Figueroa 1

Isabel Figueroa

Professor S. Huerta

English 1S

7 November 2017

The “Myth” of Model Family

The “myth” of the model family, are families living in bubbles that were created by

society to set specific ground rules in order to keep a family “normal”. With this idea of living a

normal life, families are sent in a direction that impacts their lives by negatively affecting the

way they view the world. The life of gender roles plays a dramatic effect on this idea, where

women years ago were set to believe that men ran a family and women couldn’t take action.

Taking on the role of single-parenthood breaks the idea of a model family setting new challenges

on maintaining a family and living outside the gender norms. As well as the family ties of an

extended family that demonstrates the difference and importance of how a family should interact

with each other. Socials issues like these have decreased since the 1950s. Now, in this

generation, society focuses in on preventing other families from getting over attached to the

model family and the idea of having to be in one.

The model family was introduced to society to show them the “proper” way to raise a

family and through this, the consequences of damaging the gender roles became a bigger issue.

Through sitcoms, magazines, radios, and superior influences in their lives, women were

convinced that they were worthless. Through this, men took advantage and control of becoming

the higher ranking member of the family. They had full control of money, and as well as
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lifestyle choices for both their spouse and children. On account of men having the dominant role

in a family, they were expected to have well-paying jobs in order to raise a family. Men were

expected to earn nearly 118 percent of income in a full-time, year-round job. That's an amount

that hardly anyone could make in this decade. Men would take up blue/white collar jobs to

provide for their family. The preferred employment for men were blue-collared jobs (manual

labor), due to the fact that they made more money through the government's spending on

construction for more buildings for Interstate Highways. What we Really Miss from the 1950s,

Stephanie Coontz states, is that “ The National Education Defense Act funded the socioeconomic

mobility of thousands of young men who trained themselves for well-paying jobs in such fields

as engineering”(Coontz, 35 ).Having the government and programs construct more buildings

opened up more opportunities for men receive long hour jobs. Whereas white-collared job men

would normally only work in an office with short amount of hours. Through these well-paid

jobs, men found it easier to take control of their families since they were the ones with jobs. If

men struggled to keep these jobs rolling they were seen weak rather than the anchor that kept

their family stable. Having men struggle daily for a job, turned wives into having to provide

financial needs.

During World War II the government was obligated to give women jobs since men were

at war. It became harder for men to come back into their old family lifestyles due to women

having domestic authority. “ Veterans often came home to find that they had to elbow their way

back into their families, with wives and children resisting their attempts to reassert from the war,

four times as many reported painful, even traumatic, reunions as remembered happy ones”

(Coontz 27). What men did not understand was that women didn’t want to live in this “model
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family” anymore. They no longer wanted to be seen as “household items” that were only called

upon when they were needed for something to be cooked, cleaned, or washed. Through these

wartime jobs, women got a sense of what it was like to have a well-paying job,getting to work

for what they want, and they learned to not always depend on men. Having to transition back

into the “model family” was difficult for women since they had finally managed to break a norm

that was created by society. As women disconnected themselves from these gender norms

divorces began to increase; forcing mothers or fathers into a brand new lifestyle as a

single-parent.

Single-parent households have changed/broken these traditional roles and where as of

now they can manage a family on their own. In the 1950s a divorce was seen as a “taboo”

considering that those people were not living in a family lifestyle that was considered normal.

Now fast forward a couple decades where single-parent households are now well known to

society. When someone thinks of a single-parent they usually visualize a struggling mother, with

1 or 2 children, those visualizations can be true depending on who they are. The National

Women’s Law Center, a non-profit organization that advocates women’s rights through litigation

and policy initiatives shows statistics from 2015 on single mother families in poverty. “Over half

of all poor children (56.2 percent) lived in families headed by women. About 525,000 single

women with children (11.2 percent) who held full-time jobs throughout 2015 were poor last

year.”1 These statistics demonstrate how many mothers struggle to maintain a family even when

they have full-time jobs. Even though they struggle they’re still able to maintain their family,

whether it’s through welfare of even asking for help from their kin.

1
​Tucker, Jasmine, and Catelynn Lowell. “National Snapshot: Poverty Among Women & Families,
2015.” ​NWLC​, nwlc.org/resources/national-snapshot-poverty-among-women-families-2015/.
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For most of my life I lived in a single-parent household, my full-time working mother

struggled to keep me but never lost focus on what she was aiming for. For the past 14 years of

my life, she managed her way through society's labels of single-motherhood and was able to beat

the odds; Just like the gender roles, where women were manipulated into thinking they weren't

enough. Research from National Survey of Families and Households, made by Naomi Gerstel

and Natalia Sarkisian for The Color of Family Ties: Race, Class, Gender and Extended Family

Involvement, states that marriage often disconnects a mother/father from their families “ …

marriage actually diminishes ties to kin. Married people — women as well as men — are less

involved with their parents and siblings than those never married or previously married.” The

act of becoming single-parents create everyday challenges where as of that point, they

(mother/father) learn to fend for themselves. Through learning on how to protect themselves,

parents do realize that they’ll need more than just themselves but also their extended family.

Having an extended family creates trust in a single-parent home, where the parent won’t

need to worry as much because they acknowledge the fact that they have others willing to take

on responsibilities as well. Living in a Latin family, we’re taught to heavily trust and rely on

others in our families. When it comes down to single-parents they usually have a rough time

looking for someone to care for their children, especially if they make low income; What they

tend to do is move in with their extended families. Rent becomes less for both parent and

extended family, taking some stress off when it leads to rent. Gerstel says, “..., Blacks and

Latinos/as, both women and men, are much more likely than whites to share a home with

extended kin: 42 percent of Blacks and 37 percent of Latinos/as, but only 20 percent of whites.”

(Gerstel/Sarkisian 45) Those that don’t ask for help are usually the ones that were raised in a
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nuclear family, they only rely on themselves. It’s important to know how much trust is set

towards the family. Often families don't help each other or ask for help because they normally

view it as though they're trying to influence each other's lives in an unnecessary way. Through

this, Non-colored families resorted in isolating themselves in order to get their

self-acknowledgment on how they would properly raise their family. In Coontz’s writings she

further more explains a nuclear family’s reasonings as to why it became the only solution to

move away, ” ... they could focus their emotional and financial investments, reduce obligations

to others that might keep them from seizing their own chance at a new start, and escape

interference of an older generation of neighbors or relatives who tried to tell them how to run

their lives and raise their children.” (Coontz 28). They would distance themselves from their

extended kin because parents prefer to raise their children outside the traditional way they

might’ve grew up in. Gerstel and Sarkisian state that nearly 20 percent of whites live near their

relative and at least 37 percent live within two miles and only visit as little as once a week.

Compared to ethnic families where they live within the area of their relatives and visit more

accurately.2 They prefer to have separate lives from their relatives, one where they can act on

their own rules. But when parents strain the relationship between themselves and their extended

families they don’t acknowledge the amount of influence their children could gaining by living

with their older generational relatives.

Through hearing meaningful stories from knowledgeable and experienced adults, living

in a multigenerational home gives more values towards family/life for the new generation.

Living in a home with different generations comes with benefits, they have more stories and

2
​Gerstel, Naomi. “The Color of Family Ties: Race, Class, Gender, and Extended Family
Involvement.” ​Journal of Marriage and the Family​, 2004.
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experience in life to give to children or young adults. Data from Pew Research Center in an

excerpt from Rereading America,” Roughly one in four young adults now lives in a multi-

generational family household.” (17). 25 percent of today’s young adults live in homes where

their role models and influencers are older generations. Living in a nuclear family would make it

difficult for younger generations to learn about life ahead of time rather than later on where they

have to go through it on their own. Looking back to the 1950s families would move away to stay

out of neighborhoods where their children can be easily influenced by other races, ethnicities,

and families. What they don’t realize is that they could be exposing their children to what will

make them grow an appreciation of others and what they have.

Acknowledging the difference between the new generation and the 1950s can be

difficult, there are still some disputes society goes through today that separate us due to our

color, social/economic status and gender. Through understanding the history and importance of

extended family, people are able to learn and work through society's norms. Living in this new

generation, women are no longer judged due to their marriage status, men are no longer seen as

breadwinners, extended families are now commonly know of being a source of reliance and

multigenerational households are cherished due to the stories that are carried down by

generations.