MARITAL FIDELITY Commented [U1]: Attributes to marital fidelity behaviour.

SLSU-Tomas Oppus
Science and Mathematics Department
Teacher education Department

Abstract

Marital fidelity is an acquired quality that is developed intentionally. It

denotes unfailing fulfilment of one‘s responsibilities and the keeping of
one‘s word or vows expressed through a love of complete devotion.
This, however, can be seriously influenced by various socio-cultural
factors. Thus, the call to remain faithful to marital vows needs strength
of character to stand against and overcome opportunities and occasions
of cheating the partner. Using the deductive-axiomatic approach of
theory generation, a theory is formulated stating that “Marital fidelity is
dictated by one’s personal conviction of the nature of marriage and is a
function of personal and socio-cultural factors.” Hence, a constant and
wilful exercise and practice of commitment, respect, love of family, and
sacrifice beget a peaceful, satisfied, and successful married life.

Keyword: marriage, fidelity, social institution, marital-fidelity theory

1.0 Introduction Commented [U2]: A need to establish what makes a person

remain faithful.

Marital fidelity is an acquired quality that is developed intentionally. It means

a choice of complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife
(Matheson, 2009). More than that, fidelity denotes unfailing fulfilment of one‘s
responsibilities and the keeping of one‘s word or vows (Paulukonis, n.d.) expressed
through a love of complete devotion (benson, 1994) by couples.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1995) reminds that conjugal love, by its
very nature, requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of
the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it
cannot be an arrangement "until further notice." The Catholic Church further notifies
that "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of
the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union
between them." Pope Benedict XVI stressed that love is never finished and complete;
throughout life, it changes and matures, and thus remains faithful to itself‖ (Deus
Caritas Est, 17). Fidelity, like love, is no fleeting feeling but a life-long commitment
that Christ abundantly blesses. Moreover, the Philippine Constitution clearly states
that “The State recognizes the sanctity of family life and shall protect and strengthen
the family as a basic autonomous social institution.” Accordingly, the Family Code of
the Philippines defines Marriage as a special contract of permanent union between a
man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of
conjugal and family life. This reflects that fidelity in marriage is mandated both by the
dogmatic constitution of the church and the state – a reality that marriage is protected
by moral and civil law saying that the contract of marriage is both a covenant and a
sacrament between a man and a woman, with inherent obligations of fidelity – the
commitment to promise keeping – and to fairness – the commitment to giving from
one spouse to the other their due and to equitably allocate the marital resources
(Govern, n.d.).

Literature enumerates three components of marital fidelity - spiritual,

emotional, and physical fidelity. Spiritual fidelity requires both husband and wife to
embrace their responsibility of helping each other and any children they have grow in
faith to achieve their final destiny of eternal life with God. Emotional fidelity gives a
sense of importance, of being someone the other cares for and cares about. Physical
fidelity is the culmination of a lifelong fidelity “in sickness and in health” and of
intimacy (St. Kilian Marriage Enrichment Program, 2011).

Fidelity and its rigors can best be described by those whose lives exemplify
faithfulness. The Bible presents Abraham‘s fidelity to God despite difficult tests;
Ruth‘s loyalty to her mother-in-law although free to return to her own clan; Hosea‘s
resolute faithfulness despite his wife‘s infidelities; Paul‘s commitment to his mission
despite arduous journeys and imprisonment. By these, one can say that fidelity is not
easy but is possible with the help of God. Above all the Bible shows that God is faithful
no matter how poorly human beings behave. The Son of God dies so that God can keep
a promise. Married life often presents trials, conflicting choices, a partner‘s
inattention or worse. Faithful love persists. A radical commitment to fidelity enables
spouses to trust one another. Spouses lay down their lives for their beloved every day.

In her article Marriage and Fidelity, Edwards (2008) argues that marital
fidelity continues to be an overwhelmingly agreed value worldwide. A Gallup Poll
released May 2006 found that only 4% of all adults believe that adultery is morally
acceptable. That means that 96% value fidelity in marriage and believe that the
marital fidelity has a lot to do with honesty and loyalty in marriage, in feeling valued
and loved above all others. A related research released in March 2006 by the National
Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago also revealed that 22% of men
and 13% of women have ever had sexual relations with a person other than their
spouse while they were married - a fact which reveals that at least 80% of men and
women still value fidelity in marriage.

Insert here… Commented [U3]: Insert here factors/behaviors that makes a

person remain faithful.

Evident to these studies are the quantitative nature of marital fidelity and are
directed only towards quantifying fidelity experiences and perspectives among
couples. There was, however, a fewer emphasis on creating a theoretical perspective
on how fidelity works in marriage. This study, therefore, try to address the theoretical
foundation of describing marital fidelity among couples.

2.0 Theory Formulation and the theory

This section exposes various facts and universal truths which would be the
ground of formulating the theory on marital fidelity. The set of axioms were anchored
on previous studies, journals, authorities, and analyses of articles. The phenomenon
on marital fidelity has been dictated and challenged by culture and time. The
challenge focuses on how couple stays in their vows for their entire married life. The
phenomenon caught the attention of the church and the state considering that cases of
infidelities arises despite the fact that marriage is protected by moral and civil law.
Following the deductive-axiomatic approach to theory development, axioms are
derived and propositions are formulated which bounded the scope of this paper.

Axiom 1: Marriage is a sacred institution protected by law.

Marriage is about a life-long journey, a companion who will witness your life.
This life-long journey is guided and protected by both moral and civil law. The
dogma of the church mandates that the intimate union of marriage, as a
mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total
fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them.
Complement to this is a section on the Family Code of the Philippines which
defines Marriage as a special contract of permanent union between a man and
a woman entered into in accordance with law. Hence, marriage is
strengthened by moral and civil laws (Proposition2).

Axiom 2: Man is capable of being faithful.

A philosophical belief of Jean Jacques Rousseau exemplifies man naturally is

good. This goodness of man is grounded on the fundamental truth that man is
created in the image and likeness of God. As the catechises said “God, infinitely
perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man
to make him share in his own blessed life”. Thus, man participates in the
goodness and faithfulness of God. Faithfulness is a manifestation of man’s
goodness. Thus, if man is good, man has the capacity to be faithful. Hence,
fidelity is man’s virtue that preserves the sanctity and legality of
marital relation (Proposition3).

Axiom 3: Fidelity in marriage is influenced by several factors. Commented [U4]: Improve by emphasizing socio-cultural
factors.

Mutual and lasting fidelity to the duties of marriage can be seriously

influenced by various factors. Commitment, respect, love of family, and
sacrifice are influential factors that constitute fidelity in marriage (Paulukonis,
n.d.). A radical commitment to fidelity enables spouses to trust one another. It
fosters openness and intimacy. It dignifies the marriage even in undignified
circumstances like personal failure and physical or mental debilitation. A high-
fidelity marriage is the basis for a stable family in which children can flourish.
And on strong families is built a strong society (Wilson, 2012). Hence, fidelity
in marriage is dictated and influenced by various socio-cultural
factors (Proposition4).

Axiom 4: Fidelity is a choice.

Man is a rational being capable to reflect and decide for his actions which are
voluntary. Given that man as a rational being who has the capability to know
 what is proper, to distinguish socially acceptable acts from unacceptable acts,
it is then his choice whether or not to be faithful in marriage. Considering
that faithfulness is an act of a rational being, to be faithful is,
therefore, a choice and a decision to make (Propoition1).

Theory

Marital fidelity is dictated by one’s personal conviction of the nature of

marriage and is a function of personal and socio-cultural factors.

3.0 Implication to the Real World

With an increasing number of challenges in marriage at present, marital

fidelity is always at stake. The call to remain faithful to marital vows is a lifetime
commitment. As such, it needs strength of character to stand against and overcome
opportunities and occasions of cheating the partner. Hence, a constant and wilful
exercise and practice of commitment, respect, love of family, and sacrifice beget a
peaceful, satisfied, and successful married life. With trust and openness, an
atmosphere of total submission and mutual-respect sustains fidelity in marriage.
Lastly, while marriage is a social institution, its sustainability largely depends on the
marital fidelity of the couples.

4.0 Recommendation Commented [U5]: Add here for theory verification.

5.0 References

Benson, E.T. (1987). “To the Fathers in Israel,” Ensign, pg. 50.

Edwards, D. (2008). Marriage and fidelity. www.livingwellokc.org

Govern K.H. (n.d.). Fidelity and Fairness: Mulieris Dignitatem’s Wisdom Relating To
Marital Commitments, Covenants, Contractual Relationships and the Roman
Catholic Church …

St. Kilian Marriage Enrichment Program (2011). Fidelity in marriage. ..

1987 Philippine Constitution…

Catechism of the Catholic Churh

Deus Caritas Est…

Family Code of the Philippines…