DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 1

Developing a Sense of Belonging

Brianna Araya

Salem State University

DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 2

Part I

“So tell me a little about yourself” is one of the most nerve-wracking questions. I never

know how to respond. Do they want to know where I grew up? What I did in school? I could

answer those questions, but that would not tell you who I am, or how I grew up. Individuals

develop in multitudes of ways, but the most important part of their development is who they

surround themselves with, who they develop relationships with, and how those relationships

affect them. This tells someone more than a couple questions could. The best way to get to know

someone, is getting to know the important people in their lives.

Kathleen Araya

When I was growing up, I was lucky enough to be able to spend a lot of time with my

mom. She was a stay at home mom while I was in elementary school, and every day I would

look forward to seeing her as soon as I got home. My dad worked for the town and was gone

before I woke up and would come home right before bed. He was at work most of the time

leaving my mom, my sister Gabby, and me together. We would spend a lot of time in the house

or walking around town. My mom did not have a license, or a car, so we would walk to the local

outdoor shopping mall and do our grocery shopping. On special days, she would let us go into

the dollar store and buy a small toy before returning home. My mom would always go out of her

way to make sure my sister and I had everything we needed.

In fifth grade my mom got a job at the local CVS. It was a strange transition for me to

come off of the bus just to catch my mom as she was walking down the street to work. I was

upset she that was working and she would not come home until I had already gone to bed. I

would stay up late to try to see her before I went to sleep but I would usually catch a fight

between my parents.
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 3

As the weeks went on, there was more fighting and less talking. A week before sixth

grade, my mom told my sister and I that we were moving but my dad and grandmother were

staying in our house. I was angry with her. Why did we have to leave? Couldn’t we all just get

along and live in the same house? A few weeks later we packed up and moved across town.

Our first night in the new house we slept on sleeping bags on the floor. It was weird

being an empty apartment when I was used to a house with a huge yard. I was mad at her for

making us move and I was upset with her for ruining what I thought was going just fine.

Since we had moved, she had to get a new job, and she was able to get a position in food

services in the public schools. We lived in that house for 10 years, where I shared a bedroom

with my sister. I eventually made the living room into my own space. Although it was a tight fit,

it was my space.

As a junior in college, my mom informed me more about our living situation. I knew we

lived in public housing, where our rent was based off our income. My mom was trying to work

more hours, but the more she worked the higher her rent was. She told me she was going to lose

the house and after a couple months of trying to figure it out, the eviction notice showed up on

our door step. I was mad at her again. I knew she was doing everything she could, but it was not

enough. No matter how much she tried to make things work, they never seemed to.

We moved into her boyfriend’s house that same weekend. I packed up all my stuff moved

into a house I was not so familiar with. They had been dating for seven years before we moved

in, but it was still unfamiliar. My mom would go to his house, while my sister and I stayed home

so I felt like a guest in his house, I never felt like it was ours. My mother’s boyfriend, Steve, was

a very reserved man, only saying five words to me at a time. He was a firefighter and part time

electrician and he liked doing long projects that were often left half finished. I knew I didn’t
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 4

belong in that house. I felt like I had no sense of identity and no place to call home. I tried to

make it a place where I was comfortable, but I knew it was not

We lived there for about a year before I got a call from my mom. “You need to come

home this weekend.” She sounded upset. “Why what’s wrong?” I asked, afraid of her response.

“We’re leaving; I can’t stay here anymore.” I did not really understand what she was saying.

Was Steve kicking us out? My mom said she was staying at my aunt’s house until I could come

home and help her get her things. “Mom where are we going?” I asked her, again nervous for her

response. “I don’t know, just not here.” We moved what we could into my car and moved into an

empty house owned by her co-worker.

After a couple days of moving things out, my mom slowly would tell me why she left.

Her boyfriend had tried to attack her, and she no longer felt safe in his home. I did not know

what to say to her while she told me the story. I tried to say I was sorry I was not there, that I had

no idea, but nothing came out. I just stared at her. She ended the story by saying “and now we

are fucking homeless Brianna. What the hell am I going to do?” We were squatting in a house

her co-worker was planning to flip. The floors had been ripped out, and they had started

construction. We had a recliner that was left behind, an empty bookcase, an air mattress and a

lamp. I spent my spring break that year trying to couch surf between friends, but I felt awful

leaving my mother behind. I had a college residence hall to live in for a couple of months, but

what was she going to do? She didn’t let it affect her. She continued working, picking up more

hours whenever she could. She even got a second job a BJ’s. while trying to find us a place to

live. She was strong in a time anyone else would fall apart. I was mad at her for losing the house,

for making us move, for making us homeless but I was wrong. I should’ve been proud of her for

removing herself from a dangerous situation. She did not want that house to be the place her kids
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 5

call home. I was very embarrassed about the entire situation. I did not know what to say to my

friends. I knew they would be supportive, but I was unsure how to bring it up. I remained silent

through most of the process, in hopes that things would work out in the end.

Angela Araya

When my mom started working at CVS, I would spend my afternoons with my

grandmother, Grammy. She lived in the in-law apartment upstairs. My grandmother moved to

the United States when she was in her early twenties. She and her husband were not able to

afford both of them to move, so she came to the U.S. while he stayed behind in Costa Rica until

he was able to have enough money to come be with her. Once her husband was able to move

here, she had my dad, Mario.

While he was in school and her husband was working as a mechanic, my Grammy spent

her day’s house sitting for wealthy families who would travel for work and needed someone to

take care of the house. While the house owners were away she would spend her free time

teaching herself English by watching television shows like I Love Lucy and listening to the

radio. She craved knowledge, and wanted to know English just as well as she knew Spanish.

When my parents were both working on the weekends, my sister and I would spend our

time with my grandmother at the different houses where she was house sitting for. One house

that we spent a great deal of time at was owned by Ms. O’Donnell. Ms. O’Donnell was a wealthy

woman with a large family and she had an old house that was built in the 1800’s. It had acres of

land and an abundance of animals including horses, cows and dogs. Her children had since

grown up and started families of their own, leaving the house was very empty. Being there was

like a mini vacation for my sister and me and it was the closest thing to a family vacation we

had. There was a beautiful wooden swing we would spend hours on a lot of land to explore.
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 6

Grammy always made sure my sister and I were happy and enjoying ourselves and since it was

an old house there was no cable or internet or electronics of any kind. She was always telling us

stories after dinner about how she grew up, how she met her husband and what her life was like

in Costa Rica. Her sisters were still living there and you could always tell how much she missed

them by the way her face lit up as her talked her way down memory lane. I would ask why she

did not go back after her husband died and her answer was always “because of mi Lunita y mi

Solcito,” which means my moon and sun, my sister and I. To me, she is my third parent.

Grammy loved being needed and I needed her more than she knew.

One afternoon while I was at swim practice, I got a call from my dad’s girlfriend at the

time, Malinda. “Brianna, I’m coming to pick you up,” she said sharply. “Swim practice hasn’t

even started yet,” I said, questioning her call. There was a pause before she said, “I’ll be outside

in 10 minutes, get your sister” then hanging up very abruptly. I grabbed my sister, who was more

than annoyed about missing practice and Malinda pulled up to the school where we practiced.

My sister and I shuffled quickly into the car. I looked at her and she looked at me. I tried asking

what happened but she just drove us home. Once we had pulled into the driveway, she told me

that my grandmother had a stroke while staying at Ms. O’Donnell’s house. She kept telling me

more, but everything after that was a blur. I instantly thought I lost Grammy. This was it. After a

minute I tried to refocus on what Malinda was saying. She told me she was going to pick up my

dad from the hospital, but so far Grammy was doing okay. That was the important part right?

She was okay.

After a couple days at the hospital, it was okay for me to finally go see her. I walked into

her room and instantly felt lost. Her room smelled like hand sanitizer and hospital food, and not

the Spanish rice and strong coffee I was used to. It was hard for her to talk so I tried to carry
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 7

most of the conversation. We talked about the different Spanish novelas she was watching and

we laughed at the awful plots of each episode. Even though she was in pain, she still had a smile

on her face.

About two weeks after my grandmother’s stroke, Ms. O’Donnell has a heart attack in her

home and later passed away. Although Grammy was still recovering from her stroke, she insisted

on going to the funeral. The funeral was held at her home and I told Grammy I would go with

her since Ms. O’Donnell had done so much for her. Each person we shook hands with had

similar responses. “Angela! It’s so lovely to finally meet you. Ms. O’Donnell always had such

kind things to say about you. She really considered you as part of the family.” I realized how

appreciated my grandmother was and that she was an honorary part of their family. Many of the

guest were constantly checking in with Grammy making sure she was okay and recovering well

from her stroke. They cared about Grammy just as much as I did. It did not matter if she was

related by blood, she was family.

Hugo Pineda

High school is hard for anyone and my best friend from elementary school decided to go

to boarding school. I was terrified to go into high school with no one by my side but luckily I had

made friends with Hugo, a boy who also happened to be my neighbor. We had three classes

together my first year so we grew pretty close. He was a very quiet kid, but so smart. His English

essays where so incredible, the way he was able to craft the words to say exactly what he wanted

was something I admired. In high school, though, no one cared how smart you were or what your

grades were, the only thing that mattered was how many friends you had or who you were

friends with. Hugo and I were very similar. We liked the company of others, but we were also

okay with having just one or two close friends. He was my go-to friend, no matter what the issue
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 8

was. The first two years were as bad I thought they would be. I was finding a balance between

my school work, varsity swimming, and having a social life. Finding a friend like Hugo was

something I will always be thankful for. His dad would pick us up from school every day and

bring us back to his house. His family was Guatemalan, so something was always cooking in the

kitchen and his mom frequently invited me to stay for dinner. Hugo and I would eat while slowly

trying to complete our readings for English, before walking down the street to pick his brother up

off the bus. His family was very open and I was envious.

At the time, I was living with my dad, Malinda and her three kid, four houses down from

Hugo. Our family was very independent. Malinda was a nurse and worked a lot of 3-11pm shifts,

while my dad worked early mornings and would usually be in bed at about 4pm. I was jealous

that Hugo’s family ate dinner together at the kitchen table, that they went out on family trips and

that they hung out together. I loved being a part of their family. As Hugo and I grew closer, I

grew closer to his family and I noticed that they would do anything for him. Hugo was gay, and

had a hard time coming out to his parents. He was not worried about what they would say, but he

was nervous about how they would treat him. In middle school he dealt with a lot of bullying,

causing him to switch schools halfway through 6th grade. Once he told his parents, they treated

him no different. They embraced his identity and was proud that he was able to come to them. I

realized that this is what I wanted out of a family. I wanted a close knit family, I wanted a

reliable support system, I needed it and I was jealous Hugo had it.

Alma Barillas

During my sophomore year, I was introduced to Mrs. Barillas. She is a mother of three

children and I loved listening to her talk about her children and the funny things they had done.
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 9

She was an excellent teacher on top of being a great mentor. She was the Spanish language and

literature teacher for both sophomores and juniors and since it was a language and literature

class, the class size was very small. There were only nine students in the class over the course of

two years, so we were all able to become very close. I was able to talk to her about the possibility

of colleges and how I started the application process.

Mrs. Barillas was the type of teacher that knew you were having an off day before you

knew it yourself. I was able to confide in her and I knew I could tell her things I had never told

anyone, but I still did not like opening up. Once junior year had arrived, my life felt like it was

falling apart. My father had lost his house, which meant I had to move back in with my mom.

There were only two small bedrooms, so I was living on the couch. Tensions between my parents

were building and I felt like I was constantly in the middle. I was fighting in almost all of my

friendships, and my relationship with my boyfriend was starting to fall apart. I felt like I had lost

control of my life and I did not know how to get back in the driver’s seat. I was at an all-time

low and I felt like I could not tell anyone.

I began self-harming. It was something that I felt I controlled. I was good at hiding from

my friends and parents but after a few months, Mrs. Barillas began asking me questions every

day after class. She would always ask how things were at home and if everything was okay.

Every time I would say yes, not knowing how to tell her otherwise. She would tell me that I

could tell her anything and she would be there no matter what time. She had given me her phone

number in case I ever need something after school hours. She was more than willing to help me,

but I was not ready to let her help.

One afternoon, I was having a really tough time. I felt like I was alone and nothing was

going the way it was supposed to. I walked out of my art class, and just broke down. After a
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 10

couple of minutes, I walked into Ms. Barillas class. She was just about to start teaching but I had

to talk to her. I walked in clutching my wrist with one hand and just cried. She knew exactly

what had happened before I opened my mouth. She left her class without a second thought and

walked me down to the nurse. I did not say much once I made it to the nurse’s office. I knew I

was caught, I knew they now had to make calls to my vice principal and worst, my parents. Mrs.

Barillas stayed with me for a little while in the nurse’s office, but had to return to her classes. I

spent the rest of my day ignoring my vice principal and the school’s therapist Mr. Curtis. The

vice principal gave a short speech that sounded like she took out of a handbook. I did not care

what they had to say, I just wanted to go home. Before leaving Mr. Curtis’ office, I had to agree

that I would come back every week for the remainder of the school year. I nodded while taking

the slip with my next appointment written on it, and walked to my history class. I was upset with

myself that I broke down like that but I was slightly relieved. My friends still did not know, but I

still had someone to talk to.

I was dreading going home because I knew the vice principal had already called my

mom. I went home and went straight to the couch. I heard my mom walk in so I pretended to be

asleep. She went straight upstairs; I was okay for now. I feel asleep on the couch and woke up

just as my mom was making dinner. She came into the kitchen and looked at me and said “what

happened today?” I looked back at her and said “nothing” as I opened the fridge and reached for

a water. She did not take an eye off the pan “from the call I got today it didn’t sound like

nothing” I was running out of ways to deflect her comments. “It was really nothing” I said

quickly before leaving the kitchen in a hurry. After a couple days of avoiding conversations, my

mom informed my dad of the situation and I have never seen him so angry with me. He

immediately signed me up for therapy, a recommendation made by Mr. Curtis. He drove me to

DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 11

my first appointment. On the car drive he kept talking about how selfish I was and how dare I not

think of others. It was the last thing I wanted to hear. My dad and I have had a good relationship,

but he was very cold when it came to emotions. Everything was clear and cut to him, no room to

adjust.

After a couple month of therapy sessions, I felt a little better about myself and who I was,

I knew there were some things I need to work out but I was feeling better about my daily life.

One day after Spanish class, I went up to Mrs. Barillas and thanked her. I told her how much she

had helped me, and I was thankful for that. Over the past couple of years, I have been able to

reconnect with her. Although I do not see her daily like in high school, I still consider her one of

the most important people in my life.

Kevin Romero

One afternoon in Mrs. Barillas Spanish class, we were introduced to a new student. His

name was Kevin and he had just moved from Las Vegas. I was polite, but was not interested in

making new friends. After a couple of classes, he joined Hugo and me for lunch. I was able to

learn a lot about him. He was 3 years older than I was, which in high school felt like a lifetime.

He was from El Salvador and moved to the U.S when he was nine years old. Back in Las Vegas,

he lived with his mom, his sister and his niece. Kevin had recently moved to Massachusetts to

live with his dad and Mrs. Barillas sat Kevin in the open seat next me. He seemed like a nice guy

and he was also interested in other ways that people lived their lives. He wanted to know

everything about people’s cultures and how he could relate to them. Kevin and I built a

connection, we talked a lot about our families and how his was a bit complicated.

One afternoon Kevin took me to his apartment to watch a movie. From what I remember

from his stories, he lived with his dad. When we got to the apartment, we walked up two flights
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 12

of stairs before we got to a small apartment. When you walked in you saw a large open kitchen, a

tight living room, and a bedroom at the end of the hallway. He was renting a room from a young

couple with a newborn baby. His dad did not have enough room from him at his apartment, so he

helped him find a room he could afford. We walked through the hall to a door I thought was a

closet. Behind it was another staircase. At the top was a door to the right and a door to the left.

He took his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. Inside was an air mattress, a small

television and some clothes falling off the hangers in a closet with no door. He was so

independent. He was living on his own as a junior in high school. Although he did not have

much, everything he had he earned. He was working full time, as well as trying to finish his

school career.

After a couple months of hanging out, we were in a relationship. I loved his company and

how we could talk for hours about our home lives because each was just as complicated as the

other. I knew his family life was as stressful as mine, and we could relate to each other. After

months together, I considered us family.

One afternoon he called me after getting into a fight with his landlord. His landlord then

asked him to be out of his room by the end of the month, in a week. He was upset with the

situation and did not know how he was going to find an apartment in a week. I talked to my mom

and she was willing to let him stay with her until he found a place of his own.

While he was living there he taught me how to be thankful and appreciative of everything

I had. Although my family was not perfect, it was my family. My mom had a tiny two-bedroom

apartment, but was still willing to let him live with her even if that meant things got a little

crowded. His dad was not willing to let him live there, even if that meant he had nowhere to go.

He lived with her for 4 months before he was able to find a place of his own.
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 13

We fought more and more once he moved about my family, about his family and how we

were at different points in our lives. It only took him a couple of months to realize that where he

wanted to be was home. Although he did not get along with his mother and she was the reason he

left Las Vegas, she was also the reason he wanted to go back. He wanted to be there while his

niece grew up and he wanted to be able to see his family. I was crushed when he made the move

back to Las Vegas. The person I considered my friend, my family, my boyfriend was gone. I

knew we did not have a perfect relationship, but I was desperate to hold to it because it was felt

comfortable. I was lucky enough to find comfort in friends and family, and continued to search

for new opportunities to get my mind off of what I felt I lost.

Framingham State University

Since neither of my parents attended college, I was very hesitant to attend myself. I was

very unsure of where I wanted to go or what I wanted to study. With the help of my guidance

counselor, I was able to successfully apply to six schools. Each was a state school in

Massachusetts. One of my applications went to Framingham State University, where I grew up. I

had a cousin who went there, so I went to visit. The campus was small and welcoming, but I did

not feel an overwhelming connection I was expecting to feel. It was the only school I visited, so I

chose to submit my deposit.

Throughout my first semester I felt as though I was doing college wrong. I had signed up

for a couple clubs and organizations the first week of school, but I did not find anything that I

was passionate about. I was over whelmed with classes and had not made very many friends. I

did not have the big friend groups that my friends had at other colleges. My first thought was that

I was at the wrong school, but after a couple weeks I thought I made the wrong choice in coming
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 14

to college. I was still undeclared, and was nowhere near finding a major that I could see myself

pursue a college degree in. I was overwhelmed and stressed.

As a first-generation college student, I did not feel as comfortable as I thought other

students felt. Although my parents supported my decision to attend college, they did not have the

experiences or the resources necessary to support me during my time at Framingham State.

Aside from struggling socially, I was struggling with academics. I was overwhelmed by the fast

pace courses, but did not feel like I could reach out to professors. By thanksgiving break, I was

ready to give up.

Before leaving for winter break, I met with my academic advisor. I was unsure about the

role of my advisor, and how they could help me throughout college. I expressed some of my

concerns with my school work and how unconnected I felt to the university as a whole. My

advisor listened carefully and was able to provide me other resources I was unaware of. He

pointed me in the direction of peer tutor to help with academics and the student involvement

office to see if there were any student organizations or events I was interested in. Having an

academic advisor who truly cared about my feeling and my experience inspired and encouraged

me to keep going. I decided to follow up on his advice.

After returning from winter break, I told myself I would try to step out of my comfort

zone. I was nervous but I wanted to connect with more people on campus. I began sitting in the

study lounge on my floor after I finished classes for the day. I slowly began to talk to the other

girls on my floor. We became friends. This changed my entire perception of college. I felt more

involved on campus just by having a solid group of friends that I could rely on.

With this new friend group confidence, I decided to extend my comfort zone and try a

club. I had always been interested in music so I decided to join the student run radio station
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 15

WDJM. After the first meeting, I was so excited to be a part of the club, I craved this feeling of

belonging to a group that I felt comfortable with. After being on the board for three months, I

was elected into an open executive position. With these new role, I was now a part of this

campus. I was included in decisions that effected not only our club, but the rest of the students on

campus. I identified as a student leader, and felt confident with that role.

This new role as a student leader opened my eyes to other on campus opportunities

including orientation leader, peer tutor and committee member. The more I got involved on

campus, the more accepted I was. I felt confident in my decision to go to college and couldn’t

have pictured myself making any other choice.

Part II

Sense of Belonging Theory

A trend that was very predominate in my story was a sense of belonging. Sense of

belonging for me so feeling like I could relate and identify myself to other groups of peers. I was

constantly floating between houses and groups of people and I did not have a sense of a concrete

belonging. I was jumping between all of these different feelings, and connecting to a multitude

of different people. I felt most comfortable during time where I felt I had a solid support system

and was confident in my identity and who I was. Individuals who are entering college, or go

through different stage in life can have this feeling of lack of identity, and do not feel like they fit

in to other social groups.

This theory can be applied to any kind of identity and is based off of the idea that

individuals go through four phases of belonging. Experimental, Imposter, Transitional and

Solidify are all different phases that individuals go through as they discover their sense of

identity and what social group or identity they belong to. These phases are not progressive or
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 16

permanent, individuals may go back and forth between stages at different points in their

development. These stages are dependent on an individual’s experiences and how they affect

one’s confidence in their identity. Once and individual reaches the last stage, sometimes there

can be a crisis that happens that bring the individual back to stage one.

This theory is very prominent in my story but can also be applied to other students as

they develop. Working with STEP, I see this idea of belonging very frequently in first generation

students. When first generation students are applying to college, they go through the

experimental phase. They are experimenting with the concept of going to college and what that

really entails from them.

DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 17

After students have applied to and enroll in college, the being to enter the imposter phase.

In the imposter phase, students are struggling with the idea that they possibly do not qualify to be

at a college or university. They feel like they are not competent enough to withstand college

level academics or environment.

As they navigate their way through their first semesters of college, students start to enter

the transitional phase. In this phase, they seek out resources to help their transition and being to

take on a new identity, as a college student. Once the student feels comfortable as a college

student, they start to embrace and feel confident in their identity, leading to the solidify phase.

For myself as a first generation college students, I felt all of these phases within my first

year of college. I was in the experimental stage when I was applying to colleges. I was not sure

about what I envisioned as my career path, but I was exploring my different options and possible

career choices. I entered the imposter stage when I did not have a solid support system through

my first semester. I thought I was not cut out for college and did not feel like any of my fellow

peers could relate to what I was going through. Through the transitional phase, I became more of

a self-advocate and began to reach out to other resources on campus, including my academic

advisor who helps guide me to have a successful first year. Once I was able to use those

resources I felt comfortable not only as a student but as a first generation student. In the solidify

phase, I was more comfortable with my identity and was able to feel like I belonged on campus

as a college student.

After I felt comfortable on campus, a crisis that set me back to the experimental phase

was a poor grade in a class. I was struggling in a course, where I was finding it hard to get any

grade above a D. The became a crisis for me because no matter how hard I tried to be a good

student, I was working thirty hours a week while trying to maintain good grades. This brought
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 18

me back to the experimental phase because I was starting to question whether or not I belonged

in a college setting. Although I was starting to feel comfortable on campus, my academic

performance was a concern of mine that I did not see my fellow peers struggling with.

Throughout my story, I go through many of these phases multiple times. Because the

theory is not permanent, I was able to go through different phases at different times in my life.

When my mom had a place of her own, I was in the solidify phase. I was comfortable in my

home and knew who I was and where my life was going. My phase of development changed

when we were evicted. For me, that was crisis that brought me back to phase one. When my

mother moved us into her boyfriend’s house, I was in the imposter phase. I did not feel like I

belonged in that house. I did not have a sense of my identity because I was living in the homes of

others. I did not have a place to call my own and I knew I did not belong there. Once my mom

was able to regain a place of her own, I moved back into the transition phase. I was still adjusting

to my new sense of identity, and was able to seek out other resources to help me along the way.

My friends at school were able to provide me with the support I needed to regain my confidence

in who I was and moving into a new living situation.

When I was in struggling with my mental health in high school, I was constantly drifting

between the experimental and imposter phase. Although I had resources through Mrs. Barillas, I

was not assertive enough to seek out those resources. I was an imposter because I did not have a

sense of belonging within my social circle, and was not confident in my identity. In the

experimental phase, I was still trying to decide where I felt I belonged, and what sort of identity I

was looking for. As I bounced between the two phases, I strived for the transitional phase. I

wanted to feel like I belonged to a certain individuality.

DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 19

Part III

One theory that is similar to the idea of belonging is Kegan’s Theory of Evolution of the

Consciousness. His second order and third order can directly relate to some of the stages in the

Sense of Belonging Theory although my theory and Kegan’s place the orders or phases in a

different sequence.

The second order, Imperial, talks about the idea of where individuals start to develop a

sense of who they are and what they want (Patton et al.). That is very similar to the Transitional

phase. This phases allows students to accept their identities and relate to other peers who have

their share their identity. The second order is motivated by ones’ desires and directly relates to

the transitional phase because individuals are beginning to find their own identities and adapt

into those identities based on their wants and yearnings (Patton et al.).

Kegan’s third order, Interpersonal, talks about the idea of acceptance by others (Patton et

al.). This is prominent in the Experimental phase. Individuals in the experimental phase are

looking for acceptance by those around them. They want to be feel like they belong to a part of a

group or identity. Kegan explains that in this order individuals are defined by their group (Patton

et al.). This is a key part of the experimental phase and how students begin to form a sense of

confidence within their identity (Patton et al.). Although Kegan puts the orders in a different

order that the Sense of Belonging theory, Kegan’s theory focuses more on how the environment

affect their development.

Another theory that is similar its Erikson’s Identity Development Theory. In stage five of

this theory, Identity versus Identity Diffusion, he discusses the idea that individuals are

becoming more independent and are dealing with the idea of figuring out who they are and what

their desires are (Patton et al.). Individuals in this stage are looking to self-define, and assume an
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 20

identity (Patton et al.). This is similar to the experimental phase, and when students start to

question their identity and being to crave that acceptance by others and their self. In stage six,

Intimacy versus Isolation, Erikson mentioned the establishing committed relationships with

others (Patton et al.). This related to the Transitional phase, and how individuals seek out the

relationships that are resources to them to accept their identity and sense of belonging.

Although there were theories that related to the transitional and experimental phase, there

are not many theories that mention similar ideas to the imposter phase, and how students who

have doubts about their identity feel at that stage of development. There are many theories that
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 21

discuss the idea of forming and discovering identity, but not discussing students who may feel

misplaced or like they do not belong.

Another theory that influenced the Sense of Belonging theory is Josselson’s Theory of

Women’s Development. Once an individual has reaches the solidify phase, it is possible of the

individual to experience a crisis that reverts them back to the experimental phase. Through

Josselson’s theory woman who go through crisis maybe have trouble committing to an identity

(Patton et al.). This crisis pushes the students back to the experimental phase where they are

exploring possible identities and trying to find where they feel a connection. Josselson explains

that women who do not experience crisis are more committed to their identity (Patton et al.).

This allows women to stay within the solidify phase and feel a connection to their identity.

The Sense of Belonging theory was able to join together theories developed by Kegan,

Erikson, and Josselson. These theories combined can explain the challenges and obstacles that

many student face before and during their college journey. Although students may beginning to

discover their identity at different phases in their life, many students go through similar phases

where they are struggling to find their identity and where they belong.
DEVELOPING A SENSE OF BELONGING 22

References

Patton, L.D., Renn, K.A., Guido, F.M., & Ouaye, S.J. (2016). Student development in college:

Theory, research, and practice (3rd ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.