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DOCUMENT SCORE

Hickey - Persepolis 57 of 100

ISSUES FOUND IN THIS TEXT

70
PLAGIARISM

0%
Contextual Spelling 4
Commonly Confused Words 2
Misspelled Words 2

Grammar 3
Pronoun Use 1
Misuse of Quantifiers 1
Faulty Subject-Verb Agreement 1

Punctuation 21
Punctuation in Compound/Complex Sentences 14
Comma Misuse within Clauses 7

Sentence Structure 1
Misplaced Words or Phrases 1

Style 41
Inappropriate Colloquialisms 35
Improper Formatting 3
Wordy Sentences 3

Vocabulary enhancement No errors

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Report generated on Saturday, Oct 7, 2017, 1:48 PM Page 2 of 4

Hickey - Persepolis
Kaja Hickey
Mr.Bradley
Honors English 9
September 27, 2017
1
What’s your 1 perspective? Personal pronoun in formal writing
How could the text be read and interpreted differently by
two different readers?
Teenagers and Parents, they tend to see things completely
2
different. In the books 2 Persepolis 1 and Persepolis 2 [books,]
Marjane is a young girl who grew up in Iran with her
mother and father. During this time Marjane was forced to
wear a veil at school and when she was out in public, 3
3
before it was not a requirement but a new leader came in [public, ]
and changed the rules. Marjane and her parents were
against what the leader expected from them so everyday 4
her parents would go out and protest with a large group of
4
people to try and make Marjane’s life better. Her parents [everyday → every day]
left everyday Marjane had to stay home with their maid, in
this time Marjane became really 5 smart because she always
read books and that’s 6 mostly all she did. But because 7 her
5
parents were always gone she became lonely 8 and she [really]
6
missed her parents they would never spend time with her. [that's → that is]
7
The result of Marjane being left alone all the time made her [But because → However, because]
8
think she was talking to god which 9 also made her want to [lonely,]
be a Prophit which is a 10 speaker of god.
In Persepolis 1 Marjane wanted to go protest 11 on the
streets with her parents. Her parents said it was dangerous
9
and that she should stay home. Marjane did not care what [which → who]
10
her parents said and did what she wanted. She left the [is a → is a]
11
house and protested that day, luckily she was injured 12 but [go protest → protest]
it was a mistake to go out there as young as she is. Marjane
says “ I want to come with you tomorrow.” Marjane’s
parents “Where?” Marjane “ To demonstrate on the street!
I 14 ’m 13 sick and tired of doing it in the garden.” Marjane’s
12
parents “It is very dangerous they shoot people.” A [injured,]
teenager may think that the parents are being unfair and
should let Marjane go and protest for what she believes in.
From a parent’s perspective 15 they may see that people do
13
get shot out on the streets for protesting or injured 16 so it is [I'm → I am]
14
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a better choice for Marjane to stay home where it's 17 safe. Personal pronoun in formal writing

As a teens perspective 18 they may think well she just wants

to go out there and protest for what she believes in but her
parents are being unfair 19 and won’t let her go.
15

Things in Iran were bad 21 20 and Marjane’s parents thought [perspective,]

it would be a good idea to send Marjane to Austria where

16

it’s 22 safe and don’t 23 have to worry about her getting hurt [injured,]
17

or even killed. So Marjane moved to Austria 24 but things [it's → it is]

18

were a lot different there. There was a lot of 25 smoking and [perspective,]

partying nothing like Iran where things were very strict 26.
19

Eventually 27 Marjane started smoking weed and drinking [being unfair → being unfair]

things that should not happen. Marjane changed herself

20

when she moved to Austria she became a different person. Overused word: bad
21
[bad,]
The smoking made her really 28 sick 29 and the doctor told
22

her that if she kept doing it 30 she was going to die. The [it's → it is]
23
[don't → doesn't]
doctor says, “So you had severe bronchitis without
24

treatment. I 31 forbid you 32 to smoke one single cigarette 33 [Austria,]

25

and you 34 will put yourself 35 in serious danger 36.” Marjane [a lot of → much]
26

continued smoking and did not listen to what the doctor Weak adjective: strict
27

said and also never told her parent’s about it. Parents could [Eventually,]

think smoking cigarettes is terrible not including having

had bronchitis that was never treated and also was told to
never touch another cigarette 37 again, killing yourself 38 is
28

not what should happen over smoking. Teens think well [really]
29
[sick,]
she went to Austria to be safe and ended up trying new 30
[it,]
things which are bad 40 39 but you 41 only live once, and the
31

smoking cigarettes thing is kinda 42 a horible 43 idea 44 but Personal pronoun in formal writing
32
Personal pronoun in formal writing
you 45 do you 46. 33
[cigarette,]
Later on 47 Marjane met this guy and thought she fell in 34
Personal pronoun in formal writing
35
love with him. They were together in Austria they met at a Personal pronoun in formal writing
36

party. Eventually 48 he asks Marjane to marry him, Marjane [serious danger → danger]

says yes. She calls her mother and says “ I’m 49 getting
Married!’ Her mother says, “But you are still too young!
37

Listen! You 50 wait until I 51 get back, i 54 ’ll 53 52 be there in Split infinitive
38

three weeks, we’ll 55 talk about it again then.” On the other Personal pronoun in formal writing

hand 56 her father thought it was a good idea to get married

and that she should do it. So Marjane listened to her father
39

and got married. Marjane and her husband were having Overused word: bad
40
[bad,]
some issues and argued a lot.The marriage was not 41
Personal pronoun in formal writing
working out 57 so they ended up getting a divorce 42
Slang
43
anyway 58, Marjane’s mother knew she wasn’t 59 ready 60 [horible → horrible]
44
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45
but she did it anyway. Parents think getting married to a [idea ,]
Personal pronoun in formal writing
46

person you 61 aren’t 62 for sure you 63 want to spend the rest 47
Personal pronoun in formal writing
[on,]
of your 64 life with then you 66 shouldn’t 67 65 be marrying 48
[Eventually,]
them, although on the other hand they may think like 49
[I'm → I am]
Marjane’s father and tell her to do it. Some teens may think 50
Personal pronoun in formal writing
51
getting married is sweet you 68 can grow up together and Personal pronoun in formal writing
52

make a family and be in love. [i'll → i will]

53
[i'll → I'll]
There are many 69 more ways to look at these two books. 54
Personal pronoun in formal writing
Marjane was a child and turned into an adult still learning, 55
[we'll → we will]
56
parents 70 understand what she’s 71 going through because [hand,]
it’s 72 already happened to them teens understand because
their 73 going through some of it now. Some of it neither 57
[out,]
teens nor parents can understand because they did not live 58
anyway in formal writing
59
in Iran and move to Austria but we can try. [wasn't → was not]
60
[ready,]
61
Personal pronoun in formal writing
62
[aren't → are not]
63
Personal pronoun in formal writing
64
Personal pronoun in formal writing
65
[you shouldn't → you shouldn't]
66
Personal pronoun in formal writing
67
[shouldn't → should not]
68
Personal pronoun in formal writing
69
[many → much]

70
[learning, parents → learning; parents]
71
[she's → she is]
72
[it's → it has]
73
[their → they're]