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Lingus Dingus (Order #8506879)

credits
Created by
What is QAGS?
Leighton Connor
QAGS (pronounced "kwags") is the
Jeffrey Johnson Quick Ass Game System, published by
Hex Games. Unlike role-playing games
Steve Johnson that attempt to simulate reality, QAGS
Carter Newton is a cinematic system that recreates the
feel of fiction. QAGS players and Game
Masters work together to create
Written by entertaining stories, using the
Joshua LH Burnett innovative candy-based mechanic
called Yum Yums. You can puchase
Leighton Connor QAGS 2nd Edition and other fine Hex
products, or download the free Qik
Steve Johnson Start rules, at www.hexgames.com.
Carter Newton
Edited by
All-Stars: Vice Squad is ©2011 by Hex Games. All-
Alice “Last Rites” Connor Stars is ©2011 by Steve Johnson. QAGS Second
Leighton Connor Edition is ©2003 by Steve Johnson and Leighton
Connor and is used here with permission. The Hex
Ian Engle logo and Happy d20 are ™ 2011 Hex Games. All
rights reserved. No part of this book may be
Steve Johnson reproduced without permission except for short
excerpts used for review purposes.
Carter Newton
Cover Art & Layout by
Jeffrey Johnson Visit our web site at
www.redherringillustration.com www.HexGames.com!

Interior Layout by
Steve Johnson
Special Thanks to
Ian Engle, Brian Fish, &
Colin Thomas
Lingus Dingus (Order #8506879)
introduction
Paradigm City is famous for its costumed
crimefighters. And where would
What is All-Stars?
crimefighters be without criminals to fight? All-Stars is a game of low budget
Over the years Paradigm City has been superheroics designed for use with the
plagued by the worst of the worst-- QAGS Second Edition rules. It includes
maniacal mad scientists, alien invaders, an overview of Paradigm City, including
deranged elder gods, super-powered history, landmarks, and local
thugs, killer robots, murderous mutants, celebrities; rules for character creation;
sociopaths, gorilla gangsters, and more. a guide to creating your super team;
As diverse as these villains are, they all super power rules; GMing advice;
have one thing in common: they are sample characters (The Human Spork!
cooler than the Vice Squad. The Vice Plushy Master! Singing Swordsman!);
Squad is a team of D-list villains who, super-hero naming tables; adventure
from their secret headquarters underneath ideas; character sheets; and more!
an abandoned miniature golf course, plan
their (kinda sorta) evil schemes. All-Stars is written by Steve “Lucifer
Lad” Johnson and illustrated by Jeffrey
This PDF includes everything you need to “Clam King” Johnson, and is available
insert the Vice Squad into your super-hero both in print and in PDF form. You can
game. Though you can use these purchase your copy at
characters in any game world, with any www.hexgames.com, or at the finer
system, the Vice Squad is designed for use PDF sales sites.
with the game All-Stars, using the QAGS
system. Depending on the power level of
your Player Character (PC) group, the Vice
Squad can be used as comic relief or as
This PDF includes the following sections:
the heroes’ (kinda sorta) archenemies.
The Team gives the QAGS stats of all
But let’s be honest, you don’t want to use
seven members of the team, including
the Vice Squad as just villains in your
their secret origins and backstories.
game, do you? You want to use them as
PCs. Don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing The Hideout describes the Vice Squad’s
wrong with playing the bad guys, even hidden lair at the Balls Deep miniature
really lame bad guys, from time to time. golf course, including a history of the
Just be sure the players realize that the course and a description of notable holes.
Vice Squad can never, ever come out
victorious at the end of an adventure. Dumb Tables includes some dumb tables
Crime doesn’t pay, especially when the you can use.
criminals are this grossly inept.

Lingus Dingus (Order #8506879)


The TEAM
Johnny Cigarette must make a Brain roll higher than Johnny’s
Gimmick roll.
Body: 12 Coughing Fit: By targeting an opponent’s
Brain: 10 face, Johnny can cause them to start coughing
Nerve: 15 uncontrollably. The victim is allowed a Body roll
Persona: Tough-Talking Gang Leader (14) resisted by Johnny’s Gimmick roll. If Johnny
Power: Magic Smoke (13) wins, the victim loses his next action.
Vulnerability: Easily Winded (13) Smoke Ring: Johnny can create temporary
Stunts: Flick Cigarette Butts with Deadly smoke force fields that can be used to bind an
Accuracy +3, Smoke Screen +2, Petty Crime +1 opponent. The opponent may make a Body roll
Pain Threshold: 6 to resist. If Johnny wins, the opponent is bound
YY: 2 for a number of rounds equal to 1/3 the
Tag Line: "*HACK!**COUGH!*" difference of the rolls (minimum 1 round).
Dumb Fact: Prefers menthol
WWPHITM? Denis Leary Jonathan Newport grew up on the wrong
Magic Smoke--The smoke that Johnny exhales side of the tracks in the Basin (where
can be used for a number of unusual purposes. there is no actual “right” side of the
A few examples include: tracks), and turned to petty crime and
Smoke Screen: In order to see what’s going thievery at a young age. Unfortunately for
on inside or beyond the smoke, an opponent Jonathan, he had little actual skill as a
criminal and spent most of his formative
years in and out of jail. Perpetually broke,
Jonathan eventually signed up to be a
medical test subject for Manitou Cigarettes
(a division of Beezleburton Industries).

Jonathan was chosen to test Manitou’s


new line of “healthy natural” cigarettes
made from 100% pure tobacco. Little did
he know that this tobacco was grown on
the former site of a nuclear waste dump
and that the dump itself was built on top
of an old Indian burial ground. The
tobacco was, indeed, 100% pure--100%
pure EVIL.

The radioactive magic of the cigarettes


altered Jonathan forever, giving him the
ability to transform normal, harmless
cigarette smoke into evil magical smoke.
At last, he had found his way to strike it
big. Taking the name “Johnny Cigarette,”

Lingus Dingus (Order #8506879)


he vowed to bring Paradigm City to its Chuck’s. Johnny complained that, despite
knees. After that didn’t work out, he his tobacco-fueled powers, he couldn’t
gathered the best supervillains he could seem to get anywhere in the world of
find on short notice and formed the Vice super-crime. Slurring his words, the Alkie-
Squad. Mist replied, “Sure, we should, I dunno,
team up ‘n’, y’know, start a group or
Johnny Cigarette wears gray jeans, somethin’.” Johnny Cigarette liked this
engineer boots, a black mask, and a jacket idea so much he even remembered it the
with a picture of a diseased lung next day, and the Vice Squad was born.
airbrushed on the back. He also sports a
utility belt filled with several brands of Thanks to his near-constant drinking, the
cheap cigarettes. Alkie-Mist’s mist form has a high alcohol
content, meaning he can surround and
The Alkie-Mist intoxicate his foes. The downside is that,
when he is drunk enough to perform this
Body: 9 (2 when in mist form)
attack, he is also often too drunk to
Brain: 8
Nerve: 12 remember who he is supposed to be
Persona: Old-Timer (10) attacking.
Power: Turn into Mist (13)
Vulnerability: Alcoholic (13) Despite being co-founder of the team, the
Stunts: Current Criminal Gossip +3; Intoxicate Alkie-Mist is possibly the least reliable
Others +2; Chemistry +2; Knife Fighting +1 member of the Vice Squad. He has a
Pain Threshold: 5 tendency to drift off to parts unknown for
YY: 1 days and weeks at a time. While his mist
Tag Line: "I tell ya, I dunno, in my abilities make him a valuable scout, he
day...(incoherent mumbling)...Anybody got often loses his way, gets distracted, or
shome booze?" fails to report back.
Dumb Fact: Doesn’t actually remember his
real name. The Alkie-Mist’s costume consists of
WWPHITM? Harry Dean Stanton whatever clothes he found at the Goodwill.
No one knows the real name of the
mysterious figure called the Alkie-Mist. Peeping Tom
Some say he was a medieval alchemist Body: 9
who long ago discovered the secret of Brain: 12
immortality. According to this rumor, the Nerve: 10
potions that kept him alive over the Persona: Wheelman (12)
centuries gradually eroded his mind and Power: Super-Vision Goggles (13)
transformed his body. Others say he was a Vulnerability: Easily Distracted (13)
bum from Alamagordo, New Mexico, who Stunts: Leering +3; Internet Porn +2; Evasive
accidentally drank some radioactive hooch Van Driving +1
Pain Threshold: 5
back in the 1940s. Whatever the case,
YY: 1
three things are known for certain about
Tag Line: "(Slurp!)(Slobber!)L...Look!
the Alkie-Mist: 1. He can turn into mist; 2. L...L...Lady parts!"
He is a raging alcoholic; 3. He frequents Dumb Fact: Only wears pants when he has to.
Chuck’s Bar, where Chuck lets him run up WWPHITM? Ryan Stiles
a ridiculous tab.
As part of the secret Project: Oversight,
One night the Alkie-Mist and Johnny HarmCo Industries spent billions of
Cigarette were getting hammered at taxpayer dollars to develop an
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none too eager to accept him. Johnny
Cigarette was about to kick Tom out, until
he discovered that Tom had a van. Since
the Vice Squad needed transportation,
they accepted Tom, on the condition that
he put on some pants.

Since then Tom has served as getaway


driver--in the so-called “Vice Van”--and
lookout. His goggles would make him a
perfect lookout, if only he could avoid
being distracted by the changing room at
the Lingerie Barn three blocks away. Tom
experimental prototype set of goggles for
has also been hospitalized six times for
the U.S. Military. Ironically, it was an
injuries sustained from leering
oversight on the part of an underpaid
suggestively at Intra-Venus DeMilo.
intern that led to the goggles getting
misplaced in the mailroom and shipped off
to a civilian address in Paradigm City. Penny Slots
Body: 11
Thomas Whitman was living off Brain: 13
unemployment checks and spending 18 Nerve: 13
hours a day online when the goggles Persona: World-Weary Twentysomething
arrived at his doorstep. Tom quickly Gambler (11)
realized that the goggles granted their Power: Probability Manipulation (10)
wearer telescopic, microscopic, and x-ray Vulnerability: Gambling Addiction (10)
vision. Tom vowed to change his life and Stunts: Sarcasm +2; TV Trivia +1; Scavenging +1
Pain Threshold: 5
use his newfound powers to battle crime.
YY: 1
After about five minutes of looking for
Tag Line: "I bet you five bucks you won’t
crimes Tom realized that there were a lot punch that guy."
of women in Paradigm City, and he could Dumb Fact: Despite the name, actually prefers
see into all of their bedrooms. quarter slots.
WWPHITM? Aubrey Plaza
Tom spent the next year spying on ladies,
pausing only briefly for snacks and naps. Penelope “Penny” Leininger is the only
It is possible that the experimental daughter of Theodore Leininger, the self-
atomic-powered goggles warped Tom’s proclaimed King of Chance, who used his
mind through continuous use. It is also superhuman probability manipulation
possible that he was always a creepy powers to fight crime in Paradigm City.
pervert with no social skills. Once Penny became a teenager, her father
urged her to practice using her inherited
Eventually, Tom’s x-ray vision allowed him powers so that she could one day take up
to discover the Vice Squad’s hidden base. his crime-fighting mantle. Unfortunately,
Longing for some kind of interaction with Penny only wanted to watch TV and listen
other human beings, and sensing that the to depressing music.
Squad members were kindred spirits, Tom
drove to their headquarters and insisted When her father died in a freak one-in-a-
that they let him join the team. Since Tom million accident, Penny was left on her
arrived fully nude except for a yellow own. After a few months of couch surfing
helmet and the goggles, the others were she found the motivation to practice using
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her powers. She discovered that, by
concentrating, she could rig the outcome
Timmy Too-
of simple games of chance. She didn’t Much-Bacon
always win but, if the price of playing was Body: 10
low enough, she could make a decent Brain: 10
profit. Penny began living off slot Nerve: 13
machines. Persona: Second-
Story Kid (12)
As she spent more and more time in Power: Slippery as a Greased Pig (12)
casinos, though, she learned to enjoy Vulnerability: Tasty, Delicious Bacon (13)
higher risk games. In time Penny Stunts: Bacon Tricks +3 (Bacon lariat, bacon-
developed a serious gambling addiction. cuffs, bacon lockpicks, baconarang, bacon shark
Now she frequently uses her powers to win repellent, etc.), Karate +2, Escape Artist +1
at the slot machines and then, minutes Pain Threshold: 5
later, loses all her money at the Blackjack YY: 3
table. Tag Line: "Beware the power of PORK!"
Dumb Fact: Once accidentally punched a
Penny went on a date with Johnny urinal in a Chili’s bathroom.
Cigarette because someone bet her she WWPHITM? Jeff Cohen (as Chunk from The
wouldn’t, and soon found herself a Goonies)
member of the Vice Squad. Though she Timmy Rasher ran away from the last in a
can, in theory, alter probability in the series of foster homes in Paradigm City
team’s favor, her primary contribution to when he was just 8 years old, promising
the Squad is rolling her eyes when one of that he would never return to The System.
her teammates says something lame. Wise enough at his age to realize that he
should steal food from the pantry before
leaving, Timmy smuggled out a large can
of beans. At least it looked like a can of
beans; Timmy, alas, wasn’t smart enough
to read the label too closely and to his
disappointment found that he had stolen a
#12 can of lard from someplace called
“Experimental Farms.” Eventually hunger
overcame him, and he used the lard, along
with a bit of flour and some ham he’d
stolen from a corner bodega, to make
something reasonably close to food to
keep himself alive.

Timmy found himself transformed by the


experimental lard, able to slide out of tight
spaces, handcuffs, and ropes like he was a
greased and genetically modified pig.
Shortly thereafter, he began utilizing his
new-found powers to engage in Robin
Hood-style antics stealing from the rich
and giving to the poor. Then Timmy
realized that he was a homeless nine-
year-old kid living on the street without a
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friend in the world or any possessions work as a waitress and after a few years
other than an empty lard can, and he had saved up enough money to start
started robbing the rich and giving mostly taking a few classes at Paradigm
to himself. Community College. Sadly, tragedy struck
one day when a battle between the
One fateful night, after the boss had Paradigm Nine and The Mad Librarian
closed up, Timmy slipped into the Big Fish raged across the PCC campus and Vera
Bait Shop. He was excited about the was hit by a piece of falling masonry. Both
possibilities. After all, Timmy reasoned, of her arms were crushed and had to be
bait shops also sell beef jerky, pork rinds, amputated.
and those sandwiches in the plastic boxes.
Plus, Timmy figured, the owner must be Unable to hold a job and with no one to
rich - “Otherwise, it would be called the help her care for herself, Vera was terrified
Small Fish Bait Shop!” He unexpectedly that she’d end up in some horrible state-
found himself face to face with the Vice run facility for the disabled. When she
Squad, who by coincidence had broken in, heard that Dr. Philo Interrobang, a
also looking for beef jerky, pork rinds, and disgraced bio-engineer specializing in
those sandwiches in the plastic boxes. cybernetics, was looking for test subjects,
Once the gang realized that he could be she jumped at the chance. Although the
useful, Johnny Cigarette took the boy cybernetic prosthetics worked perfectly, a
under his wing, and Timmy found himself flaw in the design meant that the slightest
a junior member of the Vice Squad! movement caused Vera unbearable pain.
In order to control the pain, Dr.
Now Timmy is the second-story man for Interrobang prescribed heroin. In order to
the Vice Squad, utilizing his greasy powers combat the effects of the heroin, he
and his utility belt of trick bacon to get prescribed cocaine. Other drugs were
back at the rich and powerful for hoarding added to take the edge of the coke, which
all the tasty pork. necessitated additional drugs to counteract
the effects of those drugs, and so on in an
Intra-Venus DeMilo ever-escalating cycle until eventually the
Body: 11 doctor came up with just the right cocktail
Brain: 12 of medicines to allow Vera to function
Nerve: 14 more-or-less normally.
Persona: Goon (12)
Power: Cybernetic Arms (13) When Dr. Interrobang was sent away for
Vulnerability: Drug Addict (14) trafficking in controlled substances and
Stunts: Junkie Strength +3; Throw Things +2; practicing medicine without a license, Vera
Underworld Connections +1 found herself cut off from her supply of
Pain Threshold: 6 medicine and with only a vague idea of
YY: 1 exactly what drugs she was taking. Vera’s
Tag Line: "I’ll rip your face off!" attempt to recreate Dr. Interrobang’s drug
Dumb Fact: Was at the top of her D.A.R.E. class regimen led her into the downward spiral
WWPHITM? Courtney Love of drug addiction and criminal activity that
eventually resulted in her membership in
Vera Limkin spent her childhood moving
the Vice Squad. Despite her violent mood
between orphanages and foster homes, swings, her sometimes complete
but unlike many of her peers managed to disconnection from reality, and the
avoid the pitfalls of drug addiction, teen occasional withdrawal symptoms, Vera’s
pregnancy, and juvenile delinquency. After strength makes her a somewhat valuable
graduating from high school, she went to member of the team.
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Not everyone is lucky enough to discover
their calling in life. Lady Byrd Jones found
out early in life that she had a knack for
selling things to people who didn’t strictly
need them. Shortly after graduating from
community college, she joined the sales
force at Big Jimmy Joe’s Autorama. In
just a few short weeks, she won the highly
coveted Giant Silver Belt Buckle of Honor,
signifying top sales. For thirteen years
running, she won the Platinum Belt Buckle
for one million dollars in sales.

Somewhere along the way, Lady Byrd got


Lady Diabeetus very used to the perks of being the top
Body: 9 sales person at the Autorama. She found
Brain: 12 herself starting to use her skills in sales to
Nerve: 14
“just make things a little easier.” It started
Persona: Grifter (13)
with small things - free upgrades when
Power: A Cast of Thousands (13)
she travelled, free desserts at dinner,
Vulnerability: Diminishing Returns (13)
Stunts: Used Car Sales +3; Vamp +1 comped drinks. Shortly thereafter, she
Pain Threshold: 5 applied for a handicapped parking pass
YY: 5 reasoning that “those spots are closer, and
Tag Line: "Oh sugar, help me help you!" they’re always empty.” After getting the
Dumb Fact: Sally Sue Kidwell (one of her handicapped pass, she saw a commercial
many false identities) is the legal caretaker of on television where a prominent actor
the Balls Deep miniature golf course. She explained how she could get free supplies
receives a check every month from a court- to treat her “diabeetus.” It was just a
appointed bank in the Cayman Islands, short hop from there to finding a way onto
supposedly in return for seeing to the course’s disability and Social Security. Not that
groundskeeping and security. She has no idea Lady Byrd needed the money, but she’d
that this is why she keeps getting those learned the thrill of closing the deal
checks. whether the “deal” was getting a power
WWPHITM? Rosanne Barr scooter (because she was tired of walking)
A Cast of Thousands--Over the years, Lady
or impersonating a member of the U.S.
Diabeetus has established hundreds of false
House of Representatives (because she
identities for use in her various schemes, all
with their own names, backgrounds, and wanted free postage).
documentation. Whenever she needs a press
The night that Lady Byrd caught Peeping
pass, prescription, frequent shopper card, or
similar perk, she may roll Gimmick to see if one Tom looking through her window, she
of her established identities has what she started by throwing a cookie sheet at his
needs. head. Then, she talked him into taking her
Diminishing Returns--Roll this Weakness back to the Squad’s secret base. Once
whenever Lady Diabeetus attempts to con there, she set herself up as the brains of
someone for a second time, or any time she the operation, taking the Vice Squad to
attempts to con someone using one of her fake new heights of mediocrity.
identities. If the Weakness takes effect, the
victim finds a hole in her story that could ruin
the whole grift.

Lingus Dingus (Order #8506879)


The hideout
A little over a decade ago serial failed break-ins. When “Big Idea” Logan was
entrepreneur Bill “Big Idea” Logan decided killed in a bizarre topiary accident several
to cash in on the popularity of The Lord of years ago, the court appointed a bank to
the Rings by creating the most state-of- oversee the routine maintenance and
the-art miniature golf course the world security of the park until the cases were
had ever known. He somehow talked the settled. The bank outsourced the work to
Church of Latter Day Saints into funding someone who apparently didn’t take the
the project and employed hundreds of job too seriously. Balls Deep soon became
concept artists, architects, engineers, as run-down as the surrounding
special effects people, and costume neighborhood, and is now primarily a
designers to create a truly immersive place for teenagers to make out and buy
fantasy putt-putt experience. and sell drugs.
Unfortunately, he forgot one little detail:
licensing. A few days before opening, the What these teenagers do not realize,
course was shut down by an injunction however, is that beneath the course lies
from the Tolkien estate, and the property an elaborate underground system of
soon became entangled in a number of maintenance tunnels, secret passages,
lawsuits involving Logan, Tolkien’s heirs, and control rooms from which the fake
the Mormons, Weta Workshop, Leonard lava recyclers and steam generators and
Nimoy, two former members of Led other high-tech special effects needs of
Zeppelin, and, for reasons that aren’t the park can be operated. Johnny
entirely clear, the guy who played Gopher Cigarette knew about the tunnels from the
on The Love Boat. half day he’d worked on the park when it
was being built (he took the job to steal
Since the sign bearing the attraction’s some tools for a robbery he was planning)
name was never installed, locals usually and had been living there for some time
called it something along the lines of “that when the Vice Squad was formed, so it
useless putt-putt course” until the second wasn’t a huge leap to turn the tunnels into
LOTR movie was released. Shortly the team’s secret hideout.
thereafter, some unknown person dubbed
the place “Balls Deep,” after “Helm’s The exact layout of Balls Deep and the
Deep” in the movie. The name stuck, and contents of the underground tunnels are
locals have referred to the place as “Balls largely up to the GM. It’s also up to the
Deep” ever since. GM which of the various mechanical parts
of the park are operational. The Vice
With Balls Deep mired in legal troubles, Squad has managed to wire the main
the economic boom that Logan had power circuit into Big Fish’s electrical line,
promised the depressed neighborhood but several of the more elaborate special
where he built the attraction never came. effects are on their own dedicated circuits.
To this day, the Big Fish Bait Shop, located When designing holes for the course, keep
next to the course, is still the area’s most in mind that, while the Vice Squad tends
successful business, despite frequent to come up with ridiculous, petty schemes
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that fizzle out anti-climactically, “Big Idea” Cigarette and Intravenus DeMilo can open
Logan was a man who came up with the gate). The gate is just wide enough for
ridiculous, elaborate schemes that failed the Vice Van to fit through, so the team
spectacularly, so the more overly- uses the first hole of the mines as a
complicated and unreasonable, the better. garage to keep the van from getting
A few examples are provided below. spotted or vandalized.

Mount Doom Sauruman’s Tower


The top of Mount Doom flips open to Although only 10 feet in diameter,
reveal a ladder that descends to a large Sauruman’s Tower is nearly 30 feet tall
room in the service area. The room and the top is accessible from the service
contains an elaborate pumping device tunnels via a ladder, which makes it a
that, when running, pumps “lava” out of good observation post if the hideout needs
Mount Doom, where it flows down the side to be defended. It’s also one of the few
of the mountain and into a drain that areas of the park with good cell phone
returns it to the pump. The Vice Squad reception.
has yet to figure out exactly what the lava
is made of, but Timmy swears it tastes like Bag End
paste. Since this is the largest room in the
complex, the Vice Squad has made it their Bag End was supposed to be the course
main headquarters. In addition to a gift shop, and through the windows one
television and several pieces of furniture can see piles of boxes that are no doubt
stolen from other parts of the complex (as filled with cheap One Rings, replica hobbit
well as local curbs on trash days), the swords, souvenir shot glasses, and other
room is littered with beer cans, pizza cheap crap that could be resold to geeks
boxes, drug paraphernalia, and other on eBay. Unfortunately, the Vice Squad
artifacts of the team’s abundant off-duty has yet to raid this treasure trove because
hours. they can’t figure out how to disable the
alarm.
The Mines of Moria
Rivendell
The Mines of Moria, which make up the
fifth through seventh holes of the course, The Rivendell area of the course (and the
are actually located underground. A tunnels and rooms beneath it) are home
hidden door under Balrog Bridge leads to to business offices, storage rooms full of
the service tunnels. The entrance to the costumes and props, changing rooms, and
mines is a slab of ancient stone that Logan other areas where the day-to-day-
had shipped from Wales. A voice operations of the attraction would have
recognition device is supposed to open the taken place had it ever opened. The
gate whenever someone says the Elvish employee break room, which is also
word for “friend,” but it rarely actually accessible from the service tunnels, serves
works (and most of the Vice Squad don’t as the Vice Squad’s kitchen and mess hall.
speak Elvish anyway). The door can also A door at the back of the break room
be opened from the inside by cranking an opens onto a small balcony behind the
elaborate pulley system. The pulleys can Rivendell waterfall that was intended as an
only be operated by a character with a employee smoking area.
Body or appropriate Gimmick of at least
12 (of the Vice Squad, only Johnny
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Dumb tables
Vice Squad Capers
1. Stealing wheelchairs from hospitals 11. Shoplifting cold medicine
2. Stealing fire extinguishers 12. Selling bootleg movies
3. Robbing the Big Fish Bait Shop 13. Running three-card monte games
4. Hijacking a liquor/cigarette truck 14. Making prank phone calls
5. Stealing aluminum cans from the 15. Gold-farming
homeless
16. Fake charity collections
6. Breaking open parking meters
17. Scalping tickets
7. Taking cookies from Girl Scouts
18. Kidnapping celebrity pets
8. Stealing lunch money from kids 19. Sending scam emails
9. Tipping vending machines 20. Stealing a death ray, taking over
10. Stealing street signs Paradigm City

Vice Squad Allies


1. Mr. Leather 11. Sultan Battery
2. Overeater Lad 12. Cocaine Katie
3. Pants-on-Fire Pryor 13. Dr. Roofie
4. Dogtrack Sam 14. The Sloth
5. Sir Fapsalot 15. Horndog Harry
6. Temper Tatum 16. Lady Lust
7. Kleptobrainiac 17. Princess Barstool
8. Miss DeMeaner 18. Pillhead Pete
9. Baron Blasphemy 19. The Breather
10. Ganja Gorilla 20. Senator David “The Diaper” Vitter

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Convenience Store Robbery Loot
1. Bobbleheads 11. Lighter
2. Snack crackers 12. Comb
3. A hot dog that’s probably been there 13. Condoms
since the Carter administration
14. Spork
4. Chapstick
15. Bottle of lighter fluid
5. 2 liter bottle of soda
16. Travel-sized bottle of mouthwash
6. Beef jerky
17. Candy bar
7. 40-ounce of beer
18. Pack of smokes
8. Bag of chips
19. Six pack of beer
9. Novelty flashlight
20. Roll Twice
10. Doughnut

Balls Deep Random Night-Time Encounters


1. A super-hero dealing drugs 11. Some kids making out
2. A super-hero buying drugs 12. A hooker (probably has drugs)
3. An angry radioactive animal 13. A cop looking for hookers
4. Organized crime figures (Mafia, 14. A cop selling drugs
Yakuza, Triad, etc.) 15. A dirty cop collecting his payoff
5. A homeless person (possibly looking (possibly in drugs) from organized
for drugs) crime figures
6. A stray dog 16. A super-villain
7. A vandal/tagger 17. An angry radioactive drug dealer
8. Some kids doing drugs 18. A drug-dealer-themed super-villain
9. A drug dealer 19. An honest cop on patrol (obviously a
rookie)
10. Some kids skateboarding (also:
doing drugs) 20. Telekinesis Jesus!

11

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Vice Squad Team info
Team Name: Headquarters:

The Vice Squad Balls Deep


Mission: Equipment & Resources:

To, like, be super-villains The Vice Van


and stuff
Contacts & Allies:
Branding (Uniforms, Symbols, etc.):
Chuck (owner, Chuck’s Bar)
None
Membership Requirements:

Negotiable
Current Team Members:
Other Information:

Johnny Cigarette
The Alkie-Mist
Peeping Tom
Penny Slots
Timmy Too-Much-Bacon
Intra-Venus DeMilo
Lady Diabeetus

Vice Squad Team Stats


Manpower 3 Headquarters: Abandoned Mini Golf Course (Balls Deep) 14
Resources 5 Gimmick: High Tech HQ 11
Public Relations 3 Weakness: High Tech HQ In Poor Repair 11
Assets: Flaws:
Lots of Lord of the Rings Crap +3

Visit our web site at www.hexgames.com!


©2011 Hex Games. Permission granted to photocopy for personal use.
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If you enjoyed The Vice Squad, you should try All-Stars!
Paradigm City is known for its
heroes, the powerful, colorfully-
clad men and women who
always swoop in and save the
day. You’re not one of those
people. Sure, you’re got a power
(or at least a schtick), but it isn’t
particularly awe-inspiring, or
even all that useful. You don’t
have a fancy crime-mobile, an
ultra-modern headquarters, or a
high-priced publicist like the big
boys. But you’ve got heart, and
sometimes that’s all you really
need.

All-Stars is designed for use with


the QAGS Second Edition rules.
It includes an overview of
Paradigm City, including history,
places of interest, and important
people; rules for character
creation, and for super powers; a
guide to creating your super
team; GMing advice; sample
characters (The Human Spork!
Plushy Master! Singing
Swordsman!); super-hero
naming tables; adventure ideas;
and more!

All-Stars–as well as the QAGS rulebook, Edison Force, Roller Girls Vs., and more--can be
purchased in PDF form at www.hexgames.com and at the finer PDF sales sites for just
$7.99.

For those who would like to sample QAGS before they buy it, the QAGS Qik Start Rules,
which include everything you need to play All-Stars, are available for download at
www.hexgames.com, absolutely free.

All-Stars is written by Steve Johnson and illustrated by Joshua Burnett, Leighton Connor,
Lindsay Hornsby, and Jeffrey Johnson.

Fight crime in your spare time. Have more fun!

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