Dads & K ids Playg roup • Page 13

J une 7–J une 20, 2018

Way To Go!

CLASS of
2018

IN THIS ISSUE:
Students Shine at Montpelier High School
Pg. 4 Taylor Street
Breaks Ground
Graduation by Sarah Davin

Pg. 7 Parklets or Parking?

G
raduation gowns are surprisingly uncomfortable to wear
outside. They usually come in dark colors, meaning that
Pg. 14 LNT Presents on that beautiful summer day, these human-enveloping
tarps absorb the heat of the sun and hold it close to the human
Urinetown body. Over the course of the long ceremony, as the principal reads
through all of the last names, from A to agonizing Z, the cap and
gown become slippery with the sensation of sweat running down
the body.
U.S. Postage PAID
one guest speaker, MHS’s graduation sees several student speakers
and performers, including student musicians and dancers. That’s
important to Belanger, who discussed the importance of the
students being the main focus of the ceremony. “Our idea around
graduation is that it is for the students,” she explains. “Our goal is
to make a fun, memorable graduation for them. Having said that,
they are the graduation program. They nominate their fellow
students to do speeches, perform, or to read poems. It is a night

that really represents our student body.”

Permit NO. 123
Montpelier, VT

With that in mind, I pass on the advice I received from a beloved

PRSRT STD
ECRWSS

teacher before my own graduation: First, if you can, bring water.
Second, If your gown is a dark color, wear more dark colors
underneath as the dye from the gown can wreck any light-colored
outfit of colors.
But this preparation for students pales in comparison the schools’,
who are essentially throwing the biggest event of the year and
must get all its many moving parts in perfect alignment. That’s
hard enough to do for 10 people, much less the 800 expected
attendees. Plus, Montpelier High School (MHS) has to squeeze
it all into a budget of $4,200, which will cover the costs of the
diplomas, chair rentals, sound system services, and printing
programs
Leading the effort is Valerie Belanger, the administrative assistant
and co-senior advisor of MHS. This will be her 19th year
planning graduations at the high school, and 87 students will
Montpelier, VT 05601
Before the big day, the school staff has a lot of work to do. A
graduation committee is formed. Co-senior advisors Heather
McLane, who is also a social studies teacher, and Valerie Belanger
meet with the seniors to discuss what they would like to see
happen at their graduation. The students nominate their student
speakers and performers, and music teachers, Kirk Kreitz, Hilary
Goldblatt, and Molly Clark help the students prepare for their
performances, with two mandatory rehearsals prior to graduation.
On the day of the graduation, Tom Allen and his custodial crew
will be in overdrive, setting up chairs, bleachers, and the music
section; arranging the flowers on the stage—many donated from
from parents’ gardens—not to mention tackling the immense
clean up afterward. (If you wish to donate flowers to decorate the
stage this year, please email Valerie Belanger at valerie@mpsvt.
org).

cross the stage to receive diplomas—outdoors on the sports field The planning doesn’t end with the graduation ceremony itself. In
if the weather permits or indoors in the gym—at MHS on Friday, the days leading up to graduation, seniors take part in events like
June 15th, at 5 pm. The ceremony will last until 6:45 pm, granted Senior Breakfast, an awards assembly, and a school-wide picnic.
P.O. Box 1143

that the length of graduation depends somewhat on the duration After graduation, the seniors will be going on their Project Grad
The Bridge

of the speeches and performances. trip—this year to Spare Time Entertainment in Colchester. Once
Indeed, the perfomances are part of what makes a graduation at there, seniors can spend the night bowling, getting massages and
MHS unique. Unlike a majority of graduations, which feature Continued on Page 5

We’re online! montpelierbridge.com or vtbridge.com

PAG E 2 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Nature Watch by Nona Estrin

Time for Babies

B
irds catch my eye; a robin, beak-full, flies by;
great crested flycatchers are active in the canopy,
“Wrrreeep! Wrrreep!” It’s baby bird month! Baby
animals too! Everywhere, the business is raising young,
be it birds or foxes, and with birds, the ratio of success
is tough. Our phoebes raise two broods—eight young,
each year to get a couple which will return from
southern Mexico next year to nest on our porch.

Watercolor by Nona Estrin

T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 3

HEARD ON THE STREET

12th Annual Carolan Festival
June 16 marks the 12th annual Carolan Festival, held at
Mallery Farm in Worcester. The day-long tribute to the famed
blind Irish harper, Turlough Carolan (1670-1738), features open
sessions, workshops, and participatory dance and performances
in English and Scottish country, Irish step and Ceili, Morris,
waltzing. There will also be performances by Young Tradition
Vermont Fiddleheads and harp students, with Dominique
Dodge; as well as Benedict Koehler, and Hilari Farrington,
who lead the weekly Saturday Irish trad session at Bagitos in
Montpelier. Rain or Shine. Please no dogs. Suggested Donation
$10/person, $20/family
Go to carolanfestvt.com for more info, including a detailed
schedule of events. carolanfestvt@gmail.com or (802) 229-9468
Todd the Barber Opens Studio on Court Street
Former chief stylist of Myles Court, Todd Wheeler, has gone
solo and opened his own salon at 17 Court Street. Although
he’s only been in Montpelier for three years, his experience
as a master level barber stretches more than 30. Trained by
his father David, barber to the stars in Hollywood (check
out the photo of his dad snipping Robert De Niro and
Leonardo Dicaprio), Todd specializes in men’s haircuts and
customizing a look unique to the client as well as offering old
school shaving. The shop is open Thursday to Tuesday, and
cuts begin at $15. thebarbertodd.com.
Emerald Ash Borer Quarantine
Shortly after publication of “Dot's Beat” alerting our
community to the threat of the Emerald Ash Borer (EAB),
the State of Vermont was put under an EAB quarantine,
with Montpelier being an especially high risk area.
A week later EAB was found in Montpelier. In areas
around Central Vermont where the presence of EAB
has been detected, including Plainfield, Groton, Calais,
Williamstown, Washington, Barre, and now Montpelier,
motorists may find flashing road signs reading “Don’t
move ash firewood beyond this point.” The greatest risk
of transporting the EAB lies in the moving of firewood.
Check out vtinvasives.org for more information on the
signs and symptoms of the EAB.
Women Painting Women Exhibition at
Helen Day Art Center
For centuries, painting, and particularly figurative
painting, has been dominated by the male artist, often
using women as his muse and painting her in his idealized
image of young, beautiful, passive and sensual.
Inspired by the #MeToo Movement, a new exhibition,
Reclamation, at the Helen Day Art Center in Stowe seeks
to contribute to righting the course of our history by
claiming artspace for women and reclaiming their image.
It also celebrates the power and achievement of this group
of exceptional artists.
The exhibition features nationally-acclaimed,
contemporary figurative women artists—including
Hung Lui, Margaret Bowland, Aleah Chapin, Lee Price,
Colleen Barry—painting women from their perspective,
reclaiming and transforming the way women are
portrayed.
The exhibition, curated by August Burns and Diane
Feissel, runs June 15–September 8.
Poor People’s Campaign to Continue
at the Vermont State House
Here in Montpelier, Vermont’s Poor People’s Campaign:
“A National Call for a Moral Revival” moves into its fifth
week on June 11, 2018. During the Campaign’s “40-Day
Season of Action” in Vermont, the Poor People’s Campaign
has gathered on the steps of the Vermont State House every
Monday since May 14. The purpose of the campaign is
to end poverty, systemic racism, the war economy and
ecological destruction. The campaign in Vermont acts
simultaneous with actions in 36 other states, making this a
national movement.
On June 11, 2018, the Poor People’s Campaign in Vermont
join the faculty of the Community Colleges of Vermont as
the faculty bargain for a new contract with the Vermont
State College system. A rally to support the CCV faculty
will begin at the offices of the Vermont State College system
at 575 Stone Cutters Way in Montpelier beginning at 1:30
pm. Then at 2 pm, the rally participants will march to the
Vermont State House for the second half of the rally, which
begins at 2:30 pm. Poor People’s Campaign spokesperson
Ed Koopercamp said the general theme of the rally can be
expressed in these words, “Everybody’s got a right to live–
living wages, guaranteed income, housing, and education.”
On June 18 at 2 pm. the final Vermont action of the 40-
Day “Season of Action” will once again take place on the
Vermont State House steps.
For more information, please see:
National: poorpeoplescampign.org;
Vermont: poorpeoplescampaignvt.org;
Facebook: facebook.com/VTPPC/

Bridge Community Media, Inc.

P.O. Box 1143, Montpelier, VT 05601 / Ph: 802-223-5112
Editor & Publisher: Nat Frothingham
Managing Editor: Mike Dunphy
Copy Editor: Larry Floersch
Layout, Calendar Editor: Marichel Vaught
Proofreader, Calendar Editor: Sarah Davin
Sales Representative: Rick McMahan
Distribution: Sarah Davin, Amy Lester,
Daniel Renfro
Board Members: Chairman Donny Osman, Jake
Brown, Phil Dodd, Josh Fitzhugh, Irene Racz, Ivan
Shadis, Tim Simard, Ashley Witzenberger
Editorial: 223-5112, ext. 14
mdunphy@montpelierbridge.com
Location: The Bridge office is located at the
Vermont College of Fine Arts, Stone Science Hall.
Subscriptions: You can receive The Bridge by mail
for $50 a year. Make out your check to The Bridge,
and mail to The Bridge, PO Box 1143, Montpelier
VT 05601.
montpelierbridge.com
facebook.com/thebridgenewspapervt
Twitter: @montpbridge
Copyright 2018 by The Bridge

Photo by Sarah Davin

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Donations may also be made online at montpelierbridge.com
PAG E 4 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE
Taylor Street Breaks New Ground
by Lené Gary
M
ay 29, 2018 marked the end of
a decades-long proverbial winter.
Under bluebird skies,
U.S. Senator Patrick Leahy and Gov. Phil
Scott joined Montpelier Mayor Anne
Watson and many others in a jubilant
groundbreaking celebration at the future
site of the 1 Taylor Street Project.
Laughter and smiles came easily as
community members mingled with housing
and transportation advocates and elected
officials. Phones were lifted high in the
clear May air by those wanting to record
this historic moment, years in the making.
Some viewers took to standing on large
rocks lining the edge of the parking lot to
get a better view.
Speeches were littered with moments of
nostalgia for what Montpelier has offered its
residents, or the speaker, over the years, and
each ended on a note of hope for what this
transit center promises the city and state’s
future.
“Today we celebrate a major milestone for
the One Taylor Street project,” Montpelier
Mayor Anne Watson told the crowd. “It is a
day that we start to see the tangible fruits of
our labor—the labor of many community
and state and federal partners.”
Watson also espoused the benefits of the
center’s location for its residents, including
the ease of access it provides to Montpelier’s
recreation path and to buses servicing St.
Johnsbury and Burlington. Green Mountain
Transit General Manager Mark A. Sousa
also spoke, focusing on how the partnership
between GMT and the City of Montpelier
will benefit Central Vermonters.
The collaborative energy and shared sense
of joy between Kathy Beyer, Vice President Mayor Anne Watson. Photos by Lené Gary
for Development at Housing Vermont
The morning’s celebration concluded with
and Eileen Peltier, Executive Director of
a jovial hard hat-shovel dig by the most
Downstreet Housing and Community
prominent parties in bringing this project
Development, was unmistakable. “At One
to fruition. As the festivities wound down,
Taylor Street,” she said, “our residents will
the breeze picked up. The scent of lilacs
be able to have a choice to hop on the bus, to
still in bloom sifted gently through a crowd
hop on their bike or drive their car, or even
reluctant to let go of this one fine moment
walk to work."
marking the beginning of a new chapter for
Montpelier.
Includes from left to right: Sen. Patrick Leahy, Gov. Phil Scott, and Mayor Anne Watson
City Manager Bill Fraser
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 5

Thanking Our Readers and Students Shine at Montpelier High

Friends Who Have Been in School Graduation Continued from Page 1
Touch by Nat Frothingham henna tattoos, playing laser tag, and watching a hypnotist show, returning home by
school bus at 5 am. The school hopes it will be a night to remember.
Belanger thanks the support from parents to make this years Project Grad especially
A s part of our April 19 issue,
I wrote a few words about
the rather remarkable grassroots
exciting. She said, “The Project Grad committee has been hard at work fundraising,
and through the efforts of our community parents made a lot of wonderful donations
history of The Bridge. Then I and support.”
went on to describe what I’m Often, graduation is framed as the last step in a four-year journey through high
feeling as I leave the paper. school. This is true, but it is also the beginning of a new path, whatever it may be,
Now, 40 to 50 days after I for all the seniors. “They have a lot of talent to share,” reflected Belanger, “and we’ll
wrote about the paper and why see some of that talent at graduation.” As these students disperse, hopefully they will
we felt we needed a paper, how fondly remember their time at Montpelier High School.
it started, how it sometimes
lurched–even staggered–
forward but stayed alive, I’m
still hearing from people on
the street, sometimes perfect
strangers, or by phone, or in notes, cards, letters–often thanking me–but really
thanking everyone who has worked here, written for us, printed and delivered the paper,
and made it happen over and over again.
We have all heard about that tree that fell in the forest and no-one saw it fall or heard
it fall. Then comes the follow-up question: “Was there a tree in the forest and did it
ever fall?”
Henry David Thoreau wrote that the great mass of men lead lives of “quiet desperation.”
I don’t think that ought to be our fate. And to the extent that we can be alive
and measure each day by the intensity of what surrounds us and what’s beautiful,
mysterious, or enchanting about our lives and prospect in this world–to that extent the
tree did grow in the forest, did put out leaves, did make a mark, and did gloriously fall.
The earliest mission of The Bridge was to celebrate the life and diversity of Montpelier.
We need to celebrate that life and diversity–if someone has ever overcome a disability,
or won an Olympic gold medal, or conquered mathematics (that was always the hardest
subject in school), or started an orchestra or a theater or dance company, or written
a novel, or taken a chance and succeeded on a risky mission, or even confronted
something in the world that wrong and needed to be made right. If none of these things
matter or get noticed, did they ever happen?
To conclude, let me thank everyone who has been in touch or in many other quite
diverse ways has made The Bridge what it is today and what perhaps it can become
tomorrow.

Writing Workshop
Clearing the Hurdles:
Overcome the 15 Stumbling
Blocks that Threaten
Writing Careers
Wednesday, June 13, 2018, 7 pm at Kellogg-Hubbard Library
With Mike Dunphy, Editor in Chief of The Bridge and
writing instructor at the Gotham Writers Workshop.
For many aspiring writers, it’s not a lack of talent that keeps
careers from getting off the ground, but a series of stumbling
blocks that inexperienced writers inevitably trip over.
In this workshop, Mike will identify 15 of these and show
attendees how to navigate or avoid them altogether. Attendees
will also learn a few tricks of the trade to both improve their
general writing abilities and persuade publications to print
(and pay for) their work.
The session begins with a writing exercise, which will be
used throughout, so be sure to bring analog or digital writing
materials. NO REGISTRATION REQUIRED.
PAG E 6 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE
A Message From City Hall
Spring into Action!
T
he whole city is still settling down
after the whirlwind of activity during
Mayfest (May 5–6). That weekend has
become the annual rite for Montpelier to cast
off the winter gloom and show itself off. Green
Up Day, the first outdoor farmers market,
Langdon Street bike swap, Montbeerlier, All
Species Day and more. The Capital City
Classic Ultimate Frisbee Tournament and the
Montpelier High School prom even found
their way into the flurry of events.
Since then, the good weather has brought
many people outdoors engaging in all sorts
of activities like gardening, running, cycling,
shopping and mowing lawns. Just like the
community at large, city government activity
picks up the pace as the weather improves.
This year will be exceptionally busy on many
fronts.
One Taylor Street – The official ground
breaking ceremony for the One Taylor Street
project was held on May 29. Construction
work will begin in earnest this summer with
an expected completion date of Fall 2019.
This project includes a new Transit Center, 30
units of affordable housing, a new multi-use
path and bridge over the North Branch River
and redevelopment of Main Street in the area
which now houses Montpelier Beverage.
Concerns have been expressed about the loss
of the Montpelier Beverage business as part
of this project. City officials understand this
impact and worked very diligently with the
property owner and business owner to find
an alternate location. After nearly two years of
searching, no suitable location with financially
feasible lease rate was found. The business
owner made the decision to keep relocation
funds as a business buyout rather than open
a new space.
Taylor Street – In addition to the One Taylor
Street development project, Taylor Street itself
will be reconstructed with a new streetscape.
The first signs of this work were the recently
completed improvements to the rail crossing.
Caledonia Spirits – The city, state, railroad
and Caledonia Spirits have resolved a major
issue related to rail crossing which clears the
way for construction of the new distillery and
showroom on Barre Street. We don’t have an
exact date from the company but expectations
are that work will begin within the next couple
of months.
Shared Use Path – More commonly known
as a bike path. The path segment running
from Granite Street to Gallison Hill Road has
met all requirements and received all permits.
The project is currently out to bid and will
begin work in July. Some of the work will
be done in conjunction with the Caledonia
Spirits project. This is a two-season project
which means that the path will be open for
use in 2019.
TIF – The City Council approved an
application for a Tax Increment Financing
(TIF) District at their last meeting. The
application will be reviewed by the Vermont
Economic Progress Council. If approved, the
This page was paid for by the City of Montpelier.
TIF district will allow the city to make public
infrastructure improvements which allow for
private development investment.
Several people have inquired whether
approval of the TIF district means that the
city is committed to any particular project or
expenditure, usually asked in the context of
the proposed Hampton Inn hotel and parking
garage. The answer is no. TIF is a financing
tool which may be used when appropriate.
Any projects funded within the TIF program
will be considered independently. In almost all
of those projects, city bonding will be required
and, therefore, such items will be brought
before the voters for consideration.
Infrastructure Maintenance Work–
Consistent with the City Council’s recent
emphasis on infrastructure funding, our
Department of Public Works will be quite
active again this summer.
Water lines on Main Street and Lague Drive
will be repaired. The Main Street line has
been particularly troublesome in recent years
causing school closures and damage to nearby
residents.
Major contracted sidewalk projects will be
underway on College Street and Liberty Street
in conjunction with paving work. There will
be several other smaller sidewalk projects
around town as well. Sidewalk projects on
First Avenue, Tracy Street, and Tremont street
will be completed by DPW crews.
Primary road maintenance efforts this year
will be on Lague Drive, College Street, Liberty
Street, Sherwood Drive and River Street.
Sections of Routes 2 & 302 approaching
the roundabout will also be improved.
The Northfield Street water and sewer line
replacement and road reconstruction project
will continue through this summer to the City
line.
Replacement of the Cummings Street Bridge
will begin this summer as well.
Strategic Planning – The City Council and
leadership staff recently engaged in a two day
strategic planning session to establish priorities
and a work plan for the near future. A goals
setting process has been in place for many
years. With three new council members, two
council members in their first year and a new
mayor; however, we decided that a more full
blown effort was important to capture the
policy direction of this group.
Council workshops were held on the evenings
of May 21 and 22. The evening of the 21st
consisted of just the council discussing their
roles, styles, group norms and perspectives.
That evening ended with the Council
identifying eight strategic outcomes for the
community and organization.
• Improving community prosperity
• Exercising good environmental stewardship
• Maintaining sustainable infrastructure
improvements
• Creating an inclusive, equitable and
welcoming community
• Developing more housing
by William Fraser, City Manager
• Having a thoughtfully planned and built
environment
• Promoting public health and safety
• Operating a responsive and responsible city
government
Several concepts were incorporated into those
overarching strategic outcomes.
Prior to the workshop dates, the Staff
Leadership Team had identified and prioritized
key projects and efforts from their perspective.
During the daytime on the 22nd, the staff
team aligned their proposed work with the
overall strategic outcomes of the Council. The
staff also raised key issues for the Council to
consider. Finally, the staff drafted a mission
statement which combined elements of the
branding exercise done by Montpelier Alive
and a series of organizational values created a
couple of years ago.
That statement, “Serving Montpelier with
integrity is our CRAFT,” was later approved
by the Council. CRAFT is an acronym for the
organizational values Competence, Respect,
Accountability, Fairness, and Teamwork.
The evening of the 22nd was spent with
the Council and staff pulling key elements
of the strategic plan together. In addition to
the mission statement and values, the Council
assigned work to the various strategic areas.
The Council also preliminarily identified
priority items. These priorities may change
when the Council formally adopts the plan but
for now they are:
Top Priority
• Review intended outcomes of the Economic
Development Strategic Plan (EDSP)
and ensure that economic development
outcomes are properly aligned with tools
and strategies.
• Develop a plan for implementing a livable
wage requirement in Montpelier
• Develop resilient designs and standards for
addressing stormwater issues
• Consider non-citizen voting charter change
• Increase parkland and recreational play
areas throughout the city
• Develop a strategy to address housing
shortage and ensure housing for all incomes
and stage of life
• Update city ordinances to ensure
enforceability and develop strategies to
ensure compliance. Unenforced ordinances
should be eliminated or modified.
High Priority
• Incentivize landlords to fill storefronts
• Develop a comprehensive strategy for
achieving net zero goals
• Make tenant rights more apparent –
clearinghouse with info on who to call and
what is not allowed.
• Address deferred maintenance to achieve
steady state for municipal infrastructure
• Approve a plan for housing in Sabin’s
Pasture
Other priorities
• Host racial and social justice workshops
• Establish a racial and social justice committee
• Complete wayfinding sign project
• Work with State and Rail to plan for a
commuter rail
• Prioritize non-fossil fuel based vehicles in
equipment plan
• Develop a policy and strategy for
implementing body-worn cameras in
Montpelier Police Department
• Encourage more resident engagement with
government
• Revise the investment policy to align with
shared values
Finally, the group identified six issues which
require decisions during the budget process:
• Police staffing and training
• Replacement of aging Fire Department
vehicles
• Street light replacement
• ADA transition
• Facility management
• Completion of Community Service
Department integration and staffing
The group also formally acknowledged five
key decisions that will be on the council’s
agenda this year in advance of the budget
process:
• Recreation Center Feasibility Study and
future of 55 Barre St.
• Central Vermont Public Safety Authority –
go or no go
• Short and long term parking strategies
• New hotel and parking garage
• Water Resource Recovery Facility (WRRF)
upgrade
The next steps are that staff is creating
specific work plans for each outcome area
and priority activity. The city will also be
using a new tracking software system called
Envisio which will follow the strategic plan
and provide a public dashboard for all to
see progress. A first draft of the plan will
be before the Council on June 13, approval
of a final plan is expected on June 27. The
Envisio software implementation will begin
in July with the public dashboard expected
for November. The full detailed report of this
Strategic Planning process will be posted on
line. The process was led by Julia Novak of
the Novak Consulting Group who specialize
in municipal government work.
I must acknowledge that this page would
not be here if not for the partnership the
city has had with Nat Frothingham and The
Bridge for many years. Nat took a chance
on including paid city “propaganda” in this
paper. I appreciate his decision and hope
that it has been beneficial for The Bridge, the
city government and, most of all, Montpelier
residents. Speaking personally, I appreciate
Nat’s love for Montpelier and his tireless
dedication in holding The Bridge together.
He will be missed.
Thanks for reading this article and for your
interest in Montpelier city government. Please
share any questions, comments, or concerns
with me at wfraser@montpelier-vt.org or
(802) 223-9502.
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 7
Parklets or Parking? Which Brings More to Montpelier?
by Mike Dunphy
W
hen the first planks for a new
parklet were laid down outside
Down Home Kitchen on Langdon
Street, Montpelier began to buzz over the
wisdom of such a venture. While critics chafed
at the loss of parking spaces, alleged minimal
notification, and traffic issues, others cheered
the move as something new and vibrant, based
on the philosophy that it’s people that make a
downtown vibrant, not parking. Or as urban
activist Jane Jacobs once noted, “Not TV or
illegal drugs but the automobile has been the
chief destroyer of American communities.”
It’s a philosophy shared by Down Home
Kitchen owner, Mary Alice Proffitt, who told
the City Council during a public hearing on
May 9, “Sometimes you have to sacrifice a few
parking spots to do something creative and
exciting that draws people into your downtown
to spend money, and not just to go to a chain restaurant in Williston or a bar in Waterbury.”
For others, such as Yvonne Baab, the owner of Global Gifts, removing the three parking
spots on an already tight street is not the right approach. “The idea of increasing a business’s
area by taking up public space that is needed, in this case for parking, I am just opposed to
that,” she told the Council, also noting the short notice. “I really think it is unfair that we
are not given notice to have a say on how this going to impact us.”
Wherever your sympathies lie, the goal of all is the same: to bring more life—and therefore
business dollars—to downtown. The question is what can do that better? More parking
spaces or parklets?
Impact studies of parklets in Philadelphia and San Francisco, where parklets first appeared,
lean in their favor. A 2011 Parklet Impact Study by San Francisco Great Streets Project
studied the influence of parklets at three locations—Valencia Street in the Mission district,
Stockton Street in North Beach, and Polk Street in Polk Gulch—on pedestrian traffic,
behavior, and perception before and after each was installed.
Among the key findings was that average foot traffic on Stockton Street increased 44 percent
after the parklet was installed (but remained more or less the same on the other two streets).
However, the number of people stopping to engage in “stationary activities” significantly
increased at all three locations. While only one of the seven businesses that replied to the
survey observed that customer levels had increased after the parklet was installed, none saw
a decrease.
A 2013 study in Philadelphia by University City District, a nonprofit neighborhood
development organization, witnessed even greater benefits, noting “the sales impact [on
nearby businesses] of the parklet was substantial: following the introduction of the parklets,
sales were up by 20 percent.”
But of course, Montpelier isn’t San Francisco or Philadelphia, where there are a plethora
of parking alternatives and significant public transport systems. Plus, the median age in
Montpelier skews much higher, making mobility difficulties an issue for many. Families
with small children also suffer additional stress from trying to find parking near the
destination. Perhaps most importantly, as City Manager Bill Fraser notes, “Our businesses
can’t survive on just Montpelier residents,” so parking accommodations for those driving
into Montpelier is indeed important.
Thankfully, with the legislature out of town and schools closing for the summer, the parking
crunch is significantly reduced in the summer, creating an ideal opportunity to experiment
with the parklet, especially after the positive reaction to the Positive Pie parklet on State
Street. The city passed the ordinance March 18, allowing for six parking spaces total. Down
Home Kitchen was application number one, and it was approved in mid-May by a 4-2 vote,
with councilors Rosie Krueger and Glen Coburn Hutcheson objecting.
The parklets are supported by Montpelier Alive, which first floated the idea of parklets
several years ago. “I know it can be challenging to find parking downtown,” executive
director Dan Groberg reflects, “but our hope is that by turning over a limited number of
spaces, we can really enhance the vibrancy of downtown and bring a great atmosphere out
onto the streets.”
Based on his observation, it seems to be working. “I was at the Down Home parklet over the
weekend, and there were families enjoying free creemees and parents having drinks out in
the parklet, and it was a really great atmosphere,” Groberg said.
But is it creating spillover customers for surrounding businesses? Because the Down Home
parklet has only been open a short time, it’s probably too early to say, but Kipp Roberts, co-
owner of Onion River Outdoors next door did note, “We did see a lot of traffic down that
way over the holiday weekend, and I know there were some folks in here with Down Home
creemees, but it’s hard to say whether or not these folks would have come our way anyways.”
Indeed, anecdotal evidence is currently the only measurement in place to determine the
success of the parklets, with no formal impact
studies planned after the parklet season ends
in October. The same approach was used to
assess the Positive Pie parklet, too, as Fraser
explains. “It was measured strictly in the eyes
of the beholder. The council felt that in their
view, based on feedback that they’d received
and their observations, that they hadn’t been
disruptive to downtown in any way, that it
had created the type of vitality that they had
wanted.”
For Groberg, the spillover business shouldn’t
be the only measurement of the parklets’
success. “I think we need to measure it in a
variety of ways, and one of those ways is the
sales of adjoining businesses, but I think it is
also important to look at the contribution to
the overall vibrancy of downtown and energy
on the street.”
Whichever side people fall on the debate, nearly all those involved do agree some revision of
the process and the ordinance is in order. “From my perspective,” Fraser says, “process wise,
we could do a lot of things differently and improve, definitely more notice, more publicity
about the process, . . . some sort of permit process perhaps. The biggest criticism we heard
about was no notice.” Roberts agrees, saying, “I do wish city council would review their
policies regarding the number of parklets per business, their duration, and the minimum
requirements prior to the approval and construction process.”
“When the council adopted the ordinance,” city council member Rosie Krueger adds, “there
was also some discussion about whether to limit more specifically where parklets could go,
how many in a row, and so forth, however, the general feeling at the time was that future
councils could make those judgments on a case-by-case basis when the applications came
in. However, when this application came before the council, it seemed like some council
members felt they couldn’t really oppose it, because there weren’t any standards in the
ordinance against which the council could consider the application. This indicates that the
ordinance language needs some more work before future applications occur.”
Another aspect that could be changed going forward is assessing the cost of the parking
spaces, which is currently based on the cost of taking up the space for a full day—$810 per
space for the 27 weeks, from May 1 to November 8. Multiply that by three—the number of
spaces of the Down Home parklet—and it nonetheless doesn’t seem like peanuts, especially
considering the thousands of dollars Proffitt invested in the construction of the Down Home
parklet itself, plus wages for the staff to work and maintain it.
That investment by a private business should be noted, says Sarah DeFelice of Bailey Road
on Main Street. “Businesses that are investing in making the street look as good as parklets
make them look, they need to be allowed to try that. It’s not like she’s expanding at will.
She’s investing.” However, DeFelice concedes, “If businesses surrounding that business find
their sales are down 20 percent, 30 percent, and it’s really hurting, that has to be part of the
conversation.”
The question over the public versus the private parklet also remains contentious. As City
Councilor Rosie Krueger pointed out, “I voted against the parklet ordinance when the
council passed it this winter because I am uncomfortable with the idea of taking a public
asset and allowing a private business to restrict access to it on a semi-permanent basis. I have
no problem with public parklets . . . I would be happy to support that.” Baab shares that
opinion. “If it were open to the public all day long and took one parking space on the street,
I could see that being beneficial, but not the way it is now.”
One argument against public parklets might be the current state of Montpelier’s “Pocket
Park,” where the difficulties of upkeep—and generating the funds to support it regularly—
are becoming apparent in its progressive shabbiness. “My personal preference would be
that they are all public parklets,” Fraser notes, “but I say that with a caveat . . . that they be
maintained and done right. However, the economics for a lot of these projects are very tight,
so often times you are trying to blend some public and private resources to do some of these
projects.”
For Groberg, he hopes the experience of shopping downtown, parklets included, outweighs
these challenges to parking. “Part of shopping downtown is that you might not be able to
find a spot directly in front of the store you want to go to, but we offer such unique boutiques
and great dining that we encourage people to come downtown anyway and park on one of
the residential streets or the public lots. It is a different experience than shopping at a big box
store, where you might be able to park right in front.”
That may be true, but as Fraser points out. “Parking is the first and last impression somebody
has of your community. Is it easy to use? Is it friendly? Can you find a space? Is the pay
system easy? Was the experience a good experience for you? It can make a difference.”
For now, the experiment goes forward, with decisions about increasing or reducing spaces for
parklets put off until after the season. As Fraser notes, “Let’s see how these six goes.”
PAG E 8 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE
One Step Forward at a Time
E
ach spring runners, joggers and walkers take to
our roads to train for events like the Corporate
Cup and the Vermont City Marathon. Are you
one of them? If not, why not? I hear many reasons for
not getting out there: “The weather is bad. My knees
are bad. I’m too busy.” In my book, there is no excuse.
I’ve been an athlete most of my adult life. It has not
always been easy to get out the door. Sometimes, like
the Nike slogan, you have to “Just Do It.”
So what does it take to get out the proverbial door to exercise? Most important is the right
pair of shoes, which means a good fit and shoes that are not worn down or broken down
due to age and time on the shelf. A popular banker in town stopped running because of
sore knees. Turns out she was running in very old, broken down shoes. Shortly after she
bought new ones, she was back on the road pain free. Don’t cut corners on a pair of shoes.
You can patch together your outfits but shoes are critical to the enjoyment of being on
your feet and not getting hurt. You may need to consider specialized footbeds or orthotics,
particularly if you are flat-footed, in order to avoid chronic syndromes like plantar fascitis.
Beware if you run in Yaktrax during the winter, especially on uneven terrain, as they may
cause fascitis or other foot injury.
by Dot Helling
Start conservatively and realistically. If your goal is to
run a marathon, work up gradually for a period of six
months to a year depending on how naturally running
or jogging comes to you. The same with walking. Don’t
start with a 10-mile hike, start with a half mile or a
half hour. Work up incrementally either by mileage or
time. Take rest days in between. Talk with someone
you know who is a successful walker, jogger, or runner
about how they started. Remember that each of us is different and listen to your body.
What may work for your friend will not necessarily work for you.
Set a goal for yourself. Your goal can be meeting new people, an event, an adventure trip,
or simply to feel fitter, perhaps even lose some weight. Setting goals as well as finding
others to exercise with provides incentive on the days when you are struggling to get
out the door. You can find “partners in crime” by joining a group like Central Vermont
Runners, the Green Mountain Club, or “Walks with Harris” at the Montpelier Senior
Center. There are many opportunities in Central Vermont to congregate with others
who want company when they walk, jog or run. Find companions who match your pace
and your approach. Some athletes choose to work out “on the watch” while others are
out there to “smell the roses” while getting fit. Don't obsess about pace, time or distance.
Daily workouts and local events are not the Olympics.
If you need discipline, try counting steps with a Fitbit, or get a GPS watch that keeps
track of distance, pace and other variables. Or go to a program online that creates a
schedule to follow in reaching your goal. Personal coaches work well for some but there’s
an expense involved. The plus side to having a personal coach is that your program should
be individualized and geared to how your body is reacting to the workouts. Focus on
hydration and nutrition to give you the energy to do your workouts and the liquids and
nutrients needed to recover from them.
Pick different routes and vary your workouts. We have a myriad of trails, dirt roads and
paved courses for walking, jogging and running safely in beautiful settings. Starting out
I recommend our bike path that runs from the Taylor Street Bridge to the Junction Road.
There is also a section adjacent to Stonecutters Way which will soon extend to Gallison
Hill Road. Currently you can get up to three miles in one direction if you maneuver the
length of the existing paved path. For those who prefer dirt, the trails in Hubbard Park
and in North Branch Park are delightful, as is the Junction Road from the end of the
bike path out to Three Mile Bridge. You can go uphill via routes like North Street to an
endless mecca of dirt road loops and grids with jaw-dropping views.
While I prefer dirt, I have several “in-town favorites.” A quick after work six miler is to go
out Route 2, turn left at the Creemee Stand, cross over Three Mile Bridge, then back on
the dirt Junction Road and bike path. From town there are two eight-mile loops I love but
both involve difficult hills. First is to head out Route 12 to the base of the Wrightsville
hill, turn left on Bolduc, left on Portal, then left on Terrace with a beautiful downhill back
to town. Get off Terrace and come around through Clarendon to avoid traffic at the end
and then work your way around the Capitol.
My second favorite in-town eight miler is to go out Route 12, turn right up Gould Hill
Road to the top, then right on Sparrow Farm Road, then right again on North Street and
sail home downhill. Hang a left on Cummings if you want to add on, then head up to
Barnes or just come straight down County Road. These routes work for walkers, runners,
and joggers. During winter conditions, these routes are often more negotiable than City
streets, with less traffic. The dirt sections are easier on your knees and back.
The trails in Hubbard and North Branch parks access a system that will take you miles
and miles for hours upon hours through beauteous parts of Central Vermont. You can
access the East Montpelier trail system by running through North Branch to the top of
Gould Hill. In the winter you can run or walk the Vermont Association of Snowmobile
Travelers (VAST) trails, or else snowshoe or ski them, from Montpelier through East
Montpelier, to Worcester, and beyond. If you join your local snowmobile club, eg. The
Gully Jumpers in East Montpelier, it’s inexpensive and supports the grooming of the
trails. The Gully Jumpers section of VAST trail is user friendly to runners and walkers
with friendly sign postings for snowmobilers to be on the lookout.
Whatever approach you choose, the most important thing is to put that first foot out
the door, then another, and another. Keep stepping forward. The rewards outweigh the
effort. To help you get started, here are some links to athletic opportunities in the area:
www.cvrunners.org
www.greenmountainclub.org
www.montpelier-vt.org/297/Montpelier-Senior-Activity-Center
www.greenmountaincrossfit.com
www.onionriveroutdoors.com
www.firstinfitness.com
www.gmaa.net
www.outdoors.org
www.thegmbc.com
www.onionriver.com/events/stowe-bike-club
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 9
Editorial
Insisting on a Safe, Accessible,
24-Hour Transit Center
H ere’s a good idea. What about a taking a moment of total
relaxation followed by a deep breath of satisfaction?
Now, let’s acknowledge all the players, the meetings, work,
grit, patience, and follow-through with the One Taylor
Street project—a project that includes a long-awaited and
much-needed downtown Montpelier transit center, with a
construction start date sometime this summer.
Let’s not hit on all the obstacles that had to be surmounted in
advance of starting construction. But these were the biggies:
In a recent phone contact with The Bridge, City Manager
Bill Fraser said his earliest memory of the One Taylor Street
project was a reference to a transit center in the first (city and
state) Capital District Master Plan, produced in 2000.
As imagined in the early planning stages, the transit center
has always been at the heart of the One Taylor Street project.
It was only later on that the One Taylor Street project added
a housing element. As first described, the transit center was
conceived as a “Multi-modal Transit Center,” an almost
visionary concept.
Why not create a transit center in downtown Montpelier
that would promote transportation alternatives to the private
automobile—alternatives such as short- and long-haul buses,
trains, taxis, bicycles, and walking?
According to Fraser, voters in Montpelier approved an initial
$800,000 bond with the aim of acquiring the Carr Lot by
the Winooski River, in 2002.
But the Carr Lot was not without its problems. Even up until
the 1970s, the Carr Lot had been a scrap metal salvage and
processing yard. And before it could be converted to another
use, it had to be cleaned up. So there were environmental
studies, river modeling, and flood mapping with local, state,
and federal players.
Even as the clock was ticking, in addition to the clean-up,
there was a bike path to be figured out. There were bits
by Nat Frothingham
of property to be acquired. And then, of course, when it
was decided to devote the upper floors of the transit center
building to housing; there was development money to be
assembled, architectural designs, and the like. In the final
analysis there were permits to be secured before construction
could begin.
The study, planning, clean-up, acquisition, and permit
problems are now behind us and we can concentrate—and
need to concentrate—on the transit center itself.
In considering the transit center, these are the realities facing
us:
First, the City of Montpelier will own and manage the
transit center.
Second, the regional transportation provider, Green
Mountain Transit, will be the primary transit center tenant
and operator.
Third, it’s true that Greyhound buses will drop off and pick
up passengers at the new transit center. But Greyhound is
under no obligation to pay for the transit center. In fact,
according to Fraser, Greyhound is doing Montpelier a favor
in agreeing to take on and drop off passengers in Montpelier
when it could more easily pick up and drop off passengers
in Berlin.
But here is a remaining sticking point that’s being discussed
and is not yet resolved.
Will the new downtown Montpelier transit center be open
24 hours a day? And will it provide services to passengers
waiting to board the Boston-Montreal bus that stops in
Montpelier at about 3 am? And will the transit center
accommodate passengers waiting to board at the same time
on the return trip?
When all the costs, and these costs include the bike path,
a bike-pedestrian bridge over the North Branch, property
acquisition, design, permitting—and, of course the transit
center itself are added up, some $7 million of federal money
will come to the City of Montpelier.
Given the time, given the money, given that the transit
center is at, and has been, at the heart of the One Taylor
Street project for at least 18 years, we should insist on a
transit center that is accessible, safe, and achieves the goals
of unifying the city’s transportation alternatives.
That transit center would be staffed and say to the traveling
public, “You’re in Montpelier. You’re welcome here. If you
need information, we can supply information. If you need
a phone, here’s a phone. If you’re sick, we can get you up to
the hospital. If it’s cold outside, you can wait inside. If you
need to use a restroom, the restrooms are over there. If you’re
a child or if you’re alone or if you’re an older person and you
need a little help, we’re here to give it.
At the moment, what’s been figured out is a daytime transit
center. What’s not been figured out is a 24-hour (staffed and
accessible) downtown transit center. Those discussions need
to go forward now.
In 2006, there was a modest trailer situated on the Carr Lot
offering a temporary bus station to passengers arriving and
departing Montpelier. As part of a 2006 story that appeared
in The Bridge, then bus station manager Mike Coffin has
this to say about the positive business impacts of arriving,
departing, and waiting passengers:
“You have people coming to the capital in all seasons of the
year. I had 45 people get off the bus here at the 11:30 am
scheduled stop on the day before Thanksgiving. The
economic impact is a lot more than selling bus tickets.
It’s taxis, hotels, motels, and downtown merchants. I
have people who come in here, and they have an hour
to kill before they get on a bus, and they will come back
to the station with a bagful of stuff they have purchased
downtown. What would the city do if they didn’t have a
bus station here?”
PAG E 10 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Why I Love My (Reel) Mower by Charles W. Johnson

N
ow that it’s getting close to the dreaded mowing season, when folks spend much 11. Takes very little more time (for our lawn: 1.25 hour by reel versus 1 hour by power).
precious free time tending their patch of lawn, I’d like to pass on some thoughts 12. Can mow in any direction, since the grass is not thrown to the side.
about the benefit and joy (well, maybe not “joy” exactly, let’s say “satisfaction”) of
using an old-fashioned reel mower—you know, the one you push that has swishing blades 13. Cheaper than power mowers (new around $100, much cheaper used).
and no motor—instead of a power one. 14. Easy to store, can lift it easily.
But before I present my list, I want to emphasize a few “musts” about using a reel mower, 15. Don't have to winterize it.
to make it effective and efficient.
16. The machine is simple and elegant.
• The grass cannot be too high, say four inches or more, otherwise you will push the grass
17. Imparts a feeling of self-reliance, before power equipment took over our lives.
over rather than cut it. Therefore, you must mow regularly, once a week in spring, less
often in summer when growing slows. 18. The task becomes (more of) a pleasure.
• You must keep the mower blades sharp. Reel mowers are self-sharpening, by reversing The only downside I see is that you still have to mow, instead of fishing, lying in your
the cogs and using lapping (grinding) compound on the blades. This is easy to do once hammock, hiking, napping, or reading a good book. But that’s a choice we make; we could
you learn how, and there are good instructional videos on YouTube. I need to sharpen the have no lawns if we wanted.
blades only once or twice a year. Anyway, I hope you’ll give it a try. It’s good for you, your home, your neighbors, and our
• I only mow as much as I can do in an hour and a half. We don’t need more lawn than environment.
that, and I don’t want to make a chore out of it.
• Get a good brand, and wide enough to cover more ground, e.g., American Lawn Mower
Company makes a nice, solid 18-inch mower.
So, with these provisos in mind, here are eighteen reasons, in no particular order, why I
prefer using my reel mower over a power one (there are probably others I haven’t thought
of, too):
1. Quiet and peaceful: Don’t need hearing protection, can talk to folks nearby in a normal
voice.
2. Good exercise, but not overly strenuous.
3. Doesn’t kill frogs, toads, snakes, moths, and other living creatures.
4. Doesn’t use gas or oil, don’t have to go out and buy them.
5. Doesn’t produce fumes or pollute the air.
6. Safer: I can mow in sandals; doesn’t throw rocks, sticks, and other projectiles.
7. Can mow when the lawn is damp, in fact it cuts better then.
8. Nicer job than a power mower: no scalped lawn, “track” marks, or clods of grass left
behind.
9. Fertilizes as it cuts: it puts all the clippings back into the lawn.
10. No repair costs: I can sharpen it myself, fix any problem, get parts easily.

Recycle This Paper!

T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 11

Deane C. Davis Outstanding Business of the Year Award

Vermont Mutual President and CEO Dan Bridge accepted the Deane C. Davis Outstanding
Business of the Year Award Thursday, May 24, 2018 at the DoubleTree by Hilton in South
Burlington, VT. This annual award honors a Vermont business that shows an outstanding
history of sustained growth while displaying an acute awareness of what makes Vermont
unique.
With Dan Bridge, from left, are Vermont Business Magazine Publisher John Boutin, Governor
Phil Scott, and Vermont Chamber President Betsy Bishop. Photo by Rick McMahan

Well Wishes
for Nat from
His Daughter,
Hannah
I
was living with Nat for a year, 25 years ago,
when the first meetings to create The Bridge
were happening. Enthused and energetic
men and women gathered at his house and
elsewhere to debate its name, its nature, what
issues it would cover, how it would run. I was
25 at the time and quite amazed that a group
of community members could not only have
the audacity and vision to dream such a thing
but could actually make it happen. It filled me
with awe, excitement, hope. Still does.
Twenty-five years on I am immensely proud
of all that my Dad has done not only in
helping to conceive and bring The Bridge to life
but in safeguarding its continuity over time.
All the nurture, leadership, passion, energy,
drive, determination, grit and sheer nose-to-
the-grindstone hard work month in month
out, year in year out. Making The Bridge
a local institution. A part of the fabric of
the community. Part of what the people of
Montpelier and Central Vermont are proud
about.
This is of course not just about the efforts of
one man. It is testament to the collective work
of a group of highly motivated, very creative,
very hard-working people and a tremendously
supportive community.
But I know of no other person who could have
built and replenished the team, encouraged
and galvanized action against the odds,
grown and nurtured business and community
connections and support, and overcome
successive challenges and obstacles, in quite
the way that my dad astonishingly has been
able to. I am a deeply proud daughter.
I hope you and he all enjoy his send off. You
all deserve to. And I wish you, The Bridge, and
all in The Bridge team a successful, bright and
exciting future.
Hannah
PAG E 12 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Advice from Dad to a Grad by Kenneth Jones

I
graduated high school a long time ago. When I graduated, there was no Internet, no family, and community? While I continually reflect on my career success as a yardstick of
cell phones, and not even cable television. Cars were just transitioning to unleaded my life accomplishments, there is no question that I look to my kids’ accomplishments as
gasoline and climate change not yet to be a public policy discussion. an even more important gauge of success.
My son, Henry, will graduate next week, and if I were clever and omniscient, I would There is another important factor that I will consider when I watch Henry march down
try to characterize how the many changes taking place in society, the economy, and the aisle to the cadence of Pomp and Circumstance. My wife and I are a part of the
the environment will translate to changes in his post-high school life. But, the fact is I recipe that has resulted in the entrée that is Henry. Our schools and community added
can’t—I don’t know where our world is headed. As a result, I have to go back to what undeniably rich and sometimes conflicting ingredients to his growth.
hasn’t changed. As some of you know, I sat on the
When I graduated, I had what I School Board for Montpelier schools
think are the common emotions with the intent of ensuring that our
of excitement and fear. Excited to schools provide the best possible
begin claiming more control of my opportunities to foster the growth of
life decisions, such as what food to our children. My strongest conclusion
eat and what time to go bed, and from those six years is the importance
more importantly, the choices of my of interactions between family
social network and a new career. The backgrounds and school experiences.
fear was based on the unknowns of Students who come with challenges
my capacities and the challenge to from their home life such as poverty,
make it on my own without the 24/7 violence, or neglect face a much
support of my parents. different educational experience from
While chatting about the future those who have had greater privilege.
with Henry has not been a regular The Montpelier schools continually
occurrence, it is clear that he faces the attempt to accommodate the
same combination of excitement and differences in family backgrounds,
fear for the same reasons. but the challenge remains largely
unmet.
My father and I had a similar
chronology. Late to marry, late to Fortunately, Montpelier has a
have children, therefore a bit older large number of families who are
than the average parent of a graduating senior. For us, the graduation of our kids comes supporting their children and the schools. I believe that strong family support makes
at the same time that we are thinking of our retirement, so we anticipate the emerging teaching and learning easier, which is an important reason for the successes of our
adulthood of our children at the same time we consider our own professional exit strategy. Montpelier students and helped me get started those many years ago.
And therefore, as a parent, the consideration of our children’s future merges with review So, it is time to pass the baton. Good luck Henry, and I hope that when it is your turn, you
of our own progress. How will our children (Henry is the youngest of our three) emerge will be looking forward to your children stepping out into the world and while recognizing
from their family-directed growth to their independently determined trajectory for career, their fear, knowing that your family did its best to set them up for success.

Rocque Long
Painting
• Insured
• 30+ years professional
experience
• local references.
802-223-0389

Thank you for

reading The Bridge!
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 13
Dads and Kids Find Community—and Play—
at the Family Center
A
ctive and engaged fathers are critical
to strong and healthy families, and
The Family Center of Washington
County in Montpelier has been pursuing
that mission since 2001 with its “Dads and
Kids Playgroup” every Thursday evening
from 5:30 to 7 pm. As the flier says:
“Come to Dads Playgroup, a relaxed place
where dads and children can eat a free
dinner and play with friends!”
“Dads Playgroup may seem like a simple
thing,” the host and center’s outreach
coordinator, Christopher Robertson,
explains, “but it’s so much more than
that. Many dads work full time and
often don’t have enough time with their
children. Dads and Kids Playgroup gives
dads not only a built-in ‘dad and kid time,’
but also a chance for dads to meet other
dads.” Fellow dad, Pete Gill agrees. “Dads
Playgroup has been a safe, fun place for
me and my son to bond and to meet other
good folks in the community.”
It’s the only ongoing, prevention-oriented
community program open to all families
that specifically addresses positive
parenting skills for fathers. Children up
to age six are welcome. The playgroups
intentionally create an atmosphere that
includes a supportive environment for
social connections between dads. Fathers
also receive support and guidance from the
facilitator about their children’s behavior
and development, and weekly activities
that strengthen the father-child bond, such
as music, dance, cooking, and indoor gym
time.
Dad Aric Brown points out that through
coming to Dads and Kids Playgroup,
he has become aware of the many other
by Claire Kendall
services offered. “Besides Dads Playgroup,
my wife and I have taken advantage of
attending a useful parenting class, and
we frequent other Family Center of
Washington County playgroups, like the
Saturday Morning Playgroup [9:30–11 am].
Based on my kid’s positive experience at
the Family Center, I recommend it to all
young families.”
Because of the meet-up’s popularity,
both the Dads and Saturday Morning
playgroups have expanded, from a school
calendar schedule, to run through the
summer. Some special events are planned
for June, July, and August, such as a
Summer Readers Book Giveaway, which
is scheduled for Saturday, June 23, and
Touch a Firetruck and a BBQ Night (visit
the Family Center’s Facebook page for
specific dates.)
Photo by Joann Jenkins
Robertson reflects, “In 17 years of hosting
Dads Playgroup, I’ve seen a generation
of children and dads grow up together
and maintain friendships. It’s crazy to
think that my daughter, along with the
first group of Dads Playgroup kids, are
graduating from high school this June! At
the Family Center, it’s always about the
family.”
Claire Kendall is the Co-Executive Director
of the Family Center of Washington County
PAG E 14 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Monty Python Meets Les Mis in Urinetown at Lost Nation

Theater by Sarah Jane Schostack

U Urinetown
rinetown, the Musical tells you what it is. It does not hide And, after all these years, it remains current. For satire, when done
nor mask itself, but embraces its quirks, bad title and all. well, is always remembered and ideally learned from.
Originally on Broadway in 2001, Urinetown turned the by the numbers
Thank you to these writers for their satirical little monster of a
theater world on its end. Everything about it seemed to ensure a show: without it, our theater would be more predictable than 50+ costume changes in the show
flop. exciting. Thank you to this company for doing the good work to (with at least 1 onstage!)
As Little Sally and Officer Lockstock will explain to you almost honor the complexities as well as the simplicities of every character.
14 Actors playing 28 characters
as soon as the lights come up, the show had bad subject matter, Thank you to this team for their imagination in putting our own
a bad title, and so much more. Broadway was going for bigger twist on this icon. And thank you to you—for without an audience, 5 Musicians playing 8 instruments
budgets, bigger casts, and revival after revival after revival of the a comedy is an empty room of clowns laughing at their own jokes. 3 Directors
classics. Musicals were glitz, glam, and smiles. Urinetown was the I hope, with your permission of course, we will be funny, even if we
opposite. And more to the point, it was met every single night with aren’t trying to be. 2 Assistant Directors/Choreographers
uproarious laughter and applause. Sarah Jane Schostack is the director of Urinetown. Urinetown runs 5 Designers
Urinetown was a contemporary, black musical comedy, not the first until June 17 at Lost Nation Theater, with performances Thursdays– 3 Stage managers
and not the last but certainly one of the only in its time. Tackling Sundays 5 Run crew
the hypocrisy of capitalism, socialism, environmentalism, and just
about every other “ism” you can name, no one was safe from the 7 Scenic/Props technicians
wry, deadpan wit of its writers. Moreover, in our then recently post 8 Costume crew
9/11 world, it was an excuse to laugh. Standing next to happy,
400 Light cues
traditional musicals such as Mamma Mia! or Oklahoma!, it did not
shy away from the darker themes the theater was avoiding. 150 Costume pieces and glitter
Much like the first episode of Saturday Night Live! after 9/11, when
producer Lorne Michaels asked then-Mayor Rudy Guiliani “Can
we be funny?” and receiving laughter and applause, Urinetown was Photo by John Snell
funny despite and in relief of our pain. It mocked the big hits of
Chicago, West Side Story, Fiddler on the Roof, and Les Miserables as
only the underdog can. It fearlessly embraced bathroom humor as
a central plot point.
It was narrated by a slick cop and a 40-year-old woman dressed
as a savvy seven-year-old. It made absurdity its brother-in-arms
and fought the battle for laughs with a straight-faced stare, leaving
audiences wondering if the actors even thought their own work to
be humorous. Most importantly, beneath all of its irony, sarcasm,
and word play, it had a set of heart and morals only realized when
seen in its entirety. Young lovers fell in love and were torn apart by
misjudgments and insurmountable circumstances.
The morality of money versus lives was subversively questioned on
a minute-to-minute basis. The disenfranchised only rose so far and
the greedy were not entirely wrong. It was something to chew on, a Photo by John Snell
point of view lacking from the romantic comedies surrounding it.

Cody Chevrolet Congratulates

The Bridge On 25 Years of Business!
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 15
C a l e n d a r o f E ve n t s
Community Events
Events happening
June 7–June 23
THURSDAY, JUNE 7
Open Ears at Bagitos. Join Montpelier city
councilor Glen Coburn Hutcheson to talk
about the city or anything else.
8:30–9:30 am. Bagitos, 28 Main Street,
Montpelier. hutcheson@montpelier-vt.org,
839-5349.
Annual Summer Sale at The Trinity
Community Thrift Store. June 7–June 9.
10 am–4 pm. 137 Main St., Montpelier.
229-9155.
Happening: A Clean Energy Revolution.
Filmmaker James Redford embarks on a
colorful personal journey into the dawn of
the clean energy era as it creates jobs, turns
profits, and makes communities stronger and
healthier across the US. “Happening” explores
issues of human resilience, social justice,
embracing the future, and finding hope for
our survival. 7 pm. Jaquith Public Library,
122 School S.t, Marshfield.
FRIDAY, JUNE 8
Hunger Mountain Co-op Spring
Community Truckload Sale. June 8–10.
Save up to 65% on popular organic, natural,
and local products under the tent. Also great
sales happening inside the Co-op. This sale is
for everyone and all are welcome. 8 am–noon.
Hunger Mountain Co-op, 623 Stone Cutters
Way, Montpelier.
Spruce Mountain Hike with Green
Mountain Club. 4.2 miles. A great little hike
with a beaver pond and caves to explore and
a rewarding view with a fire tower at the
top. Meet at 10 am. Contact Sharon Plumb,
223-2190 or sharon.plumb@gmail.com for
meeting place.
For more event listings and event details visit montpelierbridge.com
Annual Summer Sale at The Trinity
Community Thrift Store. See June 7 for
details.
SATURDAY, JUNE 9
Hike Mt. Garfield with Green Mountain
Club. Franconia, NH. Moderate. 10 miles
round trip. Short rock scramble below the
summit with extraordinary views. Contact
Alan Paschell, 223-7044 or dreamon@
myfairpoint.net for meeting time and place.
HMC Spring Community Truckload Sale.
See June 8 for details.
Capital City Farmers Market. Market
vendors, music, and events. 9 am–1 pm. State
St., Montpelier. montpelierfarmersmarket.
com
Coffee with a Cop at the Capital City
Farmers' Market. With Montpelier Police
Dept. Police and community members come
together in an informal, neutral space to
discuss community issues, build relationships,
and drink coffee. Free coffee provided by
Birchgrove Baking. 9 am. Capital City
Farmers Market, State St., Montpelier.
Montpelier Memory Café. Every second Sat.
People with early to mid-stage memory loss
disorders, and their care partners, can come
together to connect and support one another
in a relaxed, non-judgmental atmosphere.
Participants enjoy social time and food, as
well as activities and exercise. People living
with memory loss and their care partners
are all invited to attend. 10–11:30 am.
Montpelier Senior Activity Center, 58
Barre St., Montpelier. Liz Dodd: 229-9630.
Montpeliermemorycafe.net
Annual Summer Sale at The Trinity
Community Thrift Store. See June 7 for
details.
Caws 4 Paws Pet Expo. Free Family Fun.
10 am–2 pm. At the Community Dog
Park in Barre Town, 70 Websterville Rd.,
Barre. Donations accepted and will go to
the dog park. https://www.facebook.com/
events/569434556789275/. 588-2013.
SUNDAY, JUNE 10
HMC Spring Community Truckload Sale.
See June 8 for details.
Plant Sale at the Old Meeting House. A
variety of perennials will be sold for modest
prices. 11 am–1 pm. Old Meeting House,
1620 Center Rd., East Montpelier.
Shape Note Singing. A participatory a
capella singing form. Every second Sun. from
2-5 pm. Christ Episcopal Church, 64 State
St., Montpelier. Anyone is welcome.
Documentary Film Series: The Story of
the Jews Author, documentary-maker and
Emmy-Award winner Simon Schama hosts
this five-part documentary series for PBS.
Episode 5: Return: Schama examines how the
Holocaust and the creation of Israel altered
Jewish identity. Discussion follows. 5–7 pm.
Montpelier Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre
St., Montpelier. 223-2518
Jewish Literary Series (Jewish Radical
Feminist: Voices From the Women’s
Liberation Movement). Joyce Antler is the
Samuel Lane Professor of American Jewish
History and Culture at Brandeis University.
Her new book is about Jewish women in the
1970s women’s movement and how they felt
their Jewishness contributed to their activism.
Includes a light supper. 6-7:30 pm. Beth Jacob
Synagogue in Montpelier. Free.
MONDAY, JUNE 11
Grief & Bereavement Support Group. Open
to anyone who has experienced the death of a
loved one. Second Monday evenings, 6–7:30 pm.
CVHHH, 600 Granger Rd., Barre. 223-1878.
TUESDAY, JUNE 12
Bike Montpelier to Adamant with Green
Mountain Club. Easy. About 13 miles.
County Road to Bliss Pond Rd. to Adamant
Rd. to Center St. to Bliss Rd. to County Rd.,
Lunch at the Adamant Coop. Leave from
Morse Farm at 10 am. Contact George Plumb,
883-2313 or plumb.george@gmail.com.
Anything Goes! Slam Hosted by Geof
Hewitt. Participants have up to five minutes
onstage to wow the judges, chosen at random
from the audience, and take home the
fabulous prizes! Musicians and magicians,
duets and choruses, and of course the single
voice of every writer. Sign up at the door by
6:45 pm. Event starts at 7 pm. Highland
Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick St.,
Greensboro. highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 13
Clearing the Hurdles: Overcome the 15
Stumbling Blocks that Threaten Writing
Careers. In this workshop, Mike Dunphy
will identify 15 of these and show attendees
how to navigate or avoid them altogether. The
session begins with a writing exercise, which
will be used throughout, so be sure to bring
writing analog or digital writing materials.
Mike Dunphy is Editor in Chief of The Bridge
and writing instructor at the Gotham Writers
Workshop. 7 pm. Kellogg-Hubbard Library,
135 Main St., Montpelier. 223-3338
HCA’s Mid-Week Movie Night. Black
Panther. 7 pm. Highland Center for the
Arts, 2875 Hardwick St., Greensboro. $5
suggested donation. highlandartsvt.org.
533-2000.
THURSDAY, JUNE 14
Open Ears at Bagitos. See details on June 7.
First Amendment Series: The Right to
Petition the Government for a Redress of
Grievances. Discussion with attorneys Paul
Gillies and John Franco of Vermont Law
School, Professor Peter Teachout along with
moderator, Cary Brown, Executive Director
of the Vermont Commission on Women. 7
pm. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, 135 Main St.,
Montpelier. 223-3338
PAG E 16 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Calendar of Events
Performing Arts THEATER, DANCE,
STORYTELLING, COMEDY
Through June 17: Urinetown at Lost Nation Theater. A fresh witty musical satire exploring
Bread and Puppet's Out-of-Joint Hamlet,
June 22 at the Bread and Puppet Farm

greed, corruption, love and revolution. The show imagines a world where, after a 20-year drought,
water & “water-closets” are controlled by a private mega-corporation which bribes police &
politicians to enforce its rules. Thurs.–Sat., 7:30 pm; Sat.–Sun, 2 pm. City Hall Arts Center, Main
St., Montpelier. $25–35. Student and senior discounts. 229-0492. Lostnationtheater.org
Through July 1. Bread and Puppet Presents: Grasshopper Revolution. Sundays through July 1.
Attempts to draw advice from several prominent revolutions in human history. Bread and Puppet
Museum store will be open for the public. 3 pm. Bread and Puppet Farm, Paper Maché Cathedral,
753 Heights Rd., Rt. 122, Glover. $10 suggested donation.
June 20–24: Mad as the Wind and the Sea: A Buccaneers Fantabulous Rollicking Tragic
Opera. An original Vermont musical for the family by Chris Colt, directed by Margo Whitcomb.
June 21–23, 7:30 pm, June 24, 2 pm. The Gospel Hollow, Calais Town Hall, Kent Hill Rd.,
Calais. $15; students/seniors $10. 223-1873
June 22–23: Castle on the Hill, A Tale of King Arthur. Vermont Youth Dancers (VYD). puts
their own spin on the classic legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. June 22,
7 pm; June 23, 2 pm. Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center, 122 Hourglass Dr., Stowe. $18–22.
sprucepeakarts.org.
June 22: Bread and Puppet Presents: Out-of-Joint-Hamlet. Reimagines the classic tale of the
indecisive Prince. 7:30 pm. Bread and Puppet Farm, Paper Maché Cathedral, 753 Heights Rd., Rt.
122, Glover. $10 suggested donation.
June 22: Bueno Comedy Showcase. A wide range of talented standup comics, from here and
away, working longer sets. 8:30 pm. Espresso Bueno, 248 N. Main St., Barre. Free/by donation.
479-0896. espressobueno.com.
June 23–24: Jerry & Ed. Leave that blinker on and move into the not-so-fast lane at Garden Acres
Retirement Community for the hilarious and heartwarming story of Jerry Atric (get it?) and his old
buddy Ed Hascomb. Sat., 7:30 pm; Sun., 3 pm. Highland Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick St.,
Greensboro. highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000

FRIDAY, JUNE 15
Easy Stowe Bike with Green Mountain Club.
Bring your little ones and their bikes, or your
bike and bike trailer, and we’ll explore the bike
path along the river. Contact Sharon Plumb,
223-2190 or Sharon.plumb@gmail.com for
meeting time and place.
New Café: Cycles of Life. Every third Friday.
A place of comfort where we can all come
together to listen, talk and share about the
things in life’s cycle we are all experiencing in
our own way now for ourselves and the earth
we live on. 11:45 am–1 pm. Twin Valley Senior
Center, Rt. 2, East Montpelier. 223-3332.
twinvalleyseniors@myfairpoint.net.
SATURDAY, JUNE 16
Capital City Farmers Market. See
Description on June 9.
Hike Peacham with Green Mountain Club.
Easy. 4 to 5 miles. Hike from near Martin's
Pond to Peacham Bog in Groton State
Forest and see bog plants including pitcher
plants, labrador tea, and cotton grass, and
woodland flowers including lady's slippers.
Bring water, lunch and snack. Contact Phyllis
Rubenstein, 802-793-6313 or Phyllis@
PhyllisRubensteinLaw.comcastbiz.net for
meeting time and place.
Prayer Flag Day at Milarepa Center. Come
offer your help refreshing the prayer flags or
simply join the center for snacks/tea and an
update on center news, 1–5 pm. Milarepa
Center, 1344 US-5, Barnet.
Drag Ball. Dance party and drag
performances. Proceeds to Vermont Cares. 6
pm. Old Labor Hall Barre.
facebook.com/events/996462597176154/.
$10 Suggested donation.
Film: Our Hospitality. Stars Buster Keaton,
and tells the story of Willie McKay, who
is caught in the middle of the infamous
Canfield-McKay feud (a satire of the real-life
Hatfield-McCoy feud). Bob Merrill provides
live piano accompaniment. 7:30 pm. Highland
Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick St., $10
www.highlandartsvt.org, highlandartsvt.org.
533-2000.
MONDAY, JUNE 18
Writing Power: A Writing Workshop to
Unleash the Writer Within Begins. Looking
for practical methods and techniques to
overcome obstacles to creativity? Write from
prompts and discuss ways to leap and go
deep on the page whether you write poetry,
nonfiction, memoir or fiction. With Laurie
McMillan, writer, M.Ed, Therapeutic Writing
Specialist. 6–7:45 pm. Kellogg-Hubbard
Library, 135 Main St., Montpelier, 223-3338.
TUESDAY, JUNE 19
Made in Vermont. Celebrate community and
local food and beverage producers. Live music
by the Vermont Fiddle Orchestra, lawn games,
and vendors and exhibits from artisan food
and beverage producers, local organizations
and businesses, and community partners.
The Crescent, N. Main St., Northfield. Free.
ncdnvt.org
Entrepreneur, Magician, and Motivational
Speaker Vinh Giang. “The Psychology of
Illusion, the Power of Perspective.” Topics
include influence, perspective, goal-setting,
and creative thinking. Part of the 2018 Todd
Lecture Series. 7 pm. Norwich University,
Plumley Armory, Northfield. tls.norwich.edu
Yvonne Daley Book Launch: Going Up
The Country. Join author of Going Up The
Country: When the Hippies, Dreamers, Freaks,
and Radicals Moved to Vermont Yvonne
Daley and retired Historical Society curator
Jackie Calder for a talk and reading. Tom
Slayton, who wrote the forward, will make an
introduction. 7–8 pm. Bear Pond Books, 77
Main St., Montpelier. bearpondbooks.com
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20
Grief & Bereavement Support Group. Every
third Wed. Open to anyone who has experienced
the death of a loved one. 10–11:30 am. CVHHH,
600 Granger Rd., Barre. Free. 223-1878.
Bike Middlesex with Green Mountain
Club. Moderately Difficult. About 18 miles.
Middlesex back roads. Rte. 2 to Brook Rd. in
Middlesex, to Middlesex Ctr., to East Hill Rd.
to Upper Terrace St., to Terrace St., to State St.
and back to the Dept. of Labor. Bring lunch.
Meet at Dept. of Labor at 10 am. Contact
George Plumb, 883-2313 or plumb.george@
gmail.com.
Just for Fun Film Series at Jaquith Public
Library. Featuring music and humor for all
ages. 6:30 pm. 122 School St., Marshfield.
Where Am I? The Power of Uniqueness.
Former Scenic America president and TED
talk lecturer Ed McMahon highlights the
importance of a sense of place and explores
why our physical surroundings are worth
caring about. A Vermont Humanities Council
Frist Wednesday Program rescheduled from
March 7. Unitarian Church, 130 Main St.,
Montpelier.
HCA’s Mid-Week Movie Night. “Phantom
Thread” 7 pm. Highland Center for the Arts,
2875 Hardwick St., Greensboro. $5 suggested
donation. highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000.
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 17
Visual Arts
EXHIBITS
Through June 8: Resa Blatman, Trouble
in Paradise Exhibition of 17 paintings, the
artist offers up a visual commentary on climate
change and its increasing threat to migratory
birds and other animal species. Catamount
Arts Main Gallery, St., Johnsbury. 748-2600.
catamountarts.org.
Through June 10: Vermont Landscapes. 38
paintings by 19 artists, all of whom paint in
Vermont. The Lamoille County Courthouse,
154 Main St, Hyde Park. bryangallery.org
Through June 16: Passages: This open call
exhibit features the work of artists working
in all mediums from digital image making to
traditional watercolors. Each artist responded to
the universal theme of Passages and interpreted
it with personal references and metaphors with
creative and imaginative energy. Chandler
Center for the Arts, 71-73 Main St., Randolph.
Through June 16: The Front Presents SHOW
25. The latest works of the gallery’s membership
of Vermont-based contemporary artists. In
addition, the Front will present work by guest
artist Mary Admasian, a multidisciplinary artist
who explores raw forms, layered spaces, and
abstract perception. 6 Barre St., Montpelier.
thefrontvt.com. 552-0877.
Through June 19: The Enigmatic Art of
Endangered Alphabets. Art and woodwork,
painting and typography, linguistics and
anthropology, creative design and cultural
preservation, ethnography and spirituality.
Originally intended to preserve some of
the world’s endangered writing systems by
carving them in boards of beautiful Vermont
curly maple, the Alphabets have expanded to
encompass artwork, poetry, sound sculpture,
and furniture. River Arts Center, 74 Pleasant St.,
Morrisville. riverartsvt.org. 888-1261
Through June 24: The Russians and Friends. A Watercolor. Highlights two watercolor murals
selection of paintings by four visiting artists from “The Last Supper” (1985) and “The Hunger
Russia, and some of their American friends, who
THURSDAY, JUNE 21
Open Ears at Bagitos. See details on June 7.
Writers & Their Mothers – A Reading.
This book brings to life the thoughts, work,
loves, friendships, passions and, above all,
the influence of mothers upon their literary
offspring from Shakespeare to the present.
Join three contributors: Rachel Hadas, Reeve
Lindbergh, and Martha Oliver-Smith. 7 pm.
Highland Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick
St., Greensboro. highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000
Share Your Event!
Send your calendar listings to calendar@montpelierbridge.com.
Due date for print in the next issue is June 15
Calendar of Events
On display at The Front Gallery in Montpelier: Janet Van Fleet, Auto-da-Fé, 16x16", mixed media
and oil on board, 2018
recently painted together in Jeffersonville. Bryan
Memorial Gallery, 180 Main St., Jeffersonville.
bryangallery.org
Through June 28: Tom Merwin, The Effects
of Bird Song on Shifting Strata. Paintings.
Vermont Supreme Court Gallery, 111 State St.,
Montpelier.
Through June 28: Carolyn Egeli, For the Love
of Vermont. Paintings. Governor’s Gallery, 109
State St., Montpelier. Photo ID required for
entry.
Through June 29: Ronald Slayton, Master of
FRIDAY, JUNE 22
Ecstatic Dance Vermont and Wordcraft
All-Stars. Celebrate diversity through dance,
music, and words in a safe and open space. All
ages event. 6–10 pm. Christ Church, 64 State
St., Montpelier. Dance $10; WORD!CRAFT
by donation. myceliumthemc. wordpress.com
SATURDAY, JUNE 23
Dog Mountain Founders Celebration Dog
Party. Honors the lives and loves of Dog
Mountain’s visionaries, Stephen and Gwen
Dream” (1985). T.W. Wood Gallery, Barre St.,
Montpelier.
Through June 29: Artists to Watch Part
II. The second exhibition in a survey of
contemporary Vermont art. Curator Ric Kasini
Kadour, editor and publisher of Vermont Art
Guide, worked with six art professionals to
identify artists they believe are on the verge of
doing great things. Vermont Arts Council’s
Spotlight Gallery, 136 State St., Montpelier.
Through June 30: Stop Motion – Paintings
and Drawings by Maiya Keck. In this series, the ice caves of Kamchatka in Siberia. The grounds
artist explores when motion ends and the work is of Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center, 122
suspended into a sustained image for the viewer. Hourglass Dr., Stowe. helenday.com
Huneck. If you have dogs, bring them. Live
music, local food, activities. Rain or shine.
Dog Mountain, 143 Parks Rd., St. Johnsbury.
dogmt.com
CVMC Fun Run (and Walk). Five-mile loop
around Berlin Pond. Prizes for top finishers in
all age groups. $20 if received by June 20; $25
race day. 371-4191. Register: cvmc.org/fun-run
Capital City Farmers Market. See
Description on June 9.
Reception: June 8, 6–8 pm. Axel’s Gallery, 5
Stowe St., Waterbury. 244-7801
Through June 30: Common Objects &
Uncommon Places – Paintings by Carrie
Caouette-De Lallo. Acrylics on paper that
focus on common objects—meditations on
the shape and color of a variety of fruit as well
as landscapes from the artist’s travels. Chelsea
Library, 296 VT-110, Chelsea.
Through June 30: New Shows at Studio Place
Arts. 201 N. Main St., Barre. studioplacearts.
com. 479-7069
Main floor gallery: Tell Me – Artwork by
19 local artists that explores language and
communication.
Second floor gallery: Beyond Words:
Artworks by the Book Arts Guild of
Vermont – Books can take on a language
of their own, as shown in the multimedia
work of this group of artists that use shape,
structure, and materials to get their message
across.
Third floor gallery: Jack Rowell: Cultural
Documentarian – Photographs from 5th
generation Vermonter Jack Rowell’s 30+ year
career as a photographer.
Through August 10: Stewards of the Land:
Photography by Orah Moore. handprinted
silverprint photographs. Moore is a classically
trained fine art photographer and founding
member of Women in Photography, a national
organization. Presented by Studio Place Arts.
On display at Morse Block Deli, 260 N. Main
St., Barre.
June 15, 2018 – September 8: \ re-klə-
'mā-shən \ Contemporary figurative women
artists painting women from their perspective,
reclaiming and transforming the way women are
portrayed. Reception: June 15, 5–7 pm. Helen
Day Art Center, 90 Pond St., Stowe. helenday.
com
Through Sept. 30: James Peterson,
Dreamcatcher. Large-scale interactive
installation that was inspired by the magical
Climb Out of the Darkness. Postpartum
mood and anxiety disorders are the most
common complication of childbirth—
and often go undiagnosed. 10 am–1 pm.
Vermont State House, Montpelier.
goodbeginningscentralvt.org. 595-7953
Open House at Vermont Farm and Forest
School. Meet the educators, tour the farm
and forest, play games, and cook over the fire.
1–4 pm. Drift Farmstead, 324 Webster Rd.,
Roxbury. driftfarmsteadvt.com
PAG E 18 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE
Live Music
J. Willis Pratt Band. Benefit Concert for J. Willis Pratt on June 16 at Goddard
College's Haybarn Theatre.
VENUES
Charlie O’s World Famous. 70 Main St. Montpelier.
Free. 223-6820.
Every Tues.: Karaoke with DJ Vociferous,
9 pm–1 am
June 7: Morgan Lindley (country) 9 pm
June 8: Dallas Higgins (folk) 6 pm; Drunk and In
The Woods (soul) 9 pm
June 9: Juicy Conotation (funk) 9 pm
June 11: Sex Trivia 7:30 pm
June 15: Christine Malcolm (country folk) 6 pm;
Jef Salisbury Band (blues) 9 pm
June 16: Mad Mt. Scramblers (bluegrass)
June 18: Nerd Trivia, 7:30 pm
June 22: Wes Hamilton (folk) 6 pm; Green Mt.
Playboys (Cajun dance) 9 pm
June 23: The Wormdogs, Electric Sensei (bluegrass/
rock) 9 pm
Gusto's. 28 Prospect St., Barre. 476-7919. Ages 21+.
June 7: OPEN MIC, 8 pm, Free
June 8: Ted & Katie (Acoustic),5-7 pm, Free
June 8: Dirty Looks ( Rock covers) 9 pm, 21+ $5.
June 9: DJ Loud, 21+, No cover, 9:30 pm
June 15: Elizabeth Renaud (acoustic) 5-7 pm, Free;
MIRAGE (Rock covers), 9 pm, 21+ $5
June 16: DJ Loud, 21+, 9:30 pm. No cover.
June 22: ’80s Night with DUROC (’80s pop covers) 9pm,
21+ $5
June 23: DJ Loud, 21+, No cover, 9:30 pm
Whammy Bar. 7 pm; Fri. and Sat.,
7:30 pm. 31 County Rd., Calais. Thurs., Free.
whammybar1.com.
June 7: Open Mic
June 8: Brevity Thing
June 9: Susannah Blachley and Patti Casey
June 14: Myra Flynn and Paul Boffa
June 15: Kelly Ravin and Halle Jade (singer/songwriter/
alt-country)
June 21: Open Mic
June 22: Sky Blue Boys (Bluegrass w/Eric Lindner, Dan
Lindner, Carrie Cooke)
June 23: Naughty and Nice
SPECIAL EVENTS
Every Wed: Capital City Band on the State House Lawn.
Every Wed. through summer. Enjoy a picnic with neighbors
or meet some new friends while enjoying this delightful
Vermont musical tradition. Or, bring an instrument and play
along with the band. 7–8 pm. State House Lawn. 456-7054.
June 7: First Thursdays Music: Jeanne and Jim. Americana
duo who have been playing together for many years. Jim is
Calendar of Events
a multi-instrumentalist and vocalist and Jeanne plays fiddle
and sings. Thick harmonies and songs of heartbreak are
their specialty. 6–8 pm. Highland Center for the Arts, 2875
Hardwick St., Greensboro. No cover, but please tip your
performers and servers. highlandartsvt.org, 533-2000.
June 7: Northern Harmony Quartet. The quartet presents
three northern Vermont concerts. The program features
traditional songs from Corsica, Georgia, Bosnia, and
Bulgaria, and new and traditional American shape-note
songs and Appalachian harmonies. 7:30 pm. Richmond Free
Library. Suggested donation at the door is sliding scale $5-15.
426-3210
June 8: Northern Harmony Quartet. See descripion on June 7.
7:30 pm. Heartbeet Community Hall, 218 Town Farm Rd.,
Hardwick. Suggested donation at the door is sliding scale
$5-15. 426-3210
June 8. Jow Sabourin. Acoustic Dinner, Down Home
Kitchen, 100 Main St., Montpelier. Free
June 8. Séan McCann. McCann’s love for Newfoundland
and Labrador folk songs shot him to international fame as
a founding member of the internationally renowned group
Great Big Sea. 7 pm. Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center,
122 Hourglass Dr,. Stowe. $20. sprucepeakarts.org. 760-4634
June 8: The Limes. The Cabot School’s answer to School
of Rock, this 18-piece original alt-pop funk orchestra
redefines the concept of “school band.” 7:30 pm. Highland
Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick St., Greensboro. $15.
highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000
June 9: Northern Harmony Quartet. See Descripion on June
7. 7:30 pm. Christ Church, Taplin Auditorium, 64 State St.,
Montpelier. Suggested donation at the door is sliding
scale $5-15. 426-3210
June 9: Summit School Springtime Mini-Fest and
Fundraiser. Concerts, square dancing, Cajun dancing,
and desserts, with music by Sarah Blair, Tom McKenzie,
Colin McCaffrey, Kick ‘Em Jenny, and Chaque Fois!
4–10 pm. Unitarian Church, 130 Main St., Montpelier.
$20 benefits the Summit School of Traditional Music
and Culture. summitschool.wixsite.com
June 9: The Livelihood Music Festival. music by
Vermont youth performers Televici and hip-hop
group A2VT, and performances by Dave Keller (solo).
5:30–9:30 pm. Montpelier High School, 5 High School
Dr., Montpelier. Adults $15; students $10; $25 family
up to five. Benefits Spectrum VT. facebook.com/
events/442712736167938/
June 9: Two Years on Welfare, Gahlord Dewald,
Lichti/Hamilton/Dentico. An evening of Drone,
Ambient Electronics and Free Improvised Music. 7–9
pm. 1248 U.S. Route 2, East Montpelier. Suggested $5
donation. subversive.intentions@gmail.com.
June 9: Dar Williams. Noted singer-songwriter, author,
and community activist, will perform in concert. 7:30
pm. Chandler Center for the Arts, 71-73 Main St.,
Randolph. 728-6464
June 9: Stephane Wrembel. Gypsy jazz. 7:30 pm. Highland
Center for the Arts, 2875 Hardwick St., Greensboro.
highlandartsvt.org. 533-2000
June 10: Shape Note Singing. A participatory a capella
singing form. Every second Sun. from 2-5 pm. Christ
Episcopal Church, 64 State St., Montpelier. Anyone is
welcome.
June 15: John Lackard Blues Band. 9 pm. Moog’s Place, 98-
124 VT-100, Morrisville. No cover charge.
June 16: J. Willis Pratt Benefit Concert. Featuring Phish’s
Jon Fishman with Donna Thunder, Django Soulo, Bad Dog,
Stone Bullet, The Peter Mayhew Band , and J. Willis Pratt &
We’re Bionic. 6:30 pm. Haybarn Theatre, Goddard College,
Pitkin Rd., Marshfield. Donations of cash or check accepted
at the door to support Pratt's treatment and recovery.
June 17: Montpelier Parks Parkapalooza. Free music series
in Hubbard Park. With Steady Betty. Giant slip ‘n slide and
a community BBQ trailer fired up for you to grill your own
picnic. 3–6 pm. Hubbard Park, Montpelier. www.facebook.
com/events/162033757820436/.
June 20: WordStage Literary Concerts Presents Higher!
Faster!! Louder!!! – An Evening of Operatic Excess.
Celebrate the exciting and exhilarating virtuosity of the
human voice as displayed by seven shimmering stars from
the world of Opera. 7:30 pm. Lost Nation Theater, 39 Main
St, Montpelier. $25, includes sparkling refreshments. All
proceeds will benefit WordStage and Lost Nation Theater.
lostnationtheater.org. 229-0492.

T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 19
Weekly
ARTS & CRAFTS
Beaders’ Group. All levels of beading experience
welcome. Free instruction available. Come with a
project for creativity and community. Sat., 11 am–2 pm
The Bead Hive, Plainfield. 454-1615.
Tuesday Night Knitters. Every week except for the
first Tuesday of each month. All levels encouraged!
A small but dedicated group of knitters invite you to
share your projects, questions, and enthusiasm for
the fiber arts! Cutler Memorial Library,
151 High Street (US Route 2), Plainfield. 454-8504,
cutlerlibrary.org.
Crafters Group. Bring your own projects, or work
together on projects to sell to benefit the Senior
Activity Center. We can all learn from each other!
Every Wed., noon–2 pm. Montpelier Senior Activity
Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier. 223-2518.
Photography Club. Every Thurs., noon–1 pm. Led
by professional photographer Linda Hogan. Great
chance to get and give some feedback on your work
and see what others are doing. Montpelier Senior
Activity Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier. 223-2518.
Drop-in River Arts Elder Art Group. Work on art,
share techniques, and get creative with others. Bring
your own art supplies. For elders 60+. Every Fri.,
10 am–noon. River Arts Center, 74 Pleasant St.,
Morrisville. Free. 888-1261. riverartsvt.org.
BICYCLING
Open Shop Nights. Volunteer-run community bike
shop: bike donations and repairs. Wed., 4–6 pm;
other nights. Freeride Montpelier, 89 Barre St.,
Montpelier. 552-3521. freeridemontpelier.org.
BOOKS & WORDS
Lunch in a Foreign Language. Bring lunch and
practice your language skills with neighbors. Noon–
1 pm Mon., American Sign Language; Tues., Italian;
Wed., Spanish; Thurs., French. Kellogg-Hubbard
Library, 135 Main St., Montpelier. 223-3338.
Club de Français Intermédiaire. Lecture (reading).
Conversation. Grammaire. Every Mon.,
12:45–2 pm. Montpelier Senior Activity Center,
58 Barre St., Montpelier. 223-2518.
Italian Group. A fun-loving group meets to converse
in Italian. Every Tues., 1:15–2:45 pm. Montpelier
Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier.
223-2518.    and play. All ages. Thurs., 3–4:30 pm. Kellogg-
BUSINESS, FINANCE, COMPUTERS,
EDUCATION
One-on-One Technology Help Sessions. Free
assistance to patrons needing help with their
computers and other personal electronic devices.
30 min. one-on-one sessions every Tues., 10 am–
noon. Waterbury Public Library, 28 N. Main St.,
Waterbury. Free. Registration required: 244-7036.
FOOD & DRINK
Community Meals in Montpelier. All welcome.
Free.
Mon.: Unitarian Church, 130 Main St.,
11 am–12:30 pm
Tues.: Bethany Church, 115 Main St.,
11:30 am–1 pm
Wed.: Christ Church, 64 State St.,
11 am–12:30 pm
Thurs.: Trinity Church, 137 Main St.,
11:30 am–1 pm
Fri.: St. Augustine Church, 18 Barre St.,
11 am–12:30 pm
Sun.: Last Sunday only, Bethany Church, 115
Main St. (hosted by Beth Jacob Synagogue),
4:30–5:30 pm
Lunches for Seniors. Mon., Wed., Fri., Noon.
Twin Valley Senior Center, 4583 U.S. Rt. 2, E.
Montpelier. $4 suggested donation. 223-3322.
twinvalleyseniors.org.
Feast Together or Feast To Go. All proceeds benefit
the Feast Senior Meal program. Tues. and Fri.,
noon–1 p.m. Live music every Tues., 10:30–11:45
am. Montpelier Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre
St., Montpelier. Seniors 60+ free with $5 suggested
donation; under 60 $7. Reservations: 262-6288
or FEAST@montpelier-vt.org.
Calendar of Events
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Bone Building Exercises. Open to all ages.
Every Mon., Wed. and Fri. 7:30 am and 9:15 am.
Twin Valley Senior Center, 4583 U.S. Rte. 2, E.
Montpelier. Free. 223-3322. twinvalleyseniors.org.
Tai Chi for Seniors. Led by trained volunteers.
Advanced class: every Mon. and Fri., 1–2 p.m.
Beginners class: Tues. and Thurs. 10–11 am.
Twin Valley Senior Center, 4583 U.S. Rte. 2, E.
Montpelier. Free. 223-3322. twinvalleyseniors.org.
Living Strong Group. Volunteer-led group. Sing
while exercising. Open to all seniors. Every Mon.,
2:30–3:30 p.m. and every Fri., 2–3 pm. Montpelier
Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier.
Free. Register: 223-2518. msac@montpelier-vt.org.
Type 2 Diabetes Self-Management Program.
Education and support to help adults at high risk
of developing type 2 diabetes adopt healthier
eating and exercise habits that can lead to weight
loss and reduced risk. Every Tues., 10:30–11:30
am. Kingwood Health Center Conference Room
(lower level), 1422 Rt. 66, Randolph. Free. Register:
728-7714.
Tai Chi for Falls Prevention. With Diane Des Bois.
Beginners and mixed levels welcome. 2:15 pm. Barre
Area Senior Center, 131 S., Main St., #4, Barre. Free.
Register: 479-9512.
Tai Chi Classes for All Ages. Every Tues. and
Thurs., 10–11 am. Twin Valley Senior Center,
Rte. 2, Blueberry Commons, E. Montpelier. Free.
223-3322. twinvalleyseniors@myfairpoint.net
HIV Testing. Vermont CARES offers fast oral
testing. Wed., 2–5 pm. 29 State St., Ste. 14 (above
Rite Aid), Montpelier. Free and anonymous.
371-6224. vtcares.org.
KIDS & TEENS
The Basement Teen Center. Safe drop-in space
to hang out, make music, play pool, ping-pong
and board games and eat free food. All activities
are free. Mon.–Thurs., 2–6 pm., Fridays 3–10 pm.
Basement Teen Center, 39 Main St., Montpelier.
BasementTeenCenter.org
Story Time and Playgroup. With Sylvia Smith for
story time and Cassie Bickford for playgroup. For
ages birth–6 and their grown-ups. We follow the
Twinfield Union School calendar and do not hold
the program the days Twinfield is closed. Wed.,
10–11:30 am. Jaquith Public Library, 122 School St.,
Marshfield. Free. 426-3581. jaquithpubliclibrary.org.
Lego Club. Use our large Lego collection to create
Hubbard Library, 135 Main St., Montpelier. Free.
223-3338. kellogghubbard.org.
Dads & Kids Playgroup. Playtime and free dinner.
Every Thurs., 5–7 pm. For dads and their children
ages birth–5. Family Center of Washington County,
383 Sherwood Dr., Montpelier. fcwcvt.org
Drop-in Kinder Arts Program. Innovative
exploratory arts program with artist/instructor
Kelly Holt. Age 3–5. Fri., 10:30 am–noon. River
Arts Center, 74 Pleasant St., Morrisville. 888-1261.
RiverArtsVT.org.
Teen Fridays. Find out about the latest teen books,
use the gym, make art, play games and if you need
to, do your homework. Fri., 3–5 pm Jaquith Public
Library, 122 School St., Marshfield. 426-3581.
Mad River Valley Youth Group. Sun., 7–9 pm.
Meets at various area churches. Call 497-4516 for
location and information.
MUSIC & DANCE
Barre-Tones Women’s Chorus. Open rehearsal. Find
your voice with 50 other women. Mon., 7 pm. Capital
City Grange, Rt. 12, Berlin. BarretonesVT.com.
552-3489.
Dance or Play with the Swinging Over 60 Band.
Danceable tunes from the 1930s to the 1960s.
Recruiting musicians. Tues., 10:30–11:45 am.
Montpelier Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre St.,
Montpelier. 223-2518.
Monteverdi Young Singers Chorus Rehearsal.
New chorus members welcome. Wed., 4–5 pm.
Montpelier. Call 229-9000 for location and more
information.
Ukelele Group. All levels welcome. Thurs., 6–8
pm. Montpelier Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre St.
223-2518.
Barre Rock City Chorus. We sing songs from the
’60s to ’80s and beyond. All songs are taught by rote
using word sheets, so ability to read music is not
required. All ages welcome; children under 13 should
come with a parent. Every Thurs., 6:30–8:30 pm.
Church of the Good Shepherd, 39 Washington St.,
Barre.
Gamelan Rehearsals. Sun., 7–9 pm. Pratt Center,
Goddard College. Free. 426-3498. steven.light@jsc.
edu. light.kathy@gmail.com.
OUTDOORS
Walks with Joan. Easy to moderate walks around
Montpelier for healthy exercise and conversation.
Every Tues., 10–11 am. Montpelier Senior Activity
Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier. 223-2518. 
Trash Tramps. Walk around Montpelier collecting
trash to help beautify our city. Bring gloves, other
supplies provided. Every Tues., 2–3 pm. Montpelier
Senior Activity Center, 58 Barre St., Montpelier.
223-2518.
RECYCLING
Additional Recycling. The Additional Recyclables
Collection Center accepts scores of hard-to-recycle
items. Mon., Wed., Fri., noon–6 pm; Third Sat.,
9 am–1 pm ARCC, 540 North Main St., Barre.
$5 per carload. 229-9383 x106. For list of accepted
items, go to cvswmd.org
RESOURCES
Onion River Exchange Tool Library. More than
100 tools both power and manual. Onion River
Exchange is located at 46 Barre Street in Montpelier.
Hours are Wed. and Thurs., 10 am–2 pm. For more
info. or to donate tools: 661-8959 or
info@orexchange.com.
SOLIDARITY/IDENTITY
Rainbow Umbrella of Central VT. Adult LGBTQ
group, meets the third Tuesday evening of the month
at 5:45 pm. for a casual dinner at a local restaurant.
The gathering place is 58 Barre St. in Montpelier.
Info: RUCVTAdmin@PrideCenterVT.org
Friday Night Group. Social gathering of LGBTQ
youth, ages 13–22. 2nd and 4th Fridays of the
month, 6:30–8 pm. Free pizza and soft drinks.
Supervised by LGBT adults trained by Outright
Vermont. Unitarian Church, Montpelier. For more
info, email Nancy: SaddleShoes2@gmail.com
Bowling. Rainbow Umbrella of Central Vermont,
an adult LGBTQ group, bowls at Twin City Lanes
on Sunday afternoons twice a month. For dates and
times, write to RUCVTAdmin@PrideCenterVT.org
SUPPORT
Turning Point Center. Safe, supportive place for
individuals and their families in or seeking recovery.
Daily, 10 am–5 pm. 489 North Main St., Barre.
479-7373.
Sun.: Alchoholics Anonymous, 8:30 am.
Tues.: Making Recovery Easier workshops,
6–7:30 pm.
Wed.: Wit’s End Parent Support Group, 6 pm.
Thurs.: Narcotics Anonymous, 6:30 pm.
Al-Anon. Help for friends and families of Alcoholics.
Sun.: Trinity Church, 137 Main St., Montpelier
(back door) 6:15–7:30 pm.
Tues.: Bethany Church, 115 Main St., Montpelier
(basement) noon–1 pm.
Wed.: Bethany Church,115 Main St., Montpelier
(basement) 7–8 pm.
Thurs.: Bethany Church, 115 Main St.,
Montpelier (basement) noon–1 pm
Sat.: Turning Point, N. Main St., Barre, 5 pm.
(child friendly meeting)
Sex Addicts Anonymous. Mon., 6:30 pm. Bethany
Church, 115 Main St., Montpelier. 552-3483.
Overeaters Anonymous. Twelve-step program for
physically, emotionally and spiritually overcoming
overeating. Sat., 8:30–9:30 am at Episcopal Church
of the Good Shepherd, 39 Washington St., Barre.
249-3970.
Mooditude Support Group. A professional and
peer-led support group, not a therapy group. For
people with depression, bipolar disorder, seasonal
affective disorder, dysthymia etc.). Every Wed.,
4–5 pm. Bethany Church,115 Main St., Montpelier.
(downstairs at end of hallway). Free. 223-4111 or
522-0775.
Weight Loss Support Group. Get help and support
on your weight loss journey every Wed., 6–7
pm. Giffords Conference Center, 44 S. Main St.,
Randolph. Free. No registration required. Open to
all regardless of where you are in your weight loss.
Wit’s End. Support group for parents, siblings,
children, spouses and/or relationship partners of
someone suffering with addiction, whether it is
to alcohol, opiates, cocaine, heroin, marijuana or
something else. Every Wed., 6–8 pm. Turning Point
Center, 489 N. Main St., Barre. Louise: 279-6378.
National Alliance on Mental Illness VT Peer
Support Group. For anyone with any type of
mental health condition looking for confidential
peer-led support among others living with mental
health issues. Every 2nd Thurs., 4–5:30 pm in
the Boardroom (basement level near cafeteria) at
Central VT Medical Center on Fisher Rd in Berlin.
Questions: Call Nick Martin at 876-7949 ext. 102 or
info@namivt.org.
SPIRITUALITY
Christian Science Reading Room. You’re invited
to visit the Reading Room and see what we have for
your spiritual growth. You can borrow, purchase or
simply enjoy material in a quiet study room. Hours:
Wed.–Sat., 11 am–2 pm; Wed., 5–7:15 pm. 145 State
St., Montpelier. 223-2477.
A Course in Miracles. A study in spiritual
transformation. Group meets each Tues., 7–8 pm
Christ Episcopal Church, 64 State St., Montpelier.
279-1495.
Christian Counseling. Tues. and Thurs. Daniel Dr.,
Barre. Reasonable cost. By appt. only: 479-0302.
Prayer Meeting. Ecumenical and charismatic prayer
meeting. Every 1st and 3rd Thurs., 6:30–8 pm.
8 Daniel Dr., Barre. 479-0302
Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. For those
interested in learning about the Catholic faith, or
current Catholics who want to learn more. Wed.,
7 pm. St. Monica Church, 79 Summer St., Barre.
Register: 479-3253.
Deepening Our Jewish Roots. Fun, engaging text
study and discussion on Jewish spirituality. Sun.,
4:45–6:15 pm. Yearning for Learning Center,
Montpelier. 223-0583. info@yearning4learning.org.
SPORTS & GAMES
Roller Derby Open Recruitment and Recreational
Practice. Central Vermont’s Wrecking Doll
Society invites quad skaters age 18 and up. No
experience necessary. Equipment provided: first
come, first served. Sat., 5–6:30 pm. Montpelier
Recreation Center, Barre St. First skate free.
centralvermontrollerderby.com.
YOGA & MEDITATION
Christian Meditation Group. People of all faiths
welcome. Mon., noon–1 pm. Christ Church,
Montpelier. 223-6043.
Zen Meditation. With Zen Affiliate of Vermont.
Wed., 6:30–7:30 pm. 174 River St., Montpelier.
Free. Call for orientation: 229-0164.
Montpelier Shambhala Meditation. Group
meditation practice. Sun., 10 am–noon; Wed.,
6–7 pm; learn to meditate — free instruction the 1st
Wed. of the month. New location: 5 State Street, 2nd
floor, Montpelier. info@montpeliershambhala.org,
montpelier.shambhala.org
Sunday Sangha: Community Ashtanga Yoga.
Sunday, 7:15–8:15 pm Mantra and Pranayama.
Saturday, 10–11:30 am. Funk N Flow Yoga. Grateful
Yoga, 15 State St., 3F, Montpelier. By donation.
Do What You Do Best.
Bookkeeping · Payroll · Consulting
802.262.6013 evenkeelvt.com
PAG E 2 0 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Disturbances on Scribner Street by Maggie Neale

H
ow can the actual length of a was changed and accepted by Montpelier
street in Montpelier that has City Government as 340 feet for no obvious
brought me home for 23 years reason, and with no particular record.
and been maintained by the city suddenly This might seem like past history, but when
be in question, with the suggestion by the Tom McArdle, Director of Public Works, can’t
Montpelier Director of Public Works that give us a sound explanation for a notation on
the portion of the city street ends before my a City VTrans map which states that Scribner
driveway entrance? What? How can I explain Street ends before my driveway, my entrance
this when I do not understand it myself? to my home, things get really upsetting.
My deed says my small piece of land is According to my neighbor at 9 Scribner, the
bounded by Scribner Street on its western paved road in front of my home, my driveway
length. I understand that Scribner Street is and front yard belong to number 9, and
no longer traveled the whole of my eight rods, his property virtually landlocks my property.
but there has been a tree line we called the This is not what I have been contentedly
border for at least 50 years, until it was cut paying taxes on for 23 years!
a couple of years ago by the new neighbor. I am so disappointed in the lengthy process
Then last year the long-established waterway of this disturbance, the lack of appreciation
was disturbed and rechanneled into several for all the research Bruce Sargent has put
ruts in the hill east of its original home—my into discovery, and feeling outside the team
property and my easement. Thus, red flags! Photo by Maggie Neale of players at City Hall. I would like to think
What is happening on our hill? that I could be supported by my city.
Bruce Sargent went into action to discover On June 13, there will be a site visit by City
the boundaries of my property by hiring a surveyor, and we found I did own in real Council members, then a hearing as part of the regular bimonthly meeting that same
property and in easement the portion where the many ruts have been created by our evening to determine the length of Scribner Street, a determination to be made entirely
neighbor, Mark Magiera. In his research, Sargent discovered that our easement was not by the city council after hearing all evidence—the Department of Public Works, the
owned by us as real property, and the easement was not owned as real property by the surveyor, our research, maps and photographs, and all other evidence offered by the
neighbor as well. He owned it as servient property, with an overriding easement. We public. Meanwhile we are being careful not to trespass on our neighbor’s property, but if
owned the easement. he owns Scribner Street at our driveway’s entrance, that is impossible.
Sargent discovered that Scribner Street had been dedicated and accepted at 397 feet, 132 My friends, family, and associates have been asking for an explanation. This is the best I
feet of which borders the whole length of my property. This was back in 1919, when the can do when I am discouraged and humbled. My trust is shaken.
house and .4 acre was sold to Eda Berganti, who was working on the neighboring farm
at 9 Scribner. Her property, now claimed by me, has easement rights along its western Maggie Neale is a 23-year resident of 8 Scribner Street, an artist, and a board member of
border. A few months later, after Eda made her purchase, that 397 foot street length Artisans Hand.
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 21
Vermont Climate Economy: The Moment is Now
M
y first food was a testament to Vermont’s economy. As a baby, the story goes,
my parents held me as we admired the steaming arch at our neighbors’ house.
They took a small spoon and let me taste my first few drops of Vermont
ambrosia: maple syrup. The only problem was, the syrup was so good I wouldn’t let go
of the spoon.
I have grown up surrounded by reminders of Vermont’s economy. From the sweet scent
of boiling sap, to the rumbling of chainsaws in nearby woods, to the tour busses that line
Montpelier’s Main Street in fall just as the leaves turn, I’ve watched our natural resource-
based economy in action. The landscape is integral to our economy and to the happiness
of the vast majority of Vermonters.
Climate change threatens the landscape I grew up with, know, and love. Climate change
threatens that which I hold dear.
But climate change also offers an opportunity, a chance for Vermont to take a small but
very real leadership role. It poses an opportunity for our state to show the nation and the
world what a climate economy can look like.
The truth is that money drives behavior. That does not mean that we are doomed to
succumb to the economic barriers in combating climate change. We must efficiently and
effectively change the way Vermonters are able to interact with the economy. Like all
consumers, Vermonters are unlikely to buy electric vehicles in mass until they are more
affordable than other models. The average Vermonter will not choose solar and biomass
Spotlight on Jobs
To advertise employment opportunities at
your business call 249-8666
CLASS A DRIVERS—MIDDLESEX
CENTRAL TRANSPORT is looking for Class A drivers to fill open positions at our Middlesex
office for daytime and overnight shifts. Daytime shifts start at $26/hr and top out at $29/hr
and offer local routes. Overnight shifts work out to 54 cents/mile with hourly rates starting
at $27/hr when not driving. Both positions are home daily, Monday through Friday and have
a $10,000 sign on bonus. Positions with Central Transport offer medical, dental and 401K
programs, driver uniforms, inspection bonuses, referral bonuses and other incentives. Our
drivers are in 2016 or newer tractors and our brand new trailers keep rolling in weekly.
Qualified candidates should have at least three months of tractor/trailer driving within the last
year, no DUIs within the last five years, and a valid Class A CDL.
Please swing by 52 Three Mile Bridge Rd in Middlesex from 8 am until 5 pm to see us or call
(802) 899-0065 and talk to Brian Driscoll. Also contact Brian at bdriscoll@centraltransport.com
COMMUNITY ORGANIZER—MONTPELIER
THE VERMONT NATURAL RESOURCES COUNCIL (VNRC), in partnership with the
Vermont Conservation Voters (VCV), has an exciting opportunity for an outgoing person
who wants to have a significant impact on the future of Vermont.
We are looking for a motivated person to help advance policy initiatives related to climate
action, clean energy and environmental protection through grassroots engagement. The
position will also assist VCV to help elect environmental champions to the Vermont
legislature and statewide offices.
Job responsibilities include educating the public on our environmental campaigns, building
the support we need to advance a pro-climate, pro-environment policy agenda, and elect
environmental and climate champions to public office. The successful candidate will be self-
directed and have good writing skills; be able to communicate effectively with a variety of
audiences, including members and activists; be able to work collaboratively in a busy office
environment; have experience in social media; and be committed to working on behalf of
Vermont’s citizens, environment and communities.
Applicants should have a B.A. or B.S. in a relevant field (although pertinent life experience
may be substituted for education) and, preferably, experience with an advocacy organization.
Starting salary is commensurate with experience. Email a letter of interest, resume, and three
references to Lauren Hierl, VCV Executive Director, lhierl@vermontconservationvoters.com
DIRECTOR OF FINANCE—WATERBURY
THE HIMALAYAN CATARACT PROJECT (HCP) seeks a dedicated and engaging professional
to lead its accounting and finance function. This newly created position will provide strategic
and analytical leadership in the development of a cohesive, results-oriented, grant compliance
and financial monitoring function, with focus on upgrading current tools, platforms, and
practices with view towards scaling. For more information and a full position description,
please visit our website cureblindness.org. Send applications to jobs@cureblindness.org.
by Harrison Bushnell
until these options are as affordable as other energy sources.
Now is the time to get creative. We have the opportunity to make solar power, wind
power, weatherization, electric vehicles, and other alternatives not only more affordable,
but more accessible. We can use the settlement money from the Volkswagen emissions
lawsuit and other funding mechanisms to focus on increasing the number of charging
stations, creating new purchase incentives, and improving consumer awareness. Only
when we tackle each aspect of an industry within the climate economy will we succeed.
We can also focus on driving biomass adoption and enhancing our electric grid to be
more flexible and efficient. Incentivizing modern wood heat and expanding smart grid
technologies are examples of Vermont-focused initiatives that will put us at the forefront
of the fight against climate change, allow us to act as a leader in these sectors, and save
our landscape while saving Vermonters money.
Most importantly, these initiatives should attract green businesses and support the
development of green jobs across Vermont.
And so it’s our job as citizens, and the job of our lawmakers and business people as
state leaders, to try to shape the Vermont economy around affordable, renewable, and
lasting options. Let this moment mark Vermont’s choice to support our economy while
protecting our natural resources, including our sweet maple syrup, for future generations.
Harrison Bushnell is a senior at U-32 High School. He lives in Middlesex, Vermont.
THE BRIDGE SEEKS A SALES REPRESENTATIVE
DO YOU HAVE A PASSION FOR FREE, LOCAL AND INDEPENDENT
JOURNALISM IN VERMONT?
The Bridge is seeking the assistance of a sales representative to help cover the Central Vermont
region, including Montpelier, Barre, Plainfield, Calais, Middlesex, Berlin, and Waterbury.
Candidates with sales experience and contacts in the region are preferred, but we are also
open to training someone with enthusiasm, charm, creativity, and old-fashioned moxie.
We offer generous commissions on each sale and opportunity for advancement. Furthermore,
the job is part-time and flexible regarding hours.
For more information, contact Mike Dunphy at mdunphy@montpelierbridge.com
EDUCATION DIRECTOR—STOWE
HELEN DAY ART CENTER
The Education Director is charged with executing the Helen Day Art Center’s arts education
and outreach programs in the areas of youth education, teen education, adult education and
outreach. He/she will work collaboratively with the Executive Director to set the vision and
programming strategy for the education department.
Key qualities include a passion for art and education and those we serve, attention to detail,
hard-working, team player, self-driven, and previous experience with art education.
The role requires the ability to work with extreme accuracy and efficiency, a high degree of
dependability and professionalism, expertise in customer service, strong knowledge of curricula
design, office fundamentals, ability to maintain good spirit and humor under pressure, and
trustworthiness. 32-40 hours, salaried
Bachelor’s degree required in art education. Position is open until filled
To apply, submit a cover letter, resume and references to Jen Schoeberlein at deputy@helenday.
com. Please include the words “Education Director” in the subject line.
PRODUCTION TEAM MEMBER—CABOT
CABOT CREAMERY– Are you interested in working in a fast-paced, team-oriented
environment, where “The World’s Best Cheddar” is made? Then we have the perfect career
opportunity for you!
Agri-Mark / Cabot Creamery is seeking Full Time 1st & 2nd shift Production Team Members
to work at our Cutting & Wrapping Plant located in Cabot, VT. Positions are available
working on our fast-paced production lines responsible for packaging cheese while ensuring
the highest safety and quality standards.
Schedule flexibility to include weekend availability is required. Previous production and/or
manufacturing experience is desired, but we are willing to train dependable and motivated
individuals. Qualified candidates must possess a High School diploma or GED, and be able to
frequently lift up to 50 pounds.
We offer a competitive salary, shift differentials and comprehensive benefits package to include
medical, dental, vision, disability, life insurance, 401k and pension. Candidates are encouraged
to apply in person at our Cabot HR Department, online at jobs@cabotcheese.com, or send
your resume w/ cover letter to:
Cabot Creamery Administrative Office, ATTN: Roger Nadeau (HR), 193 Home Farm Way,
Waitsfield, VT 05673
PAG E 2 2 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE
A Year With No Garden
by Mimi Clark
G
ardens are what transform houses into homes. Homes have gardens. Gardens
announce the presence of a homemaker. Homemaking is the art of creating an
escape from the complexities, the chaos, and the noise of the rest of the world, a
lost art form that traditionally has been reserved for women.
The Betty Crocker Homemaker Award for Tomorrow was once an award given to a high
school senior girl who, after scoring the highest on a test and a written essay, received
a pin and applause at graduation. She was awarded by the fictitious ideal cook and
baker, Betty Crocker, who was invented by General Mills, which refined all our grains,
took out the nutrients, and fed them to animals. Women were to give up imaginative
participation in cooking and baking for the Betty Crocker products and, in return,
would have more satisfaction and time to do things that they enjoyed more. Somewhere
in that sales pitch, half of the imaginations of a nation were stifled.
I won the homemaker award my senior year, but not for using the Betty Crocker ways.
Instead, after answering all the questions on the test, I wrote an essay on how to save
the world’s children. I was surprised to win because I never took a high school home
economics course; everything I knew I had learned from my mother. I had run away
from home just before graduation when my sister was calling me the Harwood home
breaker. Five years later, I passed on the torch, so to speak, to my younger brother in law,
who won the award for the blue and white striped kaftan he made in sewing class. He
then got married in his creation. Soon after, the award ceased to exist.
In my mind, a house can’t be a home without something growing in the brightest
daylight or under artificial lights. A garden can be as simple as a row of pots on the
windowsill, a warm sunny one above the kitchen sink; like eight pots of tuberoses, small
bulbs that grow into tall, white, flowering and fragrant grassy spikes. Getting them to
bloom is called gardening. Getting them to bloom brings sense to life. It also can all
happen under lights.
This year, I didn’t plant my big beef tomato seeds until three weeks after Town Meeting
Day because my house is selling on the frost-free date for our area and I couldn’t decide
whether I should bother planting anything at all. But at the last minute, something like
the homemaking urge came over me and the next thing I knew, my indoor greenhouse
was lighted, and I planted as space would allow.
Asparagus, onions, tomatoes, and blue poppies; move or no move these seeds were
going down into the compost at the last minute and getting watered. Under fluorescent
lights that I leave on 24/7, the normal pattern of light and growth is distorted in favor
of more light. None of the plants I have ever tried to grow have minded not getting a
Green Bag and Pointed Stick
B
esides the mighty changes going on in the country now that keep some of us tuned
in as never before to the daily news, I can testify to a small change on our road
in Marshfield. Yesterday, my wife and I went out on our quiet, unpaved road in
observance of Green Up Day, each carrying an empty green plastic bag and a stick with
a nail, point out, at its end—our usual equipment when we go a-scavenging on that one
day of the year.
We’ve made that brief annual trek along the same road for most of the last 50 years,
beginning in 1969 or 1970, and I can happily testify that the pickings of the roadside
litter we go after on that single day of the year were slimmer this year than ever before.
As usual, bottles and cans predominated in the litter we picked up. We’re a thirsty
race and don’t mind shelling out money to quench our thirst when our drink is laced
with alcohol or sugar. But the bottles and cans were much fewer in number this year
than usual, and than ever before in my experience, in fact. The same with fast-food
wrappings. And—Puritans and health advocates, take heart!—our “haul” held fewer
beer cans and cigarette packages than ever before.
Of course, given the statistics of small numbers, the casual conclusions we drew Saturday
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Photo by Mimi Clark
break from the artificial light, but the secret is there have to be four fluorescent bulbs
across for enough intensity. In my experience, the plants don’t seem to care whether
they have fancy full-spectrum bulbs or warm light ones or even the plain cool industrial
variety, but there have to be four across no closer than four to six inches. The plants will
complain when something is wrong, they will not look great.
If they get chlorosis and turn yellow from either too much light or iron or limestone
in unfiltered water from a deep well, water them with rain water. As with babies, the
needs of young plants are very finite. Tomato plants for instance need a lot of calcium
when they are bigger, but I prefer to collect rainwater for the seedlings when they are
small because they like a slightly acidic soil, which I have come to interpret as around
pH 6.8, like roses; anything lower will not ensure maximum disease resistance and cold
hardiness. I alternate high-calcium alkaline well water with acidic rain water and they
thrive like nobody’s business.
A year of having no garden and severe cold were trying to force me into feeling sorry
for myself and perpetual self medication, but I am not yielding to the empty promises.
Transitory as it has been, my instant greenhouse garden has gotten me through the
coldest April. The tomatoes, asparagus, onions, tuberoses, and blue poppies all came up,
thrived, and were sold just like that to Vee’s Flowers and Settlement Farm.
I am alone on a beautiful spring evening having sold my plants, having sold my home
and my garden, and what do I have left? I have the source. I have my mind still full with
decades of memories from experimenting passionately with plants in all kinds of places,
inside and out, rented, borrowed, loaned, and owned. I still have the source to make a
garden and a home somewhere else.
by Jules Rabin
from that once-a-year foray we make with our green bags—that the times they are a
changing—could have been caused by a change in the habits of just one person traveling
that stretch of road just a few times a week throughout the year: that one smoker and
drinker, perhaps, who traveled our road on his way home from work and looked for
solace from life’s hardships in the contemplative half hour of the drive home with a
beer and a snack handy to tone down life’s large hungers. Might it be that this year our
hypothetical traveler turned over a new leaf, or moved to another place, and no longer
takes out his griefs, if that’s what they are, by delivering a couple of tosses on our peaceful
roadside?
Who knows?
There are two established farms, incidentally, on our stretch of road. While doing my
annual Green Up stint I saw one farmer neighbor, too distant to greet, cutting firewood
on his “free” Saturday morning. The second of those two farmers came out of his barn
to greet me and say a few words when I hove into sight. He had been working—I could
see that on his shirtfront—on the selfsame morning I was sporting with my green bag
and nail-pointed stick.
The job I was doing was merely decorative, you might say, with no cash value even,
to mark its small importance. But maybe in a very large perspective, the health of the
planet, for example, and the bequest of a visible form of decency to our posterity, my
green-bag-and-pointed-stick routine was “necessary,” just as the work my two neighbors
were doing was necessary. Mine just did not have the immediacy of the pressing work
they were doing right then on that same Saturday morning.
T H E B R I D G E J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 • PAG E 2 3
Letters
Thanks to Volunteers
Editor,
I am writing to thank the dedicated
volunteers who have helped with recent
downtown beautification projects. These
projects, led by the Montpelier Alive Design
Committee, help contribute toward a more
attractive and vibrant downtown, and we
could not have completed them without
volunteer support.
The North Branch River Art project, led by
Design Committee Chair Didi Brush, was
inspired by an art installation in Quebec
City in 2008. This project brings majesty
and allure to Montpelier’s rivers, which are
an oft-forgotten downtown asset.
More than 170 plants were planted in
City Hall Plaza, softening and beautifying
this underutilized space. Now, downtown
workers and visitors can enjoy a meal or a
moment of contemplation surrounded by
beauty but still in touch with the pulse of the
town. The flowers were planted on Green
Up Day by the Design Committee with the
assistance of volunteers from National Life
Group.
And finally, dozens of flower barrels and
hanging flower baskets will be planted and
placed across downtown in the coming
weeks.
These projects were funded in part
by Downtown Improvement District
funds, with administrative support from
Montpelier Alive.
We invite readers to be involved as volunteers
or supporters by contacting director@
montpelieralive.org.
Dan Groberg, Montpelier
Thanks to Hecht, Pyralisk
Editor,
As I was about to throw away my copy of
The Bridge [May 3], I noted an article by
Nicholas Hecht that had not jumped out at
me earlier—“Finding Space for Art: Pyralisk
Rises from the Rubble.” Yes, someone is
finally going to do something about the
lovely Middlesex train station! So many times
in the past few years as I drove by it on my
trips to and from my family home at Round
Barn Farm in North Waitsfield, I would
comment to myself about the dilapidated
state of this once thriving building and
wonder if someone was ever going to do
something about it. Thank goodness, it will
be preserved and not bulldozed!
It reminded me of my childhood in the
1940s, when the Middlesex station was an
active hub on the Montreal-to-Boston and
New York Canadian rail system. My dad
shipped out his very high-quality gallons of
“grade Fancy” maple syrup in large wooden
containers nailed together at our farm, and
I often accompanied him on those trips on
what was then Route 100 to Middlesex.
Now the road is Route 100B, exchanging
route numbers with what was then a dirt
road over Duxbury Hill to Waterbury.
Every summer my older and street-wise
cousins from Montreal, Helen and Nancy,
came down on the train with their huge
trunks to stay during their school vacation
with their mother, Aunt Helen Bisbee
Marsh, in their little summer house next
to our farm. Formerly a home for hired
farm help, it had no electricity, running
water, or other modern conveniences, but
it was fine for them to spend the summer
in the country and be near all the family
relatives. Their dad, Uncle “Deke” Robert
Marsh came down only a few times to visit.
He worked as an executive for Aluminium
Limited in Montreal.
It was always a joyous occasion for me as
their country cousin, to see and hear what
was going on in the rest of the outside world
through their more metropolitan view of
things. They often quoted to me the story
of the city mouse and the country mouse,
denounced the American flag while singing
“God Save the King/Queen,” and kept me
apprised of the Führer's latest escapades in
Germany!
(My cousin Helen, who still lives in that
totally renovated little house, reminded me
recently that they also took what was known
as “the stage” back and forth from Middlesex
on occasion. This was a van used by the
postal service to deliver mail to the town
post offices on Route 100 from Montpelier
and also served as a local mail carrier for
rural postal customers along the route to
Warren. It probably replaced what once was
a real stage coach that filled the same duty
years before. When this happened we would
just have to pick them up on Route 100 at
the intersection of Meadow Road.)
I therefore remember the old train station
fondly and have been saddened by its
apparent neglect, as it seemed to be sinking
into the sunset along with many other old
icons including ourselves. How great to
realize that it is being rehabilitated by The
Pyralisk, which I also remember as having
its home behind the Montpelier Fire Station
in the building next to the steep hill. I think
I will send them a tiny donation, which is all
my lowered social status can do at this time!
Thank you, Nicholas Hecht!
Mary Alice Bisbee, North Waitsfield
• New Construction
• Renovations
• Woodworking
• General Contracting
223-3447
clarconstruction.com
Farms of All Sizes Are Best Use of spring snow melts and rains and helps hold
Vermont Land water. As soil organic matter increases by
Editor, one percent, through these practices, the
soil absorbs 25,000 additional gallons of
I am proud to say that I am a dairy water per acre.
farmer. Our farm strives to take the best
possible care of our land and animals On many of our fields we transport manure
directly from our manure pits through a
so that we can provide a source of local
food for our community and beyond. It pipeline hose which connects to a tractor in
the field and is spread or injected directly
was disheartening to read a recent letter
into the soil, protecting water quality and
to the editor by Mimi Clark, the wife of
soil health. An added benefit to both no-
a dairy farmer, claiming that the Vermont
till planting and piping our manure is less
landscape can’t support large dairy farms,
equipment trips over the field (and road)
like ours.
which reduces soil compaction and fuel
The best way to keep our environment usage.
healthy is to keep farms of all sizes in
business. According to the Lake Champlain Before we consider transitioning farmland
to other uses, it’s important to recognize
Basin Program, one acre of urban/suburban
that dairy is a local food that is affordable
land contributes about four times more
and nutrient rich and can feed millions of
phosphorus to the Lake than one acre of
people. Our farm is a member of Cabot
farm land.
Creamery Cooperative where our milk is
On our farm, we manage 3,600 acres of made into cheese, butter, yogurt and other
land to feed our cows. We have worked dairy products.
extensively with the Vermont Land Trust
Currently, New England produces about 10
over the years and own 1,675 acres of
percent of its own food according to Food
conserved farm land. Soil health is crucial
Solutions New England. Their goal is to
to the cleanliness and future of our water
increase that to 50 percent so that we are
and food supply. The soils and nutrients on
less dependent on other parts of the country
our fields are kept in place by covering them
that are facing water shortages and drought
with plants all year; studies show that this is
due to a changing climate. Vermont family
helping to sequester carbon.
farmers can meet this challenge and feed
Each spring we plant corn, without tilling people in a sustainable way, but we need
up the soil, the land is left intact and the your support.
seeds are planted directly into the ground
Clara Ayer, East Montpelier
through existing vegetation. When soil
is undisturbed the root systems, worms
and bugs all help to retain nutrients while
doing the tillage work themselves, creating Letters to the paper are not
pathways for water and nutrients to be
fact-checked and do not
absorbed.
necessarily represent
Our corn is harvested in the fall and
immediately, our winter-rye cover crop is the views of The Bridge.
planted. Rye protects our soil through the
We welcome your letters and opinion pieces. Letters must be
fewer than 300 words. Opinion pieces should not exceed 600
words. The Bridge reserves the right to edit and cut pieces.
Send your piece to: editorial@montpelierbridge.com.
Deadline for the next issue is June 15
Design & Build
Custom Energy-Efficient Homes
Additions • Timber Frames
Weatherization • Remodeling
Kitchens • Bathrooms • Flooring
Tiling • Cabinetry • Fine Woodwork
PAG E 24 • J U N E 7 – J U N E 2 0 , 2 018 THE BRIDGE

Everything’Snot What It Appears! by Larry Floersch

O
kay. I’ve
seen all
those
photos of the royal children,
Prince George and Princess
Charlotte of Cambridge.
And they would be adorable
children if they were real. But they are not. I know this
because all children in that age range have one feature in
common that the designers of these audioanimatronic robots
forgot: Snot candles!
Now I know what you’re thinking. “But Lare, these kids are
royals. They are not like normal kids. They have nannies
and governesses just beyond the cameras, and those nannies
and governesses have hundreds of boxes of Kleenex at their
disposal, just waiting, like the ball boys and ball girls at
Wimbledon, to swoop in and wipe away those snot candles
in a flash.”
But you’d be wrong, because I’ve had experience with the
phenomenon of snot candles in toddlers, and I know it takes
those candles less than 2.5 seconds to regrow after a nose
wipe. Even using one of those snot-sucking aspirator bulbs
doesn’t slow down the regrowth of the candles. And don’t
even talk to me about the apparatus in which you insert the
business end into the child’s nose and suck on a clear plastic
hose with your mouth to pull the mucus into a reservoir.
You wouldn’t catch me using one of those things unless that
clear plastic hose was as long as the Trans-Alaska pipeline.
No-sir-ee!
Another thing that is missing on these supposed royal
children is a multitude of Mickey Mouse or Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle Band-Aids. Are you going to tell me these
kids do not get bruises, bumps, and scrapes just because
they are royals? To that I say, with my best British accent,
“Shuttlecock!” They do not get bruises and scrapes because
their robotic skin is some sort of mixture of high-tech
polymers and polytetrafluoroethylene. Not only does it resist
damage, but Band-Aids do not stick to it. That’s not true of
real kids. When he was little, my son once wore the same
Band-Aid on his boo-boo for three years.
If Princess Charlotte were a real toddler like my granddaughter,
she would leave behind her a trail of Cheetos and Goldfish
crackers, kind of like the breadcrumbs of Hansel and Gretel.
The cushions in the royal carriages would resemble the back
seat of my car, where the crumbs of these crackers have
become an orange paste after being mixed with droplets of
water from a constantly inverted sippy cup—a sippy cup that,
along with an indescribable stuffed animal, never leaves my
granddaughter’s side. But there is no evidence, in the form
of orange paste, actual crackers, or an orange residue around
her lips or on her dress, to suggest that Princess Charlotte
consumes such delights, much less SpaghettiOs or buttered
noodles. And there is nary a sippy cup or grungy stuffed
animal to be seen in the photos of her.
And just look at Princess Charlotte’s feet. She always has on
socks and shoes! And the shoes match! And they are on the
right feet!
No, I say, these are not real children!
Even the Queen herself provides evidence of this elaborate
subterfuge. Sure, the George and Charlotte robots have been
programmed to amuse the Queen by calling her ”Gan-Gan”
with cute electronic voices, but take a moment to examine
photographs of the Queen when her great grandchildren are
present. Do you ever see any vomit or chocolate stains—or
snail tracks—on the lapels of her impeccably tailored pastel
suits? No! Obviously these “children,” being robots, are too
heavy to sit on their great grandmother’s lap and wipe their
faces on her clothing.
I do not mean to imply that Prince William and Princess Kate
do not have any children. I am sure the real Prince George
and Princess Charlotte, after their initial debut in swaddling
clothes, were spirited away to Balmoral or some other royal
hiding place in Scotland to be raised in secret, away from the
cameras and the public eye, so as to save the royal family the
embarrassment of appearing less than regal. And some day in
the future, after they have outgrown the snot candles, poopy
nappies, and SpaghettiOs faces, the buttons under the wigs
on their robotic stand-ins will be pushed to “off,” and the real
children will take their place in royal society.
And as far as that new little brother, I just read they named
him Louis. I had really hoped they would name him Uther,
after Uther Pendragon, the legendary father of King Arthur,
just to give the family a less-polished, less-hygienic, fifth-
century edge. Given the cold, dirty, damp living conditions
in those days, the real Uther probably had snot candles as an
adult.
God Save Gan-Gan!