DECEMBER

© Galaxy
MAGAZINE
1961 « 50 *

£ The Day After Doomsday great new novel by poul anderson

 AT LAST!
You can paint
an original picture
like this, using real
artists' oil paints . .
the

m
Vte'A-kns m Trade Mark
(overlay) way
JUST AS A TEACHER by
your side, this entirely new
and original method shows
you in actual size and color
how and what to do. You
compare your progress,
step-by-step, with the easy-
to-follow VIS-A-LENS, and
THERE are some things that cannot organization) an age-old brotherhood
before you realize it, you be generally told — things you ought to of learning, have preserved this secret
are actually painting. know. Great truths are dangerous to wisdom in their archives for centu-
some — but factors for personal power ries.They now invite you to share the
A choice of subjects avail- i and accomplishment in the hands of practical helpfulness of their teachings.
,

able —
get yours now those who understand them. Behind
the tales of the miracles and mysteries
Write today for a free copy of the
book, "The Mastery of Life.” Within
Price includes Vis-A- of the ancients, lie centuries of their its pages may lie a new
only life of oppor-
Lens, 12x16 inch Art secret probing into nature's laws — tunity for you. Address: Scribe L.N R.
.95
.

Board, 6 tubes Oil their amazing discoveries of the hid-

Paint, Oil, Turpentine, den processes of man’s mind, and the j SEND THIS COUPON
2 Brushes, 16 page In- mastery of life’s problems. Once shroud- ! Scribe L N.R.
struction Book. ed in mystery to avoid their destruc- i
The ROSICRUCIANS (AMORC)
i San Jose, California
tion by mass fear and ignorance, these
VIS-A-LENS is sold by Aldens, Please send me the free book, The Mastery 1

facts remain a useful heritage for the J

of Life, which explains how I may learn to

Montgomery Ward, Sears, Roe- thousands ofmenand woraenwho pri-
i

i use my faculties and powers of mind.

[

buck & Co. and leading depart- vately use them in their homes today. 1

1
-
Name
1

ment stores, coast to coast. If THIS FREE BOOK Address

I

your local stores do not have it,

The Rosicrucians (not a religious City_
ask them to order an assortment.
Address inquiries to:
WSe Rosicrucians (AMORC) SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA, U.S.A.

Vis -a -lens, Inc., 530 E. Bainbridge St., Elizabethtown, Penna.

ALL STORIES NEW • NO REPRINTS

Galaxy
MAGAZINE v
DECEMBER, 1961 • VOL. 20 NO. 2

M-51 in Canes Venatici. This

CONTENTS galaxy, as large as our own,
is so distant that its light
BOOK LENGTH NOVEL (First of Two Parts) takes millions of years to
THE DAY AFTER DOOMSDAY 8 reach us.

by Poul Anderson
WAY
NOVELETTES ROBERT M. GUINN
WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 110 Publisher
by Algis Budrys
AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS
by Margaret St. Clair
148
FREDERIK POHL
Managing Editor
OUT
THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN’T QUITE 178 WILLY LEY
Science Editor
by William W. Stuart

SHORT STORIES SAM RUVIDICH

Art Director
OH, RATS! 68
by Miriam Allen deFord
GALAXY MAGAZINE Is published

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED 90 bi-monthly by Galaxy Publishing

Corporation. Main offices: 421
by Joy Leache Hudson Street, New York 14,
N. Y. 500 per copy. Subscrip-
RAINBIRD 132 tion: (6 copies) S2.50 per year
in the United States, Canada,
LOT

A
by R. A. Lafferty Mexico, South and Central of things combined credible size of our galactic lens.

ARTICLE
America and U. S. Possessions.
Elsewhere $3.50. Second-class
postage paid at New York, N. Y.
— our cover, our new Start with a single statistic:
Poul Anderson serial and There are some 80,000,000,000
THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO 168 and Holyoke, Mass. Copyright,

by Theodore L. Thomas
New York 1961, by Galaxy Pub-
lishing Corporation, Robert M.
—
even the time of year make us stars in our galaxy alone.
Guinn, President. All rights, in- take a look at the sky. Anderson If Earths almost three billion
cluding translations reserved.
SCIENCE FEATURE All material submitted must be has the remarkable capacity to people owned the stars and
accompanied by self-addressed
FOR YOUR INFORMATION 79
stamped envelopes. The pub- think like a scientist and write divided them share-and-share-
by Willy Ley lisher assumes no responsibility
for unsolicited material. All
like a poet. What interests him alike, each man, woman and child

DEPARTMENTS
stories printed in this magazine
are fiction, and any similarity
he can manage to translate so as would possess nearly thirty. We
WAY OUT THERE 5
between characters and actual to evoke interest in the reader; can see, under the best conditions,
persons is coincidental.
GALAXY’S FIVE STAR SHELF 144 and what interests him in The some two or three thousand of
Printed in the U. S. A.

FORECAST _ 194 By The Guinn Co., Inc. N. Y.

Day Alter Doomsday is the in- them with the naked eye; for
Title Reg. U. S. Pat. Off.

Cover by DEMBER, illustrating THE DAY AFTER DOOMSDAY w 5

every star we can see, more than traces might easily have been vicinity of Rigel, indeed, hardly these two bright objects in the
*
twenty million are there but in- buried under the debris of the Ice any of the stars in our sky are same partof the sky makes it easy
visible —by reason of distance, by Age. The UFOlogists haven’t visible at all to the eye. Our own to locate them. There aren’t any
reason of intervening opaque much doubt that we are being sun is at best a telescopic object, bright stars anywhere near them.
clouds of gas or by reason of sheer visited even now, for that mat- and even no longer with-
Sirius is If you look and west,
to the south
numbers, so that they are lost in ter. in the capabilities of the unaided not long after dark, not very high
the general brightness we call the Yet we’re easy enough to over- eye. in the sky, you’llhave no trouble
Milky Way. look. Earth is, after all, only one And yet Rigel is a near neigh- picking them out. The brighter of
With all those nearby com- tiny planet circling one insignifi- bor! the two is Jupiter, hugest of plan-
panions (we haven’t even touched cant sun far out on one of the There’s plenty of room in our ets, monarch of more than a
on the billions of billions in the gassy, pinwheel arms of the gal- galaxy for many races, no doubt dozen moons. The less bright, but
other galaxies, farther away), it axy. Sol an outpost. Were
is itself about it. In all that space, the stillbrighter than any star nearby,
seems a sure bet that we have we in the dense star clusters vainest human peacock can hard- is ringed Saturn, a few degrees to

neighbors in the universe. Almost around the center we might have ly imagine himself to be unique. Jupiter’s west.
certainly many of these stars had visitors every second Sun- So, as Anderson says, we’re Give them a few more months
have planets; we have hope that day afternoon. in all likelihood not alone. We and Saturn will have moved over
at least a few of these planets may The Day After Doomsday are merely out of touch . . . into the next constellation, Capri-
harbor life intelligent life, life
. . . gives us a view of what our galaxy cornus, Jupiter close behind.
of something resembling our own may be like, from the point of /'''LOSER tohome, by the way, Around February they will almost
kind. And even a “few” might view of the races who live in it: this is a good season for seem to touch. Meanwhile the
mean many thousands. countless worlds, more interested planet-watching. faster planets —
Venus and Mars
in their own immediate problems Of the five bright planets — will have skipped through Leo,
A LL in all, the inhabited, civil- than in fruitless wanderings into Saturn is one of the more difficult Virgo, Libra and Scorpius to
ized worlds in our own gal- remote skies. There isn’t any rea- to spot by accident. Hanging in catch up with the slow giants. In
axy may well be numbered in the son why they should exert them- the same part of the sky for years February all four of them will be

thousands or millions. selves to visit Earth, after all. on end, it doesn’t betray its in the same part of the sky. A bril-
So why, one asks at once, And even if we assume them as —
presence as the faster, closer-to- liant spectacle but, unfortun-
. . .

haven’t any of the neighbors
dropped in for a call?
Well, perhaps they have. The
Earth is old, and organized
record-keeping goes back only a
few moments of its long day.
Quite a sizable settlement of
curious as the Polynesians or as the-sun planets do by popping
trade-hungry as a Marco Polo, from constellation to constella-
exploration between stars is a tion. It moves, all right. But it
slow, tedious task. The distances moves slowly.
are not merely linear. It is only For the past three and a half
some six-hundred-odd light-years years Saturn has been in the con-
from here to Rigel; but the vol- stellation Sagittarius. About a
— ately, not for us Earthmen to see.
The trouble is that a still
brighter object will be in the same
point on the ecliptic namely the —
sun itself. It will take a spaceship
to see this particular four-planet
conjunction . . .

Sirians or Arcturans could have
been built on North America be-
tween glaciations, not so very
many thousand years ago. There
wasn’t a human eye on the conti-
nent to see it, and its physical
ume of space a Rigellian would year ago it was joined there by So don’t wait till February. If
have to survey to stand an even Jupiter himself. Slowly as Jupiter you want a good look at, at least,
chance of running into Earth rolls, he still overtakes Saturn; Jupiter and Saturn, your chance
amounts to half a billion cubic Jupiter is catching up and in an- is now.
light-years, encompassing many other few months will pass.
thousands of stars. From the Meanwhile the presence of THE EDITOR

6 GALAXY 7
 ^"”1 K540, the 27th son of two acid. It had been continuously
Orthedrin,maxiton and glutamic
acid — they
were the prescription
very ordinary white lab-
oratory rats, surveyed his
irrigated with blood. One hemi-
sphere had been activated far in
that made him king of his world! world. excess of the other, since previ-
He was no more able than any ous experiments had shown that
other rat to possess articulate increased lack of symmetry be-
speech, or to use his paws as tween the hemispheres produced
hands. All he had was a brain superior mentality. The end-re-
which, relative to its size, was sult was an enormous increase in
superior to any rat’s that had brain-cells both hemispheres.
in
hitherto appeared on Earth. It His brain showed also a marked
was enough. increase in cholinesterase over
In the first week of gestation that of other rats.
his embryo had been removed to SK540, in other words, was a
a more suitable receptacle than super-rat.
the maternal womb, and his The same processes had been
brain had been stimulated with applied to all his brothers and
orthedrin, maxiton and glutamic sisters. Most of them had died.
DEFORO Illustrated by WOOD
Wf*

mgr
s

68 GALAXY OH, RATS! 69

The few who did not, failed to companions — actually, the

show the desired results, or followers — whom he would fashioned furniture;but it was
and near the labora-
they hadn’t taken SK540. Now
to join his midnight solidly built they’ve got to find him, or do
showed them in so lopsided and release
where he worked as a tech- about five years’ work over again,
hegira from the laboratory. Only tory
partial a manner that it was
nician, and they could live rent- without any assurance of as great
necessary to destroy them. the meekest and most subser-
All of this, of course had been vient of the males —
intelligent free until they could sell the a success. To say nothing of let-

mere preparation and experi- but not too intelligent and — house and use the money to buy ting our super-rat loose on the

the most desirable and amiable a real home. world.”

mentation with a view to later “Something funny happened “What on earth could, even a
developments in human subjects. of the females were invited.
the lab last night,” Philip re- super-rat do that would matter
Once free of the cages, SK540 in
What SK540’s gods had not an-
ticipated was that they would had no difficulty in leading his
ported, watching Norah struggle — to human
beings, I mean?”

troop out of the building. The with dinner on massive

the “Nobody knows. Maybe that’s
produce a creature mentally the
laboratory was coal-stove. “Somebody broke in what we’re going to find out.”
superior, not only of his fellow- door of the
but a window was and stole about half our experi-
rats, but also, in some respects, locked,
of themselves. slightly open from the top. Rats
mental animals. And they got our fT HAT
,
night Norah woke sud-
pride and joy.” J denly with a loud scream.
can climb up or down.
He was a but he
super-rat:
was still a rat. His world of Like a silver ribbon they “The famous SK540?” Norah Philip got the gas lighted —
asked. there was no electricity in the
flowed along the dark street,
dreams and aspirations was not
human, but murine. SK540, looking exactly like all
“The same. Actually, it wasn’t old house —
and held her shak-
a break-in. It must have been an ing body in his arms. She found
What would you do if you the rest, at their head. Only one
inside job. The cages were open her breath at last long enough
were a brilliant, moody young person in the deserted streets
seems to have noticed them, and
but there were no signs of break- to sob: “It was a rat! A rat ran
super-rat, caged in a laboratory?
ing and entering. We’re all under right over my face!”
SK540 did it. he did not understand the nature
suspicion till they find out who- “You’re dreaming, darling. It’s
What human beings desired of the phenomenon.
dunit.” because I told you about the
was health, freedom, wealth, love, Norah looked alarmed.
V^OUNG Mr. and Mrs. Philip theft at the lab. There couldn’t
and power. So did SK540. But “You too? What on earth
housekeep- be rats in this place. It’s too
to him health was taken for Vinson started
would anybody want with a lot solidly built, from the basement
granted; freedom was freedom ing in what had once been a
of laboratory rats? They aren’t up.”
from cages, traps, cats, and dogs; mansion. It was now a rundown
worth anything, are they — He finallygot her to sleep
wealth meant shelter from cold eyesore.
financially, I mean?”
Norah again, but he lay awake for a
and rain and plenty to eat; love It had belonged to
“Not a cent. That’s why I’m long time,
listening. Nothing
meant a constant supply of avail- Vinson’s great-aunt Martha, who
sure one of the clean-up kids happened.
able females. had left it to her in her will. The
must have done it. Probably Rats can’t talk, but they can
But power! It was in his long- estate was in litigation, but the
wanted them for pets. They’re communicate. About the time
ing for power that he most re- executor had permitted the Vin-
all tame, of course, not like Norah Vinson dropped off after
vealingly displayed his status as
super-rat.
sons to settle down in the house,
though they weren’t allowed yet
wild rats —
though they can bite her frightened wakening, SK540
like wild rats if they want to. was confronting a culprit. The
Therefore, once he had to sell it. It had no modern con-
Some of the ones missing are culprit was one of the liberated
learned how to open his cage, veniences, and was full of rooms
treated, and some are controls. males. His beady eyes tried to
he was carefully selective of the they couldn’t use and heavy old-
It would just be a nuisance if gaze into the implacable ones of

70 GALAXY OH, RATS! 71

 Then I gave up and ran right, Norah, I give in. You take
SK540, but his tail twitched a pound left of that cheese, but hear.
our bedroom and slammed the the poker and I’ll take the ham-
nervously and if he bared his that’s gone too.” in
door on them, but they left mer, and we’ll search this house
teeth it was more in terror than “Good Lord, Norah, if you’ve
much marketing guards outside. I heard them from cellar to attic.”
They all knew that strict
in fight. got that to do,
orders had been given not to dis- can’tyou do it yourself?” squeaking till you drove up, then “You won’t find them,” said

turb the humans in the house “Sure, if you leave the car. I’m I heard them run away.”
Norah bitterly. “SK540’s too
Philip stared at her, scared to smart. They’ll stay inside the
until SK540 had all his prepara- not going to walk all that way
death. His wife had lost her walls and keep quiet.”
tions made. and back.”
“Then we’ll find the holes they
A little more of that silent So of course Philip did do the mind.
“Now, now, sweetheart,” he went through and rout them out.”
communication, and the rat who shopping the next day. Besides,
had run over Nor ah’s face knew Norah had just remembered she said soothingly, “let’s get this They didn’t, of course. There
he had only two choices - have— had a date at the hairdresser’s. straight. They fired a lab boy wasn’t a sign of a rathole, or of

his throat slit or get out. He got. today. They found four of our a rat.

WW7HEN he got home her hair rats in his home. He told some They got through dinner and
“What do you know?” Philip
” idiotic story of having ‘found’ the evening somehow. Norah put
said that evening. “One of our was stilluncurled and she
them, with the others missing, all the food not in cans inside
rats came back.” was in One of the
hysterics.
running loose on the street that the old-fashioned icebox which
“By itself?” many amenities great-aunt
night, but of course he stole them. took the place of a refrigerator.
“Yeah. I never heard of such Martha’s house lacked was a
He must have sold the rest of Philip thought he was too dis-
a thing. It was one of the ex- telephone; anyway, Norah
them to other kids; they’re work- turbed to be able to sleep, but
perimental ones, so it was couldn’t have been coherent over
ing on that now.” he did, and Norah, exhausted,
smarter than most, though not one. She cast herself, shuddering
Norah blew her nose and was asleep as soon as her head
such an awful lot. I never heard and crying, into Philip’s arms,
wiped her eyes. She had regained touched the pillow.
of a rat with homing instinct and it was a long time before he
her usual calm. His last doubt of his wife’s
before. But when we opened up got her soothed enough for her
“Philip Vinson,” she said cold- sanity vanished when, the next
this morning, there he was, sitting to gasp: “Philip! They wouldn’t
ly, “are you accusing me of lying, morning, they found the icebox
in his cage, ready for breakfast.” let me out!”
or just of being crazy? I’m door open and half the food
“Speaking of breakfast, I “They? Who? What do you
neither. I saw and heard those gone.
thought I asked you to buy a mean?”
big box of oatmeal on your way “The —
the rats! The white rats. They’re here now. What’s
more, I guess I know where that UnHHAT settles it!” Philip
home yesterday. It’s about the rats.They- made a ring around
oatmeal went, and the eggs and announced. “Come on,
only thing in the way of cereal me at the front door so I couldn’t
bacon too, and the cheese. I’m Norah, put your coat on. You’re
I can manage on that old stove.” open it. I ran to the back and
“I did buy it. Don’t you re- they beat me there and did the
— I’m a hostage! coming with me to the lab and
“I don’t suppose,” she added we’ll report what’s happened.
member? I left it in the kitchen.” same thing. I even tried the
sarcastically, your SK540
“that They’ll those creatures if
find
“Well, it wasn’t there this windows but it was no use. And
morning. All I know is that their teeth — they all — I guess
was one of the ones they found
in the boy’s home?”
they have to tear the house apart
to do it. That boy must have
you’re going to have nothing but I went to pieces. I started throw-
“No, it wasn’t,” he acknowl- been telling the truth.”
toast and coffee tomorrow. We ing things at them and they just
edged uneasily. A nasty little icy “You couldn’t keep me away,”
seem to be out of eggs, too. And dodged. I yelled for help but
trickle stole down his spine. “All Norah responded. “I’ll never
bacon. And I thought we had half there’s nobody near enough to

72 GALAXY OH, RATS! 73

spend another minute alone in Norah reminded him,
“Philip,”
this house while those dreadful “ifyou don’t go to work, they
things are in it.” know we haven’t a phone, and
But of course when they got somebody will be here pretty
to the front door, there they soon to find out if anything’s
were, circling them, their teeth wrong.”
bared. The same with the back But that wouldn’t help, Philip
door and all the first floor reflected gloomily; they’d let

windows. anyone in, and keep him there.

“That’s SK540 all right, lead- And he
thought to himself, and
ing them,” Philip whispered was careful not to say it aloud:
through clenched jaws. He could rats are rats. Even if they are
smash them all, he supposed, in 25th generation laboratory-born.
time, with what weapons he had. When the other food was gone
But he worked in the laboratory. there would be human meat.
He knew their value to science, He did not want to look at
especially SK540’s. them any more. He took Norah’s
Rats couldn’t talk, he knew, arm and turned away into their
and they couldn’t understand hu- bedroom.
man speech. Nevertheless, some They stayed there all day, too
kind of communication might upset to think of eating, talking
establish itself. SK540’s eyes and talking to no conclusion. As
were too intelligent not to be- dusk came on they did not light
lieve that he was getting the gist the gas. Exhausted, they lay
of talk directed to him. down on the bed without un-
“This is utterly ridiculous,” dressing.
Philip grated. “If you won’t let After a while there was a quiet
us out, how can we keep bringing scratching at the door.
food into the house for you? “Don’t let them in!” Norah
We’ll all starve, you and we whispered. Her teeth were chat-
together.” tering.
He could have sworn SK540 “I must, dear,” he whispered
was considering. But he guessed back. “It isn’t ‘them,’ I’m sure of
the answer. Let either
implicit it — it’s just SK540 himself. I’ve
one of them out, now they knew been expecting him. We’ve got
the rats were there, and men to reach some kind of under-
from the laboratory would come standing.”
quickly and overwhelm and “With a rat?”
carry off the besiegers. It was a “With a super-rat. We have no
true impasse. choice.”

74 GALAXY
 Philip was right. SK540 alone 64TTE — he just wants to be r downstairs. He was back in a pantry. But behind it they could
stood there and sidled in as the free,” she said in a
few minutes. hear squeaks and rustlings.
door closed solidly again behind choked whisper. “It was Kelly, all right,” he SK540 scratched delicately at
him. “You mean you’re not afraid “I said you were almost invisible cracks. A section
told her. sick
How could one communicate of him any more?”
and I couldn’t leave you to of the wall, two by four inches,
with a rat? Philip could think of “You said yourself he couldn’t phone. I said I’d be there tomor- fell out on the floor.
no way except to pick him up, intimidate us without his army.”
row. Now what?” “So that’s where some of the
place him where they were face Philip thought a minute. Then SK540’s white oatmeal
whiskers went,” Norah com-
to face,and talk. he said slowly: emerged from under the pillow, mented. “Made into paste.”
“Are your —
followers out- “Iwonder if we had the right and he jumped over to the table “Sh!”
side?” he asked. to do this to him in the first again. Norah’s cheeks were pink. SK540 vanished through the
A rodent’s face can have no place. He would have been an ‘When it came to the point, I hole. They waited, listening to
expression, but Philip caught a ordinary laboratory rat, mindless she
couldn’t,” explained incomprehensible
just sounds. Out-
glance of contempt in the beady and contented; we’ve made him shamefacedly. “I suddenly real- side it had grown dark.
eyes. The slaves were doubtless into a neurotic alien in his
ized that he’s a person. I couldn’t
bedded down in their hideaway, world.”
not responsible, dar-
let him be taken back to prison.”
fT HEN
,
the leader emerged and
with strict orders to stay there “You’re “Aren’t you frightened any stood to one side of the
and keep quiet. ling; you’re a technician, not a
more?” long line that pattered through
“You know,” Philip Vinson biochemist.” ‘Not of him.” She faced the the hole. The two humans stared,
went on, “I could kill you, very “I share the responsibility. We super-rat squarely. “Look,” she fascinated, as the line made
easily.” The words would mean all do.”
said, “if we take care of you, will back door and
straight for the
nothing toSK540; the tone “So what? The
remains
fact
you get rid of that gang of yours, under it. SK540 stayed where
might. He watched the beady that it was done, and here he is
so we can be free too?”
eyes; there was nothing in them — and here we are.” “That’s nonsense, Norah,”
he was.
‘Will they go back to the
but intelligent attention, no The doorbell rang.
“He
Philip objected. can’t pos- lab?” Norah asked.
flicker of fear. and Norah exchanged
Philip
siblyunderstand you.” Philip shrugged.
“Or I could tie you up and glances. SK540 watched them.
“Dogs and cats learn to under- “It doesn’t matter. Some of
take you to the laboratory and “It’s probably Kelly, from the
stand enough, and he’s smarter them may ... I feel like a
let them decide whether to keep lab,” Philip said, “trying to find
than any dog or cat that ever traitor.”
you or kill you. We
are all much out why I wasn’t there today. It’s
lived.” “I don’t. I one of
feel like
bigger and stronger than you. just about quitting time, and he “But — ”
those people who hid escaped
Without your army you can’t in- lives nearest us.”
The words froze on his lips. war prisoners in Europe.”
timidate us.” Norah astonished him. She
SK540 had jumped to the floor When the rats were all gone,
There was, of course, no picked up SK540 from the bed-
and run to the door. There he they turned to SK540. But with-
answer. But SK540 did a start- side table where Philip had
stood and looked back at them, out a glance at them he re-
ling and touching thing. He placed him, and hid him under his tail twitching. entered the hiding-place. In a
reached out one front paw, as if her pillow. “He wants us to follow him,” minute he returned, herding two
in appeal. “Get rid of whoever it is,” she Norah murmured. white rats before him. He stood
Norah caught her breath in said defensively. Philip stared for
There was no sign of a hole still, obviously expectant
astonishment. an instant, then walked briskly the back wall of the disused
in Philip squatted on his heels.

76 GALAXY OH, RATS! 77

He picked up the two refugees As if called, SK540 appeared.
and looked them over. Had he been listening? Had
“Both females,” he announced he understood? Neither of them
briefly. “And both pregnant.” dared to voice the question aloud
“Is he the father?” in his presence.
“Who else? He’d see to that.” “Later,” Philip murmured.
“And will they inherit his — “We must eat,” said Norah.
his — ” “Let’s see what’s left in the way
“His ‘super-ratism’? That’s the of food.”
whole point. That’s the object of
the entire experiment. They were PWERYTHING tasted flat;

going to try it soon.” they weren’t very hungry

The three white rats had after all. There was enough left for
scarcely moved. The two over to feed the three rats. But
they had evidently helped them-
mothers-to-be had apparently
fallen asleep. Only SK540 stood selves earlier; they left the scraps your
quietly eying the humans. When untasted.
they left him to find a place
where they could talk in private
Neither of the humans guessed
what else had vanished from the
information
he did not follow them. pantry shelves —
what, when he
comes down to this,” Philip
“It had heard enough, SK540 had
said at the end of half an hour’s slipped away and sprinkled on
fruitless discussion. ‘We prom- the remaining contents of the ice- BY WILLY LEY
ised him, or as good as. He be- box, wherever the white powder
DRAGONS AND HOT-AIR BALLOONS
lieved us and trusted us. would not show.
“But if we keep to our promise They did not know until it HIS

T
section owes
we’re really traitors — to the was too late —
until both of tence to a letter I recently
its exis-

human race.” them lay writhing in their last came across while sorting
“You mean, if the offspring spasms on their bedroom floor. out old papers. It came to me
should inherit his brain-power, By the time the house was from China fourteen years ago
they might overrun us all?” broken into and their bodies (and a date stamp shows that I
“Not might. Would.” found, SK540 and his two wives answered The
“So —”
were far away, and safe. . .
US
it then.)
bears the notation “check Konrad
letter also

“So it’s an insoluble problem, And this, children, is the true BA Kyeser,” but because of a move
on our terms. We have to think account, handed down by tradi- BALI
from Washington, D. C., to New
of this as a war, and of them as tion from the days of our great Jersey which took place soon
our enemies. What is our word Founder, of how the human race after I never got around to that
of honor to a rat?” ceased to exist and we took over until now.
“But to a super-rat — to the world.
. . .

The was written by a

SK540 — — MIRIAM ALLEN DEFORD
letter

FOR YOUR INFORMATION 79

78 GALAXY
Russian by the name of G. Lari- was sick or when they wished to missionaries —
were involved, but was quite smoky by throwing wet
kov. By way of introduction he send a message to their dead an- that the idea of the hot-air bal- straw into it.

told me that he was a graduate of cestors. We have found later that loon probably traveled the other In spite of all their mistakes it

the Imperial Russian Artillery this custom, like all Chinese cus- way. So that the “thousand-year- worked.
School and that he fled Russia toms, is very old, dating back not old” custom would perhaps date They knew — or found out for
and made his
after the revolution hundreds but thousands of years back to around the year 1800. the purpose—
that the sphere was
home There he became
in China. and so well forgotten in other, the body combining largest vol-
Y
employee of the Chinese
a civilian
Ordnance Department during the
less remote, parts of China that
even very few Chinese ever heard M ment
reasons for passing judg-
like that
at a
were the fol-
time when noth-
ume with smallest surface. They
learned that smoke was not indis-
pensable. And on June 5, 1783,
Second World War. After this of it.” lowing: If,

introduction G. Larikov pro-
ceeded to the reason for writing
his letter:
“During my stay in Szechwan
Province during the first half of
the recent war,” he wrote, “I lived
for several years in a deep valley,
something like your canyons,
where our arsenal was located for
against Japanese
protection
bombers. Soon after our arrival
in that valley the guards started
to send reports that from time
to time mysterious lights ap-
peared floating far above our
arsenal. Our men were greatly
alarmed and immediately decided
Considering that mountainous
Szechwan is a remote place,
where one would hardly expect
the farmers to construct hot-air
ballons of the Montgolfier type
as a pastime, the anxiety of the
guards and the surprise of their
superiors both become under-
standable.
But the fact is that the farmers
did. And that raises the inevitable
question ofhow they learned it
and from whom. (That the cus-
tom is “thousands of years old”
a statement that can safely be
disregarded. The Chinese were in
the habit of claiming every one of
ing in Europe took to the air but
birds and insects, hot-air balloons
from China had become known
via a returning missionary, that
fact would have been written up
at great length.Nor would their
Chinese origin have been con-
cealed in any way. Just at that
time Europeans were very much
interested in things Chinese.
the other hand, the Montgolfiers’
hot-airpaper balloons did cause
an enormous stir and everything
is
connected with them was written
down by somebody. Because of
thatwe know precisely how the
came about.
invention
they made their first public dem-
onstration, with an unmanned
paper balloon about 35 feet in
diameter.
One year later the first hydro-
gen balloon was built, though not
by the Montgolfiers.
How quickly the news got
around is shown by the fact that
On on December 27, 1783, Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe wrote to a
friend about the attempts of the
Court Apothecary Buchholz in
Weimar “to master the art of
Montgolfier.” One on still see the
smile on his face when reading
his description. “Buchholz tor-

that it was some kind of Japanese their institutions to be thousands The brothers Montgolfier tures the air but without success.
deviltry. I tried to reassure them of years old.) My correspondent (Jacques Etien and Joseph) be- The spheres refuse to rise. One of
all, did not
that those lights, after did not try to answer that ques- gan by wondering what kept the them hastily rose to the ceiling,
cause us any harm. But they also tion,but said that possibly “in clouds up. And they saw, of but only once.” Interestingly
reported the story to the local former .years, some missionaries course, that smoke from a chim- Goethe continued that he “had
brought the idea of hot-air bal- ney rose and formed “clouds,” too.
Chinese police and insisted on a resolved to progress slowly, and
thorough investigation. At long loons from China to Europe, Was smoke powerful enough to hope to be the first to chase an
last it was found that the farmers where it was adapted by the carry something up with it? Well, enormous paper ball into the air.”
mountains brothers Montgolfier for their sometimes you could see a half- History does not know any-
who lived in the
around our valley had the custom flying experiments.” burned piece of paper rising. So thing about a hot-air balloon
of sending into the night air paper I probably answered at the they first built a kind of inverted built and launched by Goethe.
balloons with small oil lamps at- time that I felt sure that mission- paper bag to catch the smoke, Either somebody succeeded be-
tached to them when somebody aries —more specifically French and they saw to it that the fire fore him in his area, or else he

80 GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 81

was simply too busy to bother. not have a job. While waiting for of August, 1405. Several manu- the Bellifortis (it never was
What is even more interesting one to come along he went to the scripts are known. The one from printed), came to the conclusion
is a sketch for an article (dated University library, asking the which this picture of the dragon that these dragon standards had
April 11, 1821) which he in- librarian for books on the history standard is copied is considered been early hot-air balloons. Pos-
tended to write but never did. Its of inventions. Finding these books to be the original. It isnot, the sibly— no, very likely —
the arti-
theme was that he was very lucky most inadequate he resolved to bibliographical experts believe, in sans who made them knew noth-
to have lived through the second write better books himself. And Konrad’s handwriting; but it is ing about the lifting capacity of
half of the 18th century and to did.) called “the original” because it hot air, Feldhaus said, but as soon
have seen how such a large num- But Feldhaus (I don’t know was written down under Konrad’s as they started using these de-
ber of inventions and discoveries justwhat kind of engineering was supervision. vices during the night and had to
was made. He then listed the dis- his specialty)had one weak spot: Of course, the Latin text calls put lamps into them to make
coveries and inventions. After the aviation in any form or shape. In the standard draco volans (flying them visible they must have
word “Balloons” he wrote, “How a book which he wrote in 1907 he dragon) and tells that the head noticed that the dragon standards
close I was to making this discov- stillmaintained stoutly that air- is made of parchment, the body no longer needed to be lifted but
ery. Some misgivings that I didn’t planes were a very unlikely in- of linen and the tail of silk, each had to be tethered instead ... as
do it myself. But consoled myself vention. If they could be built at of a different color. The purpose can clearly be seen in the picture.
soon.” Nobody knows just what all they would have no practical of the gay monster was twofold. When I read this for the first
he meant by these words. Pos- value as a means of transporta- It was to signal to your allies time I thought “how interesting.”
sibly, as a young man, he had also tion but would be the aerial where you were, and it also was It did not occur to me to make a
watched smoke rising and had equivalent of a racing yacht. Heli- to frighten the enemy (who, like calculation.
wondered whether it might carry copters, the same book says, were enemies at any place and any But if you do, you realize very
something. a senseless project. And as late as time, was supposed to be not only quickly that a little calculating is

1929 space travel was just a fan- evil but also somewhat stupid). what Feldhaus should have done
IVTOW for my long delayed re- tastic dream to F. M. Feldhaus. At night a lamp was to illuminate
' solve to “check Konrad Kye- Well it was Feldhaus who it from within. Konrad Kyeser
ser.” pointed his finger at a device wrote that this lamp should have
When read Mr. Larikov’s let-
I which he said employed Mont- a wick soaked in Oleum benedic-
ter suggesting that the Mont- golfier’s principle long before tum. The latter was his term for
golfier brothers were not the ori- Montgolfier. This device was the “kerosene” and it seems as if he
ginal inventors of the hot-air so-called Dragon Standard (see wasn’t too sure just what that
balloon. I remembered that some- figure), which must have existed was.
body else had said the same thing. around the year 1400. No such
This somebody else had been a dragon standard has been pre- TT'ONRAD KYESER also
Swiss engineer by the name of served anywhere, for reasons added that one could use a
Franz Marie Feldhaus, who later which will become apparent very rocket for illumination and said
became famous as a historian of soon. that this rocket should be put in
technology. (When I met him We know about them through the dragon’s tail.

about thirty years ago he told me a book called Bellitortis, written Feldhaus, after examining the
how this had come about. In prin- by Konrad Kyeser von Eichstaedt picture and a few similar ones
ciple it was quite simple. He did and finished during the last week from later hand-written copies of Dragon Standard of 1400 A.D.

82 GALAXY FOR YOUR INFORMATION 83

before he proclaimed the dragon
standards to be the forerunners
of the hot-air balloon. Unlike the
sphere, this dragon shape
litle volume and lots of surface.
And because of its shape
cannot it
be a simple cloth bag, it needs
reinforcements in various places.
In short, the amount of buoyancy
which hot air could produce
would be far less than the weight
of the standard.
What it really is is a so-called
fish kite.
But if it were a kite shouldn’t
it be shown trailing the rider?
Yes, it should be. The reason why
it doesn’t is probably that the
artist wanted a nice composition
on the manuscript page. It is also
possible that the artist had never
seen one of these kite standards
demonstrated. And it is just as
possible that the artist was
careless. Paintings of sailing ships
with the sails billowing one way
and the flags streaming the other
are no rarity.
one of these kite standards
If
had been preserved we could see
with our own eyes that it was a
kite and not a hot-air balloon. But
none has been preserved, I sus-
pect because of the wick soaked
in Oleum benedictum. They prob-
ably all burned up in action.
THE ORIGIN OF FLIGHT
This is going to be about a fos-
84
has
Preliminary Reconstruction of the
North Bergen Fossil.
just The North Bergen Fossil
(Courtesy: American Museum of
Natural History.)
sil, and should wait until the
I lege of the discoverer or of the
formal scientific description has
been published before I write
about it. But the case is not only
unique but so surprising in many
respects that I prefer telling an
incomplete story to waiting.
The fossil in question is from
the black shale of an abandoned
quarry in North Bergen in New
Jersey. That black shale is rather
reliably dated as being 175 mil-
lion years old, which means it was
GALAXY
formed during the latter part of
the Triassic period. The area then
was a large freshwater lake, well
populated with small coelacanth
fishes. Among more or less well
preserved coelacanth fossils three
young men in the upper teens,
Alfred Siefker, Joe Geiler and
Mike Bandrowski, found a fossil
71/2 inch lizard-like reptile, which
they later handed over to Dr.
Edwin H. Colbert, head of the
Department of Vertebrate Pale-
ontology of the American Muse-
um of Natural History.
Itturned out to be the earliest
known “flying reptile.” Since the
scientific description isn’t out yet
I don’t know what its name will
be. Following normal scientific
usage the name could be Pam-
protopteryx, but there are a few
drawbacks to that name, aside
from the layman’s customary
complaint that it would be hard
to pronounce. In the first place,
naming a new genus is the privi-
man who produces the first scien-
tific description. In the second
place the name is slightly wrong.
The Greek root words would
mean “first of all to fly” but the
root word for the last part of the
name pteron means “wing” or
“fin” and can be stretched to
mean “paddle.” At any event, it
implies something active. But the
reptile from North Bergen did not
fly actively.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
It did not have wings. It had
what is best called a parachute;
and for very good reasons there is
neither a classical Greek nor a
classical Latin word for para-
chute.
The it did not have
fact that
wings the big surprise. A winged
is
reptile from the late Triassic
period would have been a novelty
but it would have been quite logi-
cal. The two periods which fol-
lowed after the Triassic were the
Jurassic and the Cretaceous peri-
ods,and we know winged reptiles
from both of htem. In fact, we
know two types, a short-tailed
version, the pterodactyls, and a
long-tailed version, Rhampho-
—
rhynchus the latter known so
far only from the upper (which
means more recent) Jurassic of
Bavaria. The short-tailed ptero-
dactyls are known to have lived
from the very early part of the
Jurassic period until the end of
the Cretaceous period, when they
became extinct.
Flying Reptile Pterodactylus
from the Jurassic of Bavaria
85
 Since even the earliest Jurassic fossil shows the same arrange-
pterosaurs (to use the all-inclu- ment, but with fourteen rib exten-
sive term for the extinct winged sions. Its “parachute” is larger
reptiles) are rather definite types, than that of Draco volans; the rib
it is obvious that there must have extensions are five inches long on
been earlier forms. These earlier either side. The living Draco
forerunners of the Jurassic types ans has been observed to cover
are to be sought in Triassic rocks. distances up to twenty yards. One
mists call the fourth finger and
which women refer to as the “ring
finger.” (The bat’s wing, to get rid
0 f a possible misunderstanding, is
vol- stretched by all four fingers, with
the thumb forming a free hook.)
As for the ancestry of the ptero-
I wish I could tell now what
forms led to the living Draco
volans but this is, unfortunately,
not known. The living form de-
cidedly belongs to the lizards
which did not become important
until fairly recent geological

They couldn’t be anywhere else. observer swore that it can avoid saurs, we know that they sprang times, namely the Tertiary. But
Hence the discovery of early Tri- obstacles while gliding. When it from a group of usually fairly Draco volans is now an isolated
reaches the tree trunk where it small reptiles, probably largely form. It has no near living rela-
assic pterosaurs, though it hasn’t
wants to land it lowers its tail tree-dwelling, which bear the tives and no fossil ancestors are
happened yet, is something to be
held stretched out while gliding scientific name of Pseudosuchia. known.
expected.
But the fossil I misnamed and seems to throw its head back, There is not much sense in trans-
Pamprotopteryx above resembles obviously getting the “parachute” lating a label like this, but one THE BIGGEST GUNS
in construction something which surface into a braking position. might refer to them as the pseudo-
has been in the books, as a living As a glider, the performance of crocodiles. I did not get many good ques-
reptile, for around 200 years. It the North Bergen reptile must During the period preceding tions this month, but one which
is a tree lizard from Java and ad- have been at least as good as that the Triassic,namely the Permian, came from a reader in Salt Lake

jacent islands with an overall of the living Draco volans. they had come from an older City will probably use up what
length of about 8 inches, of which As the pictures show, there can group of reptiles which had split space I have left.
the slender tail accounts for 5 be no direct connection between into two groups. The pseudosu- The gentleman made a trip to

inches. Carolus Linnaeus named the Triassic parachute reptile chians are one of these two. The Russia last year and, like all tour-

it Draco volans (I can’t seem to from North Bergen and the ptero- other group is labelled parasu- istswho come to Moscow, he was
saurs of the Jurassic. The latter chians and there isn’t much to be taken to Red Square and shown
get away from “flying dragons”
in this column!) and zoological had developed a real wing, a skin told about them. But the pseudo- the “Czar Pushka.” ( pushka is
handbooks state that there are stretched by one enormously suchians had gone on to glory. just the Russian word for “can-
about 35 different species of elongated finger —the one anato- From them sprang the pterosaurs,
the dinosaurs, the crocodilians
non.”) During the return trip an-
other passenger told him that one
them. Nobody is too specific
and even the birds. of the Sultans had an even bigger
about the number of species.
Some of them may be mistakes It would be most interesting if cannon built. The question is,
it turns out that the North Bergen simply, about the dimensions of
because the coloration of the in-
fossil is a pseudosuchian too. If so, the Czar Pushka and whether
cidentally very beautiful “flying
this group would have invented there have been bigger guns.
dragon” varies considerably from
one specimen to the next.
flying three times, once in a glid- The dimensions of the highly
Now Draco volans has a “para- ing form constructed like the liv- ornamented bronze pushka are:

chute” spread on each side of its

ing Draco volans (as far as the length of barrel 22.2 feet, caliber

body by a number of “false ribs” gliding mechanism is concerned), 45 V4 weight of barrel

inches,

— six of them, in the most com- One of the Species of

once in the shape of the ptero-
saurs and finally in the form of
4310 pounds. Apparently the
piece was considered more a work
mon species. The North Bergen “flying dragon”.
the birds. of art from the outset, for it was
86 GALAXY
FOR YOUR INFORMATION 87
literally never fired (Voltaire
made a crack about it, saying that
the two outstanding items of the
Kremlin are a bell which was
never rung and a cannon which
was never fired) and has been on
public display since the year it
was cast, which was 1586.
The other big gun which was
mentioned by the fellow passen-
ger of my reader was probably
the Mohammed II, built for that
Sultan by a man called “Urban
the Hungarian” in about 1460. It
weighed about 2100 pounds and
its bore was 31 inches. The barrel
was 21.5 feet long.
It was in every dimension a bit
smaller than the Russian piece,
but, to make up for was fired.
it, it
As Gibbon tells the story in Chap-
ter LXVTII of his Decline and
Fall of the Roman Empire: “The
stone bullet weighed about six
hundred pounds. A guns, and
vacant place
before the new palace was chosen
for the first experiment; but, to
prevent the sudden and mischiev-
ous effects of astonishment and
fear, a proclamation was issued
that the cannon would be dis-
charged the ensuing day. The ex-
plosion was felt or heard in a cir-
cuit of a hundred furlongs. The
ball, by the force of the gunpow-
der, was driven above a mile; and
on the spot where it fell it buried
itself a fathom deep in the
ground. For the conveyance of
this destructive engine, a frame or
88
carriage of thirty wagons was
linked together and drawn along
by a team of sixty oxen. Two hun-
dred men on both sides were
tioned to poise and support the
rolling weight;two hundred and
fifty workmen marched before to
smooth the way and repair the
bridges; and near two months
were employed in a laborious
journey of one hundred and fifty
miles.”
It is likely that the gun did go
into action, but it cannot be
proved. The contemporary writ-
ers were careless or ill-informed.
They confused several big guns
used at the time, and even Mr.
Gibbon did not succeed in disen-
tangling their chaotic accounts.
The next big gun was
Itwas a siege mortar designed by
a Mr. Robert Mallet. The bore
of these mortars (two were built)
was 36 inches. The barrel length
was eighty inches above a 48.5
inch long conical powder cham-
ber, with an average diameter of
The projectiles were
16 inches.
cast iron balls 35.6 inches in dia-
meter which came in
weights: 2550 and 2990
2365,
pounds. They had room for a
bursting charge weighing 480
pounds.
One of the two mortars was
never test-fired. The other fired a
number of rounds during the fall
and winter of 1857. The two mor-
tars were meant to be used in the
GALAXY
Crimean war but never
England.
Two guns which really
large
saw action both are German, one
sta-
for each of the two World Wars.
The “big gun” of the first World
War was the “Paris Gun”
(by the German press)
called
“Kaiser Wilhelm Gun” and mis-
called (by the French press) “Big
Bertha.”
the
Its caliber, as official desig-
nation states, was 222 millimeters
(8.74 inches.) The length of the
barrel was 110 feet; the shell
weighed 260 pounds; the range
was 80 miles. The gun itself
weighed 154 tons and the cradle
26 tons. The barrel stood only
about 60 rounds. Using up a total
British. gun fired a total
of six barrels, the
of 367 rounds, all into Paris.
For the second World War the
Germans rebuilt one of
in was assigned
1941 it
to Battery 701. But even official
German sources do not know
whether it was used. A German
gunnery expert who tried to find
out received the answer, “Since
the Army had the piece they
three
probably fired it. But there are no
records.”
But the “big gun” of the Second
World War was the one called
“Dora.” Its caliber was 800 milli-
meters (31.5 inches.) The length
of the barrel was 106.6 feet, the
weight 1485 tons (short tons of
2000 lbs. each) and the range 29
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
left miles.The shell was 4V£ calibers
long, weighed 7.8 (short) tons
and required a propelling charge
of 4400 lbs. It could fire three
times per hour.
To build the firing position for
— also Dora took 4000 men and five
weeks. Firing the gun required
only 500 men.
Dora pulverized the fortifica-
tions of Sevastopol and was then
brought to Leningrad (needing
three trains just for the gun), but
did not see action again. By then
the German High Command had
come to the conclusion that Dora
was too big. Two other guns of the
same type that had been built
were not even sent to the front
lines. —WILLY LEY
BACK NUMBERS • OUT OF PRINT
BOOKS
Complete Sets for Sale
Amazing Quarterly: 1928-1934; 23
issues in all including the only an-
these nual; condition good to very good:
$50.00
Amazing Monthly: April 1926 (Vol.
1 No. 1) to April 1934 complete;
very good to fine except 1st issue:
$200.00
Science Wonder, Wonder, Thrilling
Wonder: June 1929 (Vol. 1 No. 1)
to March 1934 complete, very good
to fine: $85.00
Same, through to April 1941 $145.00
:
Quarterlies for same, 14 issues 1929-
1933, very good to fine: $25.00
Astounding: 292 issues, March 1934
through December 1958, condition
good: $250.00
Galaxy: Complete from Vol. 1 No. 1
October 1950 through 1960: $50.00
All orders promptly shipped F.O.B.
Brooklyn. Many other fine items.
Send your want
list.
J'YS CORNER
Specialist in Stf
for a Quarter Century
6401 24th Avenue Brooklyn 4,
New York
89
 Interstellar trouble-shooting
By JOY LEACHE Illustrated by GAUGHAN
is the easiest work there is.

All you need is brains, energy

— and a steno with nice legs!

NDREW
A trying
things
wasn’t working out.
tional
to
at

message (delivered by
Stephens
think
once,
An
of
and
was
two

inspira-
it
Andy Stephens

four feet
stared at the
farthest corner of his office (about
from nose) and
his
sighed. He didn’t have a slogan
in his body, let alone on (or off)
A laudable
thought,
desire,

matter, having nothing to

Andy
but strictly a political
do with
Planetary Promotions, or Andrew
Stephens.
fice Co-ordinator told him. “A
stenographer will meet you on the
ship.”
“Thank
said meekly.
you, Miss Ellis,”
He stuffed the dope
Andy

Crumbly, president of Planetary the top of his head. However, it also seemed that sheet into his jacket and left the
Promotions, Inc.) was mixing it- His assignment was an easy a planet had to demonstrate that Main Office for Felix II.
self up in his mind with the one, Crumbly had assured him. it would be contributing some-
probable difficulties of his first Planetary Promotions always thing to the Federation before it ii'E’XCUSE me,” said a femi-
company assignment. started new men off with easy was allowed to join. In other nine voice. “Are you with
He hoped
he was thinking, and ones. Only fair. words, Andy thought, you have Planetary Promotions?”
not worrying. Crumbly said worry Andy squared his narrowish to have something they want, or Andy looked up. A sandy-
was fatal in the promotion shoulders in as close an imitation they won’t let you in. haired girl with a passable figure
business. It was fervor, not fret, of Crumbly’s desk-side manner as A buzzer squawked out of the and nice legs was looking down
Crumbly said, that had made he could, and picked up the dope dun-colored box on his desk. at him. “Yes,” he said. “I’m Andy
Planetary Promotions, Inc., what sheet. Andy jumped, and flipped the Stephens.”
it was today. And it was work, It seemed there was a planet, lever. The girllooked relieved. “I’m
not worry, that would make it Felix II, somewhere near the “The busto the port will be Edith Featherpenny from the
what it was destined to be to- edge of nowhere. It wanted to at the door in seven minutes,” steno pool,” she said. “I was afraid
morrow. join the Galactic Federation. the grim voice of the Lower Of- I wouldn’t be able to find you.”

90 GALAXY SATISFACTION GUARANTEED 91

 “Sit down,” Andy invited. to land on the planet except by
He moved, and Miss Feather- invitation.”
“They have strong taboo
a Miss Featherpenny giggled

might be against eating,” Andy

explained. softly in surprise. “He looks like
penny moved. Between them, “It isolation, I sup-
they unsettled a large woman eat- pose,” Andy doubted. He felt an “They swallow concentrates to a leprechaun,” she said. “The

ing an orange. When the juice
had been mopped up and the
woman apologized to, Miss
urge to confide in Miss Feather-
penny. She did, after all, look as
if there might be something be-
jjeep alive, but it’s still not quite sheet didn’t say that.”
Recent. On Mahridge, it’s the din- “Tourist trade,” Andy breathed,
jn g
room, not the bathroom, that his eyes gleaming with the solu-

Featherpenny squeezed in beside
Andy.
on the
“Is that the information
case?” She indicated the dope
sheet crumpled under Andy’s
arm.
“Yes.” Andy tried to
out.“Were you issued one?” He
moved his elbow and tried again.
The orange woman
him.
Miss Featherpenny shook her
head. “Miss Ellis told me you’d
tell me everything I needed to
know.”
Andy felt obscurely flattered.
“It doesn’t look too promising,”
he admitted.
Miss Featherpenny glanced at
the dope sheet and found a ray
of hope. “The Federation only
requires that the Felician exports
sides fluff in her head. has a door with a lock on it for tion of his problem.
privacy. Since the two-foot-tall welcom-
“Look,” he said. “This is my
“Is he married?” asked Miss ing committee showed no signs
first assignment, on my fourth
Featherpenny, who didn’t intend of moving, they started toward
job, on my second career. I’ve got
t0 be a
steno all her life. “I him.
to make
good. My
father is begin-
ning to get impatient.” mean,” she added quickly, “his “My name,” Andy said in
wife would get anxious about his Galactic, “is Andrew Stephens.
pull it Miss Featherpenny’s eyes grew
selling something like that, that I’m here from Planetary Promo-
softer.“Fathers are usually more
could get him put in prison, or tions.”
patient than their children think,”
glared at she encouraged.
killed.How did he do it?” “I know,” the Felician mutter-
There was a certain coolness ed ungraciously. “I came out from
“But,” Andy added morosely,
“I have a brother, a salesman
in Andy’s voice. “He took a lead town to meet you. name isMy
from the dope peddlers. He con- Blahrog. Who’s this?”
with Universal Products. He
keeps getting promoted, and I
verted the adolescent Mahrid- “My steno, Miss Featherpen-
gians first. It’s all right to eat on ny.”
keep getting fired. Dad must be
Mahridge now.” “Urk.” Obviously Blahrog had
conscious of the contrast.”
Miss Featherpenny diplomat- never heard the term “steno” and
“Maybe,” Miss Featherpenny
ized. “I don’t think that’s ethical. was interpreting it freely. “I’m
suggested, “your brother’s been
Convincing people to do what in charge of our admission to the
lucky. You know, being assigned
they thinkis wrong.” Federation. That means I’m in
jobs that were easier than they
Andy was still suspicious. He charge of you.” He eyed Andy
sound.”
said, “Ethical or not, he got the unenthusiastically. “You haven’t
Andy glanced at her to see if

he was being humored. He

promotion.” had much experience with this
are nearly as valuable as their
kind of thing, have you?”
imports,” she pointed out. decided he was not, or not much.
“ 'T'HEY stood at the edge of the Andy had a wild rush of hope.
‘Nearly’is a nice vague, maneu- “I’ve tried to believe that,” he
only launching pad on Felix If the Felician government re-
verable word.” admitted. “Unfortunately, Lloyd
II, and surveyed the landscape. jected him as a representative,
“But,” said Andy, “if the Feli- keeps proving me wrong. He got
promotion Thirty feet away, there was a he could go home without a fail-
cians can’t think of anything to his last for selling
fancy food products to the Mah- bamsized stone building with a ure on his record, and pray for a
how do they expect me to?”
sell,
weedy roof. Aside from some simpler assignment. Even P. P.
“Maybe they’re too isolated to ridgians.”
rounded blue hills in the distance, didn’t consider an agent respon-
know what’s in demand,” Miss Miss Featherpenny had ob-
and a Felician leaning against sible for the unpredictable whims
Featherpenny comforted him. viously never even heard of Mah-
the building, there was not much of aliens.
“It says they won’t authorize ships ridge.
to detain the eye. “No, I haven’t,” he replied

92 GALAXY
SATISFACTION GUARANT E E D 93
 was translating, “we cannot ing with men had not extended
was hoping maybe
cheerfully. “I Andy choke. “Tastes ro g
think of a single product which to Felician males. Blahrog fright-
you had.” like cider,”he gasped.
we could sell. Have you any im- ened her with a feeling of supe-
Miss Featherpenny, who hadn’t Blahrog downed his without a
mediate suggestions?” rior and incomprehensible intel-
read the contract, gasped. wink. “It’s customary to give a
Blahrog’s expression indicated ligence.
Blahrog, who had read the con- guest a mug of Throatduster as a
sign of gratitude because he that he ought to say something, Hrom, although seventeen
tract, replied, “I haven’t. Let’s
hut Andy couldn’t think of a inches tall and weighing perhaps
get on into town where we can walked so far in the dust.”
thing, except that he didn’t need eleven pounds, was definitely
discuss the possibilities in com- “In this dust,” Miss Feather
penny murmured to her second a ny more Throatduster. “No,” he feminine and comprehensible.
fort.”
said firmly, if faintly. “Thank you “Why don’t women drink
They set out, walking un- glass of water, “any distance is
very much, but no.” He passed Throatduster?” Miss Feather-
equally through the thick white far.”
“Thoughtful custom,” Andy out cold. penny asked, on the strength of
dust that passed for paving on
“I’m afraid the journey was a two-hour acquaintance.
Felix II. said quickly. “Could you export
too much for him,” Miss Feather- “The men grow the grain here,”
“Don’t you use ground cars?” the beverage?”
“Sell Throatduster?” Blahrog
penny put in. Hrom explained, “and it’s theirs
Miss Featherpenny choked at the
“Ah, yes,” Blahrog translated as long as it’s in the fields. How-
end of the first half-mile. was indignant. “It would be a
for the Everking. “Throatduster ever, we
consider harvesting
“Don’t have technology,” Blah- breach of hospitality. Besides,
has that effect on some life forms. women’s work. We also make the
rog growled, stumping grimly Felix II can’t produce enough
Perhaps he had better retire, and Throatduster. Then we sell it to
along. “The Everking has a car, second-rate stuff, let alone first-
discuss the situation more fully the men. We don’t drink because
but he doesn’t use it much. No rate. Sometimes, in a bad year,
tomorrow.” it is uneconomical.”
fuel.” we have to greet guests with
The Everking motioned to a “Does everyone grow his own
As he walked, Andy composed water.”
of
pair stout-looking guards grain?”
a speech on the merits the of “What a pity,” said Miss Fea-
therpenny.
(thirty inches tall, at least). They “Not any more. Town women
tourist business, to be delivered
towed Miss Featherpenny’s im- have other sources of dress
to the Everking.
mediate superior out of the royal money. The custom started that
Miss Featherpenny grew visi- CHE became increasingly un-
bly more depressed with each ^ sympathetic as Andy swal-
presence.
“They will show him to his
way, that’s all.”
“If you’ll forgive my saying so,”
mile. She uttered an involuntary lowed another Throatduster at
room,” Blahrog explained. Miss Featherpenny remarked,
cry when the guard of the city the door of the Palace (a one-
The Everking let loose a quick “that dressyou are wearing must
gate appeared with a slender story building similar to a small
stream of Felician. have taken a big chunk out of
mug in each hand. barn), and yet another in the
“Would you,” Blahrog ad- your pocket.”
“Felician ladies don’t drink,” presence of the Everking (an
Felician with
dressed Miss Featherpenny, “en- Hrom sighed. “In my mother’s
Blahrog said gruffly. eighteen-inch a
joy meeting my daughter? The time, I would have thought
“I can fetch you a glass of beard-warmed paunch). Everking suggests it, since our nothing of it. Now, one such
water,” the guard offered, without Andy watched the Everking affairs could hardly be of interest gown is all I can afford.”
enthusiasm. dim and blur on his wooden to you.” would have thought your
“I
“Thank you,” said Miss Fea- throne. Swaying slightly, he
“I’d very pleased.” The
be fatherwas one of the wealthier
therpenny, with an attempt at {fluttered, “I wonder what proof
words were not empty ones. Edith men on Felix II,” Miss Feather-
sincerity. this stuff is?”
Featherpenny’s education in cop- penny remarked.
The contents of his mug made “In short, Mr. Stephens,” Blah-

GALAXY SATISFACTION GUARANTEED 95

94
 “He is the wealthiest,” Hrom rationalized, when the wealthiest'
“The richest man is always
said. girl on the planet has only one '

Minister of Finance.only It’s dress. This is probably their last

reasonable.” Her tone
changed. chance.
“We’re all poor now, since the Andy tried to conceal his head-
tourist industry failed. It took ache by being brisk and efficient
every dnot we had to pay for the “Have you considered your
contract.” natural resources?”
Invisible antennae shot from Blahrog, slow and shrewdly
Miss Featherpenny’s forehead. inefficient, said, “We mine soft

“You must be quite sure that coal. Enough for our own fires and
Planetary Promotions won’t fail to spare.”
you.” She tried her best to sound “No one within a hundred
casual. light-years of Felix II uses coal
Hrom smiled faintly. “Have for fuel anymore,” Andy said
another of these seed cakes,” she gently. “Do you have enough for

said. the plastic industries?”

“Thank you. They are deli- “We have four freighters sur-

cious.” Miss Featherpenny took plus every season.” Blahrog was

one, regardless of calories. “Of evidently banking heavily on the
course, there is the guarantee coal.
clause: ‘Double your money Andy wondered if coal were
” surpluson Felix II.
back.’ the only
Hrom busily fluffed a cushion. “What are you doing with your
“One must have some insurance,” surplus at present?” he inquired
she said, having her turn at tactfully, hoping that Elahrog
sounding casual. “Tell me, are would realize, without being told,

they wearing large or small hats the impossibility of supporting

on Earth this season?” the population of Felix II on four
Miss Featherpenny conceded freighters of soft coal.
defeat. “It’s all bonnets for sum- “We store it up,” was the
mer,” she said. crafty answer, “and sell it to the
synthetics plants on Darius IV
TTER impulse was to tell
first when the Ionian miners go on
Andy she thought the
that strike.”
Felicians had bought the guar- “How long since the Ionians
antee clause, not the contract. It struck?” If this economic event
died at her first sight of the occurred regularly, the coal sur-
morning-after Andy. The situa- plus could assist in meeting the
tion must be pretty desperate, she Federation’s requirements.

96 GALAXY
 “Twenty seasons or so.” Blah- “No,” the Everking shouted, i n
rog’s tone was off-handed, but his Galactic. teddy bears,” Miss Feather- “We make good shoes,” Blah-
b jed
-

eyes slid guiltily toward Andy “We tried that during the last penny said thoughtfully. “Every- rog said hopefully. “The tourists
and away again. Blahrog body loved them on sight.”
reign,” said. “It didn’t used to buy lots of them.”
Andy sighed. “Any other re- work.” “What happened to them?” “Hum,” Andy cogitated. “Here
sources?” “You’re pretty far off the ship, Blahrog asked with interest. we have something for which a
They went quickly through ping lanes, I’ll admit,” Andy said, “They became extinct.” market already exists. If we can
minerals, agricultural products “but surely you could attract expand the market and the pro-
and animal skins; established that enough tourists from somewhere NDY glared at her. How could duction He
Felicians could not teleport, levi-
tate or read minds. They were
to show a profit.”
“We showed a profit,” Blahrog
A he accomplish anything with
facilities
Blahrog with a
. .

finger,
.”

in
nailed
con-
a stupid steno butting in? She scious imitation Crumbly. of
technologically uneducated, and said morosely. looked away, guilty. “How many pairs of shoes can
had no industry on the factory- He translated a remark of the “It’s such a simple solution,” he Felix II produce in a single
system level. Everking’s. “We made money said. “It fits your situation per- season?”
“It is coal or nothing, Mr. hand over fist.” fectly.” “If the reserves were called in
Stephens,” Blahrog said with “Then why did you quit?” “That’s what we thought, until to the Cobbler’s, Guild, it would
finality. “Isn’t there some way to Andy was baffled. “Why did you we tried it,” Blahrog said, grin- be almost half the manpower of
make the Federation believe that restrict the planet?” ning sidelong at Miss Feather- the planet .” Blahrog paused,
. .

our coal is superior to other coal, “Because of the way we happen penny. doing mental arithmetic. “Four
and worth more?” to look.” you won’t try tourists,”
“If and a half million pairs, more or
“Do
you, perchance, own a size- “Like leprechauns,” Miss Fea- Andy snapped at both of them, less.” He sounded as though he
able proportion of Felician coal therpenny explained. “And Hrom “I don’t see exactly what you can were surprised.
reserves?” looks exactly like a little Christ- do.” “That ought to do it,” Andy
Blahrog nodded, guilty looking mas fairy.” “Maybe you didn’t cover every- said gleefully.
again. Blahrog winced. “The tourists thing in the special abilities list,” “But where will we find that
“Well, forget it. There isn’t found us amusing. We weren’t Miss Featherpenny suggested many pairs of feet?” Blahrog
enough.” real to them. It became difficult softly. asked.
for us to seem real to ourselves. Andy glared at her again. “All “There are eight million times
'T'HE Everking, who had been Most of my generation couldn’t right, Blahrog. Can you think of that many pairs of feet in the
holding Andy’s translator to grow up. The birth rate dropped. anything you can do that most Federation,” Andy said. “Leave
his ear in silence, burst into We closed the planet to keep the other species can’t?” the advertising to Planetary Pro-
speech. race alive. That’s all there is to Blahrog looked at the floor and motions.”
“His Foreverness says,” Blahrog it.” considered.“We can walk a long “It seems sort of poetic,” Miss
remarked cannily, “that it appears “Surely,” Andy protested, “if way without getting tired,” he Featherpenny romanced. “Lepre-
impossible for Felix II to join the you handled it differently . .
.” offered. chauns are supposed to be cob-
Federation.” “Tourists,” Blahrog translated Andy sighed, and wrote “En- blers.”
“We through yet,” Andy
aren’t for the Everking, “are out of the durance?” on his scratch pad. It Blahrog snorted.
said “What about the
quickly. question.” was scarcely saleable. “Is there Andy turned and addressed her
tourist industry? If you’d allow “I remember hearing about an anything else? Anything you from the full distance between a
.”
visitors and advertise a little . . intelligent life form that resem- know how to make? Besides promoter third class and a girl
Throatduster.” from the steno pool. “Miss Fea-
98 GALAXY
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED 99
therpenny, I will ask for your members dusted off their lasts 1
gifts from a grateful and admir- Featherpenny,” he said. “Per-
opinion when I want it.” and aprons and got back into 1
ing populace. haps she can help you.”
Miss Featherpenny answered practice. For the first time in
The reply to the message was “Miss Featherpenny.
from her side of the gulf. “Yes, nearly thirty seasons, the applica- Bah,”
signed by Crumbly himself. “For- Andy snorted. “What good would
sir.” tions for apprenticeship were too
lorn hope,” it said unsympathet- she be? Dumb steno.” He tried to
Andy always despised
had numerous to handle. New life
ically. “Try something else. Com- be fair. “Nice legs, I admit. But
rank-pullers. He
turned to Blah- showed on their faces.
puter indicates ad intensity of
The Master Cobblers (includ- no brains.”
rog. “I’ll have to send the dope
0.94.”
“I’ll go get Miss Featherpenny,”
back to the Home Office so they ing the Everking and Blahrog)
An ad intensity of 0.0001
can put it through the computer worked around the clock, fab- Blahrog repeated firmly, closing
means you sell someone some- the door behind him
and send me the ad-intensity ricating plastic lasts. Miss Fea- . . .

thing he wants anyway. An in- “What frame of mind is he in?”

index.” therpenny and Hrom dug pic-
tensity of 1.0 means you have to
Blahrog looked a polite en- tures and descriptions of the Miss Featherpenny looked un-
make the consumer love some- certainly at the heavy door to
quiry. various types of Galactic feet that
thing he thinks he hates.
“That will tell us how effective habitually or occasionally wore Andy’s store room.
“Drunk,” Blahrog informed her
the ad campaign will have to be shoes out of old periodicals, lo- A NDY sent a young Felician on coldly.
to make a go of this. What’s the cated by members of the newly-
‘•-the run for Blahrog, and re- It takes an enormous quantity
fastest way to send a message to organized ladies’ auxiliary.
tired to the storeroom of Blah- of Throatduster to intoxicate a
Earth?” Felix II was humming, if not
rog’s dwelling, which housed two Felician. Intoxication is therefore
“Radiogram the satellite sta- absolutely singing, with industry
fair-sized plastic barrels of
Blahrog answered. “They’ll and good humor. Some of it considered bad form.
tion,”
Throatduster.
relay it to the next ship within rubbed off on Andy. He relented “And belligerent,” the Minister
“But you have to Blahrog
try,” of Finance added.
range, and the ship will relay it to toward Miss Featherpenny to the insisted, finishing his second mug “Oh, dear.” Miss Featherpenny
the next planet it nears with the extent of presenting her with a
of hospitality.
send to pair of Felician shoes, fabricated
looked at the door again. “But
radiogram facilities to it
“Snow good,” Andy said, deep
Earth.” by the Everking. They were of what can I do?” she asked in a
into his fifth. “Even Gray Flan-
helpless voice. “I’m not a pro-
“How long will it take to get the sensible walking variety, and nel,ad man in legend, only got moter.”
an answer?” Andy asked. not Miss Featherpenny’s style. to 0.87.Simpossible.”
“About twelve days.” Nevertheless, she was extremely “He said,” Blahrog indicated
Blahrog, who knew little about the door, “that you were a dumb
pleased with the gift. Like all advertising or computers, re- steno.”
r ''HEY didn’t stare at the sky Felician shoes, they fit her per-
| peated, “You must try. No mem- “Well!” Hrom exclaimed.
while they waited for the fectly.
ber of the Cobbler’s Guild has Miss Featherpenny’s hackles
answer. The Everking, backed by his
ever quit without trying.”
Blahrog called the members of Debators and ministers, issued invisibly rose. Her mouth visibly
Andy had been accepted as an tightened. She turned
the Cobbler’s Guild together, and public thanks to one Andrew away from
apprentice of the Guild the night
Stephens, restorer of hope, and the door.
delivered a series of lectures on before.
their importance to the future of propagator of economic equality. Hrom said, “You ought to try
“Dunno,” he said. “Tell you to show him.”
Felix II. The ladies’ auxiliary gave a tea simpossible.”
Miss Featherpenny’s honor. Miss Featherpenny looked at
Foreseeing a return to political in
Blahrog climbed off the barrel them, and at the surrounding
and economic power, the reserve They were both showered with of Throatduster. “I’ll go get Miss examples of Felician landscape
100 GALAXY SATISFACTION
GUAR ANTE ED 101
 “Yes,” Miss Featherpenny lied, all developedsevere cases of
and architecture. crazy.”He opened his eyes. “But ghe had it in her head, but not on beard-itch, a Felician nervous
“Mr. Blahrog,” she said sud- you do have nice legs.” the steno pad. disorder.Since it is even more
“Felix II is sort of quaint,” Miss “Then get somebody to send it unseemly to scratch on Felix II
denly, “you don’t mind looking
Featherpenny suggested. “Why so we can find out if it’s good
like a leprechaun, do you? As off than it is on Earth, they retired
not use an old ad?” And come back soori.”
long as you don’t have to meet enough. temporarily from public life.
“An idea,” Andy enunciated, jje wobbled on his elbow. “You Andy also retired from public
people?” .”
Blahrog’s silence was more without hope. do have . .
life, biting his fingernails, an
“It’s sort of pretty too,” Miss think I’d better attend to
“I Earther nervous disorder. Blahrog
than dignified.
“What do you mean?” Hrom Featherpenny nudged. sending it personally.” Miss Fea- joined him in the illness, which
“We could use a color picture therpenny opened the door. “You was new to Felicians. By the time
asked.
we used of Andy
said, kicking thought- you feel better.”
rest until the answer from Planetary Pro-
“You wouldn’t mind if it,”

fully at an overturned stool. Blahrog had gone, but Hrom motions came it was the most
a picture of a Master Cobbler
would you?” “The Felicians are quaint look- was waiting for her. She looked fashionable habit on the planet,
in the ad,
more like a Christmas fairy than
Blahrog thawed abruptly. “You ing, too.” in spite of the fact that Felicians
“Sure,” Andy said. “Put a Feli- usual. A mischievous one. have extremely tough nails, and
have an idea?”
cian in the foreground, cobbling.” “Did you manage?” she whis- a pair of bony ridges rather than
“If you don’t mind the pic-

ture.”
He tried to sit up. pered. true teeth.
Hrom said, “I’ve seen ads like that in his- “Barely.” Miss Featherpenny The second message was also
“He doesn’t mind,”
adding in Felician, “After all, tory books,” Miss Featherpenny looked grim. directfrom Crumbly. It read:
Papa, we don’t have to let any said, exuding admiration. “Drink this,” Hrom ordered, “Computer rates ad campaign at
“It’s so old it’s new,” Andy said, holding out a mug of Throat- intensity 0.942. P. P.
ships but the freighters land.” in action
“Go ahead, then,” Blahrog con- lying down again. “Old English duster. by the time you receive this.
lettering over the top. A rea Miss Featherpenny was sur- Stephens ordered back to Home
sented.
Hrom added. cliche.” He considered Miss Fea- prised. “I thought ladies didn’t Office; promoted to first class.”
“Good luck,”
therpenny’s ankle. “Peaceful scen- drink on Felix II.” Four Earth months later, Miss
Andy welcomed her. ery, Felician shoes?” “There are,” Hrom said, “ex- Featherpenny entered Andy’s ten
A “Bah.” He shut his eyes. “Not quite,” said Miss Feather- ceptions.” by twelve office, her high heels
penny.
Most of him was sprawled out on clicking on the plastic tiles, and
“Quiet field, Felician shoes?” fT^HE next twelve days of wait- laid a memorandum on the new
the floor.
“Nope,” said Miss Feather- ing for computer results were steel desk.
“Yes, me,” Miss Featherpenny
penny. not as hopefully active as the “They’ve been admitted,” she
agreed, repressing an inclination
“You’re an aggravating wom- first twelve. The Felicians finished announced.
to kick him. She sat down on one
an,” Andy said sweetly, but you setting up their manufacturing ‘What? Who?” Andy
of the kegs, and opened her steno- said ir-
do have nice legs.” and storing systems, but they ritably. There were times when
grapher’s book. “I came to take
down the ad for the shoes, she “What about Elysian fields?” didn’t start making shoes. The he thought her position as his
announced. Miss Featherpenny suggested. cattle drovers forbore to slaughter private secretary had gone to her
“What ad?” Andy moaned. Andy tasted it. “Elysian fields, the beasts who provided the head.
biggest, brightest Felician shoes.” He tried to sit up leather. “Felix II has been admitted to
“The newest,
again. “You got all that down?” The Everking and
ads can’t get over an 0.62. How
his Debaters the Federation. The contract has
can I manage an 0.94? You’re he demanded.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED 103
102
GALAX
been fulfilled.” She smiled In an hour and a half she had
"Until I got that answer this Everking,” Blahrog said. “Come
brightly. “Shall I mark the file the answer. The Felicians hadn’t
morning.” on to the car.”
closed?” changed the styles, and their shoes
"It sounds like typical Felician “Car?” Miss Featherpenny ex-
“Can’t yet,” Andy said. “Felix didn’t wear out. Everybody had
thinking,” Andy said. “There’s no claimed. “The Everking’s?”
II won’t be a permanent member a pair.
sense trying to argue by mail.” “No, mine.” Blahrog couldn’t
of the Federation until they’ve She considered the door again.
He sighed. “You’d better reserve keep the pride out of his voice.
been self-surporting for ten There was really little sense in
a first-class passage for me on the “There are nearly two hundred
years.” disturbing Andy over such a
first ship out.” cars on Felix II.”
“Why?” asked Miss Feather- simple matter. She forged his
“Can’t I go?” Miss Feather- Andy went over the same
penny. name on a message to Blahrog.
penny asked. ground in the presence of the
“It’s a precautionary measure,” “Change the styles of your shoes.”
“Who’d run the office?” Everking. It didn’t help. The
Andy began to explain. “Oh, let’s She then picked up some care-
‘The stenos can stack stuff Everking, his minister and his
go get some lunch and forget fully selected problem sheets
until we get back.” Miss Fea- Debators were solidly against
Felix II.” from the top of the filing cabinet,
therpenny looked wistful. “I was changing the shoes. The ethics of
“Yes, Mr. Stephens,” Miss Fea- and went through the impressive
in on the beginning of it. I want the Cobblers’ Guild were in-
therpenny said meekly. door.
to see it through. Besides, I’d like volved.
He followed her out the door, The next morning, Blahrog’s
see Hrom again.”
to “If you won’t follow Planetary
admiring the effect of her glastic answer was on her desk. “Oh, all right,” Andy agreed. Promotions’ advice,” he said at
skirt. She did have nice legs “Felician shoes are of the cut
. . .
“Make it two first class.” last, “the company can’t be re-
most suited to the feet that wear
sponsible for the outcome.” He
T'HREE
f years later, Edith Fea- them. To change them would be QLAHROG was waiting on the glared at the assembly. “In other
therpenny was forced to re- both foolish and unethical.”
long porch of the space port words, the guarantee clause is
member Felix II. There was a It was a good thing, Miss Fea-
dining room. cancelled.”
communication on her mock- therpenny thought, that Andy
“Have a nice trip?” he asked. There was an indignant and
baroque desk. Felician shoes was feeling better today. She
“What’s all this about not concerned buzz from the au-
Felix II wasn’t went into his office, padding
weren’t selling. changing the shoe styles?” Andy dience. Blahrog got up.
making enough money. The softly over the carpet to his con-
countered. “Your Foreverness,” he said,
Galactic Federation was threaten- temporary prestwood desk.
“As I told you in the mes- “honorable members of the
ing to take steps. “Good morning, Edie,” Andy Blahrog said impatiently,
sage,” government, Mr. Stephens. Three
She glanced at the impressive “What happened?
said cheerfully.
“We make our shoes in the best Earth years ago, Felix II gath-
door 'to the inner office. Andy, Lightning strike you?”
possible shapes for the feet that ered together all the money the
she knew, was engaged in reading “Practically,” Miss Feather-
will wear them. There isn’t any government could find, and
a letter from his brother Lloyd, penny said. “It’s Felix II again.” good reason to change them.” bought a contract with Planetary
who had just been promoted to She handed over the sheaf of “You can’t sell people two pairs Promotions.” He paused and
vice-president of Universal Prod- papers.
of identical shoes,” Andy insisted. shuffled his feet. “We did not
“Why didn’t you tell me about
ucts. “You might be able to sell expect the contract to be fulfilled.
She judiciously forged his ini- this yesterday?” Andy muttered,
reading them.
them if you changed them,” Miss We needed money, and two for
tials on an order to put data on Featherpenny added, sounding one would keep us going while we
the Felix II failure through the “I thought I could handle it.”
reasonable. attempted to educate the young
computer. Miss Featherpenny made a face.
“Save your arguments for the to be immune to the tourists. Of

GALAXY SATISFACTION
104 GUARANTEED 105
 cause I was on your Ow!” ' face. “I’ve hardly been out of the
if Planetary Promotions “Mrs. Klagom
. . .
course, is a silly
found a way for us to be self- She clapped a hand hastily to her I house since the baby was born. woman,” Blahrog disapproved.
leave him with my husband’s
surporting without tourists, we jaw. “She would do better to leave
I’ll

would be equally pleased.” “What’s wrong?” Hrom asked, mother and go with you.” him with me.”
alarmed. “I’d be glad of the company,”
“I thought so,” Miss Feather- “If you must, I suppose you
“Broke a tooth,” Miss Feather- Miss Featherpenny admitted. must,” Andy admitted
penny murmured. grudgingly.
“Why penny muttered, her face con- “Good. I’ll find out what time “Where
“Really,” Andy said. are you going now?”
the ship leaves, and Mother
didn’t you let me in on it?” torted. tell “Back to Hrom’s house to lie
“Does it hurt much?” Hrom’s Klagom about the treat she’s got down.”
Blahrog cleared his throat to
question was part sympathy and coming. You go tell Mr. Stephens “Tell her
indicate that he wasn’t through. I’ll mind the baby,”
part curiosity. and then come back here for the Blahrog called after her.
“Since a way was found,” he con-
tinued, “Felician self respect and Miss Featherpenny nodded. night.” As she closed the door, she
have to find a dentist right Miss Featherpenny heard them heard Andy
content has increased along with “I’ll say, “Gentlemen, if
shouting before she opened the
Felician prosperity.” He glanced away.” you’ll supply the Throatduster,
“What’s a dentist?” council chamber door.
uneasily at Andy. “We would like I’ll give it a try.”
“Man who fixes your teeth.” “I suggest,” Andy was saying,
to continue as we are going.”
“But we don’t have teeth,” “that you either change the styles £6TT’S
“Unless you change the styles,”
go back to the tourist business.”
awfully quiet,” Hrom
Hrom said. or
Andy said flatly, “that is impossi- said doubtfully, looking
“I forgot,” Miss Featherpenny She pushed the door open. around at the Felician spaceport.
ble.”
moaned. “Oh, Lord, I guess I’ll “Mr. Stephens,” Blahrog said
“Look at the tannery chimneys.
have to go all the way back to
Mthe
ISS Featherpenny, realizing
that they were starting over
same ground, slipped out the
Earth.”
Hrom shook her head. “There
mildly, “the last time calamity
was upon us, you solved the
problem by drinking Throat-
No smoke.”
Miss Featherpenny, her mouth
in good repair, glanced into the
are a lot of Earthers living on duster until you got an idea. May bar as they passed it. “Only two
door and walked over to visit
Hrom. Darius IV. They must have a I suggest that
you try again?” shippers,” she said. “There are
dentist. There’s a ship every “Andy,” Miss Featherpenny
“So Papa admitted it,” Hrom usually dozens.”
morning.” whispered.
said, after Featherpenny
Miss “They must have stopped pro-
“Fine,” Miss Featherpenny “Well?” he snapped.
had admired the baby, and been duction entirely,” Hrom said.
I broke a tooth. I’m going
shown over the house. “I almost gasped. “Maybe Andy thought of some-
over to Darius IV tomorrow, with '
“Can I get you something for
told you myself, when I first met thing.”
the pain? Would an aspirtran Hrom, have it fixed.”
to
you.” “I wonder if Papa brought the
me help?” “Why Darius IV?” Andy de- down
“You told me enough to let
manded. “What’s the matter with
car for us.”
Miss Feather- “I’d better have two. Thanks.” He hadn’t. They walked
guess the rest,” into
“Here. Take the bottle with Felician dentists?”
penny said. town.
you.” Hrom was frowning wor- “What’s Hrom going to do with Blahrog was
“Have some olgan seed cakes,” in conference with
Hrom offered. “Why didn’t you riedly. “My, Fm glad we don’t boy?” Blahrog demanded. the Everking.
have teeth.” “Hrom’s leaving the baby with “I’d better
tell Mr. Stephens?”
Miss Featherpenny took a “I’ll have to tell Andy —Mr. Mrs. Klagom,” Miss Feather-
Featherpenny
wait for him,” Miss
said. “I want to
cake. “Partly because of his Stephens — that I’m leaving.” penny answered, “and there find out what’s going on before
Inspiration dawned on Hrom’s aren’t any Felician dentists.” I talk to Andy.”
almighty attitude, and partly be-

106
GALAXY SATISFACTION GUARANTE E D 107
 “Like those shoes,” Andy most of our working population
“I’d rescue
better Mother ment. Extremely powerful, and “
agreed. ‘Best possible shapes willbe living off-planet.”
Klagom from the baby.” quite precise.”
he imitated Blahrog.
“Oh?” Andy straightened
already,’” “Maybe you could work out a
Blahrog was as long-winded as in
“They’re one of the smallest
usual. the old arm chair. “I’ve been
rotation system, Papa.” Hrom
intelligent species,” Miss Feather- had sneaked into the council
“Where Mr. Stephens?” Miss
is trying to think. And drinking.
penny said in desperation. “And chamber.
Featherpenny demanded, as soon Throatduster isn’t working this
their manual dexterity rating is ‘Wait a minute,” Andy said
as she saw him coming down the time.”He paused to reconsider.
one of the highest. Why, a Feli- uneasily.“How are you going to
hall. “Except that it makes me drunk.
cian could get both hands inside educate these dentists?”
“In his old store-room,” Blahrog Everything keeps getting fuzzy,
an Earther’s mouth.” Blahrog stopped and thought.
said moodily. “He’s quite drunk, and my head is wider than my “And steal his fillings . .
.”
“We’ll use the hotels for schools,”
I believe, but he doesn’t seem to shoulders.”
Andy started. ‘Wait a minute. he said slowly. His face wrinkled
be getting any ideas.” “The dentist said,” Miss Fea-
You’ve given me an idea.” with sly pleasure. “And we can
“Then why did you stop cob- therpenny persisted, “that he
Miss Featherpenny breathed sell the coal surplus to pay teach-
bling?” could pull a whale’s tooth as easily
relief. “I have? What is it?” ers and buy equipment.”
Blahrog did a Felician shrug. and smoothly as he pulled mine.” “Dentists! They can all be den-
“You had to have it pulled? The Everking made a wicked-
‘We’re waiting to see what hap- tists.” sounding comment in Felician.
pens. There’s no sense making Too bad.” Andy made a face at
“All?”
the full mug of Throatduster on
The entire assembly burst into
shoes any more if they aren’t ‘Well, enough of them to pro- loud, beard-wagging laughter.
wanted.” the barrel beside him. “The Feli- It
vide for the planet’s income.” had a nasty ring to it.
“I have to talk to him,” Miss cians won’t change their minds
‘Why, that’s marvelous,” Miss ‘What did he say?” Andy de-
Featherpenny said. about the shoes, and they won’t
Featherpenny said.
won’t “It manded.
“Do you have an idea?” try tourists again. I can’t think of
matter that other species think “He said,” Hrom giggled, “‘Let
“No,” Miss Featherpenny lied. anything else. And they can claim
they’re cute. Everybody takes them try to treat us like stuffed
“But you’d let him drink himself the guarantee. I was bluffing.”
dentists seriously.” toys now.’ ”
to death, if he didn’t think of “I know,” Miss Featherpenny
“Their appearance will work “Disgusting,”
anything.” said.She tried again. “The dentist said Miss Fea-
for them,” Andy said. “Think of therpenny.
“You want a lift in the car?” claims even the tiniest species
children’s dentistry.”
Blahrog asked, uninsulted. could do dental work on the “Indecent, Edie,” Andy agreed.
“Let’s go tell them right away,” “But never mind.
“I’d be pleased, if you don’t biggest species.” She paused, Let’s go home
Miss Featherpenny said, feeling and get married.”
mind. I just walked in from the hoping it would sink in. “Provid- like a Bobbsey twin. “You’re a
ing the tiny species had sufficient little sudden.”
port.” Andy swayed upward.
dexterity.”
Andy grinned. “I’ll have a
“Sit still,” Miss Featherpenny raise coming for this, and I’d like
A NDY was not, as Blahrog had “Blasted Felicians,” Andy mut-
commanded “I’ll bring you some to keep you in the family. I can’t
suggested, very drunk. He tered. “Stubborn little pigs.”
coffee.”
“That’s part of their trouble, I seem to think unless you’re
was only hung over. “Get your
Miss Featherpenny said. around.”
tooth fixed?” he asked cheerlessly. think,”
“Being little, I mean. But it
OLAHROG accepted the sug- “Took you long enough to no-
“Yes.” gestion with Felician phlegm tice,” said Miss Featherpenny. But
“Good dentist?” doesn’t always work against them.
and ministerial greed. “We’ll have she didn’t say out loud.
Miss Featherpenny nodded. When they’re doing delicate it

“He had some entirely new equip- work . .

to change the tax system, since — JOY LEACHE
GALAXY SATISFACTION GUARAN ’
E E D 109
108
 By ALGIS BUDRYS
Illustrated by DICK FRANCIS

OFT AS the voice of a

S mourning dove,
phone sounded
the
at
Sollenar’s desk. Sollenar himself
tele-
Rufus

was standing fifty paces away, his

leonine head cocked, his hands
flat in his hip pockets, watching
the nighted world through the
crystal wall that faced out over
Manhattan Island. The window
was so high that some of what he
saw was dimmed by low cloud
hovering over the rivers. Above
him were stars; below him the
citywas traced out in light and
brimming with light. A falling star
— an interplanetary rocket —
streaked down toward Long
Island Facility like a scratch
across the soot on the doors of
Hell.
Sollenar’s eyes took it in, but
he was watching the total scene,
not any particular part of it. His
eyes were shining.
When he heard the telephone,
he raised his left hand to his lips.
“Yes?” The hand glittered with
utilijem rings; the effect was that
of an attempt at the sort of cop-
per-binding that was once used to
reinforce the ribbing of wooden
warships.
His personal receptionist’s
voice moved from the air near
'hisdesk to the air near his ear.
Seated at the monitor board in

111

her office, wherever in this build-
ing her office was, the reception-
ist told him:
“Mr. Ermine says he has an
appointment.”
“No.” Sollenar dropped his
hand and returned to his pano-
rama. When he had been twenty
years younger —
managing the
modest optical factory that had
provided the support of three
generations of Sollenars
had very much wanted to be able
to stand in a place like this,
feel ashe imagined men felt in
such circumstances. But he felt
unimaginable, now.
To be here was one thing. To
have almost lost the right, and
regained it at the last moment,
Now he knew that
was another.
not only could he be here today
but that tomorrow, and tomorrow,
he could still be here. He had
won. His gamble had given him
EmpaVid —and EmpaVid
give him all.
The city was not merely a prize
set down before his eyes. It was
a dynamic system he had proved
he could manipulate. He and the
city were one. It buoyed and sus-
tained him; it supported him, here
in the air, with stars above and
light-thickened mist below.
The telephone mourned: “Mr.
Ermine states he has a firm ap-
pointment.”
“I’ve never heard of him.” And
the left hand’s utilijems fell from
112
r
hand shrank into a cone. The con- “Please sit down,”
Sollenar’s Tips again. He enjoyed Sollenar
necting door closed. The girl dis- said.“What may I do for you?”
such toys. He raised his right appeared. The music stopped. “At the moment, Mr. Sollenar,
hand, sheathed in insubstantial “All right. You can tell Mr. Er- I’m doing something for you.”
midnight-blue silk in which the mine to come up.” Sollenar went Sollenar sat back in his chair.
silver threads of metallic wiring to sit behind his desk. “Are you? Are you, now?” He
ran subtly toward the fingertips.
frowned at Ermine. “When I be-
He raised the hand, and touched rpHE door chimed. Sol-
office
music began
came a party to the By-Laws
two fingers together:
l en ar crooked a finger of his
to play behind and before him. left hand, and the door opened.
passed at the ’98 Dinner, I
thought a Special Public Rela-
He made contact between anoth-
With another gesture, he kindled tions Office would make a valu-
er combination of finger circuits, the overhead lights near the door
— he and a soft, feminine laugh came and sat in shadow as Ermine
able asset
Consequently,
to
I
the organization.
voted for
it, and
from the terrace at the other side came in. for the powers was given. But
it
and of the room, where connecting Ermine was dressed in rust- I never expected to have any
doors had opened. He moved colored garments. His figure was personal dealings with barely
toward it. One layer of translu- spare, and his hands were empty.
it. I
remembered you people had carte
cent drapery remained across the His face was round and soft, with blanche with any IAB member.”
doorway, billowing lightly in the long dark sideburns. His scalp “Well, of course, it’s been a
breeze from the terrace. Through was bald. He stood just inside while since ’98,” Ermine said. “I
it, he saw the taboret with its Sollenar’s office and said: “I imagine some legends have grown
candle lit; the iced wine in the
stand beside it; the two fragile
would like some light to see you
by, Mr. Sollenar.”
up around us. Industry gossip —
that sort of thing.”
chairs; Bess Allardyce, slender
Sollenar crooked his little “Yes.”
and regal, waiting in one of them
— all these, through the misty
finger.
The overhead lights came to
“But we don’t restrict our-
would curtain, like either the beginning soft light all over the office.The
selves to an enforcement function,
Mr. Sollenar. You haven’t broken
or the end of a dream. crystal wallbecame a mirror, with any By-Laws, to our knowledge.”
“Mr. Ermine reminds you the only the strongest city lights glim-
appointment was made for him at “Or mine. But nobody feels
mering through it. “I only wanted one hundred per cent secure. Not
the Annual Business Dinner of
to see you first,” said Sollenar; under these circumstances.” Nor
the International Association of
“I thought perhaps we’d met be- did Sollenar yet relax his face
Broadcasters, in 1998.” fore.”
into its magnificent smile. “I’m
Sollenar completed his latest
“No,” Ermine walking
said, sure you’ve found that out.”
step, then stopped. He frowned
across the office. “It’s not likely “I have a somewhat less ambi-
down at his left hand. “Is Mr. you’ve ever seen me.” He took a tious older brother who’s with the
Ermine with the IAB’s Special card case out of his pocket and Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Public Relations Office?” showed Sollenar proper identifi-
“Yes,” the voice said after a
When I embarked on my own
cation. “I’m not a very forward career,he told me I could expect
pause.
person.”
The fingers of Sollenar’s right
everyone in the world to react
GALAXY WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 113
like a criminal, yes,” Ermine said, purchases an EV unit.” It pleased
'

public places within the area from making effective defenses

paying no attention to Sollenar’s Sollenar to spell out the nature of served by that station, normal TV against patent infringement by
involuntary blink. “It’s one of the his prize. outlets could not possibly com- competitors. Then all of the IAB’s
complicating factors in a profes- “At a very reasonable price. 1
pete for advertising revenue.” membership and much of their

sion like my brother’s, or mine. Quite so, Mr. Sollenar. But you “Yes.” capital will be involved with EV.
But I’m here to advise you, Mr. had several difficulties in finding “And so your last difficulties Much of that capital is already
potential licensees for this system, were resolved a few days ago, in anticipatory motion. So a
Sollenar. Only that.”
“In what matter, Mr. Ermine?” among the networks.” when your EmpaVid Unlimited highly complex structure now
“Well, your corporation recent- Sollenar’s lips pinched out. —
. pardon me; when EmpaVid, a ultimately depends on the integ-
Mr. Ermine raised one finger. subsidiary of the Sollenar Corpo- rity of the Sollenar Corporation.
came into control of the pat-
ly
ents for a new video system. I “First, there was the matter of ration — became a major stock- If Sollenar stock falls in value, not

understand that this in effect acquiring the patents from the holder in the Transworld TV Net- just you but many IAB members

makes your corporation the licen- original inventor, who was also work.” will be greatly embarrassed.
sor for an extremely valuable approached by Cortwright Burr.” Which is another way of saying
sales and entertainment medium. “Yes, he was,” Sollenar said in DON’T understand, Mr. EV must succeed.”
Fantastically valuable.” a completely new voice. -^-Ermine,” Sollenar said. “Why “I know all that! What of it?
“Competition between Mr. are you recounting Are youthis? There’s no risk. I’ve had every
UTj'MPAVID,” Sollenar agreed. Burr and yourself is long-stand- trying to demonstrate the power related patent on Earth checked.
ing and intense.” of your knowledge? All these There will be no catastrophic ob-
“Various subliminal stimuli
“Quite intense,” Sollenar said, transactions are already matters solescence of the EV system.”
are broadcast with and keyed to
the overt subject matter. The looking directly ahead of him at of record in the IAB confidential Ermine said:“There are en-
the one blank wall of the office. files, in accordance with the By- gineers on Mars. Martian engi-
home receiving unit contains
Burr’s offices were several blocks Laws.” neers. They’re a dying race, but
feedback sensors which determine
viewer’s reaction to these downtown, in that direction. Ermine held up another finger. no one knows what they can still
the
some while “Well, I have no wish to enlarge “You’re forgetting I’m only here do.”
stimuli, and intensify
on that point, Mr. Burr being an to advise you. I have two things Sollenar raised his massive
playing down
others in order to
create complete emotional rap- IAB member in standing as good to say. They are: head.

port between the viewer and the
subject matter. EmpaVid, in other
words, is a system for orchestra-
ting the viewer’s emotions. The
home unit is self-contained, semi-
as yours, Mr. Sollenar. There was,
in any case, a further difficulty in
licensing EV,- due to the very
heavy cost involved in equipping
broadcasting stations and network
“These transactions are on file Ermine said: “Late this eve-
with the IAB because they in- ning, my office learned that Cort-
volve a great number of IAB wright Burr has been in close con-
members, and an increasingly sultation with the Martians for
large amount of capital. Also, several weeks. They have made

portable and not significantly relay equipment for this sort of Transworld’s exclusivity, under some sort of machine for him. He
bulkier than the standard re- TV transmission.” the IAB By-Laws, hold good
will was on the flight that landed at
EmpaVid compatible “Yes, there was.” only until thirty-three per cent the Facility a few moments ago.”
ceiver. is

with standard TV receivers — “Ultimately, however, you suc- market saturation has been Sollenar’s fists clenched. The
ceeded. You pointed out, quite reached. If EV is as good as it lights crashed off and on, and the
except, of course, that the subject
matter seems thin and vaguely rightly, that if just one station looks, that will be quite soon. room wailed. From the terrace
unsatisfactory on a standard re- made the change, and if just a After that, under the By-Laws, came a startled cry, and a sound
ceiver. So the consumer shortly few EV receivers were put into Transworld will be restrained of smashed glass.

114 GALAXY WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 115

 Mr. Ermine nodded, excused of static much like a sheet of foil TJALE and sick, Sollenar moved lifted his head and began to
himself and left. picked by the wind from some * to take the golden ball. He gather his body for the effort of
— A few moments later, Mr. careless trash heap. To all of the
senses of all interested parties he
wondered where Shakespeare rising.
at the pedes- could have seen an example such
Ermine stepped out
trian level of the Sollenar Build- was hardly there at all and, — as this, to know an old man could dow,
Sollenar retreated to the win-
the pistol sledging back-
land- thus, in an excellent position for much blood ward against his wrist and elbow
ing. He strolled through the have so in him.

scaped garden, and across the murder. Burr held the prize out to him. as he fired the remaining shots in
He fluttered against Burr’s
frothing brook toward the central Staring with eyes distended by the magazine.
walkway down the Avenue. He window. There was the man, hydrostatic pressure, his clothing Panting, he climbed up into the
paused at a hedge to pluck a crouched over his desk. What was raddled and his torso grinding window frame and clipped the
blossom and inhale its odor. He that in his hands —
a pomander? broken bones, Burr stalked away
its
harness to his body, craning to
walked away, holding it in his Sollenar clipped his harness to from the wall and moved as if look over his shoulder ... as Burr
naked fingers. the edges of the cornice. Swayed to embrace Sollenar. It was queer, — shredded; leaking blood and
out against it, his sponge-soled
the glass, he
but he was not dead. worse than blood — advanced
II boots pressed to Shuddering, Sollenar fired across the office.
touched his left hand to the win- again. He cast off his holds on the
the dow and described a circle. He Again Burr was thrown back. window
Drifting slowly
thread of his spinneret, Rufus
on
pushed; there was a
the carpeting in Burr’s office, and
thud on The ball spun from his splayed
fingers as he once more marked
worked the
frame and
Far
drifter controls.
clumsily

Sollenar came gliding down the above him, volatile ballast spilled
wind above Cortwright Burr’s now there was no barrier to Sol- the wall with his body. out and dispersed in the air long
lenar. Doubling his knees against Pomander, orange, whatever — before it touched ground. Sollenar
building.
The building, like a spider, his chest, he catapulted forward, it looked valuable. rose, sobbing —
touched the ground at only the the riot pistol in his right hand. Sollenar ran after the rolling And Burr stood in the window,
points of its legs. It held its wide, He stumbled and fell to his knees, ball. And Burr moved to inter- his shattered hands on the edges
low bulk spread like a parasol but the gun was up. cept him, nearly faceless, hunched of the cut circle, raising his dis-

over several downtown blocks. Burr jolted up behind his desk. under a great invisible weight that tended eyes steadily to watch
Sollenar, manipulating the heli- The little sphere of orange-gold slowly yielded as his back Sollenar in flight across the enig-
metal, streaked with darker matic sky.
um-filled plastic drifter far above groaned.
him, steered himself with jets of bronze, its surface vermicular Sollenar took a single back-
compressed gas from plastic bot- with encrustations, was still in ward step. ILW/TIERE he landed, on the
tles in the drifter’s structure.
his hands. “Him!” Burr cried out Burr took a step toward him. ” roof of a building in his
Only Sollenar himself, in all as Sollenar fired. The golden ball lay in a far possession, Sollenar had a disposal
Gasping, Sollenar watched the corner. Sollenar raised the pistol gun and his other
this system, was not effectively unit for his
charge strike Burr. Itthrew his despairingly and fired again. Burr He deferred for a time
transparent to the municipal anti- trappings.
backward faster than his tripped backward on tiptoe, his
plane radar. And he himself was torso the question of why Burr had
wrapped in long, fluttering limbs and head could follow with- arms like windmills, and fell atop failed at once to die. Empty-
streamers of dull black, metallic out dangling. The choked-down the prize. handed, he returned uptown.
To the eye, he was pistol was nearly silent. Burr Tears ran down Sollenar’s He entered his office, called
sheeting.
amorphous and non-reflective. To crashed backward to end, trans- cheeks. He pushed one foot for- and told his attorneys the exact
was a drift fixed, against the wall. ward and Burr, in his corner, times of departure and return and
electronic sensors, he . . .

116
GALAXY WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 117
 direct, trained blows he had could as easily renege on the Ball
We can sip and think.” learned at his athletic club. as a king could on his coronation.
knew the question of dealing with it

municipal authorities was thereby
resolved. That was simple enough,
with no witnesses to complicate
the matter. He began to wish he
hadn’t been so irresolute as to
leave Burr without the thing he
was after. Surely, if the pistol
hadn’t killed the man —
an old
man, with thin limbs and spotted
skin —he could have wrestled
He her draw him out onto
let
the terrace. He leaned on the
parapet, his arm around her puls-
ing waist, his cape drawn around
both their shoulders.
“Bess, I won’t ask if you’d stay
with me no matter what the cir-
cumstances. But it might be a
time will come when I couldn’t
bear to live in this city. What
Bone splintered against
stone. When the knuckles were
broken the hands instantaneously
disappeared, leaving only streaks
behind them. Sollenar looked over
the parapet. A bundle shrank
from sight, silhouetted against
lights of the pedestrian level and
the Avenue. It contracted to a
pinpoint. Then, when it reached
the brook and water flew
the “Burr, you scum, what have
you done to me?” he asked the
air, and the telephone said: “Beg
pardon?”
“Tell my valet,” Sollenar said.
“I’m going.” He dismissed the
the phone. His hands cupped in front
of his chest. A firm grip on empti-
ness might be stronger than any
in all
prize in a broken hand.
Carrying in his chest something •

that thin-limbed, bloody old man about that?”

aside —that spotted old man — “I don’t know,” she answered
directions, it disappeared
endowed
in a he refused to admit was terror,
honestly. final sunburst, with Sollenar made ready for the Ball.
and dragged himself and his prize
And Cortwright Burr put his glory by the many lights which But only a few moments after
back to the window, for all that
hand up over the edge of the par- found momentary reflection down the first dance set had ended.
the old man would have clung to
him, and clutched at his legs, and apet, between them. there. Malcolm Levier of the local TTV
“Bess, leave me! Leave me, station executive staff looked
fumbled for a handhold on his
somber disguise of wrappings — OLLENAR stared down at the please!” Rufus Sollenar cried out. over Sollenar’s shoulder and re-

that broken, immortal old man.

S straining knuckles, holding the marked:
man dangling Ill “Oh, there’s Cort Burr, dressed
Sollenar raised his hand. The entire weight of the
sheer face of the like a gallows bird.”
great window to the city grew against the
opaque. building. There was a sliding,
T>UFUS Sollenar paced his of- Sollenar, glittering in the cos-
•*-*- fice, hands held safely
Bess Allardyce knocked softly rustling noise, and the other hand his still tume of the Medici, did not turn

on the door from the terrace. He came up, searched blindly for a in front of him, their fingers his head. “Is he?What would he
hold and found hooked over spread and rigid. want here?”
would have thought she’d re- it,

turned to her own apartments the stone. The fingers tensed and The telephone sounded, and his Levier’s eyebrows arched. “He

many hours ago. Tortuously
pleased, he opened the door and
smiled at her, feeling the dried
tears crack on the skin of his
cheeks.
He took her proffered hands.
“You waited for me,” he sighed.
“A long time for anyone as beau-
tiful as you to wait.”
She smiled back at him. “Let’s
go out and look at the stars.”
“Isn’t it chilly?”
“I made spiced hot cider for us.
118
rose, their tips flattening at the secretary said to him: “Mr. Sol- holds a little stock. He has entree.
pressure as Burr tried to pull his lenar, you are ten minutes from But he’s late.” Levier’s lips
head and shoulders up to the being late at the TTV
Executives’ quirked. “It must have taken him
level of the parapet. Ball. This is a First Class obliga- some time to get that makeup on.”
Bess breathed:' “Oh, look at tion.” “Not in good taste, is it?”
them! He must have torn them Sollenar laughed. “I thought it “Look for yourself.”
terribly climbing up!” Then she was, when I originally classified “Oh, I’ll do better than that,”
pulled away from Sollenar and it.” Sollenar said. “I’ll go and talk to
stood staring at him, her hand to “Are you now planning to re- him a while. Excuse me, Levier.”
her mouth. “But he couldn’t have nege, Mr. Sollenar?” the secretary And only then did he turn around,
climbed! We’re so high!” inquired politely. already started on his first pace
Sollenar beat at the hands with Certainly, Sollenar thought. He toward the man.
the heels of his palms, using the
WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 119
GALAXY
T>UT Cortwright Burr was only he hadn’t the grace to go will-
a pasteboard imitation of ingly?
himself as Sollenar had come to “Cortwright,” Sollenar said in
know him. He stood to one side of a voice confined to the two of
the doorway, dressed in black and them. “So your Martian immor-
crimson robes, with black leather tality works.”
gauntlets on his hands, carrying Burr said nothing.
a staff of weathered, natural “You got that in addition,
wood. His face was shadowed by didn’t you? You knew how I’d re-
a sackcloth hood, the eyes well act. You knew you’d need pro-
hidden. His face was powdered tection. Paid the Martians to
gray, and some blend of livid col- make you physically invulner-
ors hollowed his cheeks. He stood able? It’s a good system. Very
motionless as Sollenar came up to impressive. Who would have
him. thought the Martians knew so
As he had crossed the floor, much? But who here is going to
each step regular, the eyes of by- pay attention to you now? Get
standers had followed Sollenar, out of town, Cortwright. You’re
they
until, anticipating his course, past your chance. You’re dead as
found Burr waiting. The noise far as these people are concerned
level of the Ball shrank percept- — all you have left is your skin.”
ibly, for the lesser revelers who Burr repched up and surrepti-
chanced to be present were sus- tiously lifted a corner of his
taining it all alone. The people fleshed mask. And there he was,
who really mattered here were under it. The hood retreated an
silent and watchful. inch, and the light reached his
The thought was that Burr, de- eyes; and Sollenar had been
feated in business, had come here wrong, Burr had less left than he
in some insane reproach to his thought.
adversary, in this lugubrious, dis- “Oh, no, no, Cortwright,” Solle-
tasteful clothing. Why, he looked nar said softly. “No, you’re right
like a corpse.Or worse. — I can’t stand up to that.”
The question was, what would He turned and bowed to the as-
Sollenar say to him? The wish sembled company. “Good night!”
was that Burr would take himself he cried, and walked out of the
away, back to his estates or to ballroom.
some other city. New York was no Someone followed him down
longer for Cortwright Burr. But the corridor to the elevators.
what would Sollenar say to him Sollenar did not look behind him.
now, to drive him back to where “I have another appointment

120 GALAXY
 superior to yours, and that stock driver a card, and the cab lifted
with you now,” Ermine said at Easily gratified at little expense.
in Sollenar, Incorporated, had off with him, its lights glaring in
his elbow. Our dreams are totally interior,
best be disposed of.” Mr. Sollenar. The operation is a Priority pattern, far faster than
Sollenar’s ordinary legal limit
THEY What would you buy
reached the pedestrian “There’s a bench,” Sollenar irreversible.
“There’s down.”
said. “Let’s sit me with your money?” allowed.
level. Sollenar said: for
a cafe. We
can talk there.” “As you wish.” Ermine moved “What would I buy for my-
beside Sollenar to the bench, but self?” Sollenar’s head sank down
IV
“Too public, Mr. Sollenar. Let’s
simply stroll and converse.” Er- remained standing. between his shoulders.
“What is it, Mr. Sollenar?” Ermine bent over him. “Your ONG Island Facility vaulted
mine lightly took his arm and
guided him along the walkway. “I want your help. You advised despair is your own, Mr. Sollenar.
L at the stars in great kangaroo-

Sollenar noticed then that Er- me on what Burr had. It’s
somewhere.
mine was costumed so cunningly in his office building,
that no one could have guessed You have resoures. We can get
the appearance of the man. it.”
still
I have official business with
you.” leaps of arch and cantilever span,
jeweled in glass and metal as
He lifted Sollenar’s chin with
a forefinger. “I judge physical in- ifthe entire port were a mecha-
terference to be unwarranted at nism for navigating interplane-

“Very well,” Sollenar said. “Laissez faire, Mr. Sollenar. I this time. But matters must tary space. Rufus Sollenar paced
visited you in an advisory capa- remain so that the IAB members its esplanades, measuring his
“Of course.”
city. I can do no more.” involved with you can recover steps, holding his arms still, for
They walked together, casu-
ally. Ermine said: “Burr’s driving “For a partnership in my af-
the value of their investments in the short time until he could
you to your death. Is it because fairs could you do more?” EV. Is that perfectly clear, Mr. board the Mars rocket.
you tried to kill him earlier? Did “Money?” Ermine tittered. Sollenar? You are hereby en- Erect and majestic, he took a
you get his Martian secret?” “For me? Do you know the con- joined under the By-Laws, as place in the lounge and carefully
Sollenar shook his head. ditions of my employment?” enforced by the Special Public sipped liqueur, once the liner had
“You didn’t get it.” Ermine Relations Office.” He glanced at boosted away from Earth and
TF HE had thought, Sollenar coupled in its Faraday main
sighed. “That’s unfortunate. I’ll his watch. “Notice was served at
have to take steps.” would have remembered. He 1:27 AM, City time.” drives.

“Under the By-Laws,” Sollenar
cry laissez faire.”
said, “I
Ermine looked up,
twinkling. “Laissez faire? Mr.
lenar, do you have any idea
many of our members are in-
volved in your fortunes? They
will cry laissez faire, Mr. Sollenar,
but clearly you persist in drag-
ging them down with you. No, sir,
Mr. Sollenar, my office now for-
reached out tentatively. Ermine “1:27,” Sollenar said.
anticipated him. time.” He sprang to his feet and
eyes Ermine bared his left arm and down a companionway
his raced
sank his teeth into it. He dis-
Sol- the taxi level.
how played the arm. There was no Mr. Ermine watched him quiz-
quiver of pain in voice or stance.
zically.
“It’s not a legend, Mr. Sollenar. He opened his costume, took
It’s quite true. We of our office out his omnipresent medical kit,
must spend a year, after the nerve and sprayed coagulant over the
surgery, learning to walk without wound in his forearm. Replacing
the feel of our feet, to handle ob- he adjusted his clothing
the kit,
“City Mr. Ermine settled into the
place beside him.
to Sollenar looked over at him
calmly. “I thought so.”
Ermine nodded. “Of course you
did. But I didn’t almost miss you.
I was here ahead of you. I have
no objection to your going to
Mars, Mr. Sollenar. Laissez faire.
Provided I can go along.”
“Well,” Rufus Sollenar said.

wards an immediate recommenda- jects without crushing them or and strolled down the same com- “Liqueur?” He gestured with his

tion to the Technical Advisory letting them slip, or damaging panionway Sollenar had run. He glass.

ourselves. Our mundane pleasures Ermine shook his head. “No,

Committee of the IAB that Mr. raised an arm, and a taxi flittered
are auditory, olfactory, and visual. down beside him. He showed the thank you,” he said delicately.
Burr probably has a system

122 GALAXY WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 123

 buildings huddled, but huddled here and there, not all of them
Sollenar said: “Even your light is poor, but I think he’s rec-
proudly, at the desert’s edge. busy. “Come here,” Sollenar said,
tongue?” ognizable.”
Low on the horizon was the nodding toward one of them.
“Of course
lenar. I
my tongue,
taste nothing.
Mr.
I
Sol-
touch
Across the lounge, Burr raised
his head and looked into Sollen-
Martian settlement —
the build- They stopped out of sight of
blended with the
ings so skillfully the lobby and the main corridor.
nothing.” Ermine smiled. “But I ar’s eyes. He raised a hand near
landscape, eroded, so much
so “Come on,” Sollenar said. “A lit-
feel no pressure.” his face, perhaps merely to signify
abandoned that the uninformed tle further.”
“All right, then,” Rufus Sol- greeting. Rufus Sollenar faced
eye saw nothing. Sollenar had “No,” Ermine said. “This is
lenar said crisply. “We have sev-
eral hours to landing time. You
front.
“A worthy opponent, Mr. Sol-
been to Mars — on a tour. He had farther than I really wish. It’s
seen the natives in their nameless dark here.”
sit and dream your interior lenar,” Ermine said. “A persever-
dwelling place; arrogant, venom- “Wise too late, Mr. Ermine,”
dreams, and I’ll dream mine.” He ing, unforgiving, ingenious man.
faced around in his chair and —
And yet ” Ermine seemed a lit-
ous and weak. He had been told,
by the paid guide, they trafficked
Sollenar said, his arms flashing
out.
folded his arms across his chest. tle touched by bafflement. “And
with Earthmen as much as they One palm impacted against
“Mr. Sollenar,” Ermine said yet it seems to me, Mr. Sollenar,
cared to, and kept to their place Ermine’s solar plexus, and the
gently. that he got you running rather
on the rim of Earth’s encroach- other against the muscle at the
“Yes?” easily. What did happen between
ment, observing. side of his neck, but not hard
“I am once again with you by you, after my advisory call?”
“Tell me, Ermine,” Sollenar enough to kill. Ermine collapsed,
appointment as provided under Sollenar turned a terrible smile
said quietly as they walked across starved for oxygen, while Sollen-
the By-Laws.” on Ermine. “I shot him to pieces.
the terminal lobby. “You’re to kill ar silently cursed having been
“State your business, Mr. Er- If you’d peel his face, you’d see.”
me, aren’t you, if I try to go on cured of murder. Then Sollenar
mine.” Ermine sighed. “Up to this
without you?” turned and ran.
“You are not permitted to lie moment, I had thought perhaps
“A matter of procedure, Mr. Behind him Ermine’s body
in an unknown grave, Mr. Sol- you might still salvage your
Sollenar,” Ermine said evenly. struggled to draw breath by re-
lenar. Insurance policies on your affairs.”
“We cannot risk the investment flex alone.
life have been taken out at a high “Pity, Mr. Ermine? Pity for
capital of so many IAB members.” Moving as fast as he dared,
premium rate. The IAB members the insane?”
Sollenar sighed. “If I were any Sollenar walked back and
concerned cannot wait the statu- “Interest. I can take no part in
other member, how I would com- reached the taxi lock, pulling a
tory seven years to have you your world. Be grateful, Mr. Sol-
mend you, Mr. Ermine! Can we respirator from a wall rack as he
declared dead. Do what you will, lenar. I am not the same gullible
hire a car for ourselves, then, went. He flagged a car and gave
Mr. Sollenar, but I must take care man I was when I signed my con-
somewhere nearby?” his destination, looking behind
I witness your death. From now tract with IAB, so many years
“Going out to see the engi- him. He had seen nothing of Cort-
on, I am with you wherever you ago.”
neers?” Ermine asked. “Who wright Burr since setting foot on
go.” Sollenar laughed. Then he stole
would have thought they’d have Mars. But he knew that soon or
Sollenar smiled. “I don’t intend a glance at Burr’s corner.
something valuable for sale?” late, Burr would find him.
to die. Why should I die, Mr.
Ermine?” rTTHE ship came down at Aber-
“I want to show them some- A few moments later Ermine
*- thing,” Sollenar said. got to his feet. Sollenar’s carwas
“I have no idea, Mr. Sollenar. nathy Field, in Aresia, the
“What thing, Mr. Sollenar?” well away. Ermine shrugged and
But I know Cortwright Burr’s Terrestrial city. Industralized,
They turned the corner of a went to the local broadcasting
character. And isn’t that he, prefabricated, jerry-built and
corridor, with branching hallways station.
seated there in the corner? The clamorous, the storm-proofed

GALAXY WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 125

124
 He commandeered a private What from Aresia had been a
dun color was here stant care kept off the street, the parted deliberately to let Sollenar
desk, a firearm and immediate solid front of
time on the IAB interoffice circuit a facade of red, green and blue shadow-houses fenced his way in.

to Earth. When his call acknowl- splashed about centuries ago and and the sculptures were motion- Before the door closed behind
less as hope. Ahead of him, he saw him, Sollenar looked back. But
edgement had come back to him since then weathered only enough
had the buildings of the engineers. the rubble of the abandoned sec-
from his office there, he reported: to show how bitter the colors
“Sollenar is enroute to the Mar- once been. The plum-colored sky There was no heap to climb and tors blocked his line of sight into

tian city. He wants a duplicate stretched over all this like a frigid look to see if Ermine followed the desert.
of Burr’s device, of course, since membrane, and the wind blew close behind. “What can you offer? And what
he smashed the original when he and blew. Sucking his respirator, he do you want?” the Martian asked.
killed Burr. I’ll follow and make Here and there,he pro-
as reached the building of the Mar- Sollenar stood half-ringed by
final disposition. The disorienta- gressed, Sollenar saw Martian
tian engineers. them, in a room whose corners
tion I reported previously is pro- arms and heads protruding from A
sounding strip ran down the he could not see in the uncertain
gressing rapidly. Almost all his the rubble. Sculptures. doorjamb. He scratched his fin- light.
gernails sharply along it, and the offer you Terrestrial
responses now are inappropriate. He was moving toward the “I cur-
On the flight out, he seemed to heart of the city, where some few
magnified vibration, ducted rency.”
be staring at something in an unbroken structures persisted. At throughout the hollow walls, The English-speaking Martian
empty seat. Quite often when the top of a heap of shards he
rattled his plea for entrance. — the Martian who had admitted
spoken to he obviously hears turned to look behind him. There to speaking English — turned his

something else entirely. I expect
to catch one of the next few flights
back.”
There was no point
for comment to
back from Earth. Ermine left. He
went to a cab rank and paid the
exorbitant fee for transportation
outside Aresian city limits.
/''’LOSE at hand, the Martian
^ city was like
broken Shards of wall and
pots.
roof joined at savage angles and
pointed to nothing. Underfoot,
drifts of vitreous material, shaped
to fit no sane configuration, and
broken to fit such a mosaic as no
church would contain, rocked and
slid under Sollenar’s hurrying
feet.
126
was the dust-plume of his cab, re- V head slightly and spoke to his
turning to the city. He expected fellows. There were clacking
to walk back —
perhaps to meet ^T'HE door opened, and Mar-
tians stood looking. They
sounds as his lips met. The others
in waiting someone on the road, all alone on reacted variously, one of them
wend its way the Martian plain if only Ermine were spindly-limbed and slight, suddenly gesturing with what
would forebear from interfering. their faces framed by folds of seemed a disgusted flip of his arm
Searching the flat, thin-aired leathery tissue. Their mouths before he turned without further
landscape, he tried to pick out were lipped with horn as hard as word and stalked away, his
the plodding dot of Cortwright dentures, and pursed, forever shoulders looking like the
Burr. But not yet. ready to masticate. They were shawled back of a very old and
He turned and ran down the pleasant neither to look at nor, very hungry woman.
a welter of untrustworthy slope. Sollenar knew, to deal with. But
Cortwright Burr had done And
“What did Burr give you?” Sol-
He reached the edge of the it. lenar asked.
maintained area. Here the rubble Sollenar needed to do it. “Burr.” The Martian cocked
was gone, the ancient walks “Does anyone here speak Eng- his head. His eyes were not
lish?” he asked. multi-faceted, but gave that im-
swept, the statues kept upright on
their pediments. But only broken “I,” said the central Martian, pression.
walls suggested the fronts of the his mouth opening to the sound, “He was here and he dealt with
houses that had stood here. Knif- end the reply.
closing to you. Not long ago. On what
ing their sides up through the “Iwould like to deal with you.” basis?”
wind-rippled sand that only con- “Whenever,” the Martian said, “Burr. Yes. Burr gave us cur-
and the group at the doorway rency. We will take currency
GALAXY
WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT 127
 just to allow for it,” said the would, I believe, be Rufus Sollen-
from you. For the same thing we used pictures on a screen, and English-speaking Martian. ar? Burr spoke of you and made
gave him?” broadcast sounds, to carry the de- “The machine creates any de- the noise of laughing.”
“For immortality, yes.” tails of the story told to the au- sired situation in the auditor’s Sollenar opened his mouth.
“Im —
This is a new word.” ditor.” mind?” But there was nothing to say.
“Is it? For the secret of not “He stole those patents! He “Certainly. There are simple “You want such a device?” the
dying?” couldn’t have used them on predisposing tapes that can be Martian asked. “We’ve prepared
“Not dying? You think we Earth.” inserted as desired. Love, adven- several since Burr left. He spoke
have not-dying for sale here?”
Ci A ND why Our
ture, cerebration —
it makes no of machines that would manufac-
The Martian spoke to the others should he? difference.” ture them in astronomical num-
again. Their lips clattered. Others device needs to convey no Several of the bystanders bers. We, of course, have done
left, like the first one had, moving precise details. Any mind can clacked sounds out to each other. our best with our poor hands.”
with great precision and very make its own. It only needs to be Sollenar looked at them narrowly. Sollenar said: “I would like to
slow step, and no remaining tol- put a situation, and from
into Itwas obvious there had to be look out your door.”
erance for Sollenar. there can do all the work. If an
it more than one English-speaker “Pleasure.”
Sollenar cried out:“What did auditor wishes a story of contact among these people. Sollenar opened the door slight-
you him, then?”
sell with other sexes, for example, the “And the device you gave ly. Mr. Ermine stood in the
The principal engineer said: projector simply makes it seem to Burr,” he asked the engineer, cleared street, motionless as the
“We made an entertainment de- him, the next time he is with the neither calmly nor hopefully. shadow buildings behind him. He
vice for him.” object of his desire, that he is get- “What of stories could its
sort raised one hand in a gesture of
“A little thing. This size.” Sol- ting positive feedback —
that he auditors tell themselves?” unfelt greeting as he saw Sollenar,
lenar cupped his hands. is arousing a similar response in
then put it back on the stock of
“You have seen it, then.” that object. Once that has been T^HE Martian cocked his head his rifle. Sollenar closed the door,
“Yes. And nothing more? That established for him, the auditor again. It gave him the look of and turned to the Martian. “How
was all he bought here?” may leave the machine,
then an owl at a bedroom window. “Oh, much currency do you want?”
“It was all we had to sell— or move about normally, conduct his there was one situation we were “Oh, all you have with you.
give. We don’t yet know whether life as usual —
but always in particularly instructed to include. You people always have a good
Earthmen will give us things in accordance with the basic situa- Burr said he was thinking ahead deal with you when you travel.”
exchange for currency. We’ll see, tion. It is, you see, in the end a to showing it to an acquaintance Sollenar plunged his hands
when we next need something means of introducing system into of his. into his pockets and pulled out
from Aresia.” his view of reality. Of course, his “It was a
situation of adven- his billfold, his change, his keys,
Sollenar demanded: “How did society must understand that he ture; of adventure with the fear- his jeweled radio; whatever was
it work? This thing you sold him.” is not in accord with reality, for ful. Andit was to end in loss and there, he rummaged out onto the
“Oh, it lets people tell stories some of what he does cannot bitterness.” The Martian looked floor, listening to the sound of
to themselves.” seem rational from an outside even more closely at Sollenar. “Of rolling coins.
Sollenar looked closely at the view of him. So some care must course, the device does not speci- “I wish I had more here,” he
Martian. “What kind of stories?” be taken, but not much. If many fy details. No one but the auditor laughed. “I wish I had the amount
“Any kind,” the Martian said such devices were to enter his can know what fearful thing in- that man out there is going to
blandly. “Burr told us what he society, soon the circumstances
habits his story, or precisely how recover when he shoots me.”
wanted. He had drawings with would become commonplace, and the end of it would come. You The Martian engineer cocked
him of an Earthman device that the society would surely read-

Wall of crystal, eye of night 129

128 GALAXY
his head. “But your dream is
over, Mr. Sollenar,” he clacked
drily. “Isn’t it?”
“Quite so. But you to your
purposes and I to mine. Now give
me one of those projectors. And
set it to predispose a situation I
am about to specify to you. Take
however long it needs. The audi-
ence is a patient one.” He
laughed, and tears gathered in
his eyes.
T%/|"R. Ermine waited, isolated
from the cold, listening to
hear whether the rifle stock was
slipping out of his fingers. He
had no desire to go into the Mar-
tian building after Sollenar and
involve third parties. All he
wanted was to put Sollenar’s
body under a dated marker, with
as little trouble as possible.
Nowand then he walked a few
paces backward and forward, to
keep from losing muscular control
at his extremities because of low
skin temperature. Sollenar must
come out soon enough. He had no
food supply with him, and though
Ermine did not like the risk of
engaging a man like Sollenar in
was no
a starvation contest, there
doubt that a man with no taste
for fuel could outlastone with the
acquired reflexes of eating.
The door opened and Sollenar
came out.
He was carrying something.
Perhaps a weapon. Ermine let
130
him come closer while he raised
and carefully sighted his rifle. Sol-
lenar might have some Martian
weapon or he might not. Ermine
did not particularly care. If Er-
mine he would hardly notice
died,
it— far less than he would notice
a botched ending to a job of work
already roiled by Sollenar’s break
away at the space field. If Ermine
some other SPRO agent
died,
would be assigned almost immedi-
ately. No matter what happened,
SPRO would stop Sollenar before
he ever reached Abernathy Field.
So there was plenty of time to
aim an unhurried, clean shot.
Sollenar was closer, now. He
seemed to be in a very agitated
frame of mind. He held out what-
ever he had in his hand.
It was another one of the Mar-
tian entertainment machines. Sol-
lenar seemed to be offering it
a token to Ermine. Ermine smiled.
“What can you offer me, Mr.
Sollenar?” he said, and shot.
The golden ball rolled away
over the sand. “There, now,” Er-
mine said. “Now, wouldn’t you
sooner be me than you? And
where is the thing that made the
difference between us?”
He shivered. He was chilly.
Sand was blowing against his
tender face, which had been some-
what abraded during his long
wait.
He stopped, transfixed.
He lifted his head.
GALAXY
Then, with a great swing of his
arms, he sent the rifle whirling
away. “The wind!” he sighed into
the thin air. “I feel the wind.”
leapt into the air, and sand flew
away from his feet as he landed.
He whispered to himself: “I feel
the ground!”
He stared in tremblant joy at
Sollenar’s empty body. “What
have you given me?” Full of his
own rebirth, he swung his head up
at the sky again, and cried in the
direction of the Sun: “Oh, you
squeezing, nibbling people who
made me
incorruptible
thought that was the end of me!”
With love he buried Sollenar,
and with reverence he put up the
marker, but he had plans for what
he might accomplish with the
facts of this transaction, and
myriad others he was privy to.
the
as A sharp bit of pottery had pen-
etrated the sole of his shoe and
gashed his foot, but he, not having
seen it, hadn’t felt it. Nor would
he see it or feel it even when he
changed his stockings; for he had
not noticed the
wound when
was made. It didn’t matter. In a
few days it would heal, though
not as rapidly as if it had been
properly attended to.
Vaguely, he heard the sound of
Martians clacking behind their
closed door as he hurried out of
the city, full of revenge, and rev-
erence for his savior.
— ALGIS BUDRYS
WALL OF CRYSTAL, EYE OF NIGHT
THE BEST IN PAPERBOUND
SCIENCE FICTION BOOKS
Your favorite authors and their
He greatest stories! Satisfaction guaran-
5— or money back within ten days.
teed
12—
13— TAKE YOUR PICK
16—
6
THE WORLD BELOW, S. Fowler Wright
THE ALIEN, Raymond F. Jones
17—
9— FOUR-SIDED TRIANGLE, W. F. Temple
19— HOUSE OF MANY WORLDS, Sam Merwln
21— SEEDS OF LIFE, John Taine
23— —
14 PEBBLE IN THE SKY, Isaac Asimov
24— —
15 THREE GO BACK, J. Leslie Mitchell
26— THE WARRIORS OF DAY, James Blish
WELL OF THE WORLDS, Lewis Padgett
18 — CITY AT WORLD'S END, Edmond Hamilton
30—
31—
32— JACK OF EAGLES, James Blish
33—
20 BLACK GALAXY, Murray Leinster
35— THE HUMANOIDS, Jack Williamson
and 36— MURDER IN SPACE, David V. Reed
LEST DARKNESS FALL, L. S. de Camp
38— —
25 THE LAST SPACESHIP, Murray Leinster
CHESSBOARD PLANET, Lewis Padgett
27 TARNISHED UTOPIA, Malcolm Jameson
DOUBLE JEOPARDY, Fletcher Pratt
43— SHAMBLEAU,
44— C. L. Moore
45— ADDRESS: CENTAURI, F. L. Wallace
46— MISSION OF GRAVITY, Hal Clement
34 TWICE IN TIME, Manly Wade Wellman
FOREVER MACHINE, Clifton & Riley
ODD JOHN, W.
37 —THE Olaf
Stapledon
DEVIATES, Raymond Jones
F.
TROUBLED STAR, George
39— PAGAN PASSION, Garrett & Harris
Smith
0.
40— VIRGIN PLANET, Poul Anderson
41 — FLESH, Philip
42 — SEX WAR, Sam Merwin
Jose Farmer
A WOMAN A DAY, Philip J. Farmer
THE MATING CRY, A. E. Van Vogt
THE MALE RESPONSE, Brian W. Aldiss
SIN IN SPACE, Cyril M. Judd
Galaxy Publishing Corporation
it 421 Hudson Street, New York 14, N. Y.
Send me the following GALAXY NOVELS:
I enclose remittance at 6 FOR |2.00 or 35c
each.
Name
Address
City
Zone State
131
 ' *

Meet Higgston Rainbird, who

invented steamboating and

the nuclear pile —remember?

RAINBIHD
By R. A. LAFFERTY
Illustrated by WALKER

W ERE
truly
name
scientific
tabulated
Yankee in-
of the
ventor, Higgston Rainbird, would
surely be without peer. Yet today
he is known (and only to a few
firsts
the

specialists, at that) for an im-

proved blacksmith’s bellows in
the year 1785, for a certain modi-
fication (not fundamental) in the
moldboard plow about 1805, for a
better (but not good) method of
reefing the lateensail, for a chest-

nut roaster, for the Devil’s Claw

Wedge for splitting logs, and for
a nutmeg grater embodying a

132 GALAXY
new safety feature; this last was explanation; and if not that, then His sparker was not a success. For better or worse he brought
either in the year 1816 or 1817. an account at least; and if not It would be expensive, its spark
He is known for such, and for no that, well —
something anyhow. was uncertain and it had almost
the country up a long road, so
there was hardly a custom of his
more. no advantage over flint. People boyhood that still continued.
Were this all that he had UTGGSTON RAINBIRD could always start a fire. If not, Probably no one man had ever
achieved his name would still be made a certain decision on they could borrow a brand from changed a country so much in
secure. And it is secure, in a a June afternoon in 1779 when a neighbor. There was no market his lifetime.
limited way, and to those who he was quite a young man, and for the sparker. But it was a nice He
fathered a true machine-
hobby in technological history. by this decision he confirmed his machine, hammered copper strips tool industry,and brought rubber
But the glory of which history inventive bent. wrapped around iron teased with from the tropics and plastic from
has cheated him, or of which he He was hawking
from the top lodestone, and the thing turned the laboratory. He pumped petro-
cheated himself, is otherwise. In of Devil’s Head Mountain. He with a hand crank. He never leum, and used natural gas for
a different sense, it is without flew his falcon (actually a tercel gave it up entirely. He based illumination and steam power.
parallel, absolutely unique. hawk) down through the white other things upon it; and the He was honored and enriched;
For he pioneered the dynamo, clouds, and to him it was the retrogressor of his last years and, looking back, he had no
the steam automobile, the steel highest sport in the world. The could not have been built with- reason to regard his life as
industry, ferro-concrete construc- bird came back, climbing the blue out it.
wasted.
tion, the internal combustion en- air, and brought a passenger But the main thing was steam, “Yet missed so much. I
I’ve
gine, electric illumination and pigeon from below the clouds. iron, and tools. He made
the fin- tar-heeled and wasted a lot of
power, the wireless, the televox, And Higgston was almost per- est lathes. He revolutionized time. If only I could have avoided
the petroleum and petro-chemi- fectly happy as he hooded the smelting and mining. He brought the blind alleys, I could have
cal industries, monorail transpor- hawk. new things to power, and started done many times as much. I
tation, air travel, world-wide He could stay there all day the smoke to rolling. He
made brought machine-tooling to its
monitoring, fissionable power, and hawk from above the clouds. mistakes, he ran into dead ends, apex. But I neglected the finest
space travel, group telepathy, Or he could go down the moun- ho wasted whole decades. But
tool of all, the mind. I used it as
political and economic balance; tain and work on his sparker in one man can only do so much. it is, had no time to study
but I
he built a retrogressor; and he his shed. He sighed as he made He married a shrew, Audrey, it, much modify it. Others
less
made advances towards
great the decision, for no man can have knowing that a man cannot after me do it all. But I
will
corporeal immortality and the everything. There was a fascina- achieve without a goad as well rather wanted to do it all myself.
apotheosis of mankind. It would tion about hawking. But there as a goal. But he was without Now it is too late.”
seem unfair that all this is un- was also a fascination about the issue or disciple, and this worried
known of him. copper-strip sparker. And he him. TTE went back and worked with
Even the once-solid facts — that went down the mountain to work He built steamboat and steam- his old sparker and its de-
he wired Philadelphia for light on it. train. His was the first steam scendants, now that he was old.
and power in 1799, Boston the Thereafter he hawked less. thresher. He cleared the forests He built toys along the line of it
following year and New York After several years he was forced with wood-burning giants, and that need not always have re-
—
two years later are no longer to give it up altogether. He had designed towns. He destroyed mained toys. He made a televox,
solid. In a sense they are no chosen his life, the dedicated southern slavery with a steam- but the only practical application
longer facts. career of an inventor, and he Powered cotton picker, and power was that now Audrey could rail
For all this there must be an stayed with it for sixty-five years. and wealth followed him. at him over a greater distance.

134 GALAXY r AIN BIRD 135

He fired up a little steam dynamo till later. As my name is Rainbird,
“How do you know the bird once. Man, I’ll pave a path for
in his house, ran wires and made if I had it to do over, I’d do it
Who are you, and how you over the hard places and
is tough?
it burn lights in his barn. infinitely better.”
did an old man like you climb up strew palms before your feet.”
And he built a retrogressor. He began to write a list of the here without my seeing you. And “Talk, you addle-pated old
would do much more along things that he’d have done better. No man ever listened so
“I how in hellpepper did you know gaff.
this line had I the time. But I’m Then he stopped and threw away that my name was Higgston?” hard before.”
pepper-bellied pretty near the his pen in disgust. “I ate the bird and I remember
end of the road. It is like finally
coming to a gate and seeing a
“Never did even invent a de-
cent ink-pen. Never got around
Dog-eared damnation,
that it was tough. I am just an
old man who would tell you a
THE old
young one
man talked to
for five hours.
the
Not
whole greater world beyond it, to it.
few things to avoid in your life, a word was wasted: they were
and being too old and too feeble there’s so much I didn’t do!”
and I came up here by means of neither of them given to wasting
to enter.” He poured himself a jolt, but an invention of my own. And I words. He told him that steam
He kicked a chair and broke he made a face as he drank it. know your name is Higgston, as wasn’t everything —
this before
it. “Never got around to distilling it is also my name; you being he knew that it was anything. It
“I never even made a better a really better whisky. Had some named after me, or I after you, was a giant power, but it was
chair. Never got around to it. good ideas along that line too. I forget which. Which one of us limited. Other powers, perhaps,
There are so clod-hopping many So many things I never did do. is the oldest anyhow?” were not. instructed him to
He
things I meant to do. I have may- Well, I can’t improve things by explore the possibilities of ampli-
“I had thought that you were,
be pushed the country ahead a talking to myself here about it.”
fication and feedback, and to use
old man. I am a little interested
couple of decades faster than it Then he sat and thought. in inventions myself. How does always the lightest medium of
would otherwise have gone. But “But I burr-tailed can improve transmission of power: wire rath-
the one that carried you Up here
what couldn’t I have done if it things by talking to myself there er than mule-drawn coal cart,
work?”
weren’t for the blind alleys! Ten about it.”
“It begins, well it begins with air rather than wire, ether rather
years lost in one of them, twelve He turned on his retrogressor, something like your sparker, than air. He warned against time
in one. If only there had been a and went back sixty-five years Higgston. And as the years go by wasted in shoring up the obsolete,
way to tell the true from the and up two thousand feet. you adapt and add. But it is and of the bottomless quicksand
false, and to leave to others what all tinkering with a force field of cliche, both of word and of
they could do, and to do myself IGGSTONRainbird was
tillyou are able to warp it a thought.
only what nobody else could do. hawking from the top of Now then, you are an ewer-
little. He admonished him not to
To see a link (however unlikely) Devil’s Head Mountain one June eared galoot and not as hand- waste precious months in trying
and go out and get it and set it afternoon in 1779. He flew his some as I remembered you; but to devise the perfect apple-corer;
in its place. O the waste, the wil- bird down through the white- I happen to know that you have there will never be a perfect
derness that a talent can wander fleece clouds, and to him it was the makings of a fine man. Listen apple-corer. He begged him not
in! If I had only had a mentor! sport indeed. Then it came back, now as hard as evqr you listened to build a better bob-sled. There
If Ihad had a map, a clue, a hat- climbing the shimmering air, and in your life. I doubt that I will would be things far swifter than
ful of clues. I was born shrewd, brought a pigeon to him. be able to repeat. I will save the bob-sled.
and I shrewdly cut a path and “It’s fun,” said the old man, you years and decades; I will Let others make the new hide-
went a grand ways. But always “but the bird is tough, and you tell you the best road to take scrapers and tanning salts. Let
there was a clearer path and have a lot to do. Sit down and over a journey which it was once others aid the carter and the
a faster way that I did not see listen, Higgston.” said that a man could travel but candle-molder and the cooper in

136 GALAXY RAINBIRD 137


their arts. There was need
better halm, a better horse-block,
a better stile, a better whetstone.
Well, let others fill those needs.
If our button-hooks, our fire-dogs,
our whiffle-trees, our boot- jacks,
our cheese-presses are all badly
designed and a disgrace, then let
someone else remove that dis-
grace. Let others aid the cord-
wainer and the cobbler. Let
Higgston do only the high work
that nobody else would be able
to do.
There would come
when the farrier himself would
disappear, as the fletcher had all
but disappeared. But new trades
would open for a man with an
open mind.
man
Then the old got specific.
He showed young Higgston a de-
sign for a lathe-dog that would
save time. He told him how to
draw, rather than hammer wire;
and advised him of the virtues
of mica as insulator until better
materials should come to hand.
“And here there are some
things that you will have to take
old man,
on faith,” said the
“things of which we learn the
‘what’ before we fathom the
” tried the knob. And it was un-
‘why.’
Heexplained to him the shut-
tle armature and the self-exciting
field and commutation; and the
possibilities that alternation car-
ried to its ultimate might open
up. He told him a bejammed lot
138
of things about a confounded huge
for a
variety of subjects.
“And a little mathematics
never hurt a practical man,” said
the old gaffer. “I was self-taught,
and it slowed me down.”
They hunkered down
and the old man cyphered it all
out in the dust on the top of
Devil’s Head Mountain. He
showed him natural logarithms
and rotating vectors and the cal-
culi and such; but he didn’t push
it too far, as even a smart boy
can learn only so much in a few
a time
minutes. He then gave him a
little advice on the treatment of
Audrey, knowing it would be
useless, for the art of living with
a shrew is a thing that cannot
be explained to another.
“Now hood your hawk and go
down the mountain and go to
work,” the old man said. And
that is what young Higgston
Rainbird did.
HE Yankee
T career of the
ventor, Higgston
Rainbird,
was meteoric. The wise men of
Greece were little boys to him,
the Renaissance giants had only
knocked at the door but had not
the time.
locked all
The milestones that Higgston
left are breathtaking. He built a
short high dam on the flank of
Devil’s Head Mountain, and had
hydroelectric power for his own
GALAXY
shop in that same year (1779). “He has made all the basic
He had an arc light burning in inventions,” said the many-
Horse-Head Lighthouse in 1781. tongued people. “Now there re-
He read by true incandescent mains only their refinement and
light in 1783, and lighted his proper utilization.”
native village, Knobknocker, “Horse hockey,” said Higgston
there, three years later. He drove a Rainbird. He made a rocket that
charcoal-fueled automobile in could carry freight to England
1787, switched to a distillate of minutes at seven cents
in thirteen
whale oil in 1789, and used true a hundredweight. This was in
rock-oil in 1790. His gasoline 1805. He had fissionable power
powered combination reaper- in 1813, and within four years
thresher was
in commercial pro- had the price down where
it
duction in 1793, the same year could be used for desalting sea-
that he wired Centerville for water to the eventual irrigation
light and power. His first diesel of five million square miles of
locomotivemade its trial run in remarkably dry land.
1796, inwhich year he also con- He built a Think Machine to
verted one of his earlier coal- work out the problems that he
burning steam ships to liquid was too busy to solve, and a
fuel. Prediction Machine to pose him
In 1799 he had wired Phila- new problems and new areas of
delphia for light and power, a breakthrough.
major breakthrough, for the big In 1821, on his birthday, he
cities had manfully resisted the hit the moon with a marker. He
innovations. On the night of the bet a crony that he would be
turn of the centuryhe unhooded able to go up personally one
a whole clutch of new things, year later and retrieve it. And he
in-
wireless telegraphy, the televox, won the bet.
radio transmissionand reception, In 1830 he first put on the
motile and audible theatrical re- market his Red Ball Pipe To-
productions, a machine to trans- bacco, an aromatic and expen-
mit the human voice into print, sive crimp cut made of Martian
and a method of sterilizing and lichen.
Wrapping meat to permit its in- In 1836 he founded the Insti-
definite preservation at any tem- tute for the Atmospheric Reha-
perature. bilitation of Venus, for he found
And in the spring of that new that place to be worse than a
year he first flew a heavier-than- smoke-house. It was there that
air vehicle. he developed that hacking cough
Rainbird 139

with him
that stayed
end of his days.
He synthesized a man of his
own age and disreputude who
would sit drinking with him in
the after-midnight hours and
say, “You’re so right, Higgston,
so incontestably right.”
His plain for the Simplification
and Eventual Elimination of
“What a saddle-galled splay- the finest fellow in the world and
the weather itself he disdained to
till
footed situation to find myself
modify, but he did evolve infalli-
master of the finest sport. If there
never got around to a tenth
ble prediction of exact daily rain-
in! I was earth below the clouds it was
the things I really wanted to
of far away and unimportant.
fall and temperature for decades
do. O, I was smart enough; I The hunting bird came back,
in advance.
just ran up too many blind alleys. climbing the tall air, with a
And he built a retrogressor.
Never found the answers to half pigeon from the lower regions.
the old riddles. Should have built “Forget the bird,” said the old
”
/"VNE
ror
day he looked
and frowned.
in the mir-
the Prediction Machine at the
beginning instead of the end. But
man, “and give a listen with those
outsized ears of yours. I have a
“I never did get around to

mirror. This one

I didn’t know how to build it at lot to tell you in a very little
Government was adopted (in making a better
the beginning. There ought to be while, and then you must devote
modified form) in 1840, a fruit is hideous. However (to consider
a way to get more done. Never yourself to a concentrated life of
of his Political and Economic every possibility) let us weigh
got any advice in my life worth work. Hood the bird and clip
Balance Institute. the thesis that it is the image
taking except from that nutty old him to the stake. Is that bridle-
Yet, for all his seemingly suc- and not the mirror that is hid-
man on the mountain when I clip of your own invention? Ah
cessful penetration of the field, eous.”
was a young man. There’s a lot yes, I remember now that it is.”
he realized that man was the He called up an acquaintence.
of thingsonly started on.
I’ve “I’ll just fly him down once
one truly cantankerous animal, “Say, Ulois, what year is this
Well, every man doesn’t hang, more, old man, and then I’ll have
and that Human Engineering anyhow?”
but every man does come to the a look at what you’re selling.”
of the never- “1844.”
would remain one end of his rope. I never did get “No, no. Hood him at once.
completely-resolved fields. “Are you sure?”
around to making that rope ex- This is your moment of decision.
He made a partial break- “Reasonably sure.”
tensible. And I can’t improve That is a boyishness that you
through in telepathy, starting “How old am I?”
things by talking to myself here must give up. Listen to me, Higg-
with the personal knowledge that “Eighty-five, I think, Higgston.”
about it.” ston, and I will orient your life
shrews are always able .to read “How long have I been an old
He filled his pipe with Red for you.”
the minds of their spouses. He man?”
Ball crimpcut and thought a “I rather intended to orient it
knew that the secret was not in “Quite a while, Higgston, quite
while. myself. How did you get up here,
sympathetic reception, but in ar- a while.”
hung up “But I hill-hopping can im- old man, without me seeing you?
rogant break-in. With the polite Higgston Rainbird
prove things talking to myself How, in fact, did you get up here
it is forever impossible, but he rudely.
there about it.”
“I wonder how I ever let a at all? It’s a hard climb.”
disguised this discovery as polite- Then he turned on his retro- “Yes, I remember that it is. I
ly as he could. thing like that slip up on me?"
gressor and went back and up. came up here on the wings of an
And he worked toward corpo- he said to himself. “I should have
gone on corporeal immortality a invention of my own. Now pay
real immortality and the apotheo- -

earlier. I’ve bungled the V7 OUNG Higgston Rainbird attention for a few hours. It will
sis of mankind, that cantankerous little
whole business now.” was hawking from the top of take all your considerable wit.”
animal.
He fiddled with his Prediction
Devil’s Head Mountain on a “A few hours and a perfect
He designed a fabric that
June afternoon in 1779. He flew hawking afternoon will be gone.
would embulk itself on a temper- Machine and saw that he was to

die that very year. He did not his hawk down through
the white This may be the finest day ever
ature drop, and thin to an airy
clouds, and decided that he was made.”
sheen in summery weather. The seek a finer reading.

RAINBIRD 141
 “I also once felt that it was,
but I manfully gave it up. So
must you.”
“Let me fly the hawk down
again and I will listen to you
while it is gone.”
“But you will only be listen-
ing with half a mind, and the
be with the hawk.”
rest will
But young Higgston flew the
bird down through the shining
white clouds, and the old man
began his rigmarole sadly. Yet
it was a rang-dang-do of a spiel,
a mummywhammy of admoni-
and young
tion and exposition,
Higgston listened entranced and
almost forgot his hawk. The old
man told him that he must stride
half a dozen roads at once, and
yet never take a wrong one; that
he must do some things earlier
that on the alternative had been
done quite late; that he must
point his technique at the Think
Machine and the Prediction Ma-
chine, and at the unsolved prob-
lem of corporeal immortality.
“In no other way can you real-
ample
ly acquire elbow-room,
working time. Time runs out and
life is too short if you let it take
its natural course. Are you listen-
ing to me, Higgston?”
But the hawk came back,
climbing the steep air, and it
had a gray dove. The old man
sighed at the interruption, for
was
he knew that
peril.
his project
142
“Hood the hawk. It’s a sport
for boys. Now listen to me, you
spraddling jack. I am telling you
things that nobody else would
ever be able to tell you! I will
show you how to fly falcons to
the stars, not just down to the
meadows and birch groves at the
foot of this mountain.”
“There is no prey up there,”
said young Higgston.
“There is. Gamier prey than
you ever dreamed of. Hood the
bird and snaffle him.”
just fly him down one
“I’ll
more time and listen to you till
he comes back.”
The hawk went down through
the clouds like a golden bolt
summer
lightning.
'T'HEN the old man, taking the
cosmos, peeled open layer
it
by layer like an onion, and told
young Higgston how it worked.
Afterwards he returned ,to the
technological beginning and he
lined out the workings of steam
and petro and electro-magnetism,
and explained that these simple
powers must be used for a short
interval in the invention of greats
er power. He told him of waves
and resonance and airy transmis-
sion, and fission and flight and
over-flight. And that none of the
doors required keys, only a reso-
lute man to turn the knob and
push them open. Young Higgston
in
was impressed.
GALAXY
Then the hawk came back, wheels are on the inside. But I
climbing the towering air, and can use the gears from it, and
it had a mainbird. the clock, and the copper wire.
The old man had lively eyes, It must have taken weeks to
but now they took on a new hammer that much wire out that
light. fine. I wish I’d paid more atten-
“Nobody ever gives up pleas- tion to what he was saying, but
ure willingly,” he said, “and there he poured it on a little thick. I’d
is always the sneaking feeling have gone along with him on it
that the bargain may not have if only he’d have found a good
been perfect. This is one of the stopping place a little sooner, and
things I have missed. I haven’t hadn’t been so insistent on giving
hawked for sixty-five years. Let up hawking. Well, I’ll just hawk
me fly him this time, Higgston.” here till dark, and if it dawns
“You know how?” clear I’ll be up again in the
“I am an adept. And I once morning. And Sunday, if I have
intended to make a better gaunt- a little time, I may work on
let for hawkers. This hasn’t been my sparker or my chestnut
of improved since Nimrod’s time.” roaster.”
“I have an idea for a better
gauntlet myself, old man.” YTIGGSTON Rainbird lived a
“Yes. I know what your idea long and successful life. Lo-
is. Go ahead with it. It’s practical.” cally he was known best as a
“Fly him if you want to, old hawker and horse racer. But as
man.” an inventor he was recognized
And old Higgston flew the ter- as far as Boston.
cel hawk down through the He is still known, in a limited
gleaming clouds, and he and way, to specialists in the field
young- Higgston watched from and the period: known as con-
the top of the world. And then tributor to the development of
young Higgston Rainbird was the moldboard plow, as the de-
standing alone on the top of signer of the Nonpareil Nutmeg
Devil’s Head Mountain, and the Grater with the safety feature,
old man was gone. for a bellows, for a sparker for
“I wonder where he went? starting fires (little used) and
And where in apple-knockers’ for the Devil’s Claw Wedge for
heaven did he come from? Or splitting logs.
was he ever here at all? That’s He is known for such, and for
a danged funny machine he came no more.
in, if he did come in it. All the — R. A. LAFFERTY
RAINBIRD 143
 WALL OF SERPENTS by L. ences contains: The Molecule;
Sprague de Camp and Fletcher The Proteins; The Cell; The
Pratt. Thomas Bouregy & Co. Microorganism; The Body; The
Species; The Mind.
DECAMP AND PRATT were
far and away the finest team of A DECADE OF FANTASY AND
fantasy collaborators. In their SCIENCE FICTION edited by
present misadventure, Shea and Robert P. Mills. Doubleday &
hisFaerie wife, Belphebe, become Co., Inc.
involved in the land of the Fin-
nish Kalevala and the Ireland of Editor Mills has selected nothing
the hero, Cuchulainn. but full-cut gems from the Mc-
If de Camp’s and Pratt’s heroes Comas-Boucher diamond mine.
and villains alike are usually in- The novelettes: Poul Ander-
effectual and usually likeable, son’s “The Sky People,” a well-
their stories are always chuckle- executed, profound yet action-
filled delights. crammed study of civilization’s
Rating: ****y2 slow resurgence from Atomic af-
termath; “Jordan,” also in Zenna
THE INTELLIGENT MAN’S Henderson’s Pilgrimage; J. Fran-
GUIDE TO SCIENCE by Isaac cis McComas’s “Shock Treat-
Asimov. Two volumes. Basic ment,” the acid test of an en-
Books, Inc. lightened penal code in the first
THE SIRENS OF TITAN by hour once every fifty-five days. A murder case on a raw planetary
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Houghton side result of his tragedy is an SCIENCE FICTION’S loss has frontier; “To Fell a Tree,” by
Mifflin Co. ability to see both past and been science popularization’s Robert F. Young, an alien planet’s
future. As a most peculiar step gain. Dr. Asimov’s style is emi- last 1,000 foot tree and its felling.
and nently readable. His knack makes
VONNEGUT’S BITTER satire toward establishing peace Better by far than any of its
even difficult concepts easily annual predecessors, (not even
isreminiscent in many respects brotherhood, he engineers the
impregnation of his wife, an im- digestible. one Ferdinand Feghoot!) this is a
ofBernard Wolfe’s Limbo. Both
arecrammed full of new ideas yet maculate patrician, by a piggish By far his most ambitious top collection by any standard.
weary with old. Both have sparks wastrel. Project to date, the set isdivided Rating: *****
of humor that turn to ash. The plot, is tangled, intricate into two halves, Physical Sciences

A
weird triangle is the hub of and tortuous and the author man- and Biological Sciences. The THE RIM OF SPACE by A.
the story. The husband, a brave, ufactures mystery and suspense section titles convey some idea of Bertram Chandler. Thomas
wise, charming aristocrat, was de- by the deliberate use of time the scope of his The Uni-
work: Bouregy & Co.
jump and flashback. verse; The Earth; The Atmo-
materialized on an exploration
into a space hazard between Yet the book, though exasper- sphere; The Elements; The Parti- CHANDLER HAS taken the de-

*
cles; The Waves; The Machine; of the Rim Worlds on the
planets. He becomes a sort of ating, is a joy of inventiveness. sire

ghost who materializes for an Rating: ****y2 The Reactor. The Biological Sci- periphery of the Galactic Lens for

144 galaxy SHELF 145

self-determination as moving PILGRIMAGE: THE BOOK OF been in doubt. Avid groups of fans THE PROJECT by Andrew
force of his book. THE PEOPLE by Zenna Hen- and writers have given him a de- Sinclair. Simon & Schuster.
Their commerce coverup for
is derson. Doubleday & Co., Inc. gree of contemporaneity never

a buildup of strength. Their mer-
chant fleet consists of obsolete
tubsmanned by a lost legion of
human retreads, themselves re-
jects from the plush liners of In-
ner World commerce.
All the elements of the salty
sea are in Chandler’s deep space
thriller: the grand-daddy of hurri-
canes, drunken brawling in a port-
DESCRIBED AS Zenna Hender-
son’s first novel, Pilgrimage
tually a compilation of
from F&SF tied loosely together.
“The People” are hunted and
haunted possessors of superhu-
man powers.
Each novelette expands on the
theme, “Different is dead.” The
achieved by any other fictional THE “PROJECT” is the program
character. to develop an undescribed weap-
is ac- In the above volume, Conan on sufficiently powerful to act as
stories Doyle’s oversight in never pen- an utter deterrent to would-be
ning a science-fictional adventure aggressor nations. The book
for his human deduction machine delves into the character of the
has been righted by August Der- weapon’s prime architects and
leth, Anthony Boucher, Mack their movements and actions on
Reynolds, Gordon R. Dickson, the night preceding the final test.
Poul Anderson, H. Beam Piper It is a bitter indictment of the

side joint, burial at space, ship- protagonists involved eventually and John J. McGuire. idiocy that places the means for
wreck and salvage. find emancipation with The The book’s appeal
is limited, utter destruction in the hands of
Art it may not be, but likeable Group, hidden in desert country but special audience will de-
its a few and makes it possible for a
it certainly is. where wild talents can remain rive intense satisfaction. highly placed psychotic to be-
Rating: ***y2 unobserved. Rating: **** come mankind’s executioner.
Rating: **** Rating: ***y2
REACHING FOR THE STARS THINKING MACHINES by Irv-
by Erik Bergaust. Doubleday & THE RUNAWAY WORLD by ing Adler. The John Day Co. THE OUTLAWS OF MARS by
Co. Stanton A. Coblentz. Avalon Otis Adelbert Kline. Avalon
Books. TO THE man in the street, the Books.
WERNHER VON Braun is an word “Computer” conjures up a
extremely controversial figure. AVALON APPEARS deter- vision of a vast electronic monster A GENERATION ago, back in
Despite his stature in our space mined to exhume the remains of busily tended by a horde of hu- Argosy’s heyday, Kline’s serials
program, many Americans have all of Coblentz’s ponderous sa- man ministrators. This was were usually divided into six
never become reconciled to the tires. Number four thus disturbed largely true until the recent past parts. There could easily have
presence of a former enemy and from well-earned oblivion, Run- but miniaturization and simplifi- been twice as many divisions be-
self-admitted Nazi in a most sen- away World plotwise is also cation have reaped such rewards cause Kline’s heroes fluctuated
sitive field. Be that as it may, he stamped from the same heavy- that room-sized and even desk- between soup and frying pan.
has obviously been forgiven by duty die. sized computers are now extant. A non sequitur sequel to The
the top brass and today his enor- Rating: * The layman, however, still would Swordsman of Mars, the new hero
mous energy, knowledge and re- like two questions answered: travels back through space and
sourcefulness are being put to THE SCIENCE-FICTIONAL What does it do and How does it time to Mars of some million
use. SHERLOCK Holmes. The do it? years ago and finds a culturally
Because of von Braun’s single- Council of Four. Adler’s book answers these paradoxical mighty civilization.
purposefulness, the book is more questions in comparatively simple Rating (for an old-fashioned
than just his biography. It is also THE INCOMPARABLE Sher- —
form for someone with a good fairy tale ) : * * *
the history of modem rocketry. lock’s claim to fame has never high school math background. —FLOYD C. GALE

146 GALAXY SHELF 147

 The preacher wasn't what he seemed — and the already he could see the red glow so fitting (she was remarkably
of Parker’s municipal Christmas domestic, when you got to know
girl seemed what she wasn't — but the birds street-decoration project in the her), that he simply didn’t think
southern sky. Well. If the Lord about it. But there were moments,
. . . they were dangerously, terrifyingly reall continued to bless him, and if his like the present, when her
next few sermons had the effect physical immediacy seemed to
he hoped they’d have, he might catch him in the solar plexus.
be able to change the character Then he could only stand and
of Parker’s Christmas celebration. look at her and draw deep, sur-
The Forthright Temple, in Los prised breaths.

Att ©lit if as lmnu^ Angeles, was a long way from

Parker, but his broadcasts were
It wasn’t so much his living
with her, in the technical sense,
receivable here, too. that troubled him. He hadn’t
He went in the kitchen. Mazda even tried to feel guilty about
Itrb was cooking something on the oil
stove, an oil lamp burning dimly
that. It seemed at once so ex-
traordinary and so perfectly
on the table beside her. The natural, that it wasn’t something
kitchen smelled good. his conscience could get a grip
By MARGARET ST. CLAIR
“Hello, Clem,” she said, turn- on. No, it was Mazda’s being
Illustrated by FINLAY
ing to face him. She smiled at in the cabin at all that was the
HE Reverend Clem Adel- O Lord, grant that I

T
burg had come out to cut
some mistletoe. He tucked
the hatchet tightly in the band of
his trousers and shinned up the
knobby trunk of the apple tree.
When he got high enough, he
saw that two ravens were seated
on the apple tree branches, eating
the mistletoe berries. There were
always ravens around the cabin
nowadays; he chased them away
indignantly, with many
whooshes. Then he felt a twinge
of remorse.
“O Lord,” he prayed among
the branches, his face upturned
toward the dramatic cloudscape
servant. him. “Did you get the berries for surprising thing.
wasn’t wrong to chase away those the tea?” Where had she come from,
darned ravens. Yes, Lord.” “Yes, dear.” He handed her the anyhow? He’d gone outside one
He sighted up at the branches. three branches of mistletoe. morning early in September,
He chopped with the hatchet. “Make it good and strong this meaning to walk up and down
Three branches of mistletoe fell time, dear. I just want to see if in the sand while he put the
down on the sheets of newspaper there’s anything in my little idea.” finishing touches on his sermon
he had previously placed at the “About mistletoe being the for next week, and there she had
foot of the tree. He climbed down. common element in all religions? been, sitting quietly under a
It was beginning to get dark. Sure.” Joshua tree.
Mazda would have supper ready. She couldn’t have been there
There was a premonitory rumble TTE watched her as she went to for more than ten minutes. Her
loud and then the sound of Silent fill the teakettle at the sink. skin, as he had come to know
Night, played on an electric xylo- She was a tall woman, with later, was extraordinarily sensi-
phone, filled the sky. masses of puffy ginger hair and a tive to sunlight, and she was wear-
The Reverend Adelburg frown- very fair skin. Her figure was ing the skimpiest Bikini imagin-
ed. The noise must be coming excellent, though rangy, and he able. She’dhave been sunburned
from Parker; the municipal always enjoyed watching her. all overshe’d been there for
if

of an Arizona winter, “O Lord, Christmas tree there would be Most of the time Mazda’s being any length And how had
of time.
bless this little experiment of thy thirty-five feet tall this year, and in the cabin seemed so ordinary, she got there? There’d been no

148 GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED Bl RD CHRISTMAS 149

 — —
any direction, and
sign of a car in
he hadn’t even heard the noise of
you come out with your sermon,
Clem?” she asked.
f Phrases like “star in the dark-
ness,” “the silent night of Bethle-
on the cheek and then she had
seductive shoulders, despite her
—
a plane or a copter in the sky.
Had she walked over from Par-
“Eh? Oh, splendidly. The end- hem,” “pagan glitter,” “corrup- ranginess —
on the upper arm.
ing, I really think, will have an tion,” “perversion,” “true values,” “Mmmmmmmm,” Mazda said.
ker? In a Bikini? Five miles? effect. There are some striking “an old-time America,” “myrrh,” When he had gone into the
|

He knew so little about her passages. The ravens were quite “frankincense” and “1776,” pantry to wash, she looked after
no more now, really, than he had impressed.” He smiled at his little seemed to shimmer in the air him slantingly. Her caramel-
known on that first day when she joke. between them. Mazda listened, colored eyebrows drew together
had said, “Hi,” and gone in the “Ravens?” She turned to face nodding from time to time or in a frown. She had already
house. It wasn’t that she was him. “Were there ravens outside prodding the potatoes in the scalded out the teapot. Now she
close-mouthed or sullen. She just when you were rehearsing your saucepan with a two-tined kitch- reached into the drawer of the
didn’t talk about herself. Once speech?” en fork. kitchen table and drew out a
only, when he had been elaborat- “Yes, indeed. We have ravens handful of what looked like small
ing his idea that the use of mistle- all the time here now. There were A T last he appeared to have mushrooms. They were, as a
toe might be the common element even ravens in the apple tree finished. Mazda nodded for matter of fact, mescal buttons,
behind all religion, had she come when I was cutting the mistletoe.” the last “Um-hum,” she
time;. and she had gathered them last
out with anything that might be Her eyes widened. “Oh .” . . said. “But you know what I think, week from the top of a plant of
a personal remark. He’d spoken she said thoughtfully. Clem? I think you just don’t like Lophophora Williamsii herself.
of the use of mistletoe in classical “I fear Ichased them away a lights. When it’s dark, you want
paganism, in' druidism, in Chris- little too vehemently,” he said, it to be dark. It’s reasonable II
tian festival, in the old
gion, in Zoroastrism
Norse reli- becoming serious. “Ravens, after
are the Lord’s creatures too.”
enough —you’re a different guy
CHE cut them up neatly with a
all, once the sun goes down.”
Her lower lip had begun to “Not those ravens,” Mazda said. “I don’t like the false lights of ^ paring knife and dropped
protrude defiantly. “There’s no There was a very brief pause. modernity,” the Reverend said them the teapot. She put
into
mistletoe in Zoroastrism,” she had Mazda fingered the wooden with a touch of stiffness. “As I the mistletoe berries in on top of
cut in sharply. “I know.” bracelet on her left wrist. Then intend to make abundantly clear the mescal buttons. Then she
Well? It wasn’t much for the she said, “Listen, Clem, I know in my sermon tomorrow.” filled the teapot with boiling
fruit of more than three months. you’ve talked about it, but I “Um-hum. You’re a wonderful water. When
the Reverend got
He couldn’t help wondering guess I’m just dumb. Why are talker. I never thought I’d get back from his washing, the teapot
about Mazda sometimes, though you so down on modern Christ- fond of somebody who didn’t was steaming domestically on the
he didn’t want to fail in Christian mases, anyway?” like light.” table beside the string beans.
charity. But he knew he had his “My dear, if you’d ever attend He
enemies. Could she possibly be a the Temple services
—
” the Rev- said
“I like some kinds of light,”
the Reverend Adelburg. “I self a
said grace
cup
and poured him-
of the tea. “Goodness,
Retail Merchants Association erend Adelburg said in gentle re- like fires.” but it’s bitter,” he observed, sip-
spy? proof. “But I’ll try to make my Mazda drew a deep breath. ping. “Not at all like it was the
point of view, which I humbly “You’d better wash up before first time. What
a difference put-
t| ''HE teakettle was beginning to trust is also the Lord’s point of supper, Clem,” she said. “You’ve ting in more mistletoe has made!”
hum. Mazda gave the pot of view, clear to you.” He began to got rosin on you from the apple Mazda looked down. She
string beans on the stove a stir talk. tree.” passed him the sugar bowl. He
with a wooden spoon. “How did He was an excellent talker. “All right, dear.” He kissed her sweetened the tea lavishly. “You

150 GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 151

haven’t set a cup for
dear,” he said, suddenly solicitous.
“There isn’t much
said to make it strong.”
“Yes, honey, but if there’s any
good in the tea, I want you to
share it. Get another cup.”
He looked across the table at
her, brightly and affectionately.
There was a faint flush in Mazda’s
cheeks as she obeyed.
Supper was over and Mazda
was washing the dishes when the
Reverend Clem said suddenly,
“How fast you’re moving, Mazda!
I never saw anything like the
way you’re getting through those
dishes. I can hardly see your
hands, they’re moving so fast.”
“Fast?” Mazda echoed. She
sounded bewildered. She held up
a spoon and polished its bowl
languidly in the light of the oil
lamp. “Why, I’m not moving fast.
I’ve been standing here by the
sink for hours and hours, wash-
ing one dish. I don’t know what’s
the matter with me. I wish I
could move fast.”
There was a silence. Mazda
had finished the dishes. She took
off her apron and sat down on
the floor, her feet out straight in
front of her. Almost immediately
the Reverend Adelburg slid off
the chair where he had been sit-
ting, and flopped down on the
floor parallel to her. Both their
legs were stretched out.
“What lovely hands you have,
152
yourself, Mazda,” he said. He picked up state of intense wakefulness that Reverend Adelburg was gone, of
one of them from her lap, where succeeds to the drug trance. By course. And there wasn’t a raven
tea. You it was languidly lying, and turned the time the copter came from in sight.
it about admiringly. “Your fingers Los Angeles to take him to the
remind me of the verse in the /"\VER in Los Angeles, the Rev-
Canticles — ‘Fair are my love’s
Temple, a little after eight, he
had bathed, shaved and dressed, erend’s sermon was going
palms as an eel thatfeedeth and was reading over his sermon swimmingly. From his first words,
among lilies. And the coals thereof notes. which had been the arresting
hath a most vehement flame.’ He went into the bedroom sentence, “The lights are going
They’re even colored like eels, where Mazda was lying to bid out again all over the world,” he
purple and gold and silver. Your her good-by. (Sometime during had riveted the attention of his
nails are little dark rainbows. The the night they had managed to listeners as if with stainless steel
Lord bless you, Mazda. I love get to bed.) He bent over and rivets. Even the two troops of
you very much.” kissed her tenderly on her loos- Archer Eagle Scouts in the front
He put his arm around her. ened mouth. “Good-by, dear. Our rows, who, with their scoutmaster
She let her head decline on his little experiment certainly had Joe Buell, were today’s Honor
shoulder, and they both leaned results, didn’t it? But I feel no Guests, had been so fascinated
back against the wall. “Are you ill after-effect, and I trust that that they had stopped twanging
happy, dear?” he asked her an- you will not, either. I’ll be back their bowstrings. The Reverend
xiously. “As happy as I am? Do about eleven tonight.” had swung thunderously from
you have a dim sweet bird sense Once more he kissed her. climax to climax; by now at least
of blessings hovering over you?” Mazda made a desperate effort half his audience had resolved to
“Um-hum,” Mazda answered. to rouse herself from the rose disconnect its radio when it got
It was obviously difficult for her and opal-hued heaven she was home, and throw away the electric
to talk. “Never felt better.” A currently floating in. She licked lights on its Christmas tree. Now
grin zig-zagged across her face. her lips. “Clem .” she said.
. . the Reverend was approaching
“Mu's’ be the mistletoe.” “Yes, dear?” the climax of climaxes.
“Be careful.” “In the sweet night of the spirit,
rT'HE effects of peyote —mescal “Certainly, dear. I always am. bless us, O Lord! Yes, Lord, it’s
button — intoxication are pre- Yes.” —
good to be dark in the sweet
dictable. They run a definite He patted her on the shoulder. silence of the stable let the little
course. None the less, the re- He went out. Even in her para- —
flame of bless us, Lord! —
let the
sponse to a drug
what
is
Thus it was
idiosyncratic.
always some- dise, which was at the moment little flame —My Gosh! Good
blue and silver, she could hear Lord!”
that the Reverend Clem Adel- the noise of the copter as it bore Forthright Temple is venti-
burg, who had drunk enough him away. lated, and partly lighted, by a
peyote infusion to keep a cart Mazda’s drug dreams came to clerestory in the middle part of
horse seeing beatific visions for an end with a bump about twelve the building. Through this clere-
twenty-four hours, reached, about o’clock. She sprang out of bed story eight large black birds flew
six o’clock in the morning, the and ran to the window. The rapidly.
GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 153
 Two of them headed straight ruffled pages and some arrows on “What company is that?” the until late February. People just
for the Reverend Adelburg’s the floor. Reverend asked with innocent much
didn’t use electricity. The
eyes. Four of them attacked the For a few moments the scouts curiosity. He yawned. They had Company didn’t pay any divi-
Temple’s not very bright electric scurried about collecting arrows. been sitting in the tiny living dends at all on its common stock,
lights. The other two made dive Then the Reverend Adelburg room, arguing, for hours, ever and if the same thing happens
after dive on the helpless con- summoned them up to the lec- since he got back from the this year, they’ll have to skip -pay-
gregation’s head. tern, where he was standing. He Temple, and by now it was nearly ments on the preferred! That’s
Women were screaming. Hand- finished his sermon with a troop two o’clock in the morning. why I was sent to stop you at
kerchiefs waved. Hymnbooks of Archer Scouts drawn up on “The PE&G. Why? Did you all costs.”
rocked and fluttered through the either side of him, like a body ever suspect?” “How were you supposed to
air. The organist burst into a guard. “I thought perhaps the Retail stop me?” the Reverend inquired.
Bach chorale. The bewildered “That was a wonderful sermon, Merchants Association sent you. He put the tips of his outstretched
choir began singing two different wasn’t it,” said the lady from Iowa I never understood how you hap- fingers together thoughtfully.
songs. as she and her husband walked pened to be sitting under that “I was supposed to seduce you,
When the ravens had first toward their parked car. “I never Joshua tree.” and then call the broadcasters in.
swooped down upon him, the heard anything like it before. He Mazda laughed scornfully. You know, moral turpitude. But
Reverend Adelburg had dived really spoke better after the birds “The Retail Merchants? Those I convinced them that it wouldn’t
under the From thence
lectern. came in than he did earlier . . .
boffs? Why, I don’t suppose they work. Congregations aren’t so
he was a man who was used to I think tomorrow I’ll go down have more than three secret touchy about things like that
authority —he began shouting town and see if I can get some agents in the whole Los Angeles nowadays. It wouldn’t have
orders to the troops of Archer little oil lamps to burn in the metropolitan area. They couldn’t worked.”
Eagle Scouts in a clarion, sten- patio.” stop a baby from crossing a street “Mazda, how could you?”
torian voice. “Wonder what sort of birds on a kiddy car. Their idea of hot
“Young men! Listen! Shoot at those were,” her husband said tactics is to hire a big newspaper 66T don’t know how could,”
the birds! Shoot — —at the idly. “They were mighty big for ad. Mazda replied with spirit.
I

birds!” crows.” “No, I’m a PE&G girl. been

I’ve “I could have had a nice clean-
There was a very slight hiatus. “Crows! Why, they were one of their top people for years. cut electronics engineer ... or
Then bowstrings began to twang ravens; haven’t you ever seen pic- That’s why I know what you’re one of those cute linemen up on
and arrows to thud. tures of ravens? I wonder what up against.” a pole and then I had to fall
. . .

Eight pagan ravens are no made them go in the Temple. She took an earnest step to- for a Reverend with his collar on
match at all for the legitimate Ravens always seem such old- ward him. “Clem, I don’t think backwards. Somebody ought to
weapons of two troops of Archer fashioned birds.” you have any idea of how serious examine my head.”
Eagle Scouts. The ravens dived this is,” she said. “But they’ll stop The Reverend Adelburg let
valiantly, they cawed and shriek- Ill at They can’t possibly
nothing. this passwithout comment. “What
ed. In vain. Inside five minutes let you get away with it. Why, was the alternate plan?” he
after the shooting started, there 46T betrayed my Company for last December after your old- asked.
remained no trace of the birds’ you,” Mazda said. She hic- fashioned Christmas sermons, promised them I’d keep you
“I
incursus except a black tail coughed with emotion. “I’m a rat. power consumption was off 27% from delivering any more old-
feather floating in an updraft, As far as that goes, you’re a rat all along the whole Pacific slope, fashioned Christmas sermons.
eight or ten hymnbooks with too. We’re both rats.” and it didn’t get back to normal That’s what the peyote was for.”

154 GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 155


“Peyote? When?”
She told him.
“Oh. Then it wasn’t the mistle-
toe,” he said when she had finish-
ed. He sounded rather annoyed.
“No, it wasn’t the mistletoe.
But I guess I didn’t give you
enough peyote. You delivered
the sermon anyway.
“Clem, you think that because
the ravens made that silly attack
on you in the Temple, that
the sort of thing the Company
has up its sleeve. It’s not.
ravens were acting on their
responsibility, and they’re
awfully bright birds. The Com-
pany can do lots better than that
when they want to.”
“What do you think they’ll try
next?” the Reverend inquired. His
jaw had begun to jut out.
“Well, they might try to get
you for moral turpitude after
or stick an income tax evasion
charge on you or accuse you of
dope smuggling. I don’t think
they will. They don’t want to
give you any more publicity.
think they’ll just quietly try to
wipe you out.”
For a moment Mazda’s
command deserted her. She
wrung her hands. “What’m I to
cfo?” she whimpered. “I’ve got to
save you, and you’re as stubborn
as a mule. I don’t know any
—
magic or at least not nearly
enough magic. The whole Com-
pany will be against me
156
pany, like I was, you hear all the Joshua tree. They were going
as the ravens are sure I ratted
on them. And there’s just no
sorts of stories about it for — in- to take me back to headquarters
—
stance, that responsible for
it’s by air raft. If it
place in the world today for any-
maintaining the difference in po-
body who’s in conflict with the
tential between the earth and the 64TS that how you got here in
PE&G. -* the first place?” the Rever-
ionosphere, or that the weather
“I wish hadn’t been such a
I
on Venus is a minor Nous pro- end inquired. “By air raft?”
dope as to fall in love with you.”
ject— stuff like that. I’ve even “Yes. As I was saying, if I’d
T'HE Reverend Clem
r Adelburg
heard agents say that Nous is G done that, the Company would
got up from the chair where
—but believe
I don’t that. I know have accepted that my failure
about Mithras, myself.” with the peyote was just a mis-
he had been sitting and put his
“I thought the PE&G made its take. But I didn’t do it. I couldn’t
that’s arm around her. “Cheer up, my
own power,” said the Reverend. bear to leave a chump like you
dear,” he told her solemnly. “We
He was still struggling with the all alone to face the Company,
The will defeat the company. Right
first part of Mazda’s remarks. and by now they must be begin-
own is on our side.”
Mazdalaughed. “I don’t mean ning to realize that I’ve ratted
not Mazda gave a heroic sniffle.
any disrespect to the Company, on them. It won’t be very long
She smiled at him mistily. “It’s
but what makes you think that? before the real trouble begins.
not just the PE&G, of course,”
The Company’s a bad opponent, “Now, listen. There are two
she said. “Sometimes I think they
but outside of that, witchcraft, things you can do. The best one
have agents everywhere.”
or sorcery, or ravens, is all they’re would be for you to go outside
“Not the PE&G?” the Reverend
capable of. and talk to the ravens. If you
cried.He let his arm fall from
“All the really hot develop- promise them on your word of
around her. He had a sudden
ments in power, the electronic honor as a Christian gentlemen
all, nightmare vision of a whole
world united against him — stuff, comes from after 3,000 A.D.
Nobody in the present has brains
that you won’t deliver any more
anti-light sermons —
I can’t see
world in which the clouds sema-
enough to work out a germanium why you don’t like light, anyhow;
phored secrets about him to the
dolphins the Pacific
in waves.
transistor, example. Nous
for light’s wonderful —
if you promise
helps them. People nowadays are them that, they’ll let you go.” She
I “What is it, then?”
dopes. They can’t work buttons paused hopefully.
“Why, it’s Nous.”
on pants, or open a package of The Reverend gave her a look.
“I never heard of it.”
chewing gum unless there’s a “Well,” said Mazda. “Then
self “Very few people have. But
paper ribbon to help them. we’ll have to make a break for
Nous, Infinite, is the company
“That’s beside the point, really.
from which the PE&G gets its
it.
The thing I’m trying to make “While you were in the wash-
power.
clear, Clem, is that Nous is a bad room, I called the Temple copter.”
“Nous is a very strange outfit.
outfit tocome up against. She indicated the short-wave
It operates on the far side of 3,000
A.D., and selling power is only
at
was supposed to go outside
“I
this morning and
one-thirty
radio on the other side of the
little stone fireplace. “It’ll be here
one of the things it does. When
as soon you’re a top agent for the Corn-
have the ravens pick me up under —
any minute. I think well, we’ll
GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 157
 and “
try to get through,” she said with- moment the room was utterly the hearth. It was very detached itself. ’Llo, Mazda,” a
out much hope. Then there was a soft flurry
quiet. , bright, and accompanied by a harsh voice said.
The Reverendlooked at her in and plop window.
at the sizzling noise. A second later a “Hello,” she replied. There was
silence for a moment. Fatigue had The ravens, after all, were not sharp chlorine-like smell filled a glitter of beady eyes in the
made shadows under her eyes, deaf. They too had heard the the air. darkness around her. “Listen here,
but they only made her look Reverend’s prayers. Mazda’s artificial lightning died you birds,” Mazda said slowly,
glamorous and desirable. She had Mazda spun round toward the away. The room returned to its “we’ve always
been on good
never been more beautiful. She sound. Before she could decide '
normal dim illumination. A faint terms, haven’t we? We’ve always
had betrayed her company for what to do, there was a series of curl of smoke floated above the got on together well. Are you
[

him; he loved her more than ever. tinkles from the chimney. It pieces of broken glass on the really trying to do me and my
He gave her a hug. ended in a glassy crash. Some- hearth of the fireplace. There was boy friend in?”
“Nix, my dear,” he said. “Nix.” thing had broken on the stone no doubt that Mazda had puri- A bird cleared its throat. There
“N-n-n-n-?” hearth. fied the germ culture effectively. was a noise of talons being shifted
“Nix. Never.” His voice rang Mazda screamed. But the Reverend Clem Adel- uneasily. “Well ... no, Mazda.
out,booming and resonant. “Run “Keep back!” she yelled at the burg was stretched out on the We like you too,” somebody said.
away from those devils and their Reverend, who had turned from floor flat on his back. “Oh, yes? Is that why you
ravens? Flee from those pagan the radio and was leaning for- dropped the parrot-fever bomb?
night-lighters? Never! I will not.” ward interestedly. “Keep back! 1%/fAZDA ran to him. She tore Were you going to drop a dead
He advanced toward the radio. Don’t breathe! Damn those birds!” open
his white shirt front and parrot down the chimney and
“What are you going to do?” She was fumbling wildly with laid her head on his chest. His make it look as if we’d died a
Mazda squeaked. the wooden bracelet on her left heart was still beating, and his natural death? I wouldn’t call
“I’m going to contact the TVA,” wrist. hands and feet were warm. But that bomb exactly a friendly
he said without turning. “You
have to fight fire with fire.”
‘What is it?” he asked. He he was completely out outer — thing.”
advanced a step toward the shards than any of the neon lights he “The bomb was just a warn-
“Public power?” Mazda breath- of glass on the hearth. had been trying to put out. ing,” said the harsh voice that had
ed. Her face was white. “Get back. It’s a germ culture Mazda got up, rubbing
her spoken first. “We knew you’d
“Public power! Their line will bomb. Parrot fever. I’m going to hands. She couldn’t move him, purify it. We have confidence in
be open all night.” purify it. Stand back!” and she didn’t know what she you. We don’t want to do you
He turned his face toward the The Reverend Adelburg dis- ought to do for him. She hoped any harm personally. You can
rafters. “O Lord,” he boomed counted most of this warning as he’d be all right. She knew he always get another boy friend.”
reverently, “bless this radio mes- due to feminine hysteria. He had strong She
a constitution. “I want this one.”
sage. Please, Lord, grant that in drew back a fraction of an inch, went into the kitchen and got a “You’ve had better ones.”
contacting a radical outfit like the but still remained leaning for- towel. “Yes, I know. But this is the
TVA I’m doing aright.” ward. his eyes fixed on the glass. She came back with it and one I want.”
Mazda gave a moan of despera- tied it to the poker. Carrying There was a silence. Then a
IV tion. “I’ve got to do it!” she yelled. this home-made flag of truce in bird said, “We’re sorry, Mazda.
She slid her bracelet toward her front of her, she opened the door We only do what we’re sent out
hthe noise of prayer died away elbow and gave it a violent twist. and went out into the night. to do.”
in the ceiling. He pressed a A strictly vertical flash of light- It was a dark night. From under Mazda drew a sharp breath.
key and turned a switch. For a ning appeared between the ceiling the Joshua tree a darker shadow “Hell’s Canyon,” she said deliber-

158 GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 159

ately. “Rural electrification coop- yesterday, and began burning
eratives. Public power." them under the Reverend’s nose.
At seven minutes to three the

THERE was a sound as of some-

body’s tail feathers being
plucked distractedly. “Mazda, I
wish you wouldn’t,” said the
chief raven in a wincing voice.
“I will, though. I’ll get in touch
with the public power people. I
don’t care about the ethics of it.
I’m in love.”
“Haw!” the raven jeered
Reverend’s eyelids fluttered and
the noise of a copter was heard
in the sky. Mazda listened with
strained attention, her eyes fixed
on her consort. She longed to
run to the window, but she was
afraid of alerting the ravens. She
could only wait.
The copter appeared to be
having difficulties. The whoosh of

harshly. It seemed to have re- its helix changed pitch, the motor

gained its aplomb. “That light-
ning flash of yours burned out
every tube in the radio. You
couldn’t send a message to Parker
to ask for a stick of chewing gum.
You’re through.
“We’ll give you half an hour.
During any of that time you can
stuttered and coughed. Once the
noise seemed to recede; Mazda
was afraid the plane was going
away entirely. She fingered her
wooden blast bracelet nervously.
But the copter returned. It landed
with a thump that was almost a
crash.

come out unhurt. But after that The copter door opened and
too. This time somebody jumped out. There was
you’re in for it
a sound of squawks, caws and
we’re serious.”
‘What are you going to do?” rapid fluttering. A vigorous male
Mazda cried. voice said, “Ouch! Ouch! Birds!
“You’ll find out.” What the bloody hell!” More
Mazda went back to the house. fluttering. Then sandaled feet
The clock on the mantlepiece thudded rapidly along the path.
read twenty minutes to three. Somebody pounded at the door.
The ravens would probably give
her a few minutes’ grace, so she
had until ten or twelve minutes
M AZDA ran to open
man who stumbled
the threshold was a dark, stocky
it. The
across

after the hour. Mazda knelt down

by her consort and began to chafe
his hands. When that didn’t help,
she ran to the kitchen, got a
handful of red feathers from the
chicken they had had for lunch
Indian who wore white duck
pants and red glasses, and carried
a three-foot bow slung across his
back. He was bleeding freely from
half a dozen peck marks on his

160
GALAXY
 shoulders and breast.
Mithras,” Mazda
said prayerfully,
“it’s Joe Buell! Joe!”
“Mazda! Why didn’t you show
a light? What are you doing here?
What is all this?”
Mazda told him. Joe listened
intently, frowning more and
more. “My word, what a mess,”
he said when she had finished. He
pushed his red glasses up on his
nose. “Has the Reverend come to
yet?”
They turned around. Clem’s
eyes were open, but he was still
lying on the floor. As they
watched, he slowly closed his eyes
again. “I guess he’s not ready yet,”
Mazda
said.
She looked at the clock. It
showed two minutes to three.
“Let’s get him up and walk him,”
she said harriedly. “It might
help him to get back to normal.
Oh, Mithras, how late it is!”
The Reverend Adelburg was
limp and slippery, but they man-
aged to get him to his feet. As
they guided his rubbery footsteps
about the room, Mazda said, “I
haven’t seen you since you were
in Canada, Joe. Those nights in
Saskatchewan! I didn’t know you
were one of the Reverend’s men.”
“Since 1965,” Joe answered
briefly.
“How come?
thought you
I voice.
danced Shalako at the pueblo one
year.”
“I did. But you should see
162
“Lord Halonawa now. There’s a red and
blinked her eyes and shook her motor gave a cough and started.
purple neon sign twenty feet high
over the plaza. It reads, “Welcome
head defiantly. “He hurt his head Mazda was trembling with excite-
to Halonawa, Home when he fell, that’s all. He’ll be ment, but she followed Joe’s in-
of the Shal-
all right later. He’s got to be all structions. Slowly the copter rose.
ako.’ After that I joined up with
right. And he may really be easier She had put on the red glasses
the Rev. A nice dark Christmas
to handle this way than if he before they left the house. As her
seems a wizard idea.”
wasn’t goofed. He’s a stubborn eyes grew used to the darkness,
He plainly didn’t want to pur-
man.” she made out the glimmer of the
sue the subject further. Mazda
Joe had gone over to the table river in front of her and the flat
said, “If the Reverend revives in
and was putting out the lamp. He surface of Parker dam. She
time, what’ll we do?” I
handed his red glasses to Mazda. wanted to go west, toward Los
“Can you pilot a copter?”
“I can drive a
“Makes piloting easier,” he said. Angeles. The copter climbed a
car.”
“A Then he opened the window on She tried to turn.
little.
copter’s really easier.” He the and swung himself out of
left Wings whizzed by her. Mazda
gave her directions. “The motor’s
missing a little, but I don’t think
it. He gave a high, passionate grinned. She twisted the blast
battle cry. There was a rush of bracelet on her wrist. The tiny
you’ll have any trouble. Orient
feathers and some frenzied receptor within it vibrated. There
yourself by Parker and the dam.
squawking. Joe’s bow began to was a flash of light, and the bird
The dam’s just north of us.
“If the Rev comes to in time,
twang. plummeted to the ground.
make a break for it with him
Mazda grabbed the Reverend When it hit the sand there was
in
by the hand. “Nice Christmas,” a faint concussion. The floor of
the plane. I’ll create a diversion
she hissed. “Come along.” Bent the copter shuddered. After a
by climbing out the window and
forward, one arm raised to shield second the smell of almond ex-
shooting at those bloody birds. I
her eyes, she pulled him after her tract tinged the air.
owe them some arrows, at that.”
“I wish I knew what they had
at a run toward the door. The bird had been carrying a
The night had grown darker. cyanide bomb.
in mind,” Mazda said.
The sky was heavily overcast. Mazda sent the copter a little
None the less, she could make out higher. Her mind was a kaleido-
V
the improbable shape of the scope oftumbling fears. The
copter. “Hurry!” she said to Clem possibility of more bombs, of ex-
A T
five minutes after three the
Adelburg. “Run!” plosive bombs, of a kamekazi
Reverend’s willow-withy body
Wings buffeted around her. attack on the copter’s propeller,
stiffened. His eyes opened. He
Claws struck at her face, her played leap-frog in her brain. And
raised his head and looked about
cheeks, her hair. The Reverend what about Joe? Dear Joe, he’d
him. “What a lovely day,” he said
Adelburg gave a cry of pain; been wonderful in Saskatchewan.
in a pleasant, conversational
Mazda had to use her free arm Had they got him yet?
to wipe her own blood from her She looked back anxiously at
Mazda’s face puckered. For a
eyes. Then they were in the copter the cabin. Joe had vaulted up
moment she seemed about to
and the door was slammed. on the roof and was standing
burst into wild tears. Then she
She turned the switch. The with one foot planted on either
GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 163
side of the ridge pole, like a Zuni
Heracles. The thick clouds be-
hind him had begun to be tinged
with light from the rising moon;
she could see that though his bow
was ready and he had an arrow
drawn nearly back to his ear he
wasn’t shooting. His eyes were
fixed intently on the sky.
She followed the direction of
his gaze. Very high up, so high
that they looked no bigger than
crows, seven of the big black
birds were flapping rapidly north-
ward in single file.
f^OR the next five minutes or so
nothing at all happened. The
copter plodded steadily westward
toward Los Angeles, down low,
along the line of the aqueduct.
This apparent quiescence on the
part of her opponents unnerved
Mazda more than a direct attack
would have done. She couldn’t
believe that the PE&G would let
her and Clem escape so easily.
Suddenly along the sky
of her there passed a vast flash
For an instant the desert
of light.
was as bright and white as day.
Then the darkness closed
again and thunder crashed.
Mazda’s hands shook on the
controls. The storm that was com-
ing up might, of course, be merely
a storm. Or it might have been
sent by the Company. But if
Nous . but if Nous
. . but if
. .
Nous, that enormous and some-
164
how enigmatic power that oper- mouthed, saw that the copter ceil- on her arm, inhaled, and swal-
ated from the far side of 3,000 ing was beginning to bulge. lowed. “Alameda, Alpine, Ama-
A.D. ... if Nous had decided to
stretch out its arm against her
The downpour —the cataract dor, Butte,” she said carefully.
stopped as suddenly as it had Nothing happened. She cleared
and Clem, there wasn’t a chance begun. There was a minute of her throat and began again, a
in the world that she and the dazed silence in the cabin. Then couple of notes lower. “Alameda,
Reverend would continue to live. Mazda, pushing hard against the Alpine, Amador, Butte.” There
There was another prodigious door in the warped copter body, was a faint click. “Calaveras,
lightning flash. The desert, the got it open and scrambled out. Colusa, Contra Costa, Del Norte,
aqueduct, a line of power poles, a Fresno —
small square building, burned T^HE copter was deep in the The door swung wide. Mazda’s
themselves on Mazda’s eyes. sand. One blade of the pro- enumeration of the counties of
When darkness came back the peller had been broken off en- Californiahad worked. She took
Reverend, who had been sitting tirely. The other hung limply the Reverend by the hand and
quite calmly and quietly beside parallel to the shaft. led him through the opening.
Mazda all this time, stirred. Mazda stood shivering. She “Stanislaus, Sutter, Tulare, Tuo-
“Wonderful fireworks,” he said took off her red glasses absently lomne, Ventura, Yuba, Yolo,” she
approvingly. and dropped them on the sand. said. The door closed.
Mazda’s eyes rolled. “Clem, The sky had cleared. The moon It was much darker inside the
baby,” she said despairingly, was almost up. She reached in- substation than it had been out-
She looked around
“what’ll I do?” side the cabin and caught Clem side on the white desert, and the
as if hunting an answer. Then Adelburg by the wrist. “C’mon,” air was filled with a high hum-
the bottom of the heavens she said. She had seen a building, ming that sounded, and actually
dropped out. just before the cloudburst. They was exceedingly dangerous.
The heaviest precipitation re- might be able to take cover in Mazda put her arm around Clem’s
corded to date in a cloudburst is that. shoulders. “Don’t move, baby,”
two and a half inches in three She struggled over the sand she said pleadingly. “Don’t touch
in front minutes. What fell on the copter with the Reverend following anything. Stay close to Mazda
now was heavier. Inside of two docilely at her heels. The build- and be quiet.”
seconds after the avalanche of ing, once reached, turned out to The Reverend coughed. “Cer-
water had begun to pour from be a Company substation, and tainly, my dear,” he said in quite
down the sky the copter was down flat Mazda felt a touch of hope. She a normal voice, “but would you
on the ground, as if it had been could get in, despite the Danger mind telling me where we are?
pushed into the sand by a giant and No admittance signs, and the And what has been happening?”
hand. ravens might be deterred, even if
The noise inside the cabin was only slightly, by their respect for ly/fAZDA went as limp as if she
deafening. It was like being a Company property. had been coshed on the head.
dried pea shaken within a drum. The substation door would She clung to him and babbled
. It beat along the body like ham- open to a verbal signal. Mazda with relief, while the Reverend
mers. Mazda, looking up open- twisted her blast bracelet twice stroked her soothingly on the hair
GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 165
 not be transported to the PE&G’s Mazda were looking upward
and tried to make sense out of the Company to send them out
cellars. Bless us, O Lord. Preserve frozenly, mouths open, necks out-
her babbling. but once before. Those lumps on
us. And help us to make thine stretched. Then a gigantic hand
“Yes, my dear,” he said when their backs are portable nous pro-
old-fashioned Christmas a living reached in through the hole in the
she had finally finished. “Do you jectors. They’re trying to tele-
reality. Amen, O Lord. Amen!” roof. A gigantic voice, even bigger
hear a noise outside?” port us.”
Mazda, too, was praying. Hands than the hand, said in enormous
“What sort of a noise?” “Teleport us? Where to?”
and somehow Oxonian accents,
“A sort of whoosh.” “To — to the Company’s cellars.
clasped over her diaphragm, head

Mazda drew in her breath. —

Where they attend to people
bowed, lips moving silently, she
besought her bright divinity.
“Very well. Take your old-fash-
ioned Christmas, then.”
“Shin up to the window and look who believe in public power.
out,” she ordered. “Look out espe- — —
They oh I can’t talk about it,
“Mithras, lord of the morning,
slayer of the bull of darkness, TT was just before sunrise on
cially for birds.” Clem.”
preserve my love and me. Mith- ^December 21st. The Christians,
He was at the high, narrow She crouched down at his feet
and picked up a bobby pin. “Don’t
ras, lord!” who would be strangled at dawn
window only an instant before
Prayer is a force. So is magic. the next day and then burned in
he let himself down. “There was move,” she said without looking
So is the energy from nous pro- honor of the solstice, were gib-
only one raven,” he reported, up. “Try not to think.”
jectors. These varying forces met bering away in their wicker cages.
“but there were a number of
and collided in mid air. There were three cages full of
birds like hawks, with short CJHE began to scratch a diagram
The made
collision a sort of them. Great progress was being
wings. There seemed to be humps ^around him on the floor with vortex, a small but uncomfortable made in stamping out the new
on their backs.” the pin. He coughed. “Don’t
knot in the vast, conscious field heresy. The Christians would
Even in the poor light of the cough,” she cautioned him. “It
potential that is the Infinite part make a fine bright blaze.
substation Mazda visibly turned might be better to hold your
of Nous. There was momently an The druid looked up at the
green. “Goshawks!” she gasped. breath.”
intense, horrible sense of pressure cages, which were hanging from
Then she began taking off her The Reverend’s lungs were
and tension in the very air. The the boughs of three enormous oak
clothes. aching before she got the diagram
substation hummed ominously. trees, and nodded with satisfac-
Dress, slip, panties went on the done. She eyed it a moment and
Then, with a burst of energy that tion. His consort, Mahurzda,
floor.She stood on one foot and then spat carefully at four points
blew out every generator from would find it a hard job strangling
removed her sandals alternately. within the hexagram. A faint
Tacoma to San Diego, the roof so many pedple. He’d have to
She began going through her hair bluish glow sprang up along the
came off. help her. It would be a pleasant
and pulling out bobby pins. She lines shehad traced on the floor.
took off her blast bracelet and Mazda rose to her feet. “It’ll
(The PE&G crews worked task.
overtime on the repairs, but there Once more he nodded. He
added it to the heap. hold them for a few minutes,” she
were too many wrecked genera- tested the edge of the sickle he
“What are you doing that for?” said. “After that . .
.”
tors. Allalong the Pacific slope, was carrying. Then the druid who
the Reverend inquired. It seemed The Reverend
to him a singularly ill-chosen
raised his eyes
and as far inland as Provo, Utah, —
had been would be would will —
time.
to the rafters. “I’m going to pray,”
he announced. He filled his lungs.
it was as dark a Christmas as —
have been the Reverend Clem
even the Reverend would have Adelburg hoisted up his long
“I’m trying to set up a counter- “O Lord,” he boomed power-
wished.) white robe and clambered up in
charm, and I have to be naked fully, “we beg thy blessing to
There was a pause. The noise the nearest of the oak trees to
to do it.” Her voice was wobbling preserve me and Mazda from the
badly. “Those birds those birds— power of the ravens. We beg thy
of breaking
The Reverend
timbers died away.
Adelburg and
cut the sacred mistletoe.
— MARGARET ST. CLAIR
are goshawks. I’ve never known blessing to help us stay here and

166 GALAXY AN OLD FASHIONED BIRD CHRISTMAS 167

 ULES VERNE’S 20,000 source of power. In none of these

J Leagues under the Sea was

published in Since
1869.
technical
take
situation
advantage
did Verne
of knowledge
then we have heard a great deal readily available to him at the
about the excellence of the sci- time. It is he sat in his chair
as if

ence, speculation and prediction
it contains. People seem to feel
that Verne’s sound scientific spec-
ulation makes the novel good
science fiction, even though they
may not care much for
straight story.
But these days the waters are
full of SCUBA divers. (The word
“SCUBA,” as most people are be-
ginning to know, is made by tak-
ing the first letter in each word of
the phrase “Self-Contained Un-
derwater Breathing Apparatus.”)
SCUBA divers carry their own air
down into water as deep as three
hundred feet in lakes,
streams, rivers, bays, quarries and
caves all over the world. There is
and dashed off his concepts with-
out bothering to get up and check
facts that must have been in
books in the same room with him.
He spun his yarn from the mate-
it as a rial in his head. And there you
have a clue to the real value of
the novel.
Verne was a mighty story-tel-
ler. His science was bad, his
speculation absurd, and even his
plot and his characters might be
poor. No matter. Put them all to-
gether with the magic of Verne’s
story-telling ability, and some-
thing flames up. A story emerges
oceans, that sweeps incredulity before it.
TT is a very difficult thing to

a rash of books on the subject, read this novel in a hostile

and many SCUBA
THE WAT EE Y WONDEES divers
fairly well-versed in the history of
man’s descent beneath the water.
are frame of mind, looking
blunders, noting
for the
all the scientific

misinformation. For one thing,

OF CAPTAIN NEMO When

critical
a SCUBA diver takes a
look at 20,000 Leagues
Verne uses a nifty device for pre-
senting much of the so-called
under the Sea, a new interpreta- scientific data in the novel. He
By THEODORE L. THOMAS
tion of the novel emerges. will have one of the characters,

This isn't fiction.

The novel isn’t at all what liter- say the narrator, Professor Aron-
ary critics have said it is. nax, poised on the brink of some
It concerns the legends all of us have heard about The
diving gear and the diving exciting event, and then he will
the uncanny predictions of J. Verne, Esq. scenes are technically pretty bad, ladle in the scientific nonsense.
behind the times even for 1869. In this posture of the story, who
Most of them are! The submarine Nautilus itself is stops to think about science?
out of date for 1869, with the sole Verne can get away with almost
exception that electricity is the anything, and he does.

THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO 169

 The power of Verne’s story-
shows up in another
telling ability
odd way. After reading the novel,
people remember things from it
that are not there. The impres-
sion that the novel contains valid
scientific prediction seems to
grow as the years roll by. Re-
cently, a United States Patent
Office official received an inter-
esting inquiry. Was it true that a
patent examiner had rejected the
patent application of an inventor
of a new periscope because of the
periscope described by Jules
Verne in 20,000 Leagues under
the Sea? Well, the fact is that
Verne is totally silent on the sub-
ject of periscopes in the novel.
The Nautilus had no periscope.
Another mis-remembered de-
scription concerns the storage bat-
teriesused aboard the Nautilus.
There are none. The only time
Verne specifically mentions a bat-
tery isin connection with diving
dress; Captain Nemo says the bat-
tery makes out of
electricity
sodium instead of the usual bi-
chromate of potash. The novel
leaves readers with the impres-
sion that it is a storehouse of ad-
vanced technology, and the im-
pression grows as the reader ages.
(It would be interesting to find
out how many adults reread it
after having read it in their teens.
Libraries tend to carry it in the
section for younger readers.)
Probably the best parts of the
170
novel are those which describe the
activities of the characters as they
roam on the bottom of the sea in
their SCUBA gear. Verne was not
concerned with many of the dan-
gers guarded against by modern
SCUBA divers, things like air em-
bolism, nitrogen narcosis and the
bends. That’s all right. Diving was
not sufficiently far advanced for
these things to be of concern. It
wasn’t until the 1870s that the
Frenchman Paul Bert completed
the 1660 work of the Englishman
Robert Boyle. Bert put out a book
on diving physiology describing
how nitrogen can bubble out of a
diver’s blood when
the diver
comes up too fast. Bert was the
man who pointed out the ways to
avoid the bends. The diver could
recompress in a chamber at the
surface in order to relieve the
pressure slowly and at will, or the
diver could come up slowly and
in stages. Both of these systems
allowed the excess nitrogen in the
blood to be thrown off in the ex-
haled air. Verne could not pos-
sibly know about such things,
and the lack of discussion of such
diving dangers in the novel can-
not be held against him.
HPHE SCUBA used by Captain
Nemo and his crew has long
been held up as a good example
of Verne’s ability to forecast sci-
entifically. Even Verne himself in
his later years forgot that Captain
GALAXY
Nemo says, when he first de-
scribes the diving apparatus to
Professor Aronnax, “It is to use
the Rouquayrol apparatus, in-
vented by two of your own coun-
trymen, which I have brought to
perfection for my own use.” The
two “countrymen” are Rouquay-
rol, a mining engineer, and Den-
ayrouze, a Navy officer. Their
SCUBA gear was in use in 1865,
four years before Verne published
his novel. In the actual gear, an
air hose ran from a compressor on
the surface down to a tank car-
A second
ried on the driver’s back.
hose ran from the tank to a
mouthpiece through which the
diver breathed. Some kind of
valve on the tank fed the com-
pressed air to the mouthpiece at
a pressure about equal to the
pressure of the water at that
depth. Once the diver’s tank was
charged, the diver could unplug
the hose that ran to the surface
and freely walk around a bit using
the air in his tank. He could then
return to the hose and plug in
again for another charge of air.
Apparently Verne had heard
about the gear, although toward
the end of his life he insisted he
had dreamed about it. For use in
the novel, he made some changes
in the gear without bothering to
check the gear itself, or even to
think much about it. For one
thing, Captain Nemo says, “I, in
encountering great pressures at
THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO
the bottom of the sea, was obliged
to shut my head, like that of a
diver, in a ball of copper.” This
was nothing new, either. The
closed-helmet diving dress had
been in steady use since its inven-
tion by Augustus Siebe in 1840
... a diving dress so good that
nothing more than refinements
have been added to it to this very
day. Verne adds an innovation to
the helmet in the novel. “In the
Rouquayrol apparatus such as
we use, two india-rubber pipes
leave this box and join a sort of
tent which holds the nose and
mouth; one is to introduce fresh
air, and the other to let out the
foul, and the tongue closes one
or the other according to the
wants of the respirator.”
Apparently Verne was not
aware of the existence of check
valves, so he requires that the
diver use his tongue to control the
incoming and outgoing air. Yet
check valves were in use in the
Siebe diving helmet 29 years
earlier, in 1840. Verne simply did
not bother to get out of his chair
and check. On top of that, he for-
gets that his SCUBA gear has no
check valves. On that first walk
on the bottom of the sea, Profes-
sor Aronnax, Captain Nemo, Con-
seil and one of the crew were out
under the water for a total of ten
hours. Toward the end of that
walk they all get sleepy and take
a little nap. Things have been
171

happening so fast and furiously
that both Verne and the reader
alike forget that Verne’s
gear demands that the tongue al-
ternately pop into and out of the
two breathing tubes, a good trick
when one is asleep.
f T'HEN there is the matter of air
consumption. The
SCUBA exhausts
diver each
breath into the water, except in
the rarely-used rebreather types
of diving gear. Verne properly
saw that air does not last very
long when you breathe it once
and blow it out into the water, so
he said that his divers would
breathe the same air over and
over. Each diver would carry a
tank of air charged by “the
pumps of the Nautilus” to a pres-
sure of “fifty atmospheres.” The
71.2 cubic foot tank of a modern
SCUBA diver is charged to a
pressure of 153 atmospheres, and
most of us run in a little more.
Such a charge will last for 25
minutes at a depth of 100 feet.
Verne needed to keep
going for ten hours.
Early in the novel Professor
Aronnax points out that a man
“consumes, in one hour, the oxy-
gen contained in more than 176
pints of air, and charged
this air,
(as then) with a nearly equal
quantity of carbonic acid, be-
comes unbreathable.” (The
French version of the novel states
172
the quantity of air as 100 liters;
this accounts for the odd preci-
SCUBA sion of the equivalent in British
pints.)
In ten hours, Verne’s
would each need 1760 pints
This converts into 0.71 cubic feet
of air at the specified 50 atmos-
pheres, assuming air to be a per-
modem fect gas, and is a nice convenient
quantity to carry on one’s back.
It weighs about 2.59 pounds, and
it contains only about 0.54
pounds of oxygen. Professor
Aronnax also says about the air
they will breathe during the dive,
“when it only contains fifteen per
cent of oxygen, it is no longer fit
to breathe.” This leaves a total of
0.15 pounds of consumable oxy-
gen for each man for a ten-hour
period, about one-tenth the oxy-
gen needed by a 150-pound man
engaged in very mild exercise at
atmospheric pressure. This
would also generate 1.25
of carbon dioxide in a ten-hour
period, producing with the
pints of air an atmosphere con-
his divers taining about 48.3 per cent car-
bon dioxide. This would
kill him.
If the 0.54 pounds of oxygen
available in the tank were con-
verted to carbon dioxide, the
diver’s atmosphere would
contain 20.8 per cent
dioxide, enough to kill quickly.
carbon dioxide concentration of
6 per cent causes distress,
GALAXY
per cent produces unconscious- able pressure” at all. In fact, the
ness. which Verne
suit is quite flexible,
There are other interesting vague sort of way.
realizes in a
details about the breathing Not understanding this principle
arrangements of Verne’s divers. of the balancing of pressures, he
divers
Exhaled air goes back into the feels compelled to offer some ex-
of air.
portable tank on the diver’s back planation of how a diver can exist
so it can be used again. But the under great water pressure in a
tank is stated to be maintained at flexible suit. So he talks about the
a pressure of 50 atmospheres. We suit’s “resisting.”
are not told how
a human being In one scene Professor Aron-
could exhale into a
possibly nax is looking out the great win-
chamber maintained at such a dow in the saloon of the Nautilus.
high pressure. In any case, one The Nautilus is deep, and the
passage of air through human Professor sees a sunken ship sus-
lungs reduces the oxygen content pended in mid-water. It had sunk
to about 15 per cent, at which to a depth where its density
point Verne says, pretty cor- equaled the water density, and
rectly, it is no longer fit to there it hung, according to Verne.
breathe. The good Professor says, “we
often saw the hulls of ship-
"INTERNE frequently mentions wrecked vessels that were rotting
’ water pressure throughout in the depths, and, deeper down,
the novel. If you look for it, it cannons, bullets, anchors, chains
becomes apparent that Verne has and a thousand other iron mate-
man
no clear idea of the effects of rials eaten up by rust.” What he
pounds
water pressure on immersed ob- means is, heavier objects come to
jects, or even how diving gear of rest suspended in water at depths
1760
any kind works. The diving dress deeper than light objects. Verne
for his divers is “made of india- believes that sinking objects all
rubber without seam, and con- seek their own levels in the
swiftly
structed expressly to resist con- depths, each according to its dens-
siderable pressure. One would ity, and there they hover.
have thought it a suit of armor, As a matter of fact, water is
both supple and resisting.” incompressible for all practical
Verne therefore does not know purposes; its density does not
still
that the air pressure inside the change much in the oceans. At the
carbon
suit balances the water pressure deepest parts of the oceans, at
A —
outside the suit, and that the suit depths of some 36,000 feet al-
and 10
does not have to resist “consider- most 1,100 atmospheres the —
THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO 173
enormous pressure increases the ry, Joule, Ohm, Davy, Coulomb,
poses he has learned something seem to be talking about batteries
density only by some six per cent. Faraday, Watt and others was
about how the Nautilus operates. here. Ruhmkorff invented an in-
Verne’s false idea of the effect of completed years before 1869. An
This isn’t true. We learn, “This duction coil in 1851.
the depth on the density of water American inventor, Thomas Dav-
engine room, clearly lighted, did Anyhow, this is all we find out
shows up in the novel every so enport, patented the first electric
not measure less than sixty-five about the mechanism that drives
often. At one point Professor motor. He ran a railroad car with
feet in length. It was divided into this most famous of submarines.
Aronnax notes that the trans-At- it in 1839. So the use of electri-
two parts; the first contained the It isn’t much. Yet, thinking back
lantic cable rests on the bottom city aboard the Nautilus did not
materials producing electri-
for to the description after the lapse
in deep water “without anchor- call for the exercise of the ima-
city, and the second the machin- of a few years, it seems rosily
Whenever the Nautilus is to
age”. gination.
ery that connected it with the complete.
make an unusually deep dive, screw.” Then Captain Nemo tells
ERNE’S Nautilus was named
“the screw set to work at its maxi-
mum speed” in order to drive the V Robert Fulton’s Nautil-
after
us, “I use Bunsen’s contributions,
not Ruhmkorff’s. Bunsen’s are
VV/ r
HEN
tain
the tour
Nemo
is over, Cap-

Nautilus down into that “dense”
water. Once down, all the Nau-
tilus has to do to reach the surface
again is to shut off its screw and
tip its vanes upwards. It shoots to
the surface, squeezed up like a
slug of toothpaste from a tooth-
paste tube. In describing the
strength of any animals living in
water strata miles beneath the
surface, Professor Aronnax says,
requires incalculable strength
“it
tokeep one’s self in these strata
and resist their pressure.” Scien-
tists knew better in those days.
The Nautilus itself, as a sub-
marine, does not represent any-
thing new in the submarine' art,
with the exception of the idea of
using electricity for power. Cap-
tain Nemo says that he extracts
sodium from sea water and makes
electricityout of it. Everything
us, built in 1800 in France, and
it was more than named after it.
Fulton’s Nautilus had an observa-
tion dome protruding from the
upper deck, just like the one on
Verne’s Nautilus 69 years later.
In 1855 a German named Wil-
helm Bauer launched a subma-
rine fifty-seven feet long. It was
named the Sea Devil, and it car-
ried a crew of thirteen. It was
built to dive to 150 feet, and it
had an oxygen-regenerating sys-
tem, an observation dome at the
bow, and an air lock so that a
diver could enter and leave under
was fourteen years
water. All this
before Verne’s Nautilus. Once a
day it was necessary for Verne’s
Nautilus to surface to replenish
her air. She carried pressure tanks
for air storage, but no air-regen-
erating system.
fewer in number, but strong and
large, which experience proves to
be best. The electricity produced
passes forward, where it works by
electro-magnets of great size, on
a system of levers and cogwheels
that transmit the movement to
the axle of the screw.” And we
never again hear anything about
the front part of the room where
the electricity is produced. In
fact, the only feature we learn
about the back room is that the
system of levers and cogwheels
turns the screw a hundred and
twenty revolutions in a second,
which gives the Nautilus a speed
of fifty miles per hour —as you
might well imagine. This “Bunsen
and Ruhmkorff” business seems
to be thrown in for the distinction
gained from the use of a couple
of shining scientific names. Bun-
and Professor
Aronnax sit down
in the saloon
while the captain describes more
details of the Nautilus’s construc-
tion. Most of these involve dimen-
sions of the ship. It is here that
we learn the secret of the enor-
mous strength of the Nautilus’s
hull, a strength that allows the
vessel to dive to depths of several
miles once it gets up enough
power. The hull is double. “In-
deed, owing to this cellular ar-
rangement it resists like a block,
asif it were solid. Its side cannot
yield; it coheres spontaneously,
and not by the closeness of its
rivets; and the homogeneity of its
construction, due to the perfect
union of the materials, enables it
to defy the roughest seas.” So,
for those reasons, the double hull
accounts for the great strength of
the Nautilus apparently on the
. . .

aboard is run by electricity. But
even this speculation is not signi-
the work of men like
ficant, since
Volta, Ampere, Cavendish, Hen-
Early in the novel Captain sen, among many other things, in- theory that if one shell is good,
Nemo takes Professor Aronnax vented an electric cell that used two must be better.
on a tour of the Nautilus. At the plates of gas coke instead of plati- Captain Nemo continues to
end of this tour the reader sup- num, but Captain Nemo does not give figures, physical dimensions

174 GALAXY THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO 175


and properties of materials, which
again seem to impart something
scientific. Here there occurs the
remark, “steel plates, whose dens-
ity is from .7 to .8 that of water.”
One translation has “.07 to .08
that of water.” A non-technical
reader might see nothing wrong,
and even a technical reader might
slip over the grossly understated
density of steel. Verne doesn’t
really mean it, either; he is not
giving us a science-fiction descrip-
tion of lighter-than-water steel.
In these paragraphs he also states
the weight and dimension of the
outer shell, so it is pretty easy to
calculate the density of his steel
for ourselves.
It works out to be the normal
heavy steel we are used to, and
not the light stuff he says it is.
While discussing the strength
of the hull, Captain Nemo men-
tions that at a depth of 1,000 feet
of water, the walls of the Nautilus
bear a pressure of 100 atmos-
pheres. But, as every SCUBA
diver knows, water pressure in-
creases an additional atmosphere
for every 33 feet of depth, not
every 10 feet. So at 1,000 feet of
water the pressure on the hull of
the Nautilus would be a total of
31.3 atmospheres, not 100. This
same sort of mistake occurs dur-
ing that walk on the bottom
first
of the ocean. Professor Aronnax
tells us, “We were at a depth of a
hundred and five yards and
176
quantities”as an end in itself. marks that show a lack of infor-
twenty inches, undergoing a pres-
Such a remark could only be mation on a particular subject
sure of six atmospheres.” But this
made by a man with no mathe- information, that is, which could
depth of 316 feet produces a total
matical background whatsoever. have been obtained easily enough
pressure of 10.6 atmospheres.
Verne trained as a lawyer, and by asking or looking. One mile
In this instance Verne thinks
then for awhile he thought about visibility under water. Good natu-
every 53 feet of depth produces
going into the banking business. ral light at 150 fathoms. 7,000
an additional atmosphere of
Any knowledge of science he had fathom depth of water in the
water pressure, while previously
must have rubbed off on him, and Indian Ocean. It goes on and on.
he thought every 10 feet did so.
very thinly at that. It is time to emphasize again
Yet in the opening pages of the
that Verne is a great story-teller
novel Professor Aronnax explains
1W/E have been talking about despite his scientific and specula-
to Ned Land, “the pressure of the
atmosphere is represented by the
” Verne’s physical science. tive nonsense. The novel is
weight of a column of water
There good reason to suspect
is sprinkled with arresting thoughts.
that his biological science is just Professor Aronnax wonders if
thirty-two feet high.” This is just
about right; Verne has the correct
as bad. It doesn’t have the right some day there will be cities at
flavor. The crew of the Nautilus the bottom of the oceans, cities
datum, but he doesn’t bother to
use
throw out a net, say in the Indian that rise to the surface once a day
it later.
Ocean, and haul it back loaded. to replenish their air as the Nau-
The book frequently reports
Professor Aronnax looks in the tilus does. Later on, in a conversa-
popular fallacy as if it were scien-
tific For instance, Professor
fact.
net and says something like, “I tion between Captain Nemo and
Aronnax muses that the huge saw in the net .” and there will
. . Professor Aronnax, they discuss
follow a listing of the sea crea- the possibility of excavating the
mass of wooden material, includ-
tures in the net, anywhere from portion of the bottom of the Red
ing wrecked ships, floating in the
one paragraph to three pages Sea where the Pharaoh’s army
central point of the Sargasso Sea
“will become petrified by the
long. It is as if Verne pulled to- perished while pursuing Moses
action of the water, and will then
ward him a text on marine biol- and the Israelites; such an exca-
ogy, turned to the listing “Flora vation ought to “bring to light a
form inexhaustable coal mines.”
A clue as to why such nonsense
and Fauna of the Indian Ocean.” large number of arms and instru-
This sort of thing goes on fre- ments of Egyptian origin.” What
should be in the novel can be
quently in various bodies of a lovely concept!
found about halfway through.
water. Verne has his man look in As a novel, 20,000 Leagues Un-
Professor Aronnax knocks on the
the net and rattle off what he der the Sea is a good story. But
door of Captain Nemo’s room. He
sees there. Sometimes, as a varia- there is not a single bit of valid
is invited in. He enters and “found
tion, Professor Aronnax stands at speculation in none of its pre-
Captain Nemo deep in algebraic it;
the window while the Nautilus dictions has come true. The pur-
calculations of x and other quan-
cruises beneath the surface, and ported science in not semi-
it is
tities.” Now, nobody with even a
calls off the contents of the sea science or even pseudo-science. It
smattering of mathematics would
they are passing through. is non-science.
put it that way. People don’t sit
around calculating “x and other All through the novel occur re- — THEODORE L. THOMAS
GALAXY THE WATERY WONDERS OF CAPTAIN NEMO 177
By WILLIAM W. STUART Illustrated by WALKER a while I was there, all the way stranger — or, perhaps, not too
down, where the gutter was much less strange — I fitted well
You could say Jonesey and/or I were not something I could look up to. enough with the misfits of that
Well, turned out I had friends half-world where the individual
all there , but I don't see it that way.
who wouldn’t quit. By their ef- rarely stands out enough to be
How much of Stanley was or wasn't there? forts plus, as they say, the grace noticeable.
of God, I came off it; most of the Wino Jones, though, and his
No

H AVE you ever been clear ing. Look the other way. That’s
way off it, at least. credit to friend Stanley were, each in his
down there on skid row? me, but not too many ever man- own way, quite noticeable.
all right with me. I don’t know
age to make a round trip of it. I first ran across Wino Jones
Oh, sure, every city has anything better to do about the
one and no doubt you have given horrors that are, or that may be
Who are the misfits and dere- and Stanley one early spring eve-
licts on skid row? Anybody; no- ning. It was a Thursday. I was
it one of those look-away-quick on skid row than to hope they
body. Individuals, if they are in- beat. It had been a tough week
That what will stay there where they be-
side
mean.
glances. isn’t I
—
long and let me forget them.
dividuals, come and go. The — a political scandal, a couple
group, with few exceptions, is of fires and a big “Missing Kid
What I mean is, have you ever That’s why I’m writing this. I
always the same. It is built of Fiend” scare. Turned out the
Probably
haven’t, I could
not. And, if you
make a sugges-
want do the story of what
to
I saw, and what I think I saw
the world’s rejects — lost souls, kid had skipped school to catch
bad dreams; shadowy, indistinct a triple-feature horror show
been really down there? or felt, and what I didn’t see, to
shapes, not a part of life nor yet and was scared to go home when
tion. Don’t go. get it off my mind. Then I am
going to do my
damnedest not
quite altogether out of it, either. she came out late, so she went
Skid row is a far, remote way
whole thing.
I was down there. I left. But to hide out at Grandma’s. The
and there are all kinds of hor- to think of the
I kept passing by every once in suspect fiend was a cockfight
rors down there, the seen and Me, I know about skid row be-
a while to pay a little visit. For sportsman from the Caribbean
the unseen. To each his own, as cause I was there. That’s my
that I had two reasons. One, I colony smuggling home his loser
they say, and everyone there has personal problem and another
could sometimes pick up a lead under his leather jacket.
his own personal collection. All story, before this one, and the
on something for a Sunday fea- But had been a rough week
right. General opinion is to let
them be there and the hell with
hell with that, too. I once had
a wife and a couple of kids. I
ture for my paper. The other — it

with a lot of chasing around and

them, people and horrors too, if
there is a distinction. Unfortu-
nate, but what can you do? Noth-
just taking another
had a lot of problems and then
and then at where and what I
no wife and no kids and I made
had been was a sort of insurance
it to skid row. It was easy. For
for me.
from time to time I would
look now getting no place that left me in
one of those hell-with-it moods.
Like, maybe, I ought to take a
week or so off and and the—
hell with that. It was time for
me to pay a little remembrance-

THE LITTLE MAN ^ stop by The Yard for an eve-

ning. I would spring for a jug. I
was welcome. Those in the regu-
of- things -not -so -far -past
down on
I
the row.
the city room, tired,
left
visit

lar group knew me and they held dirty, needing a shave. Where I

WHO WASN’T QUITE

me in no more than the same
contempt they had for each
other and themselves. Being no
was headed, this would put me
ahead of the fashion parade, but
it would serve. I stopped for a

178 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 179

bowl of chili at Mad Miguel’s
and then wandered down to
those four blocks on South River
known
Street, as Bug Alley, that
make up the hard-core skid-row
section of our city.
Across from St. Vincent’s in
Scott Square, called the Yard,
by the old wall, there was a group
of six or eight passing the time
and a nearly dead jug. I
shambled over and squatted
down. Got a hard, bloodshot look
or two, but not because the jug
in the public park was against
the law. Even if I was the
so what? These, they made the
jail now and then, if there were
too many complaints, if
made a disturbance. But not
even the jail wanted them. The
hard looks wondered only if the
jug should be passed to me or
by me.
I lit a cigarette, took a couple
of drags and handed it on. Boot-
nose Bailey, big, old, bald, with
the cast-iron stomach and
leather liver, settled the jug
question by handing it to me. I
lifted it, letting only the smallest
trickle of the sticky sweet cheap
wine past. It is not for me; no
more. It is sickening stuff. But,
as always, the effort of holding
back left me shaking. All right;
with shaking, I had plenty of
company. The next man looked
pleased at the two gulps left in
the bottle and drained it.
180
“Ed?” Bootnose asked in his man, it is hard for me to remem- in the world —
which, as every
hoarse canned-heat whisper. ber him even now. Hard to skid-row pro desperately fears, it
“You gonna spring for a jug?” remember what he was like, that might very well turn out to be.
I squatted a minute or so and is. He wasn’t colored. He was • Stanley’s drinking? I didn’t no-
then stood and started fumbling small. His eyes, his hair, I don’t tice.
around through all my pockets. know. He must have had some After a while I wandered off.
This is local protocol. Coin by or I would have noticed. And he My appreciation of the fact that
coin, Ispread a dollar and a half had a sort of sour, distant, hurt I was able to wander off was
in silver out on the flat collec- bitterness about him, I recall, shored up again and I was glad
tion stone in front of me. A huge, and that is about all I can recall enough to get back to work the
powerful-looking colored man, ever seeing in Stanley. Except for next day without thinking any-
new to me, hunkered down the last time I saw him he — thing much more about it.
against the wall, smiled gently looked mean then. I didn’t think about Wino
and added a quarter. Bootnose This time, I smiled and nod- Jones or Stanley again till the
scooped it up and went to make ded. “Wino Jones, Stanley, wel- first of the next week. Then I
law, the run for the jug. come to our city, our little garden was on early shift at the paper,
spot.” due in at six A.M. At quarter to,
T WAS, I guess, stretching the “There now, Stanley,” Jones I yawned my way out of Mad
they ground rules a little by the beamed, “he can see you well Miguel’s after coffee, an egg and
way I stared at the big fellow. enough. You’re doing fine, Stan- hotcakes. Mig’s hotcakes were
But he surprised me mildly. For ley, getting better all the time. hot, too; made them with chili.
one thing, he looked in good You do see him plain, don’t you, Hard on the stomach, but they
shape; strong, no shakes, no fe- Ed?” popped the old eyelids open in
vered ghosts back of the blood- “Huh? Yeah, sure I see him. the morning. As I stood a minute
shot curtain of the eyes. And, Why not? Does he think he’s in the doorway, my watering
apart from that, you don’t find invi — ”
eyes spotted Wino Jones coming
very many Negroes on skid row, Jones interrupted me, “Look, out of the alley that led around
at least in our area. I don’t know there comes Mr. Bailey back al- to Mig’s kitchen side. He saw
why. ready.” me but, thoughtfully, didn’t
“Jones,” he said, softly, po- Well, it was a little odd. But crack till I gave him a, consider-
litely, “Wino Jones. You’re Ed? then, down there the odd is ing the time, reasonably bright
Ed, this here is my friend Stan- normal, the normal odd. I didn’t hello.
ley.” He waved a big hand at a think anything of it. “How’s it, Ed? You going on
wispy little man beside him. I sat a couple of hours. One early, uh?”
Funny hadn’t seen Stanley
I jug went and then another. Jt “Yeah, Wino — ah — Jonesy.
before, but there he was. That I did seem to me that Wino Jones Mind if I call you Jonesy?” He
want to make clear. Stanley was missed by a lot on proving out didn’t. “What’s with you? Been
no question about it. Only
there; his nickname. At least he didn’t washing a dish for the Mig?”
he was such a totally remote, love up the passing bottle as He nodded. Some of the up-
insignificant, unobtrusive little though it might be the last one per-level boys from the row
GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 181
worked off and on at odd jobs companionably to — no one. I
around the mangy clump of
bushes by the path. With him
down
of my
at the Yard. That was out
pattern. Usually one visit
like that. It didn’t make Jones didn’t get it. Well, Stanley pres-
was a sour, whispy, scarcely in a month or sowas plenty. But
unique, but it made him stand ent or absent rated very low on
noticeable little man. Stanley. now, for whatever reason, I was
out a little. the list of the problems I was
“Evening, Jonesy,” I said, getting kind of interested in
“Me and we
little change
Stanley,
in our
like
pockets.
a going to worry about. I went to
work.
“and Stanley. Good to see you Jones —
and Stanley.
again.” I meant it even though, This time Jones was there
Right, Stanley?” I ran into Jones every morning
come to think, it didn’t really hunkered down against the wall
He looked down and a little to during the week I was on early;
though he were
clear anything up. Jones gave when I wandered up. Coaster
one side, just as Jones, coming off work, with
asking agreement from someone. Stanley — who wasn’t there.
me his smile and Stanley nod-
ded suspiciously.
Joe squatted on one side of him.
On the other side, no one. I
Only there wasn’t anyone there. Odd, sure. But if Jones was
They moved in and joined the looked; I looked close. There
There wasn’t anyone in sight on stringing a way-out gag or play-
group. Somebody made a run; a was no one there. Still, when I
the block but Jones and me. ing with a mild hallucination,
couple. The talk staggered nodded around, I nodded at the
still it was nothing to me.
around as usual. Topics: booze; empty space. Noticed that Boot-
T>UT Jones smiled and nodded I did mention it to Mig, who
money, yesterday’s and tomor- nose Bailey was missing. A mild
warmly at the short vacancy
beside him and then looked back
only
hombre
said, “Si,
eat big. He like two
these one big
row’s; booze; women — only surprise. Bootnose and a bottle
occasionally and with mild, de- were nearly as much Yard fix-
at me. “Stanley here, he come plate eat for breakfast, plate he
cayed interest; booze. tures as Gen. Scott in bronze
by to meet me after work. Mr. wash, bueno, what for I com-
Mig, he let me fix us a bite of plain?”
Jones put in a soft word or and pigeons. I settled in. A little
two from time to time until he time and a jug went by. I still
breakfast when I finishup the So that was Nothing.
all.
finally stood up, stretched and didn’t see Stanley.
night.” Toward the end of the next
said he was going up to Mig’s. My curiosity finally insisted
I looked again at
Stanley was supposed to be
where week, wandered down to the
I
Yard again and joined the little
Stanley stayed. I know he did. on a remark. “Jonesy, I —
I watched him. Afterward, I haven’t seen Stanley tonight.”
standing and then, blankly, back group of exponents of gracious
tried to remember if he said Jones smiled, not quite as
at Jones. He shrugged almost almost-living by the wall. Jones
anything, but that I couldn’t re- easy and relaxed as usual. “Stan-
unnoticeably and, I thought, wasn’t there. But as I was set-
down glanced over at the
call. ley isn’t around tonight. He
barely shook his head. tling I

“Well-1 —
” he said, “I expect Broad Street side of the square
I
while
went
after
on home myself a
Jones left. Stanley
went someplace.”
“Oh? Well, that’s good." It
me and Stanley better drift back and I saw him strolling along
was still there, though, when I seemed a safe statement. If
on down to the Yard before toward us. He was smiling, talk-
glanced back from Broad Street, Stanley had been in jail, Jones
some fuzz comes along and fans ing, gesturing. He was alone. I
I couldn’t pick him out in the would have said so. Any other
us down.” looked twice. There was no one
dim moon and street light. place was bound to be better. I
“Yeah?” I said. “Yeah. So with Jones.
long, Jonesy — Stanley.” I settled down, took a drag or
Still nothing much, eh? was being unjustifiably nosy, but
curiosity wouldn’t let me drop
don’t know why added the two on a smoke and passed it
I I
nPHE NEXT week I came on it. “Where did he go?”
“Stanley” but, obscurely, it along. Lifted a jug. Got back the
work at ten and I didn’t see Jones shrugged. Then, seri-
seemed to please Jones. He gave
me a big smile and then walked
old lost, gone, miserable feel of
the thing again. I looked up then
Jones —
or not see Stanley — ously, “To tell the truth, Ed, I
all week. Friday, I was back don’t rightly know. Fact is, I
off down the street, chatting at Jones who was just coming

182 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 183

been a mite worried about old Stanley it is mostly like this — “I only read some. But these “Me, I lived down the road a
Stanley lately.”
No one else was paying any
when he is around, I mean.
There are people who see him;
men down here —
you might piece from Stanley. I don’t know
say, couldn’t you, that they are why, but he took to following me
attention to us. “So? How’s a few. But most people, they
maybe men who don’t have around. Mostly because every-
that?” can’t see Stanley at all. With
“Well — ” He shrugged again you, seems like it changes. Up-
much of a hold on the world
any more?”
one else ran him off, I expect. I
don’t guess I was real good to
and then made a decision. “You town you can’t see him; down
“True.” poor Stanley, but I let him tag
know, Ed, it’s a sort of a odd here you can.”
“And the world holds them along. You would hardly know
thing about Stanley. If you have “What?”
mighty lightly. They are noth- he was there; no trouble. And he
a little time ?” “Now me, I see him most all
. . .
Nobody pays them attention.
ing. struck me so sort of lost and
“Time is what I have.” the time. All the time when he’s
They are outside of everything. pitiful,you know? I never had
Jones sighed. “It might turn around, that is; when he hasn’t
They are pretty much outside the heart to chase him. After a
out to be a problem, I think.
Bothers me some. It would be a
gone off someplace, like tonight.
But most people, what you might
the world, even. Now you, Ed — while, it got to where he even

kindness if you would let me call reallynormal people no — you are mostly a part of the took to trailing along after me

talk to you about it.” offense, Ed — they can’t ever

normal world. But one time you
were all the way on down here,
to school.
“Now that was a funny thing;
I stood up. Jones, making a see Stanley.”
right? So you ” — kind of got me to wondering.
gesture that clearly set him “I have a feeling for it? Some- There was a white kid down in
apart, put a quarter on the flat TT SOUNDED silly. But Jones
thing like that?” that part of the country, running
collection stone as he got up to said it with a calm conviction
“Something like that. And so along after a colored boy to a
join me. We strolled off through that carried weight. If I couldn’t
down here you are like the colored school. You would ex-
the dusk in the park, quietly. believe it exactly, I didn’t dis-
others;you can see Stanley. Up- pect that to attract a good deal
Jones, even in a state of some believe him either. You hear
town, you couldn’t see him.” of attention, wouldn’t you?
unease, was a comfortable pres- plenty of queer stories on skid
But how? Maybe stir up a big storm in the
ence. Over on the Broad Street row — dreams, nightmares, non-
Why?”
“Sounds nuts.
county. But nobody ever hardly
side of the Yard, we sat down sense. There used to be one
“That goes back, way back. seemed to notice Stanley at all.
on a bench. crummy, rummy old bum around Stanley and me, we were kids There wasn’t anything ever said
“Don’t rightly know how to called Gov’nor who used to
together. Stanley, his people about it.
begin,” Jones said, scratching his claim he really had been a
were what down there they call “Well, you know, Ed, any kid,
head with a fielder’s-mitt-sized governor. He drank down some
even Stanley, he wants some at-
hand, “but —
Ed, I expect you office duplicator fluid and died.
‘trash.’ Fourteen,
Who was whose pa, who would
fifteen kids.
tention, some affection from
noticed something funny about Police routine checked. He was
know? Or care? And Stanley, he someone. Stanley, all he ever
Stanley? Or maybe about me?” an ex-governor. Probabilities
was kind of the runt of the whole had was me and I never more
“I noticed that sometimes I eliminate no remote possibilities;
litter. Nobody paid him any than about put up with him
see Stanley and sometimes I if you flip a coin long enough,
mind. He never talked much when we were kids. And any kid
don’t. And that sometimes you someday it will stand on edge. ’cause nobody listened. Got to likes to feel kind of important
act as though you see him when “How do you figure that?” I be a real dopy, dreamy, moody sometime. Be noticed. Be king of
he positively is not there.” asked Jones.
kid. Not ever sick, but sickly. He the hill at recess. Win a spelling
“Um, yes. Makes you kind of “I don’t want to sound like I
was more like nothing than any bee. Whup somebody, or even be
unusual too, Ed. Because with think I am a brain,” Jones said. kid I ever did see. the kid that gets made to stay

184 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 185

after school the most. He wants that most people couldn’t even and I guess I am pretty fond of ning and looked around when
I

to feel like he is somebody. Only see Stanley at all any more.” it at that. Couldn’t ever have I finished my
soup and I couldn’t
Stanley, he never could. Seemed “He got so far out he was managed to leave skid row if I see Stanley. It gave me a turn.
like the more he wanted to push really gone?” weren’t. But after a little while, there he
out into things, the more he “Only it was kind of pitiful “So,” Jones said, “poor Stan- was again. I asked him where he
would get shy and not able to, the way it made Stanley mad. ley, he always has been mighty went. He couldn’t or wouldn’t
and he would pull away back Me, I got vagged a few times. dependent on me; more, maybe, ever tell me much, only that
inside even more. He never could Only Stanley, he could be right since we been moving around. there was someplace he was try-
talk much hardly, even to me. beside me and spit in the Until just lately.” ing to get to and friends he
Got so I would scarcely know he sheriff’s face and they wouldn’t “Kind of a damn nuisance, wanted to meet.
“
was around myself.” touch him. They wouldn’t even huh?” ‘I can almost get there,’
know he was there. When I was never bothered me too
“It Stanley told me. ‘There’s the
44TTE LOST touch with the locked up, he could walk in and much. Of course it keeps me border and over there on the
world?” I put in. “Well, out to visit me. Nobody ever down around this part of every other side, they want me. I can
that happens. There are oddballs stopped him. Nobody saw him town we make and maybe this feel they want me. They under-

all over, you know.” — except, we found out then, isn’t the kind of life I would stand that I am important to
“Oh, sure —
sure there are, that some of the prisoners could have picked for myself. But them. They want me to come. If
see Stanley plain enough.” Stanley has made me feel sort I could just find the way across
Ed,” said Jones. “But Stanley
wasn’t like that, not exactly; or “Oh?” I said. of responsible. And some kind of to
—
only. Seemed like it was as “Yes. And that’s the way it responsibility is good for a man, “He never told me who it was
much the world lost touch with has been. Seems like the only wouldn’t you say?” wanted him, or where, or what
Stanley as it was the other way. people who can see Stanley are I couldn’t argue with it; not for. But ever since then, every

He always did feel a resentment people like, well, like the ones me. Anyway, it proved what I once in a while I would look
about it, too, and I believe it down here around the Yard. The had felt from the start Wino — around and Stanley would be
turned him pretty bitter way ones who are —
how would you Jones wasn’t a real or a natural gone. First part of this last week
down someplace. ’Course he say it? — in the world but not skid-row type; he was forcing he was gone again — and when
never did say much, but I could of huh? I
it, read that some- himself. he came back, he was changed.
tell.I got the feeling.” where. People who are far “Well, Ed, Stanley has been He was kind of superior-acting.
“So? How did you come enough out can see Stanley; only trailing me around all the years Not pleasant. Wherever he was
here?” he is farther out than any of — only somehow I don’t believe trying to get, he had got there.
“Well, my mammy, she passed them.” Stanley ever did really like me ‘Now,’ he told me, ‘I have friends
on and there wasn’t anything to “Hm-m. Well, the world being much. He followed me because who know I am somebody.’ He
hold me back there around what it is, maybe Stanley is he couldn’t do anything else, but was real set up over it. Tonight
home, so I left. Stanley, he tag- lucky.” he never took to me. I guess he went back again.”
ged right along after me. Like a “Ed, you don’t really mean maybe I couldn’t ever quite look “Where?” I wanted to know.
shadow. You might say he was that.” up to him the way he wanted. So
a sort of a shadow’s shadow, He was right, of course. This I suppose he has always been ONES SHOOK his head. “I

huh? We bummed around. I world positively was not built looking for something else. Well, J told him, ‘Stanley, we been
worked here and there. Then I according to any specifications before we came here, we were together a long time. You got
found out —
we found out — of mine, but still it is my world stopping in a mission one eve- friends besides me, I’m glad

186 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 187

Only, you know, I kind of feel of uneasy about it all,” he added. ears, even though he had to That bottle and another went
Maybe admit that the “Present Stench around. So did the talk. I was
responsible.
meet your friends, huh? Why
I ought to
A
There it was, Jonesy’s story.
nonsense story? Sure. But it
— Future Disaster” line from the leaning on the wall next to
don’t you take me to meet them?’ sewer gas story did fit very Jones. Neither of us had much
left me feeling a little uneasy
“ nicely over the item on the to say. Finally, it was just com-
‘No,’ says Stanley. ‘Oh, no.’ too. We talked it back and forth
mayoralty campaign. ing on
dusk, I asked him,
He wouldn’t hear of it. I got to a while longer, Jones and me,
stay here and wait for him, he I was down Yard a little
at the “You’re sure he’ll come here?
and the more we talked the more
tells me.”
after five. Jones came along a Are you sure he’ll show at all?”
uneasy I got. Foolish or not,
“Well, sure,” I told Jones. few minutes later. The group “He’ll be here. Most any time
Jones himself believed it. He
was there. It always is, except now, Ed. I can feel it. Can’t
“How could you go with a man wasn’t trying to con me into
into his dream?” when there is a city clean-up. you?”
anything. There was no other
“Yeah — only Stanley did point to it. And —
well, maybe
Then it moves over behind the
church. Today there was a ten-
could feel something, but it
I

was only a contagion of tension,

take old Mr. Bootnose Bailey it was simply the fact that Jones
sion. Jones was smiling, gentle I told myself.
with him.” was a good deal of man. What
“What?” exclaimed.
and friendly as always, but there Then Jones said, “Look there,”
I he said had a real conviction to
“Uh-huh. Stanley said he was were nerves back of it. Probably and pointed.
it. Even if the story was hard to

going to prove it to me. He said
believe, still there was what I
he would take somebody along had seen — and not seen
the others were mostly just suf- Ifollowed the line of his big,
of— fering dry nerves. But I was
rattled enough so I fumbled a
pink-nailed, black finger
along the path through the park
off

with him to this place and then Stanley. And even if there was
he would bring one of his friends five out and put it on the rock. from Broad Street, a little hazy
nothing that seemed particularly
back here to visit. He said that That, naturally, meant that in the summer evening. There
threatening about the business,
would show would show
me, Coaster Joe and Feeny, who was nothing. Then there was a
it made the two of us uneasy.

everybody. And you know, Ed, I There was nothing for us to

moved the quickest, went to darker spot in the haze and
I much liked the
don’t believe
make a run and didn’t come then, not more than about
do about it, though. I went on
back. With the right change for twenty feet away, just about to
way poor Stanley looked when home to my apartment after I
the jug, the wino never skips; pass back of the row of bushes
he said that. He looked kind of promised Jones I would be
with change to bring back, al- along the path, I saw Stanley.
mean.” around the next night when
ways. Tonight he seemed, spmehow, a
“But they went? Both of Stanley, alone or with company,
more positive presence, even at
them? And that’s why old Boot- was due back. I don’t know what
\W7ELL, some more silver was that distance. There was a cocky
nose isn’t around?” Jones expected. I don’t know
Jones nodded. “Yeah. Stanley what I expected. But Stanley’s
” painfully dredged up, mostly bounce in his walk and a tilt to
by and somebody else
Jones, his chin that announced “Here
promised Mr. Bootnose some- friend, no;we didn’t expect that.
went. The wine went around is someone to reckon with.”
thing would give him a real boot. The next day I was filling in
and I admit that this time I took Other eyes in our little circle
They went. Stanley, last thing on the desk, but my mind must
a swallow or two on my turn. I turned his way as he passed be-
he said before I watched the have been fumbling around with
noticed Jones did too. Not hind the bushes. A couple of
two of them just sort of fade out, Stanley’s other world. I fumbled
much; a little. We were cold seconds more and he came
he said he would be back tomor- all day and finished by crossing
sober. Too cold, actually. I around the near side and moved
row evening. He wanted me to up a couple of headlines. So I
needed the little wine I had in in to join us.
be sure to wait for him in the left the office with the managing
Yard. And fact is, Ed, I’m kind editor’s curses ringing in my me and a lot more. “Hello there, Wino,” he said

188 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 189

 to Jones and there was conde- maybe. With me, it has always
scension in it. “Fellows, I want” been spiders, ugly, hairy-legged,
— proudly — “you should meet bloat-bellied.
r i* a *4 Tovjet Tii a friend of mine.” The horrors. The height man,
Around the bushes came a when he gets them, will have the
sensation of falling, helplessly,
shape, a dark shape; Stanley’s
friend, from some other place or
Once I had spiders.
endlessly.
world. In our group, Saint Betty, There were hordes, millions of
a retired queen, choked on the great, stickily scrabbling, poison-

and handed it to me. I ous spiders crawling, crawling

jug
shoved it along to Jones. The all over me, over everything —
paralyzing effect of Stanley’s until I woke wrapped up like an
friend can be measured in the iced tamale in the cold wet sheet
fact that the jug went three that is called “calming restraint”
times around that thirsty circle in psycho wards.
— and no one even lifted it to Stanley’s friend? Well, it’s an
ugly thought, but consider those
his lips till it fell in the dust at
my feet.
spiders of mine. And consider
Stanley’s friend was there all people. People, mostly, have re-
right;really there. What did I ligion. “God made man in his

say he was like? A dark shape? image,” they say, except God, of
Yes. But that dark shape and course, is the infinitely greater.

the detail of that shape came Now suppose that spiders had a
through as clear as a hot blue god. A spider god. “God made
flame to me. spiders in his image,” the spiders
You weren’t ever down that might say, right? So such a
way, right? Not to stay, at least. spider god, that almighty apoth-
Well, one thing people there eosis of spiderdom —
that was

have in common is the horrors. Stanley’s friend as I saw him.

Not just the ordinary day-to-day
horrors of a hard life but the big T DON’T KNOW how I could
horrors. The D.T.s. How do they see a thing like that. Maybe
didn’t seeit, exactly. But ab-
go? The detail varies. With I

everyone, there is something that solutely, in some way, by what-

really panics him, gives him that
sense of unreasoning, helpless,
screaming fear. With a lot of
people it is snakes. That’s the
’
traditional. With others,
be heights, or closed rooms;
ever means, the positive percep-
tion of such a thing burned itself
into my eyes and mind.
The other fellows? No one
it can screamed aloud, although my
rats, mind was screaming. Horrors

THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 191

were not less horrible to us, only “Yes,” snapped Stanley, “I
— to each his own? Somehow he went. So, if I’m not there, if
less unfamiliar than to other see. I should have known. All that made it seem even worse.
•
he can’t locate me, could be he
people. One by one, the others right then, we’ll do it your way. Jones wanted to come along won’t be able to make his way
quivered to shaky feet and they We will show them all.” with me? I was glad and grate- back —
with his friends. I think
stumbled off through the eve- I stumbled a step or two ful. I don’t know that I could I better stay as far away from
ning. The three-quarters
jug, toward the path. have stood being alone that down there as I can get. You
full yet, stayed there in the dust “Wino,” said Stanley, “Wino night. reckon there might be some kind
of the Yard, forgotten. Jones. We
are going over to the of job I could do on that paper
How long it was, I don’t know. other side now. But we will be ¥ TP IN MY apartment, we you work for?”
Not long —
and then only Jones back, you hear me? You just ^ turned on all the lights. Had I said. I knew they
“Sure,”
and I were with Stanley and
left wait.” a couple of nightcaps. Sat up all needed some men in the circula-

Stanley’s friend. The rest of the “Sure, Stanley,” said Jones, still night in my luxurious eight-by- tion department. “That isn’t so
park was empty. Across Bug gentle, kind. “Only, Stanley, are ten living-dining-kitchen area for very far away, though, is it?” I
Alley in front of the church an you sure?” modern living. We
talked a little, had a sense that he was right
old woman carrying a sack of “I’m sure,” said Stanley. He but not about Stanley and his about Stanley.
rubbish was impelled to look our turned to his friend. “Come on. friend. It was too fresh and we “Not miles. Distance, like that,
way. She screeched in a high, Let’s go.” were too shaken. It seemed safer I don’t think it makes much
disappearing pitch and crumpled They moved together toward not to mention it. difference where Stanley is. It’s

to the walk. The church was the bushes. I suppose we must have dozed the Yard and all that, huh?
dark and silent. Stanley looked back over his off and on. In the morning, I Seems to be like if I get a steady
woke up. I still had the shakes. job, get to be a real, steady,
Jones stood there, big, power- shoulder at Jones. “We’ll be
ful,leaning against the wall. He back,” he said, “we’ll be back, No hangover, but the shakes. normal citizen, that’s what would
smiled at Stanley, but it was a Wino. You be looking for us.” “Jonesy,” I said. “Jonesy, I make me hard for Stanley to

weak, sick smile. How he man- Then they were gone. Thank guess maybe I ought to be get- find.”

aged that much, I’ll never know. the good Lord, they were gone. ting along to work. What are “Yes,” I said, “I see. The more
Weak, trembling, stomach churn- “Well,” I quavered at Jones, you going to do?” you are a full part of this world,
ing, I dragged myself up. “you did say you were kind of He woke up, full awake, like the farther away you will be
“Uh — well,” I mumbled, uneasy about him, didn’t you?” that. “I’m not going back,” he from that other one — and
“f’you fellows will excuse me — “Yes,” said Jones, “that’s right. said. “You know?” Stanley.”
guess I better be moving along.” You going on home now, Ed?” “Yeah.” “That’s it.”

“I got a feeling. I got kind of hope so. Lord, I hope so.

Stanley’s lip curled. He was “You bet!” “I

irritated. I couldn’t help that. impose, a feeling that maybe I am sort You come along down with me
“I don’t like to but
“You see?” It wasn’t speech, would you mind if I kind of of Stanley’s doorway or gate this morning. We’ll get you a job
but the thought came plainly tagged along? I don’t feel too back here, if you know what I ifwe have to kill someone to
from Stanley’s friend, out of a good —after that thing with mean. He was always nearer to make a vacancy
— that
Jonesy, that . . .

—
churning of black, hungry Stanley, built of all those thou- me than anyone. You notice he thing, spiders, snakes

thoughts, “You see how it is? sands of hissing, wiggling kept telling me to wait for him? you are sure it was real? It was
Even now, not even such as snakes.” >
I think maybe he needs to feel actually here, I mean? And
these will welcome us as friends With had around and find me to make his might come back if Stanley can
been
and equals.”
Jones,
snakes, not spiders.
it

The others way back across from wherever make the way — in force?”

192 GALAXY THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T QUITE 193

 “Yes, Ed. You didn’t —
have to ask, did you?”
“No,” I said.
really might even come of it
enough time.
given

I have checked back on the

The BEMs in your neighborhood
won't run off with your books
And that’s it and that’s all., Yard a few times but so far, at
least, nothing more than the
ifyou put inside the front cover
CINCE THEN — well, Jones standard rack-up of ordinary of each book... a gummed bookplate
^ is working for the paper. He horrors. I am not going to check with your name printed on it!
got be assistant circulation
to any more. What for? Such a
manager in less than a year. He thing as Stanley’s friend, you
is as respectable and non-skid- couldn’t fight, and I wouldn’t
row a citizen as there is in town. know what direction to run. If
Has a girl; getting married next those things ever find a way over
month. here, where would they be com-
Me? I’m the same, maybe a ing from? I don’t know. From
little better. I go every other inside, maybe, Jones says. How
week to visit my kids and Jennie, do you run from that?
my ex, hastaken to staying Best, I think, forget it. I in-
around now.We even talk a tend to try. And, so help me, I
little bit and, last time, I took am through with skid row. Who
her some flowers and she wouldn’t be?
blushed like a bride. Something — WILLIAM W. STUART

FORECAST No. CF-614 by Emsh No. GF-612 by Emsh

FINAGLE SAYS —
We begin the new year for Galaxy with the end of an old tradition. The umpteenth corollary
The first time the Frederik Pohl-C.M. Kornbluth byline appeared it was in of Finagle's General Law of
Galaxy, on the famous Gravy Planet (which as The Space Merchants has Dynamic Negatives says:
been republished in one form or another every year since, somewhere in "No books are ever lost
the world — this year in Brazil, Japan and Czechoslovakia.) The last time
by loaning except ones you
particularly want to keep."
will be in our next issue, with a complete novella called Critical Mass. Since

Kornbluth's untimely death a few years ago, Pohl has completed several 100 for $4; 200, $6; 300, $8
projects then unfinished; this is the last of them. with owner's name imprinted
Naturally we'll also have Poul Anderson, completing his The Day All Postpaid. Add state sales lax, if any.
After Doomsday which begins so brilliantly this month. There will be at
least one novelette, shorts to fit . . . and another item worth mentioning. ACTUAL SIZE, all designs, 3x4 inches
No. GM-12 by Cullen Rapp No. GX-57 by Lynd Ward
It is called The Martian Star-Gazers — not a story but an article — and it

will be the subject of our February cover. The designs shown above are the only ones we offer!

194 GALAXY Order from GALAXY 421 Hudson Street, New York 14 N.Y. ,
YOURS!
the next
16
BIG ISSUES OF 1^
FOR ONLY $3.95 -SAVING YOU $1.65-
|F YOU ACCEPT THIS SPECIAL
OFFER
the "wonder" in your
you wonder what happened to
If

science-fiction stories — it's in IF! Every issue packed

space!
with new, fast tales of tomorrow and

4
"SKYLARK" SMITH SERIAL BEGINS IN
THE NEXT BIG ISSUE OF IF
greatest novels, Masters of Space, written
One of his
in collaboration with E. Everett Evans — never before
published anywhere — starts in November IF.

The greatest names in science fiction

WRITE FOR IF

Simak,
Del Rey, Clarke, Harmon, Schmitz, Pohl, Davidson,
Bloch, Keyes, Sturgeon, Galouye, Sharkey,
McIntosh, Fyfej
Dickson — they’re all in IF!

.CLIP COUPON AND MAIL TODAY

if 421 Hudson St., New York 14, N. Y.

16 big issues of IF! enclose I

yes! Send me the next
$3.95. (Outside of N. and S. America add $1.35 postage.)

Name

Address ..

Zone State
City

or order by letter if you wish

Use coupon