Some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to

take regular exercise. Others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to
do so should lie with schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is controversial whether parents should motivate their children to frequently exercise for
school. Some people say that this should be the job of a teacher. It needs to be considered
how these two possibilities will effect the learning habits of children.

In general, many children spend more time at home than at school. This is why parents
should continuously look after their children’s assignments and control whether they do
their homework on time. Children who don’t have much experience in learning for a test
should be able to count on their parent’s help. People generally have various difficulties with
learning for different subjects at school or even at university. For instance, children who are
probably good in mathematics might have problems with languages and literature. Hence,
parents should focus on their kid’s weaknesses and particularly encourage them to work on
these fields.

On the other hand, children should feel well at school and they should have teachers who
want the success of all their students. They should encourage all of them without
discremenating any of the children. In particular, they should also focus on students who
have a different mother tongue and difficulties with the language at school. Often these
students feel unsure and need a higher level of motivation.

In my way of thinking, it is very important that children have a motivational teacher who is
confident with his job and helps the kids to feel good with their preparation for school.
Nevertheless, it is also very important that parents should encourage their children too
because they are the persons who can control their spare time.

Comments:

Strengths Weaknesses

 An excellent introduction and  You have not answered the question

conclusion but misunderstanding as directly about – ‘exercise’ (i.e.
to the task. fitness). You have answered about
who is the best to teach children
 Presents a position which is not
about how to learn / study.
relevant to the question; althoug you
use good ideas which are well
 More accurate language – ‘or school’;
arranged and form a convincing
‘affect….; ‘monitor their children’s
argument for a different question.
assignments’; ‘feel good / happy
/secure’; ‘discriminating against’;
 Arranges information and ideas
‘control their spare time’ – influence
coherently and there is a clear overall
their studying habits.
 progression. Generally good  Adverb position - ‘to work
cohesion. particularly on these fields’
 Uses less common lexical items with
some awareness of style and
collocation
 Some adventurous longer sentences
worthy of a 7.5 and higher. Excellent
complex sentences attempted.

Score – 6.0