MESSAGE, MESSENGER, TRAVAILING AND

BIRTHING LIVE

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

MESSAGE, MESSENGER, TRAVAILING AND

BIRTHING LIVE
This is a Message from Father God to all the Ministries out there, to those who call them
selves Ministers and to those who are called to become one and to those who are not called
and assume a seemingly God given ministry. This is a word to all who have a bond
relationship with the lover of their soul. I am birthing this Message with great Pain and under
great labor and with a lot of tears. For this Message is SHARP and most cutting. It cuts so
hard that I DIE NOW right at this moment that I write these words because of the Message I
have to write! And if you could see my tears while I write all these words: than you could see
them from the start until the end.

I am the Message; my live and what I will have to open up now, this part of my heart and
live to you all so that you ALL will be able to RECEIVE THE Message, that is the message. I
do not understand everything now as I am writing it down but I have to do this and I will be
obedient and I know it will become clear for me and for you as I go on writing line for line as
I hear.

It started around 4 Years ago as I have been set APART to become what my Father has
called me for to be! HIS MESSENGER! An Apostolic Prophet Send to Serve the Nations: but
with what? AS I HAD NOTHING! I was crushed through live, being DIVORCED! My
children, three in a row, hated me! I had no Job any more and I was backslidden in Sexual sin,
Internet Pornographic Images I looked at and my heart and SOUL was in a great Mess. I was
more DEATH AS ALIVE! My woman had all rights of Heaven to send me away from her
heart and live! SO I WENT FREELY! I went to SEEK my God! And I asked her if I had a
chance to come back to her Heart when I would find my God to work things out in my live!
Maybe: she said to me!

I went away out of her live, but with the Intension of my heart to find my God! The first
two months I had to live like a refugee in a house for exiles! And there He came! Yes my God
came and He started to speak to my Heart. Do you know what He spoke? GRACE!
Underserved merciful Grace! I was DEATH as He came to my heart and He asked me if I
allowed Him to take it over. And with TEARS in my Eyes for the overwhelming LOVE of
His heart, I handed over my crushed, broken and torn apart heart and soul. After two months
God did something very good for me, he gave me a little home 45m2 not all too far away
from my Family. This was the place were I was finely been SET APART. For many years a
Prophet came and told me that God would visit me in my live and that He would set me
APART, and that in this time there would be a craving in my heart for Him! Well this was so
for around 3 years ago that this word from that Prophet came to pass!

I will not go into details, for this would fill a Book, but here He came to me so very often
that at times it were days after days being in His sweet presence; His transforming, recreating
presence. He started to change and to heal my death live and heart! These were the most
HURTFULL – LIVE GIVING times of my live and of these after them. My Father started to
TEACH and to TRAIN me in the ways of LIVE and DEATH. And after the first year of being
in times of travailing, hurt and of birthing He changed and transformed my death hearth into a
heart as it is now today.

Still being in a process of transformation, the Father and The Son came to me one night
asking me to become one of His writers! I was overwhelmed. But I said yes and I was been
installed through Jesus as He placed His hands on me to be an Official Writer of the Kingdom
of my Father and His son. To Represent His will, the Intensions of His heart and to make it
known to His citizens. Than only a few days after that I received an Assignment to start to
write. And I had to write about Passion Fire and Zeal. A special anointing had been placed
upon me as Jesus placed His hands upon me, but I was not directly aware of it. And every
time as I started to write this anointing rose up and I could here and understand what I had to
write! A first Book came to existence: “Pressing into His Presence through Fire Zeal and
Passion.” In this Book my Father, the Holy Spirit and I teach you all how to come into His
transforming presence to be formed after the Image and likeness of Jesus. After the Second
Book came the Next one – “The Spirit of a Warrior.” Than the Spirit if God moved me to
write a third Book “Joshua Gods Hero.” It were Teachings for near Future and after that still
two other Books were brought to birthing; The Lion of Judah! All Prophecies that were lost
CAME TO PASS. BUT I HAD TO PROPHECY THEM! What was lost and gone came back
to live on a miracles way. My sons, Nathan Joél and Johannes came back to my heart and this
very day I live with them. But my heart was not satisfied for I wanted to also have her back!
The love of my heart, for I had never stopped loving her even when we were divorced in the
time that I was SET APART!

God can speak about great things to us in Prophecies but if our heart is not willing to hear
and to go this deep down way . . . . Those prophecies will FAIL. That prophecies come to
pass there is only one thing that God needs for: A wiling heart, a heart that wills as He wills;
nothing more and nothing less. But if our will is not in LINE with willing this, His will, than
the most beautifully spoken prophetic Words are in vain and we will not be able to receive in
our lives the great rewards and the Plans of INHERITANCE the Father has planned for our
lives. I received dream after dream and vision after vision speaking about it that she will
return back to my heart, but she didn’t! Had God lied to me? Was it my own wisions and not
visions? No, I think it was Gods Plan and the Ultimate Idea of Him to fulfill these dreams and
visions. But she did not came back until this very day and has become even more and more
bitter, may my God bless her every night and day of the rest of her live and bring her save
home. And now I have come to it were the Spirit of God wants me to share my live with you
so that you see and hear His Message too you who read this now.

I am doing very well now, and as I have spoken about the Books, the Second Book is ready
and translated from German and Dutch into the English languish. In less than one year time I
did write more as 5 Books, all in the German languish and translated the first English Book at
the end of 2008. But another Major thing is that I think that God has given me another woman
as my first wife is been divorced from me. I waited almost 3,5 years, counted from the time of
separation. She doesn't want to see the change God has worked out in my live. My Sons are a
living testimony and they speak to her about it that they have a totally different daddy as he
was, but she doesn’t want to hear it.

I prayed over it, as I am desperately in need to have a woman at my site. For there are
daily so many woman who nock at the door of my heart who want to marry me, that it was
crushing and breaking me, to say time on time again no to them. Most beautifully woman,
God fearing, wanted to marry me again, but I was faithful to the dreams and the visions I had
received in the times that my Father had begun to SET ME APART. I said time on time again:
I WAIT TILL SHE COMES BACK: For I believed that she would come back. And it was
crushing my heart time on time again when woman came to try to catch me! My sons have
come back to me in December 2007 and in January 2008 we lived together in the house I
lived in before I went away from my woman to seek my God. I came back all together as a
changed and transformed man of God to fulfill my Destiny as a Father and a loving husband,
but she had gone, moved away to another city. She has left not only me but also her sons, and
although she still has contact with them, my sons do not want to see her back into our Family
again! This has also to do with the Fact that many teenagers are coming in and out my house
and saying daddy to me!

For three weeks ago another she came into my live and she fall deeply in love with me. I
can not understand many things, for there were so many prophecies over the lives of my ex
woman and me, that we together would be Warriors for the Kingdom of our God and even
many more. But I Know, prophecies can fail if we do not HAVE THE WILL to live according
to Gods will - like in the live with Saul. It is all so confusing to me but listen further as I open
up my heart and Live, for I am the Message.

I have also fallen in love anew – which I thought was not possible anymore - and I do
receive this other gift as from God to comfort me over the loss of my first woman who broke
up the marriage bondage we had. There is much to say concerning this, but the end of it is that
the other woman in my live and I, that we desire to marry, to be husband and wife and to
please each other. So God wills in one year and 2 Months we will get married. I can not even
believe it that I am writing, to you who read this, these lines. For not even one month ago I
still was weeping my Bed wet almost every night, crying bitter tears because of my ex: that
she doesn’t want to come back. But now I feel as I am over it - no tears and no bad nights
because of her anymore! I even prayed my heart back. I do not feel the love anymore I had.
God has, as I prayed, taken it away out of my heart because it was killing me. I prayed that He
had to bring her back or take that love for her out of my heart and to give me a woman which
I could love with all the love I have in my heart. For the very first time after almost 3,5 years I
feel free. I did really love her with the love God had given me in my heart!
How much love shall one invest in a not answered love? I think it is like pouring water in a
bucket with a whole. Or it is like pouring water out in the desert in the hot son. How bitter
must the heart of a woman be when she is not able to return to the heart of her husband after
that God has done a miracle with his heart and character and with his way of conduct and live.
That God has made of a looser a Winner and not a sinner. That God has made of a man of self
pity a warrior who stands tall in the fight. That God has made of him a famous man of God as
he was in the presence of the Almighty God receiving Gods Plans for his live. He had only
one desire after being restored, renewed and remodeled: That his wife would return back to
his heart to share the victories with her and to love her with a most HOT PASSIONATE love
coming from the Fire and Zeal of God Himself. And although she has seen and heard all these
things, she doesn’t want to believe the change which has taken place. This was the most
crushing thing for my heart and soul and so deeply crushing to me that sometimes I had doubt
of being changed at all. But I waved this lie of my heart away knowing the truth.

Her sons are testifying to her of this truth, and still she speaks badly about her former
husband! How bitter and how not being able to forgive her husband must her heart be. The
desire of Gods Heart is that Marriages will be restored and that husbands return to the
heart of their woman; after that God has made real Gentleman of them, after that they have
wept many tears that they were not able to change their heart. Why should a woman not return
to her husband? Have we not said and have we not given our oath "For better and worse in
sickness and health - till death departs"

HEAR WHAT GOD SAYS!

WHY ARE THEY NOT RETURNING TO ME SAYS GOD! WHY? HAVE I NOT
SHOWN TO BE A GREAT LOVER? WHY ARE SO MANY HEARTS SO FAR FROM
ME! WHY IS THE ONE WHO BACKSLIDED NOT RETURNING TO MY HEART; AS I
HAVE WEPT MANY YEARS AND SEASONS AFTER SEASON BUT SHE CAME NOT
BACK, THE LOVE OF MY HEART; THE ONE I DIED FOR? HOW MANY TEARS
HAVE I STILL TO FLOW, HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE I TO WAIT UPON THE
BACKSLIDER THAT HE / SHE RETURNS TO MY HEART? AM I NOT A GOD FULL
OF GRACE; HAVE I NOT IN BEFOREHAND FORGIVVEN THE SIN OF MY PEOPLE
IS THE SACRIFICE I MADE NOT BIG ENOUGH?

WHY ARE SO MANY NOT ABLE TO RECEIVE MY HEART OF GRACE? IS MY

HEART NOT A HEART OF LOVE? IF YOU COULD EARN MY LOVE IT WOULD NOT
BE LOVE AT ALL - IT WOULD BE SOME SELFISCH THING: BUT I AM NOT AT ALL
LIKE THAT. I AM A GREAT LOVER, FOR I LOVE AND THIS WILL NEVER END. MY
TEARS ARE THE EXPRESSION OF MY LOVE.

I WILL SEND MY LOVERS, TO MY BRIDE MY MOST DEAREST FRIENDS WHO

LOVE ME MORE AS THEIR LIVE AND THEY WILL SHOW HER MY HEART.
MAYBE SHE WILL RETURN TO MY HEART? MAYBE THE WOMAN WILL FINELY
RETURN TO THE HEART OF HER HUSBAND?

Listen carefully my dear reader! I hear a voice saying to me that my LIVE is the Message. I
do not understand it completely, but this is what I hear. Yes I have returned to the lover of my
heart. Yes His banner over me was nothing but LOVE. Yes she has left me and does not
return and yes I believe this day with all my heart that I did and that I will receive another
woman.
FOR I SHALL LEAVE THOSE WHO STAY AWAY FROM ME AND I WILL SEEK
MYSELF ANOTHER ONE - I WILL GO ON THE STREETS AND ON THE BYWAYS I
WILL GO TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT LOVED: MY HEART HAS TO LOVE AND I AM
SEEKING FOR HEARTS TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS MY LOVE, HAVE I NOT SAID:
LET US MAKE MAN AFTER OUR IMAGE AND LIKNESS? WAS IT NOT MY LOVE
AND THE DESIRE OF MY HEAERT TO SHOW FORTH THE LOVE OF MY HEART
THAT MADE MAN AFTER MY IMAGE AND LIKENES? THEY SHOULD BE AN
EXPRESSION OF MY LOVE. LOVED BY ME, WALKING AND RECIDING IN MY
PRESENCE BEING LOVED THROUGH ME BECOMING THE VERY IMAGE AND THE
EXPRESSION OF MY LOVE! WHY IS SHE NOT RETURNING TO MY HEART?

It is crushing not only being a Prophet but becoming the Message. Jonah, we speak so bad
about him, but God made of him the Message. Look in the Word of God! GOD ALWAYS
MAKES OF THE MESSENGER THE MESSAGE! Is your live not the Message? Are you
not teaching what you are? Than you are not called to do what you do or you have gone
prematurely in your ministry and call from God. And you ask yourselves why there is so little
fruit and more Labor and sweat and tears as joy? You know the answer now! Repent of it and
run into His presence and WAIT upon Him!

It must have been crushing for many Prophets that God made of them the Message to
Gods people! I still do not understand everything. But one thing I know is that God USED the
failures of JONAH to show to the people how great His GRACE IS. For they had heard of
this disobedient backslidden Prophet how God punished and corrected him and how he was
been swallowed up and actually he should have been death! But than he stands there and he is
a SIGN of Gods Grace that God saved him from the wail. That God pulled him out if the
ways of death. The Message of GRACE he preached could not have been more effective!
Message and Messenger have to become one! Look at the live of Paul? MURDERER
versus GRACE! He and his live was the Message, how much more effective could this
Messenger be?

One of my Assignments is to prepare the Bride of Christ; to be a voice of LOVE from His
heart. That all can see and hear how STRONG the DESIRE OF GODS HEART is to love and
for JESUS to be with His Bride! Listen carefully!

I have had planted from my Father within my heart such a great passionate desire to
express the love of my heart that it KILLED me not being able to show forth and to express
my love to a woman. To pour out into her HEART AND SOUL all my love all my care and
all the Words of love I have in my heart. LOVE is the greatest, and God is love, unselfish love
which is like a river that flows from Gods throne. This love has to find GROUND. This love
seeks for an answer, for a reply! She saw me, heard the Words I had hidden deep in my heart -
not even expressing them fully. But she loved all what I am and fall in love in my Words, in
me, in my character! She was so desiring for it to GIVE HERSELF TO ME, that now I am
able to POUR out into her heart ALL THE LOVE GOD HAS PLANTED WITHIN ME! Now
I come to the destiny of my heart, were I have been made for! TO LOVE! Now I can die,
fight and give myself away in the one I love! For this is an answered love! Do you see what
God speaks? He desires to give Himself to His bride but where is her CRAVING, her strong
desire to be with Him, in the most secret place? Kissing Him, hugging Him and loving to
receive all what He has and what He is. Desiring for it to hear just ONE WORD of His lovely
lips, dripping from honey! She told me these kinds of words as I spoke to her of my love to
her heart and soul. I still do not understand everything but:
THIS IS A CLEAR MESSAGE! MAN OF GOD CAN ONLY BE MAN OF GOD IF
THEY CLEAVE TO THE HEART OF GOD RESIDING IN HIS PRECENCE; BECAUSE
IT IS ONLY THERE THAT THEY CAN BECOME THE GREATEST LOVERS TO BE
ABLE TO LOVE WITH THE SAME LOVE AS THEY HAVE BEEN LOVED WITH.
ONLY ON THIS WAY THEY CAN BECOME THE VERY EXPRESSION OF THE
IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF JESUS, THE LOVER OF OUR SOUL. ONLY THIS CAN
MAKE OF US MAN TRUE LOVERS OF THE HEART AND SOUL OF A WOMAN AND
ONLY THIS WILL SATISFY US MAN. BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN MADE FROM
FATHER GOD TO LOVE OUR WOMAN ON A WAY AS HE LOVES US!

Please my dear READER, OPEN UP THIS LETTER AND LET IT TOUCH YOUR VERY
INNER CORE OF BIENG, YOURE HEART.

Share it with all those who need to hear these Words of LOVE! Spread it were ever you
want. Let it touch the hearts of man and woman so that THEY RUNN into the presence of
God. I am birthing Message after Message, please let this my Labor not be in vain? This, my
Labor is also Gods labor!

As I understand rightly what I have heard than my Father told me that He will bring on my
way that I will fall so that He can make an example out of me and to show something’s forth
and to bear Signs within my live. The Spirit of God is so hard upon me, to JUDGE and to
Show me the deepest things of my heart. And I have to lay them open to show you the
MESSAGE! Now you have come to be able to hear the FULL truth, I tell you now the whole
truth! I have to, for God is fighting and warring for you also who read this!

Since I started to write what my Father told me to write the WARFARE around my heart
and my Passion for my God and HIS PERFECT ROYAL WILL to do this; has become very
heavy! And the enemy is trying to bring everything on my way to stop me from bringing forth
what My Father has placed within me! THE FIRE, THE ZEAL, THE PASSION, FOR HIS
KINGDOM WILL and he is attempting to stop me! He thinks that when I fall, in my most
weak moment, that I will stop with writing His will! WRITING WHAT I HEAR AND
WHAT I SEE! But I will not do that! I WILL NEVER EVER CEISE WITH WRITING
WHAT MY FATHER PLACES WITHIN ME!

I have found a new Woman - No more true is that she has come to me and started to talk
with me as I was not guarded to reject her, for she is still very young and I saw no danger for
my heart. Yes she looked good, like my first woman, but much younger and much more
beautifully. So she came over the Internet saying Hello you are looking really sweet. Well two
weeks before that this happened I was almost every day weeping bitter tears of pain and hurt
of my heart because of my ex woman. She had broken all contact since 3 Months and it
crushed my heart not even to hear her voice to have a short conversation.

HAVE YOU STOPPED TALKING WITH GOD? THAN KNOW THAT IT BREAKS
AND CRUSCHES HIS HEART MORE AS THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO EVEN IMAGINE.
ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR HIM (the lover of your heart and soul), STARTING A
CONVERSATION WITH HIM, TELLING HIM HOW SWEET HE IS AND HOW
GLORIOUS HE LOOKS?

In these 2 Weeks I screamed for pain and hurt and I could not bear the pain anymore! So I
said God take, cut this love I feel for my ex woman out of my heart for it is killing me! And if
you do not, than bring her back! But I am in a desperately need of having a soul mate at my
site. (This is the Craving of the Heart of Jesus, longing to be with His Bride) For there are so
many women I have to shut the door telling them: I WAIT UPON HER TILL SHE COMES
BACK! And I tell you! I have had so many dreams and impressions that I had no doubt that
she would have come back.

I think this was my weakest moment in the times of the pain of my heart. I was not able
to express my love to someone - I was not able to give myself away to anyone and I had such
a craving desire to give my love to a woman! Well a few days before this young lady came to
me, I felt released because of the love for my ex in my heart wasn’t anymore (So I thought - I
still think - sounds confusing? Well never forget that our heart is tricky in deceiving us). God
had taken it away! I was shocked! No weeping for several days, I felt really good, singing my
songs, loving my children. I had just come out of a SHORT TIME to change some things at
home with success, as the next season of my live started!

And as I was in the Internet as usual, than she SUDDENLY came and I was not guarded. I
didn’t want to have a woman, for I felt good. Than she told me how she liked me and I saw, to
my surprise that she lived in my area! So I invited her to come to my place to visit in the
weekends the other teenagers who are always coming to me! I really did not know that she
had a BIG HUCH crush on me! Until she asked me: "What do WE do when I come to you?"
This was the moment that I still could have stepped out of it. But I thought no, this can not be!
She is not even 17! So I ignored it, and we started to talk with each other and I discovered that
she had picked me out and that she fall for matured man. Still a virgin she is, looking for a
lovable man! Come on, at the age of just two months missing not jet 17? So I saw no danger,
for I thought that this is no woman and just a little girl, looking for some daddy love!

THIS WAS THE MOMENT THAT MY HEART DECEIVED ME

Than she started to show me her images and this was the moment that she ravaged my
heart, although I did not know it at that day and moment! She has red/brown hair, a beautiful
young body and even more beautifully brown eyes. She is ALL I would have imagined to
have as a dream, only well she had to be something older. LOL - My heart at this time was
deceiving me, as I thought that nothing had happened and that I could handle the situation. I
didn’t know that my heart was fallen in love (a worldly love of attraction called sex appeal –
so not real love) with her and that she already had ravaged my heart. My mind was blocking
this all the time! She kept on coming back and I could not resist, for I felt really good in her
presence; because she was telling me all what I had not heard over the last 20 years in my
marriage. I was her prince, her Singer. I was good looking and so on. But at first I didn’t
believe one word of it.

Than she falls in love even more with me and wanted to marry me! This is weird I know
but I have to go this deep DOWN WAY. I have to lay this open to you all. For me she is
much too young so I thought and I think at times that I am trapped. But my heart feels so good
in her presence and when we talk with each other it is as if two hearts are melting together.
She will wait so she told me till she is 18. Than she wants to come to marry me! Do you
reader see the analogy to Jesus and His Bride and too a lot of other things? But although I
went though these foolish times I received some inner healing from things of the past. So God
used all things for my good even when it was the wrong way for me.

I told her and I did teach her some things out of the word of God about sexual
relationship and such. And I had no physical contact with her. This is her, this is the woman I
would marry and I want to marry in one year time. This is what I thought. If she would have
been 25, it would be much better. But she isn’t! And now my dear READER I am still
WEEPING crying bitter tears, for it will not be any sooner as in one year that I will see her
and that she will come to me! My God how deceitful the heart can be.

I have to know what GOD WILS! This is my TEST! Surely I can go the pleasant will of
God, even when I would marry her when she is 18, even than God would bless me and this
marriage! But I am so USED AS A PROPHET to do ONLY GODS PERFECT WILL that I
really have a hard time! Because one part says that I can wed her already now, but the Spirit
way is to ask God what woman and not to choose for your-selves. Although I have not chosen
to marry this other woman, she has chosen me! But at the other hand I do not want to wed her
for what will they say? What will the people say of my reputation? I am now at this time of
my live a well-known Prophet! These are the thought s which did run through my mind.

God than asked me if I really care for my reputation. He told me that when I will start to
speak what He has given me to speak, my reputation will be gone so or so! And than He
asked me: if I not rather wanted to have a reputation with Him? On this way my thoughts
were brought to silence whether she is too young or not to marry her, or what people would
think about it or not?

If I would choose for myself, I would choose at the moment for this young woman and not
for my ex, I think! I have asked my God what to do, but He is saying NOTHING into this
direction! Oh yes He speaks, clearly! Three times in a row last week every morning in a
dream showing me that He will start to make that I will be recognized as His Servant, a
Prophet send to serve the Nations and this even in Germany! Nice, really good! But this is not
what I want to hear! What I want to hear is: "Something like, yes or no Gods Perfect will."
Well in one of the many dreams my Father has given me, He shows me that I went to my ex
to give her my heart again and to see than how she will reject it again! I am confused! I have
to find Gods PERFECT WILL!

But I have not yet done this since the time of separation, for she doesn’t wanted to forgive
me - so she said. In this dream she turns away from me and rejects the love of my heart and in
that same moment I tell her that I will never ever annoy her anymore and that she will never
ever see me again because I love her to much to hurt her and if it hurts her to see me or to hear
me, I will go! In this dream, I turn my back to her and she looks at me as I go. Than suddenly
she starts to run to me - I see myself in the dream - and she grasps me from my back and
doesn’t want to let me go anymore! But so many things have changed since I had this dream.

Well I have one whole year to show my Father that HIS WILL IS MY WILL AND THAT
MY WILL IS HIS WILL - I have decided within my heart to give my ex woman this LAST
opportunity to come back to my heart. I will try to make an arrangement to meet her and than
I will see what will happen. Maybe many prophecies fall on the ground and this young
woman is a gift from my Father to comfort me over the loss over my former woman who is
just not willing to forgive me? BUT I DO NOT KNOW IT! But what I know is what He has
spoken to me over the last 3 years. And I have to check it out! I have to know if this one
dream will come to pas or not! I HAVE TO GO THAT DEEP DOWN WAY - ALTHOUGH
MY HEART IS NOT WILING HER BACK! But my HEART is WILLING AND DESIRING
FOR GODS PERFECT WILL!

I am a REPRESENTER OF GODS PERFECT KINDOM WILL!!! How could I be

satisfied with LESS than that? That is what I think! I represent His Kingdom!! The good and
the pleasant will do not represent HIS KINGDOM, but they fit into His kingdom, but the
PERFECT PROPHETIC - WILL - IS THE ROYAL WILL. IS THE REPRESENTATION OF
THE KINGDOM OF GOD! So God wills I will Mary this young woman when she will
become 18 and when the other will is Gods will, I will with much HURT AND DIENG take
her back and God will give me than the love back which I had and which I do not have now
anymore! So many thoughts are running through my mind and my heart. At the end of my
TESTING TIME – the FOOLISH TIMES, as I call them, I did find out that both of them was
not Gods PERFECT will for my live. But this is what I did find in my heart throughout the
whole TESTING TIME:

I DESIRE FOR GODS WILL ALL THE LINE! I WANT TO PAY THE PRICE EVEN
WHEN I DO NOT FEEL ABLE NOW TO PAY THE PRICE! For I will fall in one way
or the other and I will marry this young woman and I will become Father again and I will
have many children! Oh I had so many weird foolish Ideas and thoughts; yes my heart was
DECEIVING ME!

So you see? It looks so good! It feels so good, but if it is not the PERFECT WILL? WE
FAIL! BUT I HAVE TO STAND THIS TEST SOMEHOW! So my first step will be to
humble myself and to seek a way to speak with my previous woman! Everything else will
show than what will come! My Father knows me! He knows how strong my FIRE PASSION
AND WILL IS TO DO HIS PERFECT WILL! He will not let me down! He helped Jesus also
in the Desert TESTING Time! Yes it is travailing and birthing time in my live! Thanks my
friend for your OPEN HEART! That you have come to these lines I write now.

I hope you who will read this will stand with me in PRAYER and that you do not condemn
my heart that I did love such a young woman? I not even have the feeling that my Father God
is condemning my heart, for He is much greater as my heart. If I could I would have taken a
knife and cut it out, but I couldn’t and I prayed over it. And why should I do this; because
cultures tell and regulate who you may love? Can we decide who we love? Can we decide
when we love? The borders and the limitations are Gods Word and will and not cultures. I
lifted up my head asking for answers, but the only thing I heard was that I have to go through
this and that I will learn to know new depths of my heart!

And this young lady, believe me this young Lady did really think she loves me and this on a
way I have not even been loved for, for over the last 20 years! She told me that she has fallen
in love with me because of my Sweet character and the beauty of my words. And she is proud
to have me and she wants to have me with all her heart! She is ready and prepared to wait and
to stay faithfully and loyal to me letting not any man touching her. Have we not given
ourselves to Jesus, to marry Him? Are we able to WAIT till the time has come that He comes
and that we start to bare His fruits? The WAITING TIME is the TESTING time! How strong
is our love? Will we seek moments to be in His presence to catch a glimpse of His Beauty?

I will not, never ever no matter the price betray her young heart and hurt her. I will
never ever do that. So the waiting time has something good in it. I love her on the same way
for the Sweetness of her character and for the strength of her will, having a spirited character
as she loves me. She is a fighter with a strong will, prepared to fight for me. What are you
prepared to do for Jesus, for the truth and for His Kingdom? May our God help me to go
through this time of my live finding me at the end DOING HIS WILL and not mines!

You see, God made a Message of me so that I could speak the Message! If you have any
questions I will be pleased to answer them for you! Much more I could say, but this is where I
am now! I loved my ex wife but she doesn’t want to come back to my heart. God loves you,
and He is screaming and weeping for you to return to His heart, to stop with doing and
haunting your own dreams, going after other man who promises you good things. Stop with
going astray looking for the structures of this world, the thoughts, philosophy and the ideas of
this world, which are nothing else as the hands and feet’s of Satan.

RETURN TO ME SAYS GOD, AND I WILL WEDD YOU AND I WILL LOVE YOU
AND LAY MY GARMENT OVER YOU AND I WILL MAKE YOU MORE
BEAUTIFULL AND LOVED AS YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. BE MINES TOTALLY
WITH ALL YOUR HEART SOUL, BODY AND MIND, WITH ALL YOU ARE! SHALL I
NOT TAKE YOU BACK EVEN IN YOUR DEATH DOOMED CONDITION? I WILL
TAKE YOU BACK AND I WILL RESTORE YOU AND NOT AS IN FORMER DAYS
FOR YOUR GLORY WILL BE MUCH GREATER AS IN THE FIRST DAYS OF OUR
LOVE.

I HAVE LET YOU GO YOUR OWN WAYS FOR MANY SEASONS AND FOR MANY
YEARS AND I HOPED THAT YOU WOULD SEE THAT YOUR LOVERS HAVE NOT
LOVED YOU BUT THAT THEY HAVE RAPED YOU. THEY HAVE STOLEN ALL
WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OF ME. AM I NOT YOUR HUSBAND? ARE WE NOT
BOUND TO EACH OTHER? HAVE I NOT TAKEN YOU AND HAS NOT BLOOD FLED
AS I MADE YOU MINES? PLEASE RETURN TO MY HEART AND COME OUT OF
ALL THESE STRUCTURES WHICH KILL AND DESTROY YOUR HEART AND SOUL.
THERE IS STILL TIME, BUT NOT VERY LONG ANYMORE FOR MY SON IS
CREAVING TO BE WITH HIS PROMISED WIFE AND HE HAS WAITED VERY LONG.
RETURN TO ME, RETURN TO MY WAYS, RETURN TO THE PATHS OF WISDOM
AND OF LIVE AND NOT OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! LISTEN TO MY
SERVANTS AS I SEND THEM FOR THEY ARE MY VOICE TO HELP YOU AND TO
SAVE AND TO PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR WAYS OF DEATH.

NOW IS IT UNTO YOU! YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WILL. MY WILL OR
YOUR WILL OR THAT OF THE WORLD AND HIS WILL. DECIDE QUICK FOR THE
TIME IS SHORT AND GREAT DARKNESS IS COMING OVER THE WHOLE WIDE
WORLD AND ONLY IN MY ARMS WILL BE SAFETY AND PROTECTION. I WILL
START TO BRING JUDGMENT OVER THE WHORE WHO IS NOT WILLING TO
COME OUT OF THE WHORE HOUSE. REMEMBER RAHAB! SHE DID COME OUT!
WHAT IS YOUR DECISION, HOW DO YOU DECIDE? CAN YOU SEE MY LOVE, CAN
YOU BELIEVE MY LOVE FOR YOU? DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICES WHO SAY
THAT I DO NOT CARE, FOR I DO AND I WILL NOT STOP DOING THAT IN ALL
ETERNETY. I AM YOUR GOD WHO LOVES YOU AND WILL NEVER EVER STOP
DOING THIS. I AM YOUR HUSBAND RETURN BACK TO ME LOVE OF MY HEART.
I LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU

In Gods service and in His commission:

Apostle Prophet Minstrel Johannes John

Website http://www.johannesjohn.de – Email: Bergmanjohannes@yahoo.de