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In this Easter
issue....

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university application
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trend
p1
Dr Russ on By Ben Miller
discussion
centres A pplications to the University of Surrey
have increased by 11.7%, against a
national decrease of 7.3% the Universities
“This year’s figures represent a continued
increase and for the second year running
p6 & Colleges Admissions Service’s (UCAS) Surrey has seen the largest percentage
undergraduate figures reveals. increase of any university. We are delighted
Surrey’s 11.7% is the largest increase of any with the increase in applications as this
university, excluding further education and reflects the hard work we have put in over
specialist colleges and builds on the 39.9% the last few years.
increase gained in last year’s applications.

p20
New university admissions rules giving
students a narrower range of course choices
have left some universities facing a dramatic
drop in applications for degrees starting in
the autumn, but the University of Surrey
bucked national trends.
Who has been nominated?
This new system means that if there had
Sabbatical election
been the same number of applicants as
candidates
2007 there would have been a 17% decrease
p20-23
in the number of applications across the
board. Therefore in comparison with last
year’s application numbers, Surrey has in
fact increased by 28.7% compared with a
national increase of 10.3%.
The sector had been warned that this could
“Offering a professional training year as
part of the majority of our courses enables
Surrey students to develop both their
academic and practical skills making them
highly sought after by employers and helping
the University to consistently achieve one of
mean a potential drop in applications by
the highest rates of graduate employment,
a sixth. 21 institutions have seen a fall in
which undoubtedly is a deciding factor for
applications in excess of this figure, while
any student looking to apply to Surrey.”
the University of Surrey and 13 other
institutions have run counter to expectations
This year’s strong results continue the strong
and increased applications.
growth in applications which the University
The Vice Chancellor of the University of
has seen.
Surrey, Professor Christopher Snowden
comments:

Chocolate
Surrey dropout rate hits 19%
By Ben Miller
myths busted An £800m drive to reduce the number
p9 of university dropouts has had virtually
no effect, according to a report from the
public accounts committee of MPs. The
SPORTS, proportion of students who fail to complete
SPORTS SPORTS! their degree has remained at 22% for five
p28 years, it reveals.
Universities are getting larger and “can be
impersonal”, and fail to provide individual
tutors to support students through their
degrees, the committee said. Instead of
improving support for students, some
universities are recruiting more students so
that they don’t end up out of pocket when
those who drop out take their funding with
them, it said.
Poorer students, older students, disabled
students and those with families - the “non-
traditional” students the government is keen
to attract - are more likely to drop out.
The committee’s report cites personal
difficulties, dissatisfaction with courses and
financial pressure as reasons why students
drop out. Mental health problems are also a
significant factor, but universities are poor at
keeping records of reasons for leaving.
Figures from the University of Surrey show
the dropout rate to be 19 per cent using the
same statistics the committee used.

editor@bfacts.co.uk Issue 1120 Tuesday 3rd March www.bfacts.co.uk

ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
2 NEWS 3rd March 2008

News In Brief Surrey celebrates National

Champagne goes to the head quicker
Fran Ridout and co-researchers from the University of Surrey found alcohol levels rose far more
quickly in people drinking bubbly champagne compared with those who drank de-fizzed champagne.
Scientists showed the bubbles do get you drunk more quickly. Fran reasoned the carbon dioxide
from the bubbles must accelerate the absorption of alcohol into the body. barefacts tip: stay sober
longer by drinking champagne from a shallow glass than a traditional flute to help the bubbles
dissipate faster.
Science and Engineering Week
By Ben Miller
The University of Surrey announces free lectures to celebrate this
year’s National Science and Engineering Week in March 2008. The
first lecture begins with ‘Nutritional challenges in sport’ by Drs Sue
Lanham-New and Judy Lawrence on Tuesday 11 March, 7.00 p.m.
- 8.00 p.m., School of Management Lecture Theatre.

iFestival
The iFestival 2008 kicked off on February 25 with
the opportunity to celebrate and explore a wealth of
international cultural experiences and events. This week
they include sporting tournaments, Chinese Lion Dance
Performance, Greek Theatre Workshop and Fairtrade
events. The festival culminates in iGala, an evening of
music, dance and drama. iFestival has been made possible
by numerous clubs and societies, student’s taking part
in Evolution, a student social enterprise project, plus
staff and the Students’ Union.
Young athletes working towards the 2012 Olympics must face the
nutritional dilemma of eating for their present and future health.
They must balance meeting the energy needs for training, whilst
maintaining an adequate diet for optimum growth and health.
Pressures around body shape and size make it such that the diet must
be nutrient-dense, whilst convenient and appetising to fit in around
training schedules and competitions. In this talk these issues will be
examined from both a research and practical perspective.

Isolation ordeal gives insight into effects of torture

Professor Ian Robbins from the University of Surrey isolated six volunteers for 48 hours in a
nuclear bunker during a televised experiment to gain insights into the effects of torture.

GUTS marks 25 years of screening for bowel cancer

Guildford Undetected Tumour Screening, better known as GUTS, a pioneering bowel cancer charity, editorial team
celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. The charity provides screening for 20,000 people and
funds research at the University of Surrey into new ways of detecting bowel cancer and improving
1120
EDITOR |CLAIRE WORGAN | EDITOR@BFACTS.CO.UK
treatment.
DEPUTY EDITOR (DESIGN) | POSITION VACANT| ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Have a Brazilian DEPUTY EDITOR (MARKETING) | POSITION VACANT | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Brazil nuts contain Selenium and can cut down the risk NEWS EDITOR| BEN MILLER | bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
of getting cancer according to the University of Surrey’s FOOD EDITOR | VERITY KIRKPATRICK | bf.food@gmail.com
Margaret Rayman. SCIENCE EDITOR | EMMA ROGULSKA | bf.science@gmail.com
FEATURES EDITOR | AMUL GURUNG | bf.features@gmail.com
PG TIPS EDITOR | ALEX ILLSLEY | ai00011@surrey.ac.uk
ARTS EDITOR | JAKE SOUTH | bf.arts@gmail.com
SOCIETIES EDITOR | SIMON MOORE | bf.societies@gmail.com
Environmental concerns prompt rethink on production processes SPORTS EDITOR |DAVID HALLS| bf.sport@gmail.com
Roland Clift, distinguished Professor of Environmental Technology at Surrey, calculated an EU PUZZLELORD | COLIN EVERETT | ma41ce@surrey.ac.uk
target of 15% of biofuels for transport would require more than two thirds of the land under COPY EDITOR |YASMIN DANIEL| ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
cultivation in Europe. COPY EDITOR |JESS BLOOMFIELD| ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
WEBMASTER | JOSH BATES | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
MARKETING MANAGER |POSITION VACANT | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Britain has epidemic of semi-somnia sufferers
If you drag yourself out of bed in the morning and long to use your computer keyboard as a pillow MARKETING CO-ORDINATOR | AARON SALINS | a.salins@surrey.ac.uk
during the day, but still struggle to sleep at night then you could be one of around one of 30 million EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | ALEX COLLINS | ussu.president@surrey.ac.uk
Britons suffering from semi-somnia, a new epidemic identified by Dr Neil Stanley, formerly of the
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey
University of Surrey. Students’ Union Communications Office.

Spanish fruit is greener in winter The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of
A study by the University of Surrey found it is more eco-friendly to import tomatoes and strawberries Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied
from Spain than to grow them here, because, in the absence of the Spanish sun, British farmers who or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand.

grow such fruits have to use heated greenhouses, which emit more greenhouse gases. Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited
Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA

Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit

submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor.

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© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2008

3rd March 2008
Stop, listen &
relax
By Ben Miller
The Mental Health awareness
campaign at Surrey, Know Yourself,
returned for another year. There was
a screening of A Beautiful Mind,
a sharing of secrets and lots to
participate in.
People need a listening ear when
facing studying, workload and life
challenges. One of the most important
things to do if someone is stressed is to
listen and acknowledge the situation,
says Michelle Tytherleigh, a research
fellow at Bath University.
Les McMinn, head of the University
Counselling Centre at Surrey
University and past chair of the Heads
of University Counselling Services,
says you need to ask whether your
colleague wants to talk about it and
then tell them where they can get help,
either within the university or outside.
“Again, you have nothing to lose,” he
says. “At least you have reminded them
Absolutely
Mentor
By Ben Miller
The Educational Liaison Centre at the University of Surrey is celebrating 10 years
of its successful student tutoring and mentoring scheme. The anniversary coincides
with National Volunteering Week which has influenced the lives and educational
opportunities for thousands of pupils in Surrey.
NEWS
of the possibilities there are.”
Dave Berger, past chair of the
Association for University and College
Counselling, says you should treat any
communication sensitively and have
your discussion in a private place.
Holidays are a good way to reduce
stress as a research study from Surrey
University found even the anticipation
of going on a holiday has an impact
upon emotional wellbeing. Those who
were planning a holiday and knew
when they were going were much
happier with their lives as a whole,
compared with those with no holiday
in sight.
The holiday planners had fewer
negative feelings about themselves,
and were happier with their family,
financial and health status. So even just
planning a holiday is good for you.
Since the scheme began
approximately 200 University
students and local 6th formers
volunteer in over 45 schools
and colleges in Guildford and
the surrounding area every year.
Student Tutors assist within
the classroom offering both
academic support and general
assistance.
Sarah Mackintosh, Co-Principal,
Kings College, comments: “The
mentoring scheme offered by
the University of Surrey has
been of enormous benefit to our
students. Growing numbers of
students have been asking for a
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3
Surrey celebrates
Fairtrade Fortnight
with wine and
chocolate
By Ben Miller
The University of Surrey will mark this wherever possible.
year’s Fairtrade Fortnight from Monday Fairtrade products are available in ten
25 February to Sunday 9 March with a outlets across the University. Following
number of events including a Fairtrade an 86% “yes” vote from students, the
wine tasting evening and Fairtrade Students’ Union and University have
chocolate tasting. A variety of Fairtrade both passed a Fairtrade Policy, affirming
wines, kindly donated by The Co- their commitment to Fairtrade.
operative, were available to try for free in Fairtrade is about guaranteeing
Roots February 29. Staff and students disadvantaged producers in the
will be able to try a variety of Fairtrade developing world a fair and stable
chocolates on Tuesday, March 4. price for their products. This not only
This year will be the first in which enables them to cover their costs, but
the University can celebrate Fairtrade also provides them with a sustainable
Fortnight since being awarded Fairtrade livelihood so that they can support their
University status in July 2007. Fairtrade families, send their children to school,
Universities make a commitment to and invest in a better future.
raise awareness of Fairtrade and to buy
and make available Fairtrade products
An evening with
Sir Trevor Brooking
The Allan Wells
Sports Lecture
hosted by TV Commentator
Gary O’Reilly
Thursday 13 March 2008
Drinks Reception 6.15pm
Lecture 7pm
Reception and Lecture
School of Management
University of Surrey
Guildford GU2 7XH
Tickets £7 (concessions £3)
from the University Box Office
(open from 8am – 8pm, Mon-Fri)
T: 01483 686876
E: boxoffice@surrey.ac.uk
www.surrey.ac.uk
Sir Trevor Brooking, Director of Football Development at the Football Association,
and the legendary West Ham and England footballer is the guest speaker for this
year’s Allan Wells lecture on Thursday 13th March 2008. Trev is well known for his
football punditry and runs coaching courses for schoolboys.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
4 NEWS 3rd March 2008

By Ben Miller
Are you PhD for it?
“Think about whether your prospective supervisor seems like the sort of person
“Choosing a supervisor is tricky because you don’t know much about them until who will be there when you need them.”
you start working with them,” says Lewis Wolpert, professor of biology at University While you’re visiting potential supervisors, try to meet some of their current
College London. “Instead, start by choosing a problem that interests you - it’s easier students as well as other colleagues in their group. “I always tell PhD candidates
to do and just as important.” John Cowpe, a second-year PhD student from the to talk to my students,” says Carolyn Stephens, senior lecturer in international
University of Salford, agrees. “To get the most from your supervisor, you have to be environmental health at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
interested in what they do. My supervisor will leap at any chance to discuss - often “They know things about me that I don’t know myself.”
at great length - a topic he’s passionate about. You learn just as much from anecdotal It is vital that you don’t compare yourself with other PhD students, says Jim
chatting as you do from your own research.” Al-Khalili, professor of physics at the University of Surrey. “Students can get
Your supervisor will be a mentor, friend, confidante, adviser and also a voice of frustrated if they feel they are not making progress at the same rate as others, but
reason, so make sure it’s a voice you’ll want to hear. “Over the course of three years, your progress depends on so many factors. Some students publish many papers,
it’s crucial to have someone who can encourage you when your experiments fall others only a few. Some will quickly churn out results while many don’t feel ready to
flat, challenge you when you become cocky and help steer you towards successfully carry out original research.” This should not concern you, says Al-Khalili. “There is
submitting your thesis,” says broadcaster and writer Simon Singh, who did a PhD in no standard formula for how research should be done.”
particle physics at the University of Cambridge. Stephens agrees: “A PhD is an incredibly personal journey. Be prepared for it to
It is essential to find a supervisor you believe in and whose work you find exciting, raise all sorts of personal issues about whether you’re up to it.”
says Susan Greenfield, professor of physiology at the University of Oxford. “You
need to find someone who thinks in the same way that you do.” You’ll see many of
your peers going to the City and into industry, earning much higher salaries than
you, and who also seem to have more time off, says Greenfield, “so it’s vital that you
have a real passion and belief in your work”.
“There are eminent senior academics with considerable experience. Their reputation
and influence can rub off and they can introduce you to other big names, but they
may not be able to give you as much of their time as is desirable,” said David Hand,
professor of mathematics at Imperial College London.
At the other extreme is the junior academic, says Hand. While they have less
experience, they have more time to spend on your project. This is an important
factor to consider, says Vivienne Raper, a recent PhD graduate from the University
of Bristol. “If you’re not at your most motivated, an absent or distant PhD supervisor
can be a recipe for months of procrastination.”
Another option is to choose a supervisor close to retirement, suggests second-year
PhD student Stefan Rohrmoser from the University of Southampton. “They are
more likely to have a relaxed attitude, as they’ve seen it all before. Their students
won’t be running blindfolded into an overly ambitious project. They will be given
interesting work which their supervisor knows is going to provide enough results to
comfortably finish a PhD.”
Once you’ve found a supervisor you’d like to work with, go and meet them,
says Greenfield. “The real issue is to see whether the chemistry is right,” she says.

British unmanned Moon probe wins UK-NASA

By Ben Miller backing
A plan for the first British-led mission to the
Moon won the backing of an Anglo-American space
committee. The £100 million launch would fire three
or four darts carrying measuring instruments into the
surface of the moon from an orbiting satellite. Scientific
data recorded by the darts would be transmitted up to
the satellite and relayed back to Earth.
The working group brings together experts from
America’s NASA and Britain’s space authority, the
British National Space Centre (BNSC).
The proposed missions provide an opportunity to
harness the UK’s world-class expertise in small satellite,
communication and robotic technologies focused on
exploration of the Moon.”
MoonLITE, proposed for launch by 2012, would
be largely built by British firms, with NASA assisting
and providing navigation equipment.
The mission has been devised by a British team
including Surrey Satellite Technology (SSTL), an
offshoot of the University of Surrey which has already
sent 27 satellites into space.
MoonLITE would be able to reach areas of the
moon not accessed by the Apollo launches of the
1960s and 1970s, said SSTL System Engineer Andy
Phipps, a member of the working group.
“The Apollo landers all landed in equatorial
regions on the near side, for safety. With this kind of
mission you can attempt more scientifically interesting
missions,” he said.
Potential targets for the MoonLITE probes include
the Moon’s far side, permanently facing away from
Earth, and its two shadowed polar regions.
A peer review of the scientific research proposed
by the mission will now be conducted, along with a
technical study to examine the costs and infrastructure
required for the launch.

3rd March 2008 COLUMNS
A quick word from your
President......
Election,
Exhibition,
Gala & The
USA.
Well the buzz is here it’s election time! Get ready for the campus to be transformed
into a meld of posters and people campaigning for you to vote for them in the
upcoming sabbatical elections. It is your chance to vote for the new team that
will run the students’ union from July 2008! The national student survey is in it’s
6th week and is progressing well, but we still need to get 20% more final years to
complete the survey to reach our target of 80% and have the best graduation ball
ever, as we speak, Language & Translation Studies, Law, Chemical Sciences, Physics,
Biosciences, Maths, Politics and Music and Sound Recording are all lagging behind,
so make sure you get your friends studying that to fill it in!
The Students’ Union is going to the USA in the middle of March, General
Manager: Bob Anderson, Finance Director: Ian Stephen and I will be attending the
ACUI conference in New Orleans on 15th-19th March. The ACUI or Association
of College Unions International (ACUI) is an organization of approximately
700 college and university student unions. The conference not only allows us the
opportunity to network with over 1000 other members from student unions around
the world, it has a great deal of relevant keynote speakers and educational sessions. In
addition, I will be touring 2 other universities in New Orleans during the week. Bob
and Ian will also be travelling to University of Central Florida, who have an extensive
number of commercial and non commercial activities and then to the University of
South Florida who have completed a long project to build a new 230,000 sq ft $64
million Students’ Union building which will be completed this summer.
3rd March sees the second week of festival, with our Exhibition in Rubix on Monday
3rd, and Gala in the hall on Friday 7th along with a number of other events, all
details on www.ussu.co.uk/ifestival. Finally, next week is your chance to show off
your talent, whatever it may be, if you think you have a special talent, the live show is
on the 5th March in Rubix and there is a great prize on offer for the winner, all the
details are online at www.ussu.co.uk.
My office hours are Monday 3rd: 10-11am, Tuesday 4th: 12-1pm, Thursday 6th:
12-1pm, Monday 10th: 12-1pm, Tuesday 11th: 12-1pm, just pop into the students’
union or email me to book a place ussu.president@surrey.ac.uk.
Alex
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
5
Andy Vales
Random Challenges
“Question: Can an average student make contact with a
world leader in two weeks?
I’ll say from the start that I failed this one. When I began it I did not expect to have my internet
taken away from me for the best part of two weeks and as such my efforts had been hampered as
I was reduced to a few solitary sessions in the library. I think the closest I got in that two weeks
was having a very brief chat with a nonplussed Dom Joly on Facebook. I toyed with the idea of
snail mail, but no-one uses that these days especially world leaders. I still had my telephone but
unfortunately I lost Gordon Brown’s number when my old sim-card broke. All in all, this quest has
been an epic fail.
Instead I thought I’d write about lent. I love lent. I get a real twisted pleasure out of giving stuff up.
It started off innocently when I was about 14 and thought I’d give up both chocolate and sweets.
I thought I was the balls. With each year a few extras are added (usually the previous years loop-
holes) and giving up those original two are pretty much second nature now. This year the list looks
like this:
• Chocolate
• Sweets
• Cakes
• Biscuits
• Alcohol (except with meals at fancy restaurants, to help me enjoy Valentine’s)
• Channies Food (unless order is restricted to one healthy option and nothing else)
• Fizzy Drinks
• Ice Cream
• Pizza
• Chips
• Take-Away
This year I also managed not to fall foul of the first week wobble, a feature known to any experienced
Lent-er. You have a forbidden food item, but not out of greed or weak will, you simply forgot about
Lent and will later whip yourself to compensate. Its only fair. So far the most testing item has been
Channies food, the new menu has all of ONE healthy option in its main meals section. You can
count them/it if you like, it’s the Butternut Squash crumble and no doubt I will be sick of it come
Easter. Admittedly there are still jacket spuds and salads but I’m not about to kid myself that they
count as a meal for a growing lad. Being at university and not having Chef Mum on hand has made
giving up takeaways a little more difficult than usual, but thankfully Uncle Microwave is here to
look after me with beans, soup and leftovers being his speciality.
Alcohol has not been too painful to part with. I’m blessed with the ability to actually talk to people
without seven pints down my throat beforehand. It does mean I could theoretically dance better,
but I daren’t put that to the test. Moreover, I would like my special brain juice AKA Snakebite to
help me feel knowledgeable during Channies Challenge but for once I must live by my moral views
regarding performance enhancing drugs.
This is an ongoing task and I can’t comment on whether I have passed until Easter Sunday. As for
my original challenge I have decided that I will attempt it again with full technical assistance over
Easter, so you’ll have to wait until then to see if us lowly students can bask in the glory of Earths
most powerful.
Answer: Not this time.”
Andy!
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
6 DR RUSS 3rd March 2008

Dr Russ replies... Discussion Groups

Why do employers use discussion groups at selection centres?
Discussion groups provide a quick and easy way to gain information from
candidates which is relevant to a range of jobs. Employers are particularly
interested in assessing your self-confidence, clarity of expression, breadth
and depth of ideas and interpersonal skills from this type of exercise.
So what are they like?
Having watched a number of discussion groups over the years, the main
thing I’ve noticed is that there is no common format. A chairperson might be
appointed or the group left leaderless; a specific topic might be thrown in for
discussion or you might be left to develop something yourselves; sometimes
you are given a brief beforehand, other times you’re not.
How can I improve my performance on the day?
The most important thing is to say something early on. The longer you
leave it, the harder it is to get going. Don’t worry about making a fool of
yourself at this stage, it’s far more important to get used to the sound of
your own voice. You will gain in confidence the more you speak. Second,
if you feel shut out of the discussion at any stage - you can come back in
fairly painlessly either by complimenting someone on a view or an opinion
which they’ve expressed or by asking them to clarify something they’ve said.
You will be given marks for these contributions because they are seen as
supportive and helpful.
What if I’m asked to lead?
If you are chairing the discussion you should aim to: introduce the topic;
set down any guidelines such as encouraging only one person to speak at a
time; curtail overbearing participants whilst involving those on the fringes
of the discussion; and, finally, steer the group towards a point where you
can make a short summary of the discussion. Keep your eye on the clock
because if you over-run, you might be penalised. The discussion might even
be terminated by the examiners before you’ve had a chance to draw it all
together and that would be disastrous.
And if I mess it up?
As with every part of the selection procedure, don’t panic if you think it
hasn’t gone well for you. Candidates are seldom rejected on the results of
just one exercise. What’s more, if you stay calm and can bounce back for the
next test, your positive attitude is certain to impress the examiners and will
often more than compensate for previous disappointments.
Russ Clark
Careers Service

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CREATING ORIGINAL ADVENTURES FOR 18-38’S
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 FOOD FOR THOUGHT 7
Share your recipes with the rest of us! Email the barefacts food editor Verity at bf.food@gmail.com

Eggs at Easter!!
Sweet and sticky pork
Ingredients to serve two:
2 lean boneless pork chops
Scrambled eggs are the perfect brunch. Beat some eggs with splash of 2 tbsp soy sauce
milk, salt and pepper and heat in a saucepan while rapidly stirring. They 1 tbsp dark brown sugar
are great with tomato, bacon, bell pepper, smoked salmon or simply 3 tbsp hoi sin sauce
cheese. Omelettes are also yummy fill them with cheese and ham or 1 tbsp chilli sauce
make a Spanish style version with potato and chorizo. 150g medium egg noodles
50g pineapple cubes
2 tsp olive oil

Carbonara The ultimate indulgent ½ carrot

6 baby corn on the cob
pasta dish to perfect! Here’s
3 spring onions
your editor’s version. ½ yellow pepper

Ingredients to serve two Method:

200g tagliatelle Heat the soy, hoi sin and chilli sauces with the sugar in a small saucepan. Use
2 egg yolks half to coat the chops. Line the grill pan with foil and grill the chops under a
1 tsp butter medium grill for 10 minutes turning occasionally. Meanwhile cook the noodles
2 slices of bacon according to the packet instructions and drain. Stir fry the vegetables with the
1 garlic clove oil for 5 minutes until softened. Add the pineapple and the vegetables to the
4 mushrooms sliced noodles. Serve with the chops drizzle the rest of the sauce over the noodles.
Parsley and thyme
100ml double cream
20g grated parmesan
cheese Vegan Curry To serve one
Inspired by Tracey Plowman 1 tsp mustard seeds
2 tsp olive oil
Mrthod: 2 cloves garlic
Cook the pasta according to the packet instructions. Melt the butter in a 1 small onion
frying pan, add the mushrooms, garlic and bacon and cook till the bacon just 3 tsp garam masala
starts to crisp. Beat the egg yolks with the cream and herbs. Drain the pasta seasoning
leaving 1 tbsp cooking water. Return the pasta to the pan off the heat. Add ½ red pepper cut in to
the eggs and stir for about 5 mins to gently cook the egg. Add the Parmesan chunks
cheese and serve immediately in large bowls. ½ a courgette cut in to
chunks

Speedy Bean
Handful of spinach leaves
2 tsp fresh coriander
What you will need to 200g chopped tomatoes

Wraps make 4 wraps: 50 ml creamed coconut

400g mixed beans 75g wholegrain rice
drained
200g refried beans Method:
½ red onion chopped Cook the rice according to the packet instructions. Heat a large frying pan and
finely dry fry the mustard seeds for 1 minute, then remove. Heat the oil and fry the
2 tsp olive oil onion and garlic until softened. Add the pepper and courgette and fry until
1 tsp chilli powder (to starting to soften. Add the tomatoes, garam masala and toasted mustard seeds
tastes) and simmer for 15 minutes, add the creamed coconut and spinach, heat through
2 tsp paprika and serve with the rice and fresh coriander.
Salad of iceberg lettuce,

Vegetable Patch
cucumber, avocado and
tomato
2 tbsp natural yoghurt
4 tortilla wraps
Vegetables that will brighten up pasta:
Method:
Heat the oil in a large sauce pan and fry the onion for 4 minutes, Olives, tomato, broccoli, mushroom, spinach,
add the beans and spices and heat through for 5 minutes. bell pepper, green beans, spring onion, asparagus,
Meanwhile microwave the wraps between kitchen papers for 1 artichoke, red onion, courgette, aubergine, leek,
minute. Wrap up the beans with the salad and yoghurt and enjoy sugar snap peas.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
8 SCIENCE 3rd March 2008

We are all made of stars

By Sam Brett

To start discussing atoms, I must begin by

taking you to Ancient Greece in about 400BC
to a cheese shop with a guy called Democritus.
He stated, that if you got a block of cheese and
cut it in half several (thousand) times you would
end up with something that can’t be made any
smaller, something indivisible, which he called
the ‘Atom’.If we go back even further, to the beginning of time itself our story of
the atom truly begins. As I’m sure you are taught at school, atoms are made of three
things; protons, neutrons and electrons havingpositive, neutral and negative charges
respectively. Sadly I have totell you your teachers lied a little, the protons and neutrons
are themselves made up of sets of 3 particles called quarks, in this simple case there
are 2 types of quarks (called ‘up’ and ‘down’) which have their own charges these add
up to zero or one. So we’ve gone back to just after the big bang, we missed the start early stars, if the star is particularly heavy, the star will explode into a supernova,
because of a traffic jam on the M25, about a millionth of a millionth of a second shooting all the heavy atoms around. Then to put this on super-fast-forward this
into the life of the universe, we have a lot of heat, and this stuff called ‘quark-gluon repeats and all the heavy atoms begin to group together we get lumps of heavy
plasma’ as well as some other bits and bobs like the three screws you have left after matter, which will eventually form the planets and everything that makes us. So in
building a cupboard from IKEA. At the moment everything is way too hot to stick a romantic way you could say: “We’re all made of Stars”, but I prefer “We’re just
together, like a gas can turn into a liquid if it is cooled. As the universe cools down a left-over spacejunk”. These atoms are of great interest to us because of the energy
bit, these quarks start joining up into their groups of three; some are protons, others stored in each nucleus. In my next article I will discuss how we can utilize this energy
are neutrons. These protons attract the negative electrons that are whizzing about and in Nuclear power and how it compares to ‘Chemical’ power such as coal, oil and
we form the most simple of atoms, Hydrogen (He). The neutrons and protons keep gas. By studying stars we have been able to move energy production towards greener
bumping into each other and they can join up to form the second simplest atom, pastures, which should hopefully continue in the years to come allowing cheap and
Helium(He).It would be nice to say this continues on and on to get heavier atoms clean electricity for homes and businesses across the UK and eventually the world
like oxygen and carbon which are quintessential for life as we know it, but we hit a
bit of a kink in the system, we can only have atoms
of H and He, as the atoms made by combining H
and He are not stable. So all these clouds of gas
begin to attract each other making denser clouds, If you have any submissions or questions you
eventually these compress under gravity so much the need busting ....
heat causes a thermonuclear reaction and we have
our first stars. These stars burn the hydrogen and Please email them to
helium in a fusion reaction and produce the heavier bf.science@gmail.com
elements under the immense pressure created by the
stars gravity. If we fast forward to the deaths of these

When it comes to eating of

chocolate bunnies, it is the ears
that are preferred to be eaten
first by as many as 76% of people.
Random Facts t e x p e nsive eg
gs
the mos was the unique
The world record for One of 2006 a te egg
the rabbit high jump is f f e r in h o c o l
on o ac
1 meter. d S t e l l a Egg - w hich cam
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Dia m o n nd s –
e n w it h diamo 0 price tag.
lad 50,00
Biggest bunny: 26 lbs.! with a £

Eac
mar h day, Chocolate is derived
s fi
bun hmallo ve mill from Cocoa Beans. It
ni w io was Cacao originally, but
prep es are p chicks n became Cocoa as a result
arat r a
ion oduced nd
of misspelling.
for
Eas in
ter.
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 HOAX BUSTER & COMMERCIAL BREAK 9

By Emma Rogulska
Hoax Buster: Chocolate
There are many myths and false facts about chocolate including those about its by the brain during states of emotional euphoria).
production, quality, properties and history. Chocolate is a very popular confectionary Other stimulants present in chocolate include dopamine and serotonin. Both
treat throughout the world, both as a drink and a solid bar. It has been enjoyed as a dopamine and serotonin alleviate pain and promote feelings of happiness. In particular,
mood enhancer and even an aphrodisiac throughout the centuries. Knowing genuine serotonin produces feelings of pleasure in a similar way to sunlight. Chocolate also
facts about your favourite food may enhance your enjoyment of it and also help keep contains theobromine, a stimulant that is said to make a lasting improvement to the
it in tip-top condition. mood. Its presence is one of the causes for chocolate’s mood-elevating effects.
How to Enjoy Your Chocolate Chocolate as an Aphrodisiac
It is thought by some people that chocolate cannot be stored in the fridge; some Chocolate has been purported as an aphrodisiac for centuries. Apparently the Aztecs
thinking that refrigerating chocolate impairs its flavour. However this is not true. first considered chocolate as an aphrodisiac and all foods made with chocolate were
Chocolate is often delicious when slightly chilled and its flavour is not impaired at forbidden to women. However, it is also suggested that the Aztecs and Mayans
all. Factors that can impair the flavour of chocolate include: celebrated the cocoa harvest with wild festivals.
• Heat In 1624 Johan Franciscus Rauch an Austrian professor, tried to ban chocolate from
• Humidity monasteries and urged monks not to drink chocolate as he said it ‘inflamed passions’.
• Air However it has never been proved either way whether chocolate does have aphrodisiac
• Age qualities.
• Fluctuations of temperature It comes as no surprise that chocolate is so widely consumed across the world. It has
If your chocolate faces temperatures above 18°C it is likely to melt. If the chocolate many mood-enhancing and stimulating properties and tastes delicious too. It will
is kept at fluctuating temperatures it can develop creamy white patches. These patches serve as a quick pick-me-up, a mood stimulant, and even a confidence booster.
do not impair the flavour of the chocolate, just its appearance. Both air and humidity
can also affect chocolate, which is why so many chocolate bars are sealed in foil
wrapping.
Interesting Facts Surrounding Chocolate
• More than twice the number of women than men eat chocolate and experience
chocolate cravings. Chocolate craving is an unusual craving, unlike other cravings it
cannot be satisfied by any other sweet food.
• On average, each person in Britain eats roughly 9kg of chocolate per year
(equal to about 3 bars a week).
Chocolate brings instant comfort and acts as a mild anti-depressant by increasing our
serotonin and endorphin levels. Chocolate also contains caffeine, which has a mild
amphetamine effect. It also contains phenylethylamine (PEA), a naturally occurring
amino-acid which is sometimes considered to have aphrodisiacal effects and is even
said to be able to “cure” hangovers. What’s more, eating chocolate can bring on
feelings similar to those which we feel when we are in love (PEA is produced naturally
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
10 FEATURES 3rd March 2008

Sharia Law and Islamic Social

Governance, an Introduction
By Hafiz Tauqeer Ali & Hammad Baig

INTRODUCTION:
The topic of Sharia law (Islamic Law) is being widely
discussed amongst the Britons, especially after the
recent comments of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
The reaction of the population has been somewhat
alarming and confusing perhaps it is so due to the lack
of knowledge in the Sharia Law fundamentals. The
best way to ponder over the topic is to comprehend,
instead of forming ill informed view. Below is an
attempt to generally introduce Sharia Law and the
theology behind this method of social governance.
The best way is to ponder over the title which contains
two main words “Islamic” and “Law”.
The definition of law according to the BBC English
Dictionary is as follows:
“The law is a system of rules that a society or
government develops in order to deal with business
agreements, social relationships and crime”
Hence Islamic law is a system of rules which Islamic
society develops to deal with business agreements,
social relations and crime. It is crystal clear that Allah
(name for God in Islam) is the supreme authority and
Muhammad (PBUH) is His last apostle. Muhammad
(PBUH) demonstrated the Islamic teachings under
God’s Divine Power; hence the source of Islamic
Law is Quran and Sunnah (the life of Muhammad
(PBUH)).
One must understand that Islam is a way of life and
it is in this spirit that it also codifies non-religious
Justice has to be taken both literally and figuratively, a state the position very broadly.
aspects of life. The foundation of these aspects is
man should be honest and straight in all daily matters Many incorrectly point out that Islam does not value
found in the Holy Quran, which forms the basis of the
such as weighing out things which he is selling and woman. The question here is how can Islam support
extended Islamic legal system. The underlying aspect
he should be straight, just and honest in the highest and give direction for social dealings when one among
of Islamic Law is that it is under God’s instructions
dealing, not only with other people, but also with the two is degraded and is given no or little value?
so the element of mercy is dominant in the law as
himself and his obedience to Sharia law. Islam does The very overview of the last sermon of Prophet
the creator loves His creation, which is clear from his
not forbid from earning profits out of just ways and Muhammad (PBUH) stated below would depict the
words:
at the same time it does not allow transgression of real status of women in the Islamic society;
“What can God gain by your punishment fellow human beings:
if you are grateful and you believe”. (Ch: 4 “O people! It is true that you have certain
Verse: 147) “Woe to those, that deal in fraud, those who,
when they have to receive in (by measure) rights with regard to women, but they also
from people, exact full measure. But when have rights over you. Remember that you have
Business Agreements they have to give by measure or weight to to take them as your wives under God’s trust
Many may believe Islam is the religion of worship people, give less than due. Do they not think and with His permission. If they abide by
alone and has nothing to do with business related that they will be called to account”. (Ch: 83 your rights then to them belongs the right to
agreements/relations. This view is incorrect as Islam verse: 1-4). be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your
is the religion of balance. It puts rulings for spiritual women well and be kind to them for they are
needs as well as for non-spiritual or rather worldly your committed helpers and it is your right
Social Relationships: that they do not make friend with any one
needs. It condemns excess as it condemns defect.
One of the most important aspects of living together whom you do not approve as well as never to
The following Quranic Verse may put things in
in an Islamic society is the quality of relationships, be unchaste” (Al-Bukhari).
perspective:
which develop between its different members.
“And the firmament has He raised high and Love, tenderness, care, affection, friendliness and Moreover it was Islam, which condemned the killing
he has set up the balance (of justice). In order consideration should mark every relationship. May of innocent baby-girls, a vicious act in the pre Islamic
you may not transgress (due) balance. So it be that of a relative, neighbour, friend, vendor, society. It is Islam in which the rights of a mother are
establish weight with justice and fall not short customer, businessman, client, landlord or tenant-to three times superior to that of the father
in balance”(Ch: 55 Verse: 7-9).
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 FEATURES 11
because of her sacrifice during and after pregnancy. It
is again in Islam in which the paradise is kept under a
mother’s feet alluding to the fact that one must keep
her happy in all circumstances.
How Islam values Social life is clear from the following
God’s words:
“And remember we took a covenant from the children
of Israel (to this effect) Worship none but God, treat
with kindness with parents and kith and kins, and
orphans and those in need, speak in politeness to the
people, be stead fast in prayers and practice regular
charity and did you turn back, except few among you
and you back slide (even now)”(Ch: 2 verse: 83)
Another fundamental verse, which clearly sets the
standard of dealing and duty of care owed to the
general public, is below.
“One is not true believer until one wishes for one’s
brother what one wishes for oneself ” (Al-Bukhari
and Muslim)
Criminal Law:
In the current scenario of the world, the very mention “If anyone slew a person- unless it be for
of Islamic law brings the thought that it is that It is not the intention here to suggest a legal system
murder or for spreading mischief in the land- to the people of Briton. It is only the intention to
Islam is only about hanging, stoning, execution etc it would be as if he slew the whole people’
and nothing more. The present situation is enough introduce and clarify any negative views surrounding
And if anyone saved a life it would be as if Sharia Law so that correct views may be formed and
evidence for this. Again the lack of knowledge of Islam he saved the life of the whole people”.(Ch:5
itself and its laws has created the situation. The basic now that the topic is being discussed in the society a
Verse:32) more informed discussion may take place. Moreover
principle which is behind the Islamic punishment is
that Islam puts severe punishment not because Islam Islam gives day-to-day guidance for spiritual, mental
and its fellow being wants to rejoice over the criminal Another attack on the Islamic punishment is the and physical dimensions but we must find the sources
but because Islam wants to control the crime rate, so treatment of thieves that is barbaric, the following of these instructions: the Quran and the example of
that the horrible imagining of the punishment keeps Quranic verse may help explain it: these instructions the Life of the Prophet Muhammad
one away from being corrupt. The following Quranic (PBUH) then we may witness the bounties of Islam.
verse quoted in day-to-day life by Muslims and non- “As to the thief, male or female, cut off his
Muslims alike sums up the argument. other hands: A punishment by way of example Hafiz Tauqeer Ali is a second year Ph.D.
“We ordained therein for them: life for life, eye for eye, from God, for their crime: and God is Exalted student at the University of Surrey. His research
is based around adhesives and their implication
nose for nose, ear for ear, tooth for tooth, and wound in Power. But if the thief repents after the
in the aerospace industry. Tauqeer carries
equal for equal. But if any one remits the retaliation crime, and amends his conduct God turns to the title of Hafiz which is bestowed once one
by way of charity, it is an act of atonement for him (or her) in forgiveness; for God is Oft- memorises the Quran cover to cover. You may
himself, and if any one fail to judge by (the light forgiving, Most Merciful”. contact Hafiz Tauqeer Ali at h.ali@surrey.ac.uk.
of) what God has revealed, they are (no better than) (Ch: 5 Verse38-39) Hammad Baig is a 2nd year Law student at the
wrong-doers”. (Ch: 5 verse 48) university and the Vice President of the Pakistan
Furthermore Islam addresses the issue of morality Students Association you may contact him at
in relation to murder and its implications on the hb00013@surrey.ac.uk.
society as a whole.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
12
Puzzlelord has gone a bit
mad on the mazes this
issue.......
Be warned they may send
you barmy like a frog being
chased by a mop
Clues Across:
1) and 5 across. British map-making
organisation. (8, 6)
9) Easy-going and forgiving; capable
of withstanding given treatment or
conditions. (8)
10) A champagne bottle, whose volume
is one-third that of a Rehoboam. (6)
12) and 14 and 27 across. Former
Channel 4 improvisational comedy
show, hosted by Clive Anderson and
often featuring Colin Mochrie, Ryan
Stiles and Greg Proops. (5, 4, 2, 2, 6)
13) In computing, widely-used seven-
bit character encoding system. (5)
PUZZLES 3rd March 2008
1
2
14) See 12 across.
16) Acts in a polite way. (7)
19) Hopkirk’s undeceased partner? (7)
21) Neat; clean-up. (4)
24) Small food particle; one-quarter of
a byte. (5)
25) Axes used by Native Americans. (9)
27) See 12 across.
28) Please turn over state once thought
to cause food poisoning. (Cryptic) (8
29) Fix; cure. (6)
30) The chemical element with the
lowest atomic weight. (8)
Clues Down:
1) The second-largest city in the Canadian province
of Ontario. (6)
2) See 21 down.
3) Concur; consent to something. (5)
4) Criminal; declare someone to be a criminal. (7)
6) Unashamed; not embarrassed. (9)
7) A naïve vac takes eye out and collapses major
blood vessel. (Cryptic) (4, 4)
8) Most delicious. (8)
11) Robert ----: Comedian partnered by David
Mitchell. (4)
15) The right-hand side of a ship when facing
forward. (9)
17) -------- fan: someone who watches sport on
television rather tha attend the events in person. (8)
18) Excessive swelling of an artery. (8)
20) How much stuff an auctioneer has on offer? (4)
21) and 2 down. Actor who portrayed James Bond in
the film that followed “The Living Daylights”. (7, 6)
22) Possessing. (6)
23) To the rear. (6)
26) In The Simpsons, the father of Bart, Lisa and
Maggie. (5)
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 MAZE MAZE MAZE 13

Easter Egg ...

Maze Craze
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
14 PG TIPS 3rd March 2008

Hello – Easter is upon us and this is a time of reflection and

renewal - some of you may be reflecting on how you will
renew yourself once your studies have finished – we have
some details from the careers service on PG workshops that
may help.
Of course there is the chance you may be getting an Easter
egg – and I am quite interested how the Postgrads eat theirs
as I am sure there are more imaginative approaches than my
“whole in one” method. If you have any imaginative thoughts
on how you eat your Easter egg or indeed any other topic
then please drop me a line at ai00011@surrey.ac.uk
Al

As Postgrad’s thoughts may be turning to being a post

postgrad it is worth remembering that the careers
service is on hand to offer advice and assistance with
What’s going on?
CVs and covering letters along other skills to help you On the 14th March there will be a St Patrick’s event
secure that dream job. hosted by the Senate House Social Society, Wates
House Staff Club and the PGA.
There will be karaoke and a disco so get your voice
Dr Who? warmed up and your dancing shoes on!
Calling all Postgrad On the 17th April the Music Society and the PGA will
Researchers - did you be hosting an evening of jazz and fair-trade wine
know that a series of tasting in the Firs room of Wates House.
Careers workshops have
been designed and run Keep your eyes peeled for further details of these
specifically for you? They events. Don’t forget that the PGA have a notice board
in Wates House that will keep you fully informed of
are run by the Careers
Service to help you what’s going on.
find employment upon
completion of your PhD.
Monday 10th March - CVs
Tuesday 11th March - Application forms and covering letters
Monday 31st March - Interview skills
Tuesday 8th April - Other methods of selection

For more information on the workshops and to book a place

go to:
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Skills/pgsdp/pgsdp_careers_service.htm
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 HOROSCOPES 15

Almost Accurate Astrology

Our resident astrologer Ophelia Balls dishes out her last horoscopes of this semester

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Your family is especially important this week (as the mid-semester break
approaches) and might offer more support than you thought you’d be able
to get from them. Open up and see what they say and do -- things can get
better soon! On the other hand, if you have an urge to tell a rude person
what you think of them, don’t suppress it.

Taurus(April 21 - May 20)

See if you can sit down with that class-mate or family member who has been
giving you so much trouble lately. It’s almost certainly a communication
problem -- one that can be solved quickly. Sometimes slowing things down
can be the best solution to all the problems as well.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You’ve got it pretty easy this week! Good energy pulses through your home Scorpio (October 21 - November 20)
or uni and you can surf it to great effect. You may be able to get a few new Your style is perfectly suited to the day’s arguments -- keeping them light
people on your side -- if you want. The opportunities are endless! and fluffy but still serious enough to actually change the way people think.
You may find that one person takes you too seriously. You have a right to
be opinionated about things. But be prepared to learn, too.
Cancer (June 21 - July 20)
All that junk lying around for the past two weeks should be cleaned up. Sagittarius (November 21 - December 20)
Maybe it is time for you to take incentives and do some work. You should Don’t be shy about voicing your opinions -- they are more vibrant and
be nothing but ruthless of getting rid of your old junk. Try to get as much appealing than you may realize. People recognize that you’re in the right
help as you can from your friends and family, it’s a big job! place at the right time. Don’t avoid conflict -- have fun debating people
who think differently than you.

Leo (July 21 - August 20)

You’ve got to deal with some big emotions that aren’t going anywhere any
time soon. The good news is that your mind and heart are both in the
right place for the job. Take a deep breath and get to work! You may not
be getting along with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but the still love and care
about you.
Capricorn ( December 21 - January 20)
Try not to worry too much about whether or not you’re going to make
anyone upset if you’re not up to your usual standards of generosity --
you need to hang on to every cent for the time being. Some great news is
coming that’ll enable you to free up some money in your budget!

Virgo (August 21 - September 20) Aquarius (January 21 - February 20)

Someone who knows you well totally misreads your signals and gets things Try not to let little barriers like thousands of miles of ocean come between
almost exactly backwards. That could take a fair amount of back-and-forth you and the people you care about. The Easter holidays will be great for
to undo, so get started as soon as you realize. Tell strangers to mind their travelling, and you might stumble upon old lost friends. Stop waiting for
own business. Be prepared to repeat yourself, too. other people to follow through on their promises. Carry on alone.

Libra (September 21 - October 20)

Communicating at home could be fraught with peril, as those you are
closest to suddenly become much more difficult to understand. Tread
gently until you figure out what’s going on with them. Friends should give
you advice on personal stuff, not money matters. Go to experts (look for
that email circulating these past couple of weeks!)
Pisces (February 21 - March 20)
Your good mood might make you a bit too susceptible to those who want
to abuse your open spirit, but they can’t take much of value. Try not to shut
down on anyone -- if you can help it! You can’t always pick a path to take
in life -- sometimes, the path has to pick you.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
16 COMMERCIAL BREAK 3rd March 2008

Now stocking hundreds of International foods

from all over the world

INDIAN
CHINESE
CARIBBEAN
ITALIAN &
GREEK
FOODS
....PLUS MANY MORE

Pop in today and see the

wide range of quality foods
in one convenient shop
on campus

Taste the exotic on Campus.

 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 ARTS 17 17

If you have
any wonderful
reviews for our

^
arts section
email

f
bf.arts@gmail.com
Barefacts Review
Students value their opinions and abilities
highly. A fine example of this is to be found
in student media such as television, radio
and of course newspapers. Here students can
enlighten others with their skewed perception
of reality, tepid wit and occasionally coherent
sentences. Barefacts has been the outlet for
budding Piers Morgan wannabes since 1968
and has moved on in leaps and bounds since
its early days. They have colour now. A skim of
Barefacts will tell you that it ticks off all the
boxes: serious stories (written by Ben Miller),
not so serious stories (mostly written by Ben
Miller) and horoscopes. A noble attempt is
made to entice us away from baked beans
and take-away in the food section, while the
sports pages keep students updated on how
the physically superior members of their
university have been faring in their chosen
extra-curricular pursuits.
The real arse-end of this affair is the arts
section (often abbreviated to Barefarts,
in case you hadn’t already thought of it
yourself.) Written by a bunch of anoraks whose
artistic perception equals that of a hung-over
frying-pan. This barely literate collective try
to convince us that their tastes are cutting
edge, well informed and relevant to the
musical landscape. They fail miserably. Also
they can be found using this as a public forum
to vent their puerile japes and facetious in-
jokes; combined with their numerous other
crimes against respectable journalism such
stunts serve only to drag Barefacts good name
through the mud. As a result this rag should
only be used for floor wiping, fly-swatting or
as a disposable umbrella.
Note* Do not take this review seriously !

JJMD/The Clearing and Byron Johnston material as well as a cover of Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Patience’ in a slightly
Live at Strangers On A Train at Fahrenheit 55 stripped down form. However the predominant line of the chorus
20/02/08 caused me to make a wee joke. I didn’t know Axl Rose was a midget
Ignore the year and you’ll see that the doctor, he says he needs (a) little patience/patients. Thankfully
date is a palindrome. However my mind the headliner JJMD was on hand to relieve my
could not be focussed on such trivial companions of my humour. Having got through
things when talent of this standard was to the regional finals of the Live and Unsigned
on show. Strangers On A Train is held competition he was on fine form and had flown
every Wednesday at F55 and is a free in all the way from Australia specifically to play
live music night with music from many tonight’s show (supposedly). Crowds had flocked
different genres. Tonight the headline right up and round the balcony to see him play a
act is local favourite JJMD, who has to tight set with varying degrees of Jazz, rock and
be one of the best singer songwriters in blues. His humble demeanour and endearing
the area. The opening set was provided foot tapping hides a man of immense talent
by the nights host Byron Johnston, who and an already highly credible CV. All his usual
is one of the prominent flamenco artists hits were in place and there was also the live
to be found in South East area, possibly debut of ‘My Swedish Girlfriend,’ which has to
the country. Most weeks he provides the opening set and never fails to go down as one of the finest lyrical achievements so far this century.
amaze whoever happens to be drifting into the bar. Playing material He was joined by Byron Johnson for a Blues song about his bad luck
from his ‘Oceano’ album (available on iTunes) he demonstrates a deft with British girls, which again showed some fine writing skills along
ear for melody, while finding ever more creative to make sounds with with Byron’s improvisational ability. Nearing the end of the set and
a guitar. It’s almost worth seeing him twice, once to listen and yet with the audience demanding more, one punter made a slight anti-
again to watch him effortlessly seduct any sound he chooses as he Australian remark which led JJMD to perform an impromptu rousing
taps, beats, plucks, strums, strokes and scratches his acoustic guitar. version of Waltzing Matilda before inviting Byron back on stage and
Catch him live at Chancellors on March the 8th as part of GU2 Live at closing with ‘Wet Bar of Soap.’ I have now finished this article at
Chancellors! Further support was provided by The Clearing, who are a 15:51. Jolly good show!
fairly decent male/female acoustic duo. Their set included their own Andy Vale
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
18 ARTS
Glasvegas
The Boileroom
24.02.08
On the nippy evening of Sunday 24th, the Guildford Boileroom
welcomed in to its compact walls the Scottish rockers Glasvegas.
These young Glaswegians are a relatively new outfit to the pop/
rock scene that came together during 2007, sharing a fond passion
for the late King of rock n’ roll; Elvis. Through a number of other
mutual interests including Mr Ben, Danny Elfman and Tim Burton,
Glasvegas have produced their own sound that has created exciting
movement in the pop/rock classic world. To such an extent that the
following Monday was to see the guys and girl perform at an NME
awards show at Shepherds Bush Empire; a big gig I am sure you would
agree. Upon this Sunday eve however Glasvegas were the headliners
above two supports; Dennis Hopper Choppers and the Jump Pilots.
Both warm ups provided interesting performances to say the least, Jake South
with Dennis Hopper Choppers featuring Acoustic Ladyland’s very own
Pete Wareham that was of huge surprise. Yet with the two support
bands out of the way, it was time for the main event, or so you would
3rd March 2008
expect.
As the capacity of the Boileroom went from nicely crowded to fully
packed, the anticipation of the band everyone had come to see went
beyond eager after more than half an hours waiting. In actual fact it
was over 50 minutes since the second support left the stage before
Glasvegas appeared ready to perform, and by this time many people
had begun to show signs of irritation. As a result of this unnecessary
wait the atmosphere had gone from thoroughly excited to heavily
frustrated and this had a lasting effect upon the entire performance.
The band wasted no time before moving into their first number “Flowers
and Football Tops”, yet it lacked any sort of dynamism whatsoever
and was received by an unenthusiastic audience. The general vibe of
the show struggled to pick up, even during their number “Go Square
Go” that features the repeated lyrics “Here we, here * we go!”,
there was no more than a handful of people “go-ing” at all.
The poor atmosphere of Glasvegas set could be blamed upon the length
of time taken by the band to emerge, yet I would argue that a great
band would be able to liven up an audience with ease, especially an
audience of their own fans. Glasvegas made no attempt to motivate
the crowd. Even when James (lead vocals) spoke in between numbers
to introduce the next song, which was rare, his speech was lifeless
and boring.
Overall Glasvegas’s performance was a disappointment. It must be
said that the quality of each song was of a very high standard, yet the
lack of energy and enthusiasm in the venue counteracted this. Due
to a number of reasons including the extended period of time that
the audience had to wait and the poor sound quality from the venue,
Glasvegas were undoubtedly at a disadvantage before they had even
struck their first chord. If the circumstances of the evening had
been more fortunate then it would have been a completely different
experience.

SUPAFLY INC. ‘BE TOGETHER’

LABEL: EYE INDUSTRIES / RELEASED 7TH APRIL ‘08
Summer may seem far off in the distance, but it’s not too early to get a taste; a funky
bassline, chunky beats, uplifting hooks and a reggae tinged vocal drenched in sunshine. Is
it too early to lay claim to this year’s summer anthem…? Supafly Inc are duo Panos Liassi
a.k.a Mister P, a producer/songwriter hailing from London, long surrounded by hip hop,
dance and funk, and Andrew Tumi a.k.a One, a singer / songwriter immersed in reggae, soul
and West African beats from an early age. Together, Supafly Inc create a synergy that has
consistently rocked dancefloors across the world and which has seen them crash into the UK
charts with hits such as ‘Let’s Get Down’ (Eye Industries) and ‘Moving Too Fast’ (Data). The
chart successes stretch even further with top 10 hits around the world, including a top 5 in
Spain and no 1’s in Italy and Turkey! Now with new single ‘Be Together’, Supafly Inc have
delivered another skilfully crafted song designed to move your feet and pull you on to the
dancefloor. ‘Be Together’ is an uplifting and energetic feelgood tune based around a giant
hook of a chorus that will get inside your head and stay there, like the best tunes always
do. With the rallying cry ‘We Can Be Together’ already uniting dancefloors everywhere,
this is shaping up to be a big crossover hit with support from tastemakers such as Pete Tong
(Radio 1). Supafly Inc are preparing to make the leap from the dancefloors to the charts
once again.Eye Industries can always be relied upon to pull together a remix package that’s
second to none and they don’t disappoint here. There are a range of mixes to please the
crowds including remixes from, TV Rock, Ian Carey, Steve Smart & Danny Dove and Leggz
& Femi B.

Press play and put on your shades - Supafly Inc are delivering an early slice of summer
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 ARTS 19
Blood Red Shoes
Aldershot West end Centre
06/02/2008
fundamentally quite simple in structure they’re just put together so
The crowd around the front row check their watches impatiently,
well with so much energy and passion that simplicity of the songs
the band is running 15 minutes late. Finally the background music is
is outshined, yet they are only enhanced ten-fold when performed
cut and Bomb Track by Rage Against the Machine starts playing, its
live. Steve’s drumming was simply explosive and coped brilliantly
obvious to everyone that this is the intro song. The very second the
with the extra payload of lyrics as if all the songs were meant to be
song finishes the lights drop and the band walk on stage, much to the
sung by him. Laura looked pretty frustrated by the whole ordeal and
delight of the eager fans. They kick off with ‘You Bring Me Down’ the
you could clearly see by the look on her face
recently released single that this mini tour
that she desperately wanted to perform to her
is promoting. Laura-Mary Carter (guitar/
full potential. Despite all this she still managed
vocals) goes to sing the opening lyrics, but
to hold the crowd with her infectiously catchy
there’s practically no sound coming out,
riffs and great stage presence, there were times
Steve Ansel (drums/vocals) quickly jumps
where you wouldn’t have thought that kind of
in to cover her as well as singing his own
sound could only come from two people.
parts. When this happened I thought that
The more they played the more the crowd was
there was a problem with the mics sound,
getting whipped into frenzy and when they
but as the song finishes it soon becomes
started playing ‘I Wish I Was Someone Better’
clear that Laura-Mary has actually lost
(their previous single and one of their most
her voice, and can barely explain that to
popular fast paced frantic songs) the bubble
the crowd let alone sing. For all the new
burst and about 8 to 10 fans joined the band on
comers to this band seeing them for the
stage. The band loved it and the atmosphere was
first time they probably assumed that they
simply electric. When the song was over and the
had a pretty lousy gig ahead of them, but
fans had returned to the crowd they played the
just over an hour later everyone is leaving
last song of the night, ‘ADHD’. When it came
content with the knowledge that they just
to Laura’s parts she held the mic to the crowd
witnessed one spectacular gig. A gig that
and about 5 people screamed out the lyrics as
included a jam session, backing singing from the crowd, instrument
loud as they could. After that the crowd demanded an encore and
swapping, a stage invasion, and of course some unashamedly heavy
the band responded by switching instruments and playing a 4 minute
and brilliant rock songs.
instrumental set. When she was on the drums Laura was absolutely
For those who don’t know Blood Red Shoes are a band from Brighton
beaming, clearly enjoying herself greatly while Steve was a natural
origin which consist of one drummer and one guitarist, both of which
showman on guitar, and with that their performance was complete.
have a more or less equal share in the vocals. They’ve built up quite
I have been to many Blood Red Shoes shows and they have all been
a loyal fan base from when they first formed right back in September
packed with energy but this was just spectacular and amazing
2004 and from that day to this one they’ve averaged around 1 gig
considering that fact that they were a singer down. They adapted to
every 3 nights. That’s a hell of a lot of shows and they some how found
the situation brilliantly and I can only wonder how it could have been
time to record their album somewhere in between (due for release
with Laura-Mary at her full potential. I would strongly recommend
in April). After the first song finished Laura announced that she’d lost
this band to anyone, they currently have tickets available for April
the ability to sing and rather than cancel the gig they decided to
which is their album release tour. If you’re interested in seeing them
go ahead. After that Steven covered pretty much all of the vocals,
however I’d recommend you book those tickets soon, it’s a possibility
singing both his parts as well as Laura-Mary’s and he did a terrific job.
this’ll be the last time they’ll play venues this small.
They continued the night with the likes of ‘Doesn’t Matter Much, Try
Harder, and Say Something Say Anything’. While their songs are
Andrew Green
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
20 SABBATICAL ELECTIONS 3rd March 2008

The Sabbatical elections are now in full swing .The next

few pages give you an idea of who is running for the 5
positions available.
You can vote on the 13th March 10am - 5.30pm at
various venues around campus
Election results are announced on the 14th March in
Chancellors
For full manifestos please visit www.ussu.co.uk/sabbaticals

Candidates running for Union President

George Grama
Jay Beirne

James Lackovic Elizabeth Simos

We put the candidates in alphabetical order so you can’t complain!.......
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 SABBATICAL ELECTIONS 21
Candidates running for VP Education

Thomas Bottrill Nick Entwistle Gabriel Idowu

Sara-Grace Nicholson
Rebeca Morgans
For full manifestos visit www.ussu.co.uk/sabbaticals

Candidates running for VP Welfare

Georgina Cox Natalie Forrester Gareth Giles

ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
22 SABBATICAL ELECTIONS 3rd March 2008

Candidates running for VP Welfare cont..

Jamie Goodlife Beth Heale Samuel Jones

Sarah Melluish Catherine O’Sullivan Jules Williams

Candidates running for VP Societies and Individual
Development

Sam Bull Paul Follows Jack Symons

 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 SABBATICAL ELECTIONS 23
Candidates running for VP Societies and Individual
Development cont....

David Tyson Claire Worgan

For full manifestos visit www.ussu.co.uk/sabbaticals

Candidates running for VP Sports

Christophe Mathers Edward Wallace

ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
24 COMMERCIAL BREAK 3rd March 2008

3rd March 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK
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We are price matching Amazon on our top 50 Bookshop bestsellers.
Why shop online and wait for the post? This offer runs until 14/03/08.
OPENING HOURS MONDAY TO FRIDAY
SATURDAYS
Clinical Biochemistry by Gaw
Consumer Behaviour by Evans
New Cambridge Statistical Tables by Lindley
Macroeconomics by Gartner
Human Physiology by Silverthorn
Organic Chemistry by McMurry
Doing a Literature Review by Hart
Developing Effective Research by Punch
Medical Ethics by Hope
Immunology by Kindt
Basic Immunology by Abbas
Q and A Evidence by Spencer
Concrete Design by Martin
Labour Economics by Borjas
Q and A Equity and Trusts by Wilkie
Beginning Reflective Practice by Jasper
Accounting for Non-Accountants by Dyson
Basic Course in Statistics by Clarke
Nutcases Land Law by Chang
Nursing Calculations by Gatford
Focus on IELTS
Mosby’s Dictionary of Medicine Nursing
and Health Professions
Systems Analysis and Design by Dennis
Research Methods for Business by Saunders
Management Information Systems by Laudon
Mason and McCall Smith’s Law and Medical Ethics
Foundations of Quantitative Business by Bancroft
Royal Marsden Hospital Manual by Dougherty
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
25
8.30AM - 6.00PM
11.00AM - 4.00PM
Audio Culture by Cox
Flight Catering by Jones
Ogier’s Reading Research by Lanoe
Getting to Yes by Fisher
Business Finance by McLaney
Ergonomics for Beginners by Dul
Anorexia Nervosa by Treasure
Healthcare Management by Smith
Entrepreneurship by Kirby
Food Portion Sizes by Crawley
Radiation Detection by Knoll
Discrimination Law by Connelly
E-tourism by Buhalis
Social Psychology by Hogg
Medical Law and Ethics by Herring
Selwyn’s Law of Employment
Discovering Statistics by Field
Nuevo Ele 1 by Borobio
International Criminal Law by Cassese
Dealing with Food Allergies by Joneja
Introduction to Banking by Casu
SPSS Survival Manual by Pallant
*Amazon new book prices
We stock a wide range of Snacks, Drinks, Event Tickets, Cards,
University Souvenirs, Hoodies, Stationery and Fairtrade gifts.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
26 SOCIETIES 3rd March 2008

St. John Ambulance

- Surrey LINKS
“Past this door, a person has collapsed after you hear
screaming…”
A scary prospect when you experience something like this in real life. It’s common
that faced with a situation like this, you would forget anything that you’ve been taught
from a blackboard and launch yourself into a blind panic. That’s why the opportunity
to learn practical aspects of first aid with our training kit and a good hands-on
session would better prepare you for that unexpected moment that a problem occurs
(plus the chance to pummel our supply of CPR dummies!). Since Refreshers Fayre,
we’ve got a new wave of volunteers who were more than willing to rise up to the
challenge of entering a part of the Teaching Block, and getting their knees down to
do some essential lifesaving.
There were many scenarios that our resuscitation dolls had to go through, including
common complaints such as bleeding and choking, plus allowing one of them to
perform the rare extreme of placing a noose around its neck and letting it perform
a suicide attempt. New recruits needed to not only learn both the promptness and
efficiency of their skills, but also that when saving someone’s life, you are the highest
priority – is it better to take the time to make sure the power is turned off before
you treat someone with electric shock, or to save time and risk frazzling yourself in
the process?
Specific concepts were introduced as well, such as the use of an automated
defibrillator (not what you’d see on ER – this one talks to you!), administration of
medical gases, and even the preservation of evidence at the scene of a crime. Most
of our members were new to first aid, so there was no pressure to perform perfectly.
Therefore, we could encourage a safe and friendly atmosphere, allowing people to
perform and learn from their mistakes rather than face a real life situation and do
more harm than good. Despite this, helping a choking woman by cradling their chest
in order to give them backslaps is still an awkward situation!
It’s certain to say our little session left our attendance of 25, novice and expert,
with a positive lasting effect. On asking one of our members, Clare what her favourite
scenario was, she said without hesitation that it was the choking infant, since when
doing things correctly, it’s even more important to stay calm when you’re treating a Just because we’re already training our new recruits, it doesn’t mean that you can’t
baby, which is more vulnerable. Overall, she had learnt from the experience, adding join us at our next meeting. LINKS practice every Tuesday at 7.30pm in TB23, and
that it was a chance to apply her skills in situations she hadn’t necessarily been trained sessions last 60-90 minutes. We look forward to meeting you.
to deal with. - Chris Pittock, LINKS Member

Unis Cup 2008: an adventure for some... Apologies ...

Over the past weeks, a tournament has been taking
place at Varsity, involving some of Surrey’s finest
society football teams.
This is the second year in this tournaments birth;
officially labelled the “Unis cup”, the tournament
represents more than just a game with a few fanatics
on the pitch. For some it represents their last haul at
getting the much coveted “silver ware”.
The four teams that entered this year, were the
Arab Society FC (last years winners) Led by their ever Some of you may remember the impressive photograph
inspiring captain Yazan Jerab, Asian Society FC led by (below) from last issue of the charging male lion from
the quiet giant that is Allum, the Greek Society led by the photography article. Apologies are due for publishing
Cris K and finally the ACS Boys led by the tactically the incorrect name on the profile.
adventurous Bode Fadase. All credit and copyright belongs to Bevis King of
For some teams the adventure is nearly over, seen as faculty IT.
the ACS have convincingly booked their place in the If your interested in seeing more then contact
final on the 7th of March, thanks to a victory over the photography at cz00010@surrey.ac.uk
“brave-hearts” of tournament Asian FC. Goals from
Noble and Tony Blaize (divine strike) sealed the hard
fought win.
Their final opponents are yet to be decided; however
one has to commend both the organisers and the
players in this tournament for creating a platform
for students to enjoy. Long may this tradition
continue…?
Contact me to find out how you could get involved
in a future tournament and earn your chance at the
“silver ware”.
By Tony Blaize
 ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
3rd March 2008 SOCIETIES 27
Photography
Profile: Andrew J. Pye
I am based in the Advanced Technology
Institute and am currently in the first year of
study for my PhD. I have many interests, but aside
from photography most of the free time I have
is spent playing the guitar. I became interested in
photography just over a year ago and as such I
still have a lot to learn. The best way to do this
is through interaction with other photographers,
and this is the main reason why I joined the
Photography Society. Despite being such a new
society, I’m already benefitting from knowledge
shared with me by its members. I concentrate
mostly on wildlife and landscape pictures, although
I have recently broadened my range and am happy
to photograph most subjects.

Photo
Male Common Blue butterfly.
Taken in August 2007 near Riano, Northern Spain,
using a Canon EOS 400D camera with a Tamron
70-300mm macro lens.

Societies Awards Best Society Event

Awarded to the society that has (supported by but not
Committee as well as by members of the society.

Outstanding Contribution to Societies

Some of you will have seen the recent email from Zeph,
our Societies Sabbatical, about the upcoming society
awards. This is your chance to nominate societies for a
number of awards including Best of ‘Type’ (e.g. Special
Interest, Departmental, ...) and the following awards
with extra criteria.
Best Newcomer
Awarded to the society that started this academic year
and has proven both staying power and that they are
able to retain active members and hold regular activities.
They will have to submit a report and a new list of
members and their attendance at Societies Standing
will be taken into account.
led by the Activities office) put on an event (cultural or
otherwise) that has shown to be well supported.
Society Achievement Award
Awarded for anything that the society has accomplished
that has been of particular benefit to the members or
to external partners (e.g. Charity collections), which
has been over and above normal society activities.
Society Lifetime Award
Given to a member who has show commitment to the
society and its activities above and beyond the call of
duty over a number of years. Someone can also be
nominated for this award by a member of the Awards
Awarded to a member of a society who has provided
an outstanding contribution to the running, operation
and activity of the society for at least one year. The
individual must have at least one year’s committee
service. Someone can also be nominated for this award
by a member of the Awards Committee as well as by
members of the society.
To get involved check your emails or the below link
http://www.ussu.co.uk/societies/content/index.
php?page=13725
Nominations close March 10th so get them into Zeph
before then!

Be Warned ......Answers !!! Puzzlelord has Encoded the crossword answers, as before , to stop you
“accidentally” reading them

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1 and 5) Nqcmzmbd Rtqudx. 9) Snkdqzms. 10) Lzfmtl. 12 and 14

2
and 27) Vgnrd Khmd Hr Hs Zmxvzx? 13) ZRBHH. 16) Adgzudr.
19) Qzmczkk. 21) Shcx. 24) Bqtla. 25) Snlzgzvjr. 28) Osnlzhmd. 29)
Qdldcx. 30) Gxcqnfdm.

1
Bktdr Cnvm:
1) Nsszvz. 3) Zfqdd. 4) Bnmuhbs. 6) Tmzazrgdc. 7) Udmz Bzuz. 8)
Xtllhdrs. 11) Vdaa. 15) Rszqanzqc. 17) Zqlbgzhq. 18) Zmdtqxrl.
20) Knsr. 21 and 2) Shlnsgx Czksnm. 22) Nvmhmf. 23) Zrsdqm. 26)
Gnldq.

Bktdr Cnvm:
1) Zmcnudq. 2) Bnlldqbd. 3) Tqzmtr. 4) Gzmchbzo. 5) Rsqnkk. 6)
Hmrtkhm. 8) Qnns zmc aqzmbg. 14) Dohknftd. 15) Szjdnudq. 16)
Fzkzgzc. 17) Vnnrsdq. 19) Ztstlm. 21) Dbbkdr.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
28 FEATURES 3rd March 2008

Creative Academy
By Gurvinder Sandhu
BSc Business Management (Undergraduate)
What is creativity? How do we measure creativity? How can we think outside of the
box and be creative? How can we channel our creativity into solving burning issues
that need to be addressed? These were some of the questions that were considered
during Creative Academy last Wednesday at Wates House. It was a chance to think
creatively to address issues about the student community on the University campus.
Examples of this were how could we collectively benefit from the multicultural society
on campus and how could we get more society members to attend student assemblies
and representative meetings.
perspective. To conclude, we had a discussion about what we achieved from attending
the creative academy and went over any issues that were still to be addressed.
Personally, it was an eye opening experience for me and gave me the confidence to
approach issues from a different perspective. Now, I feel I can start to apply the
techniques and methods that I learned in the session in both my academic and personal
fields. Lastly, I would highly recommend that anyone who has a desire to gain new skills
and become more employable takes the opportunity to attend any forthcoming creative
academy events.

The event was facilitated by Fred from Amsterdam who is an integral component of
the FredWerk organisation which is an international network of professionals who
play a big role in bring about change in organisations. He has a world of experience
including a master’s degree in Industrial Design Engineering and consultancy.

The session began with a quick introduction, after which we were divided into two
groups of 6. We were each given post-its and time to write initial suggestions to the
campus and community issues that were given. Then, each group had to vote which
issue they want to isolate and work on as a group. Throughout the session, we received
feedback and each member was given the opportunity to present their views.

After light refreshments were served, the session resumed with the groups considering
alternative avenues to the same issues that were being solved. Examples of this included
thinking about something random and remote from the original issue. This enabled
the groups to refresh their minds and think about the same issue from a different

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Every Saturday night ODEON Guildford have

a fantastic line up of great films for you to
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Come to any advertised film performance

commencing after 10.15pm and only
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3rd March 2008
Dancing On Thin
Ice
By Clive Pumblebeard
I woke up on Sunday 10th eager to tune in
and watch the promising day of sport
that lay before me. The Manchester derby
would begin proceedings off treatingly
well. This would be followed by England’s
predicted glorious comeback against Italy and
finally the clash of two titans’, Chelsea and
Liverpool. Although it was refreshing to see
City overcome United, I was still left wanting
more and once again we were left disillusioned
by England’s lackluster performance. Is it not
enough to just win? No, not when you loose
pitifully to Wales, then expect the whole
country to tune in and watch you against Italy.
Chelsea and Liverpool once again cancelled
each other out in a scrappy stop-start match-
a real surprise there.
I was frustrated with how this promising day
was unraveling, extremely frustrated. English
sport on this day seemed dreary and there
was a distinct absence of passion and desire.
Anyway, enough of this endless rant; it was
approaching 18:00 and my girlfriend dropped
the bombshell that after all this misery I had
to sit through an hour and half of ‘Dancing
on Ice’. I immediately began to make excuses,
starting by way of my self-appointment with a
nearby cliff. However I decided to put myself
through it, hoping that it would slowly drift
me to an endless sleep. The first contestant
to emerge was our ‘nation’s favorite’, Greg
Rusedski. As he stumbled on his approach,
a small grin greeted my face and I couldn’t
help but wished he had tumbled over. The
rest of the brigade entered including the one
Results
Team Surrey’s sports results since the previous
barefacts:
Hockey
09/02/2008 Surrey Open Hockey League Div 2
Cheam 1st 11-0 Surrey 1st
SOHL Div 4
Surrey 2nd 3-2 Guildford 4th
Surrey Ladies League Div 6
Surrey Women’s 1st 0-4 London
Wayfarers Ladies 4th
16/02/2008 SOHL Div 2
Surrey 1st 5-1 Kenley 1st
SOHL Div 4
Bank of England 2nd 10-0 Surrey 2nd
Surrey Ladies League Div 6
Epsom Ladies 5th 2-5 Surrey Women’s
1st
17/02/2008 Surrey Ladies League Div 6
Surrey Women’s 1st 0-3 Wanderers
Ladies 5th
23/02/2008 SOHL Div 2
Richmond 4th – Surrey 1st
SOHL Div 4
NPL 3rd – Surrey 2nd
Surrey Ladies League Div 6
Surrey Women’s 1st – Old Georgians
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
SPORT 29
and only Tim Vincent and my idol Suzanne
Shaw; “Suzanne Shaw to win” I read in the Easter Sports! record in all fixtures. The team are not
affiliated to FIFA, so are not eligible to
crowd. Oh how witty. I won’t bore you with
By David Halls, Sports Editor
compete for the World Cup, or the OFC
an in depth analysis, but what I will tell you Nations Cup.
is it was the most entertaining sport I had
witnessed all day. In keeping with this edition of barefacts’
Easter Road is the home ground of
The staggering style of Steve Backley was Easter theme; I thought this week I’d look
Scottish Premier League side Hibernian.
great humor and although Jason Gardiner is at Easter sports…
The ground is in Edinburgh, and has a
an utter twit, his truthful comments straight
capacity of 17,500- making it the seventh
from the heart are entertaining viewing. In Roman times, eggs were often used
Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but what largest ground in Scotland.
in Easter sports; with eggs given to the
do you expect him to do, lie? Too much of winners as prizes in their celebratory
the media are guilty of that already. If the Luscious Luke Easter was a professional
Easter races. Nowadays, the extent of
general public really are stupid enough to baseball player during the 1940s to the
Easter sports just about stretches to ‘Egg
waste their hard-earned wages on voting in 1960s. He was a solid contributor to the
Rolling’ and the classic(!) ‘Easter Egg
this show, then why not vote to keep the success of the Homestead Grays in the
worst skaters in? Hunt’. Now, I know you’re all eager to
late 1940s. In 1952, whilst playing for
As the ‘elements’ become harder and harder, read a match report on the latest Egg
the Cleveland Indians, Easter was voted
surely it will be more enjoyable to watch Roll, there haven’t been any on campus
13th Most Valuable Player.
pathetic celebrities embarrass themselves for yet, so we’ll just have to wait!
our own benefit. I believe we are being too
Jermaine Easter is a professional footballer,
nice, too courteous and possibly too naive. My extensive research into other Easter
ITV come across motivated only by the currently plying his trade for Plymouth
Sports led me to the conclusion that
number of viewers they receive. That is why Argyle in the Football Championship. He
there seemingly are none. So instead,
their programs appeal to the masses, such as transferred two years ago for £210,000
sticking to the given theme (sort of), how
the pathetic ‘Primeval’ and ‘Wild at Heart’ from Wycombe Wanderers. Jermaine
about a roundup of sport with tenuous
(no demeaning adjective necessary for the has made 6 appearances for the Welsh
links to Easter?
latter). national team, since his debut in 2007.
The occasional Champions League game He has a brother, Jamal, who was recently
greets our TV when the season permits, but The Easter Island national football team
released from Cardiff City, and who now
this is an anomaly and a whole other issue. played their first ever game on June 1st
plays for Welsh Premier side Carmarthen
They should take my advice and hijack the 1996, away to the Juan Fernandez Islands;
Town.
votes by kicking the talented celebrities out, returning home with a 5-3 victory to
like the increasingly annoying Chris Fountain. their name. Four years later, the Easter
Nevertheless I will no doubt tune in next Happy Easter!
Islanders hosted the Juan Fernandez team
week, eager to satisfy my need to witness more to play their second, and most recent
relics fall over and embarrass themselves. fixture. Easter Island won that fixture
If your life is as pathetic as mine then I urge
16-0. As such, the Easter Islanders have
you to tune in and pray the ice is too thin for
never lost a football match; with a 100%
the skaters this time round.
Ladies 2nd Ultimate Frisbee
Netball
16-17/02/2008 Roehampton Tournament
Surrey 1st (Won 5, Drawn 0, Lost 2),
13/02/2008 BUSA Shield (Last 32) Final ranking: 4 out of 16.
th
Surrey 1st 34-25 Kent 2nd Surrey 2nd (Won 4, Drawn 1, Lost 2),
20/02/2008 BUSA Shield (Last 16) Final Ranking: 9th out of 16.
King’s College, London 1st 7-3 Surrey 23-24/02/2008 UEA Tournament
1st Surrey Final Ranking: 6th out of 24.
Rugby Union Football
13/02/2008 BUSA SE Men’s 2A 09/02/2008 Guildford & Woking Alliance
St Mary’s 2nd 39-5 Surrey 1st League Premier Division
BUSA SE Men’s 4D AFC Bourne 3-2 Surrey 1st
Surrey 2nd 17-26 Kingston 2nd GWAFL Division 1
20/02/2008 BUSA SE Men’s 2A Surrey Athletic 1-1 Surrey 2nd
Surrey 1st 14-14 Kingston 1st GWAFL Division 2
BUSA SE Men’s 4D Godalming Utd 2-2 Surrey 3rd
Chichester 2nd 50-0 Surrey 2nd 16/02/2008 GWAFL Intermediate Cup
(Quarter Final)
Squash Godalming Utd. 0-1 Surrey 2nd
13/02/2008 BUSA Shield (Last 16) GWAFL Division 2
Surrey 1st 5-0 Cardiff 2nd Surrey 3rd P-P Staines Lammas B
20/02/2008 BUSA Shield (Quarter Final) (Home win awarded)
Imperial College, London – Surrey 1st 23/02/2008 GWAFL Junior Cup (Quarter
BUSA Plate (Semi-Final) Final)
Hertfordshire 1st 3-0 Surrey 2nd Cobham Utd 3-1 Surrey 3rd
Tennis GWAFL Premier Division
13/02/2008 BUSA Shield (Last 16) Holmbury St Mary 0-6 Surrey 1st
Surrey 1st 3-7 Southampton GWAFL Division 1
Surrey 2nd 6-3 Staines Lammas A
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
30 SPORT 3rd March 2008

Commando Krav Maga

By Tim Garland
CKM is based on defending against realistic
street attacks, rather than perfectly executed
punches and kicks. As a martial art, it realises
What do Batman, Matt Damon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the CIA have in common? that a confrontation can quickly change from
Apart from being possibly the best secret underground crime-fighting syndicate an initial stand-up attack, to a ground fight,
imaginable, they also all practice Krav Maga. to having a knife or gun drawn, or involve
multiple attackers. It teaches you how to deal
Krav Maga is an Israeli military martial art that was modernised and adapted into with each of these situations independently,
‘Commando Krav Maga’, or CKM (Which is currently taught to Israeli Special Forces. and more importantly how to withdraw from
The basic changes were from a ‘give-no- quarter punish-the-attacker’ military them, so that you can remain in control, and
emphasis to a ‘neutralise the attack, and withdraw’ self-defensive style). It just so prevent the encounter from taking on new
happens that a CKM sports club has recently started in the Sports Centre, and I’ve dimensions.
been going along to it.
Despite having it’s origins in the military, it’s not a requirement or a necessity to be built CKM’s strength lies in its simplicity. The moves and counters used are surprisingly
like a squaddie. All of the defences rely on technique rather than strength and brute force. basic, easy to remember, and above all effective. Having seen one girl, a little over 5
By utilising your large muscle groups (such as shoulders and hips) against an attacker’s foot, moving from being strangled by a guy (a foot and a half taller), to bashing his
much smaller head on the floor (in a well controlled and padded way!) within 3 seconds, during her
gripping muscles, first lesson, is a real tribute to CKM.
anyone, regardless
of size and build, I play squash once a week, and have done some martial arts in the past, but CKM gives
can overcome a real work out, with cardio drills and some endurance work. There is a strong emphasis
an aggressor, on making the situations feel more real to you, by having the attacker shouting at you
much larger and for money, or doing some strong exercise before the technique to tire you out, so that
stronger than you’ll be better equipped if you’re ever attacked and under pressure.
themselves.
So if you’re interested in learning a martial art, want a fantastic work out, or just want
to feel a bit more confident on the streets, come and join us. We train on Saturdays
from 2 till 4pm in UniSport. If you have any questions, or would like to know more,
you can give us a shout at ac00024@surrey.ac.uk.

Archery Club wins

The World of Sport
sessions

University per week, indoor & outdoor ranges

By David Halls, Sports Editor

Regionals!
with a National level coach, Surrey
up their chase for a Play Off spot by
look very third rate to say the least.
The Six Nations narrowly beating Hull KR 29-28- the
By Barry Cottrel Wales still look great value for the Grand result sees the Wolves sitting in 5th place.
However, despite being so heavily
Slam, after overcoming their poor history Harlequins have been impressive this
handicapped this year, an unparalleled
If you’ve ever visited UniSport on against Italy with a 47-8 victory. After a year; with 2 wins to their name after 3
dedication and team spirit arose; members
Saturdays it is highly likely you have seen close first half, Wales scored 34 second games; and an equally impressive points
(at their own great expense, effort and
Stag Hill Archers practicing. Since 2003 half points without reply to see off the difference. Of course, it is only early days
time) found private training facilities-
the club has been competing in the South Italians. England ruined France’s hopes at this stage of the season, and anything
together with seniors returning and fresh
East Archery League (SEAL) winning of a Grand Slam with a 24-13 win in could happen between now and the Grand
talent arriving- saw a clear-cut
the inaugural championship; thereafter Paris. This defeat will have seriously Final in September.
Imperial College have ruled unchallenged. hurt the French, but they should bounce
victory over favourites Imperial, and
Since that glorious year the Archery Club back against Italy next weekend. Ireland Beijing 2008 Olympics
Southampton. All previous Surrey Archery
has slowly had its training facilities eroded are still in the hunt for a Triple Crown It was announced this week that Tom
records were smashed as Matthew Sharpe,
which has led to the weekly indoor session after defeating Scotland 34-13; but with Daley would become Britain’s youngest
Barry Cottrell, Mac Edwards, Jamie
being cut from 4 hours to 3, the outdoor England and Wales still to play, they are male Olympian ever, as he was selected in
Goodliffe and Matt Brown maintained form
field lost completely, not to mention legal far from taking the prize! However, if the GB Diving squad travelling to Beijing
over three long, unbeaten matches against
wrangles regarding student membership of Ireland lose to Wales on March 8th, then this summer. Tom will be just 14 years
Imperial, Reading, Brunel, Southampton,
a local club. Compared to championship- the Welsh will take the Triple Crown. and 81 days old when the competition
Sussex and the University of London.
favourites Imperial College’s 3-5 training This tournament is turning into a classic- begins in August. However, his honour
with four teams still able to win the Six was taken away again just days later when
The club has the Indoor BUSA
Nations, two still able to come last, and it was discovered that Kenneth Lester
and the British University
Wales looking so much stronger than was in fact Great Britain’s youngest male
team championship to look
the team that disappointed in the 2007 Olympian. Apparently there had been a
forward to in March followed
World Cup. typing error that led the British Olympic
by Outdoors events later in the
Association to believe Lester was 23 when
year. If you are interested in
Rugby League he coxed a rowing paid in the Rome 1960
taking up Archery as a sport, or
maybe just for fun, pop along Leeds have certainly gone about retaining games; whereas he was actually 13 years
their Super League title the right way, and 144 days old- ten months younger
on a Saturday at 1p.m. in the
having played four and won four this than Daley will be when the games start.
Main Hall, UniSport.
season. They have double the points of
Wigan in second place. Warrington kept

3rd March 2008
A Mixed Week For Guildford City
Joe Pattison, GCFC Supporters Club
Camberley Town 0 - 1 Guildford City
Guildford City 1 – 2 Wembley
Guildford City FC are currently sitting proud in
2nd place in the Combined Counties Premier League having
enjoyed a great string of results. The victory away at Camberley
Town, where City dominated throughout, typified their recent
form.
SPORT
attacking play. Guildford soon gained in confidence however
and began to dominate possession, working it well around
the midfield with special merit to Reece White (pictured)
who had a great game. Shortly after being booked for back
chatting to the referee, White topped his performance with
a fantastic volley from the edge of the area, putting the ball
powerfully over the Camberley keeper’s head and into the top
corner. The 42nd minute strike put Guildford 1-0 up going
into half time, and gave the Sweeney (City’s ‘barmy army’ set
of fans) something to really sing about. The second half saw
much of the same with Camberley, who are 4th in the league,
failing to really make Gindre work in the City goal. The
home team’s defence, however, remained solid throughout,
stopping Guildford from building the lead. They were close to
conceding midway through the second half after some tricky
footwork from Guildford’s towering forward Warren Coborne
saw him through on goal, only to put it wide of the post.
All in all, City managers Scott Steele and Lloyd Wye will be
pleased with their team’s performance, though may count
themselves unlucky not to have won by more. Credit should go
to Camberley Town’s well organised defence, as they kept their
team in with a chance of getting something from the game.
Saturday 23rd saw Wembley making the trip to
the Spectrum to challenge City. The 9th place team came to
Guildford looking to cement their position in the top half
of the table, and they did just that. The City defence, whilst
admittedly weakened through injury, looked shaky from the
start. A through ball to Wembley’s Joel Bevis in the 10th minute
showed up a lack of communication between the defence and
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
31
greatly
improved throughout
the second half, with
Rob Parrott coming
tantalisingly close to
putting them into
the lead. However
City couldn’t handle
the pressure from
Wembley and
conceded again in
the last minute of normal time. Scott Cannie came close to
equalising with a thundering shot from 20 yards out, but
Wembley goalkeeper Marc Talbot was equal to it. He pulled
off his best save of the match to tip the ball over the bar.
Despite being 2nd in the league, Guildford’s chances
of coming top are near impossible as runaway leaders
Merstham are 13 points clear with 5 games in hand over
Guildford. Attention turns, therefore, to the Surrey Senior
Cup. Guildford are through to the Quarter Finals after the
relative giant killing of Ryman Premier League side Carshalton
Athletic in January. The Quarter Final match away against
Whyteleafe was due to be played on February 19th but was
called off 30 minutes before kick-off due to a predicted (but
not yet realised) heavy frost, much to the annoyance of the
travelling Sweeney fans! The match has been rescheduled to
the 26th, and a full match report will appear in the next edition
of barefacts.
Details of all upcoming fixtures can be found at

Camberley started well on their somewhat uneven pitch,

goalkeeper Gindre as no-one went for the ball and Bevis passed
it into the back of the net with ease. Guildford steadily improved
www.guildfordcityfc.co.uk
testing City goalkeeper Jay Gindre early on with some great and equalised in the 50th minute through Sam Pothecary. They

Ten Pin Bowling –

the sport for everyone Come to this meeting to express your interest in bowling. With
enough people expressing an interest this club can rise like a
phoenix from the ashes!
Save the Club! This meeting is open to Undergraduates, Postgraduates and staff.
By Mark Rodgers Bowling is a great social sport and should be accessible to all. Be
you male or female, short or tall, fat or thin, a first time bowler
Here is a brief history of The University of Surrey Ten Pin Bowling or professional, all can enjoy bowling and it is a great opportunity
Club to meet people, hang out with friends, and make new ones. Did I
also mention there is a bar at the
2005 BUSA Champions bowling alley?
2006 BUSA Champions
The BUSA championships and
2007 BUSA Champions other competitions will only be
2008 No bowling club open to the undergraduates to take
part in, but anyone can compete
It is a sad state of affairs and in the University League!
would be comparable to your
favourite football team winning So if you enjoy bowling then come
the premier league 3 seasons in a along to the meeting and tell your
row and then closing down. Help friends, housemates, classmates
us erase that last entry and bring and colleagues to come too!
tenpin bowling back to Surrey!
This meeting will include the
Meeting club’s AGM. We look forward to
Tuesday 11th March 5:30pm seeing you!
(Students’ Union Committee
Room)
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
32 SPORT 3rd March 2008

Football Roundup
David Halls, Sports Editor it is still very hard to believe. Chelsea are nine points
behind Arsenal, admittedly with a game in hand, and
There’s been plenty of football this fortnight; both with Arsenal & United still to travel to Stamford Bridge,
domestically and on the continent; so once more, we Chelsea could find themselves far from the leading pack
have plenty to discuss. As usual, if you have any replies come the end of the season.
to this column; or have any football issues you’d like to Liverpool are in serious danger of dropping out of the
be focussed on in the next Football Roundup, please top 6, let alone the top 4. Whilst a Torres hat-trick at
continue to send them to bf.sport@gmail.com the weekend may have given Liverpool fans some hope
of Champions League football next year, Man City,
League Cup… Everton, Villa and Portsmouth will be pushing right to
Congratulations to Tottenham Hotspur on winning the end for a European place.
this season’s League Cup. It’s great to see that non- At the wrong end of the table, the bottom three are
Big Four sides can still win major silverware (the last starting to lose touch, with Derby, Fulham and Reading
time being Middlesbrough’s success in 2004). Avram all recording unconvincing defeats. Middlesbrough’s
Grant somewhat-bitterly disputed Spurs penalty; claiming that Wayne Bridge didn’t good recent form should see them avoid the drop, even if they are only 7 points off
deliberately handle the ball. But when you’re tussling with the striker in the box; you the relegation zone. Newcastle have dropped down the table like a stone recently; and
run that risk. Bridge knocked the ball away with his hand, ergo: penalty. The penalty unless they pick up their form soon, could find themselves as this season’s “big team that
itself was the sort of cool finish you’d expect from Dimitar Berbatov. Spurs’ extra-time plummets”. It happened to Leeds, West Ham, Sheffield Wednesday and Nottingham
second goal was rather humourous as Petr Cech punched Jermaine Jenas’ freekick onto Forest in recent years, and could well happen to the Magpies!
Jonathan Woodgate’s head for the ball to trickle into the net. Spurs’ defence performed
superbly to keep Chelsea at bay until full time; and deservedly took a famous victory- at Champions League…
the same time picking up their first piece of silverware since winning the League Cup How is it Liverpool can lose to Barnsley, yet beat Inter Milan 2-0? There must be
back in 1999. something about European football that appeals to the Reds rather than domestic
competitions. And whilst yes, Inter were down to 10 men for the best part of an
The FA Cup… hour; they are surely a higher class opposition than the Tykes. Celtic performed well
Amazingly, we still have 4 teams from outside the top flight in the FA Cup. Barnsley to put two past Barcelona in their first leg; but with three away goals to their name, it’s
caused the biggest upset of the 5th Round, by seeing off Liverpool 2-1. With three all- impossible now to look past Barca to get to the next round. Chelsea and United will
Football League fixtures, we were guaranteed at least 3 non-Premiership sides into the undoubtedly be disappointed to have drawn their first legs, away to Olympiakos and
Quarter Final; and Bristol Rovers, Cardiff and West Bromwich Albion duly delivered. Lyon respectively. But at least Man Utd picked up an invaluable away goal.
League One Rovers are now the lowest ranked team still in the tournament. The 5th Also disappointing about this round was that, for 4 English teams left in the Champions
Round also saw Man Utd demolish Arsenal 4-0, in what was billed as a close match. League, only 11 English players featured. To show a comparison, Lyon are the only
So, for the 6th Round/Quarter Final draw, giant-killers Barnsley were rewarded for their French team left in, yet 13 Frenchmen played this week. Even worse was that in the
troubles with a home tie against holders Chelsea. Man Utd have drawn a Premiership Arsenal v Milan game, not a single Englishman was on the pitch at kick-off. And there’s
side for the eleventh consecutive time in the cup; hosting Portsmouth. However, we all this wonder about why there are no English stars coming through academies…
are guaranteed at least one Football League team in the semi-final, with Bristol Rovers
drawing West Brom. If the remaining Premiership teams draw each other in the next Euro 2008…
round, there’s every chance we’ll have the first non-top flight side to reach the final since So it seems like there could be a British team going to Austria/Switzerland this summer
Millwall in 2004. after all. FIFA & UEFA are threatening to throw Spain out of this summer’s European
Championships, unless the Spanish government stops interfering with the Spanish
Eduardo’s injury… FA’s elections. If Spain are ejected from the tournament, Northern Ireland will be
Obviously, all who could bear to watch replays were shocked at the injury to Arsenal’s their replacements, as the Northern Irish came third in their qualifying group (behind
Eduardo last Saturday. The BBC and Sky both refused to replay the event, or to show the Spain and Sweden). The last instance of a team being thrown out of the European
injury; and understandably- the look of horror on the faces of Eduardo’s team-mates Championships was in 1992 when Yugoslavia were disqualified due to the Yugoslav
showed just why! I’ve heard from many that the 3-match ban for Birmingham’s Martin Wars. Their replacements, Denmark, went on to shock Europe by beating reigning
Taylor isn’t enough and that he should be banned for life. This is surely excessive; the world champions [West] Germany in the final.
tackle wasn’t malicious, and it seems more that Eduardo had over-run the ball and was
caught unintentionally. After all, Roy Keane ‘only’ got an 8-match ban for his tackle of Local Sides…
Alfe Inge Haaland, and he admitted it was on purpose! This isn’t defending the tackle, Aldershot are still comfortably at the top of the Conference; 5 points clear of Torquay,
however, it is a prime example of what careless tackling can lead to. Hopefully Eduardo though Torquay have a game in hand over the Shots. Potentially the game of the season
will be back to his best very soon, and I’m sure all would wish him a speedy recovery. is due next week, however, when Torquay host Aldershot, in a game which could decide
the title. Woking are still sitting nicely in mid-table obscurity.
Premiership…
Arsenal stumbled in their challenge for the title last weekend. Eduardo’s injury must Football League…
have had some effect on the players’ mentalities for the match, with William Gallas I doubt many would have predicted back in August that at this point of the year Stoke
bizarrely storming off in tears. That said, Birmingham capitalised, and took a much- and Bristol City would be leading the chase for the Championship title. With a game
needed point, to create an, albeit small, gap between themselves and the relegation zone. in hand each over Stoke though, and just 1 and 2 points behind respectively, City and
Man Utd demolished Newcastle at St James’ Park 5-1 to close the gap on the Gunners. Watford could both conceivably finish top.
United are now just 3 points behind Arsenal, with a superior goal difference. The title At 12 points clear at the top of League One, the title is practically Swansea’s. Surely
could well be decided on April 13th when Arsenal travel to Old Trafford. However no-one is going to catch them now.
much Avram Grant insists Chelsea are still going for the treble,