7 Skills to improve how we

cope
Skills for Managing ! Skill #1 Mindfulness
Stress and Anxiety ! Skill #2 Ways of Thinking
2015-2016
! Skill #3 Relaxation
COUNSELLING.SERVICE@MCGILL.CA ! Skill #4 Goal Setting
! Skill #5 Problem Solving
! Skill #6 Communication
! Skill #7 Social Support

Goal Setting – Skill #4

! Being mindful
everyday Benefits of Goal Setting:
1. Daily Schedule
! Relaxation 2. Establish Priorities

! Identifying and
3. Accomplishing Tasks
4. Clears Thinking
labeling the facts, 5. Self Esteem and Self Confidence
thoughts and 6. Re-affirms the Future

feelings (daily) 7. Meaning and Purpose

8. Better Use of Imagination
! Reframe thoughts 9. Sense of Being and Belonging
Values and Goals Goal Setting

! Goals vs. Values • Personal Growth

• Wellbeing
VALUE

! Attainable vs.
Direction • I will become a part time yoga instructor
• 3 years
! Goals are SMART Long Term
GOAL

! Specific
• Complete yoga teacher training (place, type, etc.)
! Measurable Short Term
GOAL
• 2 years

! Achievable
• I will practice yoga 3x/week
! Realistic Shorter Term • 1 year
GOAL

! Time-Related
• Buy a yoga mat --> Today
ACTION • Join a yoga studio --> This week
STEPS

Problem Solving – Skill #5 Problem Solving Steps

! Coping is active problem-solving
Define the problem
! Action-based
! Emotional
! Both Recognize how you feel about the
problem. Accept these feelings

! When we are stressed by events, we are unable to be good

problem-solvers. Relax and take time out

! Stress ! Negatively impact cognitive functioning

Consider all possible solutions

! Problem Solving Steps
! Guide you to solutions in times of stress
Imagine how others might solve this
! Following a “Recipe” problem
Problem Solving Steps: Problem solving example
Continued… to practice
Evaluate the pros and cons of
each possible solution

Arrange the list of solutions

in order of practicality

Make a choice

Can you think about this

problem differently?

Communication – Skill #6 Assertive Communication

}
• 7 % Verbal
• 35 % Facial
Expression
• 35 % Body
Language
• 23 % Tone Of • Your feelings are legitimate.
Voice • You have the right to ask questions and to state your own feelings.
• It is OK to negotiate for change.
• It is your right to set boundaries, to say “No.”
• You know better than anyone what you think, feel, and want.
Good communication when
Disagreeing
“I” statements
Step 1. Listen and find some truth in what the other ! “I” messages have 3 parts:
person is saying. • I think

Step 2. Listen and put yourself in the other person’s • I feel

shoes and try to see the world through his or her
eyes.
Step 3. Listen and ask gentle, probing questions to
learn more about what the other person is
thinking and feeling.
Step 4. Find something positive to say to the other
person.
Step 5. Express your feelings with “I” statements.
• I want
! “I” messages are used to:
A. Disclose thoughts, feelings and wants
B. Assert self: say yes/no
C. Prevent disappointment in the future

Saying “No” Social Support – Skill #7

Benefits of Social
Support:
Emotional
Brevity is crucial Support
• Increased Health
• Decreased
Friends psychiatric
Practical symptoms
Use the actual word, "No." Support
• Decreased
depression
• Increased length of
life (more important
Broken record technique than smoking,
drinking, exercise,
and eating well)
• Increased disease
resistance
Sources of Social Support Risks Associated With
Asking For Social Support
! List the people you would turn to for emotional
support: • threat to self-esteem
• embarrassment
• fear of being seen as dependent on others
! List the people you would turn to for practical • possibility of rejection by others
help:
• guilt
• possible loss of confidentiality
• lack of comfort in accepting support from others

Offering Social Support to Impact of Social Support

Others
7 Skills to improve how we Reference
cope Mastering the art of coping in good times & bad
! Linda Edgar
! Skill #1 Mindfulness
! Skill #2 Ways of Thinking
! Skill #3 Relaxation
! Skill #4 Goal Setting
! Skill #5 Problem Solving
! Skill #6 Communication
! Skill #7 Social Support

Evaluation Forms
COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, CONCERNS