Veach 1

Tanner Veach

Miss Cook

Composition

30 April 2017

Critical Film Analysis of The Bright

Just imagine the thought of having to walk down the street and have to be on guard the

whole time because you are being judged, you are considered different from them and you just

feel discriminated. In Steven Lynn's writing the Writing about literature with critical theory in

chapter 2 Critical worlds he shows many approaches on how to analyze a text in further depth.

In one of his approaches he mentions African American criticism and how to view a text in this

perspective. African American criticism is used to view a text to see if their any role that race

plays in it and does any racial or ethnic status play in your reading (Lynn 34). With the movie

The Bright throughout this whole film people can view this film from a perspective that there is

many things that happen throughout the plot of the story that shows that race plays a part in this

film.

There are a lot of things that go on in our world today like in the the US that have led to

the creation of this film. According to New York Times, there were many videos of police

brutality on blacks that occured before this film was released. For example, in 2017, Demetrius

Bryan Hollins was physically assaulted by two cops during a traffic stop. The Gwinnett County

Police Department later dismissed 89 cases involving the officers, Robert McDonald and Sgt.

Michael F. Bongiovanni, who were fired and face criminal charges. These officers had no

reason to do what they did in this act, but racism played a big part in this incident with these

officers judging the guy driving this car because he was black. This type of event and all the

other events just like this show how this would have encouraged the writers of this film to make

it relatable to our world today.

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In this film there are many ways that shows that race plays a part in this film. Right from

the beginning of the this film, in the introductions, it shows artwork that has been spray painted

all over city of our orcs are mistreated. The first artwork that is shown is the face of an orc with a

bullet hole in its head and beside of this is says, “In the beginning god created all races equal

but eyes are more equal” and also says in big letters “pig skin”. This shows that the humans

judge and discriminate the orcs because they are a different race and this shows that you

should never judge a book by its cover. Another artwork it shows is a human standing on top of

an orc. This typical artwork shows that throughout this movie the humans have more control and

more rights than orcs.

When you begin to watch this film and you trying to see how it shows racism the two

characters that stand out is Ward and Jacoby which are also the two main characters in this film

and they are both partners in the LAPD. Jacoby is the first Orc that became a policemen and all

other orcs despised him. The LAPD were all humans and everyone wanted jacoby gone

because he was different and they thought that he didn’t belong there. They felt like he was cop,

but he thought as a orc first. One scene that stands out is the bunch of policemen are assaulting

an orc. Ward and Jacoby was driving by the scene and Ward doesn’t trust jacoby because he

thought that jacoby got him shot earlier in the film in a previous incident. Ward asked him, “Are

you a cop first or an orc first?” This shows that he doesn’t trust him because of his race. There

is a scene when the two found a wand and called reinforcements and they all meet up without

Jacoby there and they tried to turn Ward on Jacoby and they would kill him to get rid of him.

This scene shows that if they are willing to do an act like that just to get rid of someone just

because they thought he was different because of his race and where he comes from shows a

big sign of racism. Another scene is when Ward first came back from his injury from he got shot.

Ward and all the cops were in the locker room and all the cops was talking down on Jacoby.

They were telling Ward that pig skin freak (Jacoby) was going to get them all killed and that they

needed to get Jacoby fired. According to solidarity-us.org Official unemployment is nearly 50%
 Veach 3

higher for African Americans than for whites. Just like the film Jacoby is being criticized because

of his race and in our world today, the same thing is happening to African Americans.

Overall, This film shows many things that are still happening in our society today with

racism. Today in the US African Americans are being discriminated and taken advantage of

because of their race. Jacoby is an orc and is also being discriminated and taken advantage of

throughout this film because of his race too. At the end of this film, both Ward and Jacoby end

up being closer and don’t dislike each other and judge each other anymore. That also shows

that our society today needs to do the same thing and come together and not judge someone

because their skin color or race. When every single person realizes that eventually if we come

together it will make our world a better place to live all our life’s to the fullest. So when you walk

down the street, you don’t have to worry about someone judging you and you won’t have to be

scared to walk down the street because your afraid someone will take advantage of you. This is

one of the key things that can make the world more peaceful for everyone.

Work cited

Almukhtar, Sarah, et al. “Black Lives Upended by Policing: The Raw Videos Sparking

Outrage.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 30 July 2015,

www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/08/19/us/police-videos-

race.html?rref=collection%2Ftimestopic%2FPolice%2BBrutality%2Band%2BMisconduct&action=clic
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k&contentCollection=timestopics®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=search&contentPlace

ment=3&pgtype=collection.

Miah, Malik. “Race and Class: Blacks Still Taking the Hit.” Solidarity Race and Class Blacks

Still Taking the Hit Comments, solidarity-us.org/atc/144/p2604/.

Lynn, Steven. Texts and Contexts: Writing about Literature with Critical Theory. Pearson,

2016.

Rubric rating submitted on: 5/6/2018, 9:45:15 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org

4 3 2 1 0

W.1.a: Hook (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively ) Introduction demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
demonstrated) paragraph but a couple but multiple Introduction
Introduction captures the errors exist) errors exist) paragraph
paragraph reader's Introduction Introduction captures the
captures the attention. paragraph paragraph reader's
reader's captures the captures the attention.
attention. reader's reader's
attention. attention.

W.1. a: Intro (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt) A

Summary creatively ) A brief demonstrate, demonstrate, brief summary
Your score: 4 demonstrated) summary of but a couple but multiple of the text(s)
A brief the text(s) errors exist) A errors exist) A analyzed is
summary of analyzed is brief summary brief summary given to
the text(s) given to of the text(s) of the text(s) anticipate the
analyzed is anticipate the analyzed is analyzed is reader's
given to reader's given to given to knowledge
anticipate the knowledge anticipate the anticipate the level--no more
reader's level--no more reader's reader's than a couple
knowledge than a couple knowledge knowledge sentences.
level--no more sentences. level--no more level--no more
than a couple than a couple than a couple
sentences. sentences. sentences.

W. 1.a: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt)

Introduce creatively ) Intro demonstrate, demonstrate, Intro
Claims demonstrated) paragraph but a couple but multiple paragraph
Your score: 4 Intro clearly errors exist) errors clearly
paragraph introduces the Intro exist)Intro introduces the
clearly claims of the paragraph paragraph claims of the
introduces the body clearly clearly body
claims of the paragraphs. introduces the introduces the paragraphs.
body claims of the claims of the
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paragraphs. body body

paragraphs. paragraphs.

W.1.a: Thesis (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted, (Attempted, (no attempt

Your score: 3 creatively ) The last but a couple but multiple made) The last
demonstrated) sentence is a errors exist) errors exist) sentence is a
The last thesis The last The last thesis
sentence is a statement that sentence is a sentence is a statement that
thesis is clear, thesis thesis is clear,
statement that sophisticated, statement that statement that sophisticated,
is clear, and insightful. is clear, is clear, and insightful.
sophisticated, sophisticated, sophisticated,
and insightful. and insightful. and insightful.

W. 1. a: Topic (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted, (Attempted, (No attempt

Sentences creatively ) Each body but a couple but multiple made) Each
Your score: 3 demonstrated) paragraph errors exist) errors exist) body
Each body begins with a Each body Each body paragraph
paragraph clear, paragraph paragraph begins with a
begins with a sophisticated, begins with a begins with a clear,
clear, and insightful clear, clear, sophisticated,
sophisticated, topic sentence. sophisticated, sophisticated, and insightful
and insightful and insightful and insightful topic sentence.
topic sentence. topic sentence. topic sentence.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Organization & creatively ) Claims, demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Claims,
Sequencing demonstrated) counterclaims, but a couple but multiple counterclaims,
Your score: 4 Claims, reasons, and errors exist) errors reasons, and
counterclaims, evidence are Claims, exist)Claims, evidence are
reasons, and effectively counterclaims, counterclaims, effectively
evidence are structured and reasons, and reasons, and structured and
effectively organized in a evidence are evidence are organized in a
structured and logical effectively effectively logical
organized in a sequence. structured and structured and sequence.
logical organized in a organized in a
sequence. logical logical
sequence. sequence.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Literary creatively ) Clear demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Criticism demonstrated) explanation of but a couple but multiple explanation of
Your score: 4 Clear the criticism errors exist) errors exist) the criticism
explanation of being used. Clear Clear being used.
the criticism explanation of explanation of
being used. the criticism the criticism
being used. being used.
 Veach 6

W. 1. c: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Transitions creatively ) Thoughtful demonstrate, demonstrate, made)Thoughtf
Your score: 4 demonstrated) progression of but a couple but multiple ul progression
Thoughtful ideas and errors exist) errors exist) of ideas and
progression of details with Thoughtful Thoughtful details with
ideas and sound progression of progression of sound
details with transitions to ideas and ideas and transitions to
sound show details with details with show
transitions to connection sound sound connection
show between points transitions to transitions to between points
connection and show show and
between points paragraphs. connection connection paragraphs.
and between points between points
paragraphs. and and
paragraphs. paragraphs.

W. 1. b: Focus (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively ) Maintains a demonstrate, demonstrate, made)Maintain
demonstrated) consistent but a couple but multiple s a consistent
Maintains a focus errors exist) errors exist) focus
consistent throughout. Maintains a Maintains a throughout.
focus Thesis is consistent consistent Thesis is
throughout. effectively focus focus effectively
Thesis is woven throughout. throughout. woven
effectively throughout Thesis is Thesis is throughout
woven every body effectively effectively every body
throughout paragraph, woven woven paragraph,
every body with ideas throughout throughout with ideas
paragraph, always related every body every body always related
with ideas back to thesis paragraph, paragraph, back to thesis
always related in order to with ideas with ideas in order to
back to thesis prove the always related always related prove the
in order to central claim. back to thesis back to thesis central claim.
prove the in order to in order to
central claim. prove the prove the
central claim. central claim.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Examples & creatively ) Contains demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Details demonstrated) effective, but a couple but multiple Contains
Your score: 4 Contains specific, errors exist) errors exist) effective,
effective, relevant Contains Contains specific,
specific, examples and effective, effective, relevant
 Veach 7

relevant details to back specific, specific, examples and

examples and up major relevant relevant details to back
details to back claims in each examples and examples and up major
up major body details to back details to back claims in each
claims in each paragraph. up major up major body
body claims in each claims in each paragraph.
paragraph. body body
paragraph. paragraph.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Reflection of creatively ) Clear demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Evidence demonstrated) reflection on but a couple but multiple reflection on
Your score: 3 Clear reflection the evidence is errors exist) errors exist) the evidence is
on the referenced Clear reflection Clear reflection referenced
evidence is from the text on the on the from the text
referenced and thoroughly evidence is evidence is and thoroughly
from the text and clearly referenced referenced and clearly
and thoroughly explained to from the text from the text explained to
and clearly the audience. and thoroughly and thoroughly the audience.
explained to and clearly and clearly
the audience. explained to explained to
the audience. the audience.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Analysis of creativiely ) Clear and demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Text demonstrated) accurate but a couple but multiple and accurate
Your score: 3 Clear and analysis of the errors exist) errors exist) analysis of the
accurate literature using Clear and Clear and literature using
analysis of the the chosen accurate accurate the chosen
literature using criticism. analysis of the analysis of the criticism.
the chosen literature using literature using
criticism. the chosen the chosen
criticism. criticism.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Consideration creatively ) demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
of Prompt demonstrated) Demonstrates but a couple but multiple Demonstrates
Your score: 4 Demonstrates thoughtful errors exist) errors exist) thoughtful
thoughtful consideration Demonstrates Demonstrates consideration
consideration of the task & thoughtful thoughtful of the task &
of the task & thoroughly consideration consideration thoroughly
thoroughly answers the of the task & of the task & answers the
answers the prompt or thoroughly thoroughly prompt or
prompt or assignment answers the answers the assignment
assignment requirements. prompt or prompt or requirements.
requirements. assignment assignment
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requirements. requirements.

W. 1. f: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Rephrase creatively ) Conclusion demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Thesis demonstrated) restates thesis but a couple but multiple Conclusion
Your score: 4 Conclusion and supports errors exist) errors exist) restates thesis
restates thesis the claims in Conclusion Conclusion and supports
and supports the essay. restates thesis restates thesis the claims in
the claims in and supports and supports the essay.
the essay. the claims in the claims in
the essay. the essay.

W. 1. f: So (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

What creatively ) Conclusion demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Your score: 4 demonstrated) offers closure but a couple but multiple Conclusion
Conclusion and leaves the errors exist) errors exist) offers closure
offers closure reader thinking Conclusion Conclusion and leaves the
and leaves the by answering offers closure offers closure reader thinking
reader thinking the “So What?” and leaves the and leaves the by answering
by answering question. The reader thinking reader thinking the “So What?”
the “So What?” significance by answering by answering question. The
question. The the major claim the “So What?” the “So What?” significance
significance is clear to the question. The question. The the major claim
the major claim reader. significance significance is clear to the
is clear to the the major claim the major claim reader.
reader. is clear to the is clear to the
reader. reader.

L. 2: Sentence (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Complexity/Var creatively ) Sentence demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
iety demonstrated) variety is but a couple but multiple Sentence
Your score: 4 Sentence effective and errors exist) errors exist) variety is
variety is sophisticated. Sentence Sentence effective and
effective and variety is variety is sophisticated.
sophisticated. effective and effective and
sophisticated. sophisticated.

W. 1. e: Style (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

& Tone creatively ) A formal style demonstrate, demonstrate, made) A
Your score: 3 demonstrated) and objective but a couple but multiple formal style
A formal style tone is errors exist) A errors exist) A and objective
and objective established formal style formal style tone is
tone is and and objective and objective established
established maintained. tone is tone is and
and Writing is established established maintained.
 Veach 9

maintained. clear, concise, and and Writing is

Writing is and strong. maintained. maintained. clear, concise,
clear, concise, Writing is Writing is and strong.
and strong. clear, concise, clear, concise,
and strong. and strong.

W. 1. d: Word (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Choice creatively ) Word demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Word
Your score: 3 demonstrated) choice/vocabul but a couple but multiple choice/vocabul
Word ary is errors exist) errors exist) ary is
choice/vocabul sophisticated Word Word sophisticated
ary is and effective. choice/vocabul choice/vocabul and effective.
sophisticated ary is ary is
and effective. sophisticated sophisticated
and effective. and effective.

L. 2: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Capitalization creatively ) Sentences demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
& Punctuation demonstrated) demonstrate but a couple but multiple Sentences
Your score: 3 Sentences correct errors exist) errors exist) demonstrate
demonstrate punctuation Sentences Sentences correct
correct and demonstrate demonstrate punctuation
punctuation capitalization. correct correct and
and punctuation punctuation capitalization.
capitalization. and and
capitalization. capitalization.

L. 2: Spelling & (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

RO/Frag creatively ) There are no demonstrate, demonstrate, made) There
Your score: 3 demonstrated) spelling errors, but a couple but multiple are no spelling
There are no run-ons, and/or errors exist) errors exist) errors, run-
spelling errors, fragments. There are no There are no ons, and/or
run-ons, and/or spelling errors, spelling errors, fragments.
fragments. run-ons, and/or run-ons, and/or
fragments. fragments.

L. 1: Usage (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 3 creatively ) Correct and demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Correct
demonstrated) consistent verb but a couple but multiple and consistent
Correct and tense is errors exist) errors exist) verb tense is
consistent verb present; words Correct and Correct and present; words
tense is are used consistent verb consistent verb are used
present; words correctly. tense is tense is correctly.
are used present; words present; words
 Veach 10

correctly. are used are used

correctly. correctly.

W. 8: Relevant (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Information creatively ) The quotes demonstrate, demonstrate, made) The
Your score: 4 demonstrated) used in each but a couple but multiple quotes used in
The quotes body errors exist) errors exist) each body
used in each paragraph are The quotes The paragraph are
body relevant and used in each information relevant and
paragraph are effectively body from research effectively
relevant and support the paragraph are used in each support the
effectively thesis and the relevant and body thesis and the
support the claims. effectively paragraph are claims.
thesis and the support the relevant and
claims. thesis and the effectively
claims. support the
thesis and the
claims.

W. 8: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Integrating creatively ) Information demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Information demonstrated) from the text is but a couple but multiple Information
Your score: 4 Information integrated into errors exist) errors exist) from the tex is
from the text is the essay Information Information integrated into
integrated into selectively to from the texh from the tex is the essay
the essay maintain the is integrated integrated into selectively to
selectively to flow of ideas, into the essay the essay maintain the
maintain the avoiding selectively to selectively to flow of ideas,
flow of ideas, plagiarism, and maintain the maintain the avoiding
avoiding overreliance flow of ideas, flow of ideas, plagiarism, and
plagiarism, and on the text. avoiding avoiding overreliance
overreliance plagiarism, and plagiarism, and on the text.
on the text. overreliance overreliance
on the text. on the text.

W. 8: Citations (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 2 creatively ) Each demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Each
demonstrated) quote/paraphra but a couple but multiple quote/paraphra
Each se is errors exist) errors exist) se is
quote/paraphra appropriately Each Each appropriately
se is cited using in- quote/paraphra quote/paraphra cited using in-
appropriately text citations. se is se is text citations.
cited using in- appropriately appropriately
text citations. cited using in- cited using in-
text citations. text citations.
 Veach 11

L. 3: MLA (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Format creatively ) Paper is demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Paper is
Your score: 4 demonstrated) formatted but a couple but multiple formatted
Paper is according to errors exist) errors exist) according to
formatted MLA Paper is Paper is MLA
according to guidelines, formatted formatted guidelines,
MLA including: according to according to including:
guidelines, heading with MLA MLA heading with
including: name, teacher, guidelines, guidelines, name, teacher,
heading with class & period, including: including: class & period,
name, teacher, and date, heading with heading with and date,
class & period, centered title, name, teacher, name, teacher, centered title,
and date, and correctly class & period, class & period, and correctly
centered title, formatted and date, and date, formatted
and correctly paragraphs. centered title, centered title, paragraphs.
formatted and correctly and correctly
paragraphs. formatted formatted
paragraphs. paragraphs.

Comments:
Total: 0/100 *Missing works cited page must be added.

You have a good start here. The essay is well organized and you're doing a good job looking at
the film from this lens. Some of the sentences are awkward and there are a few spelling, usage,
and punctuation errors throughout the essay. Overall, you're making clear claims and you're
pointing out examples from the movie, which is good. You do need to take it a step further and
explain what is to be learned, what conclusion is to be drawn, from the movie by looking at this
evidence. You start to do this at the end, but it should be more clear in each paragraph.
Rubric rating submitted on: 5/8/2018, 10:22:33 AM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org
4 3 2 1 0

W.1.a: Hook (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively ) Introduction demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
demonstrated) paragraph but a couple but multiple Introduction
Introduction captures the errors exist) errors exist) paragraph
paragraph reader's Introduction Introduction captures the
captures the attention. paragraph paragraph reader's
reader's captures the captures the attention.
attention. reader's reader's
attention. attention.

W.1. a: Intro (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt) A

 Veach 12

Summary creatively ) A brief demonstrate, demonstrate, brief summary

Your score: 4 demonstrated) summary of but a couple but multiple of the text(s)
A brief the text(s) errors exist) A errors exist) A analyzed is
summary of analyzed is brief summary brief summary given to
the text(s) given to of the text(s) of the text(s) anticipate the
analyzed is anticipate the analyzed is analyzed is reader's
given to reader's given to given to knowledge
anticipate the knowledge anticipate the anticipate the level--no more
reader's level--no more reader's reader's than a couple
knowledge than a couple knowledge knowledge sentences.
level--no more sentences. level--no more level--no more
than a couple than a couple than a couple
sentences. sentences. sentences.

W. 1.a: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt)

Introduce creatively ) Intro demonstrate, demonstrate, Intro
Claims demonstrated) paragraph but a couple but multiple paragraph
Your score: 4 Intro clearly errors exist) errors clearly
paragraph introduces the Intro exist)Intro introduces the
clearly claims of the paragraph paragraph claims of the
introduces the body clearly clearly body
claims of the paragraphs. introduces the introduces the paragraphs.
body claims of the claims of the
paragraphs. body body
paragraphs. paragraphs.

W.1.a: Thesis (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted, (Attempted, (no attempt

Your score: 3 creatively ) The last but a couple but multiple made) The last
demonstrated) sentence is a errors exist) errors exist) sentence is a
The last thesis The last The last thesis
sentence is a statement that sentence is a sentence is a statement that
thesis is clear, thesis thesis is clear,
statement that sophisticated, statement that statement that sophisticated,
is clear, and insightful. is clear, is clear, and insightful.
sophisticated, sophisticated, sophisticated,
and insightful. and insightful. and insightful.

W. 1. a: Topic (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted, (Attempted, (No attempt

Sentences creatively ) Each body but a couple but multiple made) Each
Your score: 3 demonstrated) paragraph errors exist) errors exist) body
Each body begins with a Each body Each body paragraph
paragraph clear, paragraph paragraph begins with a
begins with a sophisticated, begins with a begins with a clear,
clear, and insightful clear, clear, sophisticated,
sophisticated, topic sentence. sophisticated, sophisticated, and insightful
and insightful and insightful and insightful topic sentence.
topic sentence. topic sentence. topic sentence.
 Veach 13

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Organization & creatively ) Claims, demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Claims,
Sequencing demonstrated) counterclaims, but a couple but multiple counterclaims,
Your score: 4 Claims, reasons, and errors exist) errors reasons, and
counterclaims, evidence are Claims, exist)Claims, evidence are
reasons, and effectively counterclaims, counterclaims, effectively
evidence are structured and reasons, and reasons, and structured and
effectively organized in a evidence are evidence are organized in a
structured and logical effectively effectively logical
organized in a sequence. structured and structured and sequence.
logical organized in a organized in a
sequence. logical logical
sequence. sequence.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Literary creatively ) Clear demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Criticism demonstrated) explanation of but a couple but multiple explanation of
Your score: 4 Clear the criticism errors exist) errors exist) the criticism
explanation of being used. Clear Clear being used.
the criticism explanation of explanation of
being used. the criticism the criticism
being used. being used.

W. 1. c: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Transitions creatively ) Thoughtful demonstrate, demonstrate, made)Thoughtf
Your score: 4 demonstrated) progression of but a couple but multiple ul progression
Thoughtful ideas and errors exist) errors exist) of ideas and
progression of details with Thoughtful Thoughtful details with
ideas and sound progression of progression of sound
details with transitions to ideas and ideas and transitions to
sound show details with details with show
transitions to connection sound sound connection
show between points transitions to transitions to between points
connection and show show and
between points paragraphs. connection connection paragraphs.
and between points between points
paragraphs. and and
paragraphs. paragraphs.

W. 1. b: Focus (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively ) Maintains a demonstrate, demonstrate, made)Maintain
demonstrated) consistent but a couple but multiple s a consistent
Maintains a focus errors exist) errors exist) focus
consistent throughout. Maintains a Maintains a throughout.
focus Thesis is consistent consistent Thesis is
 Veach 14

throughout. effectively focus focus effectively

Thesis is woven throughout. throughout. woven
effectively throughout Thesis is Thesis is throughout
woven every body effectively effectively every body
throughout paragraph, woven woven paragraph,
every body with ideas throughout throughout with ideas
paragraph, always related every body every body always related
with ideas back to thesis paragraph, paragraph, back to thesis
always related in order to with ideas with ideas in order to
back to thesis prove the always related always related prove the
in order to central claim. back to thesis back to thesis central claim.
prove the in order to in order to
central claim. prove the prove the
central claim. central claim.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Examples & creatively ) Contains demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Details demonstrated) effective, but a couple but multiple Contains
Your score: 4 Contains specific, errors exist) errors exist) effective,
effective, relevant Contains Contains specific,
specific, examples and effective, effective, relevant
relevant details to back specific, specific, examples and
examples and up major relevant relevant details to back
details to back claims in each examples and examples and up major
up major body details to back details to back claims in each
claims in each paragraph. up major up major body
body claims in each claims in each paragraph.
paragraph. body body
paragraph. paragraph.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Reflection of creatively ) Clear demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Evidence demonstrated) reflection on but a couple but multiple reflection on
Your score: 3 Clear reflection the evidence is errors exist) errors exist) the evidence is
on the referenced Clear reflection Clear reflection referenced
evidence is from the text on the on the from the text
referenced and thoroughly evidence is evidence is and thoroughly
from the text and clearly referenced referenced and clearly
and thoroughly explained to from the text from the text explained to
and clearly the audience. and thoroughly and thoroughly the audience.
explained to and clearly and clearly
the audience. explained to explained to
the audience. the audience.
 Veach 15

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Analysis of creativiely ) Clear and demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Clear
Text demonstrated) accurate but a couple but multiple and accurate
Your score: 3 Clear and analysis of the errors exist) errors exist) analysis of the
accurate literature using Clear and Clear and literature using
analysis of the the chosen accurate accurate the chosen
literature using criticism. analysis of the analysis of the criticism.
the chosen literature using literature using
criticism. the chosen the chosen
criticism. criticism.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Consideration creatively ) demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
of Prompt demonstrated) Demonstrates but a couple but multiple Demonstrates
Your score: 4 Demonstrates thoughtful errors exist) errors exist) thoughtful
thoughtful consideration Demonstrates Demonstrates consideration
consideration of the task & thoughtful thoughtful of the task &
of the task & thoroughly consideration consideration thoroughly
thoroughly answers the of the task & of the task & answers the
answers the prompt or thoroughly thoroughly prompt or
prompt or assignment answers the answers the assignment
assignment requirements. prompt or prompt or requirements.
requirements. assignment assignment
requirements. requirements.

W. 1. f: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Rephrase creatively ) Conclusion demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Thesis demonstrated) restates thesis but a couple but multiple Conclusion
Your score: 4 Conclusion and supports errors exist) errors exist) restates thesis
restates thesis the claims in Conclusion Conclusion and supports
and supports the essay. restates thesis restates thesis the claims in
the claims in and supports and supports the essay.
the essay. the claims in the claims in
the essay. the essay.

W. 1. f: So (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

What creatively ) Conclusion demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Your score: 4 demonstrated) offers closure but a couple but multiple Conclusion
Conclusion and leaves the errors exist) errors exist) offers closure
offers closure reader thinking Conclusion Conclusion and leaves the
and leaves the by answering offers closure offers closure reader thinking
reader thinking the “So What?” and leaves the and leaves the by answering
by answering question. The reader thinking reader thinking the “So What?”
the “So What?” significance by answering by answering question. The
question. The the major claim the “So What?” the “So What?” significance
significance is clear to the question. The question. The the major claim
the major claim reader. significance significance is clear to the
 Veach 16

is clear to the the major claim the major claim reader.

reader. is clear to the is clear to the
reader. reader.

L. 2: Sentence (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Complexity/Var creatively ) Sentence demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
iety demonstrated) variety is but a couple but multiple Sentence
Your score: 4 Sentence effective and errors exist) errors exist) variety is
variety is sophisticated. Sentence Sentence effective and
effective and variety is variety is sophisticated.
sophisticated. effective and effective and
sophisticated. sophisticated.

W. 1. e: Style (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

& Tone creatively ) A formal style demonstrate, demonstrate, made) A
Your score: 3 demonstrated) and objective but a couple but multiple formal style
A formal style tone is errors exist) A errors exist) A and objective
and objective established formal style formal style tone is
tone is and and objective and objective established
established maintained. tone is tone is and
and Writing is established established maintained.
maintained. clear, concise, and and Writing is
Writing is and strong. maintained. maintained. clear, concise,
clear, concise, Writing is Writing is and strong.
and strong. clear, concise, clear, concise,
and strong. and strong.

W. 1. d: Word (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Choice creatively ) Word demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Word
Your score: 3 demonstrated) choice/vocabul but a couple but multiple choice/vocabul
Word ary is errors exist) errors exist) ary is
choice/vocabul sophisticated Word Word sophisticated
ary is and effective. choice/vocabul choice/vocabul and effective.
sophisticated ary is ary is
and effective. sophisticated sophisticated
and effective. and effective.

L. 2: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Capitalization creatively ) Sentences demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
& Punctuation demonstrated) demonstrate but a couple but multiple Sentences
Your score: 3 Sentences correct errors exist) errors exist) demonstrate
demonstrate punctuation Sentences Sentences correct
correct and demonstrate demonstrate punctuation
punctuation capitalization. correct correct and
 Veach 17

and punctuation punctuation capitalization.

capitalization. and and
capitalization. capitalization.

L. 2: Spelling & (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

RO/Frag creatively ) There are no demonstrate, demonstrate, made) There
Your score: 3 demonstrated) spelling errors, but a couple but multiple are no spelling
There are no run-ons, and/or errors exist) errors exist) errors, run-
spelling errors, fragments. There are no There are no ons, and/or
run-ons, and/or spelling errors, spelling errors, fragments.
fragments. run-ons, and/or run-ons, and/or
fragments. fragments.

L. 1: Usage (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 3 creatively ) Correct and demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Correct
demonstrated) consistent verb but a couple but multiple and consistent
Correct and tense is errors exist) errors exist) verb tense is
consistent verb present; words Correct and Correct and present; words
tense is are used consistent verb consistent verb are used
present; words correctly. tense is tense is correctly.
are used present; words present; words
correctly. are used are used
correctly. correctly.

W. 8: Relevant (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Information creatively ) The quotes demonstrate, demonstrate, made) The
Your score: 4 demonstrated) used in each but a couple but multiple quotes used in
The quotes body errors exist) errors exist) each body
used in each paragraph are The quotes The paragraph are
body relevant and used in each information relevant and
paragraph are effectively body from research effectively
relevant and support the paragraph are used in each support the
effectively thesis and the relevant and body thesis and the
support the claims. effectively paragraph are claims.
thesis and the support the relevant and
claims. thesis and the effectively
claims. support the
thesis and the
claims.

W. 8: (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Integrating creatively ) Information demonstrate, demonstrate, made)
Information demonstrated) from the text is but a couple but multiple Information
 Veach 18

Your score: 4 Information integrated into errors exist) errors exist) from the tex is
from the text is the essay Information Information integrated into
integrated into selectively to from the texh from the tex is the essay
the essay maintain the is integrated integrated into selectively to
selectively to flow of ideas, into the essay the essay maintain the
maintain the avoiding selectively to selectively to flow of ideas,
flow of ideas, plagiarism, and maintain the maintain the avoiding
avoiding overreliance flow of ideas, flow of ideas, plagiarism, and
plagiarism, and on the text. avoiding avoiding overreliance
overreliance plagiarism, and plagiarism, and on the text.
on the text. overreliance overreliance
on the text. on the text.

W. 8: Citations (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 2 creatively ) Each demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Each
demonstrated) quote/paraphra but a couple but multiple quote/paraphra
Each se is errors exist) errors exist) se is
quote/paraphra appropriately Each Each appropriately
se is cited using in- quote/paraphra quote/paraphra cited using in-
appropriately text citations. se is se is text citations.
cited using in- appropriately appropriately
text citations. cited using in- cited using in-
text citations. text citations.

L. 3: MLA (Fully and (Demonstrated (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Format creatively ) Paper is demonstrate, demonstrate, made) Paper is
Your score: 4 demonstrated) formatted but a couple but multiple formatted
Paper is according to errors exist) errors exist) according to
formatted MLA Paper is Paper is MLA
according to guidelines, formatted formatted guidelines,
MLA including: according to according to including:
guidelines, heading with MLA MLA heading with
including: name, teacher, guidelines, guidelines, name, teacher,
heading with class & period, including: including: class & period,
name, teacher, and date, heading with heading with and date,
class & period, centered title, name, teacher, name, teacher, centered title,
and date, and correctly class & period, class & period, and correctly
centered title, formatted and date, and date, formatted
and correctly paragraphs. centered title, centered title, paragraphs.
formatted and correctly and correctly
paragraphs. formatted formatted
paragraphs. paragraphs.

Comments:
Total: 89/100
 Veach 19

You have a good start here. The essay is well organized and you're doing a good job looking at
the film from this lens. Some of the sentences are awkward and there are a few spelling, usage,
and punctuation errors throughout the essay. Overall, you're making clear claims and you're
pointing out examples from the movie, which is good. You do need to take it a step further and
explain what is to be learned, what conclusion is to be drawn, from the movie by looking at this
evidence. You start to do this at the end, but it should be more clear in each paragraph.