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FEATURING
THE CRYPT-KEEPER
THE VAULT-KEEPER
PROOF ...OF 8 BRANDS
TESIED.W IS BEST
IMITATION W&&
ROR... A BIT OF BILGE I DUG UP FROM AMONG A BILE OF OLD MANURESCRIPTS THAT WERE
I
CLUTTERING UP A CLAMMY
CORNER OF MY CADAVER- CAVERN. YOU'LL RETCH AT THE WRETCHED GAG PLAYEO BY CAPTAIN MATT
AC A CC.11,,1 IUUM ,M ... «... ~ . .
STARKE
DOCKS RIGHT NOW TO BEGIN THIS ODOROUS OPUS X CALL.
pFOREVER
AMBERGRIS
YEAH ' STARKE'S THE NAME. CAP'N MATT
STARKE, SKIPPER OF THE FREIGHTER SULTANA.
I’M ASHORE NOW... HAPPY T’ BE TAKIN’ MY EASE
ON THIS PLUSH SOFA...SNU6 IN THIS NEAT LITTLE
HARBOR-APARTMENT, ..BLOWIN' BILLOWS OF COOL
BLUE SMOKE FROM THIS HAVANA FIFTY-CENTER...
AN' CREAMIN' OF HOW I'LL SOON BE MASTER OF THE
TRIMMEST LITTLE GAL IN THIS OR ANY PORT. I'M
HAPPY 'CAUSE X LOVE EILEEN ENOUGH TO HAVE
MURDERED A MAN V GET HER? AND NOW... .
NOW THERE'S a QUEER COMBINA- AN' SOME KIND OF CRAZY INSTINCT 'But WHERE to BEGIN? on that
IS NAGGIN AT ME RIGHT NOW. WARM SPRING MORNIN', I RECKON,
TION OF THINGS FOR A MAN IN LOVE
r BE THINKIN' OF... A GORGEOUS MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME. LE'ME WAS THE START OF IT. WE'D DROP-
WOMAN AND ...UGH . .
. WHALE SPEW* TELL YOU 'BOUT EILEEN and ME.. PED ANCHOR HERE IN SAN DIEGO AND
BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. I GOT THE AND MY SHIP... AND THE WHALE... ME AND M' FIRST MATE, BEN HARPER,
SAME COLD REELIN' \N MY an' THE MAN I MURDERED-,. WERE HURRYIN' DOWN THE GANG-
INNARDS AS GET WHEN MY SHIP
I
PLANK.. ' IpgFgSB** *'
.
‘For seven months...from the time ben harpers With ben harper bein' the kind of a chap he was...
SIGNED ON MY SHIP... ALL I'D HEARD FROM HIM WAS NOT AT ALL ON THE RUGGED SIDE ...AND NOT MUCH ON LOOKS
EILEEN... HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS BRIDE OF HIS WA£... EITHER... I NEVER FIGURED HIM TO HAVE LANDEO ANYTHING
Aun unuf T UAH Tn UFFT MFR ‘
LIKE THE BEAUTY THAT GREETED HIM WHEN WE REACHED
"
ikar THAT... DINNER. THEN I'Ll THIS TRIP WOULD NEVER HOME, BEN, DARLING...
BE ON MY WAY* £NDf
'But i could see from the way 'She kept lookin' at me. ..talkin'
THAT SHE TURNED HER HEAD SO'S HE WITH HER EYES. . FIRST CURIOSITY-
. ALREADY KNEW HER BET TER'N HE DID.
COULON'T KISS HER ON THE LIPS THEN AN INVITATION. YEILDING
. . X FOLLOWED THEM INTO THE LIVIN'
1
THAT E'LEEN WASN'T AS GLAO TO SEE IT WAS AN ELECTRIC THING THAT ROOM, WATCHIN EILEEN, TAKIN' IN
SEN AS SHE MADE OUT. FACT IS, PASSED BETWEEN US. .. SOMETHING PARTS MOVIN' SENSUOUSLY. THERE
AS HE WAS LOVIN' HER, SHE KEPT WE BOTH UNDERSTOOD IN THOSE WERE PICTURES BURNIN' IN M‘ BRAIN-.
LOOKIN' PAST HIM TO ME...' FIRST QUICK MOMENTS WITHOUT TATOOED WITH A WH ITE HOT NEEDLE-.'
HAVING S POKEN A WORD...'
^MONTHS,
ALL THESE LONG
BABY. . . YOU'VE '
MATT'S AGREED TO HAVE OINNER
WITH US, HON.. BUT HE WON'T
.
'Ben moved off towards the kitchen. 'Eileen did somethin’, all right, she moved towards
ME, SLOWLY, HER HIP9 SWAYIN' EVER SO EASY. SHE KEPT
SEE IF YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHIN' SURE,
LOOKIN' at me with those soft, invitin' eyes, and thei
ABOUT GETTIN’ MATT TO STAY WITH BEN. ,
'Seven months at sea without so much as 'She pulled back at first, then changed her mind,
GLIMPSIN' A WOMAN MAKES A MAN ACT WITHOUT AND MOVED IN TIGHT. SHE MELTED. .. BLENDED. .. LI KE WE
THINKIN', I GUESS. I HAD A FRENZIED IMPULSE WERE ONE. THAT’S HOW QUICK WE HIT IT OFF TOGETHER,
TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND EILEEN.. PULL HER . EILEEN AND ME.' I WAS PANTIN' HEAVY AND WIPIN' HER
TIGHT AGAIN' ME. ..CRUSH MY HUNGRY LIPS AGAII LIPSTICK WHEN SHE TEASED.. .*
HER S. A ND SUDDENLY, I WAS DOIN' IT.'. fBBB WHY'D YOU DO THAT, MATT?
‘She knew why x did it, the tantalizin’ oevil...so *
I GAVE EILEEN A BASHFUL PECK ON THE CHEEK AND
I GAVE HER A FLIP ANSWER JUST AS BEN. ..POOR, STUPID, BEN GRINNED, PLEASED AS PUNCH THAT I WAS PLEASED
LOVESICK BEN—CAME IN WITH THE DRINKS...' WITH HIS WIFE. PLEASED'? X WAS CRAZY ABOUT HER...
..IHAVEN'T HAD A HAH' I TOLD YOU TORTURED ‘CAUSE BEN WAS ALWAYS CLOSE BY IN THE
DAYS THAT FOLLOWED. BUT THEN, ONE DAY, I GOT A
CHANCE TO KISS THE 'OU'D LIKE EILEEN, I THINK
BRIDE BEFORE THIS f J CAP NT GO ON. X'VE
,
^ __
)
BE MY GUEST.. / TALKED ' WHY'D YOU HARRY r THAT’S PUTTING IT BLUNTLY,
MATT INTO IIM? YOU DON’T ISN'T IT? WELL, I’LL GIVE YOU
STAYING, LOVE HIM.' A BLUNT ANSWER' SECURITY.'
BEN... ,
‘The two weeks shot by and it ’And later, ben and i stood
WAS TIME TO SHOVE OFF AGAIN. I ON THE BRIDGE OF THE SULTANA,
SAW EILEEN ONCE MORE THE WAY X WATCHING SAN DIEGO VANISH INTO
01 D THAT FIRST OAY.. .WITH BEN’S THE MIST. THERE WAS
ARMS AROUND HER. .SHE LOOKIN’
. BETWEEN US -.ONLY OUR
OVER HIS SHOULDER. BUT THIS THOUGHTS... HIM REMEMBERIN
(What is there about a man that After a pleasant visit, x T MEN I VISITED A CERTAIN TOOTHY
LETS HIM LOVE ONE WOMAN.. .LONG REMEMBERED OTHER BUSINESS THAT GENT WHO COULD FURNISH A LOT OF
FOR HER THE WHOLE TIME HE'S ASEA... NEEDED TENDIN' TO... SO, SHOES IN INFORMATION ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS,
'AND THEN, NO SOONER'N HE HITS HAND, I PADDED OVER TO A PAPER MOST OF THEM UNWHOLESOME. HE
,
PORT, SET ABOUT HUNTIN’ FOR WALL ANO CAL LEO OUT... 7 MARKED A CRUDE BLACK CIRCLE
ANOTHER TO BE WITK BEN ANO ME AROUND A TINY DOT ON A GREASY
>
WERE NO DIFFERENT... FROM BOMBAY OLD MAP FOR WHICH X GAVE HIM ONE
TO OSAKA, JAfWN . CRISP U.S. BUCK...'f p^—
‘ILEFT THE SHODDY LITTLE SHOP AND MADE MY WAY 'WE WERE UNDER WAY AGAIN BEFORE MIDNIGHT. BEN WAS
BACK THROUGH CROOKED JAMMED STREETS TOWARD LYIN' ON HIS BUNK, WEARY, BUT NOT TOO TIRED TO TALK
THE SHIP, MY HEAO SPINNING WITH THOUGHTS OF ABOUT HIS FAVORITE TOPIC ... EILEEN. I SAT AT MY DESK,
EILEEN AND BEN AND HOW HE WASN'T GOIN* TO SEE STUDYING THE GREASY OLD MAP.
HER AGAIN... NOT IF I GOT MY BUCK'S WORTH OF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A GOOD r NOT STRAIGHT
INFORMATION OUT OF THAT HISSINl GRINNIN' OLD
GENT. . ^
.'[rmcs ' -
FEELING IT IS TO BE FINALLY
SOW HOME TO HER, MATT...
HOME, BEN.
GOT ONE SHORT
I'VE
I PROMISED I WOULD. .
IS THERE TIME FOR ME TO DO HEH.HEH. OKAY, MATEY. ^3|
SOME HUNTIN', SKIPPER?
)
J I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. . . M
'Ben*d REACTEO EXACTLY AS I’D EXPECTED HIM TO It WAS ALMOST OAWN WHEN MY FIRST MATE RETURNED
WATCHED HIM ROW ACROSS THE LAGOON TO A
REACT. I TO THE SHIP, EXHAUSTED BUT PLEASED WITH HIMSELF.
SMALL DOCK AND TIE-UP. A MINUTE LATER HE DIS- HE'D HUNTED DOWN AND GOTTEN' WHAT HE WANTED. HE'D
APPEARED INTO THE DARK, RAT- INFESTED TOWN OF THE GOTTEN MORE THAN HE WANTEO? IT TOOK TWO DAYS,
ORIENT'S ISLAND DUMPING GROUND FOR ITS THEN 8ROKE OUT...
CONDEMNED.. .CONDEMNED TO DEATH, THAT is, BY . .CAN'T PICK MYSELF gP
. YOU'LL have to doctor
BUBONIC PLAGUE/ THE BLACK DEATH.1 ROT- OUT OF M' BUNK, MATT. YOURSELF, BEN. WE'RE A
T!N6 DEATH. '
HOT... FEVER.. CHILLS, v THOUSAND MILES FROM THE
I'M SICK . .
.
.
NEAREST PORT. ..
.
^
'Ben came down fast, he started swellin' 'At THE MENTION OF THE DREAD, HIGHLY CONTAGEOUS
AROUND HIS ARMPITS AND OTHER PLACES. SOON, A CREW PALED AND SHUDDERED AS ONE MAN. IT
DISEASE, THE
FESTERING, GREENISH -YELLOW SCURF COVERED WAS PART OFMY PLAN LETTIN' THEM KNOW. .. REMINDIN'
HIM AND A STINKING, NAUSEATING SUBSTANCE OOZED THEM. BUT ONE DAY, THEY FOUND SOMETHIN' ELSE TO
FROM HIS FLESH. I KEPT CLEAR OF HIS QUARTERS OCCUPY THEIR MINDS. I FOUND 'EM TOSSIN' GARBAGE
FROM THEN ON AND ORDERED THE CREW TO DO THE OVERBOARD. .* |
MESS OF GREENISH DRIED OOZE AND GET HIM OVER THE SIDE. YA
... HIS FACE IS ALL BEN... out Y CONGEALED BLACK BLOOD. MY DIN- BILGE LICE/ DUMP HIM BEFORE
ROTTEN BLACK. 7 OF HIS
NER CAME UP SOUR IN MY THROAT...'
CAP'N... AND HIS ROOM! GOOD,
FLESH IS MOVIN' LORD! how
LIKE IT'S... CHOKE... COULD THE ^
/
CHOKE.
HE HAS US
^
ALL WASTIN' AWAY
WITH THE BLACK ROT ! ^
CRAWLIN' WITH 1 MAN WALK1?
. MAGGOTSf A
'An' THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENEDf THE HUGE BULL SPERM 'Ambergris! floating gold the spew of a
SHUDDERED CONVULSIVELY. A TREMENDOUS YELLOW AND SPERM WHALE... NEEDED FOR THE BEST PERFUMES
GREY BILLOWING MASS OF WAX-LIKE STUFF SPEWED OUT THAT FOUL-SMELLING, FATTY MESS WAS WORTH A
OF HIS CAVERNOUS MOUtH ... BUBBLING... UNDULATING ON FOR TUNE!..! r I
J 1 ,
—
THE ROLLING SURFACE...' npr~ il C REVERSE ENGINES! PREPARE TO LOWER AWAY
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, T NO! NO, BY HEAVENS ! ALL BOATS! A HUNDRED DOLLAR BONUS TO
'
BONE GLEAMING THROUGH HERE AND THERE. CAPTAIN STARKE SCREAMS NOT/OE THAT EILEEN REALLY DION'T
HORROR AT THE SIGHT AND STENCH OF HER...fl LIKE THE PERFUME MATT GAVE HER?
WHY NOT, MATT?
DIDN'T YOU SEE THE WAY HER FACE
IT'S SUCH A
LOVELY-SMELLING PERFUME. YAAAAHHb DROPPED WELL, I GOT A DATE WITH
EDITORS TO PLAY A GAME OF
_ DARLING...
HEARTS. WE USE
REAL ONES. I LL
BE BACK LATER
WITH ANOTHER
TERROR TOME. NOW
I'LL TURN YOU
OVER TO THE
VAULT-KEEPER.
BY THE WAY. THE
WHALE IN THIS
YARN WAS SORRY
HEBROUGHT
THE WHOLE
THING UPF
BYE NOW?
YOU UP FOR THE CHILLf NOW YOUR
YOU TURN AT THE SOUND AND SEE NO FISH, BUT AN YOU STAND, STARING, AS HE MOVES SOUNDLESSLY
ALMOST-NAKEO, BEARDED, BERRY-BROWN OLD MAN WITH ACROSS THE SAND TO THE BROKEN HULK OF AN ANCCNT
GREY HAIR OWN TO HIS SHOULDERS EMERGE FROM THE VESSEL THAT HAO BEEN TOSSED, HALF-HI DOEN.AMONG
THE PALMS. AS YOU WONDER WHY YOU HADN'T NOTICED
THIS GRIZZLED WRECK BEFORE, THE OLO MAN VANISHES
INTO IT THROUGH A CRUDE DOORWAY CUT INTO ITS
Then, BARNEY HOAG, YOU SWEAR The FISH BREAKS WATER, STRUG- You PACK AND LEAVE YOUR SHAT-
UNDER YOUR BREATH'. .. BECAUSE GLING TO SPITOUT THE HOOK AND TERED PARADISE, GRATIFIED AT
YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE. YOUR YOU SEE THAT IT IS A BARRACUDA. LEAST, THAT THE OLD MAN HADN'T
SOLITUDE IS GONE. YOU BEGIN TO FINALLY, YOU BRING THE VICIOUS SEE.N YOU AND SUBJECTED YOU TO
REEL IN.. .TO LEAVE IN DISGUST... SCOUNDREL OF THE SEA TO LAND. ENDLESS, BORING TALK. SUDDENLY,
WHEN YOU FEEL THE SUDDEN, STRONG YOU STARE DOWN AT YOUR GASPING ALONG BLACK SHAOOW FALLS ACfCSS
CATCH, SHIVER AT THE SIGHT OF ITS YOUR PATH. A THIN, PIPING VOICE
BARED RIPSAW TEETH. .. BRINGS YOU UP SHORT.,
DEVIL' WELL, rou'RE S/T' GIT OFF FROM THIS
THROUGH SCARING AWAY PROPITTY, MISTUH/ YOU
f
GOOD- EATING FISH' don’t BELONG here / «
Your fright of this frizzled old man with the ancient
WEAPON GIVES WAY TO ANGER AT HAVING BEEN CHEATED OF
PAIR OF DUCK PANTS THAT REEK OF DEAD FI9H.HE YOUR LONGED-FOR SOLITUDE
POINTS A RUSTY, APED MUSKET AT y OURCHEST^ I NAS GOING, YOU DIRTY OLO COOT.
BUT NOW I GOT A MIND TO STAY*
Y^rRY STAYIN,
f MISTUH, AN' I'LL 7
^
YOU HEERED ME, MISTUH ! X be cur tin' run
COME FUST TO THIS PROPITTY,
SO IT'S Dt/NEf NOW S/T, 'FORE
UPFER SHARK
nn
^
BAITf^g^
^come/^
I BLAST YUH CLEAN T' KINGDOM ^
ssgfll
Boiling with resentment; you 'I'LL SHOW THAT OLO CRANK. I'LL
There's a cold glint in his ice-
slue EYES, AND HIS SUN- BRONZED STOW YOUR GEAR INTO YOUR CAR. BURN 'IM OUT. I'LL SET FIRE TO
THEN YOU GAZE BACK TOWARDS THAT FILTHY WRECK REVIVES IN AND
CROSS-HATCHED SKIN DRAWS TAUT
THE BEACH, UNWILLING TO BOW
'
i'll BURN H/U OUTFOR BOOD
ACROSS HIS JAWS. YOU RELENT IN THE
FACE OF THE WEAPON IN THE OLO THE OLD ONE'S ILL WILL . .
Slowly, silently, stealthily you make your way YOU PICK UP THE GLITTERING OBJECT. YOU STUDY IT,
BACK TO THE BARNACLE AND SALT- ENCRUSTED WOODEN TURNING IT OVER IN YOUR HAND
^
CARCASS OF HALF A ONCE-PROUD VESSEL. YOU'RE FILLED it IS/ IT'S a BOLD CO/N/Jg
WITH VINDICTIVENESS AND CURIOSITY YOU STOP OUTSIDE
THE ROTTED DOOR. A*UETAL LIC GLEAM CATCHES YOUR
EYE ' WHAT... WH AT'S
THAT? ON THE
SAND f LOOKS
J
LIKE A. ..A. . .
Your first reaction is to bet away with your Isn't that ridiculous, barney? think again, that's
PRIZE. YOU HURRY, STUMBLING, TO YOUR C/*R...THE
ANCIENT GOLD DOUBLOON CLUTCHED TIGHTLY IN YOUR
SWEATY »LM. YOU DRIVE HASTILY OFF THE LONELY KEY.
YOU EASE UPON THE GAS. YOU STOP RUNNING. YOU YOU SIT AT A FLY-FLECKED COUNTER ...STARING AT THE
THINK SOME MORE AS YOU CRUISE SLOWLY NORTHWARD. MENU... HARDLY SEEING IT..
SOON, YOU REACH ANOTHER KEY, ROLL UP TO AN AND WHO'D BELIEVE HIM if he
EATERY THERE, AND WALK TOWARDS IT... BABBLES TO THE LAW ABOUT HIS ,
WHAT IF THE LUNATIC S GOLD THAT
BEING MISSING? FOR
IS FORTUNE,
SITTING ON A
OVERSEAS EATS I
MATTER, WHO'D MISS THEjgffli
INGOLD? what GOOD <| KEY UME PIE-BEERt Bfc OLD MAH?
WOULD IT 00 HIM? HE'S
TOO OLD TO ENJOY IT
SO, BARNEY HOAG, GREED AND You ARRIVE BACK AT " THE OLDMANS Quiet whisperings in the pines
DETERMINATION ETCH THEMSELVES KEY" ALONG WITH THE NIGHT.. .PARK ACCOMPANY YOUR SLOW APPROACH
INTO YOUR FACE AS YOU AS YOU DID THAT MORNING AMONG TO THE BEACH. THE ELEGIAC CHIRPS
MAKE YOUR DECISION... THE PALMETTOS... AND, TAKING A OF CICADAS SURROUND YOU. WITHIN,
JACKHflNDLE, YOU QUIT YOUR CAR... YOU FEEL THE RAPID THUMPING OF
I'M GOING BACK THERE. WHAT’LL
| YOUR HEART. A RISING GIBBOUS
TONIGHT AND IF HE'S » IT BE,
MOON LIGHTS YOUR WAY TO THE SAD
GOT MORE GOLD, I'M
GOING TO GET
f MISTER?
HULK AMONG THE PALMS ON THE
BEACH.
NOW YOU ARE THERE, BARNEY, YOUR YOU SEE HIM IN THE FLICKERING The element of surprise, barney^
HEAVY BREATHING BLENDING WITH CANDLE GLOW, HIS MAD EYES GLEAM- SLAM OPEN THE DOOR? THAT’S ITf
THE BREEZE BLOWN PALM FRONDS ING AS HE LETS A TRICKLE OF GOLD SCARED ALMOST OUT OF HIS WITS, THE
THAT SOUND SO MUCH LIKE A SUMMER COINS FALL THROUGH HIS GNARLED OLD MAN DROPS HIS TREASURE INTO
SHOWER, AND WITH THE GENTLE LAP- FINGERS INTO A WOODEN BOX ON THE
PING OF THE SURF UPON THE NEARBY ROUGH TABLE AT WHICH HE SITS.
SHORE. A SOFT ORANGE LIGHT GLIM- THE FAINT CHING OF CLINKING METAL
MERS THROUGH A CRACK IN THE DOOR.
YOU STEP TOWARD HIM. THE OLD MAN DROPS HIS RAG- The OLD MAN CHORTLES, PULLS BACK HIS FOREFINGER,
WRAPPED TREASURE OF DOUBLOONS TO THE FLOOR. THEN, SQUEEZING THE MUSKET'S TRIGGER. BUT NOTHING HAP-
BENDING AS THOUGH TO RETRIEVE THEM, HE COMES UP PENS. NO BLAST. NO SHOT. NOTHING. THE BOLT, FROZEN
YOU LEAP AT HIM, BRINGING THE IRON JACKHANDLE DOWN ON HIS YOU PICK UP THE BUNDLE AND EMPTY THE
YOU SCRABLE ABOUT THE BRINE - But you've got it all, barney, WELL, I'LL BE...? IT'S A TREASURE
FOULED WRECK ...ANGRY... ANGRILY AND KNOWING THAT, YOU SAG TO THE MAP 1HIOLD MAN MADE. IT rr...
SEARCHING. FLOOR, SICK AND TIRED WITH DIS- MUST be WHERE the OTHER half
APPOINTMENT. BUT THE OLD MAN'S OF THIS SHIP IS, THAT'S WHAT IT
THERE MUST BE MORE? «
PIECE OF DIRTY CLOTH CATCHES MUST BE? YEAH/ SURE' A PIRATE
THERE'S GOT TO BE MORE? YOUR EYE. . SHIP BROKEN IN TWO BY A
...
ING BACK THESE COINS FROM THE SUNK OLD MAN'S LANTERN. THAT’S IT? NOW GO OUTSIDE. LOOK OUT
HALF OF THE WRECK? IT'S OUT THERE /
WlTH YOUR SPADE, YOU SCRAPE OFF THE GREEN ALGAE Your airline fouls around the marker, stopping
AND MOSS AND SLIME. AND YOU TURN COLD, STAGGERING YOU FROM RUNNING. TERRORIZED, YOU YANK AT THE RUB-
BER TUBE. THE MARKER TILTS FORWARD, SLOWLY...FALL-
..PINNINGYOU DOWN INTO THE HOLE YOU'VE DUG... PINNING YOU DOWN. INTO "HEH.HEHf LIKE THEY SAY, KIDDIES' \
YOUR GRAVE. FOR YOU KNOW THAT BEFORE LONG, THE GAS IN THE COM- BARNEY DUG HIS HOLE... NOW HE'S
PRESSOR OUT ON THE SHORE WILL RUN OUT AiND THE AIR WILL BE GONE AND '
DYING IN IT. HE THIRSTED AFTER \
YOU'LL SUFFOCATE. THE OLD MAN... THE CRAZY OLD MAN' HE WAS RIGHT* BOLD AND SETTLED FOR A BELLY-
HE DID KNOW' HE NAS PREPARED' THE LETTERS CUT INTO THE MARKER FUL OF SALT WATER. WELL, THAT'S I
'
p /rV\
\ \WHO
V / CURIOUS
S0ME DESSERT,
|
FINALLY MADE
j/ teVjkl f GOOD f
I
Wl 1
along the corridor from one of the bedrooms, ed, started to guffaw again. "Jerko, here,” he
and he turned warily. A tow-headed five-year- exploded. "A reg’lar half-pint hero, ain't he?"
old careened into the room, deeply involved
in banking an imaginary aircraft he was pilot-
The boy’s face tightened ... he squeezed
ing. He stopped in his tracks, his mouth gap- the trigger and a stream of smoky fluid spray-
ing. "Hey!” he whinnied. "Who’s this, mom?” ed into Ed Grant's face. He dropped his gun
and a shriek of horror poured from Ed Grant's
"L-Look, mister,” the woman pleaded. "We seared lips. He staggered backwards, his eye-
don’t have much money, see? My husband’s sockets raw cavities where the eyeballs had
only a lab assistant at the chemical plant on just been burnt out of his head. One trembling
River Street. He just got outa school himself, hand went to his face . .
.
passed over the ruin-
and .
yes FANS. YOU, TOO, cm BC LUCKY UKB McLr/N, HtNt.' YOU, TVV,
.
E.C.FAN-AVMCT
AND RECEIVE YOUR MEMBERSHIP KIT ( WHICH INCLUDES A FULL-COLOR 7&XI0& ILLUMINATED
CERTIFICATE, A STURDY WALLET IDENTIFICATION CARD, A SNAZZY EMBROIDERED SHOULDER
CUB
PATCH, AND A STUNNIN& ANTIQUE BRONZE- FINISH BAS-RELIEF PIN) PLUS A FREE ..
the latest sack of sordid stamped squares containing The trap has been sprung,
crude correspondence from .you creeps. So I’ll just My neck has been wrun^
stick my honey paw into the .. YEEEEEO . W! WW My tongue is just danglin',
Hmmmmph! Very funny! Somebody sent a large scor- I know that I'm done.
pion in a small envelope. A stinging trick! Where My face is all red,
was l? Oh, yes so I’ll just stick a pair of tweezers
. . .
I know that I'm dead,
into the old mail sack and print a few poems and stuff I'm swinging, swinging in the rain.
for your perusal.
Imre Horvath of The Bronx, N. Y. pens this Putrid
Clara Estelle Crossland of McKeesport, Pa. who
Parody to the tune of "I'm Looking Over A Four-Leaf claims to he a poet in the strictly artistic sense of the
Clover’’:
word, submits this lovely little sentiment to pluck your
heart strings:
I'm running you over
With a sharp lawn mower My boyfriend is a charming thing
That I never used before. Move him cause he is so sweet.
The first blade's for chopping. One side of his ugly face is gone.
The second will hack, The other hangs with rotted meat.
The third will disjoin
Your head from your neck. Raymond Neuman of Chicago, III. writes these
No need explaining. poetic wishes
The one remaining Oh, for the life of a vampire,
You won't hear anymore. That's what I really crave.
I'm running you over To prowl the face of earth at night.
With a sharp lawn mower And sleep each day in a grave.
That I never used before.
John Neidkowski of Maspetb, N. Y. decries his fate
with this gem:
From the creative claw of John M. Guite who lives
in a box in Waterville, Me. comes this Sceam Song Blood and Guts
Satire of the tune "Heart of my Hearts": All over the street.
And me without
Part of my heart, A spoon to eat.
Then pearl grinned. SHE WALKED SLOWLY ACROSS She STOPPED AT THE DESK, HER MIND RACING... SCHEMI
THE LIVING ROOM, HER VOLUPTUOUS FIGURE SWAYING PLANNING HER NEXT MOVE. SHE FINGERED THE D'SPOS-
SENSUOUSLY... SESS NOTICE SHE'D RECEIVED IN THE MORNING MAM.. .
BUT HE /J .A MAN' HE'S GOT ALL OF THE THEY'VE GIVEN ME A WEEK TO FORK OVER THREE
Pearl pondereo her problem another moment The elevator operator eyed her up and down and
AND THEN, WITH HER LOVELY FACE ASSUMING A GRINNED LASCIVIOUSLY WHEN SHE ASKED HIM THE INF0F
DETERMINED AIR, SHE HURRIED INTO THE BEDROOM MATION SHE NEEDED. IT WAS OBVIOUS HE'D HEARD OF
TO DRESS ... HER PLIGHT. .
MR. HOWARD ELLI.S IS MY ONLY OUT/ l‘VE I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT WHAT M WHY DON'T YOU FIND
GOT TO GET HIM ...tfMT WAYOR THE OTHER./ ELLIS DOES FOR A LIVING? OUT WHAT J*CAN DO,
WHAT FIRM HE WORKS FOR? INSTEAD, HONEY?
Pearl knew when to act haughty Pearl cr§ssed the lobby to the
AND INDIGNANT. UNDER OTHER CIR- AS HE RUBBED HIS BEET-RED CHEEK PHONE BOOTHS AND SCANNED THE
CUMSTANCES, THE ELEVATOR OPERA- WHERE SHE'D SLAPPEO IT. THEN, CITY DIRECTORY. ..
TOR MIGHT HAVE AROUSED HER SHE COLDLY REPEATED . . ELLEN.. .ELLER. ..ELLIS. AH,
INTERESTS, BUT NOW.
I ASKED YOU IF ) HE... HE'S A HERE IT IS? HOWARD ELLIS AND
why, you FRESH. YOU KNEW MR. ELLIS'S ) STOCK ASSOCIATES, INC., STOCK BROKERS,
rr BUSINESSf \ y BROKER. INVESTMENT COUNSELORS, 231
% •"Vr'^aKTTf . I... THINK HE —T WALL STREET...
jwrf !b MAS H,s OWN
FIRMf >
Outside the luxurious apartment, pearl con- At noon, pearl was at the entrance to 231 wall
templated HAILING A CAB, THEN CONSIDERED HER STREET, HER CAMPAIGN FOR THE CONQUEST OF THE UN-
WANING FINANCES, AND WALKED UPTHE SIDE STREET SUSPECTING MR. ELLIS CRYSTAL-CLEAR IN HER MIND.
TO THE SUBWAY. SHE RODE UNCOMFORTABLY IN THE I’LL CON HIM INTO TAKING ME TO
CROWDED ROARING CHASM, HER DAINTY NOSE TWITCH- LUNCH AND HE'LL SEE I'M NO
ING SCORNFULLY AT THE SUFFOCATING SCENT OF THE
CHEAP DA NET he'll SEE I ,
HUMANITY SURROUNDING HER. SHE TRIED TO LOSE sot HIGH-CLASS TASTES <
HERSELF IN HER PLAN OF STRATEGY. HE' LI OH-OH? HERE HE yJi
I I'LL WAIT FOR HIM OUTSIDE THE : COMES. . .AND HERE 160.. .
TAKING YOU TO LUNCH. THE BA MISS DRAKE... ANT UNDEP CLASS '
? PLAZA, DRIVER? ,
-
r
SOUNDS DELICIOUS L TOAST AND A 6LASS OF
mm ^
m
But HOWARD ELLIS PHONED PEARL THE NEXT DAY Pearl knew where to find atmosphere congenial to
FROM HIS OFFICE ANO HERCONFIDENCE IN HER EVENT- ROMANCE. THE RIDE THROUGH THE PARK IN THE HANSOM
UAL SUCCESS WAS RESTORED. CAB WAS JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR HAD ORDERED. SOON,
HOWARD WAS HOLDING HER HAND AND WHISPERING SOFTLY
WELL, PEARL? WHAT t IT'S SUCH A LOVELY
IT IS A LOVELY NIGHT, PEARL. BUT ^ WHY, H OWARD..^
SHALL IT BE TONIGHT fNlGHT, HOWIE, I'D RATHER
NOT BE INDOORS LET'S
TAKE A HANSOH THROUGH
NOT NEARLY AS LOVELY AS YOUARE? BBK
W THE PARK.'
Pearl was an old hand at this And she knew how to act shy and Soon they were back outside
GAME OF TRAPPING A MAN. SHE KNEW COY AND SURPRISED WHEN HE'D HER APARTMENT. PEARL LEANED
HOW TO PRESS HER ADVANTAGE- FINALLY FALLEN INTO HER LITTLE AGAINST HER DOOR, FINGERING
HOW TO MOVE HER SOFT FULL- LI PS TRAP- HOWARD'S COAT LAPEL AND GENTLY,
CLOSE TO HIS... INVITING
...
I-1M SORRY, DIDN'T GENTLY DRAWING HIM AGAINST HER
QUIVERING BODY... WHISPERING...
PEARL !1 SHOULDN'T) MIND, HOWIEf
HA
HAVE DONE THAT... j I... I'M VERY
FOND of you'
She KfSSEO HIM WITH MOIST RAVISHING HUNGRY It WAS warm the NEXT TH^RE
EVENING. wasno moon and
the
LIPS.SHE KISSED HIM AS SHE KNEW HE'O NEVER SW HUNG DARK OVERHEAD. PEARL COULD SENSE THE OEEP TEN-
BEEN KISSED BEFORE. AND THEN SHE LEFT HIM SION IN HOWARD AS THEY WALKED HOME. SHE WAITED PATIENTU
STANDING THERE... LIMP -TREMBLING ...GASPING FINALLY, HE STOPPED BENEATH A LAMP POST AND HE SAW A NEW
FOR BREATH. SHE LOCKED THE DOOR BETWEEN EAGER DETERMINED LOOK IN HIS EYES...
THEM AND STOOD IN THE DARKNESS OF HER PEARL' NEED OH, HOWARD f IF YOU
APARTMENT. GRINNING WITH SATISFACTION - YOU' I-MH/WYOU' ] ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH
ONCE MORE LIKE THAT AND HE'LL BE BEGG/NG..
AND IT'D BETTER BE SOON I've ONLY
te i need you? mm
GOT A FEW DAYS LEFT BEFORE I GET WnmJ
sagr KICKED OUT |Br3nnnl l
And then pearl saw the coffin in the gloom ...the [Howard pushed pearl toward the froth ing.craving,
[hideous CREATURE...
OLO COFFIN WITH THE LID SQUEAKING OPEN. ..THE PALID
WHITE FIGURE RISING FROM IT...BITS OF EARTH DROP- I TOLD YOU X WANTED I
NO.' NO'
PING FROM ITS FLOWING BLACK CAPE... THE RAZOR- SHARP YOU FOR NY WIFE' OH, LORD!
SNAKErLIKE FANGS. -THE OOZING SPITTLE
r MY SOD ''H HAT
. IS IT, THIS IS MY WIFE,
HOWIE? WHAT IS IT? ,
PEARL? SHE'S A
j
7 VAMPIRE' -m
ANO HOWARD SAT DOWN AND WATCHED WITH SATISFACTION AS HIS SO POOR PEARL FINALLY FOUND HER LAST
LIVING-DEAD WIFE SPRANG UPON THIS LATEST DESERVING VICTIM HUSBAND-SUCKER ONLY in THIS CASE, |
HE'D BROUGHT. HE LISTENED EAGERLY TO HER GLUTTONOUS SLURP- IT WAS THE HUSBAND'S WIFE WHO WAS THE
ING NOISES. HE NODDED APPROVINGLY AS THE PINK GLOW CAME SUCKER.. BLOOD- SUCKER, THAT IS? HEH, j
BACK INTO HER SUNKEN CHEEKS, AND PEARL'S WRITHINgJlODY HEH ? WELL .THE OLD WITCH AWAITS WITH \
OIFU.'.A THAT'S FRENCH. PIENDS?)...HAVE I GOT A REVOLTING TALE FOR YOU. WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S COOKING
IN MY CRUODT CAST-IRON CAULDRON? WELL, YOUR OLD WITCH HAS A GORY SLAB OF GRISLY GAB ABOUT
a TERROR TIME and a FAST OPERATOR who brouqht a MESSY MATTER TO A HEAD and CUT IT OFF TNEHEf
SO WIPE THE DROOL FROM YOUR CHINS, BEND YOUR FLOPPY EARS THIS WAY, AND LISTEN TO THIS DELIGHTFUL
TALE OF BUTCHERY CALLED... <
I That ioth of march, 1795, was grim and grey with rain
THREATENING IN THE OMINOUS BLACK CLOUDS THAT BIL-
LOWED OVERHEAD. A RAW WINO HOWLED FURIOUSLY ABOUT
THE CRIMSON-STAINED GUILLOTINE, BUT IT COULD NOT CLEAR
THE BEFOULED AIR OF ITS ABATOIR AROMA. UNDERFOOT, COBBLE-
STONES WERE SLIPPERY WITH CONGEALING GORE, WHILE FRESH
WARM BLOOD BUBBLED IN A CONSTANT FLOW DOWN THE GUT-
TERS AS THE GREAT BLADE HISSED DOWN AGAIN AND AGAIN,
HEAPING THE BASKET WITH WIDE-EYED NOBLE HEADS. THERE,
CALMLY, STOOO THE MAN OF THE HOUR, THE EXECUTIONER,
ANDRE VACHE, AMID THE JEERING, HOOTING, RED-BONNETED
CITIZENRY, READING AN URGENT MESSAGE JUST H ANDED TO
* PLEASURE,
AND IF A THOUSAND GOLD LOUIS J AS ANDRE HURRIED AWAY FROM THE AWFUL SCENE...
INTEREST YtfEl, THEN VISIT ME AT 49 ANORE...
RUE DUBOIS." HMMM? PIERRE, I MUST A HIS BLOOD-SOAKED SHOES LEAVING RED IMPRINTS ON
LEAVE? CARRY ON FOR ME, EH? THE PAVING STONES ...HE EAGERLY RE-READ THE NOTE
HE'D RECEIVED...
ABOUT HIM. . „i t
- - CITIZEN
)
SOME OF THE A FORTUNE, M'SIEU. SHOULD ANY-
XD 4
yJFROM MY CELLAR,
courbeau. that finest wine THINGHAPPEN TO CLAUDE,
AH, M'SIEU VACHEf I AM JEAN I WHY I AM
COURBEAU. it is A GREAT A IS
RERE.f MI0NOW...X
GET /TALL, you UNDERSTAND?
HONOR INDEED TO HAVE 90 tf
IMPORTANT and DISTINGUISHED fjtam. ,-w ssj will EXPLAIN
A VISITOR AS YOU IN MY HOME. .
j
TOU... ./<
|
YOU WANT ME TO RIO NOT MUNokR, MON AMI. Vah.that is a DIFFERENT STORY /'you are a W/SE 1
]
YOU OF YOUR BROTHER, MERELY AN ACCUSATION... M'SIEU COURBEAU. IF YOUR BROTHER* I MAN, M'SIEU VACHE.
CITIZEN COURBEAU? I
to the RIGHT PARTIES.. is ONE OF THEM. A ROYALIST.. JDO NOT THINK I AM
. .
.
SAPRISTI...YOU INSINUATE
I WOULD MURDER A MAN.
EVEN FOR THAT MUCH
NANO THE HEAD OF
/SYMPATHIZER would
< THEN I WILL BE GLAD TO EXPOSE NOT FOND OF MY
ANOTHER ROYALIST HIM. IT WOULD BE MY DUTY ' BROTHER. BUT THERE
KRE TWO THINGS X
^J
*
:
DEATH*
INNOCENT MAN can be DRAGGED FROM his HOME
ON THE EL/MIEST OF PRETEXTS. accused of J
Citizen marat held up his hand He LOOKED AT HIS FELLOW JUDGES. Citizen marat raised his hand
AND A HUSH FELL OVER THE CHAM- THE WORD AND DROPPED A SQUARE OF BLACK
BER. THEN, SCOWLING DARKLY AT
WHAT SAY ( WE HAVEEMINENT
YOU CITIZENS?> OF THE
CREPE... AND WITH THIS SYMBOLIC
GESTURE, THE CROWD ROARED ITS
THE ACCUSED, HE WHISPERED. .
this is your DEFENSE,
.
s-y-f
f
—M
Ml EXECUTIONER,
ANDRE VACHE,
A
A APPROVAL... IS —m
M'SIEU COURBEAU.. THAT WE
.
JB CITIZEN MARAT f 1
Jean courbeau turned sickly green, he Andre went light-heartedly through the evening streets,
WHIMPERED SOFTLY. THE GOLD JINGLING IN HIS POCKETS, THE SACK SWINGING MERRILY
TAKE TOUR M ONE Yf HERE gasp/ AT HIS SIDE. A COACH RUMBLEO BY, AND HE PLAYFULLY TOSSED
THE RED- SOAKED BAG THROUGH ITS WINDOW..
SET.. GET IT OUT OF HERE! CHOKE...
.
,
^
\a.
MASTER OF FRANCE ) THOU-
. . aN
REVOLT SO LIGHTLY /CITIZEN/ YOU
THAT IT AMUSES SPEAK TO
L . ..ROBESPIERRE/ ysA NO
//VACHE,
.
PARDONS,
YOU TO THROW MAS -
YOUR
ABOUT THE HEAD TER OF THE
)
EXCELLENCY/
OF AN ENEMY? JGUILLOTINE/
Andre did not see the sack land I WAS IN THE When andre returned to his room-
IN THE bottom of a skiff that SQUARE when house, he WAS greeteo by his
CAME FROM UNDER THE BRIDGE ARCH. HE SOT THIS
THE HEAO ROLLED OUT AND THE TOOAY, HENRI? HE
HELD IT UP FOR
Andre hurried out into the street with The head dropped to andre's feet as it tore through the
THE BLOOD-SOAKED BAG. HE STOPPEO OVER A SACK’S BLOOD- ROTTED BOTTOM. THE CLOTH DISAPPEARED
SEWER-GRATE. INTO THE DANK-REEKING DARKNESS. ANDRE HESITATED, STUPIDLY,
AS AN OXCART, HEAPED WITH HEADLESS CORPSES, ROUNDED THE
MEN, CLAUDE C0UR8EAU' SO THEY PLAY
' EH,
CORNER.
GAMES WITH US' WELL, PERHAPS THE RATS
VACHE! IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU' TAKE THEM AWAY,
DOWN THERE WILL FIND YOU TEMPTING. . .
'
LOOKfREGO0HIZ SOME OF
r YOUR CUSTOMERS?
^m BODIN' 00 BURY
THEM!
.
Andre stood over the grinning head, hiding BoDIN SHRUGGED AND THE OX-CART RUMBLED OFF. ANDRE
IT FROM THE CART-DRIVER’S VIEW. . TURNED TO THE HEAD, ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED. HE REACHED
I'M IN NO HURRY, VACHE. LETy LET ME s FOR IT SAVAGELY. . .
OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND WITH A GLASS OF BRANOX THEN YOU SEEM IN A I HAVE COME 1
SMILED AT THE JOKE HE MADE. . . HE RETURNED HOME AND, MEETING JOVIAL MOOD
j
'into SOME WEALTH
HIS LANDLADY, GOOD- NATO REDLY ANO CHOKE-
r NOW, M'SIEU NOBODY, IN AMONG THE TONIGHT, CITI- I ... 1-
CABBAGES with you. BEHAVE. / RELIEVED HER OF HER SHOPPING ZEN VACHE? A
)
Claude courbeau’s head grinned up at andre from T HE LANDLADY MOANED ANO TURNED AWAY, SICK. ANDRE,
AMONG THE VEGETABLES MADAM BARETTE EMPTIED OUT SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY. FLUNG OPEN THE SHUTTERS
A MOMENT LATER. MONSIEUR ETIENNE. ANOTHER BOARDER ANDRE FUMED, THE BLOOD DRAINING FROM HIS FACE.
FROM THE TABLE. ..THEN TURNED
MONSIEUR ETIENNE...
Andre stumbled to his room and T HEN, WEAK AND EXHAUSTED. HIS An hour passed, paris was asleep,
INTESTINES ROILING AND QUIVERING the night was still, except for an
WITH A RAGE THAT VERGED ON MAD-
LIKE JELLY, THE EXECUTIONER SANK OX-CART THAT RUMBLEO BY BELOW.
NESS. HE KNEELED ON THE FLOOR AND
ON HIS BED IN A COM A -LIKE STUPOR ANDRE STIRRED AT ITS NOISE AND
HACKED AT THE LIFELESS FLESH AND
SAT UP. HE LISTENED TO THE FRONT
BONE UNTIL HE'D REDUCED IT INTO AN
UNRECOGNIZABLE HEAP OF MINCE - /f DOOR OPEN ...THE HEAVY DRAGGING
^—
ucat FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS... THE
v-
KNOB OF HIS OWN DOOR TURN... AND
rmw.Lcrs see you come*' a
I sack 'NOW! NOW
GOURBEAU f.
OH, LORD...CHOV.Z'...T- I
CAN'T GIVE IT TO KO 'no' KEEP AWAY-y-^zY-y.
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A
^
HEH, HEH! WELL,
MEET AGAIN, BOILS AND
IT’S BEEN TOO LONG,I
WE ^
GHOULS'.
MISSED YOU- ^
^ SHE’S A REAL
BUT MY AIM IS GETTING MUCH BETTER! YOU LOOKER, ISN’T
DISMEMBER MY TWO FIENDS AND ME, DON’T SHE?!DROP DEAD
YOU? WE’RE GHOULUNATICS, TELLERS OF GORGEOUS!
TWISTED TALES OF TERROR AND SHOCK
SUSPENS TORIESl I’M THE CRYPT-KEEPER ,
1
f UKgg (
1 VJ"V l&cvSKyjf A i^H
wmS04
Kv Vw A
NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS IN THE TOWN OP CRANWELL, NEW JERSEY. THAT'S WHY, WHEN ELDERLY GLADYS PRICE
DIED,PEOPLE NOTICED, ESPECIALLY MIKE AND LINDA ANDERSON, THE MARRIED COUPLE WHO LIVED NEXT DOOR.
I WONDER
~IT'S HARD TO” WHO'S OOINO
BELIEVE SHE'S TO MOVE INTO
OONE. SHE WAS vHER HOUSE. .
OLD EVEN WHEN
. I WAS A KID.^
WVVn
DURINO THE NEXT SIX MONTHS, ALL THE CUSTOMERS AT THE LOCAL DINER
WHERE MIKE WORKED AS A COOK, AND LINDA, AS A WAITRESS, HAD IDEAS. ..
" I HEARDN
SOME
WEALTHY
COMPUTER
OUY WAS
LOOKING
THE PLACE
k OVER. A
MILLIE AT^B
* THE REAL 1
'ESTATE office’
SAID A
DOCTOR HAD ,
L EXPRESSED i
k INTEREST.^
r C'MON, LET'S ^
W
r
YEAH, THAT'S^!
MY IDEA OF ^
FOLLOW HIM FUN-TAILINO SOME
AND SEE WHERE WEIRDO IN THE J
HE OOES. v S.MIDDLE OF THE J
NIOHT/
7^ THIS COULD
BE A WILD OOOSE
CHASE, BUT I DON'T
. CARE. I WANT ,
ANSWERS.
^ I'D LIKE
ANSWERS
^
TOO.
LIKE WHAT MADE ME
SAY, "l DO" FIFTEEN
yEARS AGO?
WHERE'S HE ^
rOOINO? WE'VE BEEN
DRIVINO FOR 10
MINUTES ALREADy.
AND I'M LOSINO MY NOTHING IN THIS
DIRECTION, THAT
^ BEAUT/ SLEEP, a
^
IS EXCEPT... a
F\..THE
r
TOWN^1
CEMETERY/ 50 W
'
MAYBE HE'S ^
VISITING THE LAST'
THAT'S WHERE COUPLE THAT FOL-
.HE'S BEEN GOING/, LOWER HIM AROUNRi
L. BUT WH/? ^ Ik AT NIGHT. A
r
THERE HE IS/^
THIS IS REALLY
CREEP// EVEN r KEEP YOUR ^
.SCARIER THAN OUR.
Ik HONEYMOON/ A VOICE ROWN; WE
RON'T WANT HIM
TO HEAR US.
r ~
ANR WE
RON'T WANT
TO WAKE UP
v ANYONE. >
HE'S PAINTING
A PICTURE/
mu,
GUESS STAMP
i
~
COLLECTING ISN'T
.FOR EVERYONE. .
r THESE MUST BE
SOME OF HIS PAINTINGS/
UOOK AT ALL THOSE CORPSES'
YOU PON'T THINK HE
rVACTUALLYpo you?THEM
v
up,
PICS .
rMARTY IF HE HAP,
AT THE
^1
POLICE STATION
WOULP'VE SAIP
SOMETHING AT OUR
WEEKLy POKER ,
v
V C-AME. X
/
KROLL'S PAINTINGS OF x
N
ORAVEYARDS AND CORPSES
ARE PART OF AN IMPORTANT
NEW ART MOVEMENT CALLED, .
V
AT LEAST ANOTHER
HALF HOUR. ^ A
TWO HOURS LATER.
'WE'RE IN HIS \
BACKYARP/
WE'RE HALFWAY
THERE. A T NOW REMEMBER,
YOU'RE STANPING
^
WATCH OUTSIPE. CALL
ME ON YOUR CELL IF
THERE ARE ANY SIGNS.
L- OF TROUBLE. ^
fYOUR
HEY, KEEP
SHIRT
>
ON,
TOM CRUISE--THIS
ISN'T MISSION
\ IMPOSSIBLE/ V
HIMSELFC INTO
IJIAACCI llirn HIS MCI/^IJQOD'C BASEMENT.
IJIC NEIGHBOR'S £2 AAChlT ’
rTHISLOOK AT ALL ^
JUNK, LOOKS
IT
LIKE A RUMMAGE
SALE AT STEPHEN
L
.
KING'S HOUSE.
T
/ you THINK 1|
I XT'STOO RISK// WE MR TOO SMALL. WAIT J
\ HAVE MORE THAN
ENOUOH/ PON'
\ HERE, I'LL BE BACK
IN TEN MINUTES.
£
.OET OREEPy'^.
PON'T MOVE
OR I'LL
shoot you/
F
r
KROLL?/
BUT
^1
yOU'RE
SUPFOSEP
TO BE AT THE
OALLERy IN i
NEW A
l
L yORK/ ^
LOOK,
UH, X CAN
EXPLAIN...
YOU CAN THERE'S NO
EXPLAIN ALL NEED TO CALL
YOU LIKE TO THE COPS...
THE POLICE.
i
m
ka
% eTHm
,
AFTER OETTINO BACK TO HIS HOUSE, M IKE TOLD LINDA WHAT
HAPPENED. THEN HE SHOWERED, CHANGED CLOTHES, AND
TOGETHER, THEY OOT INTO THEIR CAR AND DROVE TO THEIR
STORAGE UNIT OUTSIDE OF THE NEXT TOWN...
f
AND THE ^
/OTHERS... 1
THAT
BLUE DRESS... THE
STRIPED SHIRT...
THEY'RE KROLL'S a
^
v
XL MODELS//
E.*E5
MK
THE NEXT DAY THE POLICE FOUND MIKE AND LINDA DEAD. THEY'D BOTH HAD HEART ATTACKS. THE
ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING, ACCORDING TO THE MEDICAL EXAMINER,
INCS WERE RECOVERED, AND SENT TO JACK KROLL'S ONLY LIVINO RELATIVEj AN OLD £UNT, WHOM,
FOR SOME REASON, THOUGHT THEY WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINOS SHE D EVER SEEN.
YOU GOT TO ADMIT, THOSE MORBID MAS-
TERPIECES ARE WORTH DIEING FOR! EXCUSE
ME FOR A SECOND AS GET ALL BIBLICAL
I
^ ON MY CRYPT-GUESTS... ^
^ A VALUABLE LESSON...
~ ...JUST LIKE
THOMAS DONALLEY
WILL IN THIS TALE
w I CALL...
AN ABOMINATION
BOPN OF NATURE,
RADIOACTIVE WASTE,
AND EVIL/ I
sufii
BEHOLP
CeOC-O'ZOIOt
TOMMy.'
THEy APEN'T
DOLLS, MOM.'
r THEy'PE FULLy-^
POSEABLE, MICPO-
APTICULATED ACTION
^ FISUPES' A
^Ll
/ /'aND I WASN"''\3H'-
( EVEN LOOKING )K
AT 'EM.' V,
rr
‘ y//K. v K. m\ '(U
y
V\ 0. \ >
Vi * |
m Jrtm* 1
wMi iyl j
[< J\
THINS OP PENULTIMATE
EXCELLENCE, WHEPE
HAVE yOU SEEN M
• WHOLE LIFE?
y t-
l p, i
Arr^ J p ,
~~7r peoeASLy bettep
~
IP WE DONT HANDLE IT.
SEPIOUS COLLECTOPS WILLING
TO DPOP A HUNDPED BUCKS ON
kA PIECE LIKE THIS APE PICKy
ABOUT CONDITION.
I CAN FIND A
DOZEN OF THESE S I'LL BE PPICINS
ONLINE FOP UP yO-SI-MON CAPDS
HALF THAT.' . IF yOU NEED ANy >
^ 2k
vv>> MOPE HELP,
IF IHAVE
to woppy
ABOUT WHAT
,you APE UP ,
* k TO DOWN {
I
WHy DIDN'T
ASK HIM WHAT ^ HEPE.' A
THE STUPID THINS
WAS CALLED?.' J
Hey, will you loan A HUNDRED
ME A HUNDRED SUCKS DOLLARS?.'
UNTIL PAyDAy? .
WHAT DO yOU^
NEED A HUNDRED
DOLLARS POP? .
K 1 1 \ mn ' i
f ,'j) HU
IT'S FOP My \
COLLECTION/^^H
Q
^ C'MON/^
i'll you
PAy
^ ASSOLUTELy ^
not.' you've sot
^ SACK.' « ENOUSH DOLLS
-v AS IT IS.'
r IF IT
one of youp
WAS ^ ^WATCH yOUR^^
MOUTH, yOUNS
STUPID CUTIEZ MAN, OP I'LL START
FISUPINES, chapsins you POP
you'D sive it ^POOD AS AIN.' ^
^ TO ME.' A I DON'T
NOW SO CAPE WHAT
TO BED.' SHE SAyS .'
I'VE SOT TO
SET THAT MONEy
SOMEHOW' r
THE HOUPS SEEM TO FLy BY
r
y£AH, >USH< I'M TOO
MOM.' TIPEDTO KEEP My
£y£S FOCUSED
[ ANyLONSEP. 1
.J EVEN IF THE
DPASON'S HOAPD WILL SIVE
ME HALF OF WHAT I PAID FOP
THAT IMPOPT FISUPE, I STILL
WON'T HAVE ENOUSH TO PAY
"7 MACMILLANS BACK BY IT
v— tomoppow.' rminn
i
MAYBE
THEY'LL BUY
SOME OF
L MY OTH-
HOW
COULD you?
^ TOMMy, ^
WHAT'S WCONS
. with you?.' >
^ ,
r WE'VE SOT ^
yOUP STATEMENT.
WE'U. CALL
you IF WE HAVE
ANy QUESTIONS.
f ri Hi/
>
r
rj if
1
/ ^ ^
/JJ 1
r III
.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
^WE'PEANy
IN EVENT,
soppy FOP
THOSE STUPID COPS,
NEVEP SUSPECTED
^ youp loss. ^ A THINS.' M
ALSO, DON'T
LEAVE TOWN.
UH,
THANKS.
I MEAN, I
WON'T.
H£y, WHAT'S
THAT?.'
HELLO?.' AAASH'
ALPISHT,
WHOEVEP
you APE.'
I'VE HAD JUST
A80UT ENOUSH
. OF THIS.' .
AAAAAAGH!
I HAVE
TO GET OUT
. OF HEPE' ^
AAAA&Hf
NOOOOOOf you/
you spousht
THEM TO LIFE
SOMEHOW.'
HOW COULD
YOU TUPN My OWN FULLy-
POSEA6LE, MICPO-APTICU-
. LATED ACTION FICUPES
^^ASAINST ME? ^
STAy AW Ay.'
rrr »
r
A Am v. v I
Translation:
“SUPER EVIL DEMON ROBOT!
“COMES TO LIFE!
“FOR SERIOUS
WRECKS YOUR HOME!
COLLECTORS ONLY”
“NOW 250% MORE CURSED!"
...I MAKE SURE TO ACCURATELY DEGRADE! AFTER
ALL, IF THERE’S ANYTHING YOU LEARN IN A CRYPT,
IT’S HOW TO GET YOUR COLLECTIBLES SLABBED! AND I
known for its graphic novels such as Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys which contain material
suitable for all-ages, as the HBO TALES FROM THE CRYPT series certainly contained a fair
were entertaining stories told in good taste. Ultimately, comicbook publishers adversely affected
by the negative publicity created the Comics Magazine Association of America which would
review comics and award a seal of approval to assure parents that the comic's contents were safe,
wholesome entertainment.
Unfortunately, it was too late for many publishers, as the negative publicity had so hurt sales of
comics that many comicbook companies went out of business. EC Comics, tried to hang in
there, but despite canceling their horror comics, and creating new titles such as "Valor” and
"Psychoanalysis,” only MAD comics, in a new magazine format, survived.
The question is, was TALES FROM CRYPT really all that bad? “Of course not!” Salicrup insists.
“Ironically, many of the original stories would be approved by today's revised Comics Code, but
sure, there were some stories that still wouldn’t get by. The point here is that the stories that
Papercutz will be creating will be aimed at readers age 10 and up. Instead of excessive blood and
gore, we’ll be sticking to the TALES FROM THE CRYPT tradition of stories filled with inter-
esting characters, lots of dark humor, and of course, the trademarked EC "shock” endings!"
But ultimately it’s you who will decide if we succeeded or failed. Send your comments to us at
salicrup@papercutz.com or to THE CRYPT-KEEPER’S CORNER, PAPERCUTZ, 40 Exchange
Place, Ste. 1308, New York, NY 10005. We'll run the most interesting comments in our next
issue, which is coming your way in just 60 days.
When reached for comment, The Crypt-Keeper said, "It's good to be back, boils and ghouls-
and it’s about time! Ahahahah!”
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NANCY DREW graphic novel #9
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