Thursday

11 September 2003
Published by the USSU
Communications Office
issue number 1059
free
www.ussu.co.uk

THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY STUDENTS’ NEWSPAPER

FESTIVAL FEVER COMMUNICATE I N T H I S W E E K ’ S PA P E R

Music Editor Matt Badcock Sarah Butterworth and CHALLENGE CHOPS | this week the new VP
heads to Glastonbury Amelia Lefroy introduce the Sports tries out gliding. | page 24
Festival, whilst Andrew wonders of student media INTERACTIVE | it’s back, with loads of new
Malek gives us a taste of the at the University of Surrey things to distract you! | page 20
action at Reading 2003. Students’ Union.. BULLETIN BOARD? | Neil Christie tells us
Festivals | pages 18 & 19 Communications | page 8 of the wonders of the USSU BB | page 9

Lights. Camera. Reaction.

unpainted as yet: the Southway Underpass
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR IN CHIEF
THIS SUMMER HAS seen some significant
successes for the ‘Lights Camera Action’
campaign being run jointly by barefacts and
the University of Surrey Students’ Union.
As detailed in many of last year’s barefacts,
several incidents in the underpasses
surrounding campus prompted students to
call for better lighting, security cameras and
other safety measures to be implemented.
After a series of correspondence between
the Union, University and local council,
the ball has started rolling with the furthest
and longest underpass on the journey from
campus to Tesco’s being painted a bright
yellow, and new strip lights being installed
in the roof of the tunnel. This is a stark
contrast to the dingy, graffiti-covered walls
photograph by chris hunter of a few months ago, and a positive step to
show the council really are taking notice of
students’ concerns.
However, this is only the start, and the
Students’ Union must keep up the pressure
to ensure that this issue is not forgotten
about. As yet there have been no security
cameras installed at either of the Tesco’s
underpasses, nor the more worrying
Southway one.
During a meeting with Tony Watling
from University Security and members
of the local police force, the Sabbatical
Officers of USSU expressed their concern
that the South Way underpass was being
overlooked, and that although the painting
and light installation was a positive start,
there is still a significant way to go until
students can feel safe on their journeys to
and from campus.
Details of the ongoing campaign, and new
aims will be in the next issue of barefacts.

Guildford Students: Better off on Benefits

BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR IN CHIEF
SHOCKING NEW FIGURES from the South
East Area of NUS (SEANUS) show that
thousands of students in Surrey are being
forced to survive below the poverty line.
These figures, released on 27th August 2003
show that many students are forced to live
on around £25 a week, compared to £42.70
for the Jobseekers allowance.
Commenting on the new figures SEANUS
Area Convenor Jamie Day said “SEANUS
is appalled that a government who claims its
number one priority is education is forcing
thousands of young people in the South
East to live below the minimum threshold
that it believes a single person can live on.
After paying expensive South East rents our
members are expected to live on £25 per
week - far less than they would get on the
dole. It is incredible that in the 21st century
students are being treated as second-class
citizens - they would be better off on
benefits.”
With the Government’s widening
participation initiatives of recent years
yielding successes in many parts of the
country, in the South East it is seen to be
failing as they refuse to acknowledge the
high cost of living. These costs quickly
spread to local communities, pricing
both students and local residents out of
their own homes. Financial barriers are a
principal reason for students dropping out of
University in the South East, and prevents
many even applying due to the prospect of
colossal debt from the high rents and other
costs.
Guildford in particular is seen as the most
expensive town to live in in the South East
region. It is estimated that Surrey students
have an average annual income of around
£3,400, and outgoings in excess of £8,500,
leaving a shortfall of over £5,000 per
student, every year. Figures for London
and the rest of the country are around the
mid £4,500s, and the average figure for the
South East does not top £5,000, meaning the
Guildford students are the poorest students
in the UK.
At present, the only solution can be to
introduce a weighting for South East
students similar to that in London, where
students receive several hundred pounds
extra on their student loan each term
compared to students studying elsewhere
in the country. SEANUS are campaigning
tirelessly to ensure the government take
some action on this issue.

letters to barefacts | page 3 Try your hand at the BF Pub Quiz | page 20 trivial pursuits | page 22
2 NEWS 11 September 2003

Visa Charges hit Surrey Students

EDITORIAL TEAM 2003-4
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH financial burden on international students, track’ scheme for student visa extensions
EDITOR IN CHIEF who already pay high tuition fees in order which means the University does the bulk
Editor in Chief to study in the UK in the first place. Verity of the preparation. It is therefore difficult
Sarah Butterworth THE HOME OFFICE announced on this summer Coyle, the Vice President Welfare for NUS to understand such a high charge by the
that from 1st August 2003 it would begin to says: “The Department for Education Home Office for applications submitted
comms
@ussu.co.uk charge foreign nationals in the UK for visa and Skills promotes student mobility and through this scheme. It will also present a
renewal and settlement applications. positively encourages international students problem for students who wish to stay in the
These charges are now applied whether to study in the UK. NUS believes this is UK for a period after ending their course to
Editor or not the application is successful. Postal directly contradicted by the Home Office’s attend their graduation ceremony. In this
Chris Ward applications £155, with what the Home plans to charge for visa extensions. The UK circumstance they would be expected to pay
Office term as a premium same-day service has prided itself in attracting international an additional £155, even for a stay of a few
cs21cw costing £250. students, and the great work undertaken by weeks.
@surrey.ac.uk
The reasons given by the Home Office for the sector as a whole could be completely The President of the Students’ Union, Pete
the introduction of charging are that it is undone by this proposal.” Tivers, has been in contact with Guildford’s
Music Editor “unfair” for the UK taxpayer to pay for This change will hit University of Surrey local MP, Sue Doughty, and urges anyone
Matt Badcock this service, it will save the Home Office students particularly hard, with the who feels strongly about this situation
£90m, and allow them to provide “a better proportion of international students studying to do the same. For more information on
ms01mb service”. at undergraduate and postgraduate level at these changes, visit www.nusonline.co.uk
@surrey.ac.uk NUS and USSU are deeply opposed to almost 40% of the student population. At or speak to Pete in the Students’ Union
the introduction of charging as a further the University of Surrey we offer a ‘fast- Activities Centre.
Music Editor
Jon Allen
bs21ja
@surrey.ac.uk Mysterious
News Editor markings
appear round
Phil Howard
ph02ph
@surrey.ac.uk

Film Editor campus

Neil Boulton
cs21nb BY CHRIS WARD
@surrey.ac.uk EDITOR

Theatre Editor OVER THE PAST few days, chalk markings that
seem to be related to The Omen films have
Daisy Clay appeared on pavements all over campus.
The messages range from simply “The
ps21dc
@surrey.ac.uk Omen”, to “You don’t get the point” or
simply just “O”. Of course, these messages
may have more than just a total randomness
Literature Editor

UniS Students up
of choice.
Jennifer Walker The Omen, which depicted the birth of the
anti-Christ and the havoc he wreaked upon
ph21jw
those around him, had many crucial scenes

for National Awards

@surrey.ac.uk
filmed in and around Guildford Cathedral.
The final culmination of the film, where
Photography Editor | position vacant Damien’s (the anti-Christ) biological father
attempts to kill him, was shot inside the
Sports Editor | position vacant cathedral on the altar.
If anybody has any light to shed on BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
this mystery… you know the number… EDITOR IN CHIEF Michael Gibbons and Charlotte Jones of
CONTRIBUTORS barefacts@ussu.co.uk the School of Engineering have both been
Ben Berryman KERRY MEXSON (PICTURED above), a shortlisted in Mechanical Engineering and
Andy Blair microbiology student who graduated this Materials Engineering, and Christopher
Chris Bradshaw year and spent her professional year at Osborne and Simon Walker, both from the
Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman Leatherhead Food International has received Physics Department have made it into the
Neil Christie a Highly Commended award after being final round of the Best Physics Students.
Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean nominated by LFI for the Oxoid Technician The awards, organised by the World
Scott Farmer of the Year. The company commented that Leadership Forum, are sponsored by a
Chris Hunter “It became apparent at once that Kerry was range of companies and institutes including
Claire Iles an exceptional student. She immediately QinetiQ, Lloyd’s and BOC, and are widely
Zoe Kilb understood both the scientific side of regarded within the scientific community as
Catherine Lee the business and, more importantly, how the ‘Oscars’ of UK science and technology
Amelia lefroy that science fitted into the operations and education.
Carol Main commercial side of the company.” The winners in their respective categories
Andrew Malek Congratulations also go to to four UniS - and the overall prize of Student of the
Katy Saunders students who have been shortlisted for Year 2003 - will be announced at a gala
Pete Tivers the prestigious Science, Engineering and dinner in September, to be held at London’s
Technology Student of the Year awards. Guildhall.
11 September 2003 NEWS 3

Essex VC: Students Can Afford Top-Up Fees

BY CHRIS WARD
PROFESSOR IVOR CREWE, the Vice Chancellor
of Essex University, expressed his views on
student debt yesterday in an interview with
the Independent: ‘A graduate who starts off
at £18,000 a year in London will be paying
back £5.30 a week - which is a couple of
pints of beer. Now, most students could
afford a couple of pints of beer when they
were students, so they can afford to pay back
a couple of pints after graduating.’
The comment has been blasted as “crude”
by the NUS on their campaign sub-site
stopfeesnow.com; they have also calculated
that with the £5.30 a week repayments,
students can expect to be free of debt by the
time they are 97 years old. Crewe’s statement
coincides with the recent campaign launched
by Charles Clarke to promote the backing of
£3000 a year top-up fee plans. He recently
told the Association of Commonwealth
Universities that due to the vast numbers
of people entering higher education, it is
no longer feasible for the public to fund it.
Justifying his decision to back the proposals,
Clarke pointed out that our planned fees
were measly compared to those paid by US
students. The Conservatives, however, have to take students to the demonstration, so
pledged to abolish all tuition fees if elected book the date in your diary. For more details,
to government in the next general election. see stopfeesnow.com.
If implemented, the top-up fees will replace
the current up-front £1,100 a year, and will
be repaid after gradation in the same way as
the student loans, dependent on income.
This year is the last chance for the NUS
and students around the country to get
their voices heard nationally. The annual
NUS National Demonstration again fees is
taking place in central London on Sunday
26th October 2003. The University of Surrey
a pint of beer: comparable to top up fees?
Students’ Union will be organising coaches

Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by 5pm on the Monday before publication to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper.
Letters may be edited for length or clarity | barefacts@ussu.co.uk
Dear barefacts,
I am becoming increasingly disturbed by
one of the facilities on our beloved campus.
I am now convinced that it may, in fact, be
the worst example of its kind in the country.
A number of years ago, it was acceptable.
For the last year or so, it has fallen below
the absolute minimum standard. I believe
it is a fair standard to set, considering such
items are a pre-requisite for the use of such
a service.
In my somewhat long winded, riddled
manner, I’m talking about our post office and
the sad sad fact that it doesn’t sell envelopes.
As already eluded to, an envelope (or some
other form of container for your mail) is
essential in order to be in a position to have
your mail weighed and the correct postage
assigned. So the fact that the campus post
office does not sell envelopes means that
they are in fact over-payed, over hyped
stamp vending. If I were let’s say running a
burger van, I wouldn’t expect a customer to
provide a container for their food. How can
they get away with calling it a post office
when all it does is sell stamps?
The only difference between the stamp
vending machines on the wall of the post
office and the post office itself is you get
your stamp handed to you by a person.
Admittedly you can have your mail weighed
so you are sure that you have paid the
correct postage, but this hardly accounts for
enough to call it a post office. You could
replace it with a set of scales, a weights &
costs reference table and the already-there
stamp vending machines.
On the rare occasion that I have gone to the
post office and mistakenly believed that they
would be able to offer me a lowly envelope
(having forgotten the same situation a
number of months previously), they have
informed that although they do not sell
envelopes, the shop does. Again this strikes
me as an appalling attitude to hold on the
matter. Returning to example of a burger
van, if a customer wanted some tomato
sauce, I wouldn’t expect to get away with
saying “oh I don’t have any but that shop
over there does so you’re ok.”
I realise this is not an area of your
responsibility, but I would urge you to
consider giving it the time and consideration
such a serious matter deserves. I’m sure it is
an issue which affects many students.
Name and address supplied.
Dear barefacts,
Over the summer, I was a resident at Surrey
Court before moving into my student house.
One morning as I woke up for work (rather
rushed, I slept in) I smelt burning when I
stepped outside my room into the corridor.
Although I couldn’t quite work out where it
was coming from, I thought it appropriate to
notify University Security, so I dialled 3333
to speak to them.
When the phone was answered, I was unsure
of whether I was supposed to call them or
the fire brigade, so I mentioned that I wasn’t
sure if I had called the right number. They
replied with a rather arrogant tone “Well, is
it an emergency?”. I then mentioned that I
smelt burning on my floor, and the person on
the other end of the line then said “Well, yes,
that could be construed as an emergency” in
an overly sarcastic tone.
I wish to make the University aware that my
room and the belongings were insured, and
notifying security when I was already late
for work was purely out of consideration
for the University property. However, if I
am to be greeted with such arrogance and
rudeness, I do not see why I should bother
wasting my time. After this incident, my
respect for the security has dwindled, and I
will not be calling them again to notify them
of anything similar. I also do not understand
how the University wish to maintain a
proper relationship with the students if their
staff have such attitudes towards them, and I
suggest they seriously rethink the way they
communicate. Get it sorted UniS!
Yours Sincerely,
Ex-Surrey Court Resident
Got something to say? Got a
gripe about the University,
Union or life in general?
Then send a letter into
barefacts, either by email
to barefacts@ussu.co.uk, on
disc to the Communications
Officer, or even on paper.
It’s your paper.
Make the most of it.

barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is

published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union
Communications Office.
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual
authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the
Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the
University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part,
stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express
permission of the publisher beforehand.
All submissions must include the author’s name and Union
or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication.
Articles submitted Anonymously and Pseudonymously will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
barefacts@ussu.co.uk
WWW.USSU.CO.UK
© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2003
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4 COMMENT 11 September 2003

opinion Uneducation
... and Action
AFTER YEARS OF overlooking the problem, at last we are
starting to see some action on the part of the local coun-
cil concerning the underpasses off campus [see front page
headline]. However, we must all ensure that this campaign
is carried through to its finished, and does not fall by the
wayside as the year continues. Next week barefacts will be
publishing the renewed aims of the campaign, and on Friday
19th September the Sabbatical Officers will be meeting with
the local police and Richard Anderson from Guildford Bor-
ough Council to discuss the proposals that have already been
put forward and the timetable for the implication of these
plans. Meanwhile, try not to walk home alone late at night,
and kit up with your personal attack alarm, from available
from the Students’ Union for only £1. Stay safe.
It’s That Time of
uneducation, uneducation
Barefacts Editor Chris Ward wonders how far the current GCSE
and A level system has come in the last 20 years, and whether
it really is any better at preparing youngsters for the ‘big wide
world’.
IT’S THAT TIME of year again. GCSE and A-Level students certainly climb the ladder a lot faster with the knowledge
across the country open their result envelopes and are that backing up files prevents losing them if the hard drive
later confronted with the usual whining from past O-Level is corrupted. Similarly, Edexcel’s relatively new Advanced
students. If the pass rate is higher than last year, “exams are Vocational Certificate of Education (AVCE) in ICT has once
getting easier”. If it’s lower, “the students are getting more again proven to be an utter waste of time. The “ICT Serving
stupid”. However, as the recent reality TV show “That’ll Organisations” paper certainly isn’t easy, but ridiculously
Teach ‘Em” proves, O-Levels were ambiguous and the case study highly
certainly not “better” qualifications irrelevant to anything encountered
than GCSEs. The show, which “The PhD-hermits in industry. For the second year
takes a sample of this year’s GCSE running (the AVCE has only been
at the exam boards
students and places them in a 50s running for two years), teachers
school with 50s style teaching, is around the country have complained
purely an attempt to expose a non- should consider that the academics at the top of the

Year Again...
existent gap between the relevance of exam board hierarchy simply have
qualifications then and the relevance communicating with no clue about what really happens
of qualifications today. outside the university office they
The French teacher from the show the outside world have been hiding in for their entire
is interviewed after giving a lesson professional careers.
WALKING AROUND CAMPUS you will probably have noticed
some rather garishly coloured yellow posters proclaiming
on verb tenses. He expresses his & start educating Don’t accuse me for just picking
shock when an A-grade French on Edexcel, however. I lost count of
‘Notice of Election’ stuck around the campus (of wafting
in the wind). Many of you will know about the annual
GCSE student is incapable of telling themselves rather how many times my A-Level English
him the perfect tense of the verb Literature teacher sent practise
Sabbatical Elections that happen every year around March
time, but these elections are something different. These
“Avoire”, and emphasises that in than filling the papers back to AQA because, in her
the 50s, students were expected to words, they were “crap”. And they
elections, which are taking place in week 5 (on October
7th to be precise) are held to vote in students who help the
know verbs and tenses off by heart. heads of A-Level & certainly were. The practise paper
Well, that’s all fine and dandy. As we received prior to our final exam
Sabbatical Officers in running the Union. Anyone can stand,
whether you’re a foundation year or final year, postgraduate
a programmer, maybe I should be GCSE students with in English contained terrible spelling
able to know every method and mistakes, grammatical errors, and
or undergraduate, international or home student. All you
need is a bit of drive to want to make things better for
data member from every class in the irrelevant crap.” references to the wrong characters.
Java programming language, but it We spent an entire lesson correcting
students. The main thing to get across is that being involved
doesn’t bring me any closer to knowing how to write a good mistakes in the paper, and trying to understand why
in the democratic side of the Union really is a lot of fun. You
program, or how to apply it efficiently. When I took GCSE examiners that tell us we are “getting it easy in English these
will meet a really great bunch of people, get to have your
French, the emphasis was on knowing how to apply verbs days” are incapable of structuring a simple sentence without
say in some important decisions, and have something rather
and tenses, and was not on the tenses themselves, which I any spelling or grammatical errors.
impressive to pop on the old CV.
believe (and many current teachers believe) is the best way So, rather than take the advice of Professor Alan Smithers
So, what are you waiting for? Pop into the Union and
to do it. One more thing… I of Liverpool University who
speak to Scott Farmer, or any of the Sabbatical Officers, and
got a C in GCSE French, and believes that it is once again
become part of something really amazing.
I can remember the past tense time to make A-Levels harder,
of “Avoire”. Perhaps O-Level perhaps the PhD-hermits
students should base their at the exam boards should
arguments around more than consider communicating with

The First of Many

one example. the outside world and start
Unfortunately, the current educating themselves rather
GCSE and A-Level system than filling the heads of A-
seems no closer to preparing Level and GCSE students
AS YOU MAY have gathered by now, this is the first barefacts youngsters for the world of with irrelevant crap. Until
of the year. More hours than seem to exist have been put into industry than the O-Levels then, I still stand by the
its creation, and it’s only the start of what will hopefully be a were. One of the questions fact that academia teaches
very successful year for student media at USSU. This is just on an Intermediate GNVQ you, whereas the real world
a quick note from the Editor in Chief to say thanks to all the papers for Information and educates you.
amazing people who’ve helped put issue 1059 of barefacts Communications Technology
together, especially the sabbs, the editorial team, Chris and (ICT) was “Why is it good
Ben (the dedicated 3am Wednesday team). Thanks guys. practise to backup files on
Got something to say?

your computer?”. Of course, barefacts@ussu.co.uk

barefacts | be heard
these “high-flyers” that have be heard
passed with a distinction will
11 September 2003 COMMENT AND LETTERS 5

“I haven’t finished with drivers yet...”

Last April Chris Bradshaw wrote an article for this prestigious publication (available online at www.ussu.co.uk) concerning
the mentality of road users in Guildford. It has now come to light that he didn’t cover the subject of bad driving quite
enough, so barerants returns, and this time motorways are the target.

MOTORWAYS. GREAT IDEA. A network of
big, wide, fast roads spreading out across
the country making it so much quicker and
easier to get from A to B, without getting
stuck behind C and the caravan it’s pulling.
If you’ve ever seen the news footage from
BBC of the M1 being opened you’d see how
great they can be, a car pushing its way from
London to Leeds as fast as it can go- with
no-one getting in the way.
Forty-Four years on and things have
changed. Even with today’s modern cars the
average journey time from London to Leeds
is probably longer. It gets blamed on there
being “too many cars on the road” or “not
good enough public transport alternatives”
but the real reason is: too many people don’t
know how to drive.
There are several categories of bad driver
who may impede your motorway travelling;
I will attempt to address the main ones in
turn here.
“Middle Lane Owners Club”- Called MLOC
for short, this is possibly the largest threat to
A dog: possibly a better driver than most motorway users
sensible journey times on our motorways
at the moment. Club membership entails
only ever using the middle lanes. They’re
too proud of their Club to go in the inside
lane, which may contain trucks, slow vans
and people leaving or joining the motorway.
Similarly, they won’t use the outside lane
because that’s only for boy racers and the
Police. On an empty road, such behaviour
is fine- that footage of the M1 in 1959 was
perhaps used in their driving lessons- but not
on today’s busy roads. MLOC members are
the number one cause of increased journey
times on motorways, as everybody in the
single lane outside them must do the same
speed, rather than have the ability to pass
each other. Please note- the inside lane
is for driving along; all the others are for
overtaking only. I don’t care if there’s a
truck 2 miles ahead of you that you just
spotted on the horizon and plan to overtake
somewhere round Manchester- don’t go in
the middle lane till you’re closer and ready
to overtake.
“MirrorPhobes”- You know those two fins
on the side of your car, the one’s that are no
good for applying make up with (chaps)
or shaving (ladies), and just decrease the
aerodynamic-ness of your car, LOOK IN
THEM. Not just when you’re pulling out
or changing lanes (although some mirror-
phobes need training even in that), but
every few seconds. You could also glance at
the shaving mirror (that’s the one with the
Christmas tree hanging off it) every now and
again. You never know, you might spot the
three mile tailback you’re creating by doing
60 in the outside lane BEFORE people start
honking at you because they want to get to
their destination before you put presents
under that tree.
Despite covering all these categories of
driver here, I haven’t touched upon the
drunk, stoned, reckless, unlicensed or just
generally useless car owners on the roads.
All these mirror-phobes, rubber-neckers,
scaredy-cat-speeders and members of
MLOC spend their lives holding us up and
slowing down our journeys, and the worst
bit is they all probably think they’re good
drivers.
So what can we do? Not much I’m
afraid, these people all have licenses and
in theory as much right to use the road as
you. Gesticulating, shouting or generally
abusing these people will land you in jail,
and I think it unlikely that reporting them
to the authorities will get you very far. The

03
“Scaredy-cat Speeders”- These are the only solution I see is to save up your student
people who spot a Police Car, and must slow loans and buy a helicopter - anyone want to
down. They may only have been doing 72 club together?
Union Elections mph, but the risk of getting a ticket forces
them to brake (quite often suddenly) and
Coming soon: maintain a speed of at most 60 mph until
the police car turns off. This type of driver
elections for the ussu part time executive positions: will do exactly the same if they see a police
car stopped on the hard shoulder, with the
officer clearly visible in his yellow jacket
Academic Affairs Officer chatting to a stricken motorist- hardly in a
Accommodation Officer position to give chase on a crowded road
Campaigns Officer when you’re two lanes over and he’s looking
Culture & Events Officer the other way. Behaviour like this drops the
speed of everyone behind them, making a
Ethics & Equal Opportunities Officer
1959 family car look fast.
Non Portfolio Officer (2 posts) “Rubberneckers”- You must have seen
Placement & Employed Students Officer these drivers. Although you can’t hear their
Union Chairperson voice or read their mind from your car, you
know they’re saying “Oooh, there’s an
accident I should turn and look at that, but
and union councillors:
it seems to be going past too quickly, so I’ll
brake”. They do this even if the accident
Racial Relations Officer is on the other carriageway- and even if
Constitution & Elections Committee (5 posts) the “accident” is some child desperately
needing to use the embankment because it’s
ten miles to the next services. This kind of
positions for more information, please contact the deputy driver pays no attention to what the other-
returning officer scott farmer (s.farmer@surrey.ac.uk) or still moving- vehicles around them are
speak to any of the Sabbatical Officers in the Union. doing. You get two in a row and BLAM- we
have another accident to look at, and more
delays.
6 UNION 11 September 2003

Welcome Back to USSU

The new Sabbatical Officers - Pete Tivers, Claire Iles, Sarah
Butterworth, Chris Hunter & Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman
welcome you back to your Students’ Union. YOU MAY NEVER have heard of ‘The V Project’ before and
are wondering what exactly I am on, or perhaps you were
part of making ‘V’ so sucessful last year and are ready to
throw yourself back into it now the 2003 - 4 year is upon
FIRST OF ALL a big hello to all the people returning from placement this year. We in the Union endeavour to make us. Whoever you are …hello and welcome!
this an exciting and enjoyable year for you all. We have one big request of everyone that is going into their final year
- please get involved with the Union as much as you can, because when you leave you will only regret not joining in. ‘The V Project’ is The University of Surrey Student Union’s
There are so many amazing things on offer for you to be a part of, so here’s a quick breakdown just to refresh your programme for all students and staff which helps YOU
memories: maximize your potential and equip you with valuable life
skills – so that you can learn, meet new people, have fun, and
Sports Clubs and Societies put your experiences to great use both within the University
Don’t forget we have over a hundred different Clubs and Socs for you to get involved with. They are there for you to enjoy and local community – which of course has the added bonus
yourselves when the rigour of lectures is getting you down. You don’t have to be a pro to join in, just have an interest, so pop of making you extremely employable! What else is this
down to Freshers’ Fayre in the Students’ Union and UniSport on Wednesday 24th September and sign up. exciting? Quite frankly… not a lot!

barefacts, GU2 and ussu.co.uk Here’s some vital info:

These are the three huge communication tools at USSU. They are produced by students, for students, so whether you are a
budding journalist or just want to put your views across, it’s easy to write an article for this very newspaper. If you fancy The V Project is totally free! All we ask of you is a
having a go at radio, there is a once in a lifetime opportunity to do so at GU2. Also, if you are an Internet expert and want to minimum of 1 hour a month, and a bit of enthusiasm!
give the Webteam a hand at running our website, just pop in to the Media Centre and have a chat with us.
We are funded by the Government’s ‘Higher
Education Active Community Fund’, which will cover
DAVE, V and FUSE
any travel expenses.
This is a big chance to give your CV a needed boost before you leave University for the big wide world. The DAVE project
is there to enhance everyday skills from presentations to assertiveness, the V project is a unique volunteering system for you
We will provide you with training and support and
to put something back into the community and FUSE is a helping hand for any of you entrepreneurs out there which can help
give you certificated accreditation.
you put your ideas into practice.
It is a fantastic opportunity to boost your CV by
Union Council and Union Executive building on experiences and learning new skills.
Here’s your chance to get your voice heard. There are 16 members of the Union Executive (or ‘Exec’) and only five of those
are the Sabbatical Officers. The Exec is the team of people who run the Union. If you want to be involved at an important It offers you the chance to meet, learn from, and
level, have a look at the details of positions available and election dates, which are being advertised now. Alternatively come help people – giving you the satisfaction of doing
along to Union Council to discuss all the relevant up-to-date details of what’s going on in the Union, have your say and make something that actually makes a difference.
policy about how the Union is run.
If you are on the committee of a club or society, you are
Nights out automatically classed as a V Project Volunteer, and all you
Don’t forget in the Union you have the best nights out ever! It is the ideal place to meet up with your mates in a safe, fun and have to do to get your snazzy certificate at the end of the year
relatively cheap environment. Remember: There is something for everyone so turn to the Entertainments Planner in barefacts is tell us who you are and what you do - simple!
and see what’s on offer this week.
You can also be involved in ‘Community Volunteering’ at
an exciting project/ charity in the local community – just
The new USSU Sabbatical Officers: Chris Hunter (VP Societies & Culture), Claire Iles (VP Education & Welfare), Pete Tivers get in touch with Carol Main at USSU and she can help you
(President), Sarah Butterworth (VP Communications & Marketing) and Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman (VP Sports) decide where you want to go – easy peasy!

You can also be involved in ‘The A Team’ who run various

one off events to benefit the local community – last year
events ranged from a fun shopping trip for the elderly to an
exhilarating ‘battle of the bands’ in the USSU.

The list of fun, interesting and exciting opportunities is

constantly increasing and changing as new ones arise – if we
do not have the opportunity already we will do our very best
to find something to suit your personal needs and desires!

Whether it’s people, animals or machines that makes you

buzz – there’s something for everyone – the list is endless!

‘The V Poject’ can benefit everyone at the University of

Surrey – all students and all staff.
My name is Carol Main and I am the Outreach &
Development Co-ordinator based in the USSU.

Name: Carol Main

Tel: (01483) (68) 3254
Email: c.main@surrey.ac.uk
Web: http://www.ussu.co.uk/volunteering
Person: The Activities Centre @ USSU
8 COMMUNICATION 11 September 2003

Communicate
student media @ ussu
Do You GU2?
be heard
he rd
By Sarah Butterworth | Editor in Chief editor, theatre reviewer, or write anything
From 9am on Monday 8th September GU2 has been back on air broadcasting across
campus 24 hours a day on 1350am. With a hugely diverse range of music programmes,
whenever you tune in there is bound to be something to suit your musical taste just around
the corner. Below is a selection of the highlights of the coming week, followed by a few
words from GU2’s new Station Manager, Amelia Lefroy.

Every weekday morning 10am-12noon: Big Luke’s Late Breakfast Show

Hopefully by the time you read this you’ll
have had a chance to sample the delights of
the first barefacts of the 2003-4 academic
year. If by some small miracle this is the
first page you have read, if you have a flick
through this issue you will find everything
from the latest campus news to reviews of
music releases over the summer and even the
wordsearch and pub quiz to keep you awake
during your bleary-eyed 9am lectures.
But the barefacts saga doesn’t stop there,
or even start there. Behind the scenes there
is a team of eager beavers working hard to
bring you your favourite newspaper every
Thursday... and this is where you come into
it! It’s probably an overused phrase, but
barefacts is written by students for students.
Traditionally bf is under the umbrella of the
VP Comms, but it is moving more and more
into the control of the students. If you have
a glance at page 3 you will see the friendly
faces of this year’s Editorial Team, as well
as everyone else who has contributed to
this issue. It’s been a great start to the year,
but we need you to get involved. You can
get involved as a music reviewer, designer,
for the sections containing news, comment,
Monday
interactive, sports, lifestyle, literature and
8-10pm: AKD Productions
much more.
Tuesday
It’s very simple to get something printed
7-9pm: Just a Rock Show with DJ Steed & Drummer Boy
in barefacts - all you need to do is write
Wednesday
it, attach it to an email and send it over
7-9pm: The Antichart with Jen Walker
to barefacts@ussu.co.uk. If there is
9-10pm: AKD Productions
something you feel is missing from barefacts
10-11pm: The Presence with P
then make sure you let us know - afterall, it’s
Thursday
your newspaper!
7-10pm: The J-Team Classic with Mr Tea & Mr Mental
You do not have to be involved in the Union
Friday
to write for barefacts, you do not need to be
5-7pm: Cyclone Dance Show with DJ Woody
part of some ‘special group of people’, and
7-9pm: CAGL on Air
you don’t have to be an amazing writer. All
Saturday
it takes is a little bit of inspiration, and some
10am-12noon: FNO Recovery Show with Big Luke
enthusiasm.
6-8pm: Take Two with Chris Hall
The most important thing is that being
8-10pm: Chris Chang’s Carribean Show
part of the barefacts team is a lot of fun,
Sunday
and can take up as much or as little time
10am-12noon: The Sunday Supplement with Kyd
as you like. So, if you want to get your
1-3pm: The GU2 Chart Show with Sabeena
voice heard, get involved with something
3-5pm: The Sunday Service with Sam
exciting in the Students’ Union, and meet
5-7pm: The Student Radio Chart Show
some fantastic people, then drop us a line
- barefacts@ussu.co.uk - or keep an eye
This year for GU2 began back in May when I was elected as GU2 Station Manager at the
open for details of the first bf general
Committee Elections. Very little happened over the early part of the summer, but when
meeting.
I got back in July the fun really began! For the first time since Guildford Campus Radio
barefacts | be heard | barefacts@ussu.co.uk
was re-launched as GU2 over two years ago, the position of Station Manager will not be a
placement year student. Instead, GU2 is becoming more society focused with responsibility
being shared more equally among its members, the committee and the Vice President

ussu guide to life 2003
By Sarah Butterworth | Vice President Communications & Marketing
IF YOU HAVE paid a visit to the Students’ Union over the past few weeks you may have noticed
a selection of brightly coloured leaflets adorning the new racks outside the Media Centre.
Many of you will remember the ‘Guide to Life’ from you first year days as a thick A4 or A5
booklet, but this year it has undergone a re-vamp, and is now sent out to Freshers as a set of
leaflets in a funky new folder. As a result we have also gained several thousand extra leaflets
around the Union, on Sports, Societies, Student Media, Welfare, Student Representation,
DAVE, V and of course the main ‘Guide to Life’. So, pop into the Union and pick up a Guide
to Life pack, and find out everything you every needed to know about UniS & USSU!
Communications and Marketing, Sarah Butterworth. So with the help of the DAVE project
the new committee have been trained, and worked out GU2’s aims and challenges for the
coming year.
‘So what are these aims?’ I hear you shout. Well, here are a few of them…
The Union have allocated money to buy outside broadcast equipment for GU2, so we can
get out every week and broadcast from wherever takes our fancy - Roots, Chancellors, the
Friary Center or anywhere else we’re called to be.
To have the most inclusive schedule of programmes and music genres possible. Some
radio stations promise you the ‘best music’ and ‘all the greatest hits’, but they are often
empty promises. At GU2 we understand that someone’s idea of a hit will be someone else’s
musical nightmare. That’s why this year our aim is to get a schedule that represents all tastes,
from Urban to Indie and from Punk to Pop, sorry, ‘contemporary popular classics’ as the J-
Team would say! Basically our aim is to ensure everyone has a show with which they can
identify with the music.
We are also working with the Vice President Societies and Culture, Chris Hunter, so
that societies and sports clubs can advertise any events they want to (see new societies
handbook).

photograph by sarah butterworth
Above all we want loads of people to get involved. There’s so much to get involved in; not
just presenting, but marketing, production, news, the technical side and loads more. There’s
no excuse for people saying ‘it’s rubbish’. Firstly because it isn’t and second of all because
it’s so easy to get involved and make it what you want it to be.
Any feedback or enquiries should go to manager@gu2.co.uk, because GU2 is whatever
you make it!
11 September 2003 BULLETIN BOARD 9

Are You Bulletin Bored?

Neil Christie, a pre-first year about to embark upon a Business Management
degree at Surrey, takes a look at how the Students’ Union Bulletin Board
has given Pre-Freshers a unique insight into University Life, and asks: is the
stereotypical online Bulletin Board user a reality or myth?

IF YOU WERE anything like me in the months for interesting content. I’d like to point
before starting University, you wanted to out now that those times provide the most
know as much about the Universities you interesting replies by far, and the tastiest
selected for your six UCAS choices as bacon sandwiches known to man.
possible. I read the leaflets, visited what From looking at what I’ve gained from the
I thought would be my top choices, and USSU Bulletin Board – a secure knowledge
scoured through various University Guides of what to expect; the reassurance that other
until I thought I had a well-established freshers will be studying my course and I
opinion on where I wanted to go. Beer won’t be alone in the lecture room; the real
prices, male to female ratios, and least likely insight into the university accommodation;
to get mugged were amongst the top criteria an idea of what to, and what not to bring on
until I stumbled across the University of the first week; a helpful array or suggestions
Surrey Students’ Union’s online Bulletin for employment in the forthcoming term;
Board (BB). being constantly ‘encouraged’ to write
And stumble I did – through many topics an article for Barefacts; and I guess most
and many posts. It was a rapid realisation importantly a few friendships before
that university was not just going to be reaching Surrey, it seems like I knew
about getting drunk. Indeed – it was a sad nothing before reading previous comments
moment. However, it opened up my eyes to and speaking to existing members of the
the fact that university was going to be my university. It provides direct and honest
life and my home for the next four years, opinions – which mostly differ but on the
so it had better be somewhere I know I’m whole provide a good idea of what to expect
going to enjoy. My head filled with about – on university life. It will also open up
three million questions and, after registering windows for you to get involved, if you wish
on the BB, I asked most of those pressing to, with various societies and organisations
questions that I couldn’t get answers to repulsive looking person, hiding behind Finally the very nature of some of the including Barefacts, Stage Crew, and GU2.
from any pamphlet or Open Day guide. I their monitor and four-inch-thick glasses – discussions – technical, IT-related drivel, or In short, it’s really not at all bad.
wanted to know what it was going to be typing with one hand, configuring a new PC philosophical thoughts about the world as a The stereotyping doesn’t bother me and
like at Surrey on a day-to-day basis, the with another – staring solidly at the screen, whole – is simply not cool. QED? to have such a useful ‘service’ provided in
real perspective from students in their first, and has a complete I’d like to offer a very the shape of a BB, the university is miles
second, placement, and final years. mess around them due strong ‘Objection’ to ahead of others I have looked at. In the
Now I feel like Surrey is far more familiar
to me than home – and at time of writing
to the fact they haven’t
moved for the past 18
“The stereotypical those points.
beauty of a Bulletin
The modern era computers, and the Internet,
will shape all areas of employment and be
I don’t even have my accommodation
allocation letter. From the cost of haircuts,
years. “A geek” I hear
you cry. Is this really
Internet user has Board is that it’s not
a chatroom. A post is
heavily implemented everywhere. To not
realise their potential now, with a dismissive
to the facilities available everywhere within
the university itself; I feel fully prepared for
true?
Clearly I’d like not
to be some skinny, like a letter. It can be
made at any time, and
attitude of those who use them, is unlikely
to bring about many benefits in the future.
the whole experience and, as I sit here now,
I simply cannot wait to go. I think the most
to think so. Given the
argument that someone
pretty repulsive will stand there for all
to view in a day’s time.
You don’t need to spend your weekend in
front of a screen to reap the benefits. Twenty
fearful idea about university for a fresher is
simply ‘not knowing’. Anything. It’s like
with a social life would
be outside with their
looking person, Therefore the idea of
users constantly being
minutes a week would keep you clued up on
matters in and around the Uni, and ensure
plunging head first into a hole you know
will take a good three years to climb out
friends, involved in
something – anything
hiding behind their online is mostly a
wrong one. Personally
you don’t miss out on a pub crawl over the
forthcoming week.
of. By having some kind of knowledge of
the journey you’re about to embark upon,
– and be far too busy
to sit at home on a
monitor and four- I tend to post when
I have a few spare
For those who simply were not aware of
the BB – get on there and see what it has
it eases the tension and really does (for me
at least) make the whole ordeal a lot more
computer and do such
things such as posting
inch-thick glasses, minutes at home. Time
that, in the absence
to offer. It may not have something for
everyone – but with discussions regarding
exciting and enjoyable.
I’ve looked around for other universities
on a Bulletin Board,
it does however seem
typing with of a computer, would
probably be filled by
decisions to be made in your Union, ideas
floated concerning your university, and
with a BB and (for my choices), couldn’t
find a single one. I was coming to Surrey
pretty conclusive. BBs
are also renowned
one hand and sitting in front of the
television. Otherwise,
answers to questions you get stuck on – can
you really afford to ignore it?
anyway but after learning so much more
about the university, it cemented my choice
for being tightly knit
communities of nerds.
configuring a new it’s after a prolonged
drinking session with
It also seems everyone there likes to go
out and have fun as much as anyone else.
a long time ago. So much so that come my
A level results, I didn’t want to have an
Again, as there are
regular users who
PC with another” friends and, upon
arriving home, it
In my book that qualifies for a read, with or
without a bacon sarnie.
insurance choice – it was Surrey or nothing. post frequently on all always seems like
So why do relatively few people know about topics, friendships do tend to be struck up the most sensible suggestion is to cook The University of Surrey Students’ Union
or register with the BB? I guess that is the ‘on the boards’ and, as with any close circle up a bacon sandwich, see what’s on the Bulletin Board can be found at:
real essence of this article. The stereotypical
Internet user has to be some skinny, pretty
of friends, there can seem to be exclusive
elements about it. A clique, if you will.
box and (when it appears there’s nothing
but Eastenders repeats on) scour the BB
http://bb.ussu.co.uk
10 PROFESSIONAL 11 September 2003

Dr Russ Happy New Year from the Alumni Society

The new academic year calls for new year resolutions – study hard, attend seminars, stay awake during lectures…… but for the

Replies
Alumni & Development Office, the new year has all sorts in store for both staff and students! Amintha Buckland explains...

DR RUSS CLARK | UNIS CAREERS SERVICE
I’ve just got back and I am in a panic
about fitting in job hunting with my final
year studies. Got any good advice?
Some students like to concentrate entirely
on their studies in their final year so they
can get the best possible degree. Your first
option is therefore to delay the whole career
thing until after you graduate. However,
there are good reasons, for doing some of
your thinking and preparation while you’re
still here. For a start, most of the things we
are organising will be easier to attend now
than after you’ve graduated. What’s more,
if you would like a job next year with a
popular graduate recruiter such as Mars or
Accenture, you have to meet their deadlines,
often before Christmas, to stand any chance.
Early applications for other options such as
primary teacher training are also advisable.
What can the Careers Service do to help?
Just to give you a few examples, our Vacancy
Bulletin, which you can view on the Careers
Service web-site at portal.surrey.ac.uk/
careers will keep you up to date with the
latest employer requirements. The annual
Careers Fair on Thursday 9 October when
you could talk informally to people from
about 50 organisations. We also have a series
The Who?
The Alumni & Development Office is a
new team which now includes the Surrey
Alumni Society and is led by Professor
Peter Butterworth, the Vice Chancellor’s
Development Director.
So what is the Surrey Alumni Society
about?
The Surrey Alumni Society offers
various services to our 30,000+ graduates
which have increased as the Alumni &
Development team has grown. Once you
graduate, we become your main point of
contact with the University – we send you
magazines, newsletters, organise reunions
and assist in networking opportunities.
But now, we also give our alumni a
real chance to remain involved with the
University by contributing to its future via
the Annual Fund.
Why an annual fund?
As financial support for the universities from
central government declines relentlessly,
we have to seek alternative sources of
income. We are therefore going to have
to be resourceful in seeking ways to fund
our ambitious plans for the future, and to
continue to attract the best students to study
here.
What is the money spent on? How do I find out more?
The priorities for this ongoing Fund will Keep reading Barefacts
be scholarships and grants to help students Have a look at the Alumni & Development
who, through no fault of their own, have Office website – www.surrey.ac.uk/alumni
financial difficulties. A proportion of the Look out for posters about working on the
Fund will also be used to improve the telephone campaign around campus
learning experience of every student through For more information email Amintha
the library and the enhancement of facilities Buckland at a.buckland@surrey.ac.uk
on campus.
Is it successful?
The first donations for the Annual Fund were
received in June. To date, we have donations
from the UK and from as far afield as China
and Canada. We are also delighted that
Penelope Keith OBE, actress, former High
Sheriff of Surrey and an Honorary Graduate
of the University of Surrey, has agreed to be
the Patron of the Fund.
How can you help?
Remember, students will benefit from this
Fund! As part of the programme, we will
run a telephone campaign for the month of
November in which current students will
contact graduates in their own discipline.
We will recruit and employ a team of 40
students to call our alumni and discuss the
new opportunities that the Fund offers. This
is not only an ideal opportunity for students All final year students were asked to give the Surrey
to earn money before Christmas, but also the Alumni Society their email address so that we can
perfect chance to help promote the Annual stay in contact with them after graduation. The
winner of the final year email prize draw was Lianne
Fund. Davis, a 2003, SBLS graduate.

There’s no time like the Present

of talks by careers staff and invited speakers
taking place throughout the semester. You
could come along to a seminar to sharpen up
your interview technique or you could try a
practice aptitude test.
How can I find out more?
We produce a Careers Service Guide which
will tell what’s going on during the year.
Every final year student should have their
own copy in their departmental pigeon-hole.
If it’s not there, try your departmental office
first and then the Careers Service. We have
loads of spare copies for students who are
new to Surrey as well.
Where is the Careers Service?
In case you haven’t visited us before, we
live next to the Accommodation Office in
the Philip Marchant Building. We are open
between 9am and 12.30pm and between
1.30pm and 5.30pm though we close at 5pm
on Fridays and during vacations.
Is it OK to just to drop in?
Of course - you don’t even have to talk to
anyone but we are there to help if you need
us. The first thing you will see when you
walk in are a series of files marked “Your
degree….. What next? A browse through
the one for your degree will give you ideas
about what to do when you leave. If you’d
like to speak to a careers adviser there is
often someone available to deal with a short
query and if you’d like a longer chat then we
can easily arrange a suitable time for you.
Cathryn Arrowsmith of the Careers Service explains more about their weekly careers presentations
I hope by now you have received your copy
of “Help and advice for your future career”
and so perhaps are wondering, what can the
Careers Service do? Well, one thing we do
is arrange for you to meet employers.
Getting “that job” is about active
engagement in a two way process. You
need to find out as much as you can about
a prospective employer, just as they will
want to find out about you. At the end of
the day both parties take something on trust
and draw inferences, but employers seek
to minimise this risk by maximising their
knowledge about you. You will find them
very thorough, using written applications,
aptitude tests and assessment centres as well
as interviews to find information. Take steps
to even the score.
How to find an employer? Your first step
will inevitably be, find the vacancy, but then
the work begins. Most employers have a
website. Go to it. Do you feel encouraged?
If you are still interested you are likely to
have questions and if an employer is visiting
you have a ready made opportunity to get the
answers you need, direct. Furthermore it is
not unusual for representatives to divulge
information on these occasions which is not
available from any other source. This may
be a deliberate policy, because they want
later to be able to track your commitment to
securing a job with them or it may be as a
result of an answer to a question or a casual
aside to an image on a screen.
So a presentation is a research tool, but it is
also a lot more. And I ’m not referring to the
free drinks and food, which are sometimes
provided! If you were to attend a lot of
presentations, as I do , you would be struck
by how reflective they are of a company and
its’ ethos. They give you a chance to get
a feel for what your working life might be
like. There is usually an opportunity to chat
informally to the company representatives,
who are often a mixture of recent recruits
and more senior managers. You will be
able to decide whether you would like these
people as colleagues, plus you may get tips
on do’s and don’ts at interview.
We are repeatedly told we live in a
knowledge-based economy, so information
has the power to impress and will make
you stand out from the crowd! But a final
advantage you might gain from going to a
presentation is confidence. If you have
struck up a relationship with an employer
on your own territory, you may find an
interview less daunting. Being relaxed
and confident will help you on the road to
success.
Details of the presentations this semester
can be found in “Help and advice for
your future career”, on our website -
portal.surrey.ac.uk/careers or you can email
me c.arrowsmith@surrey.ac.uk. You can
also find them in barefacts each week.
Coming Up in Week 2 at
the Careers Service
Chosing a Career
MONDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER 2003
1–1.45 pm | LTF
Dr Russ Clark, Head of the Careers
Service, will suggest a number of ways
to help you to make a good career choice.
He will include examples of careers open
to graduates who want to consider jobs
unrelated to their degrees.
The Diplomatic Service
TUESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER 2003
6.15pm | LTF
Jon Benjamin, a Surrey graduate, will talk
about careers in the Diplomatic Service,
including tips on how to get in (and get
on) as well as telling anecdotes from his
own career.
11 September 2003 UNION FEATURE - RAG 11

RAG - Raising and Giving

As the University semester begins, RAG
Chairperson Zoe Kilb explains just exactly what
RAG is and why it really is worth getting involved
Calling all 2nd and final year students!
Looking for something fun and fulfilling to
fill up the year? Need something to put on
your CV? Want to have a last bit of student-
fuelled fun before leaving University? Want
something more than your degree?
THEN JOIN RAG
What?
RAG stands for Raising and Giving, and the
RAG Society aims to raise as much money
as possible for loads of different charities
and good causes, whilst having as much fun
as possible.
3. Send us an email rag@ussu.co.uk
4. Just turn up at any of our events – you’ll
always be welcome!
To find out more visit www.ussu.co.uk/rag
Look out in future editions of Barefacts
for details of our up and coming events.
photograph by chris hunter
Last academic year RAG raised nearly £8967.71
for Charity! Here’s where the money went to:
Breakthrough Breast Cancer - £2508.99
Funding research into the causes and the cure of Breast Cancer.
Meningitis Research Foundation - £2262.91
Fighting death and disability from meningitis and septicaemia through
research, and supporting people affected by these diseases.
RNIB (The Royal National Institute for the Blind)- £1,000
Providing support and services for Blind and Partially Sighted people in the
UK as well as campaigning and raising awareness of issues affecting these
people.
Riding for the Disabled Association – Brockenhurst Branch
- £1,000
Giving disabled people the opportunity to get to know horses and ponies and
ride them, as well as helping to raise their confidence and self esteem.

Why?
Disability Challengers - £1,000
There are many great reasons to join RAG
Providing play, art, drama and music activities for disabled children and
here are just a few of them:
young people in Surrey.
Voluntary Work looks great on your CV
Great new friends and some excellent
NACC (The National Association for Colitis and Crohn’s disease)
memories - £1,000
The opportunity to learn new skills including Helping people in the UK who suffer from Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn’s
teamwork, and event organisation Disease (two forms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome).
The opportunity to learn about Charities and
the Law Help the Aged - £195.81
You get to do something for a good cause Working to combat poverty, reduce isolation, defeat ageism and challenge
and feel great about yourself poor standards in care for elderly people in the UK.
You get to travel around the UK for free!
(This term alone RAG are travelling to Huge well done to the RAG Committee, especially Catherine Marshall
Windsor, Birmingham and Manchester) last year’s Chairperson, a massive thank you to everyone who took
It’s lots of fun! part in last year’s events and a humungous thank you to everyone who
donated!
When?
RAG events take place all around the year,
Last year’s Victorian RAG Raid in Guildford High Street
with the highlight being RAG week. This is
a whole week dedicated to RAG which takes
place in the second semester.

How?
We raise money in a variety of ways
including street collections, sponsored
sporting events, pub-crawls, quizzes
and more! Our first event will be a street
collection in aid of Breast Cancer Campaign
in Guildford Town Centre on Saturday 4th
October.

Get involved!
Second and final years it’s not too late to get
involved! It’s never too late to join RAG.
Whether you want to come along to every
weekly meeting and get yourself on the
committee or you just want to come along to
one collection, you’re welcome!!

There are four easy ways you can get

involved!
1. Come along to our next meeting: Tuesday
16th Sept 6pm TB 6.
2. Come and visit us at our Freshers Fayre
Stand on Wednesday 23rd September.
 LITERATURE FESTIVAL FEVER
Literature Editor Jennifer Matt Badcock takes a trip
Walker wonders what’s to Glastonbury festival,
more important in a good whilst Andrew Malek
book - a good story or a brings us some of the
deep meaning? delights of Reading 2003

Terminator 3 - Fantasy or Reality?

Chris Ward takes a trip to the Odeon, and is pleasantly surprised by the third installment of the Terminator trilogy

It would be interesting to see how the script
for this film developed. Imagine a board
meeting of executives, discussing all the
effects and events that could unfold. One
of them suddenly stands up, silences the
rest, and says “look, trilogies always tend
to push it. If we don’t take the piss out of
this film, then everyone else will”. And thus
Terminator 3 is born, opening with the usual
format. A terminator is sent back in time
to kill John Connor (the kid from T2) and
all his future leaders in the resistance. In
order to try and stop this happening, another
Terminator (reprogrammed to do good)
is sent back to protect two in particular
– John Connor (Nick Stahl) and his future
lieutenant in the resistance, Kate Miller
(Claire Danes).
A comical entrance from Arnold
Schwarzenegger sees him entering a
strip club to find clothing and a mode of
transport. After acquiring his clothes from
an overly-camp male stripper (and finding
that the “Elton John” sunglasses aren’t
quite his style), he proceeds to complete
his mission to protect Connor and Miller.
Kristanna Loken puts up an excellent
performance as the Terminator sent to kill
the future leaders of the resistance. With
her stern facial expression and piercing
“I’m constantly pissed off” eyes, she
succeeds in scaring the pants off the male
audience.
Perhaps the scariest thing about the entire
film is the utter accuracy of the content.
The two Terminators are science-fiction,
and are merely speculation about what
cybernetic beings may be in the future.
But the concept of intelligent systems
is very much alive, and the gap between
now and the time we do start to rely on
them to co-ordinate large tasks is slowly
closing. Terminator 3 is a proud attempt
at a second prequel, and the one-liners
and odd humorous gags help to discard
the cheesy side of the storyline and make
the film one to remember.

M.A.S.H. (1969) – Humour In The Face Of War

Film Editor Neil Boulton takes us down memory lane with a visit to that classic of classics, M.A.S.H.
Director: Robert Altman
Starring: Donald Sutherlan, Elliot Gould
The (Anti)war film M.A.S.H. concerns the
adventures of a pair of rebellious surgeons
in the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical
Hospital, who try to remain sane in the face
of the carnage of the Korean war going on
around them. But for the two surgeons, with
the informal tags of Hawkeye and Trapper
remaining sane involves a fair dose of
madness. The view and lifestyle is shared by
their colleagues and most of their superiors,
with the only folk objecting to the medical
team’s efforts to lead some kind of normal
life are the regular army officers on the
outside and newly commissioned to their
unit. Drink, debauchery and golf help them
deal with fixing soldiers from the field and
the rampage of army bureaucracy.
When this fictitious account of war on
the front lines was released 30 years ago it
received critical and commercial acclaim,
from five nominations it successfully
scooped itself an Oscar for it’s screenplay (It
was nominated for best picture). Nowadays
the film remains popular with a cult status,
Classic of the Week
mainly due to the film’s unique feel and
dark subversive nature. However the fact it
spawned a long running Sit-com (The Sit-
com was much lighter in tone and featured
different actors in roles from the film) can’t
have damaged the film’s
standing against the
test of time. Due to it’s
low budget the film has
a strong documentary
essence to it, this works well in
it’s favour and the technique was
new angle at the time, helping
to highlight the horrors amongst
the humour. The cast were all
relatively unknown, for many it
was their first film, in addition it
was one of the first works of now
renowned director Robert Altman
and it’s success helped launch the
careers of Donald Sutherland and
Elliot Gould (Hawkeye and Trapper
respectively). While it’s low budget
may have helped maintain realism it
also meant Altman could make the
film he wanted as he operated
under 20th century Fox’s radar so
that studio bosses wouldn’t interfere with
his film.
Along with its anti-establishment leanings
there are also accounts of blasphemy and
indications of the doctors strong moral
stance, their focus as
doctors rather than
soldiers, distancing
themselves from the
army and acting as
conscientious objectors there to help
people. The film doesn’t appear to
have much symbolism but parallels the
Vietnam war (The filmmakers removed
as many references to fact the film took
place in the Korean war as possible)
and the inter-company football match
held in the film seems to work well as
an analogy for war itself.
The picture may not be to everyone’s
taste, as mentioned earlier, the
humour is very dark and at times you
might be able to casually mistake
it for a war time documentary.
An excellent turn is put in by
the whole cast, especially by
the two leads Sutherland and
Gould, who front the proceedings with an
amusing dead pan yet care-free demeanour.
Altman’s style of shooting is also worthy
of praise, using zoom lenses to get shots
of actors whilst they’re in the thick of
things. This came about from the film’s
very improvisational shoot where actors
were often filmed without knowledge of the
camera’s whereabouts. The pace of the film
is more tortoise than hare, this in addition to
it’s loose structure and ambling plot means
you probably can’t just randomly pick it up
and watch, the right frame of mind may be
in order. But if you want to watch something
humorous in the face of adversity, yet real,
then I highly recommend you watch this.
Theme War, Comedy
Rating 15
Running
Time 111 minutes
Watch Black Comedy
Vietnam-era war films
this if
A darker version of
you like Sgt Bilko
Literature
11 September 2003
A Good Story or a Deep Meaning?
War and Peace? Harry Potter? Literature Editor Jennifer Walker
takes a look at what really defines a literary classic.
What would you define as a good book? One which tells
a tale that gets you so engrossed in it such that you cannot
put it down, or one which is has something to say about
humanity and the nature of the world? Most people will
answer yes to the latter if they were asked what makes good
literature; however, say you had to choose between “War
and Peace” and “Harry Potter”? Sales figures suggest that a
captivating story which has little or no underlying meaning
tends to be the more popular choice. This poses another
question then; are people still interested in “true” literature?
Personally I boycotted Harry Potter and other modern
bestsellers because they did not have anything to say (plus
sometimes I can be a literary snob), but after the torture that
was James Joyce, I caved in to modern bestsellers when I
was given an Anne Rice book at Christmas. And although
it was considerably longer than the former, I could not put
it down and finished it within a series of days. But would I
say her book was a classic? They certainly have cult status,
yet I doubt they will be taught to future GCSE students.
Don’t get me wrong, I found a lot of meaning and
philosophy behind “A portrait of a young man as
an artist”, but that does not mean I was not bored
to death!
However there are good classics out there that
will grip the reader as well as having something
to say; for example, “Picture of Dorian Gray” by
Oscar Wilde (but who does not like Oscar Wilde?) and
Homer’s “The Oddysey” (which is debatable though,
but also depends on the translation of the text). Maybe
the fact that there is a significant distinction between
“classic” literature and modern are to do with the
development of human communication. Linguistics
have developed over time, as have writing styles;
so perhaps the modern writer has just got better at
writing a story that will interest the modern reader.
As people, us modernists are rather impatient and do
not really “like” to think too much (true, this seems like
a stereotype but if you compare ourselves to the 18th
century reader we are), much to the fault of modern TV and
cinema. We want our stories “WHAM BANG SLAM”, full
of action and adventure and most importantly at a really
fast pace.
Delusions of Adequacy.
by Katy Saunders
I stumblingly believe I am worthwhile
But know that I am not.
In the violent misgivings of hatred
I lie confused and broken -
Like a vase thrown in a heated rage -
Broken and forgotten and never again perfect.
LITERATURE
Psychoanalysis in literature has also decreased in
popularity as well. This can be deduced from the fact that
in the modern age the state of the world is so depressing!
It depresses us to analyse too much, so we choose to forget
about it. We turn to film, TV and books for escapism, so
one does not want to read about the state of the world and
the disturbing thing that is human nature. The public want
to be entertained! So instead of a method of education
and a way to learn about the nature of the world, literature
has become a form of entertainment. But maybe we do
not need to learn about the world from a book? With kids
learning to be streetwise from an early age, by the time
we can appreciate the classics, they have nothing new to
offer us. So at the end of the day, this fallacious dichotomy
of “good” versus “popular” literature depends on the time
and what the society wants from it. For the modern day
generation that factor is entertainment value.
I am the world to one:
All things dark and beautiful come from me.
Lacking the control I so desire,
Unable to stop the torrid rains from coming,
Always coming to wash away pain and hate and sin
The sin we are all guilty of.
I am the world. I am the truth.
I am the light. We are all borne of light,
And yet so many shelter in the comfort
That the darkness can bring.
Cover me in a shroud darkness and peace
Never let me go. I am not worthy.
15
Interview with
the Vampire
- Anne Rice -
“Interview with the Vampire” is the first of many books
in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, made famous by
the film in 1994 (starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise). Anne
Rice’s books have been growing in popularity ever since,
and I can see why.
The book starts off with Louis, a vampire, telling his story
of his life to a young reporter. In 1791, just outside of New
Orleans, he was made into a vampire by the alluring and
evil Lestat, yet his compassion could not stop Louis feeling
a tremendous disgust for feeding. Yet things change when
Claudia, an orphaned child is made into their vampire
daughter. Eventually Louis and Claudia break free from
Lestat and travel in search of others of their kind; a journey
which only ends in tragedy.
The story dwells on the conflict between his feelings
for his victims and his need for blood (and the guilt that
inevitably brings), and his love, hatred and passion for
his fellow vampires, Lestat, Claudia and Armand. There
is such a seductive beauty, and horror in all her
characters that you are moved by the events that
occur in the book; the tragedy of Claudia’s eternal
childhood and her pained desire to be a woman
gives a feeling of depth into the book along with
the passion and pain of Louis and the frivolous
selfishness of Lestat. Anne Rice creates an
alternative universe in which one is pulled down into;
her descriptions of 18th century New Orleans
and 19th century Europe are so vivid and
fascinating, not allowing any moment for the
reader to be bored. Forget the conventional
image of the hammer horror vampires with no
souls or reflection who are repelled by crucifixes and
garlic; the vampires of Anne Rice are disturbingly human.
It is a book that is beautifully described and sensually
written but be wary of the curse of Anne Rice, for one is
never enough. After the first taste you will feel compelled
to devour her books, every last one.
Jennifer Walker | Literature Editor
Theatre Section
Watch out for the theatre section in the
coming week’s barefacts, where Theatre
Editor Daisy Clay will be introducing some
of the hidden theatrical gems from in and
around Guildford as well as reviewing
plays from Guildford’s very own Yvonne
Arnaud Theatre and interviewing some of
the hottest stars around.
16 MUSIC 11 September 2003

Dashboard Confessional performing live

singles
This
week’s
music is
reviewed
by one of
barefacts’ new
Music Editors, Matt
Badcock. If you want
to become part of the
Music Team, then keep
an eye open in barefacts for
details of the first Music Team
meeting of the year in a few
weeks time.
THE WISDOM OF HARRY
CRASH HELMET
Matador Records
Mellow, Crash Helmet off the
proceeding album Torch Division
uses twinkle guitars and a soft
voice complementing the low
tempo and eloquent lyrics.
Vocals provided by Pete Astor
float away, carried off just by
their innocent sound and obvious
underlying talent at what they do.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Guy Garvey of Elbow
BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB
TAKE THEN ON, ON YOUR OWN
Virgin
After the successful self titled debut album BRMC release their
second album Take Then On, On Your Own. The leather jacket
wearers have oozes of style and rock with their drowning bass
THE KEYS
LOVE YOUR SONS & DAUGHTERS Music Ratings
Too Pure
Retro riffs open, creating pure
rock n roll seen recently by the outstanding
likes of BRMC and the Strokes,
but The Keys add Beach Boys
harmonies in stylish Love Your
Sons & Daughters. Definitely
excellent
in the crop of new talent and
including the obligatory The
good
before their name have all the
making of a top band but must
find even stronger songs. With
average
this early glimpse and the up
coming release of self-titled
debut LP theirs so no doubt poor
they can unlock The Key to
success.
LONGVIEW
MERCURY
14th Floor Records
Debut release from Manchester
based Longview brings early
comparisons to the likes of The
Doves and Elbow. Delicate,
expressive rock binds the album
together with the immaculate
Further breezing along that
initially signalled Longview’s
arrival on the scene with this
piece of fantastic, eloquent
rock. New single, Can’t Explain
carries on the mellow tones with
descriptive lyrics delivered by
the succulent ambience of Mc
Vey’s vocals. Not just content
at the laid back emotional tracks
When You Sleep sees a faster
tempo with Longview able to
take the perfect elements and
execute it wonderfully. Mercury
contains beautiful melodies,
broody vocals and catchy lyrics
that make Longview accessible
THE RAPTURE
HOUSE OF JEALOUS LOVERS
Mercury Records
The Rapture have caused
somewhat of a storm as one of
the most exciting new bands
around, with The House Of
Jealous Lovers illustrating this
with their fantastically fresh
punk-house-funk sound. Lively
disco beats accompany guitars
while rip soaring punk vocals
make The Rapture essential
listening.
ELBOW
CAST OF THOUSANDS
V2 Music
Following the acclaimed 2001
debut album Asleep In The
Back, Elbow aim to recreate and
build on this success. An un-
accomplishable challenge, not
for these lads from Manchester
who have had more knock
backs than the applicants of pop
idol, defying the odds with this
skilfully crafted album showing
their Mercury prize nominated
debut album was no fluke. Guy
Garvey’s vocals hit chilling
point, delivering the lyrics to
excellent single Not A Job with
livelier melodies combined
with powerful chorus producing
a quiet beautiful blend of
emotional rock and moving song
writing. From the descriptive
Ribcage to the brooding
epic Grace Under Pressure
seeing the Glastonbury crowd
‘singing We Believe In Love,
So Fuck You’ endorses Cast Of
Thousands as a truly exceptional
album. As the top albums of
2003 are put together at the
end of the year expect to see
Elbow figuring heavily with its
moody and atmospheric sound
converting even the most sceptic
music cynosure to sample the
wonderful delights of Elbow.
DASHBOARD
CONFESSIONAL
A MARK A MISSION A BRAND A
SCAR | Vagrant
American soft rockers,
Dashboard Confessional
pack in loads of heartfelt
lyrics with inoffensive
accompaniment. The entire
album includes one above
average track after another,
with the catchy tunes and
effective production delivering
a pristine LP, too perfect?
Well it just about managers
to maintain some spontaneity
with Chris Carrabba’s charmed
vocals. Many of a story is told
including Hand Down where
Chris describes of his joy and
happiness the sort of mushy
thing that would be played
on the likes of an American
Pie soundtrack. Not taking
anything away from A Mark
A Mission A Brand A Scare
is a good album within its
young American soft-
rock genre but is less
innovating than
other current
releases.

albums
to all with this all-round gem.
electrifying each track. First single off the album Stop, has it all
rock n roll riffs tearing through the track with bags of attitude from
beginning to end. Trade mark guitars and echo vocals are the essence
of BRMC stamping their unrivalled style throughout the album. The
energetic Six Barrel Shotgun carries on the vibe at a lashing pace
with rapid vocals. The Black Rebel Motorcycle club have taken on
the world and succeeded with their second album firmly cementing
BRMC unequivocally relevant and necessary.
11 September 2003
september
gigs
11th Har Mar
Superstar - Portsmouth
Wedgewood Rooms
12th James Taylor Quartet - Mean
Fiddler
14th The Rolling Stones - Wembley Arena
18th Ladytron - London Astoria
19 Rancid - Brixton Carling Academy
th
22 Fun Lovin’ Criminals - Guilford Civic
nd
23rd Big Brovaz - Carling Academy
25th 50 Cent - Wembley Arena
27th Cooper Temple Clause - Carling Academy
30th Mark Owen - Carling Academy
Robbie
Williams
Live at Knebworth
Music Editor Jon Allen gives his take on Robbie’s live performance at Knebworth in August
I doubt that many of you would have failed to notice
that our Robbie was putting on some kind of a show
this summer. For those of you fortunate enough to
have avoided the hype, including ridiculous newspaper
articles about how crap everything was, here’s a quick
refresher: Somewhere close to 370,000 people crammed
into Knebworth over 3 days to see Robbie Williams,
supported each time by The Darkness, Kelly Osbourne,
Ash and Moby. I left home at 7a.m. and arrived home at
5a.m. the following morning. I spent 7 and a half hours
standing in a field facing in the same direction because
there was no space to move, let alone sit down, all this
resulting in a rather sunburnt left hand side of my face!
Was it all worth it? Hell yes! Proceedings began at 3:
30p.m. when The Darkness strutted onto the stage. They
played for a measly 25 minutes, 10 of which were spent
jamming through Love On the Rocks With No Ice while
the crowd attempted to copy Justin’s comedy falsetto.
Not a patch on their triumphant display at our very own
Union in May, but it still got the ball rolling. Next up
was Kelly Osbourne, who can’t hold a note to save her
life and sings songs about masturbating. Enough said.
Ash righted Kelly’s wrongs by playing a greatest hits
set, including the superb Kung Fu, and my personal
favourite, A Life Less Ordinary. The latter was greeted
by rapturous, errm, blank faces all around, although the
crowd response was much better to Burn Baby Burn
and Oh Yeah. Ash’s summery pop rock was followed
by Moby’s melodic big-beat eclecticism. This was
where most of the crowd started to take notice of the
MUSIC 17
In this new feature, a classic
album will be reviewed
cla
that has defined an era or has
inspired and changed the way
music is perceived and made, one
ssic
such album is Roni Size Represent’s
New Forms.
Roni Size Represent
New Forms | Talkin’ Loud
Like a bullet from a gun this noise came
albu
from nowhere taking everyone by surprise.
Released in 1997 New Forms tore through
Brit pop rejuvenating the Drum and Base scene
with its fresh and unique blend of insane beats
and catchy loops that blew the critics away. The
m
Guardian at the time said that “ New Forms is to it’s
genre as Bob Marley and The Wailers ‘Catch A Fire’
was to Reggae 25 years ago”. With this praise and the
Want to culmination of Roni Size picking up the Mercury Music
be part Prize for best album beating off Radiohead’s highly rated
OK Computer album, Roni Size was on the up. Masterpiece
of the Barefacts
Music Team? For Brown Paper Bag became a club hit with its unrivalled bass
more details, email Matt rhythms belted out at a supersonic pace. The lush Heroes sees the
at ms01mb@surrey.ac.uk, or tempo drop to reveal the beautiful vocals of Onallee with trade mark
beats kicking in taking it to another level. Delving deeper than the
just turn up to the meeting
in the USSU Media defining singles we find Destination (that’s no album filler) using
Centre at 5.15pm sampled vocals and repeating beats are expertly crafted. New Forms
on Mondays has two key elements that separate it from the rest. It was highly
innovative for its time and secondly was produced to near perfection
incorporating imaginative beats and atmospheric vocals that were to
change and progress the scene to new levels. m.b.
stage, stand out tracks including Honey and the truly Robbie Williams: The so called King of Pop
awesome Bodyrock. Moby did indulge himself with what
he described as his ‘masturbatory guitar solo’ and also
stormed through his version of the Bond theme.
Finally, at 8:30, the opening to Let Me Entertain You
kicked up, and the video screens pulled apart to reveal
Robbie suspended from the ceiling by his feet. The
show was as varied as it gets, ranging from a rocked up
version of Take That’s Back for Good, (featuring Mark
Owen) to the section where Mr Williams magically
transformed into a shite pub singer, backed by Max
Beesley on piano. At points he did seem desperately
in need of attention (“Sing me love, Knebworth” etc.)
and was close to tears when listening to 125,000 people
singing Strong back at him. He took the opportunity to
make jibes at Oasis (strumming the first few chords of
Wonderwall – “The only time you’ll hear this song on a
third night at Knebworth”), Justin Timberlake, Ant and
Dec amongst others. He grabbed a girl from the crowd
and kissed her at length. He gyrated with his troupe of
dancers. He showed the crowd his arse. Oh, and he sang
a few more tunes. Kids rocked and Rock DJ was in a
class of its own. Some of the Escapology album tracks
were disappointing, but Robbie could do no wrong. Over
the 2 hours, he proved that he is without a doubt Britain’s
best showman. He certainly knows how to work a crowd,
even of this immense size. Is this where he peaks? Only
time will tell…
18 FESTIVALS SPECIAL 11 September 2003

Festivals: Glastonbury 2003

One half of Barefacts’ new Music Editorial Team, Matt Badcock visits
Glastonbury Festival, and gives us his take on all the acts, including Electric 6,
a surprisingly impressive David Gray and The Thrills.
Feeder

Friday
More than 120,000 people congregated on Michael Eavis’s
sleepy Somerset farm for one of the world’s greatest festivals.
Hailing an exciting line up that spans over nine stages for
three days it cannot fail to offer something for everyone from
Dance, Jazz and new talent to some of the world best bands.
Glastonbury is unlike any other with a vibe, unrivalled
spirit and atmosphere that makes it unique. The balance
of top acts and diverse culture experienced culminated in
this year’s event selling out in just over a day, boasting the
best line up for years Glastonbury was treated to an action
packed weekend. After sampling the delights of Har Mar
Superstar’s (***) body pumping and flirtatious dancing the
Manumission girls the Other stage was treated to Mercury
Prize nominees Athlete (****). With their attractive rock
pop they stamped some quality on the proceedings with
excellent singles ‘El Salvador’ and ‘Westside’ off the
Ladder’ shone with the wonderful ‘Babylon’ and
‘Please Forgive Me’ showing David Gray is a real
talent. Tonight’s headliner on the Pyramid stage
can only be described as colossus, with over twenty
years in the business and twelve albums under the
belt the legendary R.E.M. (*****) hit the stage to a
huge ovation. Stipe set out his intentions with great
enthusiasm, with a greatest hits album out soon the
hits kept rolling from ‘Losing My Religion’, ‘One
I Love’, to the emotional ‘Everybody Hurts’. A
world class set was performed with energy from
a band who have nothing to prove but proved
it all with Stipe’s trademark lively performance
climaxing with the energetic ‘Its The End Of The ‘Karma Police’ illustrated Radiohead’s peak, seen at their
World As We Know It’ greeted by a roar from the ecstatic last performance in 1997 but what we see before us is a
crowd. more wiser experimental Radiohead and for this have to be
admired. Knowing the ever-popular ‘Creep’ was not coming
saturday out to play the wonderful ‘Fade Out’ more than made up for
its absence as the set came to a fitting close.

sunday
delightful debut album ‘Vehicles & Animals’. The aptly
named Other stage was the scene of pandemonium as
Electric 6 (**) took the stage to perform a set carried by two Saturday saw one of the hottest new bands from the shores
singles ‘Danger High Voltage’ and the fabulous ‘Gay Bar’ of Ireland, The Thrills (****) with their Californian
which sent the fans wild. Next up were those Scottish likely influenced style bringing out the sunshine to the anticipating
lads Idlewild (***) once criticised, as an REM tribute band Other Stage. With the exciting summery sounds from debut The final day (Sunday) saw the thrashing anthems of Feeder
can stand tall after the acclaimed third album ‘The Remote album, ‘So Much For The City’ performed in confident (****) bringing the flocks to the Pyramid stage on the back
Part’. Launching into ‘You Held The World In You’re Arms’ style gleaming singles ‘Big Sur’ of the excellent
then ‘Wooden Ideas’ deserved a greater response than they and ‘Santa Cruz’ hit all the right ‘Comfort In Sound
received. The radio friendly David Gray (*****) loved by notes. The Pyramid stage just Moby: in a space suit? LP’. Feeder plough
couples everywhere for his mushy ballads was the surprise about managed to accommodate through hits ‘Just The
of the festival as my prejudice was crushed by his luscious the twenty-three members of Way I’m Feeling’
vocals creating an exquisite sound. The quality of ‘White the red robed Polyphonic Spree and ‘Buck Rodgers’
(****) unleashing their party vibe to the delight of the
David Gray: radio friendly and talented and over exuberant noise. The child-crowd surfers
gospel choir element and stage in what was an
presence have made the Spree a outstanding set. The
firm favourite with uncontrollable weekends first trip
arm waving and cheerful tunes. into dance tent was
As the sun drew in Glastonbury motivated by the
turned surreal with two giant Roots (***) whose
sunshine’s perched on the front soul hip-hop bought
of the sage surrounded by an a refreshing change
artillery of fur-clad animals. showcasing superb
The arrival of the Flaming single ‘Seed’. The
Lips (****) ensued a tyrant of baldhead maestro
giant balloons as the dynamic that is Moby (***)
Wayne Coyne came to concur was more surprised
Glastonbury with his charisma than most that he
and showmanship, and that he took the traditionally
did. A potential headline acts ‘old legend’ Sunday
themselves the Lip’s showcased the break through album night headline slot. Best known for No.1 album ‘Play’
‘Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots’ with the excellent tracks ‘Porcelain’ and ‘Why Does My Heart Feel So
‘Yoshimi Part 1’ going down a storm. An uncharacteristic Bad’ make up the backbone of the night’s performance.
smiling Tom Yorke peeps into the spotlight to a rapturous Not that long ago Moby was playing raves and releasing
ovation from the eagerly awaiting masses. Showcasing latest house tracks some of which were incorporated, including
album ‘Hail To The Thief’ Radiohead’s (*****) first single club anthem ‘Go’. Bringing the festival to a close, cheeky
off this LP ‘There There’ marked their arrival. The electric Moby played the unwanted Radiohead track ‘Creep’ to the
‘Idioteque’ blasted the pyramid stage into another galaxy delighted crowd rounding off a weekend of fine weather
while ‘No Surprises’ was quiet beautiful. OK computers and even better music.
11 September 2003
Andrew Malek heads to Reading 2003 for a weekend of Rock, Metal and The Darkness...
alien ant farm
An unprecedented one-hour queue for
wristbands on Friday means that hundreds
of 12 year olds in Bowling for Soup t-
shirts miss their heroes. Their parents take
not having to endure the band’s music as
consolation for having to pacify their kids
for the remainder of the day until Linkin
Park take to the stage. Less Than Jake
(*** 1⁄2) look entertaining by comparison,
despite not being a patch on the performance
they delivered 4 years ago. Alien Ant Farm
(****) provide an overflowing tent with their
hilarious brand of pop rock, from ‘Movies’
through to ‘Smooth Criminal’, they have the
crowd in the palm of their hands.
Buck 65 (*****) is definitely on something,
wide-eyed and paranoid, his head dashes
around in confusion as a smoke machine
behind him emits its fog, the dance stage
won’t see a better act all weekend which is
more than can be said about Staind (*).
“Give me a D” – “D!” “Give me an
Arkness” – “ARKNESS!”. It’s band of the
moment, The Darkness (*****). Mixing
AC/DC riffage and Queen harmonies, it’s
hard to believe that they’ve only sprung
from obscurity a month ago. Blackalicious
(*****) certainly impress, with their
old-skool beats coupled with lighting
fast rhymes. ‘Chemical Calisthenics’ is a
science geek hip-hop fan’s paradise, whilst
‘Make You Feel That Way’ chills out the
dance stage as the sunsets. Unfunny and
disappointing, Blink 182 (**) have a nice
stage show, but unfortunately not the tunes
to back it up. They forget that their back
FESTIVALS SPECIAL
catalogue pre-dates ‘Enema of the
State’, ignoring all but ‘Dammit’
from their genre defining album
‘Dude Ranch’. Unfunny and
disappointing are not words that
one would use to describe Sparta
(*** 1⁄2) though… Well, maybe
unfunny, but they pack a serious
punch, picking up where At the
Drive In left off. Linkin Park
(*) end the evening, and get one
star for the amusement of seeing
people respond to their request
for “hardcore Linkin Park fans”
to go crazy.
Six years ago it was pop punk.
Reading
Then it was ska. Then emo. Now
Festival
2003
hardcore seems to be the flavour of the
moment with Funeral for a Friend (****)
veterans King Prawn (**** 1⁄2), Thrice
(****) and Poison the Well
(****) impressing the hardcore
moshers. The Movielife
(***) are disappointing,
though ‘This Time
Next Year’ is a definite
highlight of the day
while The Streets (**)
were a surprise hit last
year, but fail to make the
transition from the dance
tent to the main stage. The
songs sound dull and lifeless,
Skinner’s portrayal of urban life
faded and boring, and his obsession
with starting a “crazy mosh” bizarre.
The biggest disappointment of the day is
Lagwagon (****) not because of the band,
19
but because of the crowd. These metallica - for many the highlight of reading 2003
Fat Wreck superstars seem to have
been forgotten about by the trend-
following audience who inhabited
the stage throughout the day, and
the fact that their sing along parts
are met with a deafening silence
are testament to that. Closing
the stage, Pennywise (*****)
cannot fail, even though they are
competing with AFI (**) over
on the Radio One stage. Even
the cheesiness of thousands of
kids in baggy shorts and t shirts
screaming “Screw the perfect
people, fuck, they all look the
same” cannot detract from the
details). Earlier in the day, the main stage
opened with Sugarcult (***) bringing pop
punk goodness to a hung-over congregation
of early birds. Biffy Clyro (**) will be
remembered as the band who turned their
bass up so loud that it amplified all of our
headaches, though in comparison to the All
American Rejects (No *s) they are god-
like. Unfortunately, the crowd doesn’t care
enough about AAR to bestow upon them the
same fantastic bottling that Good Charlotte
(*) received. Perhaps the organisers will
take this as a message and decide NOT to
book Busted next year.
Hell is for Heroes (***) are an above
average band on a line-up that has so far
yielded very little, and whilst they are
extremely tight, their stage presence detracts
from their overall performance. Surprisingly,
the Radio One stage is relatively empty for
Hot Hot Heat (***), and as soon as they
play ‘No, Not Now’, a steady procession
of the audience heads for the exit. System
of a Down (****) are fantastic, playing
a smattering of tunes from each of their
albums to leave nobody disappointed.
There can only ever be one band of the
weekend, and that is Metallica (*****).
Bar SOAD, the line-up for Sunday had
been rather dire, one wonders if this was
intentional. For two and a half hours the
band belt out epic after epic, culminating
in possibly the best ever effort of bringing
studio effects to a live stage with ‘One’, and
awesome power of anthemic closer ‘Bro the inevitable ‘Enter Sandman’ signalling
Hymn’, which is sung all the way back to the end of Reading 2003.
the campsites.
Derby punks Lightyear must be
commended for attempting Hell is for Heroes
to hold the first show of
their break-up tour in a
gazebo in their campsite
after midnight, even
if it did only last mid
way through second
song ‘Kid Dynamite’
before being broken up
by security. It seemed
that Sunday was the day
for such randomness, as
hundreds of festivalgoers
descended upon the doughnut
van of a vendor who looks like pro wrestler
Hulk Hogan to worship him (see http:
//www.readinghogan.cjb.net/ for more
20 INTERACTIVE 11 September 2003

Word Search bfpub quiz

1
This year barefacts is proud to announce the return of the wordsearch to the Interactive
Page. It’s pretty simple really - all you need to do is see which words you can find hidden
What does VHS stand for?
in the grid below. Answers (still upside down) on the opposite page. This week’s wordsearch

2
appears with thanks to Ben Berryman and Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean.
In Cricket, what does the B stand for in LBW?
Clue :- It’s a bit cheesy....

F X R B A C A E R P H I L L Y
3 Which cartoon character exclaimed, “Drat and double drat”?

E T T A L E C L O D M P I F Z 4 Which two New York boroughs begin with B?

K Y K Q O A A A Q C Q F C X P
5 In which country were the 1990 football world cup finals held?

G
Q
O
S
F
N
D
H
Z
N
T
U
D
A
D
Y
P
T
A
I
Q
B
S
A
O
Z
U
G
X
Y 6 Which island has Needles off its west coast?

B R I E O P U E K U F P S Q M 7 What are the main two ingredients of a Bloody Mary?

H
M
G
M
M
E
G
G
G
R
V
E
F
B
L
S
N
L
I
R
A
A
U
J
N
G
T
E
Y
S 8 The Gobi desert is in which continent?

E B J W O K H N M E T N P C X 9 Who uncrossed their legs to much ado in “Basic Instinct”?

J
V
G
Y
Y
F
D
R
G
U
N
U
I
S
E
W
Z
Q
G
O
T
O
H
Z
H
A
P
U
B
Z
10 Which Devon port has a famous Hoe?

F T K W R A D D E H C A U T R 11 What is the viral disease of rabbits?

P
B
F
J
W
O
F
G
N
G
M
J
J
H
G
F
S
G
T
Z
I
R
L
U
T
X
O
S
N
A 12 How many players are there in a netball team?

M D B K O F V J W V L G H K K 13 Which “ology” is concerned with fossils?

14 Who or what lived in Honalee?

And now for something

15 Apart from skiing, which two sports take place on a piste?

completely different....
16
What can be the name of a hat and a member of a cricket team?

17
All you have to do here
is unscramble each of the What boat is found on the canals of Venice?
words, then take the letters
which appear in the boxes
looking like this
18 Where
W here do Greek Gods live?

... and rearrange them to

make a final word!
19 Which
W hich Russian city used to be called Leningrad?

COTRTAR

PEAH
TOESOCR

BODULE
20 What was Mozart’s middle name?

NEDDIWG NLFIG
Answers to the bf pub quiz, and everything else in the Interactive
NAOBJ RPTENSE section, are on page 21, cunningly hidden upside down at the bot-
tom of the page...

If this has whetted your appetite, then why not pop down to Chan-
nie’s for Chancellor’s Challenge, every Thursday night from
answer: 8.30pm. We’ve got rounds on everything from Sport to Geography,
and it’s a snip at only £1 per person. The winning teams can walk
off with up to £100, but remember - it’s not the winning, it’s the
taking part that counts!
11 September 2003
Sabbatical Officers Ickle Sarah and Funkyberry give a random
slice of life from their humble dwellings within Surrey Court
Wey, Battersea Court Tate, and the Students’ Union...
IT MAY COME as a bit or surprise to some
of you who were around last year that
Rawson’s Creek is still here, but your eyes
are not deceiving you - Chris and I are still
here, heading into our 5th year at UniS, and
still hanging around on campus to bring you
the best, and the worst tales of University
life.
THE summer really began with the end of
an era - our departure from Battersea Court
Rawson, coinciding with its refurbishment.
Alas, the lack of hot water, Legionairre’s
Disease episodes and ants are no more.
Or so I thought. At the
end of May I headed
across campus with I’ve discovered
my 5 car-loads of
belongings, to Surrey that trying
Court Bourne, but to my
horror, discovered none to eat a pink
other than Pharaoh’s
Ants crawling around grapefruit is
my room! The theory
of Brian at Reception
probably not
was that I’d taken than
with me, but I’m going
something one
to subscribe to the
theory that I’m just very
should do in a
unlucky.
THIS summer has been
meeting.
an odd one, not least
because I only had one week of summer
holiday before heading over to the Union and
joining the ranks of the Sabbatical Officers.
It’s been one crazy journey, I’ve met a lot
of very cool people, and travelled around
the country to the likes of Loughborough,
Chichester and London. Whilst up at NUS
Convention in Loughborough our very
own President Pete teamed up with Adam
and Chris, two sabbs from Roehampton
(our federal partner), and during one rather
surreal, yet sober night out, proceeded to
‘initiate everyone into the federation’. This
involved a rather complicated process when
they surrounded someone, spun them round
and then did the ‘federal salute’! The boys
were quite proud of themselves, until the
next day when it turned out everyone who
had been supposedly ‘initiated’ thought they
were completely trolleyed and just messing
around, when all they’d been trying to do
was be good, well behaved sabbaticals and
tell people about the Federal Uni!
SO, back to campus. I moved out of my
summer accommodation to Wey in Surrey
Court a week ago, so I’m keeping my fingers
crossed that the ants haven’t followed me
again! After three days being the only person
on my new 14 room floor, over the weekend
I was invaded (in the nicest possible way)
by around 9 foundation year students.
Hopefully I’ll have finished designing this
‘ere paper soon, so I can actually head home
and meet them properly ... pre-Union drinks
round at Wey 1, guys?!
‘ickle sarah butterworth
LIFESTYLE 21
The Lyrics Quiz
Back again due to popular demand is the barefacts lyrics quiz, which, all going to plan,
will be written each week by you, the readers. This week’s offering is by barefacts’
resident Interactive Section guru, Ben Berryman, ably assisted by Anthony
‘Deano’ Dean. If puzzles are your kind of thing, and you think you can write next week’s
lyrics quiz, then drop an email to barefacts@ussu.co.uk and before you know it - you
BEING ON CAMPUS over the summer is will be a published writer!
an interesting experience, for this is
when whole buildings are consumed by Just figure out the artist and song name that these lyrics are taken from - answers below...
scaffolding and surrounded by endless metal
barriers. Among this summer’s victims were
the library entrance, AC building, and our 1 Now tell me, do ya, do ya have any money?
dear Battersea Court Rawson (after which
this column is named).
2 Let’s go and see the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars.
THINGS always go really well at the start,
and within a few days the buildings are
3 Wherever it may take me I know that life won’t break me.
reduced to architectural skeletons – their 4 I only know what I’ve been working for, another you, so I could love you more.
guts having been ripped out and taken away
in oversized skips. There is then a middle 5 You’re my love, you’re my sweetest thing.
phase where nothing
seems to happen for 6 When the party was nice, the party was jumpin’ (hey, yippie, yi, yo).
a good number of
7 It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.
weeks. During this
time workman seem to
8 I’ve been wrong, I’ve been down, to the bottom of every bottle.
walk around pointing
at things, sit drinking 9 Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
cups of tea, and the
odd banging noise 10 Last night Jackie Chan came round, I played pool with him and we hung out.
can be heard. But of
the three stages, the
final stage is always
the best. As just about
when you think that
the building will never
be finished before
the start of term, the
workmen spring to
life, and within a few days you have a proper
building again! Well that’s meant to happen
This week I am mostly … crossing my fingers and toes, hoping this gets published in
anyway!
barefacts!
HAVING started working in an office I can
now get water from one of those chiller
I’VE ALWAYS WANTED my own column, though I’m pushed to explain why. It’s not like I have
machines. So “great” I think to myself,
a burning message, or indeed any words of wisdom to share with the world at large. I haven’t
“I’ll drink lots of this nice water to become
cracked the meaning of life, or the meaning of anything philosophical come to think of it.
healthy”. But what is the result of drinking
Neither am I too hot on incisive political commentary nor social irony. Perhaps it’s too much
all this water? The result is that the number
Sex and the City… get a column, a life of gallery openings, shoe shopping and girly lunches
of toilet visits during the day has increased
will swiftly follow. Disillusioned? Never! Guys, there’s no need for eye-rolling, breathe a
exponentially, thus my drive to become
sigh of relief, I’m certainly not spilling my views on male behaviour (sorry girls, I’m afraid
healthy is actually having a detrimental
enlightenment eludes me there as well…).
effect on my work. So I have come to the
BUT I’M HERE at last, able to promise only a random assortment of thoughts and opinions that
conclusion that healthy people are inefficient
cross my addled final-year mind over the next two semesters. So let me introduce myself a
office workers!
little. I’m definitely one of God’s more quirky creations, harbouring unhealthy obsessions
AS with all office jobs, you tend to find
with fairy lights, coconut-scented toiletries and lurid nail varnish alongside pathological
yourself in a number of meetings, which
fears of frozen reconstituted potato shapes, forward-facing train seats and bright blue
means I need to keep myself amused
alcoholic drinks. I’ve been called a freak in my time, but I’ll compromise with fruitcake.
somehow. An easy thing to do is to create
AS FOR ANGELIC… hmm… slightly more tricky perhaps. Faced with another academic year,
mini works of art. The aim is to put your
I’m sure I’m not the only student returning after the break resolved to work harder, to set
pen on the page of your notepad, then move
themselves new challenges and to at least try and acknowledge their alcoholic limits. So, full
it around the page, getting in as much of a
of good intentions as I always am in September, here goes. Good luck everyone, who knows
tangle as you can, without the pen lifting off
what the year has in store for us?
the page or crossing what you’ve already
drawn.
Catherine Lee
WHILE this is completely harmless, I have
discovered that trying to eat a pink grapefruit - Ironic 8. Nickelback - How You Remind Me 9. Pink - Family Portrait 10. Ash - Kung Fu
is probably not something one should do in a Favourite Game 5. Gina G - Ooh Aah...Just a Little Bit 6. Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out 7. Alanis Morissette
meeting. For a start you need multiple plates lyrics quiz: 1. Electric Six - Gay Bar 2. Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away 3. Robbie Williams - Angels 4. Cardigans - My
for the peel, you have nowhere to spit the Petersberg 20. Amadeus
pips, the slurping noises are distracting for
14. Puff the magic Dragon 15. Snowboarding and fencing 16. Bowler 17. Gondola 18. Mount Olympus 19. St
7. Vodka & Tomato juice 8. Asia 9. Sharon Stone 10. Plymouth 11. Myxamatosis 12. Seven 13. Palaeontology
other people, and trying to draw mini works bf pub quiz: 1. Video Home System 2. Before 3. Dick Dastardly 4. Bronx, Brooklyn 5. Italy 6. Isle of Wight
of art with sticky dripping hands is difficult! barefacts.
I’ll just stick to eating pens instead! scramble: tractor, heap, wedding, banjo, scooter, double fling, present. final answer is, somewhat predictably,
ricotta, stilton, wensleydale.
wordsearch: brie, caerphilly, cheddar, dolcelatte, emmental, feta, goats, gorgonzola, gouda, jarlsberg, parmesan,
chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter Upside down answers:
22 LIFESTYLE 11 September 2003

Trivial
Pursuits
Is Catherine Lee the only person in the history of student-dom to reach the age of 21 without
tasting a fizzy drink? And does this hold some hidden message about her development during
her formative, impressionable coca cola-free years?
UNIVERSITY HAS NEVER been about simply getting a degree. semester. What began as an innocent evening of video- me, quite frankly, odd, and most certainly not the well-
Without wishing to sound too corny, it is also undoubtedly watching and munchies with a group of close friends, adjusted twentysomething adult my friends had previously
a journey in personal, moral and social development. soon became a much more serious affair, with long- considered me to be.
“Competition for graduate jobs has lasting implications not one of us could With a new semester now underway, I think I’ve pretty
never been more fierce” scream the have foreseen. An innocent, frivolous much sampled everything the fizzy drink world has to offer.
newspapers, and like most students remark on my part was all it took It hasn’t always been easy but I think my
I’m more than aware a good degree to turn the atmosphere from friends would agree, I’m a stronger,
is no longer security enough relaxed and comfortable to more-rounded [not to mention more
in the fickle working world. awkward and tense. The sugar-dependent] individual as a
The fourteen-week summer nature of this remark? result. What doesn’t kill us makes
break is an ideal time to gain That I’d never tried Irn us stronger after all. For the record,
work experience or indulge in Bru. Cut the amicable dandelion and burdock, Irn Bru
some character-building travel. chatter; a stony silence and Tizer proved a disappointment.
Indeed, the media bombard descended on the whole Frightening artificial colours aside,
us with students’ stories of group. Unable to meet my unsuspecting taste buds found
unusual summer experiences at their fixed stares, I could themselves reeling from their
this time of year. Three months feel the colour rising in overpowering cough-medicine-
spent zoo-keeping in Bolivia or my cheeks. Somehow like flavours. Cream soda was way
campaigning for women’s rights I’d committed a heinous too sickly, though I was pleasantly
in Guatemala will guarantee any social faux-pas. After what surprised the more subtle vanilla coke.
student future employment, they seemed an eternity, the Dr. Pepper was like liquid Refreshers,
imply - how else can employers questions came thick and a tad too sugary, but Cherry coke was
be certain a graduate is a well- fast, a torrent of hows, a definite hit, and probably one of the
rounded individual, more than whys, wheres and whens. few I tested that I’ll choose to drink
just a piece of paper? Such Knowing glances were again in the future.
adventurous tales certainly put exchanged as my (what I But enough of my personal fizzy
my summer experience - working now realise to be) pretty drink odyssey. My message is simple:
in the accounts department of a much additive-free childhood don’t overlook the details. However
national supermarket chain - to came under hefty scrutiny. Fifteen trivial something may seem, the fact that
shame. But why should these minutes was all it took to confirm you’re even thinking about it probably means it’s not nearly
stories make me green with their worst suspicions - I was a so frivolous as you first imagined. So go on, make this
envy, make me kick myself that complete fizzy drink novice, familiar year another year to remember and start clocking up those
I had neither the courage nor only with the tastes of lemonade and little extra experiences that will make you stand out as an
the initiative to undertake any coke. But it seems the blame for my individual at the end of your student life.
challenge greater than clearing fizzy drink ignorance could not solely As for me, further quizzing by friends has revealed fizzy
my mounting overdraft? Surely all the fall on my parents’ shoulders. True, I was drinks are only the start. So if you see me loitering in the
little lessons university teaches us along the denied exposure to such sugary delights at home, crisp aisle at the supermarket, or dithering in the chocolate
way play just as important a role in the graduating package. but somehow any curiosity that should have accompanied bar section in One Stop, please cut me some slack. It’s all in
Take for example a moment of enlightenment I had last my adolescent years completely bypassed me. Which made the name of personal, not to mention social, development.

Fabric Club opened nearly 4 years ago in London EC1. Its 3 floors are home to a range of
underground electronic music and it attracts people from across the UK and Europe each weekend.
Fridays are Fabriclive, a weekly exploration around the cutting edges of club music known for
open-minded playlists, electric live performance and as a home to the UKs thriving drum n bass
scene. Fabriclive residents James Lavelle, Ali B and Joe Ransom are joined regularly by guests the
Plump DJs, Scratch Perverts, Aim and Adam Freeland. FABRICLIVE hosts monthly specials from
UNKLE, the Stanton Warriors, Scratch and True Playaz.
Saturdays are Fabric, a showcase for underground DJ talent and accomplished live acts. Operating around house and techno, its playlists are dedicated to fresh, new beats and
are appreciated by a music-loving audience. Residents at fabric are Craig Richards and Terry Francis who are joined by Hipp-E & Halo, DJ Heather, Jon Marsh, Bill Brewster,
Swayzak, Slam, Pure Science and Tom Middleton. Fabric has regular nights from Wiggle, Haywire Sessions, the Amalgamation Of Soundz and Tyrant.
Fabric is offering one lucky barefacts reader a season ticket for their ‘Plump DJs’ Fabriclive and ‘Tyrant’ Fabric nights which will be valid from one year after their 4th
Birthday in October until 5th October 2004. All you need to do to be in with a chance is answer the following question:
What birthday is fabric celebrating in October 2003?
a. 3rd, b. 4th or c. 5th
Email your answers to barefacts@ussu.co.uk by Monday 15th September 2003 and keep an eye out in the next barefacts to see if you’re a winner!
11 September 2003
silly
Stars
the
by ickle sarah and crazy chris
Virgo
You could well
be developing an
irrational fear of irons,
whilst starting to feel
some sort of strange
attraction to the lady
at the launderette. Your phobia will get
in the way of your relationship, and you
will avoid the launderette for a couple of
months with a broken heart and smelly
underwear.
Libra
Doing acrobatics in
the amphitheatre is not
the best way to while
away those spare hours
between lectures. The
big chiefs of the Uni are watching from
their offices.
Scorpio
Your housemates
are beginning to get
suspicious. If you don’t
stop walking around
with an inane grin on
your face, they really won’t believe you
when you tell them you’re ‘just friends’
with your course mate for the millionth
time.
Sagittarius
Never mind, the week’s
almost over. Make sure
you’re in the Union
on Friday as it’ll be an
amazing night to cheer
you up. The bottle bank is the place to be –
and the person behind the bar has a twinkle
in their eye.
Capricorn
Keep an eye out for
that dishy person at
the Union. The stars
predict that you will
have a lucky night with
an Aquarian this week. Destiny says keep
away from strong mixers and alcohol (well,
so does common sense, you’re not going to
pull with puke dripping down your face!).
Aquarius
You’re going to have
an unfortunate drunken
romp with a Capricorn.
Try your best to keep
away from anyone
who studies physics or electronics whilst
drinking alcohol. If that fails, using a false
STARS AND PERSONALS 23
- Personals -
It’s very simple, really. All you need to do is wait for your friends
(or yourself) to do something silly, amusing or just downright
strange, and then find yourself a computer or indeed a scrap of
paper if technology isn’t your thing). barefacts@ussu.co.uk is the
email address, ‘Personals’ is the email subject, and then all you
need to do is sit back and wait for the next issue of barefacts, and
the look of horror on your friends’ faces...
name is best, unless you want be about as
popular on campus as Judas Iscariot at a Come and see Silhouette perform songs cocktails, get a free scoop of puke to
Disciple reunion. from West End Shows in aid of the take home!
Handicapped Children’s Pilgrimmage
Pisces Trust (HCPT) www.uk.geocities.com/ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! X
You slippery fish you! silhouette_ymt - concerts throughout
This week sees you sept in local area Want to be the person who designs this
getting away with all page (and others)? barefacts@ussu.co.uk
sorts of shenanigans. “jesus... give me credit.... i may have been
Try not to be too bad drunk.... but i still have taste” GU2...training in ALL aspects of radio for
though, or somebody will give you a slap EVERYONE!
on the wrist. Here’s a hint – “staff coffee The Dream Team are here. But what
machine” and “crushed pro-plus tablets” about the ‘mind control badges’? You can’t polish a turd!
should not go in the same sentence.
Oi! Beverly..... Who makes a noise like a dolphin when
Aries wahat kinda c**k uses a steering wheel they orgasm?
On Thursday, you will lock? what kinda t**t wears a neckline
have an interesting like that? and what kinda p***k ties You can call me MR SQUIGGLES!
incident with a demin at the d**k? Pikeys 0 - Chops 1
grapefruit in Tesco. You
might want to shop at Scooter is sexy. Oi Pete! Clear our cupboard out!
Sainsbury’s from now on.
Final year? I remember moving in and THEY’RE SLIPPERS!
Taurus getting drunk in my first year...the only
Remember, the walls of thing that’s changed is that now i’m Ugle - one year ago? Crazy stuff.
shower rooms are thin. older!
You’ve started talking You know you’re in the wrong movie
to yourself again and Monday 5.00pm - An appointment has theater when you’re watching a trailer
everyone thinks you’re been made for you to see the doctor for Spy Kids 3....
not alone in there. Leave the door open next about your gas problem, Pan-ous.
time, and maybe they’ll believe you Who could that be, lying on the stairs in
A big shout out to the Wey 1 foundation a pool of his own vomit? Why; it’s Phil
Gemini (and sabbatical) year massif! Brown on GU2!
People are starting to
be suspicious. The I’ve seen the big wide world, please Switch on the interogation light baby,
affair with you and the don’t make me go back there! and punish me! xXx
lecturer you have on
Monday mornings is Bring Back Torquay. S xx Ickle Sarah & Crazy Chris. Anyone would
going to be found out!! Blaming it on your think they were having......
twin may work in the short term, but may Caravan, Slag Heap, Electricity Producing
not be a permanent solution. Windmill, Golf. You must fish, or be fished.
Mike ‘The Pike’ Fisher 1999
Cancer I’m so glad i’ve found someone to perch
Avoid that first double on. Missing you loads, love Betty xxx Looks like the C Man has got a secret
lecture as your professor admirer, betty the bird!! Now who is a
is cottoning on to your Bring back FNOS..... come to think of it, proper pirate!! Pieces of 8!
little secret. Hanging bring back Foam Parties too - back to
around by the lake is the good old days! The Union’s First Lady is Get-Up!
starting to make people suspicious. Leave
the ducks alone, they haven’t done anything “Aaah, you’re talking about me in in the Spank me, I’m a Freshers’ Angel
to you... have they? stars”“Are you a capricorn then?””no, i’m
a dishy bloke!” Thanks for Friday Night - it was good
Leo getting to know your phone better! ;)
This really is going to Welcome to the Univeristy of Surrey.
be a great week for you. Maybe Andy needs a spell checker for Tom, Dick, Julie and Harry
Lectures are going well, his birthday? Are as happy as larry
Life is going well - just As long as stupid people
stay happy! After a Here I come channies, Tuesday Night Don’t throw them out the car
mysterious phone call on Saturday you’ll be Super Shift....................................love it!
walking around with a swing in your step I want to be Mr Potatohead so I can store
– just make sure you mind the gap. Go to Bojanglez and buy 2 Phil Brown things up my arse.
24 SPORT 11 September 2003

Challenge Chops: Gliding
In a barefacts exclusive new feature, Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman, USSU’s new Vice President
Sport spends an afternoon experiencing the thrill of unpowered flight with the Gliding Club
As with a number of my Challenges,
my gliding experience came around in
conjunction with a check-up on the clubs
safety procedures. At least a small amount
of danger is inherent to all sports, especially
so for a sport such as gliding.
Fortunately for those wanting to take to the
skies in what can be thought of as an aircraft
without an engine, you are not expected to
have anything to do with take off or landing.
All beginners go up in a 2 person glider
with an experienced instructor sat behind
them. James and David (the club committee
members accompanying me) introduced me
to my instructor, who in turn, introduced
me to a parachute. I wasn’t entirely sure
if I was pleased or disturbed to be strapped
into a parachute. On the one hand, if you do
have a problem its nice to have a parachute,
but on the other hand, it might indicate that
there is serious risk of having a problem and
needing to use a parachute. I was reassured
that the later was not the case.
I clambered into the front cockpit of the
glider and was talked through the controls.
To steer, you essentially have two controls,
a control column (flight stick) and a pair
of rudder pedals. Obviously for takeoff, I
kept clear of all the controls. The instructor
has a complete set of identical controls and
instruments in the back and could have done
all the flying if I’d wished.
There are a couple of methods for getting
a glider airborne. Either by towing it up
teamsurrey
behind an airplane (very gentle) or by
dragging it up with what is essentially a
huge winch powered by a very powerful ex-
Formula 1 engine. The theory here is your
glider is attached to a winch which pulls you
along very quickly and as you move along
the wings of the glider produce lift and you
rise up. The aero-tow launch is usually used
for student’s first few flights, but I decided
to go for the winch launch. As expected, the
700hp engine gaves a very quick launch and
after a very short initial climb, you start to
climb incredibly steeply. The net result of
this is you get pushed very firmly back and
down into your seat. The 0-60mph time is
about 3 seconds. (Yes - three seconds. Try
that in a car!) and I was at 1’000 feet in less
than a minute. I had been warned that the
winch launch is a quite unfamiliar sensation
for people who hadn’t done a few aerotows
first - this included stories about how a small
number of people squeal on the way up. I’m
glad to say I really enjoyed it!
of a ‘bang’ and we were flying! The view
from over 2000 feet above the ground is
stunning. Not surprisingly, you can see for
miles and the fact you are sat at the front the
cockpit means you have perfect visibility.
After a short time in the air, my instructor
talked me though how to handle the control
column. Quite simply if you move it to the
right, the right wing dips down and you
start moving to the right. I had previously
imagined a glider to be a slow, unresponsive
aircraft but in fact the rate of turning was
surprisingly fast and accurate.
I then took control of the glider. After a
short time getting the glider to fly at the right
angle, I had a go at turning. With a little
initial hesitation about dipping the wings to
the full angle, I got the glider turning to the
right. After a few more turns to either side,
my instructor took back control and went
in search of some thermals of rising air to
prolong our flight time.
After finding some lift, I was introduced
Essentially by using both control systems,
you can turn a glider more efficiently. The
controls work on exactly the same principles
as other aircraft - from fighter jets to airliners
- and hence gliding is a very good way to
start training for all sorts of flying.
After quite a while practising turning, my
instructor took control and brought us in
for the landing. The big difference with
the landing of a glider compared to landing
in an airplane is the visibility. You are not
peering out of a small window, you have full
view of everything infront and to both sides
of you. This made the descent and landing a
great experience.
We are fortunate enough to have our
very own high performance glass fibre 2
seat glider (currently undergoing routine
maintenance) and a range of other gliders
students can hire. Members of the gliding
club can fly any day of the week (weather
permitted) and the club will be making
regular trips to local gliding centers over the
coming weekends to provide beginners with
‘trial flights’. The cost for a first ‘trial flight’
via an Aero-tow launch is approx £35 (for
the daring, a winch launch is much cheaper
but doesn’t get you as high) with prices
falling substantially for full members. More
information about the club can be found
at www.TakeMeGliding.net - and new
members are very welcome.

:
Once we reached the top of the launch. the to the very tricky skill of coordinating
instructor released the winch cable with a bit the control column and the rudder pedals.

Think your sport is physically or

New Sports If you want to take part in a sport the Union doesn’t currently offer, then let us know. We

:
only support clubs we know there is a student demand for, so if we don’t know that you mentally demanding or simply
want to do something else, we can’t help. There has been recent interest in Table Tennis different from all the rest?
Clubs at so we are trying to get a Table Tennis club started up. Due to enquiries, we are also trying
to get Athletics, Tennis, Mountain Biking, Swimming and Windsurfing running again Then why not Challenge Chops
after a period of dormancy. If you want to help run a new or revived club, get in touch to take part in your sport and

USSU with the Sports Office. Some suggestions are Athletics, Cycling, Hang-gliding, Lacrosse,
Orienteering, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball, Wakeboarding and Windsurfing but its entirely
up to you about what you like the look of. sports@surrey.ac.uk
show exactly what is involved.
sports@ussu.co.uk