Professional Documents
Culture Documents
task 2
People’s health became to be the is one of the main problems in modern society.
Especially a way how people should maintain their health it [repetition] is stands of on the
top of this controversial and complicated problem. Perhaps too many people count on
medicine and not to rely on their self effort themselves for defend in their struggle for a
strong health. This trend is seems completely wrong to me and in this essay I will explain
way we shouldhow to change \ will give a possible way to change\ solution…etc our attitude
to the health system.
At first, I appreciate all the advantages that we have achieved in medical knowledge sphere
and now we can cure many diseases that could not be threated in the past [incurable
diseases – we have found treatment for the diseases that considered to be incurable in the
past], but we should not start to overuse it [what? Not very clear]. Although we misuse it Formatted: Highlight
every time. [wordy, redundant] Considering why this is all have has happened, I can point
Formatted: Highlight
out that the main reason [wordy – “I may suggest that the reason behind it is is actually our
success in medicine]., Wwe acquaint get familiar with all the inventions through mass Formatted: Highlight
media, even though they [who?] do not announce that all of this these marvelous inventions Formatted: Highlight
has have their own drawbacks. WI we become aware that we can cope with anything
through medicine. [too wordy] Success ---- mass media? Connection?
Now we move to the side of why this conception is wrong.[not clear what the argument is] Formatted: Highlight
At first, we can not overestimate the value of healthy living, as even the simplest exercises
can tackle with many common disorders in our metabolism, thus we can stop disorder that
always led to much more dangerous diseases.preventing them for becoming more serious.
For example, diabetes is in soame cases is caused with by obesity and it is obvious. Formatted: Highlight
Consequently,[consequence of obesity?] Alternatively, if a person starts to have a walk he
Formatted: Highlight
also starts to burn more calories it prevent him with from become becoming overweight.
[one can prevent many health issues by simply leading more active lifestyle] Formatted: Highlight