February 2014 | Volume 14

The Speechwriter
EUROPEAN
Newsletter of the UK Speechwriters' Guild incorporating
SPEECHWRITER
NETWORK

MASTERCLASS by Dick Mullender

Welcome
Welcome to the fourteenth Dick Mullender was the Lead Trainer at the National Crisis &
edition of The Speechwriter Hostage Negotiation Unit for the UK Police in Scotland Yard.
newsletter. The purpose of He has written a book Communication Secrets of a Hostage
this publication is to circulate Negotiator.
examples of excellent speeches to
members of the UK Speechwriters’
Guild. We do this by picking out
openings, closings, one-liners
and quotations and other topical
extracts from newspapers and the
internet to identify techniques,
stimulate your imagination and
provide models which you can
emulate.

This newsletter appears

quarterly and is available to

anyone who is a Standard
Member of the UK Speechwriters’
Guild or the European
Speechwriter Network.
Contribute
We welcome book reviews,
speeches and articles for the
magazine. Every contribution
published gets a £10 Amazon
token. Please send your
submissions to:
8 info@ukspeechwritersguild.co.uk
I
don’t persuade a person
because I use my words, I
persuade a person because I use
theirs.
Everyone is different. You have to
get inside their head and work them
out.
The moment I understand your
values, I can impose my values on
you.
Body language is a waste of time.
The words that come out of your
mouth are more revealing. You reveal
secrets every time you open your
mouth.
I don’t believe in empathy.
You can’t know what it’s like to be
someone else. Use the words they
use.
‘If you’re working abroad, ask
your interpreter - what are the five
dumbest things I could do?’ And then
don’t do them.
To present, write and share
language - first work out the
thoughts of the audience.
Contrary to popular belief asking
questions is not the best way to get
information - it’s just one way.
By not interrupting, comparing
or finishing sentences, we are
sending a subconscious signal to the
speaker that what they are saying is
important.
The tone of voice a person uses to
tell a story, recount a grievance or tell
another that they love them, reveals
the true meaning behind the words.
Dick Mullender will be running
a session at the Speechwriters &
Business Communicators Conference
in Oxford on 3 & 4 April 2013.

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The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
BOOK REVIEWS
The Elements of
Eloquence
by Mark Forsyth
Icon Books, 2013, £12.99
by Alan Barker
M ark Forsyth’s The Elements
of Eloquence differs from his
previous bestsellers in two respects.
First, it’s 50 pages shorter than either
The Etymologicon or The Horologicon,
which works to its advantage.
Secondly, it does more than
catalogue a set of obscure linguistic
facts entertainingly. This book might
actually be useful.
The title is something of a
misnomer. Forsyth himself admits
that the figures of speech aren’t really
the core components of eloquence,
but only “one tiny, tiny aspect of
rhetoric.” The descriptive metaphor,
historically, has been not so much
chemical as botanical: the figures
are ‘the flowers of rhetoric’, vivid
ornaments that attract the attention
and seduce the listener.
They have a certain notoriety. For
a start, how many figures are there?
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The Rhetorica ad Herrenium lists 65.
Quintilian deals with about 96 (some
figures look confusingly similar to
others). In their heyday, however, the
number rocketed. Susenbrotus, in his
popular manual of 1540, offered 132;
thirty years later, Henry Peacham’s
The Garden of Eloquence (that
metaphor again) included no fewer
than 184.
In Renaissance society, the figures
were promoted by the Humanists as
essential tools of social advancement.
Tudor schoolboys were drilled in
them relentlessly; would-be courtiers
used them, rather as jazzers use licks,
to fill the spaces of their conversation
with ready-made wit. The figures
helped you cut a figure. That’s why
Shakespeare used them: the figures
are inherently dramatic.
We moderns tend to neglect
them.
Forsyth offers three plausible
reasons: we prefer to teach
information and technical skill rather
than linguistic craft; we distrust
rhetoric; and we labour under a
confused notion of authenticity
inherited from the Romantics, which
makes the figures seem hopelessly
artificial. But we continue to use
them, haphazardly.
Every memorable line – in a pop
song, a speech or an advertising
jingle – uses one or other of the
figures. The figure is what makes
the line memorable. And we use
them in our own conversations. The
better acquainted we become with
the figures, the more likely we shall
be to use them well – which is what
Forsyth wants us to do. “These figures
grow like wildflowers,” writes Forsyth,
“but they can be cultivated too.”
Offer us too many, however,
and we become befuddled. (The
impenetrable Greek names don’t
help.) Forsyth discusses about 38,
though he mentions more without
explaining them. This puts him on a
par with Jay Heinrichs, whose recent
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Word Hero covers about the same
number. Max Atkinson, in Lend Me
Your Ears, concentrates on just three.
The best strategy in becoming
better figure-users may be to collect
them, like specimens. We could
start with Atkinson’s core triad:
antithesis, tricolon and the rhetorical
question (of which Forsyth lists no
fewer than 16 variants, although
he discusses only about seven). It’s
easy enough to spot metaphor, irony
and isocolon (all those bullet lists in
parallel construction); listen to a few
speeches and presentations, and
you’ll soon find chiasmus, and even
anaphora (“the king of rhetorical
figures,” claims Forsyth). Point them
out and users will be intrigued, not
to say flattered; suggest that they use
them consciously, and they’ll soon
develop the taste to use them well.
Forsyth has written an
entertaining field guide. Thorough,
he isn’t (which is, I suppose,
hyperbaton). He resolutely avoids
any talk of classification: no tropes
or schemes here (scesis onomaton).
He provides the shortest of reading
lists, and no index (which makes
the asking price of £12.99 look a bit
steep). But then, unlike Heinrichs or
Atkinson, he has no overt didactic
aim. As a result, he treats the subject
more fully than Atkinson and more
elegantly than Heinrichs. If you really
want to up your game in figure-
spotting (anthimeria, m’lud), you
probably need all three.
The Speech: The Story
Behind Martin Luther
King’s Dream
By Gary Younge
Guardian Books, 2013, £6.99
by Rodger Evans
T he story of how Dr King’s
immortal oration came to be is
one of fortitude, intrigue and Marlon
Brando brandishing a cattle prod.
The Wild One’s role is but a walk-on
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
part in a twinkling cast that includes
JFK, Harry Belafonte, Rosa Parks,
James Baldwin, Bob Dylan, Stevie
Wonder, Barack Obama, Shakespeare
and God (c/o the Old Testament). Yet
there’s no doubting the most stellar
presence.
“Though he was extremely well
known before he stepped up to the
lectern,” said his aid Clarence Jones,
“he stepped down on the other side of
history”. King’s was the final address
at the March for Jobs and Freedom in
Washington DC on August 28 1963.
By the year’s end Time magazine
anointed him Man of the Year and
12 months later the Nobel Peace
Prize carried his name. At the time
of his murder in 1968, however, his
star could be found in the gutter
– literally so; he was in Memphis
supporting striking garbage workers.
His anti-poverty campaigning and
outspokenness against militarism
led to him being shunned by
mainstream America.
How then MLK’s reputation
and this particular speech came
to be revisited, co-opted, misread,
sanitised, and, 50 years on, sanctified
should be a fascinating tale. It is.
The author, a Guardian journalist
relocated to the US, has immersed
himself in the back pages – as well
as what King termed “the fierce
urgency of now” – of the civil rights
TELL A STORY
J effrey Zeig
in A Teaching
Seminar with Milton
H. Erickson, lists
some of the values
of using anecdotes
in therapy as
follows:
1 Anecdotes are non-
threatening
2 Anecdotes are engaging
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movement. Younge’s research is
meticulous, his narrative compelling
and the analysis not without
detachment. If there’s a flaw in the
speech, he suggests, it lies in the
absence of detail – the Promised
Land can be glimpsed but the
directions are sketchy. But evidently
he believes in King’s dream. As
Baldwin wrote: “…perhaps we could
make the kingdom real, perhaps the
beloved community would not forever
remain that dream one dreamed in
agony.”
And that belief is what enables
him to place the reader centre stage
before 210,000 demonstrators, black
and white, in the shadow of the
3 Anecdotes foster
independence: the individual
needs to make sense out of
the message and then come
to a self-initiated conclusion
or a self-initiated action
4 Anecdotes can be used to
bypass natural resistance to
change
5 Anecdotes can be used to
control the relationship
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Lincoln Memorial. Perhaps not on the
podium, that would be something
else, but close enough to share a
coke with Paul Newman and hear the
gospel singer Mahalia Jackson twice
exhorting her friend: “Tell them about
the dream, Martin”.
Here’s the crux. When advance
copies of That Speech were circulated
to colleagues and the press, the
Dream segment didn’t feature. “It’s
trite, it’s cliché,” one adviser told him.
Whether he always intended to
discount that view or spontaneity
took hold is impossible to say.
What’s clear is that nobody today
refers to The Bad Cheque Speech
(another metaphor deployed on
the way to the mountain top)
or The International Association
for The Advancement of Creative
Dissatisfaction Speech (a line he
wisely chose to skip).
King transports us, then as now,
with imagery, rhythm and intensity.
And when he reaches that third
and final “Free at last!”, well, you
half expect that white marble giant
of the sixteenth President of the
United States to leap up and lead the
ovation.
Rodger Evans works for the Scottish
Parliament
6 Anecdotes model flexibility
7 Anecdotes can create
confusion and promote
hypnotic responsiveness
8 Anecdotes tag the memory -
“they make the presented idea
more memorable.”
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
THOUGHTS FROM THE JOKESMITH: ON
USING HUMOUR
For many years Ed McManus edited a quarterly comedy
newsletter for business and professional speakers called The
Jokesmith. He looks back on his career.
I t is a complicated, diverse,
politically correct, world. Also,
there are ethical considerations,
security issues, and people who sit
there waiting to take offence. Some
speakers worry that humour in a
presentation is like tap dancing in a
minefield: risky.
I understand. I have written for
some key people since I started The
Jokesmith in 1984. I identify with
Will Sommers, court fool to Henry
VIII. Henry fancied himself quite
the wit. He demanded that Will be
funny – but, if the joke went wrong,
poor Will would have a bad day.
However, it never happened. Will
was a professional. He brought to
the selection of his humour the same
common sense, good judgment,
consideration, and awareness of
his audience that he brought to
surviving all the other challenges
of his world. He kept his head, and
retired old and honoured.
A Pentagon official once told
me that he conducted a top-secret
briefing and used a story from The
Jokesmith to lighten the mood. After
his talk, a student approached and
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asked him to tell that joke again.
The student wanted to tell the joke
to his friends, but wanted to stay
away from anything that smacked
of disclosing classified information.
Who would have thought of that
one? The good news is that I got
another subscriber.
Some speakers worry that
humour might diminish the dignity
of their office. Some very dignified
people used humour in their talks.
I think of JFK, Churchill, Pope
John XXIII, Ronald Reagan, Queen
Elizabeth II, and Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln skirted the ethical issue. He
quoted from comic authors of his
time without crediting the writer.
Once, a reporter tried to trap the
president by asking if he composed
the funny lines that he used. Lincoln
laughed. ‘Of course not,’ he said, ‘I’m a
performer, not a playwright.’
Once, years ago, Queen Elizabeth
II toured New Zealand. An extremist
tried to get her attention in a rude
and dangerous way. He threw an
egg. It splattered the Queen in a very
unseemly way. The next morning, Her
Majesty addressed the New Zealand
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4
legislature. She began this way:
‘While I do enjoy the occasional egg, I
prefer it with my breakfast meal.’ That
was a joke. The Queen of England
told a joke, and the wonder of it, like
Samuel Johnson’s talking dog, was
not that it was done well, but that it
was done at all.
Consider: The Head of State had
been humiliated. She knew everyone
was waiting to see her reaction:
Threats and reprisals? Tears and
a shortened agenda? Off with ‘is
blinkin’ ‘ead? No! The Queen settled
the matter with a little joke. She
dealt with the issue up front, put it
behind her with humour and good
grace, and moved on. She showed
that the Queen of England is human
and sensitive. She displayed what a
leader is all about: dignity, strength,
and courage in the face of ill will.
If a little well-placed humour can
work for the Pentagon, Henry VIII, the
Pope, Abraham Lincoln and Queen
Elizabeth II – it can work for you
also. And, if you happen to use the
occasional joke that isn’t funny – well,
at least no one is going to laugh at
you.
I’ll close with my favorite
speechwriters’ joke: a certain
speechwriter worked diligently
to give his principal a memorable
speech for a very important
audience. The speechwriter could
not attend the event and afterward
asked his principal how it all went
down.
The principal replied: ‘It was a
mixed reaction. You opened strong,
built to a powerful mid-section,
but after that it got repetitious and,
frankly, a bit tedious.’
The speechwriter thought for a
moment, and then said, ‘Sir, I gave
you two copies of that speech.’
Ed McManus
The Jokesmith
Email: Jokesmith1@aol.com
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
LIKEABILITY - THE MOST IMPORTANT
TRAIT IN A SPEAKER by Brian Jenner
B lake Snyder
wrote a book
on screenwriting called
Save the Cat. In it he
bemoaned the loss of
the ‘Save the Cat’ scene.
He said they’ve stopped
putting it in films. It’s
the scene where we
meet the hero, and the
hero does something
- like saving a cat - that
defines who he is and
makes us, the audience,
like him. It’s the scene that makes
you root for the character.
One of the easiest things for a
politician or a business leader doing
routine speeches is to forget how
important it is to be liked. A good
speechwriter will put a ‘Save the Cat’
line in the first couple of paragraphs
of every speech.
The psychologist, Robert Cialdini,
lists physical attractiveness, similarity,
compliments and association as key
traits that make people likeable.
We know from TV that we like to
watch beautiful people. Hence Boris
Johnson was told to lose weight
for his Mayoral campaign by his
advisor, Lynton Crosby. We prefer our
politicians without paunches.
Margaret Thatcher used her
experiences as a housewife to say
‘I’m just like you’ and to persuade
people a national economy is just like
a household budget. UKIP leader,
Nigel Farage, used his pint of beer as
a symbol of how he’s more like the
ordinary man, than another one of
those lying politicians.
The former Chief Rabbi would pay
warm compliments to the institution
and key characters hosting him
before starting his speech. George
W Bush used a technique of pointing
to someone in the audience and
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THE VISUALISER
I recently attended the first
conference organised by the
acknowledging them as
a devious way of creating
rapport.
Professional Copywriters’ Association.
For the first time I saw a Visualiser
in action. It allowed chalk and talk
Comedians often tell the using a projector. It was a Lumens
audience how great they PS760, which retails at about £1,700.
are. Guy Browning has a line,
‘It’s very rare that I talk to an
audience as good-looking
and intelligent as this one.
Hands up who is sitting next
to someone good-looking
and intelligent?’ This has
the benefit of flattering the
audience, and getting them involved.
Sporting success is something
that people feel deep emotions
about. So it’s smart to associate
yourself with any recent national
victories. The advertising guru, Dave Trott,
used it to draw small cartoons and it
Daniel Pink described how he worked extremely well.
used local knowledge to endear
Al Gore to audiences. ‘…say he Brian Jenner
was speaking in Sheboygan,
Wisconsin. We’d find out the most
popular coffee shop in Sheboygan
and its most popular pastry. Then ALEXANDER
somewhere in the speech, we’d FLEMING
include a place for him to say matter-
of-factly, ‘If you’re talking about
health care down at Charley Café’s
– and maybe eating one of those
I n his series
Pain, Pus
and Poison,
cherry-walnut scones – you might
Michael Mosley
wonder whether our Medicare plan
discussed the
covers.’ People love that sort of touch.
discovery of
Homework pays.’
penicillin by
Sir Alexander
You want to avoid delivering
Fleming.
bad news. Cialdini talks about a
weatherman who got death threats
While Fleming made the
because the rain wouldn’t stop. Isaac
discovery that penicillin mould could
Asimov pinpointed the reasons why
kill bacteria, his idea was not taken
likeability reaches so deep.
up for over a decade later.
‘All things being equal, you root
Mosley blamed this on the fact
for your own sex, your own culture,
that Fleming was a terrible public
your own locality…and what you
speaker and so did not communicate
want to prove is that you are better
his discovery effectively.
than the other person. Whomever
you root for represents you and
when he wins, you win.’
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The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
WOMEN IN PUBLIC LIFE: SPEECHES AND SPEECHWRITING
Lady Fiona Montagu made this speech at Portcullis House as part of Parliament Week on 20 November 2013
G ood evening everyone,
I believe in the
power of speech, and colourful
communication; it’s a deeply
personal skill. A skill that has the
power to make things happen, create
a vision, change people’s lives for the
better, both locally and globally. We
have all been given a stage, in this
lifetime, to be of service to humanity
... OR NOT
When I married Lord Montagu
almost 40 years ago Beaulieu in
Hampshire became MY stage. Not
only do I have to handle parts of
the visitor business effectively and
graciously, like publicity, hosting
and promotion, often seven days a
week – I am never knowingly NOT
promoting the Old Homestead.
However my particular passion is
education, so ... with that hat on I
need to be an effective fundraiser
for our education schemes in
this glorious corner of England.
Fundraising is the bane of my life
... I am sure some of you here this
evening chime with my feelings in
that direction.
To extract cash or favours from
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wealthy folk and organisations
requires many skills and a deeply
devious, or should I say pragmatic,
set of tools. And none of these
really work if you do not have the
assurance to be fluent, and hopefully
funny, in your strategy and delivery.
Thus, very swiftly after
my marriage vows, I found a
Toastmasters Club that met within
walking distance of our London flat!
I am deeply lazy, so this was perfect;
it was meant to be. The glorious
thing about Toastmasters is that you
are thrown in with people whose
speaking skills are mixed; many are
far from perfect, so there is no need
to feel wretched and foolish as you
stand there squirming, for the first
few times, mind BLANK, hoping for
an early death.
I also attempt, globally and
locally, via The Club of Budapest,
to generally make the world a
better place. We build bridges
of understanding, co-operation
and goodwill, hopefully inspiring,
on our troubled planet, many
people to grow in the fabric of
their consciousness; to accept
the interconnectedness and
interdependence of all creatures in
the embrace of living nature. I have
spoken in various countries along
these lines and, while I am not that
eloquent, I have no fear of hopping
up to a lectern and addressing
absolutely any audience. For this I
thank Toastmasters.
I also learned that the thing to
remember is that the audience is on
your side! They want you to succeed,
give a dazzling speech, entertain not
bore them ridged! They are NOT the
Enemy. Their time is precious, don’t
waste it with nervous, painful, stilted
drivel! And if you are easy with
telling jokes that is fine, and if you are
not, avoid them at all costs!
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One is always pathetically grateful
for even mild applause. Some smart
philosopher once said ‘the clapping
of but one person is of considerable
significance’. I cling to that pearl of
wisdom.
I remember when Jonathan my
son was small, about seven years old.
I gave a birthday dinner in Palace
House and one of the guests was
Tommy Steele. I wanted Jonathan to
entertain us, before dinner, on the
piano. He was very shy, but Tommy
persuaded him to tinkle the ivories.
LOUD applause! Jonathan was away!
Eventually Tommy went up to him
and said ‘As an entertainer, you
also have to know when to STOP’.
Applause can be so intoxicating
and gratifying – even if not entirely
warranted.
Most people’s speaking skills are
so poor that if you give a speech
that is barely halfway OK the
audience will smother you with
underserved praise. This is a good
feeling and wipes away the terror
and humiliation of those early days at
Toastmasters.
There is a marvellous and
terrifying section of the Toastmasters’
class which is called table topics. With
zero preparation you have to hop up
and speak for a few minutes on any
subject thrown at you. Here you learn
to hone skills of deep deviousness ie
swing the topic onto something you
do know about, or did today and can
therefore chat on about... Of course
this is cheating, but what the hell, at
least you’re not tongue-tied !
I learned the POWER ... of an
effective pause ... I learned not to
dress so outrageously that no one
present focused on the golden
words that fell from my lips. I learned,
when assessing others’ speeches, to
commend, recommend, commend,
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14 7

Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild

so that vulnerability is soothed, and
bravery restored. I learned to listen
attentively to other speakers and
refer to points that they made. I
learned to dare to be different; but
not too self indulgently rattle on
and on. Others, far more interesting
and accomplished than I, need their
moment in the sun.
I have never achieved
speechmaking without notes but
heck, who’s perfect?
I remember the first time I
watched Brian Jenner speak. He was
HOPELESS, REASSURINGLY hopeless!
And now he is a total STAR up on that
stage. However, he was always funny
– in a Woody Allen kind of way – and
this is a priceless gift.
So mes amis, courage! Grip the
nettle of public speaking; embrace
the path of effective, memorable
speechmaking It can be a roller
coaster ride, but FUN and maybe,
just maybe, you WILL make a
significant difference is some one’s
life. I am an optimist - a pragmatic
Utopian, or a Utopian pragmatist.
I believe in life you can be an
optimist or a pessimist, and it is quite
likely you may end up at the same
destination, but if you have been an
optimist you will most certainly have
had A BETTER RIDE.

RHETORBORES heterogeneity across households

Household Heterogeneity and the Transmission Mechanism
Dinner speech by Peter Praet,
Member of the Executive Board
of the ECB, ECB Conference
on Household Finance and
and differences in institutions and
shocks can affect the functioning
of the transmission mechanism
of monetary policy. It is also of
income, indicators of
relevance for financial stability.
financial pressure, etc.
By covering 62,000
Of key interest to central bankers
households, it is
is the question as to how shocks –
representative of 15
including unexpected changes in
euro area countries,
incomes, interest rates and asset
and I understand that
prices – are transmitted in the overall
plans to conduct the
economy. The survey can bring
HFCS in the next wave
new insights into how individual
are well advanced
households are affected by economic
in the two, and soon
shocks, with due consideration
three, remaining
of their demographic and socio-
euro area countries.
economic characteristics, as well as
We hope the new
of the current phase of their life cycle,
dataset will encourage
their income, assets or liabilities, etc.
research on household
heterogeneity and household
finance, in particular from a cross- COURAGE
country perspective.

Consumption, Frankfurt am Main,
17 October 2013.
D istinguished members of
academia, dear colleagues:
Thank you for contributing to
the ECB Conference on Household
Finance and Consumption.
As you know, the Eurosystem
has recently released the Household
Finance and Consumption Survey
(HFCS) to researchers, a new dataset
which gives detailed, household-level
information on the cross-sectional
distribution of assets, liabilities,
I
f this life be
The central theme of this
not a real
conference – already the third on the
fight, in which
topic that the ECB has organised over
the past five years – is that individual
households are heterogeneous
something is
eternally gained
for the universe
in many respects and that it is
by success, it
important to measure and analyse
is no better
this heterogeneity because it can
than a game of
have important implications for
private theatricals from which one
aggregate figures.
may withdraw at will. But it feels
like a real fight – as if there were
Some of these implications are
something really wild in the universe
of interest not only to the research
which we, with all our idealities and
community, but also to policy-
faithfulnesses, are needed to redeem.
makers at central banks. This is
because the interplay between the
William James

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The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS?
William Cohen analyses the Wolf of Wall Street
M artin Scorsese’s new film
Wolf of Wall Street has
been described as three hours
of uninterrupted corruption and
debauchery. What are the features of
that debauchery? You see characters
taking drugs, going to lap dancing
clubs and listening to motivational
speeches.
How did motivational speaking
get in there?
Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jordan
Belfort, a naive young trader who
gets to Wall Street and learns some
of the sophisticated sales techniques
in a smart firm. Then his firm goes
bust. He loses his job and ends up
at a grubby outfit selling penny
shares, where he applies his blue-
chip techniques to gull to blue-collar
workers.
He’s so successful, he sets up on
his own and trains the staff to use his
techniques to expand the racket on
a huge scale. He generates limitless
money for big houses, cars, a yacht,
a helicopter and copious amounts of
drugs. He achieves because he has
the great American gift: persuasion.
Watching it as a speechwriter,
you notice he’s got all the tools in
W W W. U K S P E E C H W R I T E R S G U I L D . C O . U K
the toolbox. He uses humour, he tells
stories, he has a sense of drama, he
has a vision and he motivates his
colleagues to take specific actions
(pick up the phone), but it’s all for
illegal ends.
The real Jordan Belfort, after
going to jail, now works as a
motivational speaker and sales
trainer. He’s a changed man, eager to
insist that he believes only in ethical
persuasion.
Why do such characters make us
feel so uncomfortable?
Belfort overcomes some of the
objections in his presentations. He
talks about how his parents wanted
him to be a dentist, but he eschewed
that to become a salesman. His
parents viewed being a salesman
as being a slime bucket. He argues
that’s why his parents never had any
money.
Belfort’s enthusiasm is infectious.
He’s honest and funny. He mocks
poor sales people and tells stories
about how some are ducks waddling
around leading weak, disempowered
lives and others are eagles soaring to
amazing heights.
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Our parents teach us to beware
of sales people. It’s wrong to buy too
many things. Belfort argues that it’s
only limited people who don’t like
spending money. It’s good to have
nice things.
Yes, you might be conned, but
isn’t being conned the first step into
understanding that we only learn by
testing out other people’s promises.
The most effective sales people
manipulate our own greed and use it
against us.
Does that make motivational
speaking and selling despicable?
If you buy a newfangled kitchen
gadget, it might end up in the back
of the cupboard, but it might prove
incredibly useful. Often we can’t
tell, but we’re more keen to avoid
mistakes than make new discoveries.
Some British film critics see
nothing to like about the Leonardo
DiCaprio character whatsoever. Well
there is the boundless energy, and
the philosophy that life isn’t perhaps
about being clean and respectable,
but getting dirty and finding out
where the real value lies.
Perhaps the most uncomfortable
bit about American capitalism is that
it’s a religion. It’s a faith that you’ve
got to live. The Americans have more
respect for upstarts who make a
mess and then redeem themselves.
The British prefer a society where
everyone knows their place.
A good motivational speaker
urges people to take action to
change their lives using promises of
success. Most people aren’t prepared
to invest the energy and endure
the pain and disappointment that’s
involved in getting to that place.
That’s probably why we find these
speakers attractive and repulsive in
equal measure.
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14 9

Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild

TRADE SECRETS

The UK Speechwriters’ Guild has published its first book:

Trade Secrets, Jokes, stories and quotations for desperate
speechwriters in 2014.
‘This is a pilot project which the Guild intends to become an annual
publication, featuring the best lines nominated by its members during the
year.’ said the compiler Brian Jenner.

‘Most people, when they stand up in public to speak deliver too much
information, in a dry way, often illustrated by poor PowerPoint slides. At
the Guild, we champion persuasion, which involves having a conversation
with an audience and motivating them to change something. As one
quotation from a former Israeli Prime Minister put it:

After being 60 years in politics, I lost my taste for management. I believe to

inspire is more important than to manage.’

The book is based on the same principle as the late Bob Monkhouse’s
famous joke books.

‘You need to store up your best lines, and then be able to find them on the
right occasion. Audiences appreciate even a little humour. Something like,
‘My last talk was to the British Haemorrhoid Association. I got a standing
ovation’’.

‘Some people think that one-liners are a tired way to entertain audiences.
It depends. The skill of a speechwriter is to take an old joke and repackage
it. By giving it a new coat of paint, you’re updating it for a contemporary
audience. Making audiences laugh is a fiendishly difficult thing to do, but
if you can adapt familiar rhythms, you’ll find the audience will grasp the
joke. I’ve been amazed watching top dramas like The Sopranos and Six Feet
Under how they weave old jokes into their scripts.’

‘This is a great way to promote the Guild to outside organisations. We’ve

sent copies to Boris Johnson, the former Chief Rabbi, Lord Patten, and
Government communications people. We can add a little colour to those
dry corners of public debate.’

‘The rule for the 2015 publication will be that any member of the Guild
can submit a line that either they’ve put in a speech and worked with an
audience, or one that they’ve heard someone deliver successfully at an
event. All contributions will be acknowledged and maybe we can market
next year’s book as a stocking filler.’

Design and typesetting was done by Rob Havill of Europa Studio and the
book was published through Lulu.com.

Every paid-up member of the UK Speechwriters’ Guild and European

Speechwriter Network should have received their copy over the Christmas
period.

W W W. U K S P E E C H W R I T E R S G U I L D . C O . U K • INFO@UKSPEECHWRITERSGUILD.CO.UK
The Speechwriter February 2014 | Volume 14
Newsletter of The UK Speechwriters’ Guild
INTERVIEW WITH JAN SONNEVELD
Speechwriter at the Dutch Ministry of Infrastructure and the Environment
What was the first speech you
ever wrote?
I think the first thing that qualified
as a speech was in a debate class,
while studying journalism. The very
first ‘professional’ one was a speech
on road works, in July 2010. At the
time, I worked in communications,
wrote short stories for literary
magazines and was tangled up in a
failed attempt to finish a novel.
What are you hoping
to experience at the Ragan
Communications conference in
Washington?
First, every speechwriting
conference is like a support
group. I need to hear and learn
from other speechwriters about
their good and bad experiences.
Second, I’m interested to hear
about speechwriting culture in the
United States. Third, it’s a very nice
opportunity to hear Jon Favreau
speak about his experiences and his
vision on the trade.
Have you given many speeches
of your own?
Not much, apart from debate
class in college and practising
some of my speeches aloud. And I
sometimes lead services in a small
church, helping me to lose stage
fright.
Do you see a connection
between speechwriting and
psychoanalysis?
I know from experience
that in both speechwriting and
psychoanalysis it can be difficult and
scary to get to the core of the issue.
But once you get there, it’s truly
liberating.
W W W. U K S P E E C H W R I T E R S G U I L D . C O . U K
What font do you use for your
scripts?
Cambria and Verdana
size 10-12.
How does it feel to be Dutch?
How do you view yourselves vis-à-
vis France, Germany and Britain?
My college history professor
stated that the Dutch have their
origins as ‘marsh-Germans on the
North Sea shore’. Later on, the
Dutch have been at war with all
three countries you named, but also
fought alongside them as allies. Deep
down we think we’re a great people,
but we also love to hate ourselves.
And we’re jealous: of the French for
the country and the cuisine, of the
Germans for their groundedness and
‘gründlichkeit’ and of the British for
their history and style. So how does
it feel to be Dutch? ‘Fickle’ is probably
my best attempt at an answer.
Would you consider a political
career of your own?
No. I’m comfortable supporting
and advising others with thoughts,
ideas and words.
Which British writers do you
admire?
W.H. Auden, Julian Barnes, G.K.
Chesterton, Graham Greene, C.S.
Lewis, Ian McEwan.
What makes you jealous of other
speechwriters in a team?
Creativity, being well-read, a large
vocabulary and storytelling abilities.
Have you written for female
politicians? Is there any difference?
I wouldn’t know, to tell you the
truth. Both the minister and state
secretary are women, so I don’t write
for men that often. Strangely, I hardly
realized this until Denise Graveline’s
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10
talk ‘The Lady Vanishes’ at the
speechwriting conference in London,
last May.
What’s your favourite reference
book?
There’s a very good book called
A new world; The Netherlands in the
19th century, which I often browse
for stories. On speechwriting I love
On Speaking Well by Peggy Noonan
and White House Ghosts by Robert
Schlesinger. On writing in general I
recommend a strange, meditative
gem by Annie Dillard, called The
Writing Life.
Is it easy to write a blog in a
foreign language? When did you
first start learning English? What
good things have come from
writing your blog?
To me, writing is the best way
of thinking. Every year I write about
10 speeches in English, so I need
to keep up my English language
skills by reading and writing. The
blog is a great way to do that, to
‘digest’ thoughts and ideas on the
trade and to get in touch with fellow
speechwriters. I’m still wondering,
though, how the blog combines with
the speechwriter’s traditional ‘passion
for anonymity’. From the age of 10,
I had weekly English classes for ten
years.
Can you give us any tips how to
make memorable speeches about
the environment?
Always try to turn dry facts into
a personal story, however hard it
may be. But doesn’t that go for every
topic?
The Speechwriter is edited by Brian
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