Learning Activities for Talk It Up

English Years 7 - 10

Objective:
To develop skills in talking and listening through responding to, analysing and
composing texts in different contexts and using different technologies.

“Everyone has the vast capacity for being more understanding, respectful, warm,
genuine, open, direct and concrete in relationships.” George Gazda, Human
Relations Development: A Manual for Educators (Boston. Allyn & Bacon, 1973), p34.

Good communication skills help to resolve issues and build healthy relationships.
People can feel very isolated when they are not communicating effectively with other
human beings.

The following activities are designed to help teach students how to communicate
more effectively with their peers and adults. The skills to talk and listen effectively
need to be taught and used until they become a comfortable, integral part of every
human being.

Whatever?

Learning Outcome:
Ø Analysing and understanding the meaning of communication

“Communication is a bridge from one person to another.” Draw this image and
discuss its meaning. What happens when someone asks a question and the speaker
responds with ‘whatever’? How is this like a bridge with a broken pylon blocking the
traffic from moving across to the other side?

As a class brainstorm the meaning of the word communication. Ask students to draw
two images to show the difference between effective and poor communication.
Display these images and talk about any common features amongst them.

What happens in a conversation if one person is not listening? In small groups list as
many good listening skills as you can. Rank these skills from 1 to 5, with most
important being 5. Compare your rankings with students in another group and explain
why you ranked them in this way.

Compose and record a telephone conversation between two people in which one
person tries to convince the other to attend a social function. The other person needs
to demonstrate poor listening skills. Listen to the conversation and make
suggestions about how it could have been different if the other person had modelled
good listening skills.

Teenagers spend a lot of time communicating via email or the telephone. They
quickly develop skills in sending text messages at an amazing pace. Sometimes
messages are not always clearly conveyed and confusion sets in. Details of meeting
times and places are sometimes unclear. Role-play a situation in which one teenager
is arranging a meeting amongst six friends. Discuss how he / she would plan this
meeting using modern technology.

Use the features of the electronic media to compose an imaginative text in which two
people exchange a heated conversation about a topic that is featured in the media.
Working in teams, analyse the text to see if both people are hearing and responding
appropriately to one another.

Communication Humps

Learning Outcome
Ø Identify and understand communication barriers commonly used in day-to-day
conversations.
Ø explore how effective communication can build positive relationships and reduce
feelings of isolation

Speed humps are put on busy streets to slow down or reduce traffic. There are also
communication humps, which people use in conversations. These humps slow down
and sometimes stop people from really listening to one another. For example when a
friend speaks, we are sometimes too busy thinking about what we are going to say,
while he / she is talking. The following three communication humps are commonly
used in conversations. They diminish a speaker’s self esteem which can stop him /
her from talking and expressing feelings.

1 Judging
2 Giving Solutions
3 Avoiding the other’s concerns

Copy the following examples onto individual sheets of paper. Working in teams, sort
them into three groups; judging, giving solutions or avoiding the other’s concerns.

Criticising – making negative evaluation of the other person

Name-calling – putting the other person down
Analysing – being a know it all
Patronising praise – giving unnecessary praise
Ordering –bossing the other person
Threatening – trying to control someone with negative consequences
Moralising – telling the other person what to do
Too Many Questions –asking closed-ended questions so eventually the person just
keeps saying yep, nup, or nothing in response
Advising- giving solutions rather than letting the person work it out
Diverting –changing the subject
Logical argument – trying to convince the person your idea is best
Reassuring – making light or disregarding the depth of someone’s feelings

Write a dialogue between two people to show how one of these communication
humps can stop a conversation, rather than help to keep it going.

Look through the list of communication humps and work out which ones you use in
conversations with your parents, friends and teachers. Do you agree that they are
conversation stoppers? Discuss.

Bad Habits

You may believe you are a good listener, and that others don’t seem to communicate
very well. Perhaps you have been using these communication humps without
realising it? It’s time to cut out these bad habits and remove the humps from the road
so you can have a clear path to effective talking and listening.

By identifying and understanding how these communication humps can discourage

good listening and talking, you are well on the way to making some positive changes
in your conversations with friends, family and people you work or study with.

Judging Others

Learning Outcome

Ø to identify how judging others can block a meaningful conversation.

Jamie has been late for school every morning. His teacher is annoyed that he is not
arriving on time and his friends want to know why he is always late. Jamie starts to
explain that he has to take his little sister to child-care each morning before school.
His friends start teasing and calling him names. They say Jamie is always living in a
dream world and that’s why he can’t get his act together and get to school on time.
Jamie becomes embarrassed and doesn’t explain that his mother is working longer
hours, as they are short of money, and so she can’t take his sister to child-care in the
mornings. He stops talking, moves away from his friends and goes to detention for
being late to school.

Focus Questions:
How is this an example of judging?
What were some of the negative things about this conversation?
Why has Jamie been late for school?
Why did Jamie stop talking?
What could Jamie’s friends have said instead?
What were the consequences of Jamie’s peers being judgemental?

Activity
Role-play the scenario above. Change it to show how Jamie’s friends could have
listened without making judgements, and then helped him think of some solutions.

Giving Orders

Learning Outcome

Ø to explore and identify the effects of moralising, ordering or threatening a person

in a conversation.

Moralising, ordering or threatening people can often make a situation worse. Read
the following scenario and talk about how Peter tries to express his feelings, by using
an aggressive order.

Tristan and Emily live with their mother. Their parents are separated and they visit
their father occasionally. Peter, their dad, misses them and when Tristan and Emily
came to visit him on Saturday afternoon he angrily said, “You don’t visit me enough.
If you don’t come more often you won’t be able to get your pocket money.”

Focus Questions
What was Peter trying to say to Tristan and Emily?
How do you think Tristan and Emily would have reacted to their dad’s comments?
Why?
What could Peter have said to explain that he loves Tristan and Emily and wants to
spend more time with them?
Why do people sometimes sound angry when they are upset?
Try to think of some examples in which you or someone you know has said one thing
and meant something different.

Activity
Write a dialogue between Tristan, Emily and their dad, in which he allows them to
share their feelings and come to an arrangement in which they spend more time
together.

Making threats

Threats produce negative results.

Finish the following sentences as a threat:

(a) If you don’t clean your room …

(b) I won’t help you if …
(c) I’m not going to ….
(d) Stop that, or I will …

Now rewrite the sentences as a positive statement. For example: If you don’t clean
your room, I’ll eat all the ice-cream, could be rewritten as:
When you have cleaned your room you can come and get some ice-cream.
 Too many questions – without any answers

Learning Outcome

Ø to explore and identify the effects of asking too many closed questions when
trying to communicate with another person.

Not more questions!

Some questions are good conversations starters. But often teenagers get fed up
with their parents asking constant questions. The questions act as communication
humps – drying up any further conversation.
Ø “Where did you go?”
Ø “Who was there?”
Ø “How was your day?”
Ø “Did you have good time?”

When parents or teachers ask constant questions like these, teenagers can stop
talking, or give one-word answers, “yep”, “no”,” huh”.
Parents often ask questions because they just want to share what’s happening in
their children’s lives. They like to talk to their kids and understand or feel involved in
what they’re doing.

Activity
Imagine you have just come home from a party. Your parents would like to know if
you have had a good time, and what you did. Write a conversation between you and
your parents. Avoid asking closed questions that encourage one-word responses.

If I were you…

Learning Outcome

Ø exploring alternative ways of communicating, rather than giving advice which can
lead to the other person feeling inadequate and less able to find a solution to his / her
problem.

Giving and receiving advice.

Advice is a commonly used communication hump. It can make the person receiving
the advice feel even more negative about their own ability to solve problems. In the
following dialogue Suzanne feels really annoyed with herself because she has left
her homework book at school. Her mother and brother give her advice about how to
be more organised, which makes her feel even worse!

Activity
Read the following two conversations and working in teams think of some questions
that allow you to compare them.

Ist Conversation
Suzanne: Mum, I can’t do my homework, I left my book at school.

Mum: You should be more organised.

Brother: So what? You hate doing homework anyway?

Mum: I wish you could be more organised.

Brother: I always put my homework books in my bag before the last lesson – you
should do that.

Suzanne: : And you’re so perfect, and never forget anything, aren’t you!

Mum: Cut that out, it’s not Simon who is disorganised and left his books at school,
when he’s got heaps of homework due tomorrow.

Suzanne: But I …”

Mum: “I wish you could be more organised like your brother.”

2nd Conversation
Suzanne: “Mum, I can’t do my homework, I left my book at school.”

Mum: “You’ve left your books at school.”

Brother: “I hate it when that happens.”

Suzanne: “Yeah, now I can’t do my homework.”

Mum: Is there any other way you could get what you need to do your homework?

Suzanne: I guess.

Mum: So you’re saying there is something you could do to find out what you need to
do for your homework tonight!”

Suzanne: I could ring Christine and ask her to read out the questions to me, I
suppose.

Mum: Ringing Christine sounds like a good idea.”

 Ignore me … but I may not go away!

Learning Outcome

Ø recognising and understanding that if you ignore a person in a conversation it can

lead to the other person feeling isolated.

Ignoring the other person

Have you ever been in a conversation in which you are trying to explain how you feel
to others and they keep changing the topic or switching it to themselves? Sometimes
it’s because they feel uncomfortable or embarrassed for the other person and don’t
know how to react, or what to say. Many people feel uncomfortable talking about
sensitive issues concerning affection, divorce, illness, anger, death, sickness etc as it
creates tension within them.

Read the following exchange between three friends.

Person A: I went to the dentist this morning and I have to get braces on my top teeth.
I reckon I’m going to look so ugly and I …

Person B: Sophia’s got braces, she reckons it sucks. She can’t even drink fizzy
drinks.

Person C: Yeah my cousin’s got them on his top and bottom teeth and he gets called
metal mouth all the time. Oh look, there’s Garry, I wonder if he can see me from
there?

Person A: I’m worried that the boys will laugh at me.

Person B: I’m glad I don’t wear braces.

Focus Questions

What was Person A trying to say?

What happened to Person A’s concerns?
Why do you think Person B and Person C changed the conversation?
What could Person B or Person C have done in this conversation to help Person A to
express her feelings?

Make a checklist of techniques that people use to ignore the other person’s
concerns. For example:

Ø Look in another direction

Ø Start doodling
Ø Change the conversation back to themselves
Ø Cough or pretend to sneeze.

Keep your checklist handy and record how often people use these techniques during
one week. Collate your findings and discuss how these techniques can make the
other person feel their concerns are not being addressed.
 Listen to me, please!

“One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to
us as we consider our problems, can change our whole outlook on the world.”
Dr Elton Mayo, Are You Listening? New York: McGraw-Hill, (1957) p 49.

Pre-schoolers spend a lot of energy learning to talk. At the

age of four the most common sentence starts with ‘why’.
Up to the age of nine or ten the brain is twice as active as
an adult’s and the majority of children master the skill of
reading during these years. Once we reach adolescence
we spend a lot more time listening than reading. So what
about listening? Some experts say most people only listen
effectively about one-third to two-thirds of the time. Kids
might say it’s because the teacher is boring. The quality of
listening can transform people’s lives! Students need to be
taught to become effective listeners, recognising that one
needs to hear what another person says and become
involved with the speaker.

Learning Outcome:

Ø define and understand attentive and reflective listening skills.

‘Listening is more than hearing.” James reckons his friends listen to what he has to
say, but his parents only hear him. What do you think about this statement? As a
class brainstorm what the words listening and hearing mean. How are they alike, how
are they different? Is there ever a time when it’s OK to listen and not hear?

“He had them on the edge of his seat.” What does this mean? Discuss techniques
that help to keep someone interested when you are talking to them. Ask students to
write and present a two- minute talk about a subject that fascinates them. They will
need to incorporate the techniques you have identified to keep the audience ‘on the
edge of their seats’.

When you speak to someone you can quickly tell if they are listening, or not!
(a) Working in small teams list what you can see when you are talking to
someone and they are listening attentively. On the other side of the paper, list what
you can see when you talk to someone who is miles away in their thoughts and not
listening!
(b) But what happens if you are having a conversation with someone who is on
the telephone? List what you can hear if you know the other person is being
attentive.

Videotape a two-minute conversation between two people. Afterwards use the

following checklist to evaluate how attentive they were. Give the speakers a rating
out of ten and justify your evaluation.
ØFace your body towards the speaker
ØTry at speak at the same eye level
ØSit with legs and arms uncrossed
ØKeep an appropriate distance between the speakers
ØAvoid distracting gestures
ØKeep eye contact –in some cultures this may not be acceptable
ØMinimise other distractions, eg. turn off games, radio, TV
ØRemove desks or barriers between speakers

Eye contact during a conversation is not desirable or acceptable in all cultures. Use
the Internet and books to research cultures like this. Present your findings in a
suitable form to show that you appreciate and understand their customs in relation to
communication. This may be in a form of a role-play, skit, written report, television
script or computer presentation.

Conversation starters get people talking. Adolescents are very capable of exploring
areas they are personally interested in. You can have lots of fun with the students
making up their own conversations starters in different situations, such as on their
first date, joining a club, and making a new friend.

Encouraging conversations to keep going is another skill that young people need to
learn. These are comments that can be dropped into a conversation to keep it
flowing. As a class brainstorm as many different encouragers as you can. Think of a
creative word to identify these words and make posters to display them around the
room. For example:
Oh? Go on Yes You betcha

Not another question!

“During an average week, adolescents have been reported to spend close to one
third of their time talking with peers, but only 8 percent talking with adults.”
(Csikszentimihalyi, Larson and Prescott, 1977) The ecology of adolescent activity
and experience, Journal of Youth and Adolescence.

Adults, particularly parents, often fall into the trap of asking far too many questions
when they talk to adolescents. Their peers don’t plague them with questions – and it
often becomes a source of frustration in families when adolescents utter grunts and
one-word responses! Ask your students about how they interact with their parents,
compared to their peers. Do they often feel like they are under the spotlight and
being interrogated? Often people ask a question, that would have been better as a
statement which gives the speaker the opportunity to explore thoughts and feelings in
her / his own way. Consider the following scenario and then rewrite or role-play the
same situation but rephrase the opening questions as statements.

Dad: How was your day?

Son: OK
Dad: What did you get up to?
Son: Nothing
Dad: So you did nothing all day?
Son: Mmm
Dad: Great, I’m paying all this money for you to go to boarding school and you do
nothing all day?
Son: No reply

Ask the students to record a conversation they have had with an adult. Analyse it to
see how many open and closed questions are asked. Identify the closed questions
that could have been rephrased as comments for a more engaging response.

Rephrase that!
Sometimes listening and repeating what you think the other person is saying is a
useful way to show that you have heard and understood what is being said. It’s
important for the rephrase to be short and to the point – otherwise you can take over
the conversation. Let’s pretend we are in a library and overhear the following
conversation.

Joel: I want to go to a different high school, cause I’m sick of being teased all the
time. I don’t know how to tell my parents though.
Tarkin: You think you’re teased a lot here, hey!
Joel: Yeah, just because I don’t get good grades and I like mucking around with cars
and stuff instead of trying to learn stuff to go to uni.
Tarkin: You’re really good at mechanics, but a lot of kids at this school are really into
studying and want to go to uni.
Joel: Yeah right! D’you reckon I could ask my folks if I could change schools?
Tarkin: How do you think they’ll react?

Focus Questions
How does Tarkin show that he is listening to Joel?
What was Joel most worried about?
Do you think Joel could have said anything else?
What would have happened if Tarkin had said: ‘Don’t be an idiot, Joel. You’re not
dumb?”
Why does Tarkin feel that he doesn’t fit in?
Will moving schools help Tarkin? Explain with examples.

Write a sentence below the following conversation to show that the listener has heard
and understood the speaker’s feelings:

Speaker: “I am so tired. Last night I had to stay up and baby-sit my kid brother and
he played those dumb computer games for so long and they were so loud that I
couldn’t get any of my homework done. I’ve got an English assignment due
tomorrow, and a physics and chem. one by Wednesday. I also really want to try out
for the state hockey trials tonight. But I don’t know how I’m gonna get it all done?”

Students can prepare and present a short talk about a topic in the newspaper to a
small group of students. The other students in the group listen to the talk and then
rephrase what was said in one or two sentences. For example the speaker could talk
about why he / she thinks banning pet rabbits is wrong, even though the Queensland
Government has banned them to reduce the effects of rabbit destruction on farms.
 Expressing feelings

Some people find it easier than others to

express their feelings. Adolescent’s
brains show more activity in the
emotional part of the brain. They easily
recall stuff that is important to their own
lives. Setting up learning opportunities
to develop communication skills in which
they can explore and express these
emotions makes good sense.

Set up a role-play in which two students are talking to one another about an
emotional issue. It may help to give them some topics such as:
• My boyfriend doesn’t want to go out with me anymore.
• My parents are getting a divorce.
• I have to move to the city to go to boarding school.
• Someone close to me has died or moved away.

Ask two students to observe the role-play and evaluate it. For example:
• What did they do well?
• What could they have said or done to communicate better?

This activity can be adapted or extended so that the students hold an email
conversation. Compare the two forms of communicating. Such as:

• Is it easier to express yourself in person or in writing? Why?

• Which method is best? Why?
• What happens if one person finds written communication easier than
speaking in person?

Tape record a series of conversations in their favourite television shows –

Neighbours, Friends, Home and Away. Working in teams, ask the students to
analyse these conversations and identify whether the speakers are:
Ø using communication humps
Ø modelling good listening skills.

Imitating segments in their favourite TV shows and altering some of the lines to model
positive communication skills can be lots of fun and a valuable learning experience.

FINALLY

It’s a proven fact that most adolescent brains aren’t ready to wake up before 8 or 9 in
the morning. So avoid engaging them in too many meaningful conversations over the
breakfast table or before 9 am.