Holding On, written by Angela Brown

(Hook)
At first, I was tired and suppressed,
My thoughts depressed with regret
And how it came to be until I felt the hurt inside of me,
Your image in my memory is sunrise in mourning.

I’ll keep holding on

We were real tight

Though at times we would fuss and fight,
Still found the time to hang out all night.
We would tell the dozens,
Laughing out at our lies
Alibies that made up for hard times,
At times I’d go to you for advice,
You’d always let me inside your life,
To tell me things will be alright.

I saw an angel appear,

I felt its presence when you were near.
I watched its beautiful metaphor for after-life
Of how its lips pressed against yours,
And whispered to you all so gently
As it took you, your last sigh taken away, as you died.
(Hook)
At first, I was tired and suppressed,
My thoughts depressed with regret
And how it came to be until I felt the hurt inside of me,
Your image in my memory is sunrise in mourning.

I’ll be holding on

You took the time

That meant a lot to me,
Because you had heart to share with me.
There were times we would argue
And mess things up
No matter how bad things worked out.
It’s not the same without seeing your smile,
Having your spirit to hold on to,
And I’m still missing having you around.
Missing your personality shine
Seeing your smile light up a room,
You’re face shining brightly with wings before noon.
You taught me how to work things out
When times were hard, while in doubt,
Between two ponds you found the route to heaven.

(Hook)
At first, I was tired and suppressed,
My thoughts depressed with regret
And how it came to be until I felt the hurt inside of me,
Your image in my memory is sunrise in mourning.

I’ll be holding on

At night, I lie awake in wonder in my dreams

Believing in love for what it means,
Your death in return ripped my heart at the seems
The feelings I inquired, the regret inside of me.
I would have given you the world and asked for nothing
The candle captures the wind in your memory.

(Hook)
At first, I was tired and suppressed,
My thoughts depressed with regret
And how it came to be until I felt the hurt inside of me,
Your image in my memory is sunrise in mourning.

I’ll be holding on

To those words as beautiful as mine,

The lost lessons learned,
The memories I find,
Are a bitter cry for truth.
I write the passion for loving you
To have loved someone,
I will fight for memories to remain.
As the bitter sweet words that stain on this page
You are forever in my memory.

I’ll be holding on.

Elegy to Love, written by Angela Brown

(Hook)

An elegy to love is a refreshing fruit;

The flavor is sweet to taste,

Because it is natural.

When I fell in love, you were the one

I was your crescendo, a metaphor for love.

I was a young thang, an innocent virgin

I admired you from afar and fell in love at first sight.

For the first time I made love, uncertain of who I was

I did not understand relationships or who to be with.

We came to fuck unexpectedly, my eyes shut tightly,

You told me you needed me to trust

I was afraid something would come between us.

At the time of emotional disparity

It felt so good it was a sweet parody.

(Hook)

An elegy to love is a refreshing fruit;

The flavor is sweet to taste,

Because it is natural.
I saw oceans unfold into waves;

I saw the rain pour down from heaven;

I heard thunder clap its hands loudly;

I tasted the water quench my thirst;

I smelled the sweet nectar of perfume between us.

It was a quiet moment that dare not end

It was the pleasure of this moment I had sinned.

It was a moment of distress

Tears flowed down my cheek and digressed.

(Hook)

An elegy to love is a refreshing fruit;

The flavor is sweet to taste,

Because it is natural.

And through this moment of passion

A long stem rose appeared, Wuthering heights was near.

A spiral stair case, A babbling fire

A feather underneath my feet, fulfilling my desire.

The shape of your mouth as you snore, the snare of your body as you roar

The slur of your speech, walking barefoot on the beach.

The grain of sand in my hand, sustaining in time

A still born lost in memory left splinters in my mind.

And the deep velocity of the universe never stops counting rhymes

And the illusion of love lives eternally in time.

(Hook)

An elegy to love is a refreshing fruit;

The flavor is sweet to taste,

Because it is natural.

CROOKLIN, by Poet Angela Khristin Brown

It must be the music

Caught up in the struggle

Began in the streets

The ghetto culture

Highs and lows

Elements of a struggle

Of living black and free

Dream variations

Its all but a dream.

We would sing Gladys Knight songs

All night long, our brush used as a

Microphone. Never knew life would

Be like this, take a bullet for you,

Caught up in the system. You set up

The rules.

Used to read Jet magazine

Admire the beauty of the week.

Looked up the top ten hits

Of the best selling song list.

Wanting to be a model, staring at

Up beat fashion in Ebony magazine.

Saying the same things you say

You swore back in the day

That we would pave the way some day.

That we would be different, the things

That come our way. A sister would learn

To earn her keep making it on her own

Not dependent on any man, doing the

Best she can.

Back in the day we would escape the heat

We admired the lessons taught from the wars

Fought, caught up in the struggle, we put God

First in church. As friends we were invisible

To who we were in society, with our dreams of

Equality.

Imagine no more public housing

No more street laundering

No more war boundries

No more wall boundries

No more biased colors, biased

Race, biased sins, Where we became a

Race of men, next to kin of women

Creators of sisters of daughters who

Suffered, struggled and sacrificed

Purpose to make a difference.

In the streets where boys become men

Played basketball, stick ball and chased

After dreams. Where men learned to

Get along and survive the fierce streets

Of drive bys, watching brothers die.

For what reason?

The color of the skin is where it all

Began. Colors, races, genders publc

Defenders being biased making a

Difference. Orientation, designation,

Regeneration, desegregation,

Disorientation defines us. As we are

What we be like as humans living

Out a dream.

To be at peace, we define our race

By the walls we create and the laws

Of faith.

In the river of life, we taste the water

Bitter and cold, with the taste of salt.

We are baptized in the salty water to be

Cleansed of sin that we live in.

A child’s imagination begins with a dream.

Playing with toy trucks, bottles and dirt,

Easily entertained with cartoon heroes,

And playing the drumbs.

Girls make up their own dreams of having

Families by playing with dolls, clapping hands

Keeping rhythem, double ditching to the tune,

And roller skating in the afternoon.

It is senical to think how a young kid gets

Raped in their sleep, and all her dreams

Of being someone are taken away by

The one she loved.

In the ghetto, hard life and hard times

If enough to get you by. Wishful thinking

Becomes a daily lie.

Old drug addicts hanging out on street

Corners. Old drunk men, lost in dreams

Living in trash cans with broken bottles

Thrown at me.

Old huslters, the pan handlers to make

Ends meet, selling stolen things

From old yard sales and swap meets

In barber shops and beauty salons

On the streets.

Old gang bangers, clocken time, dropping

Dominoes bones, playing cards, gambling

Pay check away for a good price.

Good times,

These, all good times

Leave your worries behind

These, all good times

Fly girls loosed in the clubs

Hair did, nails done

Hoping they catch someone.

Boys chasing girls, dressed to the T

And clean, dressing classy like

Essence magazine.

Its in the music, playing loud

Its all good in the hood

Its in the music, good music

Its never what it seems to be

Its in the music, good music

Its all but a dream

Move on Live on
Ode to Mississippi, I think of you
Mississippi River as vast as the eyes can see
Spread your arms out to me
Reach out to me tenderly.

Salty water, clear and pure

Healing the wound of regret
Forgiving souls of neglect
I dream of you touching me
Holding me near peacefully.

I dream of Vicksburg, Mississippi peacefully

of riveting calm tides of Sweatman, Mississippi
These words, these lines, mystic rivers
peaceful waters, of Meridian, Mississippi
Of the deep blue river, I dare to dream.

Mississippi, I think of you

With arms stretched out
as far as the naked eyes can see
From the swamps of Lousiana
To the banks of Mississippi
With gazing eyes watching over me.

Many have journeyed through this path

Some souls were blessed
Some hearts were found
some souls felt the warmth
From the river of faith
What I speak of.

Mississippi, when I think of you

I fast asleep, I begin to dream
and in its image, I have of you
Is the lyrics of hope and love
that dreams are meant to be
made of.

Ol’d Mississippi Song

Ode to Mississippi, I think of you

Mississippi River as vast as the eyes can see
Spread your arms out to me
Reach out to me tenderly.

Salty water, clear and pure

Healing the wound of regret
Forgiving souls of neglect
I dream of you touching me
Holding me near peacefully.

I dream of Vicksburg, Mississippi peacefully

of riveting calm tides of Sweatman, Mississippi
These words, these lines, mystic rivers
peaceful waters, of Meridian, Mississippi
Of the deep blue river, I dare to dream.

Mississippi, I think of you

With arms stretched out
as far as the naked eyes can see
From the swamps of Lousiana
To the banks of Mississippi
With gazing eyes watching over me.

Many have journeyed through this path

Some souls were blessed
Some hearts were found
some souls felt the warmth
From the river of faith
What I speak of.

Mississippi, when I think of you

I fast asleep, I begin to dream
and in its image, I have of you
Is the lyrics of hope and love
that dreams are meant to be
made of.

Hot Comb

Saturday night,
Mom washed my hair
Deeply conditioned
She wrapped a hot towl
Over my head
and blow dryed my hair
with a comb and a brush
Mom took the time to part my hair
piece by piece she would greese my scalp
section by section she rubbed the greese in
With weak tired hands

Early in the wee hours

of Sunday morning before church
I sat in the hot kitchen
Next to the stove burner
With balls of sweat rolling down my cheek
As Mom took hot comb
From off the burner fire
Held the wooden handle
and pulled the hot comb
through my thick cotton like hair
my thick nappy negro hair
section by section she greesed the hair
before burning each strand straight
Until the ends would flip in the air
like I was born with good hair

Mom would pull my hair back

and comb it into a pony tail
I wore ribbons down south
the ribbon with a bow
part of Mississippi culture
with my white Sunday dress
Black patent leather shoes
and white gloves
I was prepared for church
In preparations to meet God

Rap

a good rap song

carries a beat
foot tapping
fingers snapping
it is all about the base
about the base
and the drums

rap lyrics are behind the phrase

do not understand the street language
most know the words to re-phrase

rap is broken down knowledge

of ghetto blues
mixed with underground hip hop
Reggie, soul, and r & b tunes
talking all the jive
with an attitude of street poems
you can feel because you relate to it
keeping the words real

rap is our strength

the voice of the people
knowledge is power
a spoken word poem recited
to Reggie, soul, jazz, and r & b tunes
rap is the word up
straight out of the hood
rap, the wisdom of words
rap, words of peace
rap, the words of poetry
about our peoplea good rap song
carries a beat
foot tapping
fingers snapping
it is all about the base
about the base
and the drums

rap lyrics are behind the phrase

do not understand the street language
most know the words to re-phrase

rap is broken down knowledge

of ghetto blues
mixed with underground hip hop
Reggie, soul, and r & b tunes
talking all the jive
with an attitude of street poems
you can feel because you relate to it
keeping the words real

rap is our strength

the voice of the people
knowledge is power
a spoken word poem recited
to Reggie, soul, jazz, and r & b tunes
rap is the word up
straight out of the hood
rap, the wisdom of words
rap, words of peace
rap, the words of poetry
about our people

Make America Great

Do you know the meaning of the word "N"

Did history divide us because of our skin?

Greatness begins from within by character

Not by the color of the skin
But by what is inside of him
And from of his talents, skills, and knowledge,

Where does the battle of innocence begin?

Does that mean I can no longer have different race friends?
I no longer have the personal freedom to dream?
I bottle up feelings of being mistreated?

When a child calls me a "Niger"

He believes I am inferior
When a child is taught to hate himself
The parents and teachers wage wars
That teaches kids racial ignorance

What makes a man better is

when he learns to find his purpose
Not to be judged by the skin he is in
Nor to be treated wrong because he is different
Man fails to understand what he does not know
Life experience gives a child a chance to grow
When a child loses his self-esteem
He loses his will to live

Teaching hate causes illness

People can die from mental illness
Teaching to forgive and love each other

Our Hips

Edit Song Facts

Much homage to our hips

hips that did not give in
Lipton tea, kool-aid, lemonade
was the sin I live in
hips stuffed with gin
fried pork chops, fried okra
proud of the skin I'm in
turnip greens with turnips
hot water cornbread is the beauty it holds
season fried chicken and lima beans
fried green tomatoes, cream corn
and rice pudding potato fries
images of smiles and laughs
races of people ancestors proud
fried fish, skillet corn bread, and spaghetti
mac and cheese, red beans and rice
secrets of my babies taken from me
and stolen dreams from my past
I hold on to broken memories
of being misunderstood
rumors tease and hold on
are no good
the ancestors singing
the legacy stands
with the Lord above
holding my hand
my hips is the Mississippi river
that holds the water down deep
that keeps me going my heart pumping
from regret holding on tearing me down
where the summer kept me from harm
my hips taunt freely with grace and pride
race of women who could have died
while giving birth erased, removed from regret
much homage to our hips
of sweet nectar that breeds
a race of fine men and women
babies that add to the family legacy
I grasp my hips in solitude
of emotions and of pride
my ancestors gave before me
my hips are grandma's hips
mamma hips, auntie's hips
great ganma hips, nieces hips
cousins hips that say please
take it easy don't tease me
but please our hips with
the Lord blessing us with
hips that give birth to a nation

Must be the Music

16-inch records
8 track tapes
cassettes and Cd'
The sound of music played
on my high-fi recording machine
I was 6 years old
listening to Aeron Nevel
'Siting on the Dock of the Bay'
played Marvin Gaye
could sing every word
'Let's get it on'
was the word on the streets
everyone heard
the records played the Temptations
I knew very well
The sounds of Lionel Richie
was so cool, the Commodores ruled
I remember listening
to Glady's Knight and the Pips
'A Long Way to Georgia'
had come to this
The Soul Sisters had reminded me
the lyrics, 'We are family'
Jimmy Hendrick could play the drums
then there was Aretha Franklin
'Yellow Catalac' and Chakka Con
would sing 'I feel for you'
and the sound of music played on and on
Gillispie, Davis and B.B. King
listening to the greatest jazz ensemble
I swayed to the sounds of Nat King Cole
played the greatest notes on an album
from Smokey Robinson
I felt the notes as the songs played
I heard every word
of Bary White deep voice
of every word said
the music played
Funkadelic tunes stood in my head
my imagination would play a tune
I listened to Pattie Label sing on and on
the rhyme and rhythm of Marvin Gaye
as it played with my moods
I closed my eyes to the Syalitics
I opened my heart Rebbie Jackson
as I fell in love with old school music
the voices in my head silenced
as I listened to Miles Davis play on and on
I listened to the old school sounds
as the music played on and on

Old School
16-inch records
8 track tapes
cassettes and Cd'
The sound of music played
on my high-fi recording machine
I was 6 years old
listening to Aeron Nevel
'Siting on the Dock of the Bay'
played Marvin Gaye
could sing every word
'Let's get it on'
was the word on the streets
everyone heard
the records played the Temptations
I knew very well
The sounds of Lionel Richie
was so cool, the Commodores ruled
I remember listening
to Glady's Knight and the Pips
'A Long Way to Georgia'
had come to this
The Soul Sisters had reminded me
the lyrics, 'We are family'
Jimmy Hendrick could play the drums
then there was Aretha Franklin
'Yellow Catalac' and Chakka Con
would sing 'I feel for you'
and the sound of music played on and on
Gillispie, Davis and B.B. King
listening to the greatest jazz ensemble
I swayed to the sounds of Nat King Cole
played the greatest notes on an album
from Smokey Robinson
I felt the notes as the songs played
I heard every word
of Bary White deep voice
of every word said
the music played
Funkadelic tunes stood in my head
my imagination would play a tune
I listened to Pattie Label sing on and on
the rhyme and rhythm of Marvin Gaye
as it played with my moods
I closed my eyes to the Syalitics
I opened my heart Rebbie Jackson
as I fell in love with old school music
the voices in my head silenced
as I listened to Miles Davis play on and on
I listened to the old school sounds
as the music played on and on

Girlfriend

you wore large hoop earrings

and platform shoes
plaid gouchoes
a white shirt with a butterfly collar
standing at the corner
sucking on a lollipop
you bought at the candy lady
in the hood, it's all good
'singing we are family'
the girls were blood sisters
with a bad attitude about life
and candy doll shoes
you wore twisted braids
hair lightly pressed
with a long bang
baby hair neatly meshed
girls hung out
speaking of good old times
dreaming of boyfriends
on the corner singing old school rhymes
boy playing a boom box
playing Shaka conn rhymes
I'm feeling you, cause I love you'
the poetry echoes in the girl's minds
Luther Vandross reminds me
of the very first time
the first boy I kissed
how he held me in his arm
I reminisce, our lips pressed
how he touched my heart
I fell in love

To My Man

You say I am not shit

That I ain't about nothing
After years of trying to make the relationship work
All of you sudden you say you don't want me
You don't need me
You want to leave me
I'm trying to understand why I'm not good enough
Was I to blame through your verbal abuse
I believed in you and all the things you said and did
The warm memories of your touch, how you held me
I was trying to work things out
And you used every excuse to not love me
How I loved you as the father of my child
I wanted to go for walks in the park
Eating at a restaurant
Spending time with you at a movie
You could only find the time to fuck me
I was confused when we made love that you loved me
Your kind words 'you looking good'
Your kind words 'you are fine to me'
You held the door for me
You offered to pull my seat
You were there to help me
In my time of need
I trusted you as a friend
You never paid me to have sex
You were there to cofront me
In my time of need
I was the one who gave you money for your divorce
I was the one you came to cry to when things were't working
I was the one who cared to build your self-esteem
I was the one who help you follow your dream
She wanted you to steal for her
I remember you said if it happen to you it could me too
I wrote you letters in prison and paid your bail
She ran off with all your money, left your wallet dry
Of a bad relationship with a broken heart
We lost a few babys , by rumors designed to hurt
I felt the pain, the regret, the hurt
Of having my babies taken from us
We had an insecure love
Of those who came between us
I loved you more than life itself
The key to a bad relationship,
Is a broken heart
To forgive is more painful
Than to feel the neglect
That one you loved never felt your affection
You hate me now that I walked out
The things you hate me for now
Were the things that kept our love true
Only I was always too imature for you
I could not express how I felt
You were more experience than I was
In communication we needed to work things through
You had other women attracted to you
I was worried about losing you
You made me feel loved
I felt good inside
I changed my ways
Crazy over you, in so many ways
I became a better person
Having you present in my life
Has made a difference
Baby I would wish you to do the same
Now that your gone our separate ways
I needed a man in my life to pave the way
It pays to be nice to someone
To walk out on love
Never to return
No love don't love nobody no more

It is my dream to break barriers by creating milestones in creative writing. I feel that

diversity involves creatively expressing ideas toward issues of concern. With the technology
advances today, students can access and engage knowledge on current issues. Students can
use archives and creative research to voice their opinions on politics and public policies
that occur in modern media. I feel that diversity involves a student to be able to expose
and explore topics through research and develop interest so the student can expand
knowledge through advocating personal values. towards a topic is meaningful to having
your voice heard. Having your option is as important to acquiring the knowledge to
know what is ethical in society. I feel that diversity involves creatively expressing ideas
toward issues of concern. With the technology advances today, students can access and
engage knowledge on current issues. Students can use archives and creative research to
voice their opinions on politics and public policies that occur in modern media. I feel that
diversity involves a student to be able to expose and explore topics through research and
develop interest so the student can expand knowledge through advocating personal values.
towards a topic is meaningful to having your voice heard. Having your option is as
important to acquiring the knowledge to know what is ethical in society.
I went to the diversity summit one year and I enjoyed the presentation on how creative
writing can implement new ideas to teaching literature. There was an English instructor
who gave an inspirational speech on how she could reach her students by having them
express their own ideas about literature. Her class was not just given on reading
comprehension. For example; a student can take an excerpt from a play and use media
reflection response by reciting poetry or a player commentary or use a skit from a reality
play interpreted in their own words and record the piece, recite it, or give a video
presentation. The internet downloads video clips for presentations or voice recordings for
presentations or students can make music or even a rap song.

I used my poetic talent by writing music lyrics online on SoundCloud, African-

American genius, and YouTube. I always wanted to become a famous poet. I am
learning different ways to use my poetic talent. There is a lot of technology online for the
student that can be used to do so. I have an example of an audio recording I made. I
made videos out of old pictures and used text to read my poem with music background
with Vimeo videos. My poetry books are available online through Amazon and Barnes
and Noble books and nook books.

Tupac got his shot in fame by reciting his idea of a Shakespeare poem in his own word
performance. Tupac got his first break in college poetry workshop to do rap with Digital
Underground. Did you see his movie? There is a lot of talent out there. Learning is more
than giving a summary of the literature. Learning can be creative too. Being creative in
the classes is my definition of using diversity in the college classrooms.

When you touch me

I am aroused
My body temperature rises
My heart is on fire
As your hand gently
Caresses my skin
I begin to moan with pleasure
I lick my lips
You pull me closer
Holding me near
My arms around your neck
We stare in each other’s eyes
Your gently kiss me on my forehead
As love surrenders
I notice you from a distance
I stare at you,
You are a strong and intimidating man
And I admire your charm.
You from afar are appealing
Women notice you
I never met a man who was as gentle and kind
I would like to get to know you better…
I notice how you pay attention to me
I like how your eyes undress my body
You gaze into my eyes,
Lovingly your mouth swallows my chest
My nipples point at your sweet caress
I begin to melt as your eyes sensually, fondle my
Breast with warm kisses that follow
Chill begin to go down my spine
Your tongue licks my stomach
My body is aroused at you making love to me
I find every moment inviting…
When it rains
I can feel the moisture within
My body dances in the rain
Soft rain drops touching my skin
The contrast of hot and cold water
Dropping, dropping, dropping
Trickling against my flesh
Tingling against my skin
The taste of rain savors my senses
Of a romantic interlude I had with you…
It’s the way you touch me
I like the way your skin feels pressing against my skin
To feel your hands covet my waist, to hold me close
Deeper and deeper I have fallen in love
I yearn to feel your grip from behind
You grip my body firmly and as you squeeze,
I am consumed with pleasure inside
I never felt solo good
Panting at this moment of ecstasy
My body wants to make love to you…
We had a raw love that happens unexpectedly. The love that
creeps upon you when you least expect it to happen and hides
under a rock so it won’t be exposed. The type of love that
surrenders and opens up…
You were my boy
We were close friends
I closed my eyes
To explore my curiosity.

It was an experiment
That felt so real
I wanted to share the feeling
I felt for you.
I wanted to give you my forbidden fruit
I wanted to have a sexual interlude with you
I was willing to risk all to give love a try
Not realizing the risk of ecstasy might do
I had only one chance to prove my love to you…
Our lips pressed against each other
I could taste your tongue
I could taste your breath
Our tongues caressed
You held me tightly
I grasped your back
My face in your hands
You pushed me back
Your tongue got deeper
Within my grasp
You rubbed my breast
I was in need
I bit down slowly
The heat between us
Beneath the sheets….
I hug my pillow tight at night
Wishing it were you
At night when I am asleep
I have sweet interludes of being with you
I feel your lips caress my skin
I feel the heat from within my body
I imagine doing sinful things
As I sleeping, rocking, sleeping in my sleep
I awake to realize it is just a dream…
When our eyes met, I was in position
You spread my legs and my body opened up
Our bodies were connected as one
I could no longer see
You told me to open my eyes, to trust you
It was at this moment it felt right
I could feel you deep inside of me
Holding on….
At that moment I was in lust
My body trembled with emotions from the heat
My flesh tingling with delight of ecstasy
My body wanted to yearn to be touched and held
Moaning the feelings of sensation revealed
This moment was enticing to feel to me
From this very moment we were in love indeed…
Every moment without you I miss pleasure
I feel the pain
Of wanting to hold on
Hoping you will stay
It’s hard holding back my tears
I miss the pleasure
I felt the pain
I hold on to the memories
Thing are not the same
Without you near
Hoping to see you again….
When we first met, you were like no other
I cease the moment to discover
I struggled, I fought back the tears
When we touched base, I let you in, I trusted you
And we made love
Before we became more than friends….
Let me let you love me, like real good love supposed to be
Let me be the one you come to when you are lonely
Let me be the one to please you in your time of need
Let me be the one you run to, to please your fantasies
Let me be your every desire, let me be your closest friend….
Beautiful Woman, by Angela Brown

You wonder where my beauty lies

When people stare they realize

It’s the pride in my step

With my head held high

Its from the spirit within

My looks don’t lie.

It’s me they see me for who I am

It is how I carry myself with pride

That is where my beauty lies.

I can arouse the crowd with intellect

I impress people with my intellect

People listen to what I have to say

They learn from my personality

It’s me they admire

From my spirit within

That they love to learn from my wisdom.

People see me for my grace

They love my kind heart

And generosity

The love the way I smile at them

How I carry myself while in a crowd

The love me for my grace and style

When they see me, they are proud

Its me, the women in me

That stands out

They look and stare

Because I am a beautiful woman.

Westside Story
I
Papa sat in his same seat staring out in space with
the light on and the black television looking back at
him in the dim light of evening sun setting behind the
mountain of serenity. Peacefully Papa sat. What was
Papa thinking? Dreaming of the good old times,
before he retired; but now he rests his mind, in the
stillness of an empty house. May he rest his last words
in peace.
II
He undressed me with his eyes, eyes following the line
contour, my elongated, my roundness of my
shoulders, my tiny chest mounds of my breast, my
curvy hips, my thickness of my legs, with every hint of
pleasure gazing the entire wavy imprint of my body
frame. The heat surmounted inside as he undressed
me with his eyes.
III
There is a mark on my bedroom wall that is a dark
mystery I find disturbing, so isolated it is a distracting
and quit annoying to look at something I had not got
used to because it is a mark I cannot relate to that I
ignore because I want it to go away.

Gone

Miss you, but your still here

your chair is empty
but memories are still there.
I placed a space in my heart
I have imprints of your smile,
the family stories told
but made us laugh
and got me through and through.
Good talks about history
that made me whole
I will never forget you
for what loves worth.
You are all I've got
losing you hurts
there is nothing in the world
I miss more - the good times,
Sneaking ice cream at night
with our ankles swollen tight.
We were both obese
with high risk of death
we struggled with the disease
but never gave up the fight.
I was the light that kept us strong
And you was the spirit that lives on.
Some day we will meet again,
until we meet again,
until we meet again...
Broken, by Angela Brown

He left me dry, in the blistering heat

Cold blooded, I stood on the curb

Of Tara, with nothing left in me

I swallowed my pride

I felt I had died, empty and alone

My emotions, hidden with anger

Inside my heart I hurt bad

I hid on cloud 9, he took away

The love I needed to survive

I stood homeless

The cold winter night

He walked out on me

She was no better at love than me

I was hot at her age

Men would flock to get a piece of me

He stole my goodies and left me dry

Isn’t much I can do but fall down?

Down on my knees I begged don't leave

And he's not coming back

I surrender

What do I do now?

Pick up where he left off

Love won’t be the same

I gave him my heart

I gave him my mind

I swallowed my pride

For the very last time

The comfort and support

Was the inner strength

I needed to carry on
There is no turning back

He's gone,

I stand alone, in the freezing cold

Of December and damn

I’m gone miss that nigger

I rest shallow on the curb

Got 47

A cold winter night

In December

Alone, I find a blank stare, staring back at emptiness. No one

answers my calls. I answer my own cries by thinking out loud.
On to emotions, I feel alone. I try holding on to reality. It is difficult
to do with no one around to listen.
Feel the cold inside I am used to. I am bitter, confused and alone.
Empty, I keep my own company in the dark.
Alone, I talk to myself. I laugh at my own jokes. I answer my own
questions. With no one around, I think out loud to hear my own voice
response. Its dark, cold and I am not by myself on this.
 Isolated, I distance myself from reality. Beneath this mask of
uncertainty, I feel myself breathing.
I am happy when I make up stories that keep my entertained. I am
the only person who knows the truth. I can relate to my voice as my
keeper.
In the bitter, cold I hold in anger. Bottled up anger. The anger
broken to ties, dodging hits. I am a victim of my own mind. Thoughts
racing inside, the emotions of anger and resentment I hold inside my
mind.
I am the broken bottle that seems to tear away at the guilt of being
hurt with regret pondering thoughts, escaping…
I inhale life through expressing emotions I put aside…
I love again…
I open my eyes to see the same visions I cannot see in the dark.
Being alone is a dark, empty seclusion of dry, cold air biting at my skin.
I cannot fear what I cannot see, but I feel the bitter sadness of
being cold, the suddenness of feeling dry air at night.

The life that exist lies within deep concentration. I begin to

communicate…
I am the echo in the night. Silence, my voice carries in the distance
My voice cries out to be heard. I want to be loved. Alone I don’t’
feel loved. My voice wants to be held. I miss being loved. My voice
wants to be heard. I miss being loved.
My voice is the only sound that carries in the dark that I hear.
 Alone, I am in the dark. I find myself reaching out to touch, but the
distance is too great. The distance is infinite in time.
Alone, I feel my heart beating life every second. My thoughts are a
reflection of my mind. I find my spirit slipping. I am the mirror image of
old age and youth. Inside I am slowly dying because no one listens
anymore.
Alone, I am empty. I find thoughts pondering at a distance that
continues its thought patterns, disconnected thoughts that no longer
make since to not even me…
Alone, I am a victim of self-thought, forgetting, appearing
emotions that are seamless in time at places I had not seen, knowing
what could have been, wasn’t., what was, is not, memories comes back
and again to find it never had been…
I close my eyes
To hear your voice
To feel you breathe
To touch your face
If only to see you again, to bring life back into me
I have forgotten you being alone…
Alone is to escape the mad man mindless promise you made me to
return
I waited for you to change your ways
To become the man of my dreams
But; to see you leave and leave me out in the cold…
I once felt the warmth of your body embrace me with comfort
 When we were one, I began to thirst
To quench my thirsty feeling I had when we made love
And you left me for another women
I was dehydrated from not having the water I needed to survive
I wanted to escape the madness of being alone
Of the promise you made to return
I waited for you for hours, days, months
You gave me the space I needed
Because of you, I have more time to think
I am beginning to find myself in the cold ice
I am in a better place without you
Salt is the bitter cold
That dries deep in the soul
When it has exposed to flesh,
The meat begins to taste…
Salt has become
The substitute
For hunger
Of being alone.
When you are alone, you suffer from the needs of having someone
in your life to share time with.
When you are alone, you begin to count the day’s one by one, with
nothing, no one, no thoughts, no deeds,
 With holding fund memories
Holding back
The cold stone
The black ashes
And the ice…
Alone, you have no worries
No tasks, no memories to fall back to…
Alone, you find yourself
Distancing from the truth
That leaves you into the mad world
Of solace…
Alone, I am the dim light
That shine in the night.
My light is empty
From the air.
I withhold from breathing.
Alone, I do not exist
The flickering light
Becomes a dull light
In the dark
That
No one wants
To be…
Alone, I sleep
I cannot breath
I cannot feel
I cannot see
Alone, I am in a Trans
I begin to dream
Exist…
I am fighting for my life, alone. Every day is a struggle to live. When
life holds me in its arm, I begin to grip reality and life embraces me with
its charm until I feel no more…and then silence…

To Have Loved, by Angela Brown

This time things would be different. I was going to reinvent my past, but first, I needed to discover
my inner-self. I have always set my goals high so I had someone to go. I never imagined what real
love would be like. I defined a relationship as binding, where couple sets time aside sharing, caring
and loving one another. I wanted a man I could devote my heart into a relationship that met me
half way. Before having a relationship, I had to embrace the fact that I never found love until I
learned to love myself. I have love pictured in my mind as finding a young prince to sweep me off
my feet and be my partner for life. I felt the type of love that burnt rubber on me without a second
thought of giving me a chance. It was time for a new resolution. I needed to keep focused on
positive affirmations. I think therefore I am hurting inside from a broken heart and we separated, I
cried, because I had lost a good thing. I had vowed to trust. I acknowledged the pain to heal. I
learned to be true to my emotions. I had pinned where the pain was that needed the most help.
The hardest part was trying to love again. Sometimes when you block out the ones that care the
most because you yourself are scared of releasing the very pain that blocked them out. I found it is
easier to talk to people and tell them exactly how you feel. When you said this it made me feel this.
When you did this it hurts me. I was hoping to start an emotional conversation that will bring
results. The important things are that you understand one another. The purpose for having a
discussion it to get along better. Finding Mr. Right is hard, but you can't get him if you don't try to
date other men. I had a vision of a man who would be perfect. He would talk smoothed. He had a
great physical body. He was strong and kind and very caring towards me. But first, I wanted to be a
friend. I wanted to share a relationship. We would share ideas, goals, and visions sharing time
together getting to know each other. I needed a man who is supportive and one who comforts me.
Sex is not the most important foundation in a relationship - friendship is more important. I have
worked so hard to have this man in my life, I planned it all wrong. The end result is that I am alone.
If only I could see things different I could close the gap of how to embrace a man. It is all in how I
present myself as a lady that men are drawn to and to have a man to love you is special. And if I
could rebuild what I lost, I feel the people who suffer the most are the ones who suffer alone.
Make me a channel of your piece and let me know how I can be a missionary of faith. Let me love
again.
To Be In Love, By Angela Brown (To Be In Love, Gwendolyn Brooks)
He is near and I feel his presence,
He is staring at me from a distance.
He admires my looks theatrically
The fire in his eyes,
Left words unspoken.
His stair gives me a hint of pleasure.
Racy thoughts, racy space, racing time
Fluttering eyes, silently seeing,
Whispering, he breathes trust into our hearts.
Staring into space, gazing from afar,
As one window opens, one window closes
Whispering signs within meaning,
The images of purple passion flutters my heart.
Silently beating thumps of soft
Sounds vibrating in the wind of time.
The hint of words left unspoken;
Yet, sentimental meaning is un-kept
Remembering him and his stair,
I took one last look as if it were our last.
One Last Look, Poem by Angela Brown
I since his presence, he is near
I found him staring at a distance
Only if our eyes met theatrically
The enchantment of his stair was a sign
I felt fire in his eyes that welcomed me
With so much pleasure and passion
I sensed his stare startle me
Silently our eyes embraced
As we withheld our last words
We said our last goodbyes
And we parted
We parted, one last look
Love at first sight would be
For the last time
Dream Deferred, by Angela Brown (Dream Deferred, by Langston Hughes)
To dream the impossible dream
To be better than who you are
Hating that you are different
And not making it very far.
To take risk at great expense
To dream of the impossible dream
To set your goals so high
And to never make a difference.
That no expectations are met
To go beyond your call to duty
And find the debt you’ll always regret.
To make promises you can’t keep
And dread the lies you’ve told.
To look back at your life
To find your dreams deferred.
Life and Death, Poem by Angela Brown
When
You’ve
Lost everything
Nothing to go by,
No one’s support,
No one to care,
And realize
You are on your own
Alone
With nothing
To go by, except
A dream
Sisters, by Angela Brown (sisters, by Lucille Clifton)
You like me, alike
We’re from the same culture
You like me, alike
We are from the same community
You like me, alike
Think the same thoughts
Share the same beliefs
You like me, alike
Hold our heads up high
And feel comfortable in our skin
You like me, alike
Speak about good times back in the day,
Making Momma a proud race of
You and me, the same
You like me, alike
Raise our nieces
Got 46
Got dark skinned
Wear our hair natural
Loving who we are
Representing who we be
Because we are alike
You are the notes that I sing
And I, the lyrics.
Sisters, Poem by Angela Brown
A sister
Will always
Be there
To turn to
To listen
To love
Just
Because
War and Peace - Poem by Angela Brown
We need a resolution, Must free our minds, free our souls We need a resolution,
a revolution to stay free Dont hate me 'cause Im different Don't be haten 'cause
Im a niger Ive been strugglin since the time I existed Id been designated to make
a difference
It was not me who forged re-nigerence Who abandoned my white brothers
ignorance Broken promises unpaid reperations Spreading hate from broken
promises kept Poising our minds with lies and regret Save me the
embarrassment of distress Powered by the arrogance of being misunderstood By
an instrument of change of illusion The mind wonders and is easily entertained
Crying lines from the pain, always the same The system created, exploited our
self-esteem Over our heads with regret and envy' Tear the walls down that divide
us with pity Cut out the rhetoric of war Provide us with room to grow Stop all the
bullshit haters terrorsing our nation 'cause we to busy tryin, dying of starvation
Voices of power a cross generation evolution And the aint no damn game of
seasons of delusion A torch blazing sparks of madness Stealing the future of the
masses Drug dealers become prophets the homeless become carpet baggers
Black power became a heroin addiction As if Im blinded, my minds playin trick on
my afliction I cant move from the bitter arrogance Wake up and watch my back,
must remain conscience There is a rude awakening and murder in our streets
The image of darkness has opened up at our feet Cycles of poeverty and child
neglect History has crippled our minds with poisen We shall all vote for a
resolution to free our minds from destitution, wind back the tape of time swallow
our pride, ponder our thoughts, free our minds understand why we are where we
are today Fight the violence, end the distruction, abomination we want peace,
war and peace we want to be free
Angela Brown
Tis is Hot – Poem by Angela Brown
I am not got long I am not playing You got it going on Cause luv burns What's up with us It's all
in good time I can't stop thinking of us Got cha luv bug within my soul Lost and found You know
what I mean Can't get enough
Hit and run, war and peace You and me I want to be there for you To stand by you Not ashamed
of sexing you Check one check two Down for you Cause I got you And yo mamma yo, I got you I
got you good On the run I’m blinded for your loving I like kicking with your style Cause you
blow kind of cool I took it, bent it, licked it, kicked it I own it and will bone it You pieced it
marked it claimed it Cause we ride it right Our luv is tight I hunger for your trust Cause I got it
like that I am not got long I am not playing You got it going on Cause luv burns it’s like this, It’s
like that Your words and dialect Blow my mind I want to give it one more try In this life as your
wife
To bring down walls that divide us time To create our peace Make our peace Cause I thought
you made me a woman And I made you into a man Our luv is on fire One two one two Someone
call 911 Our love is hot And I'm burning with desire Dial 911 My heart is on fire
Empty Heart - Poem by Angela Brown
What do you do with an empty heart? Would you die at this moment? Would you break down
and cry out, for the one you love? Would you change your ways, to make him happy? Would
you drop everything, to be with the man you love? Ideas, dreams, fantasies drifting within
space Silenced, I longing to be held longing to be touched longing to be admired
what would you do with an empty heart? To what extent would you go, to have him back in
your life? Would you jump out a plane? Would you bend over backwards to win his love?
Would you give him all your worldly possessions, to be with your only true love? Hands, skin,
lips, tongue Silenced, I am Wanting, needing, desiring To be told I am loved To be cared for That
he respects my needs That he encourages my dreams Love hurts in many places In darkness
and light, It has many phases. We break up to make up We take chances Words go spinning
inside Of an empty heart and Closed a mind An empty heart
Honestly - Poem by Angela Brown
Honestly, honestly rhetoric, honestly
Because I love black men Don't make me weak I loves a black man who is upfront Who speaks
his mind Who is strong, gentle and kind Because I love a black man Don't make me weak For all
his Sugar and spice And everything nice Is the reason I am a freak Because I love a black man
And strong as black coffee Because he got me like that And is all of that And a bag a tricks to
match Because I love black men He makes me whole Is down for whatever At a drop of a dime
He can be my lover Or he can be a friend He is the one I run to Because I need a real man
Because I love a black man I love a black man For his bag of words that move For his devotion
to me is true He is the reason to live A black man’s loving is passionate
And one of a kind I could have his love No other way Because when he rocks my world He gives
the dip in my hip The sway in my walk The smile on my face Makes my body talk I love a black
man I chose him for who he is Because I choose a choice By choice I am free To love a black
man freely Because I love a black man Honestly, I choose to love only him or nothing at all U C
I’m no ho Because I have respect To love a man for who he is Honestly, I love my black men
Honestly, I do love a black man Honestly, honest rhetoric, honestly I do
I'm Sorry - Poem by Angela Brown
There is a man I call on I’m drawn to answer my calls A man, I’m drawn to his loving Kisses, Tis
man, my soul Partner in life, is cool to have Him talk to, laugh to, To Answer my senses I’m
drawn to this kind of man love lyrics. Tis man has the crazy, cool, loving Flesh ripe skin tight
finger licking Good, Oh has so fine He got me liken his intellectual skills words blowing my
mind Tis cool cat got me he got me tongue twisted hung over his lips I’m fallen deeper hung
over drunken love so sweet it’s so sweet to have a man kind of twisted for my she- t Kind of
want him for myself but to me it seems has afraid has hooked and we not seen but temptation
has it going down like that and if he asked I’d go deeper into his mind And do him again I could
not do it alone not with myself but with a guy like that caught in the habit I got to have it in for
him and he had done me the same we eventually
I want him around more often to create our peace, make our peace make the heat sustain got to
have it got to want it got to luv it the same me you he and tis aunt no - - I can do bad all by
myself cause I’m a woman with needs in need of a man - Tis am not no she- this time I’m for
real
It’s Over - Poem by Angela Brown
Baby, what's up with us Things used to be different You’d hold me in your arms And tell me
sweet nothings Baby, what's up with this I kept my body tight You would hug my hips And rock
me all night Baby, tell me what's wrong You used to mac me down And tell me I’m fine That you
could not live without me You were the king of the castle And I was your queen Whose boots
are you knocked now Your future sister? What is it now, you played me
I’m not good enough You can't rise above your ghetto queen By being the man of my dreams
But I always thought we were better than that This is a bridge, I dare not cross Don't leave me
hanging in the streets Broken bottles, skeletons, reapers in the night I’m afraid of what is
underneath this bridge We used to be real tight Open the window and let the light shine
through I see you got that eye twinkle you had once The same look when we made love The
dark heat caressing strokes Our bodies compressed as one I afraid of losing you My only one
true love I’ve come to know Does not choose to luv me no more I’m not for you But what do you
mean? I cried many nights things were different But it is what it seems It is as it seems you told
me to walk I left It's over now and I’m not over you
My Last Goodbye - Poem by Angela Brown
I thought I'll never come to this I thought I gave my heart to you Not like this, we come to part
Too close, too far, the river is deep I thought, as far inside, in the worst way I'd drop in for at
last, far passed, to see eye to eye I yearned, I learned, to hear. my last cry I yearned, I learned I
swallowed my pride A blank stare, a beam of light in the night I held the gun close, pressed
against my heart Broken by your image, holding me for the last time Our love was raw, straight
up and kind I listened, you cheated on me for the last time The gun cocked, pointed, ready to
die To kill the poisonous lies you told For the last time Oh, baby this, oh baby that Please baby,
please. stuck in my mind My mind is playing trick on me When I gave you my heart For death
do we part I cried my last cry, I said my last good bye You look me in the eye And tell me we're
through And it does not me I'm played One shut eye, open lips, twisted tongue Was last hug the
kiss of death
You were all I got, got nothing left to give The touch of your hands The curve of your lips Your
soft spoken words Have come to this The tense grip of how you hold me near Is the grip of hate
when I pulled the trigger My last moan, my last sigh, my last groan The kiss of death, we see eye
to eye No love don't love nobody no more
Food for Thought
I know no thirst, behind this peace of mind No familiar faces, behind this peace of mind
Abandoned trust, behind this peace of mind Broken, death will come someday Alone in the
night Ill-exposed by all the lies told Words of informality ill-imagined delusions There must be
a better place in this world To heal the pain I now feel inside A place where solitude solicits my
tears Solicits my fears of being touched Not by thoughts, I felt I loved once inside Deeply hidden
rage holds a place dear to my heart I am crazy for your love Alone in the night
My innocence exercises, The pain, the fears, the tears I share Holds a dangerous place inside
Ready to explode... Alone in the night I know no thirst, behind this peace of mind No familiar
faces, behind this peace of mind Abandoned trust, behind this peace of mind Broken, death will
come someday Hit by the bearer of my roots No way, Alone It came unexpected, an intrusion I
never wanted to hide I never invited you to walk on the idea I wanted you to have me No not
this, not like this The memory of your breath The heat from inside Scatter thoughts of dead
faces Moldering imprints in my mind... Alone in the night your voice your laugh your love for
me Have become the stones of sin... Alone in the night. The memories of love Are of naked
dreams that wiped away my innocence what was of us
does not matter, of love... Alone in the night nothing to do, but take my morning pill And when
sunrise comes I'll be going another direction without meaning, words have said its last good
bye... Alone, lonely, All alone, Crazy 'bout you I hide the pain the pain in my heart Invested
inside of me, Alone Alone in the night What Tomorrow Means
I'm not crying No, not this time I've swallowed my pride Behind my tears I'm in a better place
And when tomorrow comes It'll be a new day
I'm trying, crying, defining me An intended purpose, I will lead Happy within my skin I can
breathe I'm not crying No, not this time I've swallowed my pride Behind my tears
I'm in a better place And when tomorrow comes It'll be a new day
Each step I take I stride, with pride One day I take in time, it'll be a new day
I'm wanting, needing, defying the negativity held inside hiding the pain of regret Inflicted doubt
of reality weighing down the hardship of a broken love
I'm not crying No, not this time I've swallowed my pride Behind my tears I'm in a better place
And when tomorrow comes It'll be a new day
But no, not this time You won't break me Hiding pain with a smile Laughing loudly, I stand tall
Shunning doubt with great pride For being me
One day at a time It'll be a new day Brighter days lie ahead
A new script I'll write Unknowing of What tomorrow brings
And when tomorrow comes I'll be better off without you
Love me the Last Time
I am not got long I am not playing You got it going on Cause luv burns What's up with us It's all
in good time I can't stop thinking of us Got cha luv bug within my soul Lost and found You know
what I mean Can't get enough Hit and run, war and peace You and me I want to be there for you
To stand by you Not ashamed of fucking you Check one check two Down for you Cause I got you
And yo mamma yo, I got you Chorus: I am not got long I am not playing You got it going on
Cause luv burns I got you good On the run I’m blinded for your loving I like kicking with your
style Cause you blow kind of cool I took it, bent it, licked it, kicked it I own it and will bone it
You pieced it marked it claimed it I peed on it Cause we ride it right Our luv is tight I hunger for
your trust Cause I got it like that I am not got long I am not playing You got it going on Cause luv
burns it’s like this, It’s like that Your words and dialect Blow my mind I want to give it one more
try In this life as your wife To bring down walls that divide us time To create our peace
Make our peace Cause I thought you made me a woman And I made you into a man I am
not got long I am not playing No not like this Not like this Our luv is on fire One two one two
Someone call 911 It's hot

Bitter Sweet Poetry

- Written by Angela K Brown

Bitter sweet

Bitter Sweet

Bitter sweet poetry is

When broken hearts burn eternally

I love you, but I don’t mean it, I need you, but I won’t accept it

You hurt me in the worst way, I don’t need you, but I want you to stay

I hate you so bad, but I love you the same

Why do we choose to play with my mind, why do we play love games?

I guess this is better sweet poetry

Why does love to hurt so bad, why does love to feel so sad?

Why does loving you make me laugh when I am mad?

You do the math. You cheated on me, I could not accept mahogany

I could not afford the pain and agony, knowing I was not your only.
I denied the truth inside you slept around with other women.

I was too proud to admit to tis that our relationship would come to end

You were hurting me deep down in my heart

I loved you from the very start, I cared for you from death do we part

Love is not a jealous love or a selfish love, it’s an intentional love

We break up to make up rise above our differences

Never to admit who’s wrong or generous

We fucked to demonstrate our bond

And then you don’t choose to love no more for the score

Many sleepless nights, we argue fuss and fight

I laugh when I cried racy thoughts of suicide

I took your advice about domestic violence

Its not worth the fighting over this bitch

Its come to this, you go figure it

In every bad relationship, it’s not working

I guess this is better sweet poetry

Why does love to hurt so bad

Why does love to make me mad?

Words my Mamma always said,

“To hold on, be strong, take pride in you, in all you do

Don’t let sin get the best of you.”

Sorry things did not work out,

In some relationships we have problems

Love is more than having sex

Love is about gaining his respect

Having his affection is not what it made to be

His devotion is what love means to me

Ill be down with my man for the love of me

Having his child meant the most to me

I fucked up when love was lost intentionally

I guess this is better sweet poetry