(Rights-Based Direct Practice With Children) Murli Desai (Auth.) - Introduction To Rights-Based Direct Practice With Children-Springer Singapore (2018)

Rights-based Direct Practice with Children
Series Editor: Child Rights and You (CRY)
Murli Desai
Introduction to
Rights-based
Direct Practice
with Children
About the Series
This series provides comprehensive source material for teachers, trainers,

facilitators and field workers in direct practice with children. It draws linkages
among the foundation of life skills of self; psychosocial, sociological and critical
theories of child development, childhood and family; the ideology of child rights;
the methodology of direct practice with children comprising approaches, methods
and skills, drawing from the professions of social work and counselling; and the
preventative framework of service delivery systems for children, based on the
public health care prevention model.
Each module of the sourcebooks comprises appropriate concepts and theories for
developing users’ understanding of specific topics, and recommends a range of
relevant activities that they can adapt to facilitate participatory learning of different
target groups in different contexts. Most of these activities have been piloted in the
field by select development support staff of Child Rights and You and their project
partners.
This series makes a unique contribution as training and reference sourcebook for
professionals and practitioners of child rights across the world, and especially in
developing countries.
Series Editor
Child Rights and You, commonly abbreviated as CRY, is a non-profit organization

in India established in 1979. CRY’s mission is to enable people to take
responsibility for the situation of the deprived Indian children and so motivate
them to seek resolution through individual and collective action thereby enabling
children to realise their full potential. It also aims to enable peoples’ collectives and
movements encompassing diverse segments, to pledge their particular strengths,
working in partnership to secure, protect and honour the rights of India’s children.
Over the last three decades, CRY has reached out to nearly two million children and
brought about a permanent, lasting change in their lives. Currently CRY works
across 23 states in 225 intervention areas. CRY has taken the initiative to prepare
sourcebooks on theory and rights-based direct practice with children. However, the
responsibility for the content lies with the author/s and not with CRY.
More information about this series at http://www.springer.com/series/15428

Murli Desai
Introduction to Rights-based
Direct Practice with Children
123
Murli Desai
Former Professor
Tata Institute of Social Sciences
Mumbai, Maharashtra
India
ISSN 2520-1751 ISSN 2520-176X (electronic)

ISBN 978-981-10-4728-2 ISBN 978-981-10-4729-9 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017940821
© Child Rights and You 2018

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About the Author
Dr. Murli Desai, MA and Ph.D. in social work, and former Professor at the Tata
Institute of Social Sciences, was commissioned by CRY to prepare a series of four
sourcebooks on Rights-based Direct Practice with Children. Dr. Desai has prepared
two of the sourcebooks by adapting, updating and adding chapters to her book A
Rights-Based Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood,
published by Springer, in 2010. Other two sourcebooks are newly prepared by her
with a co-author. She has drawn from a comprehensive international literature
review; curriculum planning and teaching courses on child development, child
welfare and child rights in the USA, India and Singapore; consultancy projects with
Governments of India, Tamil Nadu and Goa and with international organisations
such as UNICEF, Child Protection Working Group and Save the Children; col-
laboration with voluntary organisations such as Butterflies and Child Rights in Goa;
teacher training in schools; and experience of conducting and facilitating work-
shops for adolescents.
v
Foreword to the Series
Children are the raison d’être for us at Child Rights and You (CRY) which began
work in the late 1970s through the dynamism of its founder, the late Rippan Kapur,
who along with seven friends registered this organisation. CRY has nurtured its
founder’s vision and grown from strength to strength over the decades spanning
across a range of rights for children.
Children form approximately one-third of India’s population, yet they and the
issues they face are not prioritised. Despite having some positive and progressive
laws, policies and programmes, the situation still remains grim, with disheartening
trends seen in nearly all child rights indicators over the past decade and more.
Children have equal fundamental rights as adults and are not lesser or half citizens
on the basis of their age. At CRY, we believe that every child has a right to
childhood and the right to live, learn, grow and play.
The provisions of the Indian constitution along with India’s ratification of the
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) in 1992 give all
children the right to life, health, nutrition, name and a nationality; the right to
protection from exploitation, abuse and neglect; right to development towards
education, care, leisure, recreation and cultural activities; and the right to
participation.
Child participation is one of the four core principles of the UNCRC, which
asserts that children and young people up to the age of 18 have the right to freely
express their views and feelings and that there is an obligation to listen to children’s
views, enabling their participation in all matters affecting them within the family,
schools, public and civic life.
CRY envisions broadening the discourse on child rights to incorporate child
development, which entails physical, emotional, social and psychological growth. It
also aims to understand the child from the yardsticks of her age-appropriate
milestones and the related skills that she needs to achieve to lead an optimally
functioning life and thus become more autonomous and responsible.
These sourcebooks on Rights-Based Direct Practice with Children endeavour to
ensure the assimilation of a multidisciplinary and comprehensive approach to
understand the child as a holistic being. They aim to bridge theories with practice
vii
viii Foreword to the Series
using a rights-based perspective. The sourcebooks also aim to bridge the gaps
between the adult and the child binary by providing an inclusive and participative
approach to working with children; thus, they are not aimed only towards children
but also towards adults as receivers of the input. These books will enable the
primary duty-bearers to create and facilitate integrated preventive services for
children.
CRY’s objective in undertaking this work is to see that children undergo
transformation such that they are able to exercise their agency based on evolving
capacities in matters that affect them and that they are treated with dignity, respect
and equity by adults. At CRY, we believe that adults or the primary duty-bearers,
including parents, need to be engaged and educated about these rights-based
practices in all spaces such as family, school and community at large, resulting in
attitudinal shifts, thereby enabling behavioural change both for adults and for
children.
The contents of these sourcebooks were pilot tested with children and parents in
eight states where CRY has been actively engaged with children and communities.
It was observed that after the trainings, children were much more confident,
assertive and empowered with reference to their self and their environment. Some
children were instrumental in bringing about relevant changes in their homes and
schools and communities, taking responsibility for themselves as well as for their
peers, thus strengthening our conviction in these sourcebooks. We urge various
development and academic organisations to use this model for creating meaningful
change in their fields of learning and practice.
We are sure that this wonderful series in which Dr. Murli Desai has created a
practical model for such work will play a role in creating a prevention and pro-
tection model for children in different environments and vulnerabilities in an effort
to meet CRY’s vision of ‘a happy, healthy and creative child whose rights are
protected and honoured in a society that is built on respect for dignity, justice and
equity for all’.
With hope and faith
December 2016 Puja Marwaha

Chief Executive
Child Rights and You
Introduction to the Series
Aims and Target Groups
The series of Sourcebooks on Rights-based Direct Practice with Children provides

a comprehensive source material to facilitate participatory group workshops and
provide reference material for teachers, trainers, facilitators and fieldworkers on
direct practice with children. Each Sourcebook provides multidisciplinary concepts
and theories on the theme and subthemes, and activities and tools based on these.
It first aims to facilitate participatory group workshops on the methodology of
rights-based direct practice with children for teachers, trainers/facilitators, students
and fieldworkers. Those trained can then implement the methodology with children
and their primary duty-bearers in the following preventative framework: child
empowerment services at the primary prevention level for all children; supple-
mentary childcare and child and family support services at the secondary prevention
level for children at risk; and substitute childcare, child protection and justice and
child rehabilitation services at the tertiary prevention level for children with
socio-legal problems. They can also use it as an ongoing reference material to guide
and retrain them and provide feedback for revision of the Sourcebooks periodically
and use it as a reference material for policy and programme planning for children.
The series comprises all the areas of rights-based direct practice with children:
the theories, ideology and methodology of rights-based direct practice with chil-
dren; life skills development and child rights education for children and their
primary duty-bearers for primary prevention; and child rights-based service delivery
systems for secondary and tertiary preventions.
This series is prepared for the following institutional and individual target
groups, prepared with examples from India, but relevant to all developing countries
all over the world: colleges and departments of social work and child development
and their teachers and students of the courses on child rights and work with chil-
dren; colleges and departments of educational psychology, mental health, human
rights and teacher education and their teachers and students of courses on children;
training institutions run by government organisations that conduct training
ix
x Introduction to the Series
programmes for work with children and their trainers and trainees for the various
schemes for child development and child protection; schools and teachers; and
child-centred government and voluntary organisations and their fieldworkers/
socialworkers/development workers and counsellors.
Conceptual Framework
The conceptual framework for the Sourcebook series comprises linkages among
theories, ideology and self with the methodology of rights-based direct practice
with children (Fig. 1).
The theories of child development and childhood mainly comprise psychosocial
theories of development in childhood and adolescence; ecological theories of
diversity in family and childhood; and critical theories of deconstruction of prob-
lems in childhood.
The ideology of child rights (Fig. 2) mainly comprises the values, categories
and principles, drawing from the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the
Child (1989). The values of child rights are inherent dignity and the equal and
inalienable rights of all members of the human family; and peace, dignity, toler-
ance, freedom, equality and justice. Child rights principles comprise the dignity
of the child, primary consideration to the best interests of the child, universality and
non-discrimination, and state and societal accountability. The categories of child
Theories
Rights-
based Direct
Methodology PracƟce Ideology
with
Children
Self
Fig. 1 Conceptual framework of rights-based direct practice with children

Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xi
Child Rights
Values &
Principles
Rights-based
Vision for
Children’s
Well-Being
Categories Rights-based
Service
of Child Delivery
Rights Systems
Fig. 2 Ideologies of child rights
rights are child’s participation rights, development rights, family rights and pro-
tection rights. The rights-based service delivery systems comprise the compre-
hensive integrated systems approach, preventative approach, universal approach,
community-based approach and family-based approach.
The rights-based vision for children’s well-being comprises growing up with
dignity in a democratic family and supportive community; achieving enriched
development through health, education and play and recreation; developing
self-awareness, proactive thinking skills, emotional intelligence, sensitive inter-
personal communication skills and collaborative interpersonal relationship skills;
playing a decisive and responsible role in their own life and a participatory role in
the family, school, associations and community, and with the state as citizens; and
being protected from discrimination, poverty, neglect, parental deprivation, vio-
lence, conflict with law and association with armed conflict.
The self-attributes of psychosocial life skills for self-awareness and self-
empowerment of the teachers/trainers/facilitators, students/fieldworkers, children
and their primary duty-bearers are grouped into self-empowerment, proactive
thinking skills, emotional intelligence, sensitive interpersonal communication skills
and collaborative interpersonal relationship skills.
Direct practice with children comprises face-to-face work with children and their
primary duty-bearers. The methodology of direct practice with children (see Fig. 3)
comprises the services, approaches, methods and skills of the professions of social
work and counselling as applied to work with children. Services for children are
divided into primary, secondary and tertiary level services. The primary prevention
services for all children comprise child development services and child empower-
ment services. The secondary prevention services for children at risk comprise
xii Introduction to the Series
Services for
Children at
Primary,
Secondary and
TerƟary Level of
PrevenƟon
Methodology of
Direct PracƟce
with Children
Approaches of Methods of
Professional PracƟce with
Engagement with Children
Children
Fig. 3 Methodology of Direct Practice with Children
supplementary childcare services: day/night/after-school care for children, and child

and family support services. The tertiary prevention services for children with
socio-legal problems comprise substitute childcare services: foster family care,
adoption and institutional care for children, child protection services, services for
justice for children and child rehabilitation services.
The approaches of professional engagement with children comprise
strengths-based approach, person-centred approach, culture-sensitive approach,
participatory approach and ethical approach. The methods of practice with children
comprise the rights-based method of comprehensive, integrated, systemic, pre-
ventative, universal, family and community-based service delivery systems for
children; the method of participatory group workshops for empowerment of chil-
dren and their primary duty-bearers; the method of case management for care and
protection of children and their parents at the secondary and tertiary prevention
levels; and the method of outcomes-based project cycle for service delivery systems
for children and their parents.
Methodology of Training
This series recommends the methodology of facilitating participatory group

workshops for training of teachers, trainers/facilitators and fieldworkers as well for
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xiii
conducting workshops for children and their primary duty-bearers. The core
components of this methodology are experiential learning and group process;
facilitating participation and maximising learning instead of teaching; etc. Selection
of the methods depends on the type of topics. An assessment of the initial under-
standing of or initiation into a topic may be carried out by brainstorming or rounds.
Knowledge-focused topics may be learnt through lecturettes/presentations,
self-study and small group discussions. Attitude-focused topics may be learnt
through reflective self-assessment, and pairing and sharing. Skill-based topics may
be learnt through experiential methods such as role-plays and simulations.
Field-based topics may be learnt through discussion of video films and case studies,
field observations and inviting practitioners. All the methods need to be followed by
self-reflection and discussion in small/large groups.
Structure
All the Sourcebooks include this introduction to the series. Each Sourcebook also
includes Preface, Contents, Lists of Summary Charts, Lists of Activities and
English–Hindi Glossary of the Sourcebook followed by the modules. Each module
starts with the prerequisite modules (to ensure sequencing and linkages) and the
module aim and learner objectives. The first section focuses on the introduction
of the module with reference to the overall multidisciplinary concepts and theories
for developing the teachers’/trainers’/facilitators’ understanding of the module and
one or more Introductory Activities to introduce the module and the units of the
module. Each module is divided into units. Each unit is divided into multidisci-
plinary concepts and theories for developing the teachers’/trainers'/facilitators’
understanding of the unit and a range of relevant activities that they can conduct.
The Sourcebook provides one or more activities for each unit. Each activity
comprises learner outcome, procedure and tool (if any), questions for discussion
and time estimate. When planning the implementation of a module, the teachers/
trainers/facilitators will have to use their discretion to select the appropriate
activities or adapt them according to the target group (students/fieldworkers/
children/primary duty-bearers), their situational context and time available. For
facilitating participatory workshops, the activities suggested by the fieldworkers/
children/parents may be welcome if they meet the learner outcomes. The tools
provided for the activities comprise video films, stories, case studies, exercises and
charts summarising the concepts and theories in simple words. Local examples,
stories and songs can also be invited from the participants, provided they meet the
learner outcomes. Every module provides a concluding activity that can be used to
ascertain if the participants have achieved the learner objectives and reflect on
application of the learning. Each module ends with the references used for writing
the modules.
Sourcebook-I: Introduction to Rights-based
Direct Practice with Children
Preface
Aim and Learner Objectives
The sourcebook-I on Introduction to Rights-Based Direct Practice with Children

aims to introduce the multidisciplinary concepts and theories on child development
and childhood, the ideology of child rights and methods for direct practice with
children. The knowledge objectives comprise developing an understanding of the
concepts and theories on child development and childhood, for application to direct
practice with children. These theories comprise psychosocial theories of child
development and development in early and middle childhood and adolescence;
ecological theories of history and diversity in family life and childhood in their
environmental context; critical theories of deconstruction of problems in childhood
through prejudicing ideologies and social construction of childhood and adoles-
cence. Lastly, the theory of linkages among and the cycle of prejudicing ideologies,
vulnerability, poverty, neglect, separation from parents, violence, conflict with law
in childhood and association with armed conflict, is used to understand their effects
in childhood and implications for adult life.
The sourcebook further aims to introduce the ideology of child rights with
reference to child rights values of peace, dignity, tolerance, freedom, equality and
justice; child rights to participation, development, family life and protection; child
rights principles of dignity of the child, primary consideration to the best interests
of the child, universality and non-discrimination, and state and societal account-
ability; and child rights approach to service delivery systems with reference to
comprehensive integrated systems approach, preventative approach, universal
approach, community-based approach and family-based approach.
The sourcebook aims to develop the following psychosocial life skills as
foundational attributes: self-empowerment with reference to self-identity,
self-esteem comprising self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love, self-responsibility,
integrity, self-confidence and assertiveness; proactive thinking skills with reference
to flexible, creative, rational, critical and positive thinking skills and their appli-
cation to decision-making, problem-solving and time management skills; emotional
xvii
xviii Preface
intelligence with reference to awareness of emotions in self and awareness of

emotions in others by way of empathy, appropriate expression of emotions, regu-
lation of negative emotions and enrichment of positive emotions; sensitive inter-
personal communication skills with reference to sensitive verbal and non-verbal
skills, listening skills and feedback skills; and collaborative interpersonal rela-
tionship skills with reference to positive perception of and positive feelings for
others, win-win goals, cohesion, interdependence, adaptability and collaborative
conflict management skills with others.
Lastly, the sourcebook aims to teach the methodology of rights-based direct
practice with children with reference to the strengths-based, person-centred,
culture-sensitive, participatory and ethical approaches of professional engagement
with children; the method and skills of participatory group workshops for children
and their primary duty-bearers; and the method of facilitating child empowerment
services with reference to children’s associations, life skill development and child
rights education for children and their primary duty-bearers, and parenting
education.
Piloting of the Sourcebook
After preparing all the Training sourcebooks, I conducted a six-day Training of

Trainers (TOT) Workshop-1 on 15–20 December 2014, to train 11 staff of the
Development Support Team from the four regions of Child Rights and You
(CRY) on this sourcebook. The trained CRY staff then undertook pilot projects of
training select project staff of select project partners and implementing the training
with the children of their collectives and their parents, together with the project
staff.
The feedback received from the CRY trainers, the project staff, children of the
CRY collectives and their parents was extremely positive, and they wished they had
such opportunities earlier and wanted more. Some of the major feedback received
from CRY trainers includes the following:
• The sourcebook and the sessions are well designed. It provides a range of things
that we can do to empower children. It was extremely useful for planning as well
as conducting the workshops. All the topics and activities are useful, but not
everything was used due to time constraint. Longer and more training pro-
grammes are needed to make maximum use of the sourcebook. A calendar of
sessions may be planned for the project staff and children and parents of each
collective to cover the range of topics in the sourcebook. The sourcebook is a
good reference material for the CRY trainers/Development Support staff.
• A lot of research has gone into preparing the sourcebook to make it useful for
several purposes. We liked the linkages drawn among self, theories, values and
skills. The concept of adultism was new and helped us understand childhood
better. The strengths-based approach, person-centred approach and
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xix
culture-sensitive approaches provided enriched and insightful skills. The

methodology of an open and positive learning environment and the use of tools
such as role-plays, stories and audio-visuals facilitated learning.
• Sessions on life skill development were found extremely useful. So far we had
excluded ourselves from our work. This theme helped us take the journey that
starts from self. We feel connected and part of the process, rather than the
driver/movers of the process from outside. It is the first time we saw how life
skills can empower us for the rights-based approach. Similarly, for the first time,
the staff realised the importance of connecting to the children. For the first time,
the children realised the importance of communicating with their parents, and
for the first time, the parents realised the importance of communicating with
their children.
• There is a need for translation of the sourcebooks in Hindi and other local
languages for easy use by the project staff. However, attempts must be made to
retain and maintain the quality of content as it is in the present form, otherwise
there is a risk of diluting the content during the translation job.
Subsequently, TOTs were conducted for all the CRY Development Support staff
on the theme.
Module Plan
The modules of the sourcebook are planned as follows:
1. The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops
Part 1: Foundation of Life Skills

2. Self-Empowerment
3. Proactive Thinking Skills
4. Emotional Intelligence
5. Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills
6. Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills
Part 2: Introduction to Theories, Rights and Skills of Engagement with Children

7. Psychosocial Theories of Child Development
8. Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood Diversity
9. Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood
10. The Ideology of Child Rights
11. Approaches and Skills of Engagement with Children
12. Parenting Education
xx Preface
Module Aim and Objectives
The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops: The aim of this module is

to learn the methodology of planning and facilitating participatory group workshops
through the following learner objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of the methodology of participatory group
workshops with reference to group process, teamwork and experiential learning;
2. Develop the skills to carry out planning for participatory group workshops,
comprising selection and baseline assessment of the target group, and planning the
aim and learner objectives, programme schedule and organisational arrangements;
3. Develop the skills to use varying methods for activities for participatory group
workshops, namely lecturette, pairing and sharing, small and large group
activities, rounds and brainstorming, role-plays and simulations, workshops, and
self-reflection and expression;
4. Develop the skills to use varying tools for activities for participatory group
workshops, namely case studies, stories, games and exercises, video films and
other audio-visual aids, and local examples; and
5. Develop the skills of facilitating learning in participatory group workshops
comprising attributes of a good facilitator, the facilitation process and leading
discussion.
Self-Empowerment: The aim of this module is to develop self-empowerment

1. Introduce life skill development with reference to its concept, importance,
objectives and methodology;
2. Examine the concepts and theories of self-awareness and self-empowerment that
can be achieved through development of self-identity, self-esteem, self-
responsibility, integrity, self-confidence and assertiveness;
3. Identify one’s group-levelself-identity or connectiveness with reference to simi-
larities with others in terms of one’s age, gender, disability/ability, sexual orien-
tation, education, occupation, marital status, family identity, hobbies and interests;
4. Explore one’s unique individual-levelself-identity with reference to personality,
likes and dislikes and so on with reference to differences with others;
5. Develop high level of self-esteem by enhancing self-acceptance, self-worth and
self-love;
6. Develop awareness of and reframe self-defence to taking self-responsibility for
one’s thinking, feelings, decisions, communication and behaviour;
7. Explore one’s open, blind, hidden and unknown self and expand the open self
for integrity and genuineness;
8. Develop confidence in one’s strengths and enjoy working to reach one’s goals;
and
9. Develop the skills of assertiveness by way of acting in one’s own interest and
standing up for one’s and others’ rights when these are violated.
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xxi
Proactive Thinking Skills: The aim of this module is to develop proactive thinking
skills through the following learner objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of multiple intelligence and thinking;
2. Develop awareness of and reframe thinking patterns that unrealistically react to
the situation with realistic proactive thinking skills for making choices to
respond to the situation;
3. Develop awareness of and reframe rigid thinking patterns with flexible and
creative thinking skills;
4. Develop awareness of and reframe irrational thinking patterns with rational and
critical thinking skills by valuing clarity, reasoning, evidence, specificity, con-
sistency, contextualisation of what is ‘normal’ and accepting alternatives to
‘normal’;
5. Develop awareness of and reframe negative thinking patterns with positive
thinking skills of acknowledgement and gratitude for the positive in oneself and
others, and in one’s past, present and future; and
6. Learn to apply proactive thinking skills to decision-making, problem-solving
and time management skills.
Emotional Intelligence: The aim of this module is to develop emotional intelli-

gence through the following learner objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of emotions and emotional intelligence nec-
essary for promotion of mental health and prevention of mental health problems;
2. Develop the skills to be aware of and express one’s own emotions and be
sensitive to others’ emotions by way of empathy;
3. Develop awareness of the negative emotions and learn the skills to regulate
expression of healthy negative emotions and prevent unhealthy negative emo-
tions by proactive thinking skills, breathing exercises, accepting reality, letting
go and forgiveness;
4. Develop awareness of the positive emotions and learn the skills to enrich them
by using positive thinking skills;
5. Develop the skills of warmth and unconditional love for others, by finding
something beautiful and worthwhile in all;
6. Develop the skills to use smile, humour and laughter as tools of joy; and
7. Develop the skills to take self-responsibility for one’s happiness, make happi-
ness as a goal in life and be happy in any situation.
Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills: The aim of this module is to

develop sensitive interpersonal communication skills through the following learner
objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of interpersonal communication with refer-
ence to its elements and importance of context;
2. Develop the skills of open communication which is non-judgemental, permis-
sive, spontaneous, empathic, equal and provisional;
xxii Preface
3. Develop the skills of interpreting and using body language to be congruent with
the verbal language;
4. Develop the skills of sensitive listening comprising of just listening, observing
body language, expressing concern, expressing understanding and acceptance
and preserving and promoting self-esteem;
5. Develop the skills of giving negative feedback directly and clearly, requesting
behaviour change and receiving negative feedback without being defensive; and
6. Develop the skills of giving genuine and unconditional positive feedback by
communicating appreciation to others and accepting appreciation from others.
Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills: The aim of this module is to

develop collaborative interpersonal relationship skills through the following learner
objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of interpersonal relationships;
2. Develop the skills of egalitarian perception of others, recognition of strengths in
them and celebration of differences with them;
3. Develop positive feelings for others such as warmth, humility and genuineness;
4. Learn to make win-win as the goal in interpersonal relationships;
5. Value the requirements of close relationships with reference to balanced cohe-
sion, interdependence with others through semi-openself-boundary, and struc-
tured and flexible adaptability;
6. Develop the skills for collaborative conflict management such as attitude
adjustment, reducing defensiveness in others, understanding the other person’s
perception of the conflict and win-win goals; and
7. Learn to apply the interpersonal relationship skills to relationships with peer
groups and friendships.
Psychosocial Theories of Child Development: The aim of this module is to

review the psychosocial theories of life cycle of development in childhood and
adolescence through the following learner objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of child development with reference to
principles, determinants, development stages and developmental tasks and
Freud’s psychosexual theory;
2. Review the critique of developmentalism which is the ‘ages and stages’ model
of childhood based only on biology, so considered universal;
3. Review the principles and stages of development in early childhood comprising
of infancy, toddlerhood and preschool-age, laying the foundation for all later
development;
4. Review the development in middle childhood with reference to development of
cognitive skills and multiple intelligences, industry to acquire knowledge and
skills, attitudes and habits towards education and work, developing gender
identity and making friends; and
5. Review the theories of development in adolescence with reference to puberty
and related changes in sexuality, development of identity, independence from
parents, dominance of peer relationships and risk-taking behaviours.
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xxiii
Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood Diversity: The aim of this module
is to review the ecological theories of family and childhood diversity through the
following learner objectives:
1. Review the systems theory and the life-course perspective to understand the
history and diversity of family and childhood in the context of their
environment;
2. Review the diversity in the family as a production unit in the pre/non-industrial/
rural/tribal context, characterised by collectivism, kinship orientation, patriarchy
and familism, and implications for collective child rearing and puberty marking
the end of childhood;
3. Review the homogenisation of the family as a consumption unit in the industrial
context, characterised by nuclearisation of family, growing consumerism and
individualism, and implications for vulnerabilities of poverty, neglect, abuse and
commercial exploitation in childhood; and
4. Review the diversity in the family in the post-industrial context characterised by
changing family, marriage and childbearing norms and implications for children
facing issues of family identity, lack of legal support and early social maturation.
Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood: The aim of this

module is to review the critical theories of deconstruction of problems in childhood
1. Examine the concepts and theories of the prejudicing ideology of adultism and
its implications for vulnerability to protective exclusion of children and child
abuse;
2. Review the prejudicing ideologies of sexism, casteism and racism, and ableism
and their implications for vulnerability to exclusion of girls, Dalits, tribals and
children with disability;
3. Review the social construction of childhood by schooling and implications for
domestication, dependency and seclusion of children;
4. Review the Western scientific construction of childhood and implications for
universal chronologisation of childhood, discontinuity between childhood and
adulthood, and construction of ‘normal’ and ‘deviant’;
5. Review the social construction of adolescence and implications for adolescence
getting termed as a disorder and ‘juvenile delinquency’ getting socially con-
structed; and
6. Review the linkages and the cycle of adultism, vulnerability, poverty, neglect,
separation from parents, violence (abuse and commercial exploitation), and conflict
with law in childhood and their effects in childhood and implications for adult life.
The Ideology Child Rights: The aim of this module is to understand and value the
ideology of child rights through the following learner objectives:
1. Examine the ideology of child rights approach and how it is different from the
needs approach to children;
xxiv Preface
2. Review the history, values and limitations of the United Nations Convention on
the Rights of the Child;
3. Develop awareness of child rights and responsibilities for family life, devel-
opment, protection and participation;
4. Make a commitment to the child rights principles of dignity of the child, primary
consideration to the best interests of the child, universality and
non-discrimination, and state and societal accountability; and
5. Develop awareness of rights-based service delivery systems for children with
reference to availability and quality of services and comprehensive, systemic,
community-based and preventative approaches.
Child Rights-based Engagement with Children: The aim of this module is to

learn the approaches and skills of engagement with children through the following
learner objectives:
1. Examine the concepts and theories of professional relationship and the method
of establishing a professional engagement with children;
2. Develop the skills of strengths-based approach of engagement with children
with reference to identification of the child’s strengths, making the child aware
of his/her strengths and building on the child’s strengths;
3. Develop the skills of person-centred approach of engagement with children with
reference to using unconditional positive regard and empathy;
4. Develop the skills of culture-sensitive approach of engagement with children with
reference to being attentive to ethnic, cultural and religious diversity among them;
5. Learn the skills of participatory approach of engagement with children by
designing the whole project in a child-friendly and supportive way, assuming
children as the real experts; and
6. Develop the skills of ethical approach of engagement with children with ref-
erence to avoiding conflict of interest/professional boundaries, privacy and
confidentiality, and informed consent with children.
Parenting Education: The aim of this module is to learn the content, methods and
skills for parenting education through the following learner objectives:
1. Understand the importance of parents as the main primary duty-bearers of child
rights;
2. Develop the skills to plan the content and steps of parenting education;
3. Develop the marital relationship skills such as positive perception and positive
feelings for the other, win-win goals, cohesion, interdependence and adapt-
ability, and collaborative conflict management skills; and
4. Develop parenting skills such as assertive parenting style, appreciation for
child’s play, assertive communication with the child, developing child’s life
skills and positive disciplining of the child.
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xxv
Acknowledgements
I have prepared this sourcebook by using my book A Rights-Based Preventative

Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood, published by Springer, in
2010, as a starting point. I not only adapted and updated the modules from this
book, but also added several modules to meet the requirements of the methodology
of rights-based direct practice with children. I have drawn from the comprehensive
international literature review; curriculum planning and teaching courses on child
development, child welfare and child rights in the USA, India and Singapore;
consultancy projects with Governments of India, Tamil Nadu and Goa and with
international organisations such as UNICEF, Child Protection Working Group and
Save the Children; collaboration with voluntary organisations such as Butterflies
and Child Rights in Goa; teacher training in schools; and experience of conducting
and facilitating workshops for adolescents. I am indebted to each and every col-
league and participant for their inputs into my thinking that has gone into devel-
oping and organising knowledge for this book.
I am very grateful to Ms. Puja Marwaha, the Chief Executive of CRY and her
colleague Ms. Vijayalakshmi Arora for giving me the opportunity to carry out this
very exciting project of linking theory and rights with practice. I am grateful to Ms.
Sangeeta Kapila of CRY for providing prompt cooperation at every stage and to Dr.
Helen Joseph who was my cofacilitator for the TOT-1. With every training pro-
gramme, my understanding about the subject and the methodology grows, thanks
mainly to interaction with the participants. The participants of this TOT: Protik
Banerjee, Trina Chakrabarti, Ashim Ghosh, Dinesh Kakkoth, Isan Magimaidoss,
Sangeeta Mansharamani, Pramod Pradhan, Praveen Singh, Vidya Raman and
Lokashish Saha were qualified and experienced and yet very open to new learning.
They shared important experiences and insights and therefore contributed signifi-
cantly to the success of the training. The kind of learning that they shared in the
feedback session showed their level of maturity. Their suggestions have been very
useful for revising the sourcebook.
Mumbai, India Murli Desai

Former Professor
Tata Institute of Social Sciences
Contents
1 The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops . . . . ....... 1

Introduction to the Methodology of Participatory Group
Workshops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Planning for Participatory Group Workshops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Facilitating Participatory Group Workshops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Concluding Activity: Achievement of the Learner Objectives . . . . . . . 23
Appendix: Summary Charts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Part I Foundation of Life Skills

2 Self-Empowerment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Introduction to Life Skill Development. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Introduction to Self-Empowerment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Self-Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Self-Esteem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Self-Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Integrity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Self-Confidence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Assertiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Appendix: Summary Charts and Exercises . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
3 Proactive Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
Introduction to Proactive Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
Flexible and Creative Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Rational and Critical Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Positive Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Application of Proactive Thinking Skills to Decision-Making
Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....... 86
xxvii
xxviii Contents
Application of Proactive Thinking Skills to Problem–Solving

Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 87
Application of Proactive Thinking Skills to Time Management
Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
4 Emotional Intelligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Introduction to Emotional Intelligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Emotional Awareness and Expression. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Regulating Negative Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Enrichment of Positive Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
5 Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Verbal Communication Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Body Language Skills. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Sensitive Listening Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Feedback Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
6 Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Introduction to Interpersonal Relationship Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Positive Perception of Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Positive Feelings for Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157
Win-Win Goals in Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
Requirements of Close Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
Collaborative Conflict Management Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Application of Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills to
Friendship Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Part II Introduction to Theories, Rights and Skills of Engagement

with Children
7 Psychosocial Theories of Child Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
Introduction to Theories of Child Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
Theories of Development in Early Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xxix
Theories of Development in Middle Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196

Theories of Development in Adolescence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213
8 Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood Diversity . . . . . . . .. 215
Introduction to Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood
Diversity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 215
Theories of Family in the Pre/Non-industrial Context and
Implications for Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 220
Changes in Family in the Industrial Context and Implications
for Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 224
Changes in Family in the Post-industrial Context and Implications
for Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239
9 Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood . . .. 243
Introduction to Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . . .. 243
Prejudicing Ideologies and Vulnerability to Exclusion
in Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 247
Social Construction of Childhood and Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . 252
Linkages and the Cycle of Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 258
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 271
10 The Ideology of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 275
Introduction to the Ideology of Child Rights and Responsibilities . . . . 275
Categories of Child Rights and Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 280
Principles of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 291
Rights-Based Approaches of Service Delivery Systems
for Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 297
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 306
11 Approaches and Skills of Engagement with Children . . . . . . . . . .. 309
Introduction to Child Rights-Based Engagement with Children . . . . .. 309
Strengths-Based and Person-Centred Approaches of Engagement
with Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 313
Culture-Sensitive Approach of Engagement with Children . . . . . . . . .. 315
Participatory Approach of Engagement with Children . . . . . . . . . . . .. 318
xxx Contents
Ethical Approach of Engagement with Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 321

References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 331
12 Parenting Education . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333
Introduction to Child Rights-Based Parenting Education . . . . . . . . . . . 333
Marital Relationship Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 337
Parenting Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 340
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 353
English–Hindi Glossary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 355
List of Summary Charts
1.1 Teamwork skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

1.2 Concept of the group process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
1.3 Benefits of the group process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
1.4 Experiential learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
1.5 Type of method and estimation of time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
1.6 Techniques of leading a discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
1.7 Process of the ORID questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
2.1 Introduction to life skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
2.2 Resources for self-empowerment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
2.3 Personality types . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
2.4 Comparison of passive, aggressive and assertive behaviours . . . . . . . 61
3.1 Reactive versus proactive thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
3.2 Skills of creative thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
3.3 Alternate perceptions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
3.4 Gratitude prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
3.5 Decision-making procedure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
3.6 Time management matrix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
4.1 Understanding emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
4.2 Functions of emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
4.3 Introduction to emotional intelligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
4.4 Healthy response to anger-provoking situations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
5.1 Protective versus open communication skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
5.2 Discriminatory versus non-discriminatory language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
5.3 Difference between verbal and body language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
5.4 Insensitive versus sensitive listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
5.5 Giving ineffective versus effective negative feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
6.1 Interpersonal relationship skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
6.2 Recognition of strengths in faults . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
6.3 Win-win goals in relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
6.4 Interdependence in relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
xxxi
xxxii List of Summary Charts
6.5 Levels of cohesion in relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176

6.6 Collaborative conflict management skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
7.1 Development stages in childhood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
7.2 Psychosocial stages in childhood, psychosocial crises and central
processes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
7.3 Concept, determinants and domains of child development . . . . . . . . . 208
7.4 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems in infancy . . . . . . 208
7.5 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems
in toddlerhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
7.6 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems in middle
childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210
7.7 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems in
adolescence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
7.8 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems in
preschool-age . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 212
8.1 Child’s ecological systems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
8.2 Diversity in childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
8.3 Diversity in family and childhood in the environmental
context . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239
9.1 Prejudicing ideologies and problems in childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 267
9.2 Social construction of childhood and problems in childhood . . . . . . . 268
9.3 Linkages and cycle of problems in childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 269
10.1 Comparison of needs approach and rights approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303
10.2 Child rights and responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303
10.3 Child rights to participation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 304
10.4 Principles of child rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 304
10.5 Rights-based vision for children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 305
11.1 Professional relationship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 326
11.2 Approaches of professional engagement with children . . . . . . . . . . . . 326
11.3 Strengths-based approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 327
11.4 Person-centred approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 327
11.5 Culture-sensitive approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 328
11.6 Adultist versus participatory approach with children . . . . . . . . . . . . . 329
11.7 Ethical principles of engagement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 330
12.1 Parents as primary duty-bearer for child rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 351
12.2 Objectives of parenting education . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 351
12.3 Parenting skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 352
List of Activities
1.1 Teamwork . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
1.2 Group Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
1.3 Planning of Participatory Group Workshops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
1.4 Learning and Practising Facilitation of Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
2.1 Introduction to Life Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
2.2 Concept and Resources for Self-Empowerment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
2.3 I Am… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
2.4 My Group Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
2.5 My Unique Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
2.6 Self-Exploration of My Personality Type . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
2.7 Story of Acceptance of Myself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
2.8 Story on Self-Worth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
2.9 Self-Assessment of Type of Intelligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
2.10 Self-Esteem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
2.11 Checklist for Indicators of Lack of Self-Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
2.12 Activities on Self-Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
2.13 Johari Window. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
2.14 Activities on Self-Confidence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
2.15 Role Plays on Assertive Behaviour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
3.1 Introduction to Reactive Versus Proactive Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
3.2 Story on Accepting Reality and Adaptability . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
3.3 Activities on Creative Thinking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
3.4 Reframing Irrational Thinking with Rational Thinking Skills . . . . . . 78
3.5 Activities on Critical Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
3.6 Awareness of Negative Thinking Patterns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
3.7 Story of Positive Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
3.8 Pairing and Sharing Positive Thinking About the Past. . . . . . . . . . . . 83
3.9 Gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
3.10 Positive Affirmations for the Future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
3.11 Role-Plays on Decision-Making Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
xxxiii
xxxiv List of Activities
3.12 Game of Practising Problem-Solving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

3.13 Self-Assessment and Improving Time Management . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
4.1 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
4.2 Dumb Charade on Awareness and Expression of Emotions . . . . . . . . 103
4.3 Activities on Empathy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
4.4 Exercise on Reflection on Personal Reaction to Emotional
Problems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
4.5 Small Group Discussion on Regulating Negative Emotions . . . . . . . . 113
4.6 Story of the Tricks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
4.7 Breathing Exercises to Regulate Anger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
4.8 Reflections on Forgiving and Letting Go of Hurt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
4.9 Capacity to Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
4.10 Is It Possible to Love Others Unconditionally? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
4.11 Sharing Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
4.12 Smile Please . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
4.13 Laughter Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
4.14 Who Is in Charge of My Happiness? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
4.15 Prescription for Happiness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
5.1 Game of Passing the Message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
5.2 Cultural Variation in Verbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
5.3 Role-Plays on Open Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
5.4 Can Actions Speak Louder Than Words? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
5.5 Role-Plays on Sensitive Listening Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
5.6 Role-Plays on Giving and Receiving Negative Feedback. . . . . . . . . . 144
5.7 Activities on Positive Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
6.1 Whose Balloon? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152
6.2 Game of Guess Whose Strengths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155
6.3 Recognition of Strengths in Faults . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155
6.4 Video Discussion on Diversity in the World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
6.5 Warm and Genuine Greetings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
6.6 Exercise on Self-Assessment of Goals in Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . 159
6.7 Exercise on Self-Assessment of Interdependence, Cohesion
and Adaptability in Interpersonal Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
6.8 Story on Futility of Verbal Aggression . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
6.9 Role Reversal to Understand the Other Perspective . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
6.10 Story on the Third Alternative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166
6.11 Role-Plays on Collaborative Method to Manage Conflict . . . . . . . . . 166
6.12 Story of Apologising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
6.13 Story on Differences as an Advantage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170
6.14 Story of the Stork and the Fox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
6.15 Supporting a Friend . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
6.16 Reflection on Conflict Between Expectations of Peer Group,
Self and Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..... 172
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children xxxv
7.1 Reflections on Effects of Heredity and Environment on One’s

Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
7.2 Small Group Discussion on One’s Own Childhood Stages . . . . . . . . 189
7.3 Critique of Developmentalism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
7.4 Small Group Discussion on Development in Early and Middle
Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
7.5 Small Group Discussion on Development in Adolescence . . . . . . . . . 205
8.1 Video Discussion on Diversity in Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 218
8.2 Understanding the Influence of Family and Community Life
on My Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219
8.3 Small Group Discussion on Family Life and Childhood in the
Non-industrial Context . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
8.4 Small Group Discussion on the Common Characteristics
of Family Life in the Industrial Context . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230
8.5 Small Group Discussion on Family and Childhood in the
Post-industrial Context . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 235
9.1 Introduction to Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . . . 246
9.2 Exercise on My Childhood Experience of Adultism . . . . . . . . . . . . . 251
9.3 Small Group Discussion on Social Construction of Childhood
and Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 258
9.4 Small Group Discussion on Understanding the Cycle of
Problems in Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265
10.1 Small Group Discussion on Ideology of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . 279
10.2 Artwork on Categories of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 289
10.3 Exercise on Matching Child Rights with Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . 290
10.4 Role-Plays on Principles of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 296
10.5 Planning Workshops on Awareness of Child Rights for Primary
Duty-Bearers of Child Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 296
10.6 Small Group Discussion on Rights-Based Approaches of Service
Delivery Systems for Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 302
11.1 Introduction to the Methodology of Professional Engagement
with Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 312
11.2 First Encounter with a Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 312
11.3 Role-Plays on the Strengths-Based and Person-Centred
Approaches . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 314
11.4 Self-Reflections on Culture-Sensitivity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 317
11.5 Exercise on My Attitude to Children’s Participation . . . . . . . . . . . . . 321
11.6 Small Group Discussion on Ethical Principles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 324
11.7 Case Study Discussion on Ethical Principles and Dilemmas . . . . . . . 324
12.1 Parents as Primary Duty-Bearer for Child Rights. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 336
12.2 What is Marriage? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 339
12.3 Marriage Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 339
12.4 Quiz on Gender Roles in Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 340
xxxvi List of Activities
12.5 Sharing Experiences of Parenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 348

12.6 Video Discussion on Parenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 348
12.7 Role-Plays on Parenting Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 349
12.8 Planning Education on Parenting Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 349
Module 1
The Methodology of Participatory
Group Workshops
Introduction to the Methodology of Participatory

Group Workshops
Participatory group workshops are short-term groups, suited to all age groups and
for all purposes, at primary, secondary and tertiary prevention levels. Group pro-
cess, teamwork and experiential learning are at the core of this methodology.
Group Process
Concept of Group: Johnson and Johnson (2009, pp. 5–7) define a group as a
number of individuals who:
• Join together to achieve a goal;
• Are interdependent and influence each other;
• Are interacting, structured by a set of rules and norms; and
• Perceive themselves as a group.
Benefits of the Group: Kirst-Ashman and Hull (2009) identify the following
benefits of groups that go beyond those available in one-to-one relationships:
• Mutual assistance,
• Connecting with others,
• Testing new behaviours in a safer environment,
• Greater ability for goal achievement and
• Wisdom of many for decision-making.
Size of the Target Group: It is therefore important that in a participatory group
workshops, the size of the group is planned to ensure you have enough people
(critical mass) and that you don’t have so many participants that people do not get
© Child Rights and You 2018 1

M. Desai, Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children,
Rights-based Direct Practice with Children,
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_1
2 1 The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops
the chance to contribute. An ideal number ranges from 12 to maximum 25 (Terre

des Hommes, 2008).
Teamwork
According to Johnson and Johnson (2009), an effective group is more than the sum
of its parts as the members commit themselves to maximise their own and others’
potentials. The characteristics of effective groups are as follows:
• Commitment to team goals,
• Positive interdependence,
• Individual and group accountability,
• Face-to-face interaction and two-way communication,
• Distributed leadership and power based on expertise, and
• Constructive resolution of conflicts.
One of the keys to building an effective group is an understanding that each
member brings unique perspectives, talents and skills to the group, which needs to
be valued and fostered so that the group diversity flourishes and grows. This
approach requires significant self-awareness. When a person is aware of one’s
limitations, it instils humility sufficient to seek another’s strengths to compensate
for it. Then that weakness becomes strength because it enables complementariness
to take place. However, when people are unaware of their weaknesses, and act as if
their strengths are sufficient, their strengths become their weaknesses—and their
very undoing for lack of complementariness (Covey, 1997).
Teamwork requires cooperation, which is governed by the principle of mutual
respect. It requires recognising the value of everyone’s part and keeping a positive
attitude. Sometimes an idea is needed, sometimes we need to let go an idea. Sometimes
we need to lead, sometimes we need to follow (adapted from Tillman, 2000).
Experiential Learning
Concept of Experiential Learning: According to Terre des Hommes (2008),

experiential learning is a methodology of learning based on experiencing something
in a practical and participatory way before theorising the experience.
Principles of Experiential Learning: The experiential learning process is based on

the following principles of the theories of Kurt Liwen (cited in Johnson & Johnson,
2009, pp. 50–51):
1. It takes more than information to change action theories, attitudes and beha-
vioural patterns.
2. Effective experiential learning affects the learner’s cognitive structures, attitudes
and values, perceptions, and behavioural patterns.
Introduction to Rights-based Direct Practice with Children 3
3. People believe more in knowledge they have discovered themselves than in

knowledge presented by others.
4. Learning is more effective when it is an active rather than a passive process.
5. The more supportive, accepting and caring the social environment, the freer a
person is to experiment with new behaviours, attitudes and action theories.
6. It is easier to change a person’s action theories, attitudes and behavioural pat-
terns in a group context than in an individual context.
Process of Experiential Learning: Johnson and Johnson (2009) suggest that the
process of experiential learning can be represented as a four-stage cycle as follows:
1. Begin by engaging in behaviour on the basis of your current action theory.
2. Assess the consequences of your actions through reflection and feedback.
3. Reformulate or refine your action theory.
4. Implement your revised action theory by engaging in a modified set of behaviours.
According to Terre des Hommes (2008), the stages of training are practice,
analysis, synthesis and application:
1. Practice: Participants practically experience an activity on the chosen training
topic.
2. Analysis: Feedback is given by and for participants to focus on difficulties they
encountered and reflect on them; with guidance from the facilitator, the par-
ticipants look back objectively on what they felt, thought and experienced as
part of the practical experience.
3. Synthesis: Participants develop a theory together through feedback on their
practical experience. Here, the participants ‘step back’ and start to explore
possibilities for using the new information they have gained.
4. Application: Participants apply the improved strategies; they improve their
practice in order to experience new and more efficient behaviours.
Activities
Introductory Activity 1.1: Teamwork
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn about the
importance and skills of teamwork.
Procedure: Use the following procedure for this activity:

1. Prepare four or five chits with names of different machines written on them. The
examples are sewing machine, oven, airplane, bicycle, washing machine, train
engine, mixer/grinder and pencil sharpener.
2. Divide the participants into four or five small groups and ask each small group
to select a chit and plan to enact the machine selected as a group. Each member
should have a role to play. The enactment should show connections, movements
and sounds.
3. Each group takes turn doing the enactment, which the others have to guess
(adapted from ‘Machines’ by Staley, 1982).
4. Use the following questions to discuss this activity:
• How did the group plan the enactment?
• What all strategies were tried out? What mistakes were made? What lessons
were learnt?
• What strategies worked?
• Were there differing opinions? How were these sorted out?
• How far being receptive to suggestions helped?
• Did you learn complementarity?
• Did you experience interdependence?
• Were the individuals conscious of individual accountability?
• Did individuals provide mutual support?
• How did the group feel when it succeeded?
5. Show the Summary Chart 1.1 to summarise teamwork skills.
Activity Time: 30 min
Activity 1.2: Group Story
group process, and the benefits of working as a group versus individual group learning.
Procedure: Use the following procedure to conduct this activity:

1. Sit in a circle and make a group story.
2. The facilitator starts the story with sentences such as ‘When I was a child…’.
3. The next participant adds a sentence in link to this sentence.
4. Thus, everyone adds a sentence in link to the previous sentences made by
previous participants until the last participant who should give an appropriate
ending sentence.
(1) How were the members sitting? Why?
(2) How does a group work?
(3) What is the outcome of group work?
(4) What are the benefits of working as a group as against individual learning?
(5) What are the difficulties of working as a group?
(6) What was the level of sharing and listening by everyone? Why?
6. Show the following Summary Charts to summarise:
1:2: Concept of the group process
1:3: Benefits of the group process
7. Discuss how they learnt about the group process by experiencing it. Show
Summary Chart 1.4 to discuss what experiential learning is.
8. Introduce the following units of the module:

(a) Planning for Participatory Group Workshops
(b) Facilitating Participatory Group Workshops
Time Estimate: 30 min
Planning for Participatory Group Workshops
Selection and Baseline Assessment of the Target Group
The participatory group workshop may be conducted for any of the following
groups:
• Teachers/trainers/facilitators
• Field workers
• Children in middle childhood/adolescence
• Parents/other primary duty-bearers of children
The group should be more or less homogenous with reference to their life
experiences and purpose of the workshop. For the baseline assessment, a ques-
tionnaire may be administered before the programme starts or in the opening ses-
sion of the programme.
Aim and Learner Objectives
Theme Aim: Each workshop plan will have one central aim based on the theme
selected, which refers to what you want to achieve in the workshop. Equally, a
longer-term plan of work will have an aim, but can be explored in different
workshops or sessions using different activities (Terre des Hommes, 2008). The
theme may comprise a combination of modules from the Sourcebooks.
Learner Objectives: The objective is more specific and can be described as a set of
smaller aims, which relate to the overall aim. Objectives are what you want to reach
by the end of a session (Terre des Hommes, 2008). The focus should be on learner
objectives and not on teacher objectives. The learner objectives should be identified
based upon the baseline assessment of the participants and the total time available
for the programme using the following SMART criteria:
• S-Specific: The objectives must describe a specific future condition.
• M-Measurable: The objectives must have measurable indicators, making it
possible to assess whether they were achieved or not.
• A-Achievable: The objectives must be within the capacity of the partners to
achieve.
• R-Relevant: The objectives must be relevant.

• T-Time-Bound: The objectives are never open-ended; there is an expected date
of accomplishment (adapted from United Nations Development Program, 2009).
Programme Schedule
The programme schedule may include the time allocation for the opening session,
module sessions and the closing session. The duration of each module session may
be planned depending on the age group: half an hour for preschool-age children,
one hour for middle childhood and one and a half to two hours for adolescents and
parents. Plan for at least a 15-min tea/coffee break in a half-day programme and half
an hour break for lunch in full-day programmes.
Planning the Opening Session
The opening session may be planned to include the following essentials:

• Welcome to the group
• Introduction of the facilitators
• Self-introduction by the participants in some innovative way, like playing
‘passing the parcel’ game
• Participants’ expectations from the workshop
• Clarification of the learner objectives
• Methodologies of experiential learning and group process
• Ground rules
• Icebreaker for introducing teamwork such as ‘human machines’
• Formation of committees
• Confirmation of organisational details
Setting Ground Rules: The group may be involved in setting ground rules for the
workshop for self-behaviour, behaviour with reference to the facilitator and behaviour
with reference to other group members. These can be written on a chart which should
be visible throughout the workshop. Examples of such ground rules are given below:
Self-Behaviour:
• Be punctual about the programme timings, including the breaks.
• Be responsible for your own learning, behaviour and participation.
• Turn off mobile phones.
Behaviour with reference to the Facilitator:
• Raise a hand to speak.
• Ask questions for clarity.
• It is okay to not answer a question, but attempt to respond to questions asked.
Behaviour with reference to Other Group Members:

• One person speaks at a time.
• Do not talk among yourselves.
• Listen to others sensitively.
• Do not dominate the discussion.
• Support issues/concerns of others.
• Criticise the opinion, not the person.
• Do not make fun of others.
• Point out if someone is getting distracted.
• Give positive feedback to others.
• Motivate others as learners.
• Invite the quiet ones to talk.
• Care about success of others.
• Use strength of others as learners.
• Maintain confidentiality of personal sharing.
• Be creative in response to problems.
• Help the group reach a decision.
• Agree or disagree with ideas, not the person concerned.
• Respect yourself and others.
• Speak for yourself and not others.
Icebreakers: Icebreakers are energisers that are used in the beginning of a pro-
gramme or a session in order to:
• Allow the participants to introduce themselves to each other in a playful manner,
• Orient the members to the norms and processes of the programme that helps
overcome the initial anxiety related to the programme,
• Lead into the topic matter, in a relaxed manner and bring the major issue to the
fore of the group consciousness and
• Do on the spot assessment of the relevant awareness, attitudes and skills of the
participants.
Formation of Committees: The following committees may be formed among the
participants, for their active participation in the planning and conducting of the
sessions:
• Committee for Monitoring of Ground Rules: monitors the implementation of
ground rules and the group process.
• Venue Committee: maintains the seating arrangement every day and switches
off the lights and fans after the session is over.
• Maintenance of the Black/Whiteboard: keeps the black/whiteboard clean and
assists the resource person with writing on it.
• Creative Use of the Flannel Boards: coordinates use of the flannel boards for
display by the facilitator and the participants.
• Use of the Audio-Visual Equipment: assists the facilitator with use of the
audio-visual equipment.
• Timekeeper: maintains the time factor with reference to the starting and ending
times and breaks.
• Coordination of Preparation of Daily Summaries: allocates the task of prepa-
ration of daily summaries and their presentations, beginning of the next day.
Planning a Module Session
Depending on the theme and the learner objectives, the content of a participatory
group workshop may be planned as module sessions. A module minimally needs
half a day with a break in between. Each module session may be planned to include
the following:
• Introduction to the Module
• Module Introductory Activity
• Minimally one Activity per Unit
• Concluding Activity
• Plan for Posters for Display
Introduction to the Module: Introduce the module title and link to the previous
modules.
• To introduce the theme of the module, carry out a round of words associated
with the module theme to assess the understanding of the group and to bring
them all on the same page. By this method, the group also formulates a concept
or a theory that can be very enriching.
• Facilitate the introductory activity to introduce the overall concepts and theories
and the module units.
Unit Activities: Activities may be planned as follows:
• Introduce the unit title and link it to the other units.
• Select an activity per unit for four units, two before the tea/coffee break and two
after the break.
• Adapt the activities from the Sourcebooks according to the target group.
• Select varying methods of activities.
• Plan the timings for each activity, all to fit into the half-day session.
Plan for each activity is given in the Sourcebook as follows: These may be
adapted according to the target group:
• Learning Outcome
• Procedure: Methods and Tools
• Questions for Discussion
• Time Estimate
Module Concluding Activity: The purpose of the module concluding activity is for
the participants to ascertain whether they have achieved the learner objectives of the
module. Use the following procedure to conduct the concluding activity:
1. Show the PowerPoints/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a time
and ask the participants whether they think they have achieved the objective.
2. The participants may be asked to share/write their responses in their diary with
reference to the following questions:
• What was a new learning for you in this session?
• What did you like the best in this session and why?
• Which activity was most effective?
• What was not clear/confusing?
• How can you apply what you have learnt?
Terre des Hommes (2008) suggests the following additional devices to use when
asking for evaluation at the end of a session:
• Smiley faces, happy, sad, bored. This is quick and painless, and can be used in
conjunction with other methods.
• Big sheet of paper on the wall on which the participants write their opinions.
Columns have headings such as ‘I will take home with me…’ ‘I will use…’ ‘I
will leave behind…’. The facilitator should be out of the room if this method
is used. The disadvantage can be that group members may influence each
other.
Planning the Closing Session
Invitees: For the closing session, organisational heads, parents, teachers, funders
and other community members may be invited to get an overview of what took
place at the workshop.
Overall Plan: The closing session should be planned to include the following:
• Summarising
• Oral Workshop Review
• Written Workshop Review
• Self-Assessment
• Future Planning
• Certificate-giving
Self-Assessment: The overall self-assessment of what they learnt can be carried out
with the help of a questionnaire similar to the baseline assessment to see the impact
of the programme.
Workshop Review: The workshop review questionnaire may include review of the
following aspects of the programme:
• Review of the Learner Objectives
• Review of the Overall Theme and Modules
• Review of the Methodology

• Review of the Programme Schedule
• Review of the Activities, Methods and Tools
• Review of the Facilitators
• Review of Implementation of the Ground Rules, the Group Process and
Participation
• Organisational Arrangements
• Overall Review
• Suggestions for Future Programmes
The written review can be kept anonymous and followed or preceded by an oral
discussion on the same aspects.
Additional Tasks: Terre des Hommes (2008) suggests the following additional
tasks in the closing session:
• Handouts can be given at the end of the training.
• Personal action plans can be created and shared with the rest of the group.
• Participants can share contact details, if from different organisations, to create a
network or support group to help implement new approaches covered in the
training.
Methods for Activities of Participatory Group Workshops
A combination of the following methods may be planned to meet different

units/objectives of a participatory group programme and vary pace and rhythm:
lecturette, pairing and sharing, small and large group activities, role-plays and
simulations, discussions, rounds and brainstorming, and self-reflection and
expression. Resource persons can also be invited when needed. Selection of the
methods will depend on the type of topics:
• An assessment of the initial understanding of or initiation into a topic may be
carried out by brainstorming or rounds.
• Knowledge-focused topics may be learnt through lecturettes/presentations,
self-study and small group discussions.
• Attitude-focused topics may be learnt through reflective self-assessment, and
pairing and sharing.
• Skill-based topics may be learnt through experiential methods such as role-plays
and simulations.
• Field-based topics may be learnt through discussion of video films and case
studies, field observations and inviting practitioners.
• All the methods need to be followed by self-reflection and discussion in small
and large groups.
Lecturettes
The facilitator may provide small lectures or lecturettes to introduce the workshop
or the module theme or provide information. This can be done with the help of a
slide show. A lecturette should not take more than 15 min.
Self-Reflection and Expression
The purpose of using self-reflection is to help participants ponder and analyse new
information and develop their ideas about a topic (Equitas—International Centre for
Human Rights Education, 2007). Self-reflection and expression may be facilitated
in the following ways:
• Sentence completion, statement ranking and quizzes stimulate thinking and
expression.
• Diary keeping is an important method for participatory group workshops as it
allows the group members to reflect and talk to themselves, at the beginning,
during or at the end.
Creative Work
Drawing can be used in the sessions to develop observation and cooperation skills,
imagination, feelings of empathy for people in the pictures, or to get to know the
other members of the group. Drawing is useful especially if the work of the group
can be exhibited to communicate to others, such as with posters (Plan, 2010).
Making posters individually or in small groups is useful to summarise an issue in a
pictorial form to express one’s thoughts, feelings and suggestions about an issue
and convey them to others. Composing or identifying relevant songs, poetries, or
stories and sharing are other creative work that the children/adults can undertake.
Pairing and Sharing
Dividing the children into pairs or groups gives children more opportunities for
participating and cooperating. It is especially helpful in providing an opportunity to
talk for children who may be shy and not want to speak out in front of a large
group. Pairs and groups can be useful to generate a lot of ideas very quickly or to
help the group to think about an issue in more depth or in terms of their own
experiences (Plan, 2010).
Small Group Discussion
Small groups are very useful for several activities, such as discussion of case
studies, situations or newspaper/magazine cuttings, creative work and preparing
role-plays, for presentation to the large group. In small groups, participants learn
from being part of a developing team, which carries out an activity during the
programme. It is particularly useful when the subject of the programme relates

closely to interpersonal skills or teamwork. The simplest way to form groups is to
number the participants serially, according to the number of the small groups to be
formed. Small groups may be formed afresh for every task so that there are no
permanent small groups (Staley, 1982). The ideal small group size for children to
work together and achieve a sense of cohesion, while also allowing a diversity of
viewpoints, seems to be four to six (adapted from Plan, 2010). The teamwork
approach is essential for small group work activities.
Large Group Activities
In large group activities such as brainstorming, rounds, games and exercises, all the
participants can participate. Other large group activities such as role-plays and
simulations involve all the members at the level of thinking but only some may
participate verbally or behaviourally.
Rounds and Brainstorming
Brainstorming is a procedure in which group members are asked to produce as many,

and as uninhibited, ideas as they possibly can on a single problem or issue, and to
withhold criticism in order to optimise creativity. The engaging of free association of
ideas is supposed to open new avenues of thought. Make sure that all members, no
matter how shy and reluctant to contribute, get their ideas heard and recorded. After
the period of brainstorming, all the ideas are categorised, and the group critically
evaluates them for possible use or application (Johnson & Johnson, 2009, p. 360).
Brainstorming encourages and requires a high degree of participation, and it stim-
ulates those involved to maximum creativity. During a brainstorming session, only
ideas are recorded; no explanations are required and no interventions are judged or
rejected at this stage. In a subsequent stage, responses are categorised and analysed;
ideas are then combined, adapted or rejected (Equitas —International Centre for
Human Rights Education, 2007). If the question is broad and the group is very vocal,
brainstorming can take away a chunk of time. The question should be very specific,
and the time taken by the participants should be managed meaningfully.
Round is preferable to brainstorming as a method by which every participant has
an opportunity to say something quickly, in turns, in answer to a question or to
report an opinion or feeling. Rounds are useful quick monitoring exercise to give a
sense of individual and group learning. It is particularly useful if you have uneven
participation in the group (Williams et al., 1994).
Role-Plays and Simulations
Johnson and Johnson (2009) note that role-playing is a vital training tool for
mastering new skills as it can stimulate real-life situations, making it possible to try
new ways of handling situations without suffering any serious consequences if the
methods fail. It involves setting up an imaginary setting in which individuals are
asked to perform certain roles and act out a situation. You do not have to be a good
actor to participate in a role-playing exercise (However, many may discover their
hidden acting talent when they carry out role-plays). The outcome of the
role-paying is not determined in advance. Your experience in participating in
role-paying may lead you to change your attitudes and future behaviours.
Role-plays are used to help change people’s attitudes, enable people to see the
consequences of their actions on others, provide an opportunity for learners to see
how others might feel/behave in a given situation, provide a safe environment in
which participants can explore problems they feel uncomfortable about discussing
in real life (Equitas—International Centre for Human Rights Education, 2007).
A role-play aims to bring to life circumstances or events that can be both familiar
and unfamiliar to children. Role-plays can improve understanding of a situation and
encourage empathy towards those who are in it. Be careful about using role-play—
although it is enjoyable, it can seem very ‘real’. Children can become upset and
need support. Children should NEVER be asked to role-play situations of sexual
abuse (Plan 2010).
Inviting Resource Persons
Resource people are trained or are experts in the particular field under discussion
(e.g. judges, lawyers, community leaders and human rights commissioners). The
use of resource people provides a realistic and relevant experience for participants.
Before their presentation, resource people should be briefed on what to do, and
participants on what to ask or to observe (Equitas—International Centre for Human
Rights Education, 2007).
Tools for Activities of Participatory Group Workshops
Participatory Tools: Use of creative participatory tools by facilitators has

enhanced participatory processes with children and young people, enabling them to
express themselves in creative and memorable ways. Participatory tools are useful
in working with children of different ages and abilities. Younger children in par-
ticular have been found to communicate more through participatory tools such as
puppets, role-play, drama, theatre for development, visual PRA methods (e.g.
mapping, time line and Venn diagram), stories, visual picture cards and pho-
tographs, movement ratings, mime, songs, dance, pictures, clay modelling, pho-
tographs and video. Participatory tools emphasise the power of visual impressions,
and active representation of ideas. They do not depend on literacy skills.
Furthermore, using such tools transform the power relations between adults and
children. Children and young people can set the agenda and describe their own
reality, rather than trying to give ‘correct’ or ‘best’ answers. Children have
expressed considerable interest in using participatory tools and drama to explore,
analyse, plan and advocate on their issues. These tools can act as catalyst creating
space for girls and boys to express their own views in an atmosphere of openness,
honesty and trust (Save the Children, 2006). Relevant local stories/folk
tales/songs/popular movies/television serials/games are valuable aids that can be
used to discuss the issues on the agenda.
Case Studies: Case study is a technique designed to give a group training in solving
problems and making decisions. A case study is a written description of a hypo-
thetical (or real) situation that is used for analysis and discussion. Case studies
should be based on credible and realistic scenarios which are not too complex and
which focus on two or three main issues. Case studies are useful when discussing
common problems in a typical situation. They also provide a safe opportunity to
develop problem-solving skills, and to promote group discussion and group
problem-solving skills. The scenario for a case study can be presented to partici-
pants for consideration, in its entirety, or ‘fed’ to them sequentially as a developing
situation to which they have to respond (Equitas—International Centre for Human
Rights Education, 2007).
Games and Exercises: Games and exercises can break up the mood after a par-
ticularly intense working period. These can be used to revive the group when
necessary (Terre des Hommes, 2008). A game or an exercise is normally simple and
brief, requires all the participants to participate, is relaxing and enjoyable, inex-
pensive, predictable and adaptable to a variety of situations. The well-known games
such as dumb charade, passing the parcel and Chinese Whisper can be adapted for
the theme. Similarly, well-known television game shows can also be adapted to the
theme. Sentence completion, statement ranking and quizzes are other forms of
exercises. These need to be followed by discussion for the group to see the con-
nection with the theme. The common games are energisers.
Energisers: Energisers are a useful way to, as their name suggests, warm up and
bring energy to the training. They can be used when participants are getting tired
or distracted. Energisers are supposed to be quick and fun—try to avoid spending
all the session time available on an energiser. Remember that energisers are
supposed to be light-hearted. Care is needed to ensure that they are not a source of
embarrassment or making fun of someone in a way that might be hurtful (Plan,
2010).
Audio-Visual Aids: The audio-visual aids useful for participatory group workshops
are verbal and visual symbols on blackboards, flip charts, charts, posters, flash cards
and handouts; newspaper/magazine cuttings; radios and tape recording; PowerPoint
presentations; and video films, selected according to the learner objectives of the
activities. Use of these tools should always be followed by discussion.
Estimation of Time
Delucia-Waack (2006, p. 14) notes that with children and adolescents, the PEG
activities need to be of duration appropriate to their attention span. They also need
more structure and focus and directive facilitation compared to adults. The
approximate time taken by each type of activity is given in the Summary Chart 1.5.
It is important to conclude within the time given, to prevent overload and fatigue for
the facilitator and the participants.
Planning Activities for Children
Save the Children (2014) recommends that the facilitators:

• Be creative, and encourage the use of different methods to support children to
communicate their views.
• Use drawings, puppets, stories, photographs or games to seek children’s views
and experiences regarding the scope, quality or outcomes of participation.
• Use open questions to seek and understand younger children’s perspectives. For
example, ask children about what they have drawn, and about what it means to
them.
• Use plenty of games and energisers.
• Use pictures and images to help communicate ideas and to help children share
their views.
• Be open and flexible to change.
Organisational Plan
The organisational plan may include planning of the venue, seating arrangement,
equipment and stationery, use of flannel board, and budget.
Venue: The venue should be well-ventilated and without any disturbance or dis-
traction. Save the Children (2014) recommends that workshops with children
should be organised in child-friendly venues that are safe and accessible to children.
Seating Arrangement: There are different forms of seating for the participants that
you can use as required. The most effective way of using participatory approaches
mixed with practical activity is the circle. Some points to consider when working in
a circle:
• A circle means that everyone is equal—there is no hierarchical structure or
difference between the participants.
• All participants see each other; nobody is hidden (Terre des Hommes, 2008).
• Alternately, the seating can be arranged in a semicircular or u-shape.
There should be adequate space in the centre for role-play sessions in the centre.
A table and two chairs should be planned in the front only for the resource persons.
Chairs for visitors or observers should be arranged at the back or on the side near
the entrance. However, the presence of other adults, parents or teachers should be
avoided as it often hinders children in their participation.
Equipment and Stationery: The equipment to be arranged includes a black/
whiteboard and chalks/markers, a couple of flannel boards and pins, computer/
laptop and projector for slide show, as found necessary. The stationery necessary
includes chart papers, flip chart board and sketch pens, cello tape and scissors,
index cards and markers. The participants should be asked to bring a diary/
notebook and pen for themselves.
Use of Flannel Boards: One flannel board should be planned by the organisers to
display the programme schedule, relevant posters comprising poems, quotations,
fact sheets and news. Another flannel board may be used for participants to express
themselves in terms of satisfaction with the programme, output of the small group
activities, relevant poems and quotations.
Activities
Activity 1.3: Planning of Participatory Group Workshops
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to plan a
participatory group workshop for children/adults.
Procedure: This activity may be conducted after the participants have undergone
the sessions on life skill development. Use the following procedure to conduct this
activity:
1. Form six small groups and allocate the following target groups among them to
plan a participatory group workshop on life skill development:
(1) Children in Middle Childhood
(2) Children in Adolescence
(3) Parents of Children in Middle Childhood
(4) Parents of Children in Adolescence
(5) Teachers of Secondary Schools
(6) Teachers of Junior College
2. Ask the participants to use the following format for the plan of the workshop:
• Target Group and their Background
• Venue
• Aim and Learner Objectives
• Programme Schedule: Number of Days and Timings
• Opening Session
• Module Sessions
• Closing Session
• Plan for Posters for Display
4. The small groups may present their plan to the large group for further inputs.
Facilitating Participatory Group Workshops
Concepts and Theories
Attributes of a Good Facilitator
Good facilitators have skills to facilitate participation and maximise learning instead
of teaching. This requires that the facilitators have the following life skills:
• Self-awareness, self-esteem, assertiveness and self-responsibility;
• Proactive thinking skills with reference to flexible, creative, rational, critical and
positive thinking skills and their application to decision-making, problem-
solving and time management skills;
• Emotional intelligence with reference to emotional awareness and expression,
regulating negative emotions and enrichment of positive emotions;
• Sensitive interpersonal communication skills with reference to skills of verbal
and non-verbal communication, listening and feedback; and
• Collaborative interpersonal relationship skills with reference to interdependence
and adaptability, positive perception and positive feelings for others, and con-
flict management skills.
Facilitation Process
Starting the Facilitation: To start with:

• When working with a new group, introduce yourself at the start, and give a brief
synopsis of your background and what you have done (Terre des Hommes, 2008).
• Combine structure with freedom, so that the group can be trained with maxi-
mum flexibility and creativity, within realistic boundaries (Rees, 1998).
• Model following of the ground rules.
• Do not be dominant and want to be the centre of attention (Plan, 2010).
• Use any trainer’s manual flexibly and adapt it to fit local circumstances and the
needs of the particular group.
Facilitation of Participation: A good facilitator:

• Creates a warm and inviting atmosphere where everyone feels welcomed.
• Is sensitive and helps all children feel safe, respected and valued.
• Does not discriminate, even if he/she finds some participants more likeable than
others.
• Encourages and actively facilitates participation on the part of everyone by
bringing in quiet children when appropriate and asks loud and dominant par-
ticipants to keep quieter when necessary.
• Remembers that sometimes a child does not want to participate initially but later
becomes active and engaged. Being patient, giving gentle encouragement and
allowing children to take their own pace normally work (Plan, 2010).
Facilitation of Learning: A good facilitator:
• Directs the participants’ attention to the objectives.
• Keeps a sense of the whole workshop in his or her head and is able to guide
participants through it, making links as appropriate.
• Encourages learners to relate information to their own experiences and pre-
knowledge to promote understanding.
• Is able to motivate and actively challenge participants to think.
• Poses questions and problems to facilitate learning.
• Guards against spoon-feeding.
• Keeps the factual load that has to be memorised to a minimum.
• Notices children’s learning and increasing skills and gives feedback on this to
encourage confidence.
• Is ready to refer children to suitable sources of help and support—and does not
think he/she needs to know everything or be the expert (Plan, 2010).
• Links scientific knowledge to day-to-day experiences (Rees, 1998).
• Is himself/herself open to learning.
Communication Skills: Save the Children (2014) recommends that the facilitators:
• Be flexible and use the right level of language for different children.
• Model good communication so that children learn from what they see and hear.
• Give children time to understand what is being talked about and to formulate
their responses.
• Respond to the individual needs of a child and listen to them.
• Encourage an inclusive environment by praising children who say, ‘I don’t
understand’ or children who ask for help. Thank them for asking and then offer
help or an explanation.
Use of the Strengths-Based Approach: Save the Children (2014) recommends
that the facilitators:
• Focus on reinforcing each child’s strengths and abilities rather than the things
they cannot do—for example, a wheelchair user might have strong arms and
hands, a deaf child might be great at drawing.
• Recognise that every child has a contribution to make to the group or activity—
but that they will make their contributions in different ways. Encourage the
children to understand and value each other’s differences.
Use of Humour: Kadushin and Kadushin (1997) identified the following values of
humour that can be applied to intervention with children:
• Helps to establish and maintain positive relationships.
• Can be used to stimulate client’s insights.
• Reduces the negative aspects of confrontation.
• Increases egalitarian feelings among the participants.
• Helps us recognise that we all face common problems.
• Reduces feelings of frustration, anxiety, stress and defensiveness.
• Permits the acceptable release of hostility.
• Helps children to accept that which is difficult.
• Reduces inhibitions about disclosing sensitive material.
However, if the group starts laughing at everything, the facilitator should
maintain a balance between seriousness and humour.
Giving Feedback to Activities: Terre des Hommes (2008) makes the following
suggestions for giving feedback:
• Be positive! Before you make suggestions for change, state what had a positive
effect on you and what you liked.
• Refer to concrete examples when giving feedback. Be specific, this will help the
group or individual to learn.
• Do not speak impersonally, but say ‘I’. For example, ‘I found the magic cow
story a bit confusing…’ instead of ‘The use of the magic cow story was not very
helpful…’.
• Speak directly to the person that you are giving feedback to—for example,
‘Anne, when you were playing the teacher…’, instead of ‘When she was playing
the teacher I thought she…’.
• Do not judge or assess; describe your perception.
• Relate to the situation here and now, do not refer to issues from the past.
• Give support and suggestions for how the work can be changed.
• If the group is giving feedback to each other, as facilitator you should guide the
feedback and reframe it if necessary.
• Don’t be personal in your comments (positive as well as negative) and involve
the whole group when giving feedback instead of focusing on the one repre-
sentative who has volunteered to present on behalf of the group.
Monitoring the Group Process: A good facilitator:
• Continually focuses on and attends to the group.
• Focuses on the process as well as the content.
• Processes misperceptions and emotional reactions.
• Intervenes if the discussion starts to fragment (University of Wisconsin-Madison,

2008).
• Is aware of the energy levels of the children and, if they seem tired because they
have been working hard or they are getting restless and bored, stops what they
are doing and plays an energiser or takes a break.
• Is able to respond to participants’ needs and to situations as they arise.
• Is flexible and able to adapt to the needs of the participants but at the same time
keeps in mind the time and purpose of the workshop (Plan, 2010).
• Monitors the group’s understanding and involvement with the programme.
• Is able to change the plan at the last minute, depending upon the group processes
and the emerging needs.
Leading Discussion
All the activities need to be processed to understand the significant happenings in the
here-and-now interactions of the group. Processing can be done by asking questions
for self-reflection and discussion in the large group. Processing questions help the
group to reflect on the thoughts, feelings and meaning of their experience that helps
them to transfer their learning to their real lives (Delucia-Waack, 2006). The group
discussion encourages children to think about what happened during the activity and
to draw life lessons that they can then apply in other contexts. The group discussion
encourages children to fully participate by giving them the opportunity to exercise
their right to express themselves and to be heard (Equitas, 2008).
The techniques of leading a discussion comprise of asking questions, responding
to answers, probing, redirecting questions and comments, and referencing back.
Asking Questions: According to Pan (2008), asking good questions nurtures intel-
lectually curious learners, motivates them, stimulates participation, establishes focus,
directs or redirects the discussion, and checks on comprehension. She recommends:
• Ask focused and not vague questions.
• Ask one question at a time.
• Observe ‘wait time’ after posing a question to allow participants to think and
respond.
• Vary questioning techniques.
• Guard against a few participants who monopolise the answering or asking
questions.
Equitas (2008) recommends the following with children:
• Begin with a very simple question, for example, ‘Did you like the activity?’
• Ask the questions in your own words, without reading them to the children.
• Use simple words and short sentences.
• Allow the children time to answer the question. Repeat or rephrase the question
as needed.
• Ask the questions so as to move the discussion forward. Be flexible with the
questions you prepared and choose the next question based on what the children say.
• Encourage children to speak but do not force them.
• When a child finishes speaking, thank them for sharing their thoughts.
• Remember that there are no right or wrong answers and that every child is
entitled to their own opinion, as long as it is respectful of others.
According to Pan (2008), ‘run-on’ questions, ‘woolly’ questions, ‘guess-what-is-
in-my-mind’ questions, put-down questions and personal questions should be
avoided.
The ORID Questions: The ORID method developed by the Institute of Cultural
Affairs helps a group discuss almost anything and move towards a decision. It
recommends questions for processing the activity in the following order:
1. O: Objective focus on what they saw/heard (getting the facts),
2. R: Reflection on what feelings were aroused (emotions, feelings and
associations),
3. I: How one interprets it (values, meaning and purpose) and
4. D: Decision on what one wants to therefore do (future resolves) (University of
Wisconsin-Madison, 2008).
For the experiential facilitation, the questions may be adapted as follows:
• What did they do/see/hear?
• How did they feel? If they liked it, why? If there was any discomfort, why?
• What did they learn about self and others?
• Can you make any future resolves for yourself?
Responding to Answers: Terre des Hommes (2008) suggests that the facilitator
should:
• Listen to the answer, and paraphrase it.
• Validate every response either verbally or non-verbally.
• Before changing to the next question, probe if necessary, or ask if anyone has
anything to add and then summarise what has been discussed up to that point.
Probing: According to Pan (2008), probing questions requires going beyond the
first response in order to clarify, increase critical awareness, generating ideas,
refocusing, prompting and redirecting. According to Rees (1998), probing helps in
the following ways:
• Find the root of an issue or problem.
• Enlighten other group members.
• Explore a concern or idea that may otherwise be overlooked.
• Encourage group members to explore issues in greater depth and to value their
own thinking process.
• Open the group up to more honest sharing of information and concerns.
• Increase creativity and open-mindedness.
Redirecting Questions and Comments: Provide frequent opportunities for par-

ticipants to ask questions for clarification. Redirecting invites group members to
respond to questions or comments that were directed to the facilitator. The tech-
nique encourages dialogue among participants and draws attention away from you.
It encourages group members to come up with their own solutions and thoughts as
much as possible (Rees, 1998).
Referencing Back: Referencing back is the technique of referring back to some-
thing one of the group members said earlier for the purposes of enhancing the
discussion and tying group members’ ideas to one another. This encourages
members to acknowledge and build on one another’s ideas. It demonstrates that you
are listening to everyone and giving credit to people for his or her comments (Rees
1998).
Keep the Discussion Focused: It is important to focus the discussion of an activity
on its learner outcomes, preventing any diversions. During the discussion:
• Prevent repetitions.
• If a concept/application is confusing, spend a little more time on it.
• Do not neglect any misunderstanding and spend clarify on clarifying it.
• If a unit creates a lot of useful interest that takes time, you may drop a
subsequent unit.
Positively Dealing with Children’s Problem Behaviour
If some children display problem behaviour, that disrupts the workshop, following
techniques can be used. Biddulph and Biddulph (2007) recommend the following
‘Not to Dos’ with children:
• Do not use put-downs
• Do not compare
• Do not use guilt to control children
Marion (2007) recommends the following positive discipline strategies:
• Help children save face and preserve their dignity.
• Set the expectations for desired behaviour clarifying boundaries or limits.
• Encourage positive behaviours and deemphasise negative behaviours.
• Give meaningful feedback to children.
According to Miller (2007), mildly annoying behaviour, that is neither harmful
nor unfair, can be ignored in the following ways:
• Focus attention elsewhere.
• Discreetly redirect to more positive substitute behaviour.
• Assist the child in recognising the general effects of positive behaviours.
Activities
Activity 1.4: Learning and Practising Facilitation of Learning
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to
facilitate learning in participatory group workshops.

1. Make three small groups and allocate the following topics among them:
(1) Attributes of a Good Facilitator
(2) Facilitation Process
(3) Leading Discussion
(4) Positively Dealing with Children’s Problem Behaviour
2. Ask them to read the notes on the respective topic and present to the large group
with examples from the workshop.
3. Ask each participant to select an activity that they may have planned in Activity
1.3 and demonstrate its facilitation to the large group.
4. The large group may provide feedback to the demonstration.
5. Show Charts 1.6 and 1.7 to summarise techniques of leading a discussion and
the process of the ORID questions.
Time Estimate: Depends on number of participants
Concluding Activity: Achievement of the Learner Objectives
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will ascertain
whether they have achieved the learner objectives.
Procedure: Use the following procedure to conduct the concluding activity:

1. Show the PowerPoints/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a
time and ask the participants whether they think they have achieved the
objective.

Appendix: Summary Charts

Summary Chart 1.1 Teamwork skills
(Adapted from Johnson and Johnson, 2009)
Commitment to team goals & positive attitude
Positive interdependence & cooperation
Individual and group accountability
Democratic decision-making
Distributed leadership and power based on expertise
Constructive resolution of conflicts
Summary Chart 1.2 Concept of the group process

(Adapted from Johnson and Johnson, 2009, pp. 5–7)
Members join
together to achieve
a goal
Members are Members are

interacƟng, interdependent and
structured by a set influence each other
of rules and norms
Members perceive
themselves as a
group
Summary Chart 1.3 Benefits of the group process

(Adapted from Kirst-Ashman and Hull, 2009)
Mutual assistance
Connecting with others
Testing new behaviours in a safer

environment
Wisdom of many for decision-making
Greater ability for goal achievement

Summary Chart 1.4 Experiential learning

(Adapted from Terre des Hommes, 2008)
Practice Analysis Synthesis Application
Summary Chart 1.5 Type of method and estimation of time
Type of Method and its Processing Approximate Time to be Planned
• Lecturette 15 minutes
• Pairing and sharing 5 to 10 minutes
• Small group activities and presentation 30-45 minutes
to the large group
• Role-plays 30-45 minutes
• Rounds & Brainstorming 30 minutes
• Self-Reflection & Expression 10 minutes
• Diary keeping 5 to 10 minutes
Type of Tool and its Processing Approximate Time to be Planned
• Use of Case Studies 30-45 minutes

• Story Telling 15 minutes
• Games & Exercises 15 minutes
• Use of Video Films 15 minutes
Summary Chart 1.6 Techniques of leading a discussion
Asking Questions
Redirecting
Questions and Probing
Comments
Referencing Back
Summary Chart 1.7 Process of the ORID questions

(Adapted from Institute of Cultural Affairs)
R: Reflection
O: Objective D: Decision on
on what I: How one
focus on what what one
feelings were interprets it
they wants to
aroused (Values,
saw/heard therefore do
(Emotions, meaning,
(Getting the (Future
feelings, purpose)
facts) resolves)
associations)
Acknowledgements This module is adapted from the following chapter in a book by the author:
Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 4: Methodology of Psycho-Educational Group Work. In A Rights-Based
Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg: Springer, Series on
Children’s Well-Being: Indicators and Research.
References
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Part I
Foundation of Life Skills
Module 2
Self-Empowerment
Introduction to Life Skill Development
Concept of Life Skills
Life Skills as Psychosocial Skills: According to World Health Organization

(WHO, 1999), life skills are psychosocial skills such as self-awareness,
problem-solving, critical thinking, and interpersonal skills. According to the United
Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF, 2003), ‘Life skills’ are defined as psychosocial
abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effec-
tively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped
into three broad categories of skills: cognitive skills for analysing and using
information, personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
and inter-personal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Sigelman and Rider (2006) define psychosocial development as the personal and
interpersonal aspects of development such as motives, emotions, personality traits,
interpersonal skills and relationships and roles played in the family and larger
society. According to Newman and Newman (2009), the psychosocial theory
presents human development as a product of the ongoing interaction between
individual biological and psychological needs and abilities on the one hand and
societal expectations and demands on the other hand.
According to Newman and Newman (2009), life skills are psychosocial in nature
and comprise the psychological and the social dimensions as follows:
1. The psychological system includes those mental processes central to a person’s
ability to make meaning of experiences and take action: motivation, emotion,
perception, learning, memory, judgment, reasoning, problem-solving, language
skills, symbolic abilities, self-awareness and reality testing. Capacity and change

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_2
34 2 Self-Empowerment
in psychological processes are guided by genetic factors, life experiences, and

self-direction and insight.
2. The impact of the societal system on psychological development results largely
from interpersonal relationships. Culture, age-graded role expectations, histor-
ical events and technological change affect the societal system.
Life Skills Based in Positive Psychology: Life skills are derived from positive
psychology. Positive psychology uses psychological theory, research and inter-
vention techniques to understand the positive, the adaptive, the creative and the
emotionally fulfilling elements of human behaviour. The dimensions of positive
psychology are as follows:
• At the subjective level, positive subjective states or positive emotions, construc-
tive thoughts about self and future, and feelings of energy, vitality and confidence;
• At the individual level, positive individual traits such as courage, persistence,
honesty, and wisdom, aesthetic sensibility and creativity; and
• At the group or societal level, development, creation and maintenance of pos-
itive institutions such as the civic virtues, the creation of healthy families, work
environments and communities (Compton, 2005).
Areas of Life Skills
The WHO Department of Mental Health has identified the following five basic
areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making and problem-solving;
2. Creative thinking and critical thinking;
3. Communication and interpersonal skills;
4. Self-awareness and empathy; and
5. Coping with emotions and coping with stress (WHO, 1999).
In this Sourcebook, the psychological life skills are divided into the following:
(1) Self-empowerment comprising self-identity, self-esteem, self-responsibility,
integrity, self-confidence and assertiveness;
(2) Proactive thinking skills with reference to creative, rational, critical and pos-
itive thinking skills, and their application to self-awareness, decision-making,
problem-solving and time management skills; and
(3) Emotional intelligence that depends on thinking skills.
The sociological life skills based on the above thinking and emotional skills are
divided into the following:
(4) Interpersonal communication skills and
(5) Interpersonal relationship skills.
Importance of Life Skills
Life skill education aims at facilitating the development of psychosocial skills that
are required to deal with the demands and challenges of everyday life. It includes
the application of life skills in the context of specific risk situations and in situations
where children and adolescents need to be empowered to promote and protect their
rights (WHO, 1999). WHO (1999) states that ‘Life skills education is designed to
facilitate the practice and reinforcement of psychological skills in a culturally and
developmentally appropriate way; it contributes to the promotion of personal and
social development, the prevention of health and social problems, and the protec-
tion of human rights’. WHO further states that life skills contribute to basic edu-
cation, gender equality, democracy, good citizenship, child care and protection,
quality and efficiency of the education system, the promotion of lifelong learning,
quality of life and the promotion of peace. WHO considers life skills as
essential for:
• The promotion of healthy child and adolescent development;
• Primary prevention of some key causes of child and adolescent death, disease
and disability, socialisation in general; and
• Preparing young people for changing social circumstances.
The development of each life skills starts with self-awareness and ends with
further self-awareness of who we are, and how we think, feel, communicate and
behave. Self-awareness is necessary for congruence among our thinking, feeling,
speaking and behaviour. It leads to genuineness which is important for the pro-
motion of positive mental health and prevention of negativities and mental diseases.
Genuineness also means that one continues to be oneself and conveys a sense of
honesty to others and makes them feel that we are someone they can trust (Hull &
Kirst-Ashman, 2004). According to Bayne, Horton, Merry, and Noyes (1994),
self-awareness helps us to:
• Be clearer with other people;
• Have more information on which to base decisions;
• Be more ourselves; and
• Detect signs of stress earlier.
Life skills can be empowering as they comprise the components of the
empowerment process:
• Positive perceptions of personal worth, efficacy, and internal locus of control;
• Recognition, by self and others, that some of one’s perceptions about one’s self
and the surrounding world are indeed valid and therefore legitimate to voice;
• The ability to think critically about macro-level social, political and economic
systems as well as about one’s position within such systems (Torre cited by
Parsons, Jorgensen, & Hernandez, 1994).
Objectives of Life Skill Development
The Sourcebook aims at life skill development for empowerment of staff, children
and primary duty-bearers with reference to the following objectives:
1. Promotion of psychosocial development with reference to self-empowerment,
meaningful interpersonal relationships, success in career, happiness and fulfil-
ment in life; and
2. Prevention of psychosocial and mental health problems related to low
self-esteem, problems in relationships, failure in career and unhappiness in life
and that are as follows: (a) harmful to self with reference to depression, sub-
stance abuse, suicide, and vulnerability to abuse and exploitation; and
(b) harmful to self and others such as conflict, aggression and crime.
Methodology of Life Skill Development
To be effective, life skill lessons should be designed to achieve clearly stated

learning objectives for each activity. Life skill learning is facilitated by the use of
participatory learning methods and is based on a social learning process which
includes:
• Hearing an explanation of the skill in question;
• Observation of the skill (modelling);
• Practice of the skill in selected situations in a supportive learning environment;
and
• Feedback about individual performance of skills (WHO, 1999).
Life skill education should be designed to enable children and adolescents to
practise skills in progressively more demanding situations, for example by starting
with skills learning in non-threatening, low-risk everyday situations and pro-
gressively moving on to the application of skills in threatening, high-risk situa-
tions. Life skill learning cannot be facilitated on the basis of information or
discussion alone. Moreover, it is not only an active learning process; it must also
include experiential learning, i.e. practical experience and reinforcement of the
skills for each student in a supportive learning environment. Practice of skills is
facilitated by role-playing in typical scenarios, with a focus on the application of
skills and the effect that they have on the outcome of a hypothetical situation.
Other important methods used to facilitate life skill learning include group work,
discussion, debate, story-telling, peer-supported learning and practical community
development projects. In life skill education, it is important to be humorous and
making it relevant (WHO, 1999). The chapter on the Methodology of
Empowerment Workshops discusses the details of the methodology useful for life
skill education.
Activities
Introductory Activity 2.1: Introduction to Life Skills

Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will understand the
concept and importance of life skills.
1. Ask the participants the following questions and write on a flip chart.
(a) What do you mean by life skills?
(b) What skills are life skills?
(c) Why are life skills important?
2. Show Summary Chart 2.1 to discuss it with reference to their responses to the
questions.
Introduction to Self-Empowerment
Kieffer (1981, cited by Parsons, Jorgensen, & Hernandez, 1994) emphasises a per-
sonal attitude or sense of self as an important component of empowerment. Batliwala
(1993) emphasises that empowerment is the process of gaining control over self,
ideology and resources which determine power. Thus, self can be empowered
through the development of self-identity, self-esteem, self-responsibility, integrity
and self-confidence which are resources for gaining control and assertiveness over
one’s thinking, emotions, communication and relationships.
Activities
Activity 2.2: Concept and Resources for Self-Empowerment
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the
meaning of self-empowerment and identify the resources for self-empowerment.

1. Ask the following questions to the participants:
(a) What is self?
(b) What is empowerment?
(c) Why should we empower ourselves?

(d) How can we empower ourselves?
2. Show Summary Chart 2.2 and discuss the concept of self-empowerment and the
theory of its resources.
(a) Self-identity
(b) Self-esteem
(c) Self-responsibility
(d) Integrity
(e) Self-confidence and
(f) Assertiveness
Self-Identity
Concepts of Self-Identity
Erikson (1963, cited in Lesser & Pope, 2007) described identity as providing the
ability to experience one’s self as something that has continuity and sameness and to
act accordingly. Self-identity provides a boundary that facilitates separation of
understanding of selffrom others. A highly closed self-identity can lead to indifference
to others, and a very open self-identity can lead to enmeshment with others. A healthy
self-identity has a sense of separation from others and is yet connected with others.
Sue and Sue (2003, pp. 10–13, cited in Lesser & Pope, 2007, p. 78) offer a
tripartite model which provides an integrated conceptual framework for the indi-
vidual, group and universal dimensions of identity:
1. On the universal level are the shared experiences of humanity, such as birth,
death and language.
2. The group-level identity.
3. The individual-level identity.
Child Right to Identity
According to Article 8 of the UNCRC:

1. States Parties undertake to respect the right of the child to preserve his or her
identity, including nationality, name and family relations as recognised by law
without unlawful interference.
2. Where a child is illegally deprived of some or all of the elements of his or her
identity, States Parties shall provide appropriate assistance and protection, with a
view to re-establishing speedily his or her identity.
Group-Level Self-Identity
The group-level self-identity includes similarities individuals share by age, gender,

education, occupation, disability, talents, sexual orientation and marital status; and
race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, geographical location and culture domains of
their family identity over which one has no control (Desai, 2010, p. 103).
According to Erikson, identity development becomes the main task in puberty and
adolescence. He felt that the danger of this developmental stage is identity diffusion
or confusion as opposed to the development of a secure identity (Lesser & Pope,
2007). Adolescents struggle to develop a sexual/gender identity, age/generation
identity, ethnic identity, peer identity, class identity and vocational identity.
Ethnic identity is a group identity. It is not only knowing that one is a member of
a certain ethnic group but recognising that some aspects of one’s thoughts, feelings
and actions are influenced by one’s ethnic identity. Ethnic identity varies across
ethnic groups and among individuals within groups with reference to how signif-
icant is one’s ethnic group as a reference group and how far its values, outlook and
goals are taken into account as one makes important life choices (Newman &
Newman, 2009).
Group identity provides values and connectiveness. According to Bean (1992),
people with high sense of connectiveness:
• Feel they are a part of something and feel good about it;
• Feel related in important ways to specific people, places or things that are
thought well by others;
• Feel connected to a past or heritage; and
• Feel something important belongs to them and that they are important to others.
People from collectivist cultures value their group-level identity more than their
individual-level identity.
Whether in collectivistic or individualistic cultures, tensions arise between the
desires for individuality represented by ‘I’ and connection represented by ‘We’.
Adolescents confront the new psychosocial conflict of group identity versus
alienation. As an adolescent prepares to engage in the larger social world, a positive
sense of group identity provides confidence that he/she is meaningfully connected
to society. On the other hand, alienation develops from dilemmas associated with
issues of common identity (Newman & Newman, 2009). Alienation refers to a
sense of social estrangement, an absence of social support or meaningful social
connection (Mau, 1992, cited in Newman & Newman, 2009). The central process
used to resolve the psychosocial crisis of group identity versus alienation is peer
pressure (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Individual-Level Self-Identity
The individual-level self-identity includes the uniqueness of each person by nature

of their genetic endowment and non-shared experiences. It refers to the distinctive
combination of personality characteristics and social style by which one defines
oneself and by which one is recognised by others (Desai, 2010, p. 103). According
to Bean (1992), people with high sense of uniqueness:
• Feel there is something special about themselves;
• Feel they know things or can do things that no one else knows or can do;
• Are able to express themselves in their own unique way;
• Feel creative and imaginative and have opportunities to safely express their
creativity;
• Feel respect for themselves; and
• Are able to enjoy feeling different or unusual.
People from individualist cultures value their individual-level identity more than
their group-level identity.
Personality types form an important aspect of individual-level self-identity.
According to Jung (cited in Hergenhahn & Olson, 2003), the psyche could take two
general orientations or attitudes: introversion, which is inward towards the sub-
jective world, and extroversion, which is outward, towards the external environ-
ment. He then identified four functions of thought pertaining to how a person
perceives the world and deals with information and experience: sensing, thinking,
feeling and intuiting. By combining the two attitudes and four functions, Jung
described eight personality types: thinking extrovert, feeling extrovert, sensing
extrovert, intuiting extrovert, thinking introvert, feeling introvert, sensing introvert
and intuiting introvert. See Summary Chart 2.3.
Activities
Activity 2.3: I Am…
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will develop
awareness about the linkage of their names with their identity.

1. Ask the participants to write in their diary an answer to the question ‘Who are
you?’
2. Let each one share their answers and then discuss what all we include when we
introduce ourselves.
3. Think of the meaning of their first name. Express this meaning with the large
group through a drawing or acting. Share the following about their first name:
• Who gave them this name and why?

• Does the name indicate the race/religion/region of the person?
• Do they have a pet/nick name, given by whom and why?
• Were there any humorous events linked to their name?
• If they could change their name, what would it be?
4. Ask them what they mean by identity.
5. Discuss child right to identity with reference to nationality, name and family
relations.
Questions for Discussion: Use the following questions to discuss this activity:
• What do you mean by identity?
• Does your first name give you an individual-level identity?
• What is the importance of a birth certificate as a legal document?
Follow Up: The follow-up activities useful with children are as follows:
• Give a homework assignment to every child to check their birth certificate and
identify what all information is written on it.
• Ask the children who do not have a birth certificate to see you later and follow
up to get them one.
Activity 2.4: My Group Identity
awareness on their group-level identity based on their group memberships and feel
connected.
Procedure: Ask the participants to:
1. Fill in the blanks in the Group Identity Sheet (given below).
2. Tick the boxes in the Group Identity Chart (given below) with reference to what
extent they feel identified with persons having the same characteristics as their own.
3. Share their Identity Sheet and the Group Identity Chart with their partner.
• How many groups are you a member of?
• What do you feel most connected to? Your age, sex, race/ ethnicity, national
affiliation, mother tongue and socio-economic class or to your qualifications and
occupation?
• Why is it important to feel connected?
• Do you feel a part of something and feel good about it?
• Do you feel something important belongs to you?
• What happens to people who do not feel connected?
• Is there a connection between your self-level identity and your group-level

identity?
• Can there be a conflict between your self-level identity and your group-level
identity?
• Have you ever gone through an identity crisis? How have you dealt with it?
• How can you increase your connectiveness?
Activity 2.5: My Unique Self
uniqueness of oneself.
Procedure: Select any of the following three activities on uniqueness:

1. Give a body size chart paper to each participant and form pairs of participants.
Each pair draws each other’s silhouette by making the partner sleep on the floor
or stand in front of his/her paper after placing it on the wall. Each participant
writes one’s name at the top of one’s drawing.
2. Give each participant the Exercise on My Unique Self (given below) which they
complete and pin on their drawing. Ask the participants to share their My
Unique Self with the partner and/or display in the hall.
3. Give an A4 size paper to each participant. Keep some plates of coloured water.
Each participant dips their left palm in a plate of coloured water and makes an
imprint on the paper. Each participant looks for another participant whose
imprint matches with his/her own. This activity can also be used for partici-
pants’ thumbprints.
• What did you learn about yourself?
• What is it that you can do/ like and others cannot do/ do not like?
• Do we always have to do what others do?
• Can we be different from others to whom we are very close?
• What is the importance of being unique?
Activity 2.6: Self-Exploration of My Personality Type
Learning Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the
theories of various personality types by applying them to self.

1. Circulate the Exercise on Self-exploration of Extrovert–Introvert Personality
Type (adapted from O’Connell, O’Connell, & Kuntz, 2005) (given below) to the
participants.
2. Ask the participants to read the statements and tic the boxes that are true for
them. Then add up the marked boxes and decide on their personality type.
3. Once they conclude on whether they are extroverts or introverts, ask them to
identify how they perceive the world and deal with information and experience
from the following: sensing, thinking, feeling and intuiting.
4. Show Summary Chart 2.3 and discuss the eight personality types by combining
the two attitudes and four functions. Ask them to identify their personality type.
5. Ask them to share their personality type with their partner.
• What did you learn about yourself and others?
• Do you see the futility of comparing yourself with others?
• Can you deal with persons with different personality types without a perception
of hierarchy?
Self-Esteem
Concepts of Self-Esteem
Self-identity is what we think of ourselves, and self-esteem is how we feel about

ourselves (Ford, 2006). Self-esteem is a combination of a feeling of personal
competence and a feeling of self-worth, a sum of self-confidence and self-respect
(Branden, 1988, p. 6). Self-esteem is based on a self-identity and comprises of
self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love.
Low Self-Esteem
Humphreys (2002) note that people who face a threat to their expression of their
self-worth have a low self-esteem which leads to either passiveness or aggres-
siveness. Low self-esteem, negative self-image and a poor self-concept hinder the
ability to build relationships, to feel unthreatened, to feel successful, to experience
kinship with the world, to express their assertiveness, to deal with fear and other
strong emotions and to share their own love with others (Berne & Savary, 1990).
Low self-esteem can be harmful to self and lead to depression, substance abuse,
suicide, and vulnerability to abuse and exploitation. It can also be harmful to others
and lead to conflict, aggression and crime.
High Self-Esteem
People with high self-esteem are very close to the full expression of their unique
presence and self-worth by feeling of being loveable and capable. According to
Berne and Savary (1990), high self-esteem is a capacity to see oneself as valuable
and competent, loving and lovable, having certain unique talents and a worthwhile
personality to share in relationship with others. People with high self-esteem have a
realistic awareness of one’ self and of one’s rights. They accept their limitations and
are not ashamed of them. Because people with healthy self-esteem are usually
self-confident, they are able to build healthy relationships, see themselves as suc-
cessful and act towards others in non-threatening ways.
Humphreys (2002) suggests the following indicators of high self-esteem:
• Loving and caring for oneself.
• Owning and taking responsibility for one’s thoughts, feelings, communication
and behaviour.
• Being honest and open about oneself.
• Owning mistakes and failures, seeing them as opportunities for further learning
and realising that these do not take away one’s capacities.
Self-Acceptance
According to Branden (1995), in self-acceptance, people choose to value and

respect themselves as they are. They are willing to experience and accept their
thoughts, their feelings and their behaviour as an expression of their true self. Even
when they do something wrong, they have compassion for themselves. They
become their own best friend. Self-acceptance helps one be honest and open about
oneself and facilitates acceptance of limitations of others.
Self-Worth
Humphreys (2002, p. 2) noted that self-worth is a sense of being worthy, worthy

of giving and receiving love, unique, individual, possessing vast potential and
giftedness. Each person needs to identify one’s strengths, actual and potential and
find oneself worthy. Views of the self as being loved, valued, admired and suc-
cessful contribute to a sense of worth. Views of the self as being ignored, rejected,
scorned and inadequate contribute to a sense of worthlessness (Newman &
Newman, 2009).
By the narrow definition of intelligence, that is the conceptual ability based on

abstract thought and effective problem-solving, many of us may be concluded as
not intelligent. However, Gardener (1993, cited in Sigelman & Rider, 2006) posits
that there are at least eight distinct intellectual abilities of equal value and not rank
ordered in terms of importance. By this theory of multiple intelligences, every one
of us has some type of intelligence. Sigelman and Rider (2006) list them as
follows:
1. Linguistic intelligence: language skills such as those of poets.
2. Logical-mathematical intelligence: the abstract thinking and problem-solving
such as those of scientists.
3. Musical intelligence: acute sensitivity to sound patterns such as those of musicians.
4. Spatial intelligence: spatial reasoning, judgment and ability to visualise
objects from different angles and space such as those of navigators and
engineers.
5. Bodily kinaesthetic intelligence: the skilful use of the body to perform such as
those of dancers, athletes and surgeons.
6. Interpersonal intelligence: social skills, sensitivity to other people’s motivations
and moods.
7. Intrapersonal intelligence: understanding of one’s own feelings and inner life.
8. Naturalist intelligence: expertise in the natural world of plants and animals.
Self-Love
Where there is self-acceptance and a sense of self-worth, there are positive feelings
about self or self-love. According to Fromm (1956), it is a widespread belief that it
is sinful to love oneself because self-love is selfishness. However, the ability to love
oneself is necessary to be able to love others. Instead of leading to arrogance or
conceit, self-love makes us more humble. When we have high self-esteem, we have
less criticism and jealousy of others.
Elkins (1979) suggested the following ways to accept and love oneself:
• Celebrate yourself.
• Rejoice in yourself, with yourself.
• Be happy that you are you!
• You have been given a great gift. It is yourself! It is a privilege to be you. Only
you are you. No one else can be you.
• Thank the world that you are here to be you in it.
• Thank God that you are made as you are. Love all of you, fully, completely, and
deliciously.
• Smile and say to you, I’m glad, I’m me!
Activities
Activity 2.7: Story of Acceptance of Myself
awareness on importance of self-acceptance that lead to self-esteem.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by self-acceptance.
2. Then share the story of Lily the Leopard or ask the participants to role-play it:
Lily, the leopard thought there was something wrong with her as she had pink spots
on her body and not black like the other leopards. All the other leopards made fun of
her. She did her best to get rid of these spots by scrubbing and washing. As nothing
worked, she spent most of her time alone. One day, strolling in the jungle, she met a
big leopard with green spots! His eyes were full of kindness so Lily shared her
problem with him. He told her that her pink spots make her special, for there is no one
in the world like her. He asked her to make a list of all the things she likes about
herself. Lily started making the list and started feeling better. She realised that it is
okay to be different; in fact, she is unique! When she walked back with that self-
respect, she looked beautiful. Her friends also started respecting her (Mehtani, 2013).
Questions for Discussion: Use the following questions to discuss this story:
• What do you do with your limitations that you cannot change?
• Why do we still try to change them?
• Why don’t we accept our limitations that we cannot change?
• Can we be happy with the way god has made us?
• Can we find uniqueness in our limitations?
• If we cannot like ourselves, will others like us?
• How do we define beauty? Can we define beauty as being a nice person or a
happy person?
• How acceptance of ourselves with our limitations helps us accept the limitations
of others?
Activity 2.8: Story on Self-Worth
importance of self-worth.
Procedure: Share the story of Zero: Of all the numbers Zero used to feel very bad
that it is worthless. So it would stay away from others and hide himself. The new
maths teacher saw this and called him to stand next to each of the other students,
namely One to Nine, one at a time. The values of each of them increased because of
Zero! The lesson of the story is that we all have a value when we play our role with
reference to others (Misra & Pasricha, 2013).
1. What did you think of the story?
2. What is self-worth?
3. Why is it important to find ourselves worthy?
4. How can we identify our strengths, actual and potential, and value them?
Activity 2.9: Self-Assessment of Type of Intelligence
Learning Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the
theory of multiple intelligences by applying it to self.

1. Ask the participants the following questions:
(a) What they mean by intelligence?
(b) Can there by multiple types of intelligences?
2. Ask them to reflect on the multiple aspects of their intelligence in the Exercise
on Self-assessment of Type of Intelligence given at the end of the module.
• What type of intelligence do you have?

• Is there any child/ parent who are not intelligent according to the concept of
multiple intelligences?
Activity 2.10: Activities on Self-Esteem
importance of self-esteem and skills to promote it.

(1) Ask the participants what they mean by self-esteem and write on the board.
(2) Then select any of the following activities on self-esteem:
(1) Video Discussion: Show a video film: Magic for Young Children and
Parents—Lovable ME! Builds Self-esteem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=tTQ8CxrANw4
(2) I am Good at…: Ask each participant to complete the following sentences
and share with the large group:
I am good at:
(1) ………………………………………………
(2) ………………………………………………..
Invite other participants to add to and celebrate everyone’s strengths.
Give yourself a tight hug, conveying that he/she loves himself/ herself.
Then ask every participant to give oneself a tight hug conveying the same.
(3) Introduction of the Chief Guest: Place an empty chair in front of the
participants.
1. Each participant comes forth and introduces themselves as though they are
sitting on the empty chair as the chief guest for a programme, in the third
person.
2. All the participants applaud after the introduction like they would for a
chief guest.
(4) My Self-Esteem Tree: 1. Ask each participant to make their personal
self-esteem tree as follows:
(a) List strengths as roots.
(b) List actions as branches.
(c) List goals as fruits for children and adolescents.
(d) List achievements as fruits for adults.
(e) On the trunk, write whom this self-esteem tree belongs to.
2. Ask each participant to share their self-esteem tree with the large group.
3. Celebrate everyone’s self-esteem, after their sharing.
1. What did you do in this activity?
2. How did you feel doing it?
3. Why is it difficult to talk about what we are good at?
4. What is self-esteem?
5. What happens when one focuses on one’s limitations?
6. What happens when one focuses on developing one’s strengths?
7. How does self-esteem help us respect the self-esteem of others?
8. How is self-esteem different from selfishness or arrogance?
9. Can you be your best friend?
10. Give yourself a tight hug like you would give to a friend and ask the partici-
pants to give themselves a nice tight hug. Then ask how they felt doing so.
Activity 2.11: Checklist for Indicators of Lack of Self-Love
disadvantages of low self-esteem.

1. Ask the participants what are the implications of low self-esteem.
2. Give the Checklist for Indicators of Lack of Self-love (prepared from the
behaviour traits identified by Matthews, 1988) as evidence of poor self-image)
to each participant (given below). Ask them to reflect and respond to:
• When do we have these negative traits?
• If we like ourselves, will we have these negative traits?
• How is self-esteem different from selfishness or arrogance?
Self-Responsibility
Self-Defence
When the ego experiences internal danger, it defends itself with a variety of defence
mechanisms (Robbins, Chatterjee, & Canda, 2006). We tend to defend our self/ego/
comfort level/negative emotions/unjustifiable behaviour with reference to others
through mental manoeuvres that work through self-deception (adapted from Weiten
& Lloyd 2006, cited in Ford, 2006). Following are the common defence mechanisms:
• Rationalisation: Rationalisation involves creating false but plausible excuses to
justify unacceptable behaviour.
• Projection: Projection involves attributing one’s own thoughts, feelings and
motives to another.
• Displacement: Displacement involves diverting emotional feeling from their
original source to a substitute target.
• Regression: Regression involves a reversion to childhood/ immature patterns of
behaviour (Ford 2006).
• Passive Protectivity: Persons with passive personalities tend to passively pro-
tect their ego by compliance, escapism, fantasy, silence, crying, regression,
repression and suppression.
• Aggressive Protectivity: Persons with aggressive personalities tend to aggres-
sively protect their ego by arguing, questioning, sarcasm, defiance, anger or
threatening.
• Blaming Others: Blaming others is also aggressive reactivity where we lay the
judgment for our problems upon someone else through judgmentalism, justifi-
cation and manipulation (Defense Mechanisms, n.d.).
• Distorting the Truth: Distortion is the changing of the shape of a reality to
make it more acceptable through displacement, denial or minimising (Defense
Mechanisms, n.d.).
Self-Defeating Thinking
Self-defeating thinking is a combination of negative thinking and passive reactivity.

According to Ford (2006), self-defeating behaviour is often rooted in negative
beliefs and expectations. It can take forms of self-handicapping, passive self-defeat,
high-anxiety avoidance, fear of change and learned helplessness as discussed below.
Self-Handicapping: When people fear failure or the inability to sustain success,
they create an impediment, or handicap, that makes success less likely. Then if they
do fail, they can blame it on the external impediment or handicap rather than some
internal flaw. If they succeed, they feel they have done it in spite of the obstacle.
High-Anxiety Avoidance: The amount of anxiety generated by the possibility of
failure or success greatly influences a person’s willingness to try. It may seem safer
to not make decisions rather than risk doing or saying the wrong thing.
Fear of Change: Underlying many of these styles of self-defeating behaviour may
be the fear of change itself even when the change is for the better. Many people
become so attached to their particular way of being that they even mourn the loss of
unhealthy patterns.
Learned Helplessness: Many patterns of self-defeating behaviour are the results of
past experiences that make people feel as though they have little control over
aversive situations. Attributes of learned helplessness are:
• Passivity becomes characteristic behaviour.
• Fatigue and isolation may accelerate feelings of helplessness.
• A feeling of lack of control in one situation is generalised to other situations.
Resistance to Change: Following are some beliefs that Hay (2004, p. 52) lists
which limit our ideas and make us resist change:
• It is not done.
• It is not right.
• Men/Women do not do that.
• My family never did that.
• It is too much work.
• It is too far.
• It will take too long.
We also resist change by giving our power to others:

• God does not approve.
• This is not the right environment.
• I do not have the right tools.
• My doctor does not want me to.
• I can’t get time off work.
• They have to change first.
• They do not understand.
• I do not want to hurt them (Hay, 2004, pp. 52–53).
Following are delaying tactics that we use for resisting change:
• I will do it later.
• I can’t think right now.
• I don’t have the time right now.
• It would take too much time away from my work.
• I have too many other things to do.
• I will think about it tomorrow.
• The time is not right.
• It’s too late/too soon (Hay, 2004, p. 54).
Self-Responsibility
Self-responsibility is taking responsibility for one’s thinking, feelings and behaviour

(Covey, 1997). According to Branden (1995), self-responsibility is accepting that we
are responsible for our choices, actions and for achieving our dreams. The quality of
our communications, the level of consciousness we bring to our work and relation-
ships and how we prioritise our time are also our responsibility. Thus, we are
responsible for raising our self-esteem and for our personal happiness. The experience
of self-responsibility is very empowering; it places our life back in our own hands.
Avoiding self-responsibility victimises us with regard to our lives, leaving us
helpless. We give power to everyone else except ourselves. When we are frustrated,
we look for someone to blame (Branden, 1988). Refusing to accept personal
responsibility means that we look towards others to rescue us and be overly depen-
dent on them (Dryden, 1994). When other persons contribute to our problem, it is we
who must rise to the occasion and take responsibility for our own happiness. When
we stop blaming others, we regain our sense of personal power (Carlson, 1997).
Following are the techniques used in Gestalt therapy for stimulating
self-awareness:
• Use of first person language, for example, I feel, I am and so on.
• Acceptance of responsibility for the way we are and for what we do.
• Expression of feelings here and now.
• Shedding one’s defence mechanisms.
• Unlocking one’s potential (Morgan, King, Weisz, & Schopler, 1993).
The defence mechanisms need to be replaced with taking self-responsibility:

• Angered reactivity such as ‘What do you think of yourself?’ can be reframed as
‘You are free to think the way you want to, but I do not think that way’.
• Blaming others by thoughts such as ‘He first started by being sarcastic with me,
I had to give it back to him. Let him change first then I will change’. can be
reframed as ‘Even if someone starts the fight first, I need to control my anger
and not fight with anyone’.
• Rationalising thoughts such as ‘I come late to work because I have my family
responsibilities’ can be reframed with self-responsibility as ‘I come late because
I do not plan my time well’.
Activities
Activity 2.12: Activities on Self-Responsibility
reasons for using self-defences and the skills of replacing self-defences with
self-responsibility.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by self-responsibility.
2. Select a situation where the participants tend to be protective of themselves
such as failing in exams, being late for and appointment, losing what belongs to
someone else, forgetting a friend’s birthday and so on.
3. Use any of the following activities to role-play protective thinking followed by
taking self-responsibility:
(1) Conversation: Ask for a volunteer to come centre stage to act as a friend of
the facilitator to enact the selected situation. The facilitator demonstrates the
self-defensive/ protective responses with reference to passive protectivity,
aggressive protectivity, rationalisation, displacement, regression, distorting the
truth, etc. A volunteer is then asked to replace the facilitator and display
self-responsibility with reference to the situation.
Time Estimate: 15–20 min
(2) Breaking the Barricade of Protective Thinking: Arrange a barricade of four
chairs in a circle, with labels of the four categories of protective thinking:
passive protectivity, aggressive protectivity, distorting the truth and rationali-
sation. Sit in the centre of the barricade. Volunteers approach you and ask a
discomforting question such as why you are late, or why they failed in the
exam or why they are angry and so on. Choose any of the chairs from around
to protect yourself and role-play that protective pattern. Remove the chairs and
then display the card of self-responsibility and role-play self-responsibility.
• What do we do to defend our ego?
• Why do we want to protect our ego?
• What are the consequences of protecting our ego?
• What is self-responsibility?
• How does taking self-responsibility benefit us?
Integrity
Concept of Integrity
Integrity comprises of congruity among our thinking, speaking and behaviour. It

leads to genuineness which is important for promotion of positive mental health and
prevention of negativities and mental diseases. Genuineness also means that one
continues to be oneself and conveys a sense of honesty to others and makes them feel
that we are someone they can trust (Hull & Kirst-Ashman, 2004). Honesty means
first being true to yourself and therefore true to others. It makes you trustworthy.
The Johari Window
The Johari Window model helps us to increase out integrity. In this model, there are
four categories of self: Open, blind, hidden and unknown.
The Open Self: This represents all the information about us that we and other
people know.
The Hidden Self: This comprises of our secrets that we do not want others to know.
The Blind Self: This is the part of us that others can see but we cannot. To
understand this self, we need to be willing to accept feedback and be more aware of
our impact on others.
The Unknown Self: This represents what is outside of conscious awareness,
unknown to us and to others (Ford, 2006).
The open self requires genuineness or congruence between thinking, speaking
and behaviour. Self-awareness helps us to move towards expansion of the open self
by minimising the blind and the hidden self.
Activities
Activity 2.13: Johari Window
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the skills
to enhance one’s integrity.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by integrity and write on the board.
2. Then ask them to:
(1) Fill up the Johari Window (given below) by identifying the information
about you in your open self and hidden self.
(2) You may not know but try to guess the information about you in your blind
self and the unknown self.
(3) Try to understand why you want some information about you to be hidden
from others.
(4) Try to convert information in your hidden self to your open self.
(5) Identify where you succeed where you cannot and why.
• How did you carry out this activity?
• How did you feel doing this activity?
• How does take self-responsibility held develop integrity?
• What is the importance of integrity?
• If we have integrity would others trust us more?
• If we have integrity would we have more self-confidence?
• What did you learn from this activity?
Self-Confidence
Self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, self-responsibility and integrity lead to

self-confidence that is a belief in ourselves and our capabilities. Persons with high
level of self-confidence have clear goals and enjoy working hard to reach their
goals. They are not afraid of making mistakes as with every mistake they learn
something new. Their self-confidence leads to others’ trust in them and in their
capabilities. People who lack self-confidence focus on their limitations, ignore their
strengths and feel victimised by the society. They doubt their capacity as how they
feel about themselves depends upon how others feel about them. It makes them
dependent on others. It leads to self-pity or a life full of regrets that they could have
done something differently than the way we did (Finley, 1998).
Ellis (2002) suggests the following steps for developing self-confidence:

1. Be determined that no matter what it takes or how hard it is, I am going to work
towards a goal.
2. Acquire knowledge of what not to do—stop whining about the adversities that
are encountered; and what to do—change my thinking, feelings and behaviour
to cope with adversities.
3. Act on determination and knowledge.
4. Keep steadily and persistently determining and acting to change.
Activities
Activity 2.14: Activities on Self-Confidence
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the skill to
promote self-confidence.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by self-confidence.
2. Select any of the following activities on self-confidence:
Characteristics of Self-Confident Persons: Ask the participants to think of
self-confident persons, who they may have come across in their lives. Ask
them to write the names of these persons in their diary and identify the
qualities that they think are related to these persons’ self-confidence and share
them with the large group. Compile these qualities on the board/chart for
everyone to see.
Steps for Developing Self-Confidence to Reach a Goal: Distribute maze
sheets, selected according to the age groups of the participants. The partici-
pants find out the way to reach the goal in two minutes. Discuss the process
through which they have worked on the activity. Ask them to identify one
goal from their self-esteem tree and reflect on how they will use the above
steps to reach the goal and share with their partner.
• What is self-confidence?
• What are the characteristics of self-confidence persons?
• How do self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love and self-responsibility help you
develop self-confidence?
• What happens to people who lack self-confidence?
• How will determination help you reach the goal?
• How will gaining knowledge help you reach the goal?
• How will action to be undertaken help you reach the goal?
• How will persisting in that action help you reach the goal?
Assertiveness
Persons with low self-esteem tend to be passive or aggressive and those with high
self-esteem tend to be assertive. Self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, self-
responsibility and self-confidence help us be assertive.
Assertiveness is essential for protection from abuse, exploitation, trafficking, etc.
According to Alberti and Emmons (1998), assertiveness is a positive self-affirmation,
which also values the other people in our life. It contributes both to our personal life
satisfaction and to the quality of our relationships with others in following ways.
• To act in one’s own best interests refers to the ability to make one’s own
decisions, to take initiative in starting conversations and organising activities, to
trust one’s own judgment, to set goals and work to achieve them, to ask help
from others, to participate socially.
• To stand up for ourselves includes such behaviours as saying no, setting limits
on time and energy, responding to criticism or put-downs or anger, expressing
or supporting or defending an opinion.
• To exercise personal rights relates to competency as a citizen, as a consumer, as
a member of an organisation or school or work group, as a participant in public
events to express opinions, to work for change, to respond to violations of one’s
own rights or those of others.
• To not deny the rights of others is to accomplish the above personal expressions
without unfair criticism of others, without hurtful behaviour towards others,
without name-calling, without intimidation, without manipulation, without
controlling others.
Bully-victims are examples of passiveness; they are depressed and lonely,
physically weaker, have lower social status and are less popular. They have low
self-esteem, are generally anxious and cautious and fit into the withdrawn category
of rejected children. Bullying is an example of aggressiveness. Bullies are typically
are physically stronger than their peers. They have strong needs for power and
enjoy being in control. They have been reared in a family environment charac-
terised by indifference, low involvement and lack of warmth. This context results in
little sense of personal empathy and a high degree of hostility towards others
(Newman & Newman, 2009).
Activities
Activity 2.15: Role Plays on Assertive Behaviour
to minimise passive and aggressive behaviours and learn to be assertive.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by assertiveness.
2. Identify the following situations where assertiveness is required:
(1) Making career decisions;
(2) Saying no to a friend who wants you to try taking drugs;
(3) Sharing an opinion different than that of the parents;
(4) Asking a friend’s help when you fall down and sprain an ankle;
(5) Returning to the store a merchandise that has defects;
(6) Responding to a false allegation by the teacher.
3. For the first situation, role-play passive behaviour and aggressive behaviour.
Invite one or more volunteers to role-play assertive behaviour.
4. Show Summary Chart 2.4 and discuss characteristics of passive and aggressive
behaviour and their disadvantages and discuss the characteristics of assertive
behaviour and its advantages.
5. Form small groups for other situations listed above and ask them to prepare a
role-play on assertive behaviour in that situation and present to the large group.
• Why are some people passive? What are the consequences of being passive?
• Why are some people aggressive? What are the consequences of being
aggressive?
• What is common and different between passiveness and aggressiveness?
• How can passiveness be harmful to self and lead to depression, substance abuse,
suicide, and vulnerability to abuse and exploitation?
• How can aggressiveness be harmful to self and others and lead to conflict,
aggression and crime?
• What is assertiveness and how can you be assertive?
• How do self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, self-responsibility and
self-confidence help you be assertive?
• What are the consequences of being assertive?

1. Show the power points/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a time
and ask the participants if they think they have achieved the objective.
2. The participants may be asked to share/ write their responses in their diary with
• What was not clear/ confusing?
Appendix: Summary Charts and Exercises
Summary Chart 2.1 Introduction to life skills
Life Skills as
Psychosocial
Skills
Psychological Sociological
Life Skills Life Skills
Sensive
Self- Proacve Emoonal Collaborave
Interpersonal Interpersonal
Empowerment Thinking Intelligence
Skills Communicaon Skills
Skills
Self-
Empowerment
Promoon of Prevenon of
Psychosocial Mental Health
Development Problems
Summary Chart 2.2 Resources for self-empowerment
Self-
Responsibility
Self-Esteem Integrity
Self-
Empowerment
Self Identity Self-

Confidence
Assertiveness
Summary Chart 2.3 Personality types

(Adapted from Jung cited in Hergenhahn and Olson, 2003)
Functions of Thought General Orientation

Introversion Extroversion
Rational Functions:
Thinking Thinking introvert Thinking extrovert
Feeling Feeling introvert Feeling extrovert
Irrational Functions:
Sensing Sensing introvert Sensing extrovert
Intuiting Intuiting introvert Intuiting extrovert
Summary Chart 2.4 Comparison of passive, aggressive and assertive

behaviours
(Adapted from Ford, 2006)
Passive Behaviour Aggressive Behaviour AsserƟve Behaviour

• Self-denying • Self-enhancing at others' • Self-enhancing with respect
• Self-blame expense to others
• Low self-esteem • Blames others • High self-esteem
• Allowing others to take • Low self-esteem • Taking decisions for oneself
decisions for self • Taking decisions for others • Expressing oneself in an
• Not responding • Insults, sarcasm, labels, honest and appropriate
• Violates one's own putdowns or hosƟle manner
right to be treated • Violates others' right to • Stands up for one's rights
with respect be treated with respect and rights of others
• SoŌ voice • Loud voice • Clear and modulated voice
• No expression • Frowns • Smiling
• No eye contact • Glares • Eye contact with the other
• Cringes • InƟmidaƟng person
• Relaxed
Exercise for Activity 2.4: My Group Identity
Group Identity Sheet
I am ……….year old male/female, studying/ working in
................................................
My family belongs to the …………………...............race/ ethnicity.
They originated from .............................................region and their mother

tongue is
……………………. ….. They follow the ...................................religion.
They belong to the …………………..socio-economic class.
Group Identity Chart

To a Large To Some Extent Hardly/ Not at
Extent all
Age
Sex
Education
Occupation
Race/ Ethnicity
Region/ Mother
Tongue
Religion
Socio-Economic
Class
Exercise for Activity 2.5: My Unique Self
(1) I like to..................................................................................................................
(2) I laugh when.........................................................................................................
(3) My favourite food is............................................................................................
(4) My favourite movie is.........................................................................................
(5) My favourite song is............................................................................................
(6) My favourite television show is............................................................................
(7) My favourite book is.............................................................................................
(8) My favourite character is......................................................................................
(9) My favourite subject in school is..........................................................................
(10) My favourite game is............................................................................................
(11) My favourite animal is..........................................................................................
(12) I do not like to.......................................................................................................

Exercise for Activity 2.6: Self-Exploration of My Personality Type

(Adapted from O’Connell, O’Connell, and Kuntz, 2005)
Extroverts Introverts
Volunteers opinions Does not express opinion

unless asked
Enjoy social events Enjoy prefer peaceful and

quiet atmosphere
Enjoy working in teams Enjoy working alone
Need some social contact Need some private time

each day to feel good each day to feel good
Have many friends and Have few intimate friends

casual acquaintances
Total
Exercise for Activity 2.9: Self-Assessment of Type of Intelligence
Multiple Aspects of Intelligence Self-Assessment

• Do you have linguistic intelligence?
(language skills such as those of
poets.)
• Do you have logical-mathematical

intelligence? (abstract thinking and
problem-solving such as those of
scientists.)
• Do you have musical intelligence?
(acute sensitivity to sound patterns
such as those of musicians.)
• Do you have spatial intelligence?

(spatial reasoning, judgement and
ability to visualise objects from
different angles and space such as
those of navigators and engineers.)
• Do you have bodily-kinaesthetic
intelligence? (the skilful use of the
body to perform such as those of
dancers, athletes and surgeons.)
• Do you have interpersonal
intelligence? (social skills,
sensitivity to other people’s
motivations and moods.)
• Do you have intrapersonal
intelligence? (understanding of
one’s own feelings and inner life.)
• Do you have naturalist intelligence?

(expertise in the natural world of
plants and animals.)
• Do you have any other talent not

listed above?
Exercise for Activity 2.11: Checklist for Indicators of Lack of Self-Love
No. Behaviour Trait The extent to which

present in me:
• None-0
• Some extent-1
• Large extent-2
1 Jealousy
2 Negative talk about ourselves
3 Experiencing chronic guilt
4 Failure to give compliments
5 Non-acceptance of compliments
6 Not taking our own needs into account
7 Not asking for what we want
8 Failure to give affection
9 Inability to receive and enjoy affection
10 Criticism of others
11 Comparison of ourselves with others
12 Constant poor health

Exercise for Activity 2.13: Johari Window
What Others Know What Other do not Know
What I Know Open Self Hidden Self
What I do not Know Blind Self Unknown Self
Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 5: Enrichment of Self-awareness. In A Rights-Based Preventative
Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg: Springer, Series on Children’s
Well-Being: Indicators and Research.
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Morgan, C. T., King, R. A., Weisz, J. R., & Schopler, J. (1993). Introduction to psychology. New
Delhi: Tata McGraw Hill.
Newman, B. M., & Newman, P. R. (2009). Development through life: A psychosocial approach
(10th ed.). Belmont: Brooks/Cole.
O’Connell, A., O’Connel, V., & Kuntz, L. A. (2005). Choice and change: The psychology of
personal growth and interpersonal relationships. New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Parsons, R. J., Jorgensen, J. D., & Hernandez, S. H. (1994). The integration of social work
practice. Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Company.
Robbins, S. P., Chatterjee, P., & Canda, E. R. (2006). Contemporary human behavior theory:
A critical perspective for social work (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn and Bacon.
Sigelman, C. K., & Rider, E. A. (2006). Life-span human development (5th ed.). Australia:
Thomson.
United Nations Children’s Fund. (2003). Definition of terms. Retrieved from https://www.unicef.
org/lifeskills/index_7308.html
World Health Organization. (1999). Partners in life skills education: Conclusions from a united
nations inter-agency meeting. Geneva.
Module 3
Proactive Thinking Skills
Introduction to Proactive Thinking Skills
Intelligence
Theories of Intelligence: Intelligence generally denotes conceptual ability based on

abstract thought and effective problem-solving and is measured by standardised
intelligence quotient (IQ) tests. For Piaget, human intelligence is a type of evolu-
tionary biological adaptation that enables people to interact successfully with the
environment. According to him, intellectual development in humans is largely
based on biological factors related to specific heredity of the nervous system
(Robbins, Chatterjee, & Canda, 2006).
Multiple Intelligences: Alternatively, Gardener (1993, cited in Sigelman & Rider,
2006) posits that there are at least eight distinct intellectual abilities of equal value
and not rank ordered in terms of importance. Sigelman and Rider (2006) discuss
them as follows:
1. Linguistic intelligence: language skills such as those of poets.
2. Logical–mathematical intelligence: the abstract thinking and problem-solving
such as those of scientists.
3. Musical intelligence: acute sensitivity to sound patterns such as those of
musicians.
4. Spatial intelligence: spatial reasoning, judgement and ability to visualise objects
from different angles and space such as those of navigators and engineers.
5. Bodily–kinaesthetic intelligence: the skilful use of the body to perform such as
those of dancers, athletes and surgeons.
6. Interpersonal intelligence: social skills, sensitivity to other people’s motivations
and moods.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_3
70 3 Proactive Thinking Skills
7. Intrapersonal intelligence: understanding of one’s own feelings and inner life.

8. Naturalist intelligence: expertise in the natural world of plants and animals.
Going by this theory of multiple intelligences, we all have some intelligence or
another.
Thinking
Our mind is like an iceberg: while we are more aware of our outer or conscious
mind, the part with the greater impact is the hidden part. All of our conscious
thoughts, as we grow up, contribute to the building of our subconscious mind
(Matthews, 1988). These thoughts affect our emotions, decisions, communication,
behaviour and actions. Thinking is so important in our life, Lao Tzu said:
• Watch your THOUGHTS, they become WORDS.
• Watch your words, they become ACTIONS.
• Watch your actions, they become HABITS.
• Watch your habits, they become your CHARACTER.
• Watch your character, they become your DESTINY.
Reactive Thinking
We react when others try to evaluate or control us, by defending our self/ego. When
we think in this way, we focus our efforts on weaknesses of other people (and ours),
the problems in their (and our) environment and circumstances over which we have
no control. The negative energy, generated by that focus, causes neglect in areas we
could do something about (Covey, 1997). Reactive thinking patterns comprise of
irrational, rigid, protective and negative thinking. Such thinking patterns need to be
replaced with proactive thinking skills which are possible with high self-esteem.
Proactive Thinking Skills
Proactive thinking is a product of one’s conscious choice, based on values, rather

than a product of one’s conditions that is based on feelings. Proactive people use
their freedom to choose their response to the stimulus. They focus their efforts on
things they can do something about (Covey, 1997). Proactive thinking skills include
the skills of proactive self-talk, flexible and creative thinking, rational and critical
thinking, and positive thinking skills.
Self-Affirmation
Proactive thinking requires affirming self-talk that reminds one about the realistic
factors that are in our favour (Nelson-Jones, 1999). An affirmation is a positive
thought that we repeat to ourselves. For example, ‘I can handle this situation’. Using
affirmations allows us to select quality thoughts and implant them into our sub-
conscious so that we can feel better and perform better. Our words affect how we
think and how we feel. What we think affects what we say and how we think. Hence,
our words can have a positive effect on our thinking and feeling (Matthews, 1988).
Activities
Introductory Activity 3.1: Introduction to Reactive Versus Proactive Thinking
difference between reactive and proactive thinking with reference to reasons, pro-
cess and consequences.

1. Ask the following questions to the participants:
(a) What is thinking? Why is it important?
(b) What is reactive thinking?
(c) What is proactive thinking skills?
2. Show the Summary Chart 3.1 and discuss the difference between reactive and
proactive thinking with reference to reasons, process and consequences.
(a) Flexible and creative thinking skills,
(b) Rational and critical thinking skills,
(c) Positive thinking skills,
(d) Application of proactive thinking skills to decision-making skills,
(e) Application of proactive thinking skills to problem-solving skills,
(f) Application of proactive thinking skills to time management skills.
Flexible and Creative Thinking Skills
Rigid Thinking
We often tend to make rigid rules about how to live our lives (Hay, 2004).
Examples of rigid thinking patterns are ‘should and must’ statements, inflexible
approach and ‘all or nothing’ type of thinking.
‘Should and Must’ Statements: We have precise fixed ideas of how we or others
should behave, and we overestimate how bad it is when these expectations are not
met (Lesser & Pope, 2007). Should and must thoughts such as ‘My wife should
cook like my mother’ can be reframed with ‘My wife has different talents than the
ones my mother had’.
Inflexible Approach: Very often, we get used to thinking and behaving in a

particular way and cannot be flexible about it. Moreover, when we plan or expect
something and it does not move that way, because of others, we get very upset.
Such inflexibility creates an enormous amount of inner stress and is often irritating
and insensitive to other people (Carlson, 1997). When we have an inflexible
approach, we tend to have low frustration tolerance and awfulise our problem out of
proportion. We believe that we cannot stand a situation, which we demand must not
occur (Dryden, 1994). The inflexible approach in thoughts such as ‘I have planned the
day perfectly so I will not accept any changes’ can be reframed with flexibility as ‘I
have planned the day perfectly but I am ready for changes as demanded by the
situation’.
‘All or Nothing’ Type of Thinking: We often tend to do ‘all or nothing’ type of

thinking when we think in terms of black and white, ignoring shades of grey. If we
cannot get total control/do something perfectly/have exactly what we want, we see
it as a total failure or not worth bothering. By setting all or nothing standards, we
diminish our ability to change or adapt to a situation; we also discount small steps
achieved towards a goal (Atkinson, 1992). ‘All or nothing’ type of thinking such as
‘I want a first rank or else I will leave studies’ can be reframed as ‘I will study hard
for a good result’.
Rigid thinking patterns need to be replaced with realistic, flexible and creative
thinking skills.
Flexible Thinking Skills
When we are flexible, we are more relaxed and save the energy that goes in getting
upset. Our flexibility makes the persons around us also relaxed (Carlson, 1997).
Flexibility comes with creativity.
Creative Thinking Skills
What is Creative Thinking: Creative thinking is generally considered to be

involved with the creation or generation of ideas, processes, experiences or objects.
Creativity is a way of thinking that leads to something new and different. Most of
the things that are interesting and important are the result of creativity. Each of us is
born with two contradictory sets of procedure: a conservative tendency, made up of
instincts for self-preservation, self aggrandisement and saving energy; and an
expansive tendency made up of instincts for exploring, for enjoying novelty and
risk—the curiosity that leads to creativity belongs to this set. If too few opportu-
nities for curiosity are available, if too many obstacles are placed in the way of risk
and exploration, the motivation to engage in creative behaviour is easily extin-
guished. When we are creative, we feel that we are living more fully than during
the rest of our life. Our perceptions are fresh and judgements insightful
(Csikszentmihalyi, 1996).
Characteristics of Creative Thinkers: According to Epstein (2000), it is a myth to

believe that creativity is rare and only the highly intelligent people are creative.
Everyone can learn to be more creative. Creativity in thinking includes cognitive
flexibility. Not knowing, that is, the humility to admit that we do not know, is
important for development of creativity. It helps not to react out of past habits but
deal with each situation in a creative and appropriate manner (Carlson & Bailey,
1997). According to Vishala (2013), a creative thinker:
• Has novel ideas and is very fluent in ideas.
• Uses both convergent and divergent thinking.
• Is able to create something entirely new or reshape and rearrange the already
known creation and reshape it as a modified one.
• Makes unique creation that is original.
• Is able to make the correct choice from many options.
• Is able to make decisions fast.
• Uses various possibilities to solve a problem.
• Has flexibility and is optimistic and self-confident.
• Is persistent and carries out the work without losing concentration and interest.
According to Langrehr (2001), some characteristics of creative thinkers are
risk-taking, curiosity, lack of inhibition, non-conforming attitude and fantasising/
daydreaming attitude.
Strategies for Creative Thinking: The strategies for developing creative thinking
are adapted below from Langrehr (2001):
• Combine ideas of what exists.
• Reverse thinking of what exists.
• Eliminate the unnecessary from what exists.
• Think of the alternatives to what exists.
• Elaborate or extend what exists.
Activities
Activity 3.2: Story on Accepting Reality and Adaptability
importance of accepting reality and adaptability for survival.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by flexibility or adaptability.
2. Share the following story of ‘Four Bears without Hair’ with the participants or
have them role-play it:
Once upon a time, four hairless bears, named Denial, Herd, Arrogant and
Adaptable lived together, enjoying the warm climate. When the climate started
getting cold, Denial denied that there was going to be any problem. Herd felt
that what would happen to others will happen to him. Arrogant said that he will
fight with the climate and make it change. All three of them perished in the cold
wave. Adaptable grew hair to face the cold and survived.
• What was the approach of Denial? What was its result?

• What was the approach of Herd? What was its result?
• What was the approach of Arrogant? What was its result?
• What was the approach of Adaptable? What was its result?
• How do accepting reality and adaptability help?
Activity 3.3: Activities on Creative Thinking Skills
to reframe rigid thinking patterns with flexible and creative thinking skills.
1. Ask the participants what they mean by rigid versus creative thinking and write
on the board. Then, select any of the following activities:
2. Small Group Discussion on Alternate Use of a Common Item: Divide the
participants into three small groups to discuss the alternate use of a common
item. Examples of common items are pencil, table, plate and handkerchief. The
small groups may write down as many different uses of the item as the members
can think of and share with the large group.
3. Reframing Rigid Thinking Patterns with Flexible and Creative Thinking

Skills: Identity examples of the following types of rigid thinking patterns:
(1) Inflexible approach: For example, I cannot tolerate any change in my daily
routine so do not like house guests.
(2) ‘All or nothing’ type of thinking: For example, I want a first rank or else I
will leave studies.
(3) ‘Should and must’ statements: For example, I love my friend so much, and
she must love me the same way.
You volunteer to enact the rigid thinking and then ask the participants whether it
is realistic and the implications of irrational thinking. Ask for volunteers to reframe
it into flexible or creative thinking. Show the Summary Chart 3.2 to discuss the
skills of creative thinking.
4. Creative Strategies by Small Groups: Divide the participants into three small
groups to discuss creative strategies for a task each, depending upon their age
group and life situation. Examples of the tasks are:
(1) Rearranging the classroom,
(2) Rearranging the public garden,
(3) Planning a sports centre.
Alternatively, the same task may be given to all the small groups and the
outcome compared for examining the range of creative ideas possible for one
task.
5. Ask the small groups to share their creative strategies with the large group.
Time Estimate: 30–45 min
• Why do we tend to think rigidly?
• What is unrealistic in such thinking?
• What are the implications of rigid thinking?
• How can such thinking be reframed in a realistic, flexible and creative manner?
• Is there any limit to creativity?
• Is creativity only possible for scientists? Can we all not be creative?
• What are the advantages of creative thinking?
• How does rigid thinking stop us from being creative?
• How can we enhance our creativity?
Rational and Critical Thinking Skills
Irrational Thinking
Overgeneralisation, emotional reasoning and mind reading are examples of irra-

tional thinking.
Overgeneralisation: Overgeneralisation comprises thinking in terms of never,

always, everybody, nobody and so on. In such thinking, a single negative event or
lack of ability becomes proof of general failure on our part (Atkinson, 1992). The
overgeneralised statements need to be reframed with factual accuracy. Thoughts
such as ‘My father is always shouting at me’ can be reframed rationally as ‘My
father shouts at me when I tell a lie’.
Emotional Reasoning: Emotional reasoning is an irrational thinking pattern when
we think something must be true because we ‘feel’ it so strongly, ignoring or
discounting the evidence to the contrary (Lesser & Pope, 2007). Emotional rea-
soning such as ‘I feel something terrible has happened’ can be reframed rationally
as ‘I will not worry about something that I do not know anything about’.
Mind Reading: Mind reading is an irrational thinking pattern when we believe we
know what others are thinking, failing to consider other more likely possibilities
(Lesser & Pope, 2007). Mind reading such as ‘I know my neighbour does not like
me as he never says hello to me’ can be reframed rationally as ‘My neighbour
seems to be a reserved person, I will try to say hello to her if she does not mind’.
Hamilton (2007, p. 151) lists primacy effect, false consensus bias, confirmation
bias and fundamental attribution error that may lead to cognitive misperceptions as
discussed below.
Primacy Effect: Paying greater attention to the first information, we get about a
person or situation than to information that comes later.
False Consensus Bias: Assuming that other people perceive and interpret things,
the same way we do.
Confirmation Bias: Noticing and remembering information and events that support
the beliefs we already have about something, while simultaneously failing to notice
or remember information or events to the contrary.
Fundamental Attribution Error: Assuming other people’s behaviour is a result of
their personality, while failing to acknowledge potential situational influences.
Rational Thinking Skills
Irrational thinking patterns need to be replaced by rational thinking skills.

Following are characteristics of rational thinking: clarity, consistency, openness,
communicativeness and specificity.
Clarity: Act in ways that are perceived clearly by observers.

Consistency: Act in consistent ways. They do not change their behaviour or
responses to similar situations in ways that appear unjustified, irrational or capricious.
Openness: Honest and willing to account for their actions, to admit to frustrations
and anxieties as well as to successes and pleasures, and to admit to dilemmas and
ambiguities they are facing.
Communicativeness: Able to explain the reasons for their actions in terms that are
understood clearly. They are able to use illustrative examples, metaphors and
analogies in discussing what they hope to achieve by acting in certain ways.
Specificity: Exhibit external, specific behaviours that allow for interpretative
imitation. Observers can perceive particular actions, responses and behaviours that
they can try out, in appropriately adapted ways, in their own contexts (Brookfield,
1987).
Critical Thinking Skills
Rational thinking uses critical thinking approach which is making a judgement

about information with the use of relevant criteria. Critical thinkers can distinguish
between:
• Reliable and unreliable information.
• Facts and opinions.
• Definite and indefinite conclusions (Langrehr, 2001).
Gibbs and Gambrill (1999) have identified the following attitudes as related to
critical thinking:
• Believe in and respect human rights and the dignity and intrinsic worth of all
human beings.
• Respect opinions that differ from one’s own.
• Seek reasons for beliefs and claims.
• Rely on sound evidence.
• Remain relevant to the main point.
• Seek alternatives.
• Seek clarity.
According to Brookfield (1987), following are components of critical thinking:
• Simply because a practice or structure has existed for a long time does not mean
that it is the most appropriate for all time, or even for this moment.
• Just because an idea is accepted by everyone else does not mean that we have to
believe in its innate truth without first checking its correspondence with reality
as we experience it.
• Awareness that practices, structures and actions are never context-free.
Awareness of how context shapes what one considers ‘normal’ and natural ways
of thinking and living. Critical thinkers realise that in other contexts entirely
different norms are considered ‘normal’.
• Critical thinkers realise that alternatives to supposed fixed belief systems,
habitual behaviours and entrenched social structures always exist, so they
become sceptical of claims to universal truth or to ultimate explanations.
Activities
Activity 3.4: Reframing Irrational Thinking with Rational Thinking Skills
to reframe irrational thinking with rational thinking skills.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by irrational versus rational thinking and
write on the board.
2. Identify examples of the following types of irrational thinking patterns:
(1) Overgeneralisation: For example, my father is always shouting at me.
(2) Emotional reasoning: For example, I have a feeling that something terrible
has happened.
(3) Mind reading: For example, I know my neighbour does not like me as he
never says hello to me.
3. You enact the irrational thinking and then ask the participants whether it is
realistic and the implications of irrational thinking.
4. Ask them to use clarity, reasoning, evidence, specificity and consistency, for
rational thinking.
5. Ask for volunteers to reframe it into rational thinking.
• Why do we tend to think irrationally?

• How can irrational thinking be reframed into rational thinking?
• What is rational thinking?
Activity 3.5: Activities on Critical Thinking
of critical thinking.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by critical thinking.
2. Show Summary Chart 3.3 to discuss how alternatives to supposed fixed belief
systems always exist, so they need to become sceptical of claims to universal
truth or to ultimate explanations.
3. Then, select one of the following activities:

Critical Review of Mass Media: Divide the participants into small groups to
critically review the following media: (1) newspapers, (2) magazines,
(3) hoardings, (4) radio programmes, (5) TV serials, (6) TV advertisements and
(7) movies with reference to the following questions:
• Is the message clear and consistent?
• How does this medium deal with reliable versus unreliable information, facts
versus opinions or definite versus indefinite conclusions?
• Who benefits from what they portray?
• What effects it has on the common person?
• How can this medium promote rational and critical thinking?
Ask the small groups to share their discussion with the large group for further
inputs.
Small Group Discussion on Identification of the Subjective ‘Normal’: Ask

the participants what they mean by ‘normal’. Divide the participants into small
groups to discuss the concept of ‘normal’ with reference to topics such as
(a) dressing, (b) eating, (c) wedding ceremonies and (d) dancing through the
following questions:
(1) What is the normal way in my culture?
(2) Is it normal because it is biological/god-given? Or is it normal because the
majority does it? Or is it normal because it is being done for a long time?
(3) What is my attitude to those who do not use these ‘normal’ ways?
(4) Is ‘normal’ same in all cultures? Do different cultures have different norms?
Ask the small groups to share their discussion with the large group.
• What is critical thinking?

• Can we distinguish between reliable and unreliable information? Facts and
opinions? Definite and indefinite conclusions?
• Can we respect opinions that differ from our own?
• Can we question the concept of ‘normal’ because in contexts other than ours,
entirely different norms are considered ‘normal’?
• What are the advantages of critical thinking?
• How can enhance our critical thinking?
Positive Thinking Skills
Negative Thinking
Negative thinking is to see negativity in oneself and in others, and in one’s past,
present and future. According to Atkinson (1992), all of us have negative thought
patterns at some time, but some people get trapped in a negative way of thinking
which limits their ability to act or to change. Negative thinking patterns comprise of
mental filter/selective abstractions, ignoring the positive, catastrophising, labelling,
fortune telling and so on, which needs to be reframed with positive thinking
skills.
Mental Filter/Selective Abstraction: We pay undue attention to negative details

instead of seeing the whole picture (Lesser & Pope, 2007). It is similar to ignoring
the positive, when we ignore the nice things that happen to us and concentrate on
what is not happening or what went wrong (Atkinson, 1992).
Catastrophising: When things do not go the way we want them to, we jump to the
worst conclusion. A minor upset gets defined as a crisis (Atkinson, 1992). This is
commonly known as making a mountain out of a mole.
Labelling: Lesser and Pope (2007) identify labelling that is putting a fixed global
label on ourselves or others without considering that the evidence might more
reasonably lead to a less disastrous conclusion.
Fortune Telling: We are so convinced that things will turn out badly that we act as
though they already have done so. The future is a fact we have predicted and we
intend to make sure it happens (Atkinson, 1992).
Negative Thoughts about Ourselves: We have the following types of ideas about
ourselves that we use as limitations or resistance to changing: we are too old/young/
fat/thin/short/tall/strong/weak/dumb/smart/poor/worthless and so on (Hay, 2004,
p. 53).
Positive Thinking Skills
Positive thinking is to see positivity in oneself and in others, and in one’s past,
present and future:
• Positive thinking about oneself leads to self-esteem.
• Positive thinking about others leads to acceptance and sensitivity.
• Positive thinking about the past leads to gratitude.
• Positive thinking about the present leads to happiness.
• Positive thinking about the future leads to optimism (adapted from Desai 2010,
p. 131).
Positive thinking does not deny problems; problems in positive thinking are seen as
opportunities to learn (Matthews 1988). Such thinking is very essential for positive
emotions and action (Carlson & Bailey, 1997).
Gratitude
Gratitude for what we have is the core of positive thinking. We all have many
persons in our life to be grateful to, for example, our family members, friends, our
teachers and our neighbours. We need to set zero expectations for what we receive
as others do not owe us anything. Thinking that we are entitled to more than we
have leads to feeling deprived and resentful. We need to view every moment and
everything that we receive as gifts to appreciate and be grateful for (Stevens, 1998).
Gratitude makes us and the receiver both happy. Lack of gratitude or complaining
brings little to rejoice about (Hay, 1996).
Gawain (1996) notes that it is relatively easy to feel gratitude when good things
are happening and life is going the way we want it to. Even then we often take
things for granted. According to him, a much greater challenge is to get in touch
with gratitude when we are going through a difficult time. Gratitude would be the
last thing that occurs to us at such a moment. However, after going through a
difficult time, in retrospect we often see that there was something important and
necessary about that experience. An important lesson was learned, our wisdom
deepened and so on (Gawain, 1996).
Activities
Activity 3.6: Awareness of Negative Thinking Patterns
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will:
1. Develop awareness of their negative thinking patterns; and

2. Learn the skills to reframe them with positive thinking skills.
1. Ask the participants what they mean by negative thinking?

2. Form five small groups and allocate the following types of negative thinking
patterns to them:
(1) Mental filter/selective abstractions,
(2) Ignoring the positive,
(3) Catastrophising,
(4) Fortune telling,
(5) Labelling.
3. Each small group may discuss the following questions for the respective type of
negative thinking pattern:
(1) What are the examples of such thinking?
(2) What is unrealistic about such thinking?
(3) What makes us think this way?
(4) What are the implications of this type of thinking?
(5) How can such thinking be reframed?
4. Small groups present the discussion to the large group for further inputs.
Activity 3.7: Story of Positive Thinking
advantages of positive thinking.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by positive thinking.
2. Share one of the following stories depending on the age group of the
participants.
Story of ‘Whatever Happens, Happens for the Good’: If the participants are
children, share the following story of ‘Whatever Happens, Happens for the Good’
with the participants:
One day a king was standing in the balcony of his palace. It was a windy and cool
evening. As the wind started getting wilder, the king went to the door to get back into
his chamber. Just then a strong wind blew. The doors to the chamber shut with a loud
bang. As the king had placed his hand on the door to get in, his finger got caught
between the two doors and was cut. Hearing his cries, the guards and the king’s wise
prime minister arrived on the scene immediately. Seeing that the king’s finger was
cut, the guards said some sympathetic words but the prime minister said, “Whatever
happens, happens for the good.” Hearing these unconsoling words, the king lost his
temper. He said, “Guards, go and put him in prison.” So the prime minister was
imprisoned. The king appointed a new prime minister.
A few days later, the king and some staff went on a hunting trip. In the jungle,
some dacoits caught the king as they were looking for a prefect man to be sacrificed
in the name of their goddess. When they examined the king, they saw that his finger
was missing. So they set him free. The king reached back to his palace. He asked
the guards to free and fetch the imprisoned prime minister. The king said to him,
“You were right. Whatever happens happens for the good. I was saved due to my
missing finger. You are free now. Now hold your post as usual.” The prime minister
smiled, bowed low and said, “Yes, Your Majesty, whatever happens, happens for
the good.” (Tiny Tot Best of Moral Stories, 2002)
Story of Viktor Frankl: If the participants are adults, share the story of Viktor
Frankl who chronicled his experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp inmate
during World War II, in Man’s Search for Meaning (1946) as follows.
He describes his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose
in life to feel positively about, and then immersively imagining that outcome.
Frankl concluded that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life
never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death. He offered the thought
that for everyone in a dire condition there is someone looking down, a friend,
family member or even God, who would expect not to be disappointed. He con-
cluded from his experience that a prisoner’s psychological reactions are not solely
the result of the conditions of his life, but also from the freedom of choice he always
has even in severe suffering. The inner hold a prisoner has on his spiritual self relies
on having a hope in the future, and that once a prisoner loses that hope, he is
doomed.
According to Frankl (1946), we can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of
independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical
stress. Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various
mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in
the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was
the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.
Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide
what shall become of him—mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human
dignity even in a concentration camp. Humour was another of the soul’s weapons in
the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humour, more than anything
else in the human make-up, can afford aloofness and an ability to rise above any
situation, even if only for a few seconds.
• What is the meaning of ‘Whatever happens, happens for the good’? Is that
always true? Why?
• Can we see positivity in oneself and in others?
• Can we see positivity in one’s past, present and future? How?
• How did Frankl see positivity in the worse of situations like the concentration
camp?
Activity 3.8: Pairing and Sharing Positive Thinking About the Past
of positive thinking about the past.

1. Ask participants to form pairs to share the following about their childhood/
adolescence:
• Share one happy memory.
• Share one sad memory.
• Think of the positive outcomes of the sad event, with the help of their
partner.
2. The pairs to volunteer to share their thoughts with the large group, only if they
feel comfortable doing so.
3. Remind the participants that it is important that the group is sensitive while
listening to sad memories and does not invalidate any negative feelings asso-
ciated with the memories.
• Was it easy of difficult to think of the positive outcomes of the sad event?
• Was the partner helpful in doing so?
Activity 3.9: Gratitude
of mental gratitude as well as expression of gratitude.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by gratitude.
2. Ask them to write what they are grateful about with reference to the following
aspects in their diary:
(1) About their body,
(2) About their talents and abilities,
(3) About my family and friends,
(4) About education and teachers,
(5) About work, colleagues and income,
(6) About nature.
3. Ask a volunteer to recite the gratitude prayer from Summary Chart 3.4.
4. Ask the participants to identify one person who has contributed/is contributing
to their lives but they have not expressed their gratitude to them. Ask them to
write a letter to express their gratitude to this person.
• What is gratitude?
• How did you feel expressing your gratitude to one person?
• Can we set zero expectations for what we receive and therefore feel thankful to
everyone in our life?
Activity 3.10: Positive Affirmations for the Future
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to the
skills of positive affirmations.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by positive thinking.
2. Ask participants to stop talking, close their eyes and take a deep breath.
3. Initiate the following positive self-talk/affirmations:
• I like my uniqueness.
• I am a loveable person.
• I am my best friend.
• Others are loveable persons.
• I have many capabilities.
• Others have many capabilities.
• My thoughts, feelings, decisions, communication, behaviour and happiness
are in my control.
• I must give today’s activities my best.
• I am going to enjoy what I do today.
• I have a problem but it can be solved.
• I am going to learn from this problem.
• It is okay if I make a mistake, I will learn from it.
• Whatever happens, happens for the good.
4. The participants add to these positive affirmations mentally.

• How is positive thinking about future different from optimism?
• How are problems seen in positive thinking?

Application of Proactive Thinking Skills

to Decision-Making Skills
According to Michelson, Sugai, Wood, and Kazdin (1983), decision-making is a

combination of skilled organising, choosing and acting. Michelson et al. (1983)
stated that by not being able to decide:
• We can lose out on good opportunities and experiences.
• Other people might have less confidence in us.
• We end up wasting time.
• We can end up feeling frustrated with ourselves.
• Others might end up ‘deciding’ for us.
Following are the steps in good decision-making:
1. All the members should be relaxed, seated face-to-face in a circle and participate
in the decision-making by sharing and listening.
2. Invite everyone to share the facts of the problem (who, where, when, why and
how).
3. Then, invite everyone to share their feelings, opinions and perceptions attached
to these facts.
4. Carry out a brainstorming of suggestions for action and write down on the board
without evaluating them.
5. Discuss each suggestion with reference to its advantages and disadvantages and
the resources/capacity that the association has to implement it.
6. Arrive at a decision that would satisfy all the members.
7. Allocate roles to implement the decision taken but make a joint commitment and
take joint responsibility for its consequences.
8. Monitor the consequences of implementation of the decision and decide whether
there is a need to change it. Instead of regretting the decision, take it as a
learning experience.
9. It is okay to make mistakes in decision-making and learn from them.
Activities
Activity 3.11: Role-Plays on Decision-Making Skills
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to apply
the proactive flexible and creative, rational and critical, and positive thinking skills
to develop decision-making skills.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by decision-making skills and write on the
board.
2. Discuss Summary Chart 3.5 on the decision-making procedure.
3. Take an example of decision-making for a child about which extracurricular
activity to join after school.
4. Ask a participant to volunteer to be the child and another to volunteer to be the
parent to demonstrate helping the child through the steps in decision-making as
explained above.
5. Ask another pair to volunteer to carry out the same role-play in a different way.
1. How was the decision-making carried out?

2. What is the best time to take decisions?
3. What is the best procedure to take decisions?
4. How does exploring alternatives or creative thinking help to take a decision?
5. How did gathering information and assessing it critically help in decision-making?
6. How did self-responsibility help in decision-making?
7. How will you monitor a decision taken?
8. Is it wrong to make a mistake after taking and implementing a decision?
Application of Proactive Thinking Skills

to Problem-Solving Skills
Concept and Theories
Everyone faces problems in life. However, we often deny our problem by

thinking:
• There is nothing wrong with me.
• I can’t do anything about this problem.
• It was alright last time.
• If I ignore it, the problem will go away (Hay, 2004).
The fascinating thing about problems is that they are actually opportunities in
disguise. In the process of problem-solving, one can meet with success and failures.
One can learn from one’s failures too. It is also important to understand that all
problems cannot be solved; one has to learn to live with some problems. Sometimes,
when no solution is in sight, it is necessary to put the problem on the back burner,
with the facts and the possible solutions. It prevents stress and allows us to attend to
the present and get back to it with more creative solutions (Carlson & Bailey, 1997).
Following are the steps recommended for problem-solving, facilitated by posi-

tive, critical and creative thinking:
1. Identify the real problem and not just its symptom, for which a solution is needed;
2. Understand one’s perception, opinions, feelings and action about the problem;
3. Accept ambiguity and uncertainty in life;
4. Do not have an “either/or” approach, have an “and/also” approach;
5. Explore alternatives for the solution to the problem;
6. Select the best solution with reference to the following criteria:
• The resources/capacity that you have to implement each alternative and
• The advantages and disadvantages that each alternative may lead to with
reference to self and others.
7. Make a commitment to implement the solution chosen and take responsibility
for its consequences;
8. Monitor the consequences of implementation of the solution; and
9. Rethink the solution if the previous one fails.
Activities
Activity 3.12: Game of Practising Problem-Solving
the proactive flexible and creative, rational and critical, and positive thinking skills
to develop problem-solving skills.
1. Ask the participants what they mean by problems and problem-solving and
write on the board.
2. Make groups of about ten members each.
3. One at a time, each group to stand in a circle, close to each other, shoulder to
shoulder.
4. Each participant to grab two other hands of persons not standing next to them.
The result is an awkward but hilarious tangle.
5. Now untangle yourselves without letting go the hand that they are holding. You
can jump over some hands, go beneath some hands and turn around with their
hands, going over others’ heads and so on, to untangle themselves.
6. You may end up with a large circle like you started with or some small inter-
connected circles. Some may not be able to untangle themselves (Adapted from
‘All in Knots’ in Energize, 1991).
1. Does denying a problem help to solve it?

2. How are problems opportunities in disguise?
3. What all strategies were tried out to solve the problem?
4. What role was played by positive thinking in the problem-solving process?
5. What role was played by creative thinking in the problem-solving process?
Application of Proactive Thinking Skills to Time

Management Skills
Time is the one indispensable and irreplaceable resource in our life. The degree to
which we feel in control of our time, the more we achieve and the less stressful we
feel (Tracy, 2013).
Contributors to Poor Time Management
According to the Southwest Texas State University (2003), the major contributors
to poor time management are disorganisation, perfectionism, Parkinson’s law and
lack of assertion:
• Disorganisation: Many people set out to do a task without completing any
preliminary steps such as gathering necessary materials. Frequent interruptions
to get paper, pencil, calculator and so on, or to make a quick trip to the library,
may interfere with any momentum they already have going.
• Perfectionism: When we put a lot of time and effort into a project, we often
want every detail to be perfect. However, we rarely stop to think about it in
terms of cost and pay-off, for example, spending more time on a project that
carries fewer marks.
• Parkinson’s Law: Work will expand to fill the time allowed for its completion.
Some people claim that they work better or more efficiently under pressure; it is
highly likely that Parkinson’s law is operating when they are not under strict
time constraints.
• Lack of Assertion: Sometimes, we spend time doing favours for others that
could be better spent in our own tasks. In an effort to please others, we often take
time out of our own busy schedule to spend time on their priorities and later
resent them when our own work piles up. Being assertive about our own pri-
orities can save both time and friends.
• Procrastination: Identify the activities that they procrastinate and the reasons
for it from the following. Discuss how to deal with each of them.
– I must be perfect,
– The risk is too great,
– I can’t risk failure,
– The problem will go away by itself,
– The task is boring (Atkinson, 1992).
The Important Versus the Urgent Method of Time Management
The two factors that need attention in the time management matrix are importance
and urgency of the tasks. An important task is something that has long-term con-
sequences. An urgent task is something that cannot be postponed (Tracy, 2013).
According to Tracy (2013):
• The important and urgent quadrant is the quadrant of immediacy which has the
most important priority tasks.
• The important and not urgent quadrant is the quadrant of effectiveness which
has important tasks that we tend to procrastinate.
• The urgent and not important quadrant is the quadrant of delusion which has
tasks that contribute little or not at all to your life.
• The not important and not urgent quadrant is the quadrant of waste that has tasks
which are a complete waste of time.
The ABCDE Method of Time Management
Tracy (2013) proposes the ABCDE method of time management according to

which, begin by making a list of the tasks that you have to do the following day.
Then, write A, B, C, D or E next to each item on your list which mean the following
and implement it:
• A: Mark the tasks that you must do with an A.
• B: Mark the items that you should do with a B.
• C: Mark the tasks that are nice to do with a C.
• D: Mark the tasks that you can delegate to someone else with a D.
• E: Mark the tasks that you can eliminate all together with an E.
Activities
Activity 3.13: Self-Assessment and Improving Time Management
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to assess
their time management and the skills to improve it with the help of proactive
thinking skills.

1. Self-Assessment: Ask the participants to keep a diary of their daily activities for
a week and add up the total number of hours spent in the Exercise on
Self-Assessment of Time Management (see p. 96). Show Summary Chart 3.6 to
discuss the important activities for which they are not getting enough time.
Identify activities that are taking more time than they would like. Understand the
reasons for the same.
2. Small Group Discussion: Form three small groups and each group to identify
one issue with time management in their work. The groups to discuss strategies
of saying ‘no’ to unimportant urgent activities, minimising time waster activities
and prioritisation among them for discussion as follows:
• Saying ‘No’ to Unimportant Urgent Activities: Identify the unimportant
activities that they often agree to do because they cannot say no. For
example, taking long calls of friends, help a colleague when our projects are
pending and so on. Ask the small groups to identify any one situation and
prepare a role-play saying no to such activity.
• Minimising Time Waster Activities: Share with one another the different
time waster activities in their lives (e.g. unending phone calls, mindless chat
and too much television). Ask the pairs to discuss how to minimise these.
Volunteering pairs can share with the larger group, and a discussion can be
generated on the same topic.
• Prioritisation: Discuss ways of prioritising one’s work. Ask the pairs to
share their discussion with the larger group.
3. Ask the small groups to present their discussions to the large group through
role-plays.
1. What are the reasons when we cannot manage our time properly?
2. How can we improve our time management?
3. How can we say ‘no’ to unimportant urgent activities?
4. How can we minimise time waster activities?
5. How can we prioritise activities?
6. What role is played by creative thinking in time management?
7. What role is played by critical thinking in time management?
8. What role is played by positive thinking in time management?

1. Show the power points/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a
time and ask the participants whether they think they have achieved the
objective.
Summary Chart 3.1 Reactive versus proactive thinking

(Adapted from Covey, 1997)
ReacƟve Thinking ProacƟve Thinking Skills

•Reac ng to others or situa ons •Proac ve thinking skill is a product
impulsively, without much of one’s conscious choice, based
thinking on values
•Reac ve thinking can be rigid, •Proac ve thinking skills comprise
irra onal & nega ve flexible and crea ve thinking,
•Efforts are focused on others or ra onal and cri cal thinking, and
circumstances over which we have posi ve thinking skills
no control •Efforts are focused on things we
•It creates nega ve energy can do something about
•It creates posi ve energy
Summary Chart 3.2 Skills of creative thinking

(Adapted from Langrehr, 2001)
Characteristics of Strategies of Creative Thinkers
Creative Thinkers
• Risk taking • Combine ideas of what exists.
• Curiosity • Reverse thinking of what exists.
• Lack of inhibition • Eliminate the unnecessary from what exists.
• Non-conforming attitude • Think of the alternatives to what exists.
• Fantasising/daydreaming • Elaborate or extend what exists.
attitude
Summary Chart 3.3 Alternate perceptions

(Adapted from Rubin’s vase by Danish Psychologist Edgar Rubin)
Summary Chart 3.4 Gratitude prayer

(Adapted from Hay, 1996)
I am grateful for myself and for my body.

I am grateful for my ability to see, hear, feel and taste and touch.
I am grateful for my talents and abilities.
I am grateful for all of nature.
I am grateful for my family, friends, work and income.
I am grateful for my past experiences for I know that they were
part of my soul's growth.
I am grateful for today and I am grateful for the tomorrows to come.
Summary Chart 3.5 Decision-making procedure
1. All the members should be relaxed, seated face-to-face in a circle, and

participate in the decision-making by sharing and listening.
2. Invite everyone to share the facts of the problem (who, where, when,
why and how).
3. Then invite everyone to share their feelings, opinions and perceptions
attached to these facts.
4. Carry out a brainstorming of suggestions for action and write down on
the board without evaluating them.
5. Discuss each suggestion with reference to its advantages and
disadvantages and the resources/capacity that the association has to
implement it.
6. Arrive at a decision that would satisfy all the members.
7. Allocate roles to implement the decision taken but make a joint
commitment and take joint responsibility for its consequences.
Summary Chart 3.6 Time management matrix

(Adapted from Covey, 1998)
Urgent Not Urgent
Important Important-Urgent Activities Important-Not Urgent

which make us Activities which need to be
procrastinators: prioritised:
• Crises such as accidents • Planning and prevention
• Deadline-driven activities such • Relationship building
as exams • Recognising new
• Pressing problems opportunities
• Recreation
Result: Stress and anxiety,
burnout and mediocre Result: Control of life,
performance balance and high performance
Not Not Important-Urgent Not Important-Not Urgent

Important Activities which take priority Activities which make us
for yes-persons (those who slackers:
cannot say ‘no’): • Too much television
• Unimportant mail/ phone calls • Excessive computer games
• Other people’s small problems • Endless phone calls
• Peer pressure • Time wasters
• Popular activities
Result: Reputation of being a Result: lack of responsibility,

pleaser and lack of discipline guilt and flakiness
Exercise for Activity 3.13: Self-Assessment of Time Management
No. of Sleep Bathe, Travel Study Home Play Social

Hours Eat to in Work and Inter-
etc. School School Recrea- actions
tion
Mon
Tues
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
Total
Acknowledgements This module is an adapted and revised version of the following chapter in
a book by the author: Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 6: Enrichment of Proactive Thinking Skills.
In A Rights-Based Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg:
Springer, Series on Children’s Well-Being: Indicators and Research.
References
Atkinson, J. (1992). Better time management. New Delhi: Harper Collins Publishers India Private
Limited.
Brookfield, S. D. (1987). Developing critical thinkers: Challenging adults to explore alternative
ways of thinking and acting. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.
Carlson, R. (1997). Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff: Simple ways to keep the
Carlson, R., & Bailey, J. (1997). Slowing down to the speed of life: How to create a more peaceful
simpler life from the inside out. New York: Harper Collins Publishers.
Covey, S. (1998). The 7 habits of highly effective teens. London: Simon and Schuster.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1996). Creativity: Flow and the psychology of discovery and invention.
New York: Harper Collins Publishers.
Children’s well-being: Indicators and research. Heidelberg: Springer.
Energize. (1991). Energize. Granville: Quest International.
Epstein, R. (2000). The big book of creativity games: Quick, fun activities for jumpstarting
innovation. New Delhi: Tata McGraw Hill.
Frankl, V. (1946). Man’s search for meaning. Retrieved from http://www.phoenix5.org/books/
Frankl/FranklMenu.html
Gawain, S. (1996). Being grateful during life’s challenges. In L. L. Hay & Friends (Eds.),
Gratitude: A way of life (pp. 85–88). New Delhi: Hay House India.
Gibbs, L., & Gambrill, E. (1999). Critical thinking for social workers: Exercises for the helping
profession. Thousand Oaks, California: Pine Forge Press.
Hamilton, V. M. (2007). Human relations: The art and science of building effective relationships.
New Jersey: Pearson Prentice Hall.
Hay, L.L. (1996). Gratitude Prayer. In L. L. Hay & Friends (Eds.), Gratitude: A way of life
(pp. 311–312). New Delhi: Hay House India.
Langrehr, J. (2001). Become a better thinker. Bangalore: Mastermind Books.
Matthews, A. (1988). Being happy! A handbook to greater confidence and security. Singapore:
Media Masters.
Michelson, L., Sugai, D. P., Wood, R. P., & Kazdin, A. E. (1983). Social skills assessment and
training with children: An empirically based handbook. New York: Plenum Press.
Nelson-Jones, R. (1999). Creating happy relationships. London: Continuum.
Robbins, S. P., Chatterjee, P., & Canda, E. R. (2006). Contemporary human behavior theory:
A critical perspective for social work (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn and Bacon.
Thomson.
Southwest Texas State University. (2003). Time management. Retrieved from www.counseling.
uchicago.edu/vpc/.
Stevens, T.G. (1998). You can choose to be happy. Counselling and Psychological Services at
California State University.
Tiny Tot Best of Moral Stories. (2002). Delhi: Tiny Tot Publications.
Tracy, B. (2013). Time management. New York: American Management Association.
Vishala, M. (2013). Build a new world: 9 & 10. New Delhi: Evergreen Publications.
Module 4
Emotional Intelligence
Prerequisite Modules
The prerequisite modules for this module are as follows:
• Self-Empowerment (Module 2)
• Proactive Thinking Skills (Module 3)
Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
Concept of Emotions
According to Plutchik (1982, cited in Kalat & Shiota, 2007), an emotion is an inferred
complex sequence of reactions to a stimulus including cognitive evaluations, sub-
jective changes, autonomic and neural arousal, impulses to action and behaviour
designed to have an effect upon the stimulus that initiated the complex sequence.
Kalat and Shiota (2007) identify the following key points of this definition:
1. Every emotion is a reaction to a situation.
2. Mood is a general long-lasting disposition not dependent on any single event.
3. Every emotion includes three aspects: cognition, feeling and action.
4. Emotions are functional—that is useful.
5. Emotion is inferred, not observed. You feel your own emotions but infer others’.
Koprowska (2005) describes the purpose of emotion as survival. The good
feeling we experience in relation to food, companionship and sexual relationship
motivates us to keep health, stay safely with others and reproduce the species.
Anger helps us to protect ourselves through fighting; fear protects us through
running away; and so on.
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_4
100 4 Emotional Intelligence
Types of Emotions
Joy, distress, anger, fear, surprise and disgust are basic emotions that are universal
and innate; they are not learned; they are hardwired into the human brain. They are
of rapid onset and last a few seconds at a time. On the other hand, love, guilt,
shame, embarrassment, pride, envy and jealousy are higher cognitive emotions that
are also universal, but they are more capable of being influenced by conscious
thoughts, and this is probably why they are more culturally variable than the basic
emotions. They take longer to build up and longer to die away, than basic emotions
(Evans, 2001). Emotions are also dichotomised into negative and positive emotions.
Linkage Between Thinking and Emotions
Aristotle pointed out that emotions both influence, and are influenced by, the
thoughts we have (Evans, 2001). Hepworth, Rooney, Rooney, Strom-Gottfried, and
Larson (2006) note that the dynamic interaction among cognitions, emotions and
behaviours influences social functioning. Cognitive–behavioural therapy
(CBT) explores the relationship between thoughts and subsequent feelings and
behaviour (McInnis-Dittrich, 2002). Its founder, Albert Ellis (cited in Ellis, 1999),
described the sequence of events that ultimately lead to our experiencing feelings:
• ‘G’ is our goal that we assume will bring us happiness.
• ‘A’ refers to an Activating event.
• ‘B’ refers to Beliefs or thinking or interpretation about the Activating event which
may be negative or positive. People differ with regard to their feelings associated
with events solely due to the fact that they have different interpretations.
• ‘C’ refers to the Consequences that follow the Activating event and the Beliefs
or the Consequent emotion and may be positive or negative depending on the
positive or negative thinking.
• ‘D’ is Disputing the irrational beliefs that make us feel the negative emotions
and making them rational.
Negative and positive emotions flow from negative and positive thinking,
respectively, and emotions within each category are intercorrelated. CBT is based
on the assumption that both cognitive and behavioural responses to events and
situations are learned. Through a process of relearning, people can change their
emotional and behavioural response to situations (McInnis-Dittrich, 2002).
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is most important for promotion of mental health and pre-
vention of mental health problems. Salovey and Mayer (1990, cited in Compton,
2005) proposed the following five characteristics of emotional intelligence:
1. Recognising and expressing one’s emotions,

2. Ability to manage/regulate one’s emotions,
3. Using emotions to motivate oneself to reach goals and remain focused,
4. Recognising emotions in others and being empathic,
5. Ability to create and maintain effective interpersonal relationships.
Activities
Introductory Activity 4.1: Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
awareness on emotional intelligence.

1. Ask the participants following questions:
a. What is emotion?
b. Why is it important?
2. Show the Summary Chart 4.1 on Understanding Emotions and discuss how
emotion is a reaction to a situation based on our thinking about the situation. It is
the thinking and not the situation that leads to an emotion that leads to action.
For the same situation, negative thinking leads to negative emotion and action
and positive thinking leads to positive emotion and action. So converting
negative emotions into positive emotions requires reframing the negative
thinking into positive thinking.
3. Show the Summary Chart 4.2 and discuss how emotions are necessary for
survival.
4. Ask the participants what they mean by emotional intelligence and why is it
important.
5. Show Summary Chart 4.3 and discuss how emotional intelligence can be
achieved by:
a. Emotional awareness in self and expression,
b. Emotional awareness in others or empathy,
c. Regulating negative emotions,
d. Enrichment of positive emotions.
• Emotional awareness and expression,
• Regulating negative emotions,
• Enrichment of positive emotions.
Emotional Awareness and Expression
Awareness and Expression of Emotions in Self
It is important that we recognise the emotion that we may be experiencing at a given

point of time and identify the reason for the same. Secondly, the emotion and its
rationale need to be expressed in the I-language conveying self-responsibility (West
& Turner, 2006). Trying to suppress anger or irritation usually increases the
intensity of the emotion. In some cases, the difficulties that arise from trying to
avoid an emotional situation may be more of a problem than the original one. Most
of the time, it is better to deal with the feelings and the situation than to try to cover
them up (Ford, 2006).
Awareness of Emotions in Others/Empathy
Awareness of emotions in others or empathy comes from sensitivity. Sensitivity is

awareness and insight into the state of others. It may be enhanced by improving the
accuracy and range of abilities such as ability to observe and make inferences and
ability to transpose oneself imaginatively into the feelings, thinking and acting of
another. Sensitivity helps to avoid stereotypes and perceive specifics, thereby
increasing the possibility of making differentiation between persons. It leads to
acceptance or appreciation of the individuality and dignity of persons. It provides
accessibility, a precondition for the emergence of relationships that are free of
constraining obligation and conformity (Michelson, Sugai, Wood, & Kazdin, 1983).
Besides being aware of our own emotions, it is important to empathise with
others’ emotions. According to experts:
• Empathy is the capacity to understand the feelings and views of another person
(Shebib, 2003, p. 73).
• Empathy involves being in tune with how another person feels, conveying to the
person that you understand how he/she feels, without having the same feelings
(adapted from Kirst-Ashman & Hull, 2006, p. 52).
• Empathy is the expression of placing of credence on what the other feels and
experiences. By being empathic, we share the emotions of another person—
excitement, sadness, joy, exhilaration and so on. We particularly need to under-
stand needs of others that may be different from ours. In doing so, we are able to
achieve a subjective understanding of what the other person is experiencing
(Kadushin & Kadushin, 1997).
• Empathy leads to acceptance or appreciation of the individuality and dignity of
persons. It provides accessibility, a precondition for the emergence of rela-
tionships that are free of constraining obligation and conformity (Cartledge &
Milburn, 1995).
Others’ feelings can be inferred from their verbal communication, for example,
tone of voice, words and timing, and from their non-verbal behaviour, for example,
facial expressions, posture and gestures. Following inference of other’s feelings and
emotions, we can help others identify their true feelings, help ventilate them, clarify
their exact feelings and so on.
Ford (2006) proposes the following classification of people by the combination
of the two levels of emotional awareness:
1. People who experience others’ emotions but ignore their own.
2. People who easily step into their own feelings and increase them and ignore
others’.
3. People who downplay their own as well as others’ emotions through
overintellectualisation.
4. People who can experience others’ as well as their own emotions. This approach
is necessary for emotional intelligence.
Activities
Activity 4.2: Dumb Charade on Awareness and Expression of Emotions
of being aware of, express and infer emotions.

1. Make a number of chits with one feeling/emotion written on each, fold them and
ask the participants to take turns to pick one and act the emotion through body
language.
2. The rest of the participants observe and try to infer the feeling/emotion that is
being acted out.
3. The acting participant then shares one situation when he/she experiences that
emotion in the I-language.: ‘I feel this way when….’.
• How did you feel expressing an emotion non-verbally?
• How does it help to verbalise what emotion we feel?
• Do you express your emotions in the same way in real life? Why?
• What is the reason for your emotions? Are you responsible for it or others?
• Why is it important to express emotions in words?
• On what basis did you infer the emotion expressed by others?
• Why is it important to recognise and infer emotions in others?
• What happens when people especially boys/men are discouraged from
expressing their emotions?
• Are girls more emotional than boys or is it a stereotype?

Activity 4.3: Activities on Empathy
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn the skill of
empathy.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by sympathy and by empathy and write on
the board. Then, select any of the following activities.
2. Show a Video Film: Sympathy versus Empathy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
3. Blindfolded Walk with Partners: Make pairs of participants. One partner in
each pair blindfolds the other and guides the blindfolded partner for a brief walk
for five minutes outside the hall and back.
4. Empathy with a Friend: Ask a volunteer for a role-play where he/she has a
problem and wants to share with his/her friend. You enact the friend and
demonstrate sympathy with his/her. Then, ask for another volunteer who has to
enact empathy.
• What is sympathy? When and how is it expressed? How does the one who
receives sympathy feel?
• What is empathy?
• Can you understand the other person’s feelings without being in the same situation?
• How is empathy expressed? How does the one who receives empathy feel?
• How does empathy appreciate the dignity of the other person?
Regulating Negative Emotions
Messages of Negative Emotions
Cornelius and Faire (2006, p. 130) note that each negative emotion delivers a
message:
• Anger: I need change; I need to communicate this.
• Resentment: I need to take charge of my feelings; I need to take responsibility
for changing the situation.
• Hurt: I need to restore empathy; I need to be healed.
• Guilt: I need to make amends; I will do things differently next time.

• Fear: I need to take care; I need support; I need more facts; I need to slow down.
Types of Negative Emotions
Healthy negative emotions are essential and lead to action to resolve a problem.
Unhealthy negative emotions narrow an individual’s momentary thought–action
repertoire (Fredrickson & Levenson 1998, cited in Fredrickson, 2000) that prevents
us from taking any constructive action.
Effects of Negative Emotions
Unhealthy negative emotions lead to stress, biological changes and changes in

behaviour and relationships. They can also lead to depression, substance abuse,
suicide, and vulnerability to abuse and exploitation and harmful to self and others
such as conflict, aggression and crime.
Stress: According to experts:

• Events that create negative emotions are stressful (Kalat & Shiota, 2007).
• Stress is experienced when the demands of a situation tax or exceed a person’s
resources, and some type of harm or loss is anticipated (Lazarus, 1966 cited in
Rice, 2000).
• Stress is also caused by wanting more of something that we cannot have or
having more of something that we do not want (Carlson & Bailey, 1997).
• Stressors are stressful events or situations, chronic stressors are those which are
long term and not resolved quickly, and acute stressors are those that are short
term and require immediate response (Hamilton, 2007).
• Modern life tends to present people with many long-term non-life-threatening
stressors (Kalat & Shiota, 2007).
Biological Effects of Negative Emotions: Whenever we experience negative

emotions, the nerves of the brain and the nervous system get activated which leads to
many biological changes. Gupta (2002) lists the following biological changes that
take place in order to provide the increased energy to face the impending threat:
• Blood pressure is increased, and blood vessels are dilated.
• Digestion is shut down, and blood is diverted from stomach towards skeleton
muscles to provide them energy.
• Sweating increases, and skin resistance decreases.
• Blood is diverted away from the skin because peripheral blood vessels are
constricted.
• The activity of the immune system gets withdrawn for the time being.
As a result of these biological changes, frequent episodes of emotional problems

can bring about the following problems in the body:
• Migraine and headache,
• Digestive disorders, ulcers,
• Heart problems,
• Muscular tightness, backache and spondylitis (Gupta, 2002).
Effects on Behaviour and Relationships: Emotional problems have major effects
on behaviour as these destroy the reasoning capacity and intellect for the time
being. Bonds of friendship and love, which may have been developed over years,
can easily be destroyed (Gupta, 2002).
Regulating Negative Emotions
Awareness and Expression: Initial response to all the negative emotions requires
awareness and expression as follows:
1. First recognise the emotion, acknowledge it (no denial) and accept it without
trying to analyse it initially: ‘I am angry’.
2. Then, find the reason: ‘I am angry because a friend did not keep the appointment
made’.
3. Repression of negative emotions is more harmful than their expression because
the former is pushed into our subconscious or unconscious mind, from where it
subtly affects our mental functioning and behaviour (Gupta, 2002). If the
emotion is caused with reference to another person, express the emotion (no
repression) to that person in the following ways:
a. State the emotion that you feel in a self-responsible I-language. Say ‘I feel
anger’ instead of blaming the other person by saying ‘You made me angry’
(Alberti & Emmons, 1998).
b. Give the reason based on the actual behaviour and not its interpretation.
Avoid generalisation. Say ‘I feel anger because you did not meet our
appointment’ instead of ‘I feel anger because you always do this to me’.
c. Make a constructive request: ‘So next time, please call and let me know
whether you cannot make it’ (partly from Terre des Homes (TDH) 2008).
4. If the emotion is caused with reference to a situation, reflect and express it to
someone in the following ways:
a. State the emotion that you feel: say ‘I feel sad’.
b. Give the reason: ‘I feel sad because the rains spoiled the outdoor picnic that
we had planned’.
c. Make auto-suggestions of positive thinking: ‘We could not go for the out-
door picnic, but we can stay at home and play indoor games’.
All the negative emotions can be regulated by:

• Positive thinking about others or about the situation,
• Accepting reality, and
• Breathing exercises.
Accepting Reality: We need to expect reality of life even if it is different from our
expectations. We need to be comfortable with imperfection. When we let go our
expectations, when we accept life as it is, we are free (Carlson, 1997). Dryden’s
(1994) recommendations of ways to accept reality are as follows:
• Learn to accept self and others as they are,
• Acknowledge that the situation does exist,
• Tragedies can and do happen to all of us,
• Unfairness does exist in this world,
• Rate the tragedy/unfairness on a realistic scale of badness,
• Acknowledge that we dislike it,
• Develop a high frustration tolerance and change the ‘I can’t stand it’ attitude to
‘I don’t like it but I can stand it’ attitude, and
• Decide to take constructive action to try and change the situation.
When we accept that life is not fair, it makes us feel compassion for others and
ourselves. That will help us spend our energy in loving-kindness to improve the
situation for others and ourselves (Carlson, 1997). Stevens (1998) suggests that it is
important to replace the ‘fairness’ doctrine with the ‘happiness’ doctrine. Expecting
justice with reference to a calculation of what we have given with reference to what
we receive generally has little correspondence to outside reality. However, psy-
chological justice does prevail in the sense of lack of real intimacy and love in the
life of those who harm others. They are punished by their own anger and negative
beliefs, which torment them with conflict, anger and anxiety.
Breathing Exercises: The breathing exercises are very useful for regulating neg-
ative emotions as they bring a calming effect on the mind. These mainly comprise:
• Conscious breathing and
• Basic breathing methods (Saraswati, 2013).
Conscious Breathing: To start with, it is important to be aware of the breathing
process, its normal rhythm, by counting it and by being aware of its flow.
• Count the Breath: By counting your breath, you become aware of each breath.
• Be Aware of the Flow of the Breath: Focus on the flow of breath at the nostrils
and then at the nasal passages, the throat, the soft palate, the shoulders, the
chest, the diaphragm and the abdomen (Saraswati, 2013).
A smooth slow rhythm usually indicates a relaxed state of body and mind.
Irregular usually means tension. In anxiety, the breath is shallow and rapid; in anger,
short and forceful; in grief, arrhythmic and gasping; and in depression, sighing.
Conscious breathing, even without any control over it, induces a regular and relaxing
rhythm of breathing that has a calming effect on the mind (Saraswati, 2013).
Basic Breathing Methods: After learning to breathe consciously, it is important
to breathe completely. Most people breathe incorrectly, using only a small part of
their lung capacity. The breathing is then generally shallow, depriving the body of
adequate oxygen (Saraswati, 2008). There are three basic mechanisms of breathing,
discussed by Saraswati (2013) as follows:
• Clavicular/Shoulder Breathing: Clavicular or shoulder breathing takes very little
effort and is commonly performed during sedentary activities.
• Thoracic/Chest Breathing: Thoracic or chest breathing is required during
increased physical activity and is often associated with mental stress.
• Diaphragmatic/Abdominal Breathing
Diaphragmatic/Abdominal Breathing: Diaphragmatic or abdominal breathing
is deep breathing which is the most efficient type of breathing.
• Inhale fully. While breathing in, let the pelvis come forward and relax the
abdomen. Let it bulge on all sides.
• Take the attention to the diaphragm. While breathing in, it flattens and pushes
downward on the abdominal organs. While breathing out, it relaxes and moves
upward again.
• Place your right hand on the abdomen, just above the naval, and left hand on the
centre of the chest. You will feel your right hand moving up and down but your
left hand should not move.
Anger
Concept and Causes of Anger: Anger is a natural human emotion, and all of us
experience it from time to time, whether we express it or not (Alberti & Emmons,
1998). According to experts:
• Anger is caused by our fear, helplessness or inability to mentally cope with
some situation. Anger can overcome anxiety and fear and encourage us to take
actions we would never take otherwise. Such actions can be constructive or
destructive (Stevens, 1998).
• Anger can be linked to the need to be respected. It is a mobilisation of energy to
make things change or to solve a problem. It is turned towards the present in
order to foster change as soon as possible (TDH, 2008).
• Anger is our frustrated expectation based on our ‘should’’ beliefs. In order to
express anger, we have to justify it to ourselves first. So we reconstruct the
‘crime’ committed by the other person against us like a mental trial, we as the
judge, without allowing the other person to defend him/her. Then, we feel okay
at being angry with them (Brahm, 2005).
• In a fair trial, it is important to pause and let the other person defend him/her
(Brahm, 2005).
Forms of Anger: Forms of anger such as feeling exasperated, frustrated, provoked,

sore, annoyed and fed up are normal but need to be regulated. Feeling disgust,
furious, bitter or seething is unhealthy and needs to be prevented. If we have a
persistent problem with anger, it is unhealthy as then we either have important
underlying issues that we have not resolved or we are using emotional coping
methods that are ineffective (Stevens, 1998).
Regulating Anger: According to Gupta (2002), expressing anger in a healthy way
includes bringing the feelings out into the open through art or discussion or
role-play, etc. Physical activity can also be helpful when focused on the anger to
release pent-up energy or frustration (TDH, 2008). Jayaram and Lochan (2013)
recommend the following to control anger:
• Drink a glass of water when angry.
• Move out of the place where the incident occurred.
• Do some physical activities.
• Talk it out with the person and share how you feel about the hurt he/she has
caused you.
• Write down your feelings and read them to analyse if you are justified in getting
angry.
• Look at it as the weakness of that person and ignore.
• Remind yourself that you also make mistakes.
Jayaram, Basu, and Lochan (2013) suggest the following ways to deal with
anger:
• Learn to understand the other person’s point of view.
• Learn to forgive and forget.
• Try to look at your shortcomings than those of others.
• Start practicing yoga and meditation.
Alberti and Emmons (1998) made the following recommendations for dealing
with anger:
• ‘Schedule’ time for working things out. If you are able to do so spontaneously,
fine; if not, arrange a time with the other person to deal with the issue later.
• Work towards resolution of the problem.
Coping with Someone Else’s Anger: What do we do when someone is furious and
directing their full hostility at us? When a person is angry with us, we should not
indulge in logical arguments because he/she cannot appreciate our logic in an
emotional state. Do not get angry with the angry person as that would harm both of
you (Gupta, 2002). Alberti and Emmons (1998) recommend the following steps to
deal with someone else’s anger:
• Allow the angry person to vent the strong feelings.
• Respond only with acknowledgement and acceptance of the other person’s
feelings at first, for example, ‘I can see that you’re really upset about this’.
• Take a deep breath and try to stay as calm as possible.
• Offer to discuss a solution later giving the person time to cool off, for example,
‘I think we both need some time to think about this. I’d like to talk with you
about it in an hour/ tomorrow/ next week”.
• Admit when you are wrong, even in the face of insult.
• Assert yourself about the way the angry person is reacting.
• Make a short statement to bring the encounter to an end.
• Follow the conflict resolution approach.
Hurt
Understanding Hurt: According to experts:

• Hurt is pain caused by perceived injustice in a relationship in which we are
deeply involved. The extent of hurt depends upon the significance we attach to
the relationship. We need to understand why we get hurt so that we can avoid
getting hurt (Ford, 2006).
• When we are hurt, ‘why’, ‘how could it be’ and similar self-pitying responses
crowd the mind, which do not lead to the resolution of the problem, but only
keep us running in circles (TT Ranganathan Clinical Research Foundation, n.d.).
• If we confront the person who has hurt us, they will most likely get defensive,
not be able to hear us and even find something to blame us for. This keeps the
cycle of blame-resentment-defensiveness-transgression going (Carlson &
Bailey, 1997).
• Some of us carry a huge burden of hurts of the distant past. Pulled down by the
sheer weight of negative feelings, we cannot relate to the present (TT
Ranganathan Clinical Research Foundation, n.d.).
Left to itself, hurt heals over a period of time. However, people often do not
allow the hurt to be healed and hang on to it for the following reasons (Carlson &
Bailey, 1997):
• To Avoid Repetition of the Past: People mistakenly believe that refusing to
forgive another will help them avoid repeating the past. They often say that if
they forgive others they will get hurt again.
• To Avoid Condoning the Behaviour: People believe that if they forgive the
other person, they are in some way condoning what was done.
• To Motivate Change: People hold on to grudges because they think that the
anger gives them energy to change things in the future.
Letting Go and Forgiveness: According to experts:
• When someone has hurt us, we do not have to be the one who punishes them
(Brahm, 2005).
• It is better to let go of the heavy load of past resentments, not just for the sake of
others but also for our sake. Learning to forgive people, who hurt us, is the best
way to stop feeling victimised. The moment we stop blaming others, we are in a
position to take some action to improve things (Matthews, 1988).
• Forgiveness is a powerful tool to let go of the pain, making peace with your past
and getting on with your life. It helps you heal yourself by replacing anger with
understanding. Rather than thinking of the person who hurt you as bad, you may
begin to see that person as someone who was weak, sick, needy or ignorant and
direct good wishes towards the person (Ford, 2006).
• It implies giving love, understanding and acceptance where there has been hate,
resentment and disharmony. It means changing the attitude of disappointment
by cancelling expectations and allowing an attitude of unconditional love to
flow out to the person who disappointed us. It is a willingness to take respon-
sibility for oneself and to allow others to take responsibility for themselves
(Stauffer, 1998).
• The process of forgiving can be carried out mentally as well as by writing about
it (Ford, 2006).
• Brahm recommends positive forgiveness which includes appreciating the good
in the other person and tackling the root problem, which result in positive
changes in the other person.
Sadness
Understanding Sadness: Sadness is the emotional reaction to a sense of loss (Kalat

& Shiota, 2007). Sadness includes feeling discouraged, unhappy, low, bruised, dis-
appointed, hurt, ashamed, upset, guilty and gloomy. If we lose something or some-
one, it is natural to feel sad, and it may make us do something constructive about it.
However, if loss leads to the feelings of being depressed, defeated, devastated, empty,
worthless, hopeless, crushed and battered, it is unhealthy and needs to be prevented,
as it makes us feel helpless and stops us from being constructive (Dryden, 1994).
Sadness can be linked to the need to be comforted. People feel sad when they
lose someone or something important to them. Sadness helps us to accept what
cannot be changed, as it is the starting point for the grief process which has to
follow. Sadness is directed towards something that has happened in the past: the
loss has taken place, and the grief process has to start; the duration of the grief
process depends on each particular person and how they view the gravity of the loss
(TDH, 2008).
Brahm (2005) notes that when tragedies occur in our life, we go through the
following thoughts:
• It is not our fault so we wonder why this happened to me.
• We feel stuck with it, as even our near and dear ones cannot take it away.
• Its pain fills our whole life.
• When we continue to feel sad about it, our sadness brings more sadness to us
and to our near and dear ones.
Dealing with Sadness: Brahm (2005) recommends the following to deal with
sadness:
• Overcoming sadness is the work that we have to do for ourselves.
• We need to believe that ‘this too will pass’ and take nothing for granted.
• We need to welcome tragedies as fertilisers for life.
Fear and Anxiety
Understanding Fear and Anxiety: Fear and anxiety are similar experiences,
characterised by feelings of danger and a sense of being threatened. We experience
fear when the danger is directed towards a specific object or event. It is a response
to a perceived danger, either to oneself or to a loved one, and it subsides quickly
when the threat is gone. A moderate amount of fear of real dangers leads to
intelligent precautions. However, excessive fear is unhealthy as it becomes a barrier
in undertaking safe action and making use of opportunities (Kalat & Shiota, 2007).
Fear can be linked to the need to be reassured. It is directed towards the
immediate future to warn about approaching danger. A healthy reaction is to escape
in order to avoid the threat. Fear around an event in the past is a dysfunctional
feeling. The natural reaction can be to shake or tremble, to seek support and to ask
for help. It is important to realise when working with children that fear cannot be
rationalised. The only solution is to find out what the person needs in order to be
reassured. ‘I know you are afraid, how can I help you not to be scared?’ (TDH,
2008).
The following statements listed by Hay (2004) show how fear of the future can
be a barrier to behaviour:
• I might fail.
• They might reject me.
• I might get hurt.
• It might cost me money.
• Who knows where I might end up?
• I may lose my freedom.
• I might lose my friends.
For many young people, anxiety or nervousness is normatively associated with
developmental transitions. Children experience anxiety when separating from their
parents or when entering school for the first time. Adolescents experience anxiety
when moving from school to college (Rose & Fatout, 2003).
Dealing with Fear and Anxiety: Brahm (2005) noted that experiencing fear is
finding faults with the future. So staying in the present and being open to the
uncertainty of the future releases us from the prison of fear.
Activities
Activity 4.4: Exercise on Reflection on Personal Reaction to Emotional

Problems
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to become
aware of their reaction to emotional problems and develop healthy responses to
them.

1. Ask the participants to:
a. Reflect on what makes them feel sad/angry and feel like crying or fighting?
b. How frequently does this happen?
2. Ask them to identify a common emotional problem that you face and respond to
the questions asked in the Exercise on Personal Response to Emotional
Problems, given at the end of the module (adapted from the Counselling Center
of the University of Illinois, 1996):
3. Show Summary Chart 4.4 on Healthy Response to Anger-Provoking Situations
and discuss the health responses.
• Does the intensity of our feelings always match the situation?
• What reactive interpretations do we make which make us react more intensely
than necessary?
• Do we have proactive alternative ways for expressing our feelings? What are
they?
Activity 4.5: Small Group Discussion on Regulating Negative Emotions
awareness of negative emotions and learn the skills to regulate negative thinking
behind the negative emotions.

1. Divide the participants into four small groups to discuss the following questions
for (a) anger, (b) hurt, (c) sadness and (d) fear:
(1) What situations make me feel this emotion?
(2) How do I express this emotion?
(3) What effect my expression has on me, on the other person, our relationship
and the situation?
(4) What reactive thoughts make me feel this emotion? Is my thinking rigid,
irrational or negative?
(5) How can I reframe my reactive thinking to proactive thinking to prevent this
negative emotion?
(6) How can I express this emotion with self-responsible I-language, reason and
constructive request for behavioural change or auto-suggestions?
2. The small groups can prepare role-plays on expressing the negative emotions
constructively and present to the large group.
• Can we replace the external control of our emotions with internal control by
accepting reality?
• Does it help denying that the situation does exist?
• Don’t tragedies happen to all of us?
• How can we take constructive action to try and change the situation?
Activity 4.6: Story of the Tricks
to deal with emotional problems.
Procedure: Share the story of The Tricks with the participants or have them
role-play it:
Jaya was the only girl child in her family. She was so pampered by everyone that
when she grew up and went to school, she found it very difficult to adjust. She cried
at every little thing. She realized how weak she was and wanted to change. Her
father saw her discomfort and offered her three tricks to be emotionally strong. The
first trick was to eat a sweet less. The second trick was to study five minutes more.
The third trick was to count to five when frustrated with something. Jaya could not
believe that this would work. But when her mother offered her two sweets, she
hesitatingly took only one. That afternoon, she was about to get up after he studies,
and remembered the second trick and sat down for five minutes of more study.
When she bumped into the corner of her study table and fell down, she was about to
cry but counted up to five. She was surprised that after that she did not feel like
crying! She started applying the tricks in her school and soon she stopped crying at
small things in her school. (Krishnaswamy, 2013)
• Why did Jaya’s father advise her to take one sweet less and study five minutes
more?
• Why did he advise her to count up to five when frustrated with something?
• Why did these tricks work successfully with Jaya?

Activity 4.7: Breathing Exercises to Regulate Anger
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will learn the skills
of breathing exercises to regulate anger.

1. Ask the participants whether they have ever thought about how they breathe and
whether there is a right way of breathing.
2. Explain to the participants that cultivating the right breathing techniques can
help to release tension or stress and calm the body.
3. Begin with asking the participants to become aware of one’s breathing, the
inhalation and the exhalation.
4. Then, teach them the techniques of conscious breathing and the abdominal or
deep breathing.
• Did you find the breathing exercises useful?
• Did you observe any immediate changes after practising the basic breathing
exercises such as a sense of calmness?
• What are some of the challenges to including breathing exercises in one’s daily
lifestyle?
• How can these challenges be overcome?
Activity 4.8: Reflections on Forgiving and Letting Go of Hurt
importance and skills of forgiving and letting go of hurt.

1. Ask the participants to remember experiencing hurt by someone and feel the
emotions it aroused in them.
2. Ask them to reflect on the following questions and write the answers in their diary:
(1) Who has hurt me and how?
(2) How long have I carried the hurt?
(3) Has my feeling hurt helped the other person change?
(4) Who is suffering from the hurt?
(5) Can I replace hurt with understanding of the other person?
(6) Can I leave the responsibility of change to that person?
(7) Can I wish good for that person without any expectations?
(8) Can I mentally forgive that person and let go the hurt?
3. Share their thoughts with their partner if they feel comfortable doing so. The
partners may help each other understand the person who hurt, wish him/her
good and mentally forgive the person and throw away the negativity from their
present life. Those who are not comfortable sharing may carry out the process
by themselves.
• Why do we feel hurt most by persons closest to us?
• When do we carry the hurt for a long time?
• After expressing our hurt to the other person, can we understand their reasons
and mentally forgive them and let go of the hurt?
• If you can forgive and let go, how does it feel?
• What are the reasons for this being difficult? How can we overcome them?
Enrichment of Positive Emotions
Concepts of Enrichment of Positive Emotions
According to Fredrickson and Levenson (1998, cited in Fredrickson, 2000), posi-

tive emotions broaden an individual’s momentary thought–action repertoire, which
in turn can build that individual’s enduring personal resources, resources that also
served the ancestral function of promoting survival. By broadening the momentary
thought–action repertoire, positive emotions loosen the hold that negative emotions
gain on an individual’s mind and body by undoing the narrowed psychological and
physiological preparation for specific action. Love, joy and happiness are the main
types of positive emotions.
Love
Peck (1985) defined love as the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing
one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. The act of extending one’s limits implies
effort. When we love someone, our love becomes love only through our exertion. Love
is a total commitment to the security, satisfaction and well-being of another person.
Capacity to Love: According to Fromm (1956), most people see the problem of
love primarily as that of being loved rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to
love. Most people also have the attitude that the problem of love is the problem of
an object, not the problem of a faculty. People think that to love is simple, but that
to find the right object to love—or to be loved by—is difficult. However, according
to Fromm, love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude,

an orientation of character, which determines the relatedness of a person to the
world as a whole, not towards one object of love. When we put more efforts on
being a loving person, which is something in our control, we will anyway receive
more love, and love is its own reward (Carlson, 1997).
Unconditional Love: According to experts:
Unconditional love:
• Is allowing people to be where they are and loving them anyway (Matthews,
1988).
• It not only means acceptance, care, affirmation and the absence of comparison,
but also encouragement of behaviour that builds competence while keeping
behaviour and person separate. Problematic behaviours, whether they be of a
minor or serious nature, need to be confronted, and responsibility has to be
demanded but without threatening the relationship with the perpetrators of the
problematic behaviour (Humphreys, 2002).
• Some people are frustrating to spend time with as they are self-centred, have lots
of needs, are very demanding and are unreasonable in their attitudes. Yet, if we
can love them, they may feel our love, and it may bring out the best in them. Our
love can transform people and make them more lovable (Keith, 2001).
Joy
When we feel an intense pleasure in response to a particular event, the emotion we

feel is joy which is a basic emotion (Kalat & Shiota, 2007). Humour and laughter can
be effective self-care tools that provide quality of perception, which enables us to
experience joy even when faced with adversity (Humour an antidote to Stress, 1996).
Humour and Laughter: Humour gives us a different perspective on our problems
and with an attitude of detachment; we feel a sense of self-protection and control in
our environment. An ability to laugh at our situation or problem gives us a feeling
of superiority and power. Humour and laughter can foster a positive and hopeful
attitude. We are less likely to succumb to feelings of depression and helplessness if
we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Laughter provides an opportunity for
the release of uncomfortable emotions, which if held inside may create biochemical
changes that are harmful to the body (Humour an antidote to Stress, 1996).
According to Loomans and Kolberg (2002, p. 20), positively used, humour and
laughter have many benefits. Its physical benefits are enhanced immune system
functioning, acting as an internal massage and regulating blood pressure. It
enhances self-esteem, creative/critical thinking skills, communication skills, coping
skills and enthusiasm, confidence, optimism, joy and openness. Its social benefits
are it builds of a sense of team and reduces conflict. All these benefits result in
reduced stress and feeling good. They note that humour can also heal, affirm, uplift,
inspire and give joy to the other person through merriment or through wordplay.
Smith (2009) notes that the sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than
any cough, sniffle or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and
increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy and
amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humour
and laughter strengthen our immune system, boost our energy, diminish pain and
protect us from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is
fun, free and easy to use.
Smile: Joy can be expressed through smile which, in turn, leads to more happiness
for us and the people around us. Nierenberg and Calero (1975, cited in Lewis,
2000) described three very common smiles, the simple, the upper and the broad,
indicating increasing levels of joy:
• Simple Smile: This is when the teeth are not exposed. We generally wear the
simple smile when we are watching something interesting or pleasant but are not
physically involved in the action. We smile to ourselves.
• Upper Smile: This smile exposes the upper set of teeth. It is a friendly smile,
usually when we greet someone. It is accompanied by eye contact.
• Broad Smile: This smile exposes both sets of teeth and is usually accompanied
by laughter, often without eye contact.
Happiness
Happiness is the sense of contentment or general satisfaction with life. Since every
emotion is a reaction to a situation, whereas mood or affect is a general long-lasting
disposition not dependent on any single event, happiness is more a mood than an
emotion (Kalat & Shiota, 2007).
Happiness is born from the internal workings of our own minds. No other person
or external condition can make us happy or unhappy. We should not become overly
attached to any one particular goal, person, event or external condition. We need to
replace the external control with internal control. We control our own happiness by
our thoughts and actions. We need to overcome our greatest fear and learn that we
can be happy in any situation (Stevens, 1998). We cannot choose our external
circumstances, but we can always choose how to respond to them. Regardless of
what is going on around us, we need to make the best of what is in our control and
take the rest as it occurs. Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to
turn inward and invoke our strengths. We need to look beyond the event and form
the habit to put it to good use (Epictetus, 2003). Thus, positive thinking, that is,
acknowledgement and gratitude for the positive in oneself and others and in one’s
past, present and future, makes us happy.
Dalai Lama and Cutler (1998) say that happy people are sociable, flexible,
creative, loving and forgiving and are able to tolerate life’s daily frustration more
easily than unhappy people. They demonstrate a certain quality of openness and a
willingness to reach out to help others. Unhappy people are more self-focused and
often socially withdrawn, brooding and even antagonistic.
Activities
Activity 4.9: Capacity to Love
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will enrich the skills
of capacity to love.

(a) What do they mean by love?
(b) What are the different types of love?
(c) Who do we love?
(d) Can we develop the capacity to love?
2. Ask the participants to identify a person they love and list the loveable char-
acteristics of this person. When each shares the characteristics with the large
group, put them on the board. Ask them to reflect on the extent to which they
have these qualities. Discuss how they can enhance the following components
of their love:
(1) Understanding,
(2) Accepting,
(3) Respectful,
(4) Committed,
(5) Caring,
(6) Responsible.
• What are the qualities of a loving person?
• Is it more important to be a loving person or to find a loving person? Why?
• What are the advantages of being a loving person?
Activity 4.10: Is It Possible to Love Others Unconditionally?
awareness on unconditional love.
Procedure: Ask the participants to:

1. Think of a person whom they love. It could be a parent, a child or the spouse.
2. Reflect on the expectations they have from that person.
3. Reflect if the expectations are not met, would they still love them?
• Is unconditional love possible?
• Can we dislike behaviour and yet love the person?
• Can we stop comparing that person with others?
• Can our love make them loveable?
Activity 4.11: Sharing Joy
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will understand,
experience and share joy.

1. Ask the participants to respond to the following questions and write the
responses on the board:
(1) When do we feel joy?
(2) How do we express joy?
(3) What effect our expression has on us, the other person and our relationship?
2. Form pairs to share any joyous event from their life with each other.
• How did you feel when you shared the joyous event?
• How did you feel when you heard your partner shares the joyous event?
Activity 4.12: Smile Please
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to use the
skill of smiling as a tool of happiness.

1. Ask the participants whether they feel smiling is important and if yes, why.
2. Discuss the three types of smile: simple, upper and broad, their reasons and their
effects.
3. Ask the participants to smile their best as they are being photographed.
4. Give a homework activity to them to look at a mirror and smile at themselves.
5. The next day, ask questions on the homework given.
• How do you feel when you smile?
• Is smiling infectious? Smile at others, and they will automatically smile back at
you.
• Does smiling at self help to enhance self-esteem and happiness?
• Can we smile even at persons whom we do not like or who do not like us? What
would be its effect on them?
• Can we smile even when we are sad or angry? What would be its effect on us?
Activity 4.13: Laughter Club
laughter as a tool for experiencing joy.

1. Ask the participants whether they feel laughing is important and if yes, why.
2. Form pairs to share an event with each other when they laughed heartily.
3. Make the whole group laugh.
• Do we need to wait to be happy in order to laugh?
• Does only joy lead to laughter or does laughter also lead to joy?
Activity 4.14: Who Is in Charge of My Happiness?
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will understand that
our happiness is in our hands.

1. Ask the participants to share what they mean by happiness.
2. Form two groups of participants:
(1) Those who depend on others for their happiness and
(2) Those who are in charge of their own happiness.
3. The first group to discuss what others should do that would make them happy.
The second group to discuss what they do to make themselves happy.
4. Each group to share their discussion with the large group.
• How do those who are in charge of one’s own happiness be happy?
• How do those who depend on others for happiness be happy?
• Who is happier? Why?
Activity 4.15: Prescription for Happiness
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to find a
range of ways they can make themselves happy.

1. Create a happiness pharmacy which provides the following medicine:
• Develop connected self-identity,
• Develop unique self-identity,
• Increase self-esteem,
• Be assertive,
• Be proactive,
• Use realistic and flexible thinking,
• Use creative thinking,
• Take self-responsibility,
• Feel gratitude for what you have,
• Express gratitude to others,
• Make positive affirmations,
• Regulate negative emotions,
• Ask for forgiveness,
• Give forgiveness and let go,
• Practice unconditional love,
• Enhance joy and happiness,
• Use humour,
• Use smile,
• Use laughter.
2. Ask for two volunteers to role-play on being a sad patient and a happiness
doctor. The sad patient presents his/her sadness problem to the doctor for a
prescription to cure his/her sadness. Depending on the problem, the doctor
prescribes a happiness medication from the happiness pharmacy.
3. Participants form pairs and practice being the sad patient and the happiness
doctor alternately.
• How did you think when you acted as the happiness doctor?
• How did you feel when you got the prescription from the happiness pharmacy?


and ask the participants whether they think they have achieved the objective.

Summary Chart 4.1 Understanding emotions
Thinking: Emotion: Action:

Situation Negative/ Negative/ Negative/
Positive Positive Positive
Summary Chart 4.2 Functions of emotions

(Adapted from Koprowska, 2005)
Anger •Helps us to protect ourselves from

injusƟce through fighƟng
•Protects us from harm through

Fear
running away
•Necessary to survive and keep us

Joy
healthy
Summary Chart 4.3 Introduction to emotional intelligence
Emotional
Awareness in Self
& Expression
Emotional
Enrichment of Emotional Awareness in
Positive Emotions Intelligence Others or
Empathy
Regulating
Negative
Emotions
Summary Chart 4.4 Healthy response to anger-provoking situations

(Adapted from Gupta, 2002)
Anger-Provoking Situations Healthy Response

When someone does not Remain calm and do not
agree with us and criticises give any clarification.
us. Truth does not depend
upon people’s opinion
about us.
When people do not behave Everyone is unique and
according to our need not think and behave
expectations. same as us.
When someone or Take all obstacles in our
something becomes an path as opportunities to
obstacle in the path to meet grow and learn.
our desires.
When people do not stand Accept the reality that the
by the commitments and world is a mixture of good
promises they make to us. and bad people.
Exercise for Activity 4.4: Reflection on My Response to Emotional Problems

1 Does the intensity of my feelings
match the situation?
2 What interpretations or judgments

am I making about this event?
3 What are my options for expressing

my feelings?
4 What are the consequences of each

option for me?
5 What is the most suitable option for

me?
Exercise for Activity 4.8: Reflections on Forgiving and Letting Go
1) Who has hurt me and how?
2) How long have I carried the hurt?
3) Has my feeling hurt helped the other person change?
4) Who is suffering from the hurt?
5) Can I replace hurt with understanding of the other person?
6) Can I leave the responsibility of change to that person?
7) Can I wish good for that person without any expectations?
8) Can I mentally forgive that person and let go the hurt?

Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 7: Enrichment of Emotional Intelligence. In A Rights-Based
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Module 5
Sensitive Interpersonal Communication
Skills
The prerequisite modules for this module are:
• Self-Empowerment (Module 2)
• Proactive Thinking Skills (Module 3)
• Emotional Intelligence (Module 4)
Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Skills
A relationship is formed whenever reciprocal information processing occurs; that is,

when two or more individuals mutually take account of one another’s verbal or
nonverbal activities. Thus, interpersonal communication is the means, through which
relationships of all types are initiated, develop, grow and deteriorate (Ruben, 1988).
In short, it is a necessity for our development as social beings (Tubbs & Moss, 1980).
Interpersonal Communication
Communication involves:
• The person who generates a message (sender),
• The message (verbal or nonverbal),
• The channel through which the message is transmitted and
• The person who receives the message (receiver) (Tubbs & Moss, 1980).
This module is co-authored by Murli Desai and Sheetal Goel.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_5
130 5 Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills
At any given point of time, a person or a communicator may be the sender and
receiver, because when one is speaking, one is simultaneously observing the
behaviour of the other person and reacting to it. This is also true of the other person.
We constantly give and receive feedback that may be verbal or nonverbal. The
channels of interpersonal communication are the sensory organs. We simultaneously
make use of information from a number of different channels. We convey and
receive messages through speech/hearing, eyes, body and touch (Tubbs & Moss,
1980).
Communication is said to be effective when the sender’s intended message
corresponds closely with the receiver’s perceived message (Tubbs & Moss, 1980)
and the degree to which noise is overcome or controlled (Johnson & Johnson,
2009). Noise is any element that interferes with the communication process. It
could be:
• The attitude of the sender or the receiver, distracting body language or envi-
ronmental sounds (Johnson & Johnson, 2009).
• Technical interference refers to either a speech impediment on part of the sender
or the factors that cause the receiver to perceive distortion in the intended
information.
• In semantic interference, the receiver does not attribute the same meaning to the
message that the sender does (Tubbs & Moss, 1980).
According to Donn (2000), communication happens in the psychological, rela-
tional, situational, environmental and cultural context as given below:
• Psychological context which is who we are and what we bring to the inter-
action. Our needs, desires, values, personality, and so on, all form the psy-
chological context.
• Relational context which concerns our relations to the other person.
• Situational context deals with the psychosocial ‘where’ we are communicating.
• Environmental context deals with the physical ‘where’ we are communicating.
Examples of factors in the environmental context are furniture, location, noise
level, temperature, season and time of day.
• Cultural context includes all the learned behaviours and rules that affect the
interaction.
Interpersonal Communication Skills
According to Johnson and Johnson (2009), skills in sending messages for effective
communication include the following:
1. Clearly ‘own’ your messages by using the first person singular pronouns: ‘I’,
‘me’ and ‘my’.
2. Make your messages complete and specific.
3. Make your verbal and nonverbal messages congruent.

4. Make the message appropriate to the receiver’s frame of reference.
5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.
Thus, the interpersonal communication skills comprise of:
• Verbal communication skills
• Body language skills
• Listening skills
• Feedback skills
Activities
Introductory Activity 5.1: Game of Passing the Message
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to
understand interpersonal communication and its components of the sender, the
verbal message, the nonverbal behaviour and the receiver.

1. Prepare a chit with a sentence not exceeding 10–12 words and ask the partic-
ipants to sit in a circle.
2. A volunteer picks up a chit, reads it in his/her mind and whispers it to the person
seated on his/her right.
3. This person on the right then whispers it to the person on his/her right. This goes
on till the last person in the circle.
4. Participants should not repeat the sentence twice.
5. The last person speaks aloud the sentence that he/she has heard from the partner.
6. The volunteer who picked up the chit shares the original sentence aloud.
In a large group, two simultaneous groups can be made for the same game as
follows:
(1) By size: One large and one small group
(2) By type of message: One short and simple statement and one long and
complicated statement
(3) By language: One in the language familiar to the group and one in a new
language
(4) By subject: One on a familiar topic and one on an irrelevant topic
• Why did the message change so much?
• What role did the sender play?
• What role did the verbal component (language, length and familiarity) of the
message play?
• What role did the body language/nonverbal behaviour play?
• What role did the receiver play?
• What role did listening of the message play?
• What role did the size of the group play?
• If the listener was allowed to check the message with the sender, would the
effect be better?
• What did you learn about skills of effective communication?
a. Verbal Communication Skills
b. Body Language Skills
c. Listening Skills
d. Feedback Skills
Verbal Communication Skills
Verbal Communication
Verbal messages comprise of the language or words we use. A word is merely a

symbol of the object it represents. Meanings are not inherent in words. It is human
beings who assign meanings to words. As experiences of human beings change,
meanings change. People can have similar meanings only to the extent they have
had similar experiences. Meanings can have denotations and connotations.
Denotations refer to primary associations a word has for most members of a given
linguistic community. Connotations refer to other secondary associations a word
has for one or more members (Tubbs & Moss, 1980).
Communication and Culture
The collectivistic cultures use high-context communication that relies more heavily
on attention to contextual details and less on explicit language to transmit its
message. Messages are conveyed subtly to save the listener from embarrassment as
high value is placed on ‘saving face’. On the other hand, the individualistic cultures
use low-context communication that relies on clear, concrete and explicit language.
They favour instrumental communication that is task-oriented and focuses on
achieving the speaker’s goal. The collectivistic cultures on the other hand favour
affective communication that is person-oriented and focuses on building and

maintaining good relations between the communicators (Hamilton, 2007,
pp. 294–297).
Hamilton (2007, pp. 296–297) identifies another cultural variation that can be
seen with reference to the quantity of words considered appropriate by a culture:
Elaborate, exacting and succinct communication styles.
• The elaborate communication style uses many words to convey its message and
is very colourful and expressive.
• The succinct communication style is understated language that says very little
and relies on the listener to understand the unspoken meaning, similar to the
high-context language. Silence is highly valued in these cultures, and those who
talk a lot may be suspected of being dishonest.
• The exacting communication style is clear and specific language that states the
facts, no more, similar to the low-context communication.
Protective Versus Open Communication Skills
We often use judgmental, controlling, superior and certain communication patterns

that are aggressive and used to protect one’s ego. Open communication is non-
judgmental, permissive, spontaneous, empathic, equal and provisional. Such
communication is essential for the fulfilment of goals of the individual and the
relationship. It is a way of communicating where each person experiences open-
ness, intimacy and understanding with the other and where what is discussed is
relevant and appropriate to each other’s personal growth and the development of
the relationship (Humphreys, 2002).
Non-Discriminatory Language
Open communication requires the use of non-discriminatory language. Our lan-

guage may tend to reflect our biases or stereotypes on the basis of gender, ethnicity,
disability or age, either intentionally or accidentally. This should be avoided and
replaced with non-discriminatory language. Consider some of the following
examples:
• It is a common practice to talk in terms of male-specific words in the generic
sense almost denying the existence of the female species. Instead, it is preferable
to use terms such as ‘human beings’, ‘humankind’, ‘women and men’, ‘persons’
and ‘individuals’, instead of the term ‘men’.
• An ethnic group should not be trivialised by describing it with words such as
‘culturally backward’.
• It is advisable to describe the situation of people instead of using words that
label them. Some examples are given in Summary Chart 5.2.
Activities
Activity 5.2: Cultural Variation in Verbal Communication
cultural variation in verbal communication.

1. Ask the participants if communication, in the same language, varies from culture
to culture and why. Write the responses on the board.
2. You act as a young man/woman in financial difficulty, who asks his/her cousin
for help. Ask a participant to volunteer as the cousin.
3. You demonstrate communication in three cultural styles of communication as
follows:
• The elaborate communication style that uses many words to convey its
message and is very colourful and expressive.
• The succinct communication style that is understated language that says very
little and relies on the listener to understand the unspoken meaning, similar
to the high-context language. Silence is highly valued in these cultures and
those who talk a lot may be suspected of being dishonest.
• The exacting communication style that is clear and specific language that
states the facts, no more, similar to the low-context communication.
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the elaborate communication
style?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the succinct communication
style?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the exacting communication
style?
• What communication style do you practice?
• Why is it better to express rather than expect?
Activity 5.3: Role-Plays on Open Communication
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will develop the
skills of open communication which is nonjudgmental, permissive, spontaneous,
empathic, equal, provisional and non-discriminatory.

1. Show Summary Chart 5.1 to introduce the protective versus open communi-
cation skills.
2. Divide the participants into seven small groups and ask each group to discuss
one of the following types of verbal communication:
(1) Discriminatory versus non-discriminatory language: ‘Servant’ versus ‘do-
mestic worker’
(2) Judgmental versus nonjudgmental language: ‘Idiot, you are wrong’ versus
‘My friend, I have a different opinion’
(3) Controlling versus permissive language: ‘You are not going for picnic today
as it is raining heavily’ versus ‘There may be problems on the way if you go
on a picnic when it is raining so heavily’
(4) Strategic versus spontaneous language: ‘I have a great idea! We will first
come to your home to play and then go to my home’ versus ‘I would like us
to come to your home to play as you have a new computer game’.
(5) Neutral versus empathic language: ‘Since your mother passed away last
week, this week you need not bunk school’ versus ‘I can understand that
you do not still feel like coming to school but if you do your mind will get
diverted with new learning with your friends’
(6) Certain versus provisional language: ‘My uncle is having an affair with his
secretary’ versus ‘I have heard that my uncle is having an affair with his
secretary but I have no reason to believe so’.
3. Each group may prepare role-plays on their topic and present to the large group.
4. Show Summary Chart 5.2 and discuss the use of discriminatory versus
non-discriminatory Language.
• When do we use protective communication with others? What are its implica-
tions on self and others?
• When do we use open communication with others? What are its implications on
self and others?
Body Language Skills
Concepts of Body Language
Lewis (2000, p. 21) defines body language as the communication of personal

feelings, emotions, attitudes and thoughts through body movements—gestures,
postures, facial expressions, walking styles, positions and distance—either con-
sciously or involuntarily, more often subconsciously, and accompanied by the
spoken language. He cites Mehrabian’s (1971) finding that if the verbal, voice and
nonverbal elements are consistent, the message is effective. If the elements are
inconsistent, the impact is as follows:
7% is verbal (the words or the message),
38% is voice (intonation, projection and resonance of the voice) and
55% is nonverbal (or body language).
Much of our time is spent in learning to speak and write a language, but much
less attention is paid to nonverbal aspects of communication. According to
Michelson, Sugai, Wood, and Kazdin (1983), an important part of being a skilled
communicator is being able to use nonverbal signals to illustrate or emphasise what
is being said.
Functions of Body Language
According to Michelson et al. (1983), nonverbal cues help to provide feedback and
information exchange between people in addition to conveying the affect and
intensity of the verbal message. Researchers have found that nonverbal commu-
nication plays an important role in guiding interactions and in defining relationships
among people. Thus, it is easy to understand how deficient nonverbal skills can
affect not only the content of what is said but also the flow of conversation. Lewis
(2000) lists the following functions of body language:
• Supplement, repeat, reinforce or even contradict the verbal message
• Substitute for words
• Express emotions
• Regulate interaction
• Indicate status relationships
Nonverbal Cues
The different nonverbal cues as pointed out by Ruben (1988) include paralanguage,
appearance, gesture, touch, use of space and use of time, as described below:
Paralanguage: Refers to any cues created in the process of verbalising other than
the words themselves. For example, sniffs, sneezes, pitch, rate of speech, nasality,
accents, pauses and even silence. These help to interpret the content of the verbal
message, speaker’s educational background, interest in the topic, level of comfort,
self-concept, personality, mood and the nationality or region of the country to
which the person belongs. For example, on the basis of pitch, one can determine
whether a particular utterance is a statement or a question, a serious comment or a
sarcastic remark.
Appearance: We often form our first or initial impressions based on appearances
that comprise of face, eyes, physique, dress and adornment. Facial expressions are a
rich source of the emotional state of the person. Eye contact serves as a signal of
readiness to interact and the absence of such contact whether accidental or inten-
tional reduces the likelihood of such interaction. However, cultural factors such as
gender and hierarchy strongly govern the rules of eye contact. Dress and adorn-
ments such as cosmetics, jewellery, eyeglasses, tattoos, hairstyles, footwear, or
carrying a purse, radio, newspaper, briefcase, credit cards and cell phone, are a basis
for judgment of gender, age, personality, approachability, financial well-being,
class, taste, values and cultural background.
Gestures: Movement of the head, body, arms, legs or feet play an important role in
communication. They can be used as substitutes or complements for language (for
example, nodding of head instead of saying yes and so on) and may convey
messages with a particular purpose, or those that are incidental or unintended.
Touch: Levels of contact and comfort with touching vary according to cultures.
Use of Space: Intensity of tactile messages often depends on the well-defined
expectations that we have about the invasion of our personal space. Edward Hall
(cited in Ruben, 1988) has suggested the following categories of use of space:
• For intimate conversations and relations, space between individuals varies
between zero and eighteen inches;
• While engaging in casual or personal discussions, the space is eighteen inches to
four feet;
• Informal and business conversations takes place between four and twelve feet
apart; and
• In a public setting, the space between individuals ranges from twelve feet to the
limits of visibility.
According to Hall cited in Ruben (1988), fluctuations with each category depend
on various factors such as the age, gender and culture of the individuals, nature of
the relationship, topic of discussion, setting and so on.
Use of Time: We often communicate through use of time; for example, keeping up
with assignments/appointments on time, promptly replying to letters, phone calls,
emails and so on. Reaching on time implies the eagerness and discipline of the
person while being late may refer that a person is not serious and so on.
Modes of Body Language
John Mole (1999, cited in Lewis, 2000) gives graphic descriptions of the four basic
modes of body language as below.
Open: These are gestures indicating ‘open’ attitudes—open palms, open arms, open
body; face-to-face body direction.
Closed: Into this category fall the most obvious gestures and postures, such as
crossed arms, crossed legs and body turned away.
Forward: This involves postures that indicate a person is active in the communi-
cation process. He/she leans forward, feet firmly planted on the ground; points
towards you when he/she actively accepts or rejects a message.
Back: This indicates leaning-back postures, staring at the ceiling, doodling or
cleaning one’s glasses, signalling whether the person is passively absorbing or
ignoring the message.
One can find combinations of these posture groups in four basic modes, as
follows:
Open-Forward: The responsive mode that shows active acceptance.
Open-Back: The reflective mode that shows interest and receptivity, but no active
acceptance.
Closed-Back: The fugitive mode that shows an attempt to escape, either physically
out the door or mentally into boredom.
Closed-Forward: The combative mode that shows active resistance (Mole, 1999,
cited in Lewis, 2000).
Activities
Activity 5.4: Can Actions Speak Louder Than Words?
of using and interpreting body language to supplement the verbal language.
1. Ask the participants if we can give messages without speaking words.
2. Give verbal instructions and ask the participants to follow your gestures. Use
gestures that are not congruent with the verbal instructions. For example, ask
them to touch their nose but you touch your ear. Most of the participants will
follow your gestures rather than your verbal instructions.
3. Alternately or in addition, other demonstrations of body language dominating
verbal language may be carried out. For example, saying you are happy to meet
someone but without a smile, sitting at a distance while giving condolence to a
bereaved colleague.
4. Demonstrate gestures that convey negative perception and feelings to others that
should be avoided.
5. Ask volunteers to demonstrate gestures that convey positive perception and
feelings to others that need to be promoted.
6. Demonstrate the following modes of communication:
(1) Open-Forward: The responsive mode of communication;
(2) Open-Back: The reflective mode of communication;
(3) Closed-Back: The fugitive mode of communication and

(4) Closed-Forward: The combative mode of communication.
7. Show the Summary Chart 5.3 to discuss the difference between verbal and body
language.
• What is body language?
• What are the different cues for understanding body language?
• What are the implications of body language?
• What is the difference between body language and verbal language?
• How can we make our body language congruent with our verbal language?
Sensitive Listening Skills
Barriers in Listening
Following are some of the common barriers to listening:

(a) Selective listening: Listening and responding to only the part of the conver-
sation that interests us.
(b) Word listening: Paying attention to the words but not paying attention to the
body language or the feelings behind the words.
(c) Interrupting: Saying something else or reacting without letting the person
complete one’s saying.
(d) Predicting: Predicting what the speaker is trying to say or finishing their
sentences or putting words in the mouth of the speaker robbing them of the
opportunity to express themselves.
(e) Frozen evaluation or prejudgment: Blocking in listening due to an earlier
assessment of the speaker.
(f) Passiveness: Not responding, spacing out, looking away, yawning, fidgeting,
looking at one’s watch or pretending to be listening, but being caught up in
our own thoughts.
(g) Me too syndrome: Responding about oneself rather than the person who is
talking, projecting one’s own biography.
(h) Being defensive: Being defensive when the speaker’s ideas are different than
ours.
(i) Denial and Contradicting: Denial of the speaker’s feelings and insisting on a
contradictory opinion.
(j) Judging and instant advice: Making judgments and instant advising, con-
veying that one knows more than the other person.
(k) Pity: Expressing pity to the speaker undermining his/her self-esteem.
Sensitive Listening Skills
Steps to Effective Listening: There are four basic steps to effective listening:
hearing, attending, understanding and responding:
1. Hearing: Hearing requires the speaker to speak clearly and the listener to hear
clearly and the distance between the two to be adequate for the communication
to take place.
2. Attending: Attending is paying attention to what the speaker is saying. It
requires our interest in attending and lack of distractions.
3. Understanding: Understanding involves attending to not just what the speaker
is saying but also to the nonverbal aspect and the context of the message.
Sometimes the message may be too complicated to understand (Hamilton,
2007).
4. Responding: Responding includes asking questions, probing, paraphrasing and
responding with empathy.
Body Language: Covey (1997) points out that one should listen not only with ears,
but also with eyes and most importantly with the heart with the intent to understand,
not just the words that are spoken but also the body language that conveys feelings.
Gerard Egan, 1986 (cited in Burnard, 1994), has suggested a simple acronym
‘SOLER’ for the body language that enhances listening skills. The acronym stands
for the following:
‘S’: Sit Squarely in relation to the person you are listening to.
‘O’: Maintain an Open relaxed position.
‘L’: Lean slightly towards the person who is speaking.
‘E’: Maintain reasonable Eye contact.
‘R’: Relax while listening.
Sensitive Listening: Following are some more suggestions to enhance sensitive
listening:
(a) Just listen: Allow the speaker to complete speaking and listen with interest
and intent to understand. Do not rush or get preoccupied with replying. Often a
person reaching out to us may not particularly want answers/solutions to
his/her problems, but may simply want to be heard out.
(b) Observe body language: Read nonverbal cues and try to understand.
(c) Paraphrase: Paraphrasing is the act of restating what another person has said.
According to Shebib (2003), paraphrasing involves restating the other person’s
thoughts in your own words to clarify the essence of what he or she has said.
(d) Express understanding and acceptance: Restate or interpret the speaker’s

ideas and feelings in our own words, instead of repeating their exact words.
Allow others to have their own opinions even if one does not agree.
(e) Probe: Listen to the answers the other person gives you and ask extra
‘probing’ questions to express concern. Use the five helping words to help you
think up questions to ask: what, when, how, why and who (Interagency
Modular Training Package, 2008).
(f) Empathise: According to Shebib (2003), avoid cut offs such as ‘don’t feel’ or
‘you should feel’ or ‘this is not important’ inhibit further expression of
feelings.
(g) Preserve and promote self-esteem: Preserve their self-esteem even if we
think they have made a mistake. Promote their self-esteem by reminding them
of their strengths. Give opinion or suggestions only if asked or ask before
giving opinion or suggestions.
Activities
Activity 5.5: Role-Plays on Sensitive Listening Skills
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to:
1. Identify barriers in our listening patterns; and
2. Learn sensitive listening skills.
1. Ask the participants if they think listening is important and why.
2. Demonstrate barriers in listening through a role-play on a situation related to
two classmates where one has a problem at home and wants to share with his/her
friend.
• What was wrong in the first role-play?
• In what different ways do we display insensitive listening?
• What was the listener’s body language?
• When are we insensitive in listening?
• What effect does insensitive in listening have on the person talking?
4. Ask volunteers to demonstrate sensitive listening skills for the same situation.
5. Show Summary Chart 5.4 to discuss insensitive versus sensitive listening.
• How was the second role-play different?
• What are sensitive listening skills?
• Was the listener hearing? How?
• Was the listener attending? How?

• Was the listener trying to understand? How?
• Was the listener responding? How?
• What was the listener’s body language?
• What effect did it have on the person talking?
Feedback Skills
Giving and receiving positive and negative feedback is an essential aspect of all
interpersonal communication and an imperative to be able to grow in our rela-
tionships with people.
Negative Feedback Skills
Giving Negative Feedback: According to Humphreys (2002), we often give

negative feedback to the other person indirectly and/or unclearly:
• In indirect but clear expression, the person for whom the request or statement is
intended is not directly addressed, for example ‘Nobody loves me in this house’.
• The direct but unclear communication is typified in the ‘you’ messages, which
say nothing about the sender of the message, for example ‘You are always
shouting’. They also judge or blame the other person, which generally leads the
other person to withdraw or attack back.
• Cynicism and sarcasm typify indirect and unclear communication, for example
‘Looks like I’m not your real son’.
We need to learn to express our needs directly and clearly. It requires directly
addressing the intended person, ‘I’ language, declaration of how we feel and clear
expression of our needs (Humphreys, 2002). Cornelius and Faire (2006, pp. 80–83)
note that an I-statement tells the other person how we see the situation, without
blaming and without demanding that the other person change. They recommend
that it includes describing the behaviour, the resulting problem/feelings and the
future as follows:
• We need to describe the facts of the behaviour that bothers us and not interpret it
with reference to its motive; for example, ‘Who are you to shout at me…’ can be
reframed as ‘When you shout at me in front of my friends…’.
• We have the right to feel the way we do but not blame others for the same. For
example, ‘You humiliate me’ can be reframed in an I-statement as ‘I am hurt’.
• Our preferred approach for future can be constructively stated as ‘I would

appreciate you telling me what you do not like after my friends leave’ instead of
‘You better not talk to me in this language’.
The act of giving negative feedback can be carried out in the form of requesting
behaviour change of another person. In most cases, this can be mutually beneficial.
The person who makes the request may be able to change an uncomfortable situ-
ation, and the person of whom change is requested receives necessary feedback
(Michelson et al., 1983).
Receiving Negative Feedback: When attacked with criticism, especially personal,
most humans get defensive. However, it is to our advantage to turn around the
criticism and make it into a useful feedback. According to Ricucci (2001), we can
practice handling criticism more effectively as follows.
• Try to remain as calm as possible when sensing an ‘onset’ of criticism. Do not
tense up or get bristled before it is delivered. The reason you have to be this
calm is when it is your turn to talk and accept the criticism or answer any
questions regarding the criticism, you will look like a rational, cool-headed
individual with a good head on your shoulders.
• Try not to cut the person off with excuses or explanations right away. Hear the
person out. You may want to start thinking of a couple of comments to back
yourself up, but not defensive or excuses.
• It is a good thing to remember to accept the persons’ viewpoint and thank them
for what they have just told you. Remember that you are the one benefitting
from the insight of the criticism.
• If the criticism is based on false assumptions, thank the person for the advice
and apologise for conveying something that was not meant to. However, state
the facts in the right perspective.
Positive Feedback Skills
Giving Positive Feedback: According to experts:

• Dryden (1994) noted that we often do not communicate our appreciation to
others either because they have not communicated their appreciation to us, or
because we feel they already know how good they are, or we are just not used to
giving compliments.
• According to Humphreys (2002), in any social interaction or relationship, it
tremendously helps to communicate to others what we like about, both, them
and what they have done. However, it is important that the positive feedback
given is genuine, unconditional and without ulterior motives.
• Brahm (2005) notes that without positive feedback the good qualities in the
other person wither and die. It is necessary not only to encourage the good
qualities in them, but also to enrich our relationship and create happiness.
• Alberti and Emmons (1998) recommend expressing positive feedback by a

warm, firm and extended handshake, a warm smile and extended eye contact,
and/or words such as I’m glad to see you, I respect you, I understand what you
mean, I will be there, count on me, may be you are right, thank you, I appreciate
your thoughtfulness, it is very nice of you, I like what you did and I trust you.
Receiving Positive Feedback: Accepting appreciation is difficult if we are not
feeling good about ourselves. Nevertheless, it is an assertive act and mutually
enhancing to accept praise from another person (Alberti & Emmons, 1998). It could
be expressed by words such as Thank you for your kind words and It is nice of you
to say that.
Activities
Activity 5.6: Role-Plays on Giving and Receiving Negative Feedback
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn:
1. The skills of giving negative feedback directly and clearly requesting behaviour
change; and
2. The skills of receiving negative feedback without being defensive.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by feedback skills and why. Write the
responses on the board.
2. Take an example of a situation when the father shouts at the adolescent son for
bringing home friends late at night and the son shouts back. Ask for a volunteer
to act as the son.
3. You act as the father and give the negative feedback to the son indirectly and
unclearly and the son shouts back, escalating the situation into a quarrel.
• When do we talk indirectly?
• Why do we tend to use ‘you’ language and exaggerate while giving negative
feedback?
• What effect does it have on the giver?
• What effect does it have on the receiver?
• What effect does it have on the relationship between the giver and the
receiver?
5. Ask for volunteers from the participants to act as the father and give direct
negative feedback to the son, in ‘I’ language, based on the facts, and requesting
him for behaviour change. Use Summary Chart 5.5 to summarise how to give
effective negative feedback.

• What are the skills of giving direct and clear negative feedback and
requesting behaviour change?
• What effect does it have on the relationship between the giver and the
receiver?
7. Ask the son to demonstrate the skills of receiving negative feedback, assertively
and with self-responsibility.
• What are the skills of receiving negative feedback, assertively and with
self-responsibility?
• What effect does it have on the relationship between the giver and the receiver?
Activity 5.7: Activities on Positive Feedback
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn:
1. The skills of giving genuine and unconditional positive feedback by commu-
nicating appreciation to others; and
2. The skills of accepting positive feedback from others.
Procedure: Select one or more of the following activities to practice skills of
genuine and unconditional positive feedback.
(1) Ask the participants to stand in a circle. Start by communicating appreciation
to the person standing on your right-hand side. He/she does the same to the
person standing on his/her right-hand side and it continues till the circle is
complete and you receive the communication of appreciation. The receivers
thank but not return a compliment immediately after receiving one (Adapted
from ‘I Appreciate: A Validation Exercise’ from Elkins, 1983, p. 106). They
can also respond by saying ‘I appreciate your thoughtfulness’, ‘It is very nice
of you’ or ‘I like what you said’.
2) Give each participant a paper plate on which they should write their name and
then have it pinned up on their back. Each participant writes a compliment on
the plate of each of the others (adapted from ‘Have a Hand’ from Energize,
1991).
1. What are the skills of giving positive feedback?
2. How can we give positive feedback by body language?
3. What are the skills of receiving positive feedback?
4. How can we show appreciation for positive feedback by body language?
5. What effect does it have on the giver?
6. What effect does it have on the receiver?
7. What effect does it have on the relationship between the giver and the receiver?
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will ascertain if they
have achieved the learner objectives.

Summary Chart 5.1 Protective versus open communication skills

(Adapted from Humphrey, 2002)
Protective Communication Open Communication

•Judgmental •Non-Judgmental
•Controlling •Permissive
•Superior •Equal
•Strategic •Spontaneous
•Neutral •Empathic
•Certain •Provisional
Summary Chart 5.2 Discriminatory versus non-discriminatory language

Discriminatory Non-Discriminatory
Language Language
servant domestic worker
aged elderly/older persons
delinquent child in conflict with law
disabled person with disability
illegitimate born out of wedlock
divorcee person after divorce
prostitute woman in prostitution
street child broken children in street situation
family single-parent family
Summary Chart 5.3 Difference between verbal and body language

(Adapted from Hamlin, 1988, cited in Lewis, 2000)
Verbal Language Body Language

• Creates 45% impact • Creates 55% impact
• Words are at the head level. • Non-verbal language is at the
feeling or gut level.
• Words are symbols which • We feel the meaning of non-
one has to translate mentally verbal language rather than
into meaning. think about it.
• Words can be edited and • Body language is spontaneous.
controlled through training. Its message is more truthful and
We choose what we wish to genuine.
express.
• Words are specific and • Body language needs
express concrete ideas and interpretation depending on
facts. As symbols, they call background and culture.
forth the same images for all
of us.
• It is convenient to describe • Body language expresses
and explain things with feelings in a more economical
words, but it is not possible way, and can be more direct
to comprehend the depth of and eloquent than verbal
feelings through words alone. language.
• Words differ according to • Body language has universally
language, class, level of understood meanings.
accomplishment, education,
and social status.
Summary Chart 5.4 Insensitive versus sensitive listening
Insensitive Listening Sensitive Listening

• Selective listening • Full listening
• Word listening • Observe body
language
• Interrupting • Attending
• Predicting • Paraphrasing
• Frozen evaluation or • Asking questions
prejudgment
• Passiveness • Active
• Me too syndrome • Understanding
• Being self-defensive • Concern
and self-denial
• Contradicting • Accepting
• Judging and instant • Promote self-esteem
advice
• Pity • Empathy
Summary Chart 5.5 Giving ineffective versus effective negative feedback
Ineffective Negative Effective Negative

Feedback Feedback
• Indirect • Direct
• “You” language • “I” language
• Exaggerated • Based on facts
• Demand behaviour change • Request behaviour change
Acknowledgements This module is adapted from the following chapter by Murli Desai and
Sheetal Goel. Chapter 9: Enrichment of Interpersonal Communication Skills. In M. Desai.
A Rights-Based Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg:
Springer, Series on Children’s Well-Being: Indicators and Research.
References
House.
Brahm, A. (2005). Who ordered this truckload of dung?: Inspiring stories for welcoming life’s
difficulties. Boston: Wisdom Publications.
Burnard, P. (1994). Counselling skills for health professionals. London: Chapmen and Hall.
Donn, C. (2000). Four principles of interpersonal communication. Retrieved from www.pstcc.cc.
tn.us/facstaff/dking/interpr.htm.
Elkins, D. P. (1983). Teaching people to love themselves. A leader’s handbook of theory and
technique for self esteem and affirmation training. Princeton: Growth Associates.
Energize, (1991). Energize. Granville: Quest International.
An Interagency Modular Training Package. (2008). Introduction to child protection in
emergencies: Author.
Lewis, H. (2000). Body language: A guide for professionals. New Delhi: Response Books.
Ricucci, R. (2001). Utilizing constructive criticism. Retrieved from www.ga.essortment.com/
constructivecri_revy.htm.
Ruben, B. D. (1988). Communication and human behaviour. New York: MacMillan Publishing
Co., Inc.
Tubbs, S. L., & Moss, S. (1980). Human communication. New York: Random House.
Module 6
Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship
Skills
• Self-Empowerment (Module 2);
• Proactive Thinking Skills (Module 3);
• Emotional Intelligence (Module 4); and
• Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills (Module 5).
Introduction to Interpersonal Relationship Skills
The evolution and survival of our species are intimately intertwined with our ability
to initiate, develop and stabilise our relationships with other people. All members of
our society are highly interdependent and, therefore, need to be skilled in building
and maintaining relationships with each other (Johnson, 1986). An interpersonal
relationship is a relationship based on personal interaction, for example, relation-
ships between family members, friends, neighbours and colleagues. Interpersonal
skills require enhanced self-identity and self-esteem, proactive, rational, realistic,
flexible, creative and positive thinking skills and emotional intelligence.
The interpersonal relationship skills comprise of the following:
• Positive perception of others;
• Positive feelings for others;
• Win-win goals in relationships;
• Requirements of close relationships;
• Interpersonal communication skills (covered in the previous module); and
• Collaborative conflict management skills.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_6
152 6 Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills
Activities
Introductory Activity 6.1: Whose Balloon?
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will get introduced
to the concept, importance and requirements of collaborative interpersonal
relationships.

1. Ask the participants:
a. What is relationship?
b. Why is it important?
c. What are relationship skills?
d. Have they faced problems in relationships?
2. Give each participant a balloon and ask them to write their names on it and
keep in a room. From all the balloons in the room, ask the participants to find
their own balloon within five minutes which is not possible as it gets chaotic.
Now each one was asked to pick up the first balloon they come across and
give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes every-
one had their own balloon. (Adapted from ‘Find your own Balloon’ of
Funzug.com, http://www.funzug.com/index.php/inspirational/find-your-own-
balloon.html)
• Why are we so focused on what we want?
• How meeting each other’s needs lead to success?
• Can we live happily if all our individual needs are met but our relationships
are unhappy?
• What do we need to do for enriching our relationships?
4. Introduce Summary Chart 6.1 to discuss what collaborative interpersonal rela-
tionship skills comprise.
• Positive perception of others;
• Positive feelings for others;
• Win-win goals in relationships;
• Requirements of close relationships;
• Collaborative conflict management skills; and
• Application of collaborative interpersonal relationship skills to friendship
skills.
Positive Perception of Others
For enrichment of interpersonal relationships, we need to perceive others as equal,

recognise their strengths and celebrate the differences with them.
Egalitarian Perception
Cornelius and Faire (2006) noted that we all operate in a variety of power relation-
ships, such as male–female, parent–child, teacher–student and employer–employee.
According to them, those in power can play the role of a persecutor or a rescuer. The
persecutors use coercive power or aggression to silence opposition, whereas the
rescuers use manipulative power by offering unwelcome or uninvited help. Both need
victims, those who are either genuine victims and those who play the role of victims.
These relationships are based on perception of inherent physical and mental inca-
pability, based on sex, age and class of individuals and/or groups. These power
relationships justify role stereotypes, hierarchy, intolerance, and discrimination and,
thereby, justify violence. An egalitarian approach values equity and equality,
non-hierarchy, non-discrimination and non-prejudicial approach to all human beings.
Person-Centred and Strengths-Based Perception
The person-centred approach is based on concepts from humanistic psychology,

many of which were articulated by Carl Rogers in the early 1940s (Corey, 2005). In
the person-centred approach, people are perceived as having the following:
• Worth and dignity in their own right and, therefore, deserve respect;
• Ability to select their own values;
• Ability to learn to make constructive use of responsibility;
• Capacity to deal with their own feelings, thoughts and behaviour;
• Capacity and right to self-direction and, when given the opportunity, make wise
judgements; and
• Potential for constructive change and personal development towards a full and
satisfying life (Thompson & Henderson, 2007).
According to Saleeby (2006), every individual, group, family and community
has strengths that are assets, resources, wisdom and knowledge. The strengths-
based approach implies the following:
• Recognising uniqueness and strengths in everyone and respecting their
self-esteem;
• Understanding and accepting limitations of others; and
• Celebrating differences with others.
The major principles of the strengths perspective, identified by Saleeby (2006),

include the following:
• Assume that we do not know the upper limits of the capacity to grow and
change and take individual, group and community aspirations seriously;
• Every environment is full of resources such as informal systems and associa-
tions, groups and institutions; and
• Trauma and abuse, illness and struggle may be injurious but they may also be
sources of challenge and opportunity.
See Summary Chart 6.2 for examples of recognising strengths instead of faults
in people around us. In the strengths-based approach, it is also important that we
communicate our appreciation to the other person with words such as I appreciate
your thoughtfulness, it is very nice of you, I like what you did, and I trust your
determination.
Acceptance and Respect
Acceptance is a non-judgemental attitude, manifested by behaving in a manner that

shows respect and concern for others, regardless of behaviour. It means giving
others freedom to be themselves, to express themselves freely (adapted from
Kadushin & Kadushin, 1997). Respect to others is shown as follows:
• Respect them as equal;
• Respect their right to their own opinion;
• Respect their decisions; and
• Respect their values and experience (Cornelius & Faire, 2006).
Celebration of Differences
A relationship, by definition, has to be between two different persons who have

physical, mental, emotional and other differences. Most of the time, we are so
convinced that ours is the best way of living that we cannot accept persons who are
living differently than us. So we often expect others to be exactly like ourselves or
become indifferent to those who are different. Some of us ridicule those who are
different than us. Some of us can tolerate differences. Differences are not meant to
be solved; what is needed for synergy is celebration of differences, as they are
spaces for creative, generative growth. We need to see differences as an advantage
for creating new alternatives in life, without necessarily having to agree with them
(Covey, 1998).
By encouraging the expression of differences, we provide ourselves the oppor-
tunity to include in this process thoughts which otherwise might have remained
latent as untapped potential. By accepting the differences of each of us, all of us
open ourselves to a wider array of possibilities. By recognising and valuing dif-

ferences, we help to sharpen our thinking and develop better solutions than we
could have attained by ignoring differences. The strength of all of us derives from
our differences (Kansas University Medical Center, 2003).
Activities
Activity 6.2: Game of Guess Whose Strengths
of recognition of strengths in others and acceptance and respect of others.

1. Ask one participant to go out of the room;
2. The rest of the participants decide on the ‘it’, a participant in the large group
whose identity has to be guessed by the participant who went out;
3. When the person is called back, he or she asks the participants for clues about
strengths of this person to identify him/her; and
4. Play a couple of rounds of this game.
• Can we find strengths in every person?
• Does everyone have worth and dignity?
• What is the importance of finding strengths in every person?
Activity 6.3: Recognition of Strengths in Faults
of recognition of strengths in faults in others and acceptance and respect of others.

1. Narrate the following story of A Cracked Pot:
An elderly woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which
she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot
was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long
walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one
and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accom-
plishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one
day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side
causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”
The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of
the path, but not on the other pot’s side?” “That’s because I have always known
about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every
day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick
these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you
are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”
2. Show Summary Chart 6.2 on recognition of strengths in faults and discuss it;
and
3. Select one person with whom they are disengaged and identify their negative
characteristics that bother them and write down in their diary. Reflect if they can
see strengths in those negative characteristics. Identify strengths of the same
person (e.g. a person may have a short temper, but may be a very diligent and
sincere worker).
• Can we find strengths in every person?
• What is the importance of finding strengths in every person?
• Does not each of us have limitations?
• Can we see limitations as a blessing in disguise?
• Can we find strengths even in the negative characteristics of a person?
• Can we accept and respect every person?
Activities
Activity 6.4: Video Discussion on Diversity in the World
importance of diversity and the need to celebrate differences.
Procedure: Show the video: If the World were a Village

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrcOdLYBIw0.
Questions for Discussion: Use the following questions to discuss this video:
• What did you see in the film?
• What type of diversity did you see in the film?
• What are the reasons for the diversity in the world?

• Why are differences troublesome for some of us?
• How would the world be if every one of us were same?
• How can each one of us be unique if we are not different from one another?
• How do differences help in creating new alternatives in life?
Positive Feelings for Others
For enrichment of interpersonal relationships, positive feelings of warmth, humility

and genuineness with others are very important. These can be expressed by verbal
and body language.
Warmth
According to Shebib (2003, pp. 72–73), warmth is an expression of non-possessive

caring. Kirst-Ashman and Hull (2009) noted that displaying warmth involves
genuinely conveying a feeling of interest, concern, well-being and affection to
another individual. It is a vehicle for acceptance. Alberti and Emmons (1998) have
observed that positive, caring feelings are more difficult for many people to express
than assertiveness. Embarrassment, fear of rejection or ridicule and the idea that
reason is superior to emotion are excuses for not expressing warmth, caring and
love spontaneously. Warmth can be expressed by eyes, smile, touch and words.
Humility
According to Stauffer (1988), humility opens our mind to perceive accurately the
needs of others as they see them and to desire to meet those needs when it is
practical to do so. The one who practices humility develops the ability to listen to
hear the needs of others. The one who is humble also sees value in others. The
humble person also relates to the one in need in an appropriate manner.
Genuineness
Congruence among one’s thinking, feeling, speaking and behaviour leads to gen-
uineness which means honest, natural and open expression of oneself. It makes the
other person feel that you are trustworthy (adapted from Kirst-Ashman & Hull
2009, p. 54).
Activities
Activity 6.5: Warm and Genuine Greetings
of expressing warmth and genuineness for others.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by warmth and write on the board;
2. Make participants stand in two rows with each participant facing another from
the opposite row; and
3. Each participant steps ahead and warmly and genuinely greets the participant in
his/her front, one at a time, so that everybody enjoys the warmth.
1. How did you feel giving warm and genuine greetings?
2. What did you feel receiving warm and genuine greetings?
3. How are greetings linked to respect and exchange of energy?
4. Do we need to know the person to greet them warmly?
Time Estimate: Depends on the number of participants.
Win-Win Goals in Relationships
Covey (1997) has laid down four goals in a relationship, depending upon whether
we want to win or lose and whether we want the other person to win or lose as
discussed below.
Goal of Win-Lose: Persons with low self-esteem and aggressiveness want to win
and others to lose all the time in the following ways:
• Use other people for their own selfish purposes;
• Try to get ahead at the expense of others;
• Insist on getting their way without being concerned about the feelings of others;
and
• Become jealous when something good happens to others.
When two win-lose persons get together, it ends in a lose-lose outcome. Both of
them lose as is evident in wars or in revenge.
Goal of Lose-Win: Persons with low self-esteem and passiveness want to lose and
others to win all the time in the following ways:
• In a doormat approach, they set low expectations and compromise their stan-
dards; and
• It can lead to an abusive relationship.
Goal of Win-Win: Persons with high self-esteem and assertiveness want them and
others, to win all the time in the following ways:
• It does not eliminate the differences in perspectives; it eliminates the negative
energy normally focused on the differences;
• It creates a positive and cooperative energy focused on thoroughly under-
standing the issues and resolving them in a mutually beneficial way;
• It is a belief in the Third Alternative, neither ‘your’ way nor ‘my’ way, but a
better way; and
• This approach creates synergy, which produces solutions better than the origi-
nally proposed approaches.
Activities
Activity 6.6: Exercise on Self-Assessment of Goals in Relationships
following:
1. The disadvantages of the win-lose, lose-win and lose-lose goals in relationships;
and
2. The advantages of the win-win goal in relationships.
1. Show Summary Chart 6.3 and discuss the disadvantages of the ‘I win-you lose’,
‘I lose-you win’ and ‘lose-lose’ approaches in relationships and the advantages
of the ‘win-win’ goals in relationships; and
2. Ask the participants to reflect on their goals in their main relationships and fill
up the Exercise on Self-Assessment of Goals in Relationships (given at the end
of the module).
• When do we always want to win and the other to lose?
• When do we always want to lose and the other to win?
• What happens when both the persons want to win and want the other to lose?
• What are the advantages of a win-win approach when both the persons want
both to win?
Requirements of Close Relationships
Interdependence: We begin life as dependent on others. Then gradually, we

become more and more independent. As we continue to mature, we become
increasingly aware that all of nature is interdependent. We then move from ‘You’ to
‘I’, to ‘We’. Interdependence is the paradigm of ‘We’. Interdependent social
interactions can create synergy in relationships, which can lead to new energy or
new alternatives in life (Covey, 1997). Interdependence can be achieved through a
semi-open boundary between two individuals which is defined by cohesion and
maintained by adaptability.
Cohesion: Cohesion is a measure of interpersonal relationships which are defined
as the emotional bonding between two persons. Relationships with extremely high
cohesion are often referred to as enmeshed; individuals are so intensely bonded and
overinvolved that they experience little autonomy or fulfilment of personal needs
and goals. Disengaged refers to relationships at the other end of the continuum in
which members experience extreme emotional separateness; each member has high
autonomy and individuality. Balanced relationships maintain separateness and
togetherness (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, 2008).
Adaptability: Adaptability in interpersonal relationships is the ability of two per-
sons to change in response to one another and move towards a state of homeostasis
to manage stability and change. The four levels of adaptability range from rigid
(very low), to structured (low to moderate), to flexible (moderate to high) and to
chaotic (very high). Relationships that regularly experience extensive change may
be considered chaotic. On the other extreme, rigidity characterises relationships that
repress change and growth. Balanced relationships are generally found at structured
and flexible levels (adapted from Galvin et al., 2008).
Activities
Activity 6.7: Exercise on Self-Assessment of Interdependence, Cohesion and

Adaptability in Interpersonal Relationships
awareness on the following:
1. The importance of interdependence with others through semi-open
self-boundary;
2. The importance of separate and together cohesion; and
3. The importance of structured and flexible adaptability in interpersonal
relationships.

1. Ask students what they think make a good relationship;
2. Give them the Exercise on Assessment of Interdependence, Cohesion and
Adaptability in Interpersonal Relationships (see p. 178) to each participant to
reflect and respond;
3. Show Summary Chart 6.4 to discuss interdependence in relationships; and
4. Show Summary Chart 6.5 to discuss cohesion in relationships.
• How do you feel when you are dependent on others?
• How do you feel when others are dependent on you?
• How do you feel being in an interdependent relationship where the two persons
are independent as well as dependent on each other?
• Do you have your own identity if you are in an enmeshed relationship?
• Is there a relationship when each one is independent?
• Do you always/never change according to the other person?
• Are you flexible and adaptable to the other person?
Collaborative Conflict Management Skills
Interpersonal conflict takes place when two persons perceive incompatible goals
and interference from each other in achieving those goals (Folger et al., 2001, cited
in West & Turner, 2006). Conditions of scarcity create competitive zero-sum
structure whereby gains for one party result in losses for other members. Such a
structure produces behaviours of confrontations, threats, promises and appeasement
(Zimmerman, 2001).
Types of Interpersonal Conflict
According to West and Turner (2006), the various types of conflict are image
conflicts, content conflicts, value conflicts and relational conflicts:
• Image conflicts concern self-presentation;
• Content conflicts revolve around an issue, public or personal;
• Value conflicts are content conflicts in which the content is a question of right or
wrong; and
• Relational conflicts focus on issues concerning the relationship between two
people.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Conflicts
According to Johnson (1986), in conflict situations, there are often perceptual

distortions about our own and the other person’s behaviour, motivations and
position. When selective perception or distortions in perception operate, it is very
easy to fall into a trap where we see only the hostile feelings of the other person and
fail to see the positive feelings. This can very easily result in a self-fulfilling
prophecy in the following manner:
1. We assume that the other’s feelings are entirely hostile;
2. We take defensive action by either attacking the other person before he or she
can attack us or cutting off contact with the other person;
3. Our action intensifies the other person’s hostility and decreases his or her
positive feelings towards us; and
4. Our original, but false, assumption is confirmed. Self-fulfilling prophecies are
very common in conflict situations, and whenever we become involved in a
conflict, we should be careful not to fall into these traps.
Collaborative Conflict Management Skills
When there is a conflict in a relationship, do not try to ‘get your way’ or ‘get back at’
the other person or ‘turn the other cheek’. The important thing is to affirm the
self-worth of both people involved (Alberti & Emmons, 1998). The collaborative
conflict management skills include attitude adjustment, reducing defensiveness in
others, understanding the other person’s perception of the conflict and win-win goals.
Attitude Adjustment: According to Ford (2006), attitude adjustment in conflict

management includes the following:
• Let go of the need to be right;
• Do not offer resistance;
• Acknowledge the other person’s position;
• Offer your point of view;
• Agree to disagree; and
• Realise that the other person has important reasons.
Reducing Defensiveness in Others: Conflict gets aggravated with defensiveness
spiral when one negative comment tends to be reciprocated, then each provokes
another, getting worse as we go along, creating a downward spiral that is very
difficult to turn around (Wilmot, 1987, cited in Hamilton, 2007). Following are the
techniques for reducing defensiveness in self and others:
• Replace evaluation or judgemental communication with non-judgemental
description;
• Replace certainty or closed-mindedness with provisionalism or open-
mindedness;
• Replace control or making decisions for other people with working collabora-
tively with them;
• Replace indifference/manipulative strategy with spontaneity;
• Replace neutrality or lack of concern with sensitivity; and
• Replace superiority with equality (adapted from Hamilton, 2007).
Understanding the Other Person’s Perception of the Conflict: Johnson and
Johnson (2009) note that it is important to see the conflict from both, your own and
the other person’s perspective. You can ask for clarification or correction to make
sure your understanding is correct. The most effective way to gain insight into the
other person’s perspective is to role-play that you are the other person and have the
other person do the same. Then you are more likely to find mutually beneficial
solutions.
Steps for Collaborative Conflict Management
The following steps are recommended for collaborative conflict management:

(1) Find appropriate time and place to discuss the conflict. Take a deep breath to
physically relax;
(2) Begin with an attitude of respect for and acceptance of each other;
(3) Only if we are sincerely appreciative of each other, when things go well, do
we have the right to criticise each other;
(4) Identify the real issue of the conflict and determine to solve the conflict;
(5) Focus on one issue at a time, decide what is of the uppermost concern and
discuss it;
(6) Own one’s opinions, feeling and action and not transfer to or label the other;
(7) Ask and express one’s expectations of the other and reasons for
disappointment;
(8) Ask questions instead of making personal attacks or counter-attacks;
(9) Understand the other’s views with a non-judgemental attitude and be sen-
sitive to each other’s needs and perceptions, by imagining oneself in the
other’s role;
(10) Maintain a here and now orientation;
(11) Be specific and realistic about expectations from each other;
(12) Emphasise points of agreement as a foundation for discussion of points of
argument;
(13) Put forth one’s suggestions to solve the conflict and to discuss the pros and
cons of each suggestion;
(14) Develop goals, which are basically compatible. If they both want to preserve
the relationship more than to win, they have a better chance;
(15) Seek solutions rather than deciding who is to blame;
(16) Work towards a win-win outcome;
(17) Make a commitment to implement the solution and take responsibility for its
consequences;
(18) If one has made a mistake, admit it and if one has hurt the other, apologise.
Apologies disarm the other person;
(19) If conflict resolution is not possible, agree to disagree; and
(20) Learn from the experience.
Agreement to End the Conflict
According to Johnson and Johnson (2009), a conflict ends when two persons reach
an agreement. Following are the requirements of a wise agreement:
1. The agreement must meet the legitimate goals of all participants and be viewed
as fair by everyone involved; and
2. The agreement should clearly specify (1) the way each person will act differ-
ently in future and, (2) how the agreement will be reviewed and renegotiated if it
turns out to be unworkable.
It is important that both the persons understand which actions trigger anger and
resentment in the other. Criticism, put-downs, sarcasm, belittling and other actions
often trigger a conflict. If the two understand what not to do as well as what to do,
the conflict will be resolved more easily.
Activities
Activity 6.8: Story on Futility of Verbal Aggression
futility of verbal aggression.

1. Share the story of the Two Goats with the participants or have them role-play it:
Once a white goat and a black goat were crossing a river from the opposite
banks. They were on a narrow bridge across the river. Only one person or
animal could walk on it at one time. As the two goats met at the middle, the black
goat said, “Hey! Why are you blocking my path? Go back and let me go on my
way.” The white goat grew angry and said, “How dare you order me? I’ll not
step back. Why don’t you go back?” Soon the argument heated up. The two
goats locked horns in anger. As they were fighting on the narrow bridge, they
lost their balance and fell into the swift flowing river and both of them drowned
(Tiny Tot Best of Moral Stories, 2002).
2. Show Summary Chart 6.6 to introduce the collaborative conflict management

skills and apply them to this story.
• What is conflict?
• Can you avoid conflicts in life?
• Does aggression help in resolving conflicts?
• How could the goats have resolved their conflict?
• How could the goats have changed their attitudes?
• How could the goats have reduced defensiveness in each other?
• How could the goats have understood the other person’s perception of the
conflict?
• How could the goats have used win-win goals?
Activity 6.9: Role Reversal to Understand the Other Perspective
Learner Expected Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will
develop the skills of role reversal to understand the other perspective in conflictual
relationships.

1. Identify a controversial topic for debate and divide the participants into two
groups, one to argue in favour of the topic and the other against it. Examples of
the topic are should children carry so many books to school, should child labour
be banned, should women work and so on; and
2. In the next step, ask the groups to reverse their stands, the one which argued in
favour of it should now argue against it and vice versa.
This activity can also be carried out through role-plays, with following
examples:
• In a mixed sex group, men and women may be asked to reverse their sex roles
and present a role-play;
• In a family situation, the traditional parents and children/adolescents’ roles may
be reversed; and
• In a work situation, employers and employees’ roles may be reversed.

Activity 6.10: Story on the Third Alternative
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn about
using the Third Alternative for the win-win approach.
Procedure: Share the following story and ask the group to enact it:
Some children were playing on the staircase of their building and ringing the
doorbell of some flats and then running away. The adults in these flats were getting
angry but could not catch the children. One day as soon as they rang a doorbell, an
elderly gentleman opened the door and asked them why they were doing this? The
children started rushing down the stairs and the elderly man followed them. In
rushing, one boy slipped and hurt his knee (Misra & Pasricha, 2014).
At this stage, enact role-plays of the following three alternative scenarios:
Alternative 1: The boy’s parents were called by one of the children, and they went
and fought with the old man, who in turn, decided to tolerate the children’s pranks;
Alternative 2: The old man shouted at the children and complained to their parents,
who in turn, stopped the children from playing on the stairs; and
Alternative 3: The old man bent over and saw the boy‘s bruised knee. He picked
him up and brought him to his flat. The other children followed them, saying sorry
to the old man. When the old man realised that they were playing on the staircase
because they did not have any other place to play, he offered them his spare room
to play (Misra & Pasricha, 2014).
• What was the conflict about?
• What do you think of response to the conflict by alternative 1? If the old man
had tolerated the children what would have been the implications for him?
• What do you think of response to the conflict by alternative 2? If the old man
had got angry and made the parents punish the children, what could have been
the implications for the children?
• What was the Third Alternative and what were its implications?
• How was the conflict resolved in a win-win manner?
• What is necessary for the Third Alternative to be possible?
Activity 6.11: Role-Plays on Collaborative Method to Manage Conflict
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will learn to develop
collaborative conflict management skills of attitude adjustment, reducing defen-
siveness in others and understanding the other person’s perception of the conflict
for win-win goals.

1. Form five small groups and give each small group a chit of one of the following
conflictual situations, which can be adapted depending on their age group and
life situation:
a. Conflict between two classmates in the ninth standard, competing for the first
rank;
b. An adolescent girl wanting to stay overnight at a girl friend’s house and
parents not agreeing to it;
c. Siblings fighting over which TV channel to be watched;
d. Neighbour conflict over children using the common area to play between
two neighbouring buildings; and
e. Grandchild not liking having to share her room with the visiting
grandmother.
2. Small groups prepare role-plays on collaborative conflict management skills and
present to the large group.
• What were the skills and steps used in resolving the conflict?
Activity 6.12: Story of Apologising
importance and skill of apologising.
Procedure: Share the story of Chinku and Minny with the participants or have
them role-play it. Chinku and Minny were brother and sister. Because Chinku was
teasing Minny, she took his favourite car and threw it outside the window. Chinku
ran out to look for it but could not find it. Minny felt very bad and went out to look
or the car. When she found it behind a bush. She was happy and gave it to Chinku.
Chinku was very happy and apologised to Minny saying he will not tease her again.
Minny also apologised to him for throwing the car out. Both of them forgave each
other and started playing again (Viva, 2013).
• Why did Chinku apologise to Minny?
• What would have happened if Chinku had not apologised to Minny?
• Why did Minny apologise to Chinku?
• What would have happened if Minny had not apologised to Chinku?

• Why do we hesitate to apologise when we make a mistake? How can we
overcome the hesitation?
• Can we learn from our mistakes?
• Can we say sorry to persons whom we may have hurt?
Application of Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills

to Friendship Skills
This section is developed for specific use with children and adolescents.
Friendship
Friendship is the loving commitment of two persons in a mutual relationship. It

helps us to form a new entity without losing our individuality. There is mutual trust
and openness. It enables a person to experience unconditional love, mutual affir-
mation, acceptance and freedom (Vishala, 2013).
Development of Peer Relationships in Preschool Age
During the preschool age, child’s social world expands and peer interactions
become increasingly important. As children increasingly value spending time with
peers and gaining their acceptance, they are motivated to develop skills in per-
spective taking, sharing and negotiation as means of maintaining their friendships
(Lesser & Pope, 2007). In preschool age, children’s friendship groups are likely to
be segregated by sex. In this age group, children also show interest in group games
that are more structured and somewhat more oriented to reality than play that is
based primarily on imagination. Group games usually include a few rules that are
simple enough so that a child can use them effectively to begin a game and
determine a winner without the help of an adult (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Peer Groups and Friendships in Middle Childhood
In middle childhood, children’s social reference changes from family to the peer
group with whom they spend more time in schools. Children often desire to be
popular among their peers and become keenly aware of who the popular children
are. Peers provide the context within which friendships are developed. Friendship is
a mutually reciprocal relationship between one or more children based on common
interests and concrete activities. Children need support and encouragement (and not
interference) from sensitive adults as they struggle to find their own place among
peers and friends (Lesser & Pope, 2007). In middle childhood, boys and girls
become members of same-sex cliques, or small friendship groups, and have little to
do with the other sex (Sigelman & Rider, 2006).
Children learn at least three lessons from daily interactions with their peers:
1. An increasing appreciation of the many points of view represented in the peer
group;
2. Conformation to the social norms and pressures of their peer group for peer
approval; and
3. Making of close friends with same-sex peers characterised by high levels of
shared activity, companionship, help or guidance, and ease of conflict resolution
During middle childhood, a new dimension added to the quality of a child’s play
as children begin to participate in team sports and, as a result, gain a sense of team
success and personal success. Team sports are generally more complicated than the
kinds of group games children played in the preschool age. The rules are so
complex that they may require a referee or an umpire if they are to be followed
accurately. Team membership carries with it awareness that one’s acts may affect
the success or failure of the entire group. This provides lessons in interdependence,
division of labour and cooperation (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Peer Groups and Friendships in Adolescence
Jones (2009) noted that in an industrial society, where home and work had become
separated, primary socialisation within the family could not prepare young people
adequately for their future roles. It was, therefore, necessary to supplement primary
socialisation within the family with secondary socialisation in schools. Coleman
(1961, cited in Jones, 2009) suggested that the school system created circumstances
in which adolescents were forced inwards towards their own age group, and
developed a society among themselves, with its own norms and status system,
barely connected with adult society. James and James (2012) note that moving
away from the family, the youth (adolescents) may move towards the peer group as
the increasingly dominant reference point for behaviours, values and attitudes.
Relationships with peers take centre stage in adolescence. When separating from
the primary attachment adult figures, peers serve as attachment figures for ado-
lescents. This process involves a transformation from the more hierarchical
attachment relationships to more equal relationships.
While the peer group works alongside the family and school in structuring the
pathways between childhood and adulthood, it differs from them in a number of
ways:
1. Peer groups are less authoritarian;
2. They are informal so allow a wider range of subject matter to be tackled;
3. They become a testing ground for new ideas and values generated in periods of
rapid social change; and
4. They are a site for the exploration of independence (Wyness, 2012).
Adolescents tend to choose friends from their own class and racial groups.
Cross-sex friendships become common, often putting lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgendered youth at risk for verbal and physical harassment. Peer pressure in
adolescence can be seen as a reflexive desire to please peers just as the adolescent
had once pleased parents during the earlier developmental phases (Lesser & Pope,
2007). Peer pressure refers to demands for conformity to group norms and
demonstration of commitment and loyalty to group members. The process of
affiliating with a peer group requires an adolescent to accept the pressure and social
influence imposed by it (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Activities
Activity 6.13: Story on Differences as an Advantage
advantage of differences in relationships.

1. Ask the participants what makes a good friendship.
2. Share the story of Sonu and Monu with the participants or have them
role-play it:
Once there lived two friends Sonu and Monu. Sonu was blind while Monu was
lame. He could not walk without help. One day Sonu heard that a large fair was
being held in the next village. He said to Monu, “Friend, we must go to that fair.
We”ll have a lot of fun.” “But Sonu, how can we go so far away? You are blind
so you can’t see the way. I am lame so I can’t walk for such a long distance.”
Sonu smiled and said, “Don’t be disheartened, Monu, I have found a way out.
I am blind but I can walk to cover great distances. You cannot walk as you are
lame, but you can show me the way to the fair. Now you can sit on my shoulders.
You will see the way and tell me which way to go while I’ll be your legs to carry
you to the fair.” So the two friends went to the fair together and enjoyed
themselves (Tiny Tot Best of Moral Stories, 2002).
• What was common between Sonu and Monu?
• What was different between Sonu and Monu?
• How did Sonu and Monu overcome difficulties together to go to the fair?
• How do differences help in friendships?
• Do your friends always behave like you or are there differences?
• Are these differences a problem or an advantage?
• How can friends use their complimentary assets to achieve a goal?
Activity 6.14: Story of the Stork and the Fox
the skill of empathy.

1. Share the story of the Stork and the Fox with the participants or ask them to
enact it:
A fox and a stork were fast friends. Once the fox invited the stork for lunch. She
prepared a delicious soup. When the stork arrived for lunch, he was very hungry.
The fox soon served two dishes of steaming soup. But the fox had served the soup
in flat dishes. The fox lapped up the soup quickly but the poor stork could not taste
the soup. His long, thin beak could not taste a single drop of the soup.
After the lunch, the stork invited the fox for dinner to his own house. The fox
was delighted. She started thinking about all the delicious dishes the stork
would serve. As soon as the sun set, the fox dressed up and arrived at the
stork’s doorstep. She could smell the tasty soup being prepared in the
kitchen. Soon the stork welcomed the fox in. The soup was served in a narrow
and long mouthed jar. The stork quickly dipped his beak into the jar and
drank up the soup. Alas! All that the fox could do was smell the soup. The
narrow mouth of the jar did not let her get at the soup in the jar (Tiny Tot
Best of Moral Stories, 2002).
2. Ask volunteers to rewrite the story of the Stork and the Fox if they were to behave
with empathy. They can then share the rewritten story with the large group.
• Why was there lack of empathy in the original story?
• Why is it necessary to recognise individual needs?
• How did you bring in empathy in the story?

Activity 6.15: Supporting a Friend
giving support to a friend in need.
Procedure: Use the following procedure to conduct the activity:

1. Share the story of friendship of an ant with a pigeon. When the ant fell in the
river and was about to drown, the pigeon dropped a leaf into the river so the ant
could hop on it and save itself. Next time, when a hunter was about to shoot he
pigeon, the ant bit him so he missed his shot and the pigeon was saved.
2. Make six small groups and allocate the following situations among them to
discuss and plan role-plays:
(1) What would you do if your friend looks sad because his/her parents did not
allow him/her to go for the school tour?
(2) What would you do if your friend is angry about a teacher shouting at him/
her for no fault of his/her?
(3) What would you do if your friend is hurt about a broken friendship?
(4) What would you do if your friend is nervous about an exam?
(5) What would you do if your friend looks ill?
(6) What would you do if your friend is afraid of going home as his stepfather
beats him?
3. Ask them to present the role-plays to the large group for further inputs.
• How did you feel supporting a friend in need?
• How did you feel being supported by a friend when you are in need?
Activity 6.16: Reflection on Conflict Between Expectations of Peer Group, Self

and Family
manage conflict between the expectations of peer group, self and those of the
parents.
Procedure: Make small groups to discuss the following:

1. Ask the participants to reflect on their peers and friends with the following
questions:
• Why are they their friends?
• What behaviour do they expect of them?
• Do they meet the expectations of their friends?
• Do their parents like their friends?

• What do your parents not like about their friends?
• What behaviour do your parents expect from them?
2. Ask them to reflect on the following questions with reference to the conflict
between the expectations of peer group, self and those of the parents:
• Is there conflict between expectations of their friends and expectations of
themselves? Why?
• Is there conflict between expectations of friends and those of parents? Why?
• How do they respond/react to these conflicts?
• Have they made any attempts to resolve these conflicts? If yes, what
approach did they use?
• What prevented the conflict from getting resolved?
• How will you resolve these conflicts in a collaborative way?
3. Present the discussion to the large group.

1. Show the PowerPoints/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a time
and ask the participants if they think they have achieved the objective; and

Summary Chart 6.1 Interpersonal relationship skills
CollaboraƟve
Conflict
Management
Skills
Interpersonal PosiƟve
CommunicaƟon PercepƟon of
Skills Others
Interpersonal
RelaƟonship Skills
Interdependence PosiƟve Feelings

& Adaptability for Others
Win-Win Goals in
RelaƟonships
Summary Chart 6.2 Recognition of strengths in faults

(Adapted from Skills for School Success, 1993)
Recognition of Recognition of
Faults Strengths
Rudeness Being straightforward
Bossiness Leadership
Sissyness Gentleness
Nosy behaviour Curiosity
Stubbornness Determination
Anger Standing up for beliefs
Laziness Being able to relax
Disorganised Comfortable
Summary Chart 6.3 Win-win goals in relationships
I Lose-You Win
Lose-Lose Goal:
Goal:
When both
When I is
Lose
passive
I Win-You Lose Win-Win Goal:

Goal: When both
When I is are asserƟve
aggressive both win
Summary Chart 6.4 Interdependence in relationships
Dependence: Independence: Interdependence

You I We
In Childhood In Adolescence In Adulthood
Summary Chart 6.5 Levels of cohesion in relationships

Indifferent Cohesion
Enmeshed Cohesion
Balanced Cohesion
Summary Chart 6.6 Collaborative conflict management skills
Win-Win Goals Aƫtude Adjustment
CollaboraƟve
Conflict
Management Skills
Reducing Defensiveness Understanding the

in Others Other Person’s PercepƟon
of the Conflict
Exercise for Activity 6.6: Self-Assessment of Goals in Relationships

Relationships with Goals in Relationships
• I Win and You Lose - 1
• I Lose and You Win - 2
• I Lose and You Lose - 3
• I Win and You Win - 4
Parents
Spouse
Children
Siblings
Grandparents
Cousins
Aunts and Uncles
Friends
Exercise for Activity 6.7: Self-Assessment of Interdependence, Cohesion and

Adaptability in Interpersonal Relationships
Relationships Interdependence Cohesion Adaptability
with Our relationship is: Our interaction is: Our interaction is:
• He/she is dependent • Enmeshed - 1 • Rigid - 1
on me (parent) - 1 • Together - 2 • Structured - 2
• I am dependent on • Separate - 3 • Flexible - 3
him/her (child) - 2 • Disengaged - 4 • Chaotic - 4
• We are independent of
each other - 3
• We are dependent on
another (adult/mature) - 4
Parents
Spouse
Children
Siblings
Grandparents
Friends
Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 8: Enrichment of Interpersonal Relationship Skills. In A Rights-Based
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Covey, S. (1998). The 7 habits of highly effective teens. London: Simon and Schuster.
Galvin, K. M., Bylund, C. L., & Brommel, B. J. (2008). Family communication: Cohesion and
change (7th ed.). Boston: Pearson.
James, A., & James, A. (2012). Key concepts in childhood studies (2nd ed.). London: Sage.
Johnson, D. W. (1986). Reaching out: Interpersonal effectiveness and self-actualisation. New
Jersey: Prentice-Hall.
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Delhi: Rising Sun.
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Publications.
Part II
Introduction to Theories, Rights and Skills
of Engagement with Children
Module 7
Psychosocial Theories of Child
Development
Introduction to Theories of Child Development
Concepts, Determinants and Domains of Child Development
Concept of Development: According to Sigelman and Rider (2006, p. 2),

‘Development can be defined as systematic changes and continuities in the indi-
vidual that occur between conception and death…Development entails many
changes; by describing these changes as systematic, we imply that they are orderly,
patterned, and relatively enduring—not fleeting and unpredictable like mood
swings. Development also involves continuities, ways in which we remain the same
or continue to reflect our pasts’. Based on the systematic changes, the life cycle is
divided into age-related stages, childhood being the first one.
Concept of Childhood: According to James and James (2012), childhood is the
early stage of the life course of all people in all societies, characterised by rapid
physiological and psychological development. They cite Qvortrup (1994) who sees
childhood as a social structural space, occupied by generations after generations.
Principles of Child Development: According to Evans, Myers, and llfeld (2000),
following are some common child development principles:
• Development is holistic consisting of interdependent dimensions (physical,
cognitive and psychosocial). All are interwoven in a child’s life and are
developing simultaneously. Progress in one area affects progress in others.
• Development is multidetermined and varies as a function of genetic inheritance
from parents, the child’s nutritional and bio-medical status, and social and
cultural context.
• Children live within a context—family, community, culture—and their needs
are most effectively addressed in relation to that context.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_7
184 7 Psychosocial Theories of Child Development
• Children are active participants in their own development and learning. Learning
involves child’s construction of knowledge, not an adult’s imposition of
information onto the child.
Determinants of Child Development: The interaction of nature (heredity) and
nurture (environment) is important for child development:
• Nature is the individual genetic make-up, universal maturational processes
guided by genes, biologically based predispositions built into genes over the
course of evolution and other biological influences (Sigelman & Rider, 2006).
• Nurture comprises the range of influences of the environment and the learning
experiences, child rearing methods, societal changes and the cultural context
(Sigelman & Rider, 2006). Learning is defined as the process of acquiring
knowledge, skills, habits and values trough experience, experimentation,
observation, reflection, and/or study and instruction (Myers, 1995, cited in
Evans et al., 2000).
• Genes provide the potentials and how they are expressed depends on what kind
of environment we experience. On the other hand, how we respond to our
environment depends on what kinds of genes we have (Sigelman & Rider,
2006).
Child development involves both a gradual unfolding of biologically determined
characteristics and traits that arise as the child learns from experiences (Myers,
1995, cited in Evans et al., 2000). A certain degree of biological maturation is
necessary before a child can learn anything (Sigelman & Rider, 2006). It is
therefore extremely important to ensure that the environment does not make
demands that the biological system of the individual cannot meet (Lesser & Pope,
2007). For example, in preschool-age, children have not yet attained eye–hand
coordination, so it is premature to push them to write.
Domains of Child Development: According to Sigelman and Rider (2006,

pp. 2-3), human development falls into three main domains: physical development,
cognitive development and psychosocial development:
Physical Development: The growth of the body and its organs, the functioning
of physiological systems, pubertal changes, the appearance of physical signs of
ageing, the changes in motor abilities and so on.
Cognitive Development: The changes and continuities in perception, language,

learning, memory, problem-solving and other mental processes.
Psychosocial Development: The changes and carryover in personal and inter-

personal aspects of development, such as motives, emotions, personality traits,
interpersonal skills and relationships, and roles played in the family and the larger
society.
Stages of Child Development
Concept of Developmental Stage: A developmental stage is a period of life that is

unique and characterised by a specific underlying organisation:
• At every stage, some characteristics differentiate that stage from the preceding
and the succeeding stages.
• At each stage, the accomplishments from the previous stage provide resources
for mastering the new challenges.
• Thus, the stages form a sequence.
The 0–18 age group is a very long and diverse age group of childhood, so
homogenisation of childhood needs to be prevented by using the life cycle
approach. In the life cycle approach, children’s evolving capacities are broadly
divided into life stages which are combined with the school-going status as shown
in Summary Chart 7.1. It should be noted that age definitions are somewhat arbi-
trary and do not reflect the range of children’s capacities, which vary from child to
child and depend on the contexts they grow up in, on children’s mental develop-
ment and their social, economic, cultural and religious background (Lansdown,
2005, cited in Inter-Agency Working Group on Children’s Participation, 2008).
Kakar (2008) cites Ayurveda’s childhood periods as follows:

1. Garbha, or the foetal period
2. Ksheerda (0–6 months), when the infant lives entirely on milk
3. Ksheerannada (6 months to 2 years), the period in which weaning takes place
4. Bala (2–5 years)
5. Kumara (5–16 years) (p. 239).
Kakar (2008) noted that in the Ashram Dharma, the school age and adolescence
are called Brahmacharyashram, meant for apprenticeship and fidelity.
Developmental Tasks: Developmental tasks, as conceptualised by Havighhurst,
contribute to development at each stage of life and increase mastery over one’s
environment. These tasks reflect areas of accomplishment in physical, cognitive,
social and emotional development, as well as development of self-concept, as
required by the society based on physical maturation for the respective age groups
Freud’s Psychosexual Theory
Domains of Consciousness: Sigmund Freud’s psychodynamic theory identified the

domains of consciousness referred to as the conscious, the preconscious and the
unconscious (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Structures of Personality: Freud’s psychodynamic theory describes three basic
structures of the personality:
Id: The id contains one’s inherited instinctual urges in the unconscious. It is the
primitive part of human personality, driven by the pleasure principle and comprised
of the sexual and aggressive impulses. According to Freud, instincts constitute the
driving force behind personality. Many explanations of seemingly irrational
behaviour can be found by analysing the conflicting sexual aggressive needs, fears
and wishes that are housed in the unconscious (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Superego: The superego develops out of the ego in the conscious and the
preconscious mind and comprises the moral, ethical principles (Dale, Smith, Norlin,
& Chess, 2006). The superego rewards the child with pride and self-praise or
punishes the child with feelings of guilt or shame (Thomas, 1985, cited in Robbins,
Chatterjee, & Canda, 2006).
Ego: Ego is the mediator between the id and the superego, pushed from both
sides but guided by its own sense of logic and sense of reality (Dale et al., 2006).
The ego develops out of the id in the conscious and the preconscious mind.
Through socialisation, it is guided by the reality principle, the recognition of the
behavioural demands of the external world. It is based on the recognition that a
person has the capacity to think, learn, reason and adjust behaviours to the social
environment. As the ego develops, the child becomes increasingly adept at satis-
fying id impulses in ways that are socially acceptable and do not offend the moral
and ethical content of the superego. Maturation and mental health rest on the ability
of the ego to control and satisfy drive forces without violating the internalised moral
sanctions of the culture (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Freud’s Psychosexual Stages: Freud (1964, cited in Sigelman & Rider, 2006)
maintained that as the child matures biologically, the psychic energy of the sex
instinct, which he called libido, shifts from one part of the body to another, seeking
to gratify different biological needs. In the process, the child moves through five
psychosexual stages: oral, anal, phallic, latent and genital, as discussed below.
Oral Stage: The oral stage covers the period from birth to about 18 months.
Initiated by the sucking reflex, the infant not only feeds but also derives the pleasure
from the sucking process itself (Dale et al., 2006).
Anal Stage: The anal stage starts around the 18th month. Now the anal region
gets energised with libido, and the child turns his or her attention to the pleasures
associated with the bowel movements and the faecal products produced. Guided by
id impulses, the child expresses pleasure by handling and smearing his or her faeces
(Dale et al., 2006).
Phallic Stage: The phallic stage starts around age three and lasts until age six or so.
At this time, the genital area becomes the important erogenous zone. The boys take
greater interest in their penis and girls in their clitoris or vulva (Robbins et al., 2006).
Latency Stage: The latency stage begins with start of school and lasts until
puberty, at 11 for girls and 13 for boys. In this stage, the child acquires good
ego-based defence structure and the power of the id-related aggressive and sexual
impulses become latent. Children identify with the same-sex parent and superego
becomes strengthened as parental values continue to be incorporated (Robbins
et al., 2006).
Genital Stage: The genital stage starts with the onset of puberty. Sexual feelings
swell, and the child is ready with the sexual organs to release their sexual impulses
(Dale et al., 2006).
Erikson’s Stages and Ego Conflicts: Erikson (1963, cited in Newman & Newman,
2009) proposed eight stages of psychosocial development, partly based on Freud’s
psychosexual stages. However, he does not give age groups for the stages. He also
identified the main psychosocial ego conflicts/crisis of each stage.
Psychosocial Crises: A psychosocial crisis arises because one must make
psychological efforts to adjust to the demands of the social environment at each
stage of development. Every psychosocial crisis reflects some discrepancy between
the person’s developmental competencies at the beginning of the stage and new
societal pressures for more effective integrated functioning. The word crisis in this
context refers to a normal set of stresses and strains rather than to an extraordinary
set of events. Mastery of the developmental tasks is influenced by the resolution of
the psychosocial crisis of the previous stage, and it is this resolution that leads to the
development of new social capabilities. In turn, the skills learnt during a particular
stage as a result of work on its developmental tasks provide the tools for the
resolution of the psychosocial crisis of that stage (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Most people experience both ends of the continuum, the outcome being a bal-
ance or integration of the two opposing forces.
Central Process: Each psychosocial crisis is resolved through a central process.
This process suggests a way that the person takes in or makes sense of cultural
expectations and undergoes adaptive modifications of the self. The term process
suggests a means by which the person recognises new social pressures and
expectations, gives these expectations personal meaning and gradually changes.
The process unfolding over time, results in a new relationship between self and
society (Newman & Newman, 2009). Summary Chart 7.2 depicts the psychosocial
crises and the processes to resolve the crises for each life stage in childhood.
Developmentalism and Its Critique
Developmentalism is the ‘ages and stages’ model of childhood based on biology, so

considered universal and justified as natural. In this model, children are positioned
along the pathway to completion by connecting their chronological age with a
clearly defined stage of development. Developmentalism presupposes that all
children go through these stages and that they have to go through them in a
predetermined way. The process is ‘invariant’; children can only move in one
direction and have to go through each stage in order before they reach completion
(Wyness, 2012).
Schriver (2004) notes the following criticism of such developmentalism:

• The standards of white Eurocentric culture of the founder are considered uni-
versal. They are binary with emphasis on polarities, and all the ego conflicts call
for resolutions weighted towards separateness.
• They are based on masculinist and patriarchal perspectives that assume male
experience as central. Female developmental experiences are described only in
terms of their differences from normal or modal male experience.
• They are limited to intrapsychic structures and processes. They give no
recognition to social or environmental conditions that might impinge on the
individual development.
• They use a medical or pathology perspective on people’s problems rather than a
social change or strengths perspective.
Activities
Introductory Activity 7.1: Reflections on Effects of Heredity and Environment on

One’s Childhood
Learning Outcome: By the end of this activity, the participants will develop
awareness on effects of heredity and environment on one’s childhood.

a. What do you mean by childhood?
b. How does a child develop to adulthood?
c. Why do children grow in diverse ways?
2. Show Summary Chart 7.3 and discuss the concept, determinants and domains of
child development.
3. Give them the Exercise on Effects of Heredity and Environment on one’s
Childhood to full up about their own childhood.
4. Ask them to share their Exercise with their partner.
• How did you feel carrying out this activity?
• What factor has played the most important role in your life? How is it different
from your partner’s life?
Time Estimate: 30 minutes

Activity 7.2: Small Group Discussion on One’s Own Childhood Stages
awareness on their own childhood stages.

a. What do you remember about your childhood?
b. How far back do you have memories of your childhood?
c. Do you remember the turning points in your childhood?
2. Show Summary Chart 7.1 to introduce the development stages in childhood.
3. Show Summary Chart 7.2 to discuss the psychosocial crises and the processes
to resolve the crises for each life stage in childhood.
4. Form three small groups and allocate the following child development stages
among them: early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence.
5. Ask them to discuss the main memories they have of that stage in their life.
6. Ask the small groups to share their discussion.
• Theories of Development in Early Childhood
• Theories of Development in Middle Childhood
• Theories of Development in Adolescence
Activity 7.3: Critique of Developmentalism
awareness on the critique of developmentalism.
Procedure: Ask participants to volunteer to read out the section on critique of

developmentalism.
• Do you agree with the critique?
• Are there theories that you find irrelevant to your context?
• How can we be cautious while applying the western-based theories in the local
context?
Theories of Development in Early Childhood
Early Childhood
In this module, early childhood is seen as covering zero to six years of age and
comprises infancy (zero to one and half year), toddlerhood (one and half to three
years) and preschool-age (three to six years). Evans et al. (2000) delineate the
following basic principles of development in early childhood:
• Development begins prenatally and learning begins at birth.
• The first eight years of a child’s life form the foundation for all later
development.
• Development and learning occur as a result of the child interacting with people
and objects in his or her environment. For this, it is important for children to
have opportunities through exploration, interaction with materials and imitation
of role models.
• Children’s needs differ across the early childhood years: infancy, toddlerhood
and preschool-age.
In early childhood, children are dependent on adults for all their needs. Young
children need adults to provide food and shelter, to protect them and make them feel
safe. They are also highly reliant on adults to provide the experiences that stimulate
the development of their language and thinking (United Nations Children’s Fund
(UNICEF), 2003).
Major Developments in Infancy
Infancy comprises zero to one and half year of age.

Oral Stage: Most early motor responses appear to be reflexive, meaning that a
specific stimulus evokes a particular motor response without any voluntary control
or direction. It helps the infant to survive, for example, the sucking reflex. Inserting
something in an infant’s mouth produces a sucking reflex that gives him/her
pleasure. This helps the infant gain nourishment. They use sucking and mouthing
also as strategies for tactile exploration of objects before they can identify them
visually (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Development of Attachment: Although there are wide cross-cultural variations in
approaches to infant care and in how attachment behaviour is expressed, the
development of an attachment system with at least one primary caregiver, usually
the biological mother, is universal. Parental consistency and responsiveness, as well
the child’s use of the parent as a secure base, are considered important for the
development of the child’s socio-emotional and cognitive skills during infancy and
childhood. Children with history of secure attachment exhibit better frustration

tolerance, more positive effects and better problem-solving skills in later life than do
children with insecure attachment (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Children use the people to whom they are attached as:
• A safe base from which to explore;
• A source of comfort; and
• A source of encouragement and guidance (Crawford & Walker, 2014).
According to Erikson, in infancy, the main psychosocial ego conflicts focus on
basic trust versus mistrust, depending on whether the infant’s needs are appropri-
ately met.
• Trust: For infants, trust is an emotion—a positive experiential state of confi-
dence that their needs will be met and that they are valued.
• Mistrust: When caregiving is inconsistent, unresponsive and harsh, or when no
primary caregiver exists, the infant develops mistrust. Mistrust may lead to
negative attributes of self. This is evident in children who grow up without
parental care (Newman & Newman, 2009).
To resolve the crisis of trust versus mistrust, an infant must establish a feeling of
mutuality with a caregiver. Such positive resolution of this psychosocial crisis leads
to adaptive ego quality of hope which is the cognitive orientation that one’s goals
and dreams can be attained. Absence of resolution of the crisis leads to withdrawal
of the infant (Newman & Newman, 2009).
During the second half of the first year, two signs of the child’s growing
attachment to a specific person are observed:
• Stranger anxiety: Stranger anxiety is the baby’s discomfort or tension in the
presence of unfamiliar adults.
• Separation anxiety: When their parents leave, babies express rage and despair
due to separation anxiety (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Sensorimotor Development: Infants are equipped at birth with fairly developed
sensory-perceptual systems that allows them to experience most forms of sensory
stimulation available to human beings. They can see, hear, smell, taste and respond
to touch, pain and positional change (Lesser & Pope, 2007). It is hearing rather than
vision that provides the very earliest link between the newborn and his or her mother.
Before birth, the foetus hears the mother’s heartbeat. This sound continues to be
soothing to the infant in the days and weeks after birth (Newman & Newman, 2009).
According to Piaget, from birth to about age two, infants begin to gain control
over their reflexes, muscles and sensory organs:
• They learn to reproduce pleasurable events, first in relation to their own bodies
and then in relation to other people or objects.
• They experiment with objects, picking them up and dropping them, or pulling
them, to watch the effect.
• As they become gradually able to follow objects visually and anticipate their
positions, an awareness of the permanence of objects develops (Robbins et al.,
2006).
Major Developments in Toddlerhood
Anal Stage: According to Freud, the anal stage starts around the 18th month. Now
the anal region gets energised with libido, and the child turns his or her attention to
the pleasures associated with the bowel movements and the faecal products pro-
duced. Guided by id impulses, the child expresses pleasure by handling and
smearing his or her faeces (Dale et al., 2006). Toilet training is the effort to teach
children culturally appropriate way to eliminate human waste. In Freud’s psycho-
analytic theory, toilet training symbolises the conflict between individual autonomy
and social demands of conformity. According to Erikson, in toddlerhood, the main
psychosocial ego conflicts focus on autonomy versus shame/doubt, depending on
acceptance by parents (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Autonomy: During the toddlerhood, children undergo rapid advances in motor,
cognitive, emotional, social and language skills. With greater integration of brain
functions, physical coordination improves, and toddlers spend much time engaged
in a variety of gross and fine motor activities. These developments result in a strong,
biologically based urge to be in control of their actions and develop autonomy over
daily activities such as feeding oneself and controlling one’s bowels (Lesser &
Pope, 2007).
Shame or Doubt: Shame or doubt results when some children fail to develop a
sense of mastery in toddlerhood because of their failure at most attempted tasks or
because of continual discouragement and criticism from parents, or both. Shame is
an intense negative emotion that focuses on a negative evaluation of the self. Early
experience of shaming is often linked to toilet training. In order to avoid shame,
infants may refrain from all kinds of new activities and lack confidence (Newman &
Newman, 2009).
Imitation: The central process to resolve this crisis is imitation, allowing the
child to observe and reproduce the actions, expressions and gestures of the care-
giver. The successful resolution of this crisis leads to will, that is the capacity of the
mind to direct and control action. The emphasis on imitation highlights the central
role of culture of families and communities. This explains the risk faced by children
who grow up in anti-social environment (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Kakar (2008, pp. 116–117) noted that the toddler in India is exempt from
pressure to learn to control his or her bowel movements according to a rigid
schedule of time and place. Soiling of clothes or floor is accepted in a matter-of-fact
way and cleaned up afterwards by the women in the family without shame or
disgust. An Indian child gradually learns to control his or her bowels by imitating
older children and adults in the family as he or she follows them out into the fields
for their morning ablutions. According to him, this relaxed form of toilet training
can contribute to the formation of specific personality traits such as a relative
feeling of timelessness, a relaxed conscience about swing of mood and so on.
Beginning of Self-Concept: Toddlers begin to develop a clear sense of themselves
as autonomous beings and learn through imitation of everything they observe. This
burgeoning sense of themselves as individuals with minds of their own, and their
determination to assert themselves, often lead to behaviours that appear irrational,
negative and out of control. This is due to the fact that despite their desire to control
themselves, toddlers do not yet have well-developed capacities for self-regulation,
and they are easily distressed when parents limit their behaviours in the interest of
their safety. The child gradually develops first self-control, and then, over time, the
ability to internalise parental standards and expectations. It is during this time that
parents begin to raise their expectations for behaviour and to teach the child what is
an acceptable behaviour, and what is not. Nevertheless, the toddler’s sense of right
and wrong remains relatively primitive and is motivated primarily by the wish to
obtain parents’ approval and to avoid punishment (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
According to Kakar (2008), minimal demands are placed on the Indian infant to
master the world around him or her and to learn to function independently of the
mother. Indian culture does not encourage the detachment from the mother by
degrees that is considered essential to the development of a strong, independent
ego, to allow the child to take over his or her mother’s functions in relation to him/
herself. The child’s differentiation of him/herself from the mother (and conse-
quently of the ego from the id) is structurally weaker and comes chronologically
later than in the west. As a result, the mental processes characteristic of the sym-
biosis of infancy play a relatively greater role in the personality of the adult Indian.
Traditionally, in the early years, the mother serves as the child’s ego, mediating his/
her most elementary experiences, until around the age of four.
Language Development: Children start with babbling of sounds common to many
languages and move to sounds they are most likely to hear (ba-ba, ma-ma, etc.).
Receptive language which is the ability to understand words precedes language
production. The typical developmental progression in language competence is
characterised by:
• An acceleration in the production of single words, followed by two-word
combinations;
• A predominance of nouns followed by addition of verbs, adjectives and
prepositions;
• Two-word utterances followed by longer strings of words (Newman &
Newman, 2009).
Major Developments in Preschool-Age
Phallic Stage: According to Freud, the phallic stage starts around age three and
lasts until age six or so. At this time, the genital area becomes the important
erogenous zone. The boys take greater interest in their penis and girls in their
clitoris or vulva (Robbins et al., 2006). In this stage, the main psychosocial ego
conflicts focus on initiative versus guilt.
Initiative: According to Erikson, preschool-age is the locomotor-genital stage
characterised by initiative, leading to creativity and self-esteem. Children’s
relentless curiosity and endless questions about almost everything reflect a strong
urge to understand how the world works (Lesser & Pope, 2007). Initiative is the
active conceptual investigation of the world, in much the same sense that autonomy
is the active physical manipulation of it (Erikson, 1963, cited by Newman &
Newman, 2009).
Guilt: Guilt is an emotion that accompanies the sense that one has been
responsible for an unforgettable thought, fantasy or action (Izard, 1977, cited in
Newman & Newman, 2009). It is usually accompanied by remorse and a desire to
make reparation for real or imagined wrongdoing (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Identification with Parents: Identification with parents is used as the central
process to resolve this conflict. Children emerge from this crisis with the benefit of
the prime ego quality of purpose or the core pathology of inhibition. Purpose is
thought or behaviour with direction, and therefore, with meaning. It is cognitively
more complex extension of the will gained in toddlerhood, in that it combines a
sense of agency with a plan. Inhibition, on the other hand, refers to the restraint or
suppression of unacceptable behaviour (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Development of Self-Concept: In the preschool-age, self is viewed as a collection
of concrete, observable characteristics and typical behaviours and activities. The
self becomes increasingly complex and enhanced through the child’s identification
with the parents and other significant people. In this stage, children begin to con-
ceptualise gender as one dimension of their self-concept and they begin to identify
with the same-sex parent and play with same-sex peers. Hormonal activity together
with social environment promotes gender-typed behaviours (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
In preschool-age, children make substantial progress in their ability to exert
internally based self-control. They gradually begin to internalise parental expecta-
tions and limits; eventually these become part of the child’s own self-concept. By
about the age of six, the process of internalisation of morality results in the for-
mation of the conscience or superego (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Preoperational Cognitive Development: According to Piaget, from age two to
seven, as the use of symbolic thought increases, the child is able to produce mental
symbols that mediate her or his performance:
• Conceptual symbolic behaviour replaces sensorimotor behaviour.
• Although perception still dominates over reason, behaviour sequence can now
be played out mentally rather than just physically.
• Piaget further divided the preoperational phase into two subperiods: the
pre-conceptual period from two to four year of age and the intuitive period from
four to seven years of age.
• The pre-conceptual period is characterised by the development of language

and imaginative play.
• During the intuitive period, there is emergence of skills in the areas of
numbers, classification and interrelationships. In addition, behaviour even-
tually becomes less egocentric and more social (Robbins et al., 2006).
Development of Peer Relationships: During the preschool-age, child’s social
world expands and peer interactions become increasingly important. As children
increasingly value spending time with peers and gaining their acceptance, they are
motivated to develop skills in perspective taking, sharing and negotiation as means
of maintaining their friendships (Lesser & Pope, 2007). In preschool-age, chil-
dren’s friendship groups are likely to be segregated by sex (Newman & Newman,
2009).
Types of Play: Although children play because it is fun, it contributes to virtually
all areas of children’s development (Sigelman & Rider, 2006). Parten (1932, cited
in Sigelman & Rider, 2006) classified the types of play engaged in by nursery
school children from two to five years of age. Her six categories of activity,
arranged from least to most social, are as follows:
1. Unoccupied play: children stand idly, look around or engage in apparently
aimless activities such as pacing.
2. Solitary play: children play alone, typically with objects, and appear to be highly
involved in what they are doing.
3. Onlooker play: children watch others play, taking an active interest in and
perhaps even talking to the players but not directly participating.
4. Parallel play: children play next to one another, doing much the same thing, but
they interact little.
5. Associative play: children interact by swapping materials, conversing or fol-
lowing each other’s lead, but they are not untied by the same goal.
6. Cooperative play: Children join forces to achieve a common goal; they act as a
pair or groups, dividing their labour and coordinating their activities in a
meaningful way.
Pretend Play: Advancements in cognition that allow children to represent an
action in memory and then copy what they remember leads to the development of
pretend play. Erikson saw the value of pretend play in supporting social and per-
sonality development. In his view, dramatisation of psychological struggles pro-
vides relief from tension and affords children the freedom to explore confusing or
distressing experiences without the pressures of having to make themselves
understood through language or to adhere to social expectations for behaviour
(Lesser & Pope, 2007). Examples of pretend plays are playing ‘household’ and
playing ‘doctor’.
Group Games: In preschool-age, children also show interest in group games
that are more structured and somewhat more oriented to reality than play that is
based primarily on imagination. Examples of group games in this age group are
hide and seek, statue and similar local games. Group games usually include a few
rules that are simple enough so that a child can use them effectively to begin a game
and determine a winner without the help of an adult (Newman & Newman, 2009,
p. 261).
Theories of Development in Middle Childhood
Major Developments in Middle Childhood
Middle childhood is the period from six until puberty, which could be around
10 years of age. At this time, children would generally be studying in primary
schools. In this period, children continue to grow and mature but at a slower rate
than in early childhood. Moreover, they increasingly enter the world outside the
family and take on new challenges (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Psychosexual Latency Stage: According to Freud, middle childhood is the latency
stage which begins with start of school and lasts until puberty, at 11 for girls and 13
for boys. In this stage, the child acquires good ego-based defence structure and the
power of the id-related sexual impulses become latent. Children identify with the
same-sex parent, and superego becomes strengthened as parental values continue to
be incorporated (Robbins et al., 2006).
Industry: According to Erikson, industry or the eagerness to acquire skills and
perform meaningful work and a person’s fundamental attitude towards work is
established during middle childhood. Each new skill allows the child some degree
of independence and may even bring new responsibilities that heighten his or her
sense of self-worth (Newman & Newman, 2009). Kowaz and Marcia (1991, cited in
Newman & Newman, 2009) described the construct of industry as comprising of
the following three dimensions:
1. The cognitive component of industry was defined as the acquisition of the basic
skills and knowledge that are valued by the culture.
2. The affective component of industry was defined as the positive emotional
orientation towards the acquisition and application of skills and knowledge,
such as general curiosity and desire to know, a pride in one’s efforts, and an
ability to handle the distresses of failure as well as the joys of success.
3. The behavioural component of industry was defined as the ability to apply the
skills and knowledge effectively through characteristics such as concentration,
perseverance, work habits and goal directedness.
Inferiority: In contrast to industry are feelings of inferiority, worthlessness and
inadequacy. Children who cannot master certain skills experience some feeling of
inferiority. For example, in the same class, the younger children may have a hard
time competing with the slightly older children. The social environment does not
reinforce success in different intelligences equally. Social comparisons are com-
mon, and negative value is placed on failure because of external standards of
success. Extreme cases of inferiority result in reluctance, self-doubt and withdrawal
Education: The central process to resolve this crisis is education, different from
schooling. An integral approach to providing a successful educational environment
for all children is to contextualise learning. In such education, classroom activities
make meaningful connections with students’ lives outside the school. Successful
resolution of this crisis leads to competence. If the crisis is not resolved, inertia
develops as the core pathology of middle childhood. Inertia makes children passive
and withdrawn. They have trouble initiating action or changing the course of events
in their lives. As a result, they cannot address challenges or problems by formu-
lating plans and executing them (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Development of Concrete Cognitive Operations: According to Piaget, from age
seven to 11, reason takes primacy over perception. Children gain two cognitive
operations necessary for logical thought: reversibility and compensation:
• With reversibility, children gain the ability to reverse, or undo an action in their
mind.
• When they acquire compensation, they are able to decentre their perceptions and
focus on more than one aspect at a time.
With these operations, logic and objectivity increase and reasoning can be
applied to observable, concrete problems.
As deductive thinking begins, children gain cognitive skills for:
• Conservation: the recognition that properties of an object do not change when its
appearance is altered,
• Seriation: the ability to arrange items according to their increasing or decreasing
size,
• Classification: the ability to group objects into categories and subcategories
according to their characteristics and,
• Transitivity: the ability to understand reciprocal concepts (Robbins et al., 2006).
Development of Executive Functions: Kagan (1984, cited in Lesser & Pope,
2007) characterised executive functions as skills in approaching and thinking about
problems. He included the following as executive functions:
• Ability to articulate a problem and generate ideas about how to solve it;
• Knowing cognitive strategies that help in problem-solving and when to use
them;
• Having a more flexible approach to problem-solving;
• A longer attention span;
• Better control of anxiety;
• The ability to monitor one’s own performance;

• Faith in one’s ability to think about problems; and
• Awareness of one’s shortcomings in thinking about problem-solving.
The executive function of the brain develops during middle childhood, although
executive skills do not reach complete development until late adolescence (Lesser
& Pope, 2007).
Learning Disabilities: According to Lesser and Pope (2007), learning disabilities
are neurobehavioral disorders which are a result of the linkage between brain
dysfunction and behavioural manifestations. These disabilities are genetically
acquired and stay with the person throughout life. Dyslexia is a language-based
learning disability. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or attention
deficit disorder (ADD) is another learning disability, the major symptoms of which
are age-inappropriate inattention and hyperactivity–impulsivity (according to the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (DSM IV)).
As children enter schools, early signs of various learning disorders may become
apparent towards the end of early childhood and beginning of middle childhood.
Young children may show deficits in speech and language development, reasoning
abilities and other capacities necessary for the acquisition of early academic skills.
Increased awareness of genetic and developmental risk factors as well as the
availability of brief screening tests makes early identification of children at risk for
some learning disabilities possible. Children with executive function disorders such
as ADHD may begin to exhibit difficulties as the demands for these types of
functions increase. It is extremely important to ensure that the environment does not
continue to make demands that the biological system of the individual cannot meet.
Moreover, these children need environmental accommodations, modifications in
expectations and parental support in order to achieve mastery and feel successful
(Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Development of Gender Identity: While in early childhood, cross-dressing and
cross-gender behaviours are often tolerated, in middle childhood, children are
expected to conform to traditional binary categories of gender—male and female.
This could create feelings of confusion and an internalised sense of deviance for
those who cannot quite fit into their assigned genders. Therefore, children, who are
later self-identified as transgendered, struggle with development of gender identity
in middle childhood (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Peers and Friendships: In middle childhood, children’s social reference changes
from family to the peer group with whom they spend more time in schools.
Children often desire to be popular among their peers and become keenly aware of
who the popular children are. Peers provide the context within which friendships
are developed. Friendship is a mutually reciprocal relationship between one or more
children based on common interests and concrete activities. Children need support
and encouragement (and not interference) from sensitive adults as they struggle to
find their own place among peers and friends (Lesser & Pope, 2007). In middle
childhood, boys and girls become members of same-sex cliques, or small friendship
groups, and have little to do with the other sex (Sigelman & Rider, 2006).
Children learn the following lessons from daily interactions with their peers:
• An increasing appreciation of the many points of view represented in the peer
group.
• Conformation to the social norms and pressures of their peer group for peer
approval.
• Making of close friends with same-sex peers characterised by high levels of
shared activity, companionship, help or guidance, and ease of conflict
resolution.
Parents can influence their children’s social competence and acceptance by peers
in the following ways:
1. Through face-to-face interactions with the child and other family members;
2. Providing children with direct social information such as coaching and emo-
tional advice;
3. Facilitating contact with other children;
4. Engaging their children in organised activities; and
5. Monitoring their children’s friends and whereabouts (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Team Play: During middle childhood, a new dimension is added to the quality of a
child’s play as children begin to participate in team sports. As a result, they gain a
sense of team success as well as personal success. Team sports are generally more
complicated than the kinds of group games children played in the preschool-age.
The rules are so complex that they may require a referee or an umpire if they are to
be followed accurately. Team membership carries with it awareness that one’s acts
may affect the success or failure of the entire group. This provides lessons in
interdependence, division of labour and cooperation (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Activities
Activity 7.4: Small Group Discussion on Development in Early and Middle

Childhood
theories of development in early and middle childhood by applying them to self and
drawing implications for practice.

1. Form four small groups and allocate the following childhood stages among them
for discussion: (1) infancy, (2) toddlerhood, (3) preschool-age and (4) middle
childhood.
2. Ask the small groups to Summary Charts 7.4, 7.5, 7.6 and 7.7, respectively, and
conclude with implications for practice with children in the field.
3. The small groups can make their presentation to the large group.
Theories of Development in Adolescence
Concepts and Age Group of Adolescence
Concepts of Adolescence and Youth: According to Jones (2009), terms like

youths, young people, young adults, youngsters, kids, adolescents, teenagers and so
on are often used synonymously. The term ‘adolescence’ is used mainly by psy-
chologists to denote the period between the onset of puberty and adulthood and,
being related to the teenage years, is relatively inflexible. The term ‘youth’ is
associated with the period between leaving school and becoming adult in
socio-economic terms. He further notes that the move from a psychological to a
sociological approach to youth began with explorations of how young people fit
into social structures. This involved a shift in terminology from adolescence to
youth. This section focuses on adolescence.
Age Group of Adolescence: Puberty generally starts at the age of 10 years and
according to the UNCRC, adulthood starts at the age of 18 years. Thus, as a legal
category, adolescence is subsumed in childhood and does not exist independently.
Adolescence needs to be considered a stage that characterises the transition between
childhood and adulthood. According to UNICEF (2011), adolescence can be
divided into two parts: early adolescence (10–14 years) and late adolescence
(15–19 years) as there are marked differences between the two (UNICEF, 2011).
Age Group of Youth: The UN, for statistical consistency across regions, defines
‘youth’, as those persons between the ages of 15 and 24 years (http://www.unesco.
org/new/en/social-and-human-sciences/themes/youth/youth-definition/). Thus,
‘childhood’ as well as ‘youth’ includes ‘adolescence’.
Major Developments in Adolescence
During adolescence, the earlier developmental crises that adolescents must rework
are as follows:
1. Establishing trust in the larger world as opposed to the primary caregivers;
2. Establishing autonomy for choosing one’s path;
3. Taking initiative for setting goals for oneself; and

4. Industry, which brings independence and taking responsibility for one’s goals
and for the quality of one’s work (Lesser & Pope, 2007).
Puberty and Sexuality: Pubertal changes occur by a steady process of changing
hormonal activity resulting in maturation of physiological mechanisms, a growth
spurt and the development of secondary sex characteristics. Menarche or onset of
the menstrual cycle is comparatively a late event in girls’ pubertal development
(Lesser & Pope, 2007). These external changes can be a source of anxiety as well as
excitement or pride for the individual whose body is undergoing the transformation
(UNICEF, 2011). Adolescent girls go through body dissatisfaction due to social
pressures to be thin. In an attempt to attain a thin ideal and to reduce negative
feelings about themselves, some begin a process of strict and often faddish dieting
or go through what is called anorexia nervosa. On the other hand, adolescent boys
feel awkward and uncoordinated for a time as growth does not take place at the
same rate in all parts of the body (Newman & Newman, 2009). It is important to
note that there are large individual differences in the timing of physical and sexual
maturation that make adolescents self-conscious about their appearance (Sigelman
& Rider, 2006).
Genital Stage and Sexual Feelings: Although infants and children are sexual
beings, sexuality assumes far greater importance once puberty or sexual maturity is
achieved. According to Freud, the genital stage starts with the onset of puberty
when sexual feelings swell that were dormant during middle childhood. The child is
now ready with the sexual organs to release their sexual impulses (Dale et al.,
2006). Youngsters at this stage of development are often flooded with new, socially
unacceptable sexual and aggressive feelings that require time for processing.
Difficulties arise when the ego is either too immature to handle the developing
sexual impulses or the id impulses overcome the ability of the ego to negotiate the
profound changes taking place during this period. The defiant type of adolescent
behaviour may be seen as attempts to regain emotional stability (Lesser & Pope,
2007).
Adolescence is marked by romantic feelings of love and tenderness, sexual
fantasies and sexual behaviours that could be traced partly to biological changes
and partly to the socio-cultural contexts (Newman & Newman, 2009). Adolescents
tend to use words like ‘fallen in love’, ‘have a crush’, ‘being infatuated’ and so on
to express their ideas of romantic feelings. Typically, romantic feelings refer to
feelings of passion, sexual attraction and excitement (The Population Council,
2011). The role of popular media is significant as it is full of images of the
dreaminess, preoccupation, shyness, self-consciousness and sexual awakening of
adolescents in love (Collins, 2003).
Sexual and Romantic Relationships: According to Collins (2003), romantic

relationships are dyadic in nature. They are like friendships, ongoing voluntary
interactions that are mutually acknowledged, rather than identified by only one
member of a pair. Romantic relationships find expression in the form of affection,
including physical intimacy and sexual behaviour. Given the social taboos often
surrounding puberty, it is particularly important to give early adolescents all the
information they need to protect themselves against HIV, other sexually transmitted
infections, early pregnancy, sexual violence and exploitation. For too many chil-
dren, such knowledge becomes available too late, if at all, when the course of their
lives has already been affected and their development and well-being undermined
(UNICEF, 2011).
Sexual Orientation: For most adolescents, romance involves members of the

opposite sex. However, in adolescence, some may experience a period of sexual
questioning during which they sometimes report emotional and sexual attractions to
members of the same sex. While these experiences could simply be a part of the
larger process of sexual identity formation, there are adolescents who identify
themselves as homosexuals (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2007). This identification occurs in
mid-adolescence but not until young adulthood do most homosexuals express their
sexual orientation publicly (D’Augelli, 1996, cited in Kail & Cavanaugh, 2007).
Peer Groups and Friendships: Coleman (1961, cited in Jones, 2009) suggested
that the school system created circumstances in which adolescents were forced
inwards towards their own age group and developed a society among themselves,
with its own norms and status system, barely connected with adult society. James
and James (2012) note that moving away from the family the youth (adolescents)
may move towards the peer group as the increasingly dominant reference point for
behaviours, values and attitudes. Relationships with peers take centre stage in
adolescence. When separating from the primary attachment adult figures, peers
serve as attachment figures for adolescents. This process involves a transformation
from the more hierarchical attachment relationships to more equal relationships.
While the peer group works alongside the family and school in structuring the
pathways between childhood and adulthood, it differs from them in a number of
ways:
1. Peer groups are less authoritarian.
2. They are informal so allow a wider a wider range of subject matter to be tackled.
3. They become a testing ground for new ideas and values generated in periods of
rapid social change.
4. They are a site for the exploration of independence (Wyness, 2012).
Adolescents tend to choose friends from their own class and racial groups.
Cross-sex friendships become common, often putting lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgendered youth at risk for verbal and physical harassment. Peer pressure in
adolescence can be seen as a reflexive desire to please peers just as the adolescent
had once pleased parents during the earlier developmental phases (Lesser & Pope,
2007). In adolescence, the boy cliques and the girl cliques begin to interact with
each other and heterosexual cliques develop. Just as parents provide a secure base
for peer relationships, relationships with the same-sex peers provide a secure base
for romantic relationships with the opposite sex (Sigelman & Rider, 2006).
Identity Development: According to Erikson, in puberty and adolescence, the

main task is identity development. He described adolescence as second toddler-
hood. The adolescent strives to maximise his or her individuality and control while
struggling with the reality of his or her dependent position. Erikson felt that the
danger of this developmental stage is identity diffusion or confusion as opposed to
the development of a secure identity (Lesser & Pope, 2007). Adolescents struggle to
develop a sexual/gender identity, age/generation identity, ethnic identity, peer
identity and vocational identity.
Sexual/Gender Identity: It is during early adolescence that girls and boys
become more keenly aware of their gender than they were as younger children, and
they may make adjustments to their behaviour or appearance in order to fit in with
perceived norms. They may also feel confused about their own personal and sexual
identity (UNICEF, 2011).
Ethnic Identity: Ethnic identity is a group identity. It is not only knowing that
one is a member of a certain ethnic group but recognising that some aspects of
one’s thoughts, feelings and actions are influenced by one’s ethnic identity. Ethnic
identity varies across ethnic groups and among individuals within groups with
reference to how significant is one’s ethnic group as a reference group, and how far
its values, outlook and goals are taken into account as one makes important life
choices (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Whether in collectivistic or individualistic cultures, tensions arise between the
desires for individuality represented by ‘I’ and connection represented by ‘We’.
Adolescents confront the new psychosocial conflict of group identity versus
alienation (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Group Identity: As an adolescent prepares to engage in the larger social world,
a positive sense of group identity provides confidence that he/she is meaningfully
connected to society (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Alienation: On the other hand, alienation develops from dilemmas associated
with issues of common identity (Newman & Newman, 2009). Alienation refers to a
sense of social estrangement, an absence of social support or meaningful social
connection (Mau, 1992, cited in Newman & Newman, 2009). Alienation may occur
when children are exposed to group expectations to which they are not used to. This
may happen with children from families that are in ethnic minority in a society.
Alienation may also result from personality characteristics such as shyness or lack
of sociability (Newman & Newman, 2009).
Peer Pressure: The central process used to resolve the psychosocial crisis of
group identity versus alienation is peer pressure. Peer pressure refers to demands for
conformity to group norms and demonstration of commitment and loyalty to group
members. The process of affiliating with a peer group requires an adolescent to
accept the pressure and social influence imposed by it. This process provides the
context in which the crisis of group identification is resolved (Newman & Newman,
2009).
Social Experimentation and Risk-Taking: James and James (2012) note that
linked to the throwing over the relative conformity of childhood, adolescence may
involve testing the established conventions of adulthood. According to them, it is
no accident that delinquency is most commonly a term associated with youth.
UNICEF (2011) notes that risk-taking in adolescence is fuelled by a psychological
need to explore boundaries as part of the development of their individual identity. It
leads many adolescents to experiment with alcohol and drugs without sufficient
understanding of the potential damage to health or of other long-term consequences
of dependency. Adolescents experiment with sexual behaviour, sometimes making
informed decisions about protection from pregnancy and sexually transmittable
infections (STIs) and at other times without such planning or consent (Sigelman &
Rider, 2006, p. 344). Usually, the earlier the transition into sexual activity and
intercourse, the more likely the act is to be part of a profile of high-risk behaviours
like alcohol or drug use or delinquent activity (Newman & Newman, 2009, p. 343).
Cigarette smoking and experimentation with drugs and alcohol are often
embraced in adolescence and then carried through into adulthood. The flip side of
the explosive brain development that occurs during adolescence is that it can be
seriously and permanently impaired by the excessive use of drugs and alcohol. Peer
expectations for alcohol and drug use may become a criterion for peer group
acceptance and therefore lead to initiation into substance use (Newman & Newman,
2009). Other risk factors that contribute to alcohol or drug use are presence of a
parent/significant other consuming alcohol, easy availability and access, cost, direct
and subliminal marketing, legal policies about the minimum age to start drinking
and so on (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2003).
Development of Formal Cognitive Operations: According to Piaget, from age 11

to 15 (early adolescence), abstract thought and scientific reasoning emerge.
Problems are now approached using logic, reason and combinational thought.
Hypothetical reasoning and a growing appreciation of interactions among multiple
factors are now possible. There is also greater importance attached to a
language-based system of representation. They can operate not only on concrete
objects and events but also on ideas (Shaffer 1993, cited in Robbins et al., 2006).
Keating (1990, cited in Lesser & Pope, 2007) described the following five ways
in which adolescent thinking is different from that of middle childhood:
1. Adolescents think more about alternative possibilities that may not readily be
apparent.
2. They think ahead more often and systematically than younger children.
3. They develop cognitive ability to think through hypotheses and contemplate a
wider range of scenarios.
4. They can think about their own thought processes and engage in second-order
thinking.
5. They develop the ability to think beyond conventional limits and consider and
debate issues such as morality, politics and religion.
Recent neuroscientific research indicates that in these early adolescent years, the
brain undergoes a spectacular burst of electrical and physiological development.
The number of brain cells can almost double in the course of a year, while neural
networks are radically reorganised, with a consequent impact on emotional,
physical and mental ability. The more advanced physical and sexual development
of girls—who enter puberty on average 12–18 months earlier than boys—is mir-
rored by similar trends in brain development. The frontal lobe, the part of the brain
that governs reasoning and decision-making, starts to develop during early ado-
lescence. Because this development starts later and takes longer in boys, their
tendency to act impulsively and to be uncritical in their thinking lasts longer than in
girls. This phenomenon contributes to the widespread perception that girls mature
much earlier than boys (UNICEF, 2011).
Activities
Activity 7.5: Small Group Discussion on Development in Adolescence
theories of development in adolescence by applying them to one’s own adolescence
and drawing implications for practice with adolescents.

a. What do you mean by adolescence?
b. When does adolescence start?
c. How is this stage different from the previous stages?
2. Make four small groups and allocate the following topics among them:
(1) Puberty and sexuality,
(2) Peer groups and friendships,
(3) Identity development, and
(4) Social experimentation and risk-taking.
3. Ask the small groups to read the relevant notes and discuss the same with
reference to the major developmental tasks in adolescence and possible prob-
lems if these tasks are not met. Conclude with implications for practice in the
field.
4. The small groups can make their presentation to the large group for further
inputs.
5. Show Summary Chart 7.8 to summarise developmental tasks and possible
problems in adolescence.
• Did you find the theories relevant and appropriate to adolescents you know?
• Are the theories useful for application in the field?


Summary Chart 7.1 Development stages in childhood
Development Stage Age Group School-Going Status

Prenatal Stage Conception-Birth -
Early Childhood: Birth-6 years -
• Infancy and 0–1 ½ years -
• Toddlerhood 1 ½ –3 years -
• Preschool Age 3–6 years Preschool
Middle Childhood 6 –10 years Primary School

Early Adolescence 10–16 years Secondary School
Late Adolescence 16–18 years Higher Secondary School/

Junior College
Summary Chart 7.2 Psychosocial stages in childhood, psychosocial crises and

central processes
(Adapted from Newman and Newman, 2009, pp. 27 and 30)
Life Stage Developmental Psychosocial Crises Central Process to

Stage resolve the Crisis
Infancy Oral-sensory Trust versus Mistrust Mutuality with
caregiver
Toddlerhood Muscular-anal Autonomy versus Imitation
Shame and Doubt
Preschool-Age Locomotor- Initiative versus Guilt Identification
genital
Middle Latency Industry versus Education
Childhood Inferiority
Adolescence Group Identity versus Peer pressure/
Role Confusion/ experimentation
Alienation
Summary Chart 7.3 Concept, determinants and domains of child development
Determinants of Child Development
Heredity Environment
Child Development
Physical CogniƟve Psychosocial
Development Development Development
Summary Chart 7.4 Developmental tasks, needs and possible problems in

infancy
Main Developmental Needs of Children in Problems if the Needs
Tasks of Children Infancy to meet the of the Developmental
in Infancy Developmental Tasks Tasks are not met in
Infancy
• Have sucking reflexes • Satisfaction of • Prolonged thumb-
for pleasure, sucking reflexes and sucking.
nourishment and responsive feeding. • Eating problems.
exploration.
• Use people to whom • At least one primary • Problems developing

they are attached as a caregiver who is attachments and trusts
safe base from which consistent and in all their relationships.
to explore the responsive for • Development of
environment. development of negative attributes and
• Develop trust in the secure mutuality of withdrawal.
caregiver and the attachment, trust and • Weak frustration
environment. hope. tolerance and problem-
solving skills.

toddlerhood

Tasks of Children in Toddlerhood to meet of the Developmental
Toddlerhood the Developmental Tasks are not met in
Tasks Toddlerhood
• Gets pleasure • Acceptance of pleasure • Feelings of shame
associated with bowel with bowel movements • Problems with bowel
movements and fecal and fecal products and movements.
products. prevention of shame
• Develop self-control regarding the same.
over bowel movements.
• Make advances in a • Gradual autonomy over • Feelings of doubt and
variety of gross and their actions. low self-esteem,
fine motor activities. refrain from creativity
• Develop a clear sense and lack confidence.
of self wanting
autonomy over one’s
actions.
• Develop self-control • Facilitate self-control • Eating-related
over eating. over eating. problems.
• Want parental • Parents/primary • If parents/primary
approval so learn caregivers as role caregivers have
acceptable behaviour models. behavioural problems,
from parents/primary the child may develop
caregivers by the same behavioural
imitation. pattern.
• Learn to communicate • One-to-one • Difficulty in
through language. conversation, communicating
story-telling, reading through language.
books together, enhance
language skills.

preschool-age
Tasks of Children in Preschool-Age to meet of the Developmental
Preschool-Age the Developmental Tasks are not met in
Tasks Preschool-Age
• Develop conceptual- • A range of basic • Problems with the
symbolic behaviour to learning opportunities foundation of physical,
replace sensorimotor for physical, mental mental and social
behaviour. and social learning development.
• Develop skills in the through play-based
• Problems being ready
areas of language, preschools.
for formal school
imagination, numbers, education.
classification and
interrelationships
• Develop social skills • Peers of similar age • Problems developing
through language and group in preschools social skills and peer
play through peer and neighbourhood relationships.
relationships. for communication
and play.
• Develop a sense of • Encouragement of • Lack of creativity and
initiative, leading to initiative, creativity self-esteem and
creativity, self-esteem and purpose. development of a sense
and purpose. of guilt and inhibitions.
• Identify with parents • Parents/primary • Confused self-concept
to develop self-concept, caregivers as role and gender identity.
gender identity, models. • Weak conscience, self-
conscience, self-control control and acceptable
and acceptable behaviour.
behaviour.

middle childhood

Tasks of Children in Middle Childhood to for the Developmental
Middle Childhood meet the Developmental Tasks are not met in
Tasks Middle Childhood
• Develop a range of • Formal education. • May not enroll in
cognitive skills of school or drop out
thinking and from school.
reasoning.
• Develop one or more • Recognition of • Problems of not being
of the multiple multiple-intelligences considered intelligent.
intelligences. in formal education.
• Industry or eagerness • Successful educational • Feelings of inferiority,
and desire to acquire environment to worthlessness,
knowledge and skills, develop competence inadequacy and self-
attitudes and habits in knowledge and doubt.
toward education and skills, attitudes and • Problem of inertia
work. habits. leading to passiveness
and withdrawal.
• Learning disability if • Environmental • Learning disabilities
any manifests itself. accommodations, may create problems
modifications in in succeeding in
expectations and schools.
parental support.
• Development of • Recognition of the • Feelings of confusion
gender identity. range of sex and and internalized sense
gender identities and of deviance with
understand one’s own reference to gender
gender identity. identity.
• Reference point • Acceptance, guidance • Alienation from peers.
change from family and monitoring by
to peer group. parents.
• Need to make friends • Conformation to the
and find own place social norms of the
among peers. peer group.

adolescence
Main Developmental Needs in Adolescence Problems if the Needs

Tasks in Adolescence to meet the for the Developmental
Developmental Tasks Tasks are not met in
Adolescence
• Growth spurt and • Understand and • Awkwardness and
development of develop positive self-consciousness
secondary sexual attitudes to sexual with sexual changes
characteristics. changes in the in the body.
body. • Faddish dieting.
• Sexual fantasies, • Guidance to accept the • Premature sexual
romantic feelings and sexual feelings and relationships based on
infatuations are sexual orientation. infatuations.
common.
• Sexual and romantic • Knowledge for • Sexual relationships
feelings may lead to protection in sexual without protection,
sexual and romantic and romantic leading to pregnancy
relationships. relationships. or STIs.
• Develop a sexual/ • Facilitation of identity • Development of a
gender identity, ethnic development confused identity.
identity and vocational
identity. • May feel alienation,
social estrangement
• Develop a group and absence of social
identity with peers to support.
provide connectedness.
• Children’s social • Guidance for self- • Conflicts with parents.
reference changes direction and
from family to the independence from
peer group with whom the parents while
they spend more time maintaining mutually
in schools. satisfying relations
with them.
• Deal with negative • Understand the • Problems of substance
peer pressures. consequences of social abuse
• Moving from the experimentation and • Teenage pregnancy or
relative conformity of risk-taking behaviours. STIs.
childhood, adolescence • Learn assertiveness to
may involve testing the say no to negative
established conventions peer pressures.
of adulthood leading to
social experimentation
and risk-taking
behaviours such as
substance use and
unprotected sexual
relationships.
• Establish same-sex • Development of • Problems of not being
and opposite-sex social skills. prepared for adult
friendships. commitment to a
sexual partner.
Exercise for Activity 7.1: Effects of Heredity and Environment on one’s

Childhood
Effects of Physical Cognitive Psychosocial
Development Development Development
Genetic Inheritance
Influence of the
Family Environment
Child Rearing by the
Primary Caregiver
Learning Experiences
Participation by Self
Acknowledgements This module is adapted from part of the following chapter in a book by the
author: Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 1: Theories of Child Development and Vulnerability in
Childhood. In A Rights-Based Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood.
References
Crawford, K., & Walker, J. (2014). Social work and human development (3rd ed.). London: Sage.
Collins, A. W. (2003). More than myth: The developmental significance of romantic relationships
during adolescence. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 13(1), 1–24.
Dale, O., Smith, R., Norlin, J. M., & Chess, W. A. (2006). Human behavior and the social
environment: Social systems theory (5th ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn and Bacon.
Evans, J. L., Myers, R. G., & llfeld, E. (2000). Early childhood counts: A programming guide on
early childhood care for development. Washington, DC: The World Bank.
Inter-Agency Working Group on Children’s Participation. (2008). Children as active citizens:
Commitments and obligations for children’s civil rights and civic engagement in East Asia and
the pacific: A policy and programme guide. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/eapro/
Children_as_Active_Citizens_A4_book.pdf.
Kail, R. V., & Cavanaugh, J. C. (2007). Human development a life span view (4th ed.). Canada:
Thomson Learning Inc.
Kakar, S. (2008). The inner world: A psychoanalytic study of childhood and society in India (4th
ed.). New Delhi: Oxford University Press.
National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2003). Preventing drug use among children and adolescents.
A research based guide for parents, educators and community leaders (2nd ed.). Maryland:
Author. Retrieved from https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/Archive/218996NCJRS.pdf.
The Population Council. (2011). It’s all one curriculum: Guidelines and activities for a unified
approach to sexuality, gender, HIV, and human rights education. New York: Author.
Robbins, S. P., Chatterjee, P., & Canda, E. R. (2006). Contemporary human behavior theory: A
critical perspective for social work (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn and Bacon.
Schriver, J. M. (2004). Human behavior and the social environment: Shifting paradigms in
essential knowledge for social work practice (4th ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn and Bacon.
Thomson.
United Nations Children’s Fund. (2003). Working with children in unstable situations: Principles
and concepts to guide psychosocial responses. Retrieved from http://www.essex.ac.uk/
armedcon/story_id/Workingwithchildren_Guide[1][1].PM6.pdf.
United Nations Children’s Fund. (2011). The state of the world’s children 2011: Adolescence: An
age of opportunity. New York: Author. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/sowc2011/pdfs/
SOWC-2011-Main-Report _EN_02092011.pdf.
Module 8
Ecological Theories of Family
and Childhood Diversity
Introduction to Ecological Theories of Family

and Childhood Diversity
Systems Theory and Childhood
A system can be defined as an aggregate of interrelated and interconnected elements

and activities that form an identifiable, organised and functioning whole. One
cannot understand a system by simply understanding each of its parts in isolation
from one another as the subsystems depend on each other and are affected by one
another. All systems tend towards equilibrium, which is a prerequisite for the
continuance of a system achieved by a balance of various forces within and outside
of a system. A system’s environment is composed of all things that are external to
the system, and it includes everything that may affect the system and may be
affected by it at any given time (Sheafor & Horejsi, 2006). Bronfenbrenner (1979,
cited in Newman & Newman, 2009) defined the environment as an interlocking
system of micro-, meso-, exo- and macro-systems.
The systems in the child’s environment that influence childhood can be under-
stood as follows:
• A child’s immediate micro-system is generally first the family, then the school.
• A child’s meso-system is the family’s immediate environment, comprising of the
ethnic/kinship community, neighbourhood, natural environment, work place,
school/college, friends, media and so on, in which the family is embedded.
• A child’s exo-systems comprise of the eco-political systems of state, corporate
sector and the market that influence the family and the child indirectly.
• A child’s macro-system is the larger international eco-political contexts in which
all these systems are embedded.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_8
216 8 Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood Diversity
Importance of Family in Childhood: The family may be broadly defined as a unit

of two or more persons united by ties of marriage, blood, adoption or consensual
unions, generally constituting a single household, and interacting and communi-
cating with each other (Desai, 1994, p. 16). Every individual has a family of
orientation or family of origin as it is the family he/she is born into. Most indi-
viduals also form a family of procreation, mostly by marriage and childbearing and
sometimes by consensual relationships, reproductive technologies or adoption
(Collins, Jordan, & Coleman, 2007). The socio-cultural aspects of family are
inseparable parts of children’s identity, name, language, ethnicity, religion and
nationality and therefore the child’s socialisation. The family’s socio-economic
aspects play a major role in children’s survival, health, education, development and
protection (Desai, 1994).
Family’s Environment: Family’s environment comprises the following:
• The family’s micro-system is its immediate environment comprising the ethnic/
kinship and neighbourhood community, natural environment, work place,
school/college, friends, media, etc.
• The family’s meso-systems are the state, corporate sector and the market, which
influence the family indirectly.
• The family’s macro-systems are the larger international eco-political contexts in
which these systems are embedded.
Diversity and change in the environment brings variations in family life which,
in turn, explains differences in children’s well-being to a large extent (Desai, 1994).
Community: The main micro-system of the family is its immediate environment
comprising the community. A community is a collective of people, including indi-
viduals, groups, organisations and families that have shared interests; regular inter-
action to fulfil the shared interests through informal and formally organised means;
and some degree of mutual identification among members as belonging to the col-
lective (Schriver, 2004, p. 9). Communities are important to children’s lives. After
the family, the community provides the immediate environment in which children
grow and develop. As the domain in which people share common resources (space,
natural environment, resources, infrastructure, institutions, agency), a community
has an important function in the provision of the immediate protective and devel-
opmental environment for children (Child Protection Working Group Sudan, 2012).
Families’ ability to provide care and protection for children depends on having a
secure, protective environment, and access to child and family supports at the
community level. The community is a crucial source of potential support, since it
includes friends, neighbours, traditional leaders, elders, teachers, youth groups,
religious leaders and others who provide valuable care and protection. Also,
communities are key points of intersection between the government and civil
society (Wessels, 2009).
Family Boundary: Boundary is the condition that defines the system and sets it
apart from its environment. In relation to families, the boundary pertains to patterns
of interaction between family and other systems in the environment that are dif-
ferent from patterns of interaction within the family. Family identity is the boundary
that separates it from other systems in the environment. It is formed by its structure,
ethnic background and financial status. Ethnic background includes race, religion,
regional background and mother tongue (Desai, 1994). The boundary affects the
flow of inputs and outputs of information and energy between the system and its
environment through permeability. Accordingly, boundaries can range on a con-
tinuum of closeness to openness. Social systems are more open than physical
systems. An open system and its environment are more highly interrelated than a
closed system. The family as a semi-closed, semi-open system is perceived to open
selectively to engage in transactions with other such systems (White & Klein,
2008). A family with highly closed boundaries can have difficulties adjusting with
its environment. On the other extreme, a family with very open boundaries can have
difficulties maintaining an identity and family privacy.
Family Equilibrium and Adaptation: All systems tend towards equilibrium,
which is a prerequisite for the continuance of a system achieved by a balance of
various forces within and outside of a system. The family is in the position of
middle management. On the one hand, it must meet the demands of the larger
society, carrying values and norms of behaviour; on the other hand, it must tend to
the needs, performance and morale of its individual members. The requirements
from above and below may not be congruent (Hartman & Laird, 1983). When the
family and/or its environment cannot adapt to each other, there exists a state of
disequilibrium between the two. Families as systems are vulnerable to disequilib-
rium because of changes internally induced by their members and their own
developmental processes and/or because of the turbulent and changing nature of
their external environment (Zimmerman, 2001).
If too many demands are placed on the system at one time, it produces system
stress. The system may employ a variety of responses to manage demand overload
and avoid system stress. To survive, a system must be able to modify system goals or
transform them entirely in response to information and feedback about its perfor-
mance—whether with reference to its external environment or internal components
—or change its internal structure and processes accordingly (Zimmerman, 2001).
The Life-Course Perspective for Family and Childhood
The life-course perspective goes beyond the systems theory in understanding family
and childhood. Glen Elder Jr. (1974, cited by Hutchison, 2008) proposed the
life-course perspective which paid attention to how historical time, social location
and culture affect individual experiences at each life stage. According to Bengtson
and Allen (1993), a life-course perspective emphasises the importance of time,
context, process and meaning on human development and family life. They note
five specific points as central to life-course concepts and theories, especially as
applied to studying families:
1. The first and central feature of life-course theories is the focus on the multiple
temporal contexts of development. This includes:
a. Ontogenetic time events in the unfolding biography of the individual that
alter behavioural schemes or processes (e.g. The transition from childhood to
adulthood through puberty);
b. Generational time events or family transitions that alter interactions or selves
(such as role changes occurring when parents become grandparents); and
c. Historical time events in the broader social or societal context that alter roles
or values of individuals and families.
2. The individual is viewed as an active agent in interaction with social contexts
and structures, with reciprocal influence on familial and social contexts.
3. The focus of the perspective is on process and change, leading to a dynamic
rather than static approach to the study of lives and families.
4. The emphasis of the perspective is not only on modal or average trends in
development over time, but also diversity across the range of patterns.
5. This approach emphasises the utility of multidisciplinary perspectives.
In this module, the historical time events are broadly grouped into preindustrial,
industrial and post-industrial/rural/tribal context. Although this classification
conveys change, the change is not linear. Since today’s world consists of
non-industrial, industrial and post-industrial societies, all three categories of family
characteristics exist worldwide in an overlapping manner. Moreover, diversity also
exists within each context, depending on the socio-economic status, religion and
gender.
Activities
Introductory Activity 8.1: Video Discussion on Diversity in Childhood
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will develop
awareness of the diversity in childhood, depending on the changing environment.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by a ‘normal’ childhood.
2. Show the video film: Social Construction of Childhood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzCHjfaEgn8&list=
PLEAD89C6064ECE3CB
3. Use the following questions to discuss this video:
• How does the environment determine what is a ‘normal’ childhood?
• How was childhood perceived before formal education arrived?
• What are the two types of childhood perceived in the modern period? Why?
• What is the construction of childhood in the twenty-first century? Why?
• Is there one ‘normal’ childhood?
Activity 8.2: Understanding the Influence of Family and Community Life on My

Childhood
Learner Outcome: At the end of the activity, the participants will understand the
influence of family and community life on childhood.

1. Show Summary Chart 8.1 on the ecological system’s theory to the participants
and ask them to prepare their own ecological chart of their childhood.
2. Ask the participants to reflect on their childhood with reference to the following
questions:
(1) How is your identity linked to your family?
(2) What effect did your family have on you?
(3) How has your family’s socio-cultural profile affected you?
(4) How has your family’s socio-economic status affected you?
(5) What role did your kinship play in your family life?
(6) How far did your ethnic community affect your family and you?
(7) How has your neighbourhood community affected your family and you?
(8) How has the larger environment affected your family and you?
3. Ask them to ask the same questions to their parents preferably of the same sex,
and compare the responses.
a. What did you learn about the effects of family on childhood?
b. What did you learn about the effects of the environment on the family and
the child?
c. How was your childhood experience different than that of other children of
your age in your class in school?
5. Show Summary Chart 8.2 to discuss diversity in childhood.
6. Introduce the life-course perspective on family and childhood and introduce the
following units of the module:
• Theories of Family in the Pre/Non-industrial Context and Implications for
Childhood
• Changes in Family in the Industrial Context and Implications for Childhood
• Changes in Family in the Post-industrial Context and Implications for
Childhood

Theories of Family in the Pre/Non-industrial Context

and Implications for Childhood
The Pre/Non-industrial Context
The preindustrial family developed as a productive unit in the context of agriculture

or other nature-based livelihood (Desai, 2012, p. 331). Agriculture is generally the
context of the rural society. This work is carried out by men, women and children
(Haas, 2006). According to Talcott Parsons, in domestic and agrarian economies,
family members are an economic asset and extended kinship is quite functional
(White & Klein, 2008).
Common Characteristics of Families in the Pre/Non-industrial Context
The pre/non-industrial family is generally characterised by agrarian economy,

where collectivism, kinship orientation, patriarchy and familism are functional.
Collectivism: Collectivism is found in most agricultural and traditional societies

(Triandis, 1988). According to Heywood (2007), collectivism is the belief that
collective human endeavour is of greater practical and moral value than individual
self-striving. Hamilton (2007, p. 16) notes that collectivist cultures tend to have less
wealth. When resources are scarce:
• People are more likely to work together to survive and thrive.
• Interdependence is valued, and finances and other resources are therefore
shared.
• People maintain close ties with family members and relatives, and family rituals
are attended by everyone.
• An individual’s identity is closely connected to the group identity (Hamilton,
2007).
In collectivist societies, there tends to be greater adherence to religious and
traditional conventions. Collectivistic culture plays a preventive role in child
neglect and abuse as parents get support of other adults in child rearing, especially
in crises situations.
Kinship Orientation: The pre/non-industrial family has been an integral part of its
ethnic community, so kinship orientation is an integral part of these families. Social
life in the pre/non-industrial family is mainly organised around allegiance to
extended systems of kinship or lineage based on descent from a common blood
ancestor (Cohen & Kennedy, 2007, p. 152). Rogers and Sebald (1962) define
kinship orientation as the degree to which a family fulfils the role expectations of
the kinship reference group. The kinship orientation can be matrilineal or

patrilineal.
Matriliny: The evolutionary theory indicates that the primeval practice was
group marriage, based on the sharing of partners and children within a group. This
system gave way to a matrilineal one. In matrilineal kinship systems, families give
primacy to lineage and inheritance from the mother’s side. It is still prevalent today
in the Northeast and in Kerala. These families are generally matrilocal, which
means that after marriage the woman remains in her parental family and the hus-
band may visit her or move to stay with her.
Patriliny: Engels (1884) noted that through the domestication and breeding of
animals, which was controlled by men, humanity understood the principle of
impregnation. Men now wanted to pass on their property to their own children. To
ensure this inheritance, women had to be domesticated and confined and their
sexuality regulated and controlled (Newman, 2005). Thus, marriage was supposed
to have been introduced to control women’s sexuality. It is further theorised that as
the agricultural societies have a high female contribution to subsistence, patrilocal
marriage practice where the woman left her parental family after marriage and stay
with the husband’s family was introduced in these societies (Pandhe, 1989). Thus,
the matrilineal system gave way to a patrilineal one that gives primacy to lineage
and inheritance from father to son. Taking one’s surname from the father or the
husband is a patrilineal concept.
In patriliny, identity and property are handed down from the father to the ‘le-
gitimate’ son. Children born out of wedlock, before or after marriage, are consid-
ered ‘illegitimate’. Thus, the concept of ‘legitimacy’ of the child linked to child’s
identity is rooted in the concept of sexual morality of their mothers, controlled by
the institution of marriage. Children of unmarried mothers are often abandoned, due
to the stigma of the ‘illegitimacy’.
Patriarchy: Patriliny led to patriarchy. Cohen and Kennedy (2007, p. 152) note that
early sociologists defined patriarchy as a system of social organisation in which
eldest males in a family exercised more or less unconstrained power both over
younger males and women in the preindustrial era. Control over resources and
assumption of superiority give the man the authority to make decisions about his
dependents, which mainly include women and children. Roles and responsibilities
and control and distribution of resources are strictly determined by hierarchies of
age, gender and generation. Violence is in-built into patriarchal families that give
power to men to have authority to control the less powerful, including children for
disciplining them. Family power has implication for status in the family. Since men
and elderly have more power in patriarchal families, they have a higher status than
women and children in these families. There has never been a true matriarchal
culture in existence. Even in matrilineal cultures, where women hold the title to the
property, patriarchy functions through financial decision-making power vested in
the brother (Leslie & Korman, 1984).
Childbearing is institutionalised in a patriarchal marriage for perpetuation of the

patrilineal lineage. In particular, son preference is prevalent in these families for the
purpose of continuity of lineage, inheritance and economic security. However,
children have not been considered important as patriarchy is an adultist,
age-conscious structure.
Familism: According to Rogers and Sebald (1962), familism is the subordination
of individual interest to those of the family group. It is the belief that individuals
have to make some sacrifices for the benefit of all is fostered. Familism or family
unity together with kinship orientation or the community expectations are consid-
ered more important than individual desires.
Diversity in Families in the Pre/Non-industrial Context
The pre/non-industrial family is diverse with reference to family structure and

marriage practices.
Family Structure: Minimally, two couples staying together, endogamous marriage

and childbearing are considered essential for the joint family. Leslie and Korman
(1984) termed extended families as consanguineous families as they focus on blood
relations. Family originated as a basic economic unit in the context of development
of private property. The original joint (or extended family) family became insti-
tutionalised as a self-sufficient economic unit to protect jointness of property that
historically was mainly agricultural land. It carried out the economic, educational,
political and religious functions of society (Zimmerman, 2001). Joint family has,
therefore, been a family structure of upper classes, which generally belong to the
upper castes. Sanskritisation aspirations have promoted the ideal of the Hindu joint
family, among other castes and tribes as well. The contemporary joint family is
bound together by common movable or immovable property, but may or may not
be staying together. Variations in a joint family are lineal joint families, collateral
joint families and lineal-cum-collateral joint families.
As the upper classes and castes have always been in a minority, joint family has
also always been in a minority. Families have plurality of forms that vary with class,
ethnicity, geographical location and individual choice, but were never written
about, so historically not well known. The basic needs of the landless people such
as slaves and serfs and their families were taken care of by the feudal lords for
whom they worked. They did not live in joint families. However, due to the
prototype of the Indian joint family, nuclear families, single-parent families, mixed
marriages that are not endogamous, non-Vedic marriages, cohabitation without
marriage, childless couples, single-person households and so on, are not accepted as
complete or normative family types.
Marriage Practices: Earlier, marriage was generally regarded as a private contract
and as such maybe dissolved at the will of either or both parties. Gradually, it
became an important matter of concern to religion, society and the state. Today,
there are vast differences in the degree of influence or interference exercised on

marital conduct by the authorities of state or religion from one society to another
(Craik, 1984). All the religions in the world have emerged in the preindustrial eras,
and the three religions with the largest numbers of followers in the world today,
Christianity, Islam and Hinduism, have significantly influenced the norms of the
institution of marriage. Among Muslims, marriage has been a contract, but among
Hindus and Christians, marriage has been a sacrament, therefore, traditionally
irrevocable. Husband and wife were bound to each other until the death of either of
them, and divorce was not allowed.
Marriage systems are dichotomised into polygamy and monogamy, influenced
by religions and socio-economic context. Polygamous marriages involve more than
one spouse at a time and mainly cover polygyny and polyandry.
Polygyny: Polygyny means one man marrying more than one wife. Ingoldsby
(2006) notes that the agricultural societies that have a high female contribution to
subsistence tend to be polygynous.
Polyandry: Polyandry is one woman marrying more than one man, generally
brothers. It is prevalent in male-oriented economies where women are not considered
necessary and the concern is a response to family poverty that demands that land not
be divided and the birth rate remains low. Polyandry is still prevalent among the
Toda tribe of India. In Islam, a Muslim man is permitted up to four wives. All wives
are entitled to separate living quarters at the behest of the husband and if possible, all
should receive equal attention, support, treatment and inheritance.
Monogamy: Monogamy is marriage between one man and one woman. As a
cultural preference it gained pre-eminence when the early Catholic movement
outlawed polygyny (Ingoldsby, 2006).
Implications for Childhood
Thus, in pre/non-industrial families, children grow up in collectivistic, kinship-

oriented, patriarchal and familistic religious families.
According to Aries (1962, cited in James & James, 2004), childhood did not
exist in the medieval society, as the younger members of the society were not
granted a special or distinctive social status. They participated in the society
according to their abilities, just as adults did. Jans (2004) noted that until the
eighteenth century, children were protected and cherished till they were six or seven
years old. Later, they were considered to be pocket-sized adults, who were mostly
involved in employment/livelihood.
Adolescence as a life stage also did not exist in the preindustrial context. Puberty
marked the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood. In many traditional
societies, puberty is a critical milestone, celebrated often by rites of passage, such as
schooling, work, criminal responsibility and sexual maturity. Children’s tasks tend
to change systematically at around puberty, the balance between education, unpaid
and paid work shifting radically, with gender determining the appropriate roles,
dress codes and patterns of social behaviour (Boyden & Levison, 2000). Similarly,
in today’s non-industrial families, children may or may not be going to schools and
help the family members on farms or at home in other local livelihood activities.
They are also likely to marry early.
Activities
Activity 8.3: Small Group Discussion on Family Life and Childhood in the
Non-industrial Context
common characteristics and the diversity in family life in the non-industrial context.

1. Form six small groups with a mix of participants who work in the
non-industrial/rural/tribal context and those who do not.
2. Allocate the following topics in the pre/non-industrial context among them for
discussion:
a. The non-industrial context and collectivism,
b. Kinship orientation,
c. Patriarchy and familism,
d. Diversity in family structure,
e. Diversity in marriage practices and
f. Puberty as end of childhood.
3. Ask the small groups to read the relevant notes and discuss them with examples
from their field of work and implications for childhood and work with children.
4. Ask the small groups to make their presentation to the large group for further
inputs.
Changes in Family in the Industrial Context

The Context of Industrialisation
Parsons suggested that industrialisation and urbanisation ‘defunctionalise’ large

areas of family activity, especially in regard to extended kinship (White & Klein,
2008). With industrialisation, the economic, educational, political and religious

functions carried out by the agricultural joint family are relegated to non-familial
institutions (Zimmerman, 2001). In this scenario:
• The collective societies are replaced by individualistic societies.
• Community orientation is loosened, and kinship supports for families are
weakened.
• The joint family type is giving way to the nuclear family type (Goode, 1964).
• Polygamy is replaced by monogamy, as the latter is better suited to the
consumption-based industrial economy (Ingoldsby, 2006).
Demographic Changes
The socio-economic changes in the industrial society have led to the following
demographic changes:
• Improvement in health services have led to higher survival rate and increased
longevity.
• In the industrial society, children are required to go to schools and because of
the longer times spent in education the average age of marriage has increased.
• Marriage at later age together with use of contraceptives, later age at first child
birth, higher survival rate of children and increase in working mothers have led
to lower fertility rate.
• The median level of total fertility among developing countries fell by more than
half, from 5.3 children per woman in the 1970s to 3.5 children per woman
around the turn of the century (United Nations, 2007).
• The larger households are being replaced by smaller nuclear households.
Tribal Displacement
Development projects have led to tribal displacement. The large-scale industrialisa-

tion and exploitation of mineral resources and the construction of irrigation dams and
power projects in the tribal areas have been the single most factors that have uprooted
more people out of their lands than the transfer of land from tribals to non-tribals on an
individual basis (Xaxa, 2011). The Narmada Bachao Andolan against the Sardar
Sarovar Dam for the first time systematically revealed how building dams can result in
total dislocation of tribal societies. The beneficiaries of the dam are meant to be large
landowners, but the tribal people are paying the price. The need to avoid such
large-scale displacement, particularly of tribals and in case of unavoidable dis-
placement, their ultimate resettlement and rehabilitation have become central issues
of the developmental process itself (India: Lok Sabha Secretariat, 2013).
Displacement has invariably led to dislocation of the sources of livelihood,
resulting in food insecurity for the family. Displacement also uprooted families
from their traditional habitat and environment and pushed them to an environment
they were not only unfamiliar with but often even hostile, resulting in social and
psychological adjustment issues (Xaxa, 2011). The result is urban ghettoisation,
expansion of slums and pavement dwelling. The traditional skills are no longer
useful in the urban economy. Much of the community support that rural families
obtain for child care, assistance during sickness, access to information, economic
assistance and so on is lost (Parasuraman, 1993).
Nuclearisation of Family and Implications
As Goode had argued in 1964, as societies became more modern, the joint family
type gave way to the nuclear family type. The nuclear family comprises a couple
and their unmarried children, and in the western world, it tends to be financially
independent of other families. A variation of an elementary/nuclear family is the
supplemented nuclear family, which comprises a nuclear family with single rela-
tives (Kolenda, 1987). Leslie and Korman (1984) termed nuclear families as con-
jugal families as conjugal relation is the core of this family type. Desai (2012,
p. 334) sees the nuclear family as a consumer unit characterised by individualism
and monogamy. The implications of nuclearisation of family are aggravation of
patriarchy, housewifisation of women, marginalisation of the elderly and increase in
intervention by the state as discussed below.
Aggravation of Patriarchy: Industrialisation led to a separation of the work

place from the home. Men joined industrial employment, while women lost their
productive roles and stayed at home to look after the family and do household
work. The task of men as breadwinners was to provide for their families and the
task of women was to make the home a haven of peace and order. This process
is referred to as the ‘housewifisation’ of women (Zimmerman, 2001), aggra-
vating patriarchy. The gender-based allocation of the major roles of the industrial
family later came to be considered ‘natural’. Such allocation of roles resulted in
gender differences in access to resources and therefore power and status (Haas,
2006).
Zimmerman (2001) noted the common patriarchal beliefs around the urban
nuclear family are as follows:
• The father is the head who is the sole earner, and his wife and children take his
surname.
• The mother is the full-time homemaker devoted to child rearing and
homemaking.
• Parents make rules for children who, from being economic assets, turn economic
dependents as they need money for education.
• Families whose behaviours do not conform to one or more of these assumptions
are considered ‘troubled’ or ‘dysfunctional’.
Marginalisation of the Elderly: The older persons in patriarchal families have

carried a high status, the oldest man generally being considered the head of the
family. However, the enforced withdrawal from work through the retirement policy
is leading to lowering of their status as non-productive dependents. It is the earning
man who is now being considered the head of the family. Women, who were
always subordinate to the men in the family, earlier had authority over younger
women. Due to growing consumerism, leading to self-centeredness, the trend is
towards inverting of hierarchies and ambiguity of roles (Desai, 2000). The older
persons do not have a place in nuclear families. Most children in the more devel-
oped regions eventually leave the parental home, and parents grow older without
any coresiding child. Older individuals are more likely to be living as a couple or,
especially after the death of a spouse, in a single-person household or in an old age
home (United Nations, 2011).
Increase in Intervention by the State: The state has played a prominent and
controversial role in the modern age so also in the welfare of the families whose
behaviours do not conform to one or more of the modern nuclear family ideals.
A prominent example of state intervention is in the field of institutional care
through the juvenile justice system.
Growing Consumerism, Individualism and Egalitarianism

and Implications
Consumerism: Consumerism has created a world of possessive individualism that

became essential for the economic growth, social values being considered sec-
ondary to the creation and satisfaction of wants (Pereira, 1997).
Individualism: According to Heywood (2007, p. 28), individualism is the belief in

the supreme importance of the individual over any social group or collective body.
He notes that in individualist cultures, independence is valued and after 18, children
are encouraged to earn for themselves. People enjoy more personal choice in their
relationships, jobs and interests. Individualism has led to increased self-centredness
and indifference and the commodification of relationships. Family has increasingly
come to be seen as an impediment to individual self-fulfilment. The relationship
between family values and individual values has become more and more prob-
lematic (Zimmerman, 2001). Hamilton (2007) identifies the following character-
istics of masculinity that comprises the individualistic Western culture: High degree
of separation between men’s and women’s roles, importance of challenge and
recognition at work, higher job stress, centrality of work in life, values of mastery,
ambition and independence, children taught to fight back and importance of money
and things.
Growing consumerism and individualism have led to increase in family vio-
lence, increase in marriage breakdown and emergence of reconstituted families.
Increase in Vulnerability to Family Violence: Violence is in-built into patriarchal

families as power leads to abuse of the less powerful. With the nuclearisation of
family, and the separation of private and public spheres, the family got privatised.
Together with the increased individualism and commodification of relationships
and weak community supports, the vulnerability of the less powerful members in
families to domestic violence has increased. The powerless in the family are women
(especially the housewives), children and now also the elderly who are not con-
sidered productive. Everything that happens within the four walls of the modern
family is considered a private matter and no outside intervention is encouraged.
Family violence, therefore, often remains invisible, undiscussed and unchallenged
(Bhasin, 2000). Levinson (1989, cited in Leeder, 2004) noted that the groups of
women least abused worldwide are those who have a sense of support from other
members of the community.
Impact on Families in Colonised/Developing Countries
The colonisation of Asian and African countries by the European rulers led to
industrialisation, development and ‘modernisation’ in these countries. This caused
importation of the western nuclear family form to the world, with the tendency to
homogenise the culture of family diversity where diversity is confused with
abnormality or deficiency (Richard, 1996, cited in Schriver, 2004). For example,
the British rule considered the matrilineal practices and cousin marriages in parts of
its colonies inferior to the ‘modern’ practices of patriliny and exogamy and tried to
impose the latter. Other impacts are observed with reference to women’s status as
discussed below.
Neglect of Women’s Productive Role: While women played significant roles in

the agricultural countries, most of the western-sponsored development pro-
grammes in these countries assumed the ‘household’ to follow the model of an
idealised ‘western nuclear family’ with a male breadwinner and dependent women
and children. This led planners to focus mainstream development interventions on
men, undermining women’s economic opportunities and autonomy (Kabeer,
2003).
Feminisation of Poverty: Besides neglect of women’s productive role, industri-

alisation has led to increased migration together with increased unemployment
among men due to replacement by automatic machines. It has resulted in a major
expansion of the unprotected, unorganised labour force. This force is also joined by
an increasing number of women who were left out of development projects and
children. The unorganised sector does not provide social security and scope for
unionisation or application of anti-discrimination laws and so on. This has led to
increased poverty among the female-headed families also known as feminisation of
poverty.
Implications for Childhood
Thus, in the industrial context, children grow up in smaller, nuclear, privatised,

patriarchal and individualistic consumeristic families.
Vulnerability of Children to Neglect and Abuse: Although children are vulner-

able to neglect and abuse in the traditional patriarchal families, these children do
grow up among family and community support. However, industrialisation has led
to displacement of families, weakening of communities and aggravation of patri-
archy. This has aggravated adultism and may affect parental capacity to care for
their children, making them more vulnerable to neglect and abuse.
Vulnerability of Displaced Children: Both displacement and denial of access to

forest have adversely affected children’s nutritional status and their health.
Displacement disrupted the schooling of school-going children and more often than
not, acted as the factor of their discontinuation. Even in the case of restriction of
access to forest, tribal children are affected though not as severely as in the case of
displacement, since tribal life, even if based on settled agriculture, is intricately
intertwined with the forest (Xaxa, 2011).
Child Vulnerability to Poverty: Overwhelmed migrant urban families often

struggle to cope in overcrowded, inadequate housing, with increased health risks
and poor access to basic services, sometimes migrating or moving between poor
neighbourhoods (UNOHCHR, n.d.). Poverty has become increasingly concentrated
among socially excluded populations, such as discriminated castes and tribes, rural
populations and urban slum dwellers. Discrimination and social exclusion increase
the socio-economic stresses on families and make it more likely that their children
migrate to the streets (Consortium for Street Children & Plan,2011). Children living
in poverty generally comprise:
• Children of landless and marginal farmers
• Children of migrant and nomadic families
• Children of unemployed/unorganised labour
• Children of slum dwellers
• Children in street situations
Experiences from across the world have shown that children are among the most
vulnerable when local economies are opened up to global market forces without
making adequate investments and putting safeguards for the susceptible sections of
population (Hukku, 2004). Women’s poverty by extension impoverishes their
children. According to Luxton (2002), what causes child poverty are gendered
division of labour, labour market segregation and segmentation, pay inequalities,
the lack of public support for care-giving and men’s widespread reluctance to pay
child support. On the other hand, poverty makes children vulnerable to commercial
exploitation of their labour and/or sexuality. Girls from poor families are vulnerable
to commercial exploitation through labour in the unorganised sector, sale,
trafficking and prostitution, leading to increase in teenage pregnancy, HIV/AIDS

and mortality. Boys from poor families seem to be relatively more vulnerable than
girls to labour in the organised sector, physical abuse, substance abuse and conflict
with law (Desai, 2007).
Activities
Activity 8.4: Small Group Discussion on the Common Characteristics of Family

Life in the Industrial Context
changes in the family life in the industrial context and draw implications for
childhood.

1. Form five small groups with a mix of participants who work in the industrial
context and those who do not.
2. Allocate the following topics in the industrial context among them for
discussion:
a. The context of industrialisation and demographic changes
b. Nuclearisation of family and implications
c. Growing consumerism, individualism and egalitarianism and implications
d. Impact on families in colonised/developing countries
e. Implications for childhood
3. Ask the small groups to read the relevant notes and discuss them with draw
implications for childhood.
inputs.
Changes in Family in the Post-industrial Context

The Context of Post-industrial Society
In the post-industrial society, the service industries—including the knowledge,

media and information-based sectors—have become the most important source of
wealth and employment. Accompanying this is, therefore, a relative decline in the
contribution of manufacturing industry to national wealth, a fall in the numbers of
manual workers, a huge expansion of university or tertiary education and a growing
middle class. In this context, where more jobs come from services rather than
manufacturing, sophisticated machines such as robots and computers increasingly
supplement or usurp the work once performed by humans (Cohen & Kennedy,
2007, p. 438).
Postmodernism refers to the historical period that begins in the 1970s and was
born partly out of the social revolutions of the 1960s, the growing dominance of the
new technologies that transformed modes of communication and post-industrial and
global economies. Postmodernism arose as a revolt against the beliefs of modernity,
as a set of attitudes designed to correct and modify modern ideas that proved to be
overly broad or narrow. It is a critical attitude towards the certainties and notions of
rationality and unmitigated benefits of science and technology based in modernism.
Postmodernism emphasises the embeddedness of all human knowledge in a social,
historical and linguistic context. It offers elaboration, eclecticism and inclusiveness
instead of the purity, order, clarity and analytical abstraction of modernism.
Postmodernism thus emphasises diversity (Zimmerman, 2001).
Postmodernists emphasise the multiple and ever-shifting discourses that per-
meate social life—so that there can be no ‘fixed’ structures shaping human beha-
viour or absolute values. They also celebrate cultural differences and insist on the
individual’s increasing capacity to construct or deconstruct lifestyles and their
social personae. According to postmodernists, unlike the earlier era of modernity,
our lives are now said to be less and less determined by family, class, community
and national loyalties or by social expectations linked to such things as gender or
race. Instead, these structures, along with the moral and political certainties about
the nature of truth and destiny with which they were associated, have largely
disintegrated. Simultaneously, our increasing exposure to huge amounts of infor-
mation, often associated through the mass media and advertising with a battery of
swirling signs and images, cause a communication overload. We no longer know
what ‘realities’ are being represented by signs so everything becomes a simulation.
Like truth and morality, reality and authenticity become less believable. All this
leaves us free to forge our own identities out of an increasingly diverse cultural
repertoire of fragments, although this may also cause us some anxiety (Cohen &
Kennedy, 2007).
The Postmodern Family
When applied to family, postmodernism challenges all the norms of the modern
family and marriage. It reflects the disillusionment with the optimistic assumptions
of human progress and with the universality and the regularity of the laws of
science; hence, lack of faith in the previously established order (Zeitlin,
Megawangi, Kramer, Colletta, Babatunde, & Garman, 1995). A key element of
postmodernity is the immense increase in diversity as a result of the breakdown of
‘conventional’ forms and ideals of modernity. Since the postmodern family chal-
lenges all the norms of the modern family and marriage, it is challenges the con-
ventional family, marriage and childbearing norms (Desai, 2012).
In the 1970s, Shorter (1975, cited in Zeitlin et al., 1995) described the emerging
postmodern family by noting three important characteristics:
• Adolescent indifference to the family’s identity,
• Instability in the lives of couples, accompanied by rapidly increasing divorce
rates and
• Destruction of the ‘nest’ notion of nuclear family life with the liberation of
women.
According to Stacy (1996, cited in Appell, 2010), the postmodern family is not
as easily defined as the modern family. According to her, this family type can be
characterised by:
• A decline in paternal (and patriarchal) authority,
• Marital instability, and
• A less distinct division of labour outside the home between husband and wife.
Some women and men prefer to focus on careers and deliberately prefer the
single life, to marriage and parenthood.
Changing Marital Norms
Increase in Divorce Rate: In tribal and rural societies, divorces were and are more
easily obtainable through the customary practices. It is the religious taboo of
divorce and the long urban legal procedure that make divorces more difficult in
industrialised societies. As women become less dependent on male earnings, they
are freer to leave abusive or hostile relationships. Increased divorce rates have led to
an increased number of single-parent families. Overall, a majority of single-parent
families are female-headed as women are more likely to assume the responsibility
of children and the legal custody is also typically awarded to women.
Cohabitation: Marriage is becoming less of a requirement for childbearing. In 62

countries with data on extramarital births, the median percentage of all births that
occurred out of wedlock rose substantially, from 7.1% in the 1970s to 29.2% at the
beginning of this century. The increase was similar in developed and developing
countries with data (United Nations, 2007). Cohabitation or consensual unions, and
same-sex parents are some of the trends of formation of families without marriage.
Cohabitation or a consensual union refers to a couple living together without being
legally married. The couple may plan to marry or may be testing out their com-
patibility before marriage, or the couple may be living together as an alternative to
marriage. In any case, there is a presumption of both sexual and emotional intimacy
and the potential for long-term commitment (Smith, 2006).
Changing Family Norms
Increase in Dual Career Families: As women’s education got prominence, an

increased desire for personal fulfilment through a career led to an increase in
working women in wage employment. This phenomenon of dual career families has
implications for care of children, ill and the elderly.
Reconstituted Families: Increased divorce rates have also led to an increased

number of stepfamilies which are also known as reconstituted or blended families.
Strong, deVault, and Cohen (2008) note that these families have unique charac-
teristics: Almost all the members in the reconstituted family have lost an important
primary relationship, one biological parent typically lives outside the current
family, and the relationship between a parent and his or her children predates the
relationship between the new partners.
Same-Sex Marriages and Parents: The gay rights movement in the West has
given greater visibility to gay and lesbian families. Like heterosexual couples, gay
and lesbian couples also desire lifelong commitments to a loving partner and, in
many cases, want to have children. Many have children from a previous hetero-
sexual relationship and others the child is brought into the family through adoption
or surrogacy (Smith, 2006).
Changing Norms of Childbearing
In postmodern families, multiple people may play a role in the production and
parenting of a child. Technology has made it possible for women to get pregnant in
ways other than heterosexual intercourse, for example through artificial insemina-
tion, in vitro fertilisation and surrogacy. These methods have not only made it
possible for the infertile couples to get pregnant but also for the same-sex parents to
have babies. Foster family care and adoption are not new forms of families, but
these are being used today by same-sex couples and those who want to bring up
children without themselves having to bear them. The tension between biological
and social ordering raises many questions regarding family formation, dissolution,
constitution, rights and responsibilities, including:
• Whether and to what extent biology should be the basis of parent–child rela-
tionships (and relatedly sibling and extended family relationships);
• What the balance should be between biological and social relationships;
• Whether and how social relationships and individual intentions should establish
family status and
• Whether physical intimacy is necessary for family status (Appell, 2010).
• Moreover, tensions have arisen between adult rights of secrecy and child’s
rights to know his/her biological parents in such families (Connolly & Ward,
2008).
Changing Childhood
The new technological environment blurs boundaries—between nation states,

regions, cultures, and between ages. Children can now be directly accessed and
inducted into a global community of consumer–citizens. All aspects of childhood,
including play, are covered by this new community which is managed by global
conglomerates who design video games, toys and social media sites for children.
The elders living in the immediate vicinity of the child are no more the only, or
primary, agents responsible for his or her socialisation. Parents cannot anymore
play the role of protectors, nor can they set the contours of the child’s knowledge.
Like parents, the teacher too has less of a say in the new order. In the
techno-romantic view, this is the moment of the liberation of the child from adult
control and supervision. The new geography of the child’s sphere of interaction
makes older notions of protection and guidance meaningless. The child is back to
being vulnerable in a boundless world. What this implies for the child’s physical
well-being and for intellectual and emotional development needs to be contem-
plated. For this contemplation, we have little guidance in the corpus of theory that
has been available so far (Kumar, 2016)
Comparison Between Premodern and Postmodern Families
Zeitlin et al. (1995) noted that the postmodern (post-industrial) life appears to
reverse, or de-differentiate, many characteristics of the modern family back to
premodern (preindustrial) lifestyles and values, for example
• Workplace and home are often the same, working mother,
• Love is contractual or consensual,
• Shared parenting,
• Early social maturation in full view of adult activities,
• More peaceful adolescence.
Nevertheless, according to Zeitlin et al. (1995), there remain quantum differ-
ences between premodern and postmodern lifestyles, for example
• Large versus small size,
• More versus less dependence on kin,
• Most of life enacted on the physical versus the electronic plane,
• Manual labour versus brain work,
• Local versus global context,
• Low versus high level of privacy and personal choice,
• Predetermined versus optional social roles and
• Set rules of right and wrong versus pluralistic and relativistic values.
Childhood in the Post-Industrial Context
Thus, in post-modern families, children grow up in families with adults who may not
be married or may not be their parents, with high level of privacy and personal choice,
valuing diversity and plurality. However, they also face issues of family identity, lack
of legal support and early social maturation. Moreover, as Hengst (2001) stated,
childhood is being liberated from modernity’s educational project as education is no
more the distinguishing factor for childhood with the growing emphasis on lifelong
learning. As Jans (2004) notes, learning no longer exclusively belongs to the domain
of the school and no longer is restricted to the youth phase. It is changing the classic
relation between children as those who need to learn and adults who need to teach.
Activities
Activity 8.5: Small Group Discussion on Family and Childhood in the

Post-industrial Context
Learner Outcome: At the end of the activity, the participants will understand
changes in the family and childhood in the post-industrial context.

1. Form three small groups of participants and allocate the following topics among
them:
a. The context of post-industrial society and the postmodern family
b. Changing marital norms and implications for childhood
c. Changing family norms and implications for childhood
d. Changing norms of childbearing and implications for childhood
e. Comparison between premodern and postmodern families
2. Ask them to read the relevant notes and discuss with examples.
inputs.
4. Show Summary Chart 8.3 and summarise the diversity in family in the context
of its environment and implications for childhood.

2. The participants may be asked to share/ write their responses in their diary with
• What was not clear/ confusing?

Summary Chart 8.1 Child’s ecological systems
The State,
Corporate Sector
& the Economy
Community,
School, Work
Place, Natural
Environment,
Friends
Family
Child
Summary Chart 8.2 Diversity in childhood
• By age
Biological Diversity
• By sex
• By gender
Socio-Cultural Diversity • By ethnicity and culture
• By Family type
• By occupaƟon
Socio-Economic Diversity • By income
• By geographical environment
Summary Chart 8.3 Diversity in family and childhood in the environmental

context
Environmental Family Type Family Implications for

Context Characteristics Children
Pre/Non- • Pre-Modern • Collectivism • Collective Child-
Industrial Family • Kinship Rearing
Context • Diverse Orientation • Puberty as the end of
• Production Unit • Patriarchy Childhood
• Familism
Industrial • Modern Family • Nuclearisation Increased Vulnerability
Context • Homogenised of Family of Children to:
• Consumption • Growing • Poverty
Unit Consumerism • Neglect
• Growing • Abuse
Individualism • Commercial
Exploitation
Post-Industrial • Postmodern • Changing Children Face Issues of:
Context Family marital norms • Family Identity
• Diverse • Changing family • Lack of Legal
• Optional Social norms Support
Roles
• Pluralistic & • Changing norms • Early Social
Relativistic of child-bearing Maturation
Values
Acknowledgements This module is an updated and revised version of the author’s chapter:
Desai, M. (2013). Chapter 12: Family Diversity and Rights-Based Family Policy Approach. In The
Paradigm of International Social Development: Ideologies, Development Systems and Policy
Approaches. New York: Routledge, Studies in Development and Society Series.
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Module 9
Critical Theories of Deconstruction
of Problems in Childhood
Prerequisite Module
• The prerequisite module for this module is Ecological Theories of Family and
Childhood Diversity (Module 8).
Introduction to Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood
Listing and Labelling of Problems in Childhood
Following the UNICEF approach, the earlier documents in India the terms for
problems in childhood have evolved as follows:
• The First and the Second Five-Year Plans (1951–1960) identified the problems
of the ‘neglected childhood’, ‘juvenile delinquency’, ‘handicapped’ and ‘defi-
cient’ children.
• The National Policy for Children of 1974 included children who are ‘socially
handicapped’, who have become ‘delinquent’, who have been forced to take to
begging or who are otherwise ‘in distress’.
• The Juvenile Justice Act enacted in 1986 used the terms ‘neglected children’
and ‘juvenile delinquents’.
• The 2000 JJ Act replaced the term ‘neglected children’ in the 1986 JJ Act with
‘children in need of care and protection’ and ‘juvenile delinquents’ with ‘ju-
veniles in conflict with the law’.
• The National Plan of Action of 2005 used the terms ‘children in especially
difficult circumstances’ and ‘children in conflict with law’.
• The Integrated Child Protection Scheme (ICPS) of 2009 and the 2015 JJ Act use the
terms ‘children in need of care and protection’ and ‘children in conflict with law’.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_9
244 9 Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood
According to the Juvenile Justice (Care and Protection of Children) Amendment

Act, 2015, ‘child in need of care and protection’ means a child:
(i) who is found without any home or settled place of abode and without any
ostensible means of subsistence; or
(ii) who is found working in contravention of labour laws for the time being in
force or is found begging or living on the street; or
(iii) who resides with a person (whether a guardian of the child or not) and such
person:
a. has injured, exploited, abused or neglected the child or has violated any
other law for the time being in force meant for the protection of child; or
b. has threatened to kill, injure, exploit or abuse the child and there is a
reasonable likelihood of the threat being carried out; or
c. has killed, abused, neglected or exploited some other child or children
and there is a reasonable likelihood of the child in question being killed,
abused, exploited or neglected by that person; or
(iv) who is mentally ill or mentally or physically challenged or suffering from
terminal or incurable disease, having no one to support or look after or
having parents or guardians unfit to take care, if found so by the Board or
the Committee; or
(v) who has a parent or guardian and such parent or guardian is found to be
unfit or incapacitated, by the Committee or the Board, to care for and
protect the safety and well-being of the child; or
(vi) who does not have parents and no one is willing to take care of, or whose
parents have abandoned or surrendered him; or
(vii) who is missing or runaway child, or whose parents cannot be found after
making reasonable inquiry in such manner as may be prescribed; or
(viii) who has been or is being or is likely to be abused, tortured or exploited for
the purpose of sexual abuse or illegal acts; or
(ix) who is found vulnerable and is likely to be inducted into drug abuse or
trafficking; or
(x) who is being or is likely to be abused for unconscionable gains; or
(xi) who is victim of or affected by any armed conflict, civil unrest or natural
calamity; or
(xii) who is at imminent risk of marriage before attaining the age of marriage and
whose parents, family members, guardian and any other persons are likely
to be responsible for solemnisation of such marriage;
The Integrated Child Protection Scheme (ICPS) (2009) of India focuses its
activities on the following categories of children which is similar but differently
worded from the JJA list:
• Children in need of care and protection as defined under the JJ Act;
• Children in conflict with law as defined under the JJ Act;
• Children who come in contact with the law, either as victim or as a witness or
due to any other circumstance;
• Children of potentially vulnerable families and families at risk;
• Children of socially excluded groups such as migrant families, families living in
extreme poverty, scheduled castes, scheduled tribes and other backward classes,
families subjected to or affected by discrimination, minorities;
• Children infected and/or affected by HIV/AIDS;
• Child drug abusers, children of substance abusers;
• Orphans, child beggars, trafficked or sexually exploited children, children of
prisoners; and
• Street and working children.
Mere listing of the problems of children in terms of manifestations of problems
results in children being labelled such as neglected child, socially handicapped
child, deficient child, illegitimate child, delinquent child, street child, child labourer,
trafficked child, child prostitute. A consequence of such symptoms-based targeting
is labelling which leads to:
• Reduction of people’s whole life stories to a specific problem.
• People are often labelled in ways that convey misinterpretations of the under-
lying problem.
• Development agencies can reproduce labels that stigmatise.
• People may also use labels to gain privileged access to resources.
• Although labels are used to indicate diversity, they may homogenise people into
stereotypes (Power of Labelling, 2006).
The response to labelling has been a scheme approach that has led to frag-
mentation of service delivery that addresses only the symptoms. As a result, the
causes of the problems have remained untouched. Children and their problems do
not exist in isolation; there are linkages among problems faced by children and in
the context of family and community. These linkages are necessary to understand
the cycle of problems as well as the differential causes, manifestations and con-
sequences in each problem situation that would help prioritise services that can
prevent problems.
Concepts of Problems in Childhood
Proper concepts are useful to deconstruct problems in childhood and understand the
causes and linkages across the problems that can be used for prevention and the
manifestations and effects give directions for intervention across the world. The
growing global studies and policies on children across the developed and developing
countries have led to the need to globalise the concepts used to understand problems
faced by children, in different parts of the world. The trend in the Western countries is
to use the terms ‘child abuse’ and ‘child neglect’ together in knowledge development,
laws and the child protection programmes. For example, the International Society for
Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect publishes an international journal called

Child Abuse and Neglect. According to the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment
Act of 1974 (amended in 2003), ‘the term ‘child abuse and neglect’ means, at a
minimum, any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which
results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or
an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm’ (United
States of America: Department of Health and Human Services, 2003, p. 44). The
neglected children, especially in the developing countries, need childcare or welfare
and not protection in the same sense as what the child victims of abuse need. The
services for the two therefore need to be separated and made more appropriate.
Because of the higher prevalence of child abuse and less of commercial
exploitation in the Western countries, some Western authors use the term ‘child
abuse’ to include commercial exploitation of children, even when they examine
child abuse across the globe (e.g. Schwartz-Kenney, McCauley, & Epstein, 2000).
However, both the issues are significantly different as discussed later in this module.
Problems in childhood are deconstructed in this module with the help of:
• Prejudicing ideologies leading to exclusion.
• Social construction of childhood.
• Problems in the environment (discussed in the previous module).
• The cycle of problems in childhood.
Activities
Introductory Activity 9.1: Introduction to Deconstruction of Problems in

Childhood
awareness about deconstruction of problems in childhood.

1. Carry out brainstorming with the participants on what they think are the prob-
lems in childhood and list them on the board.
2. Then ask them the following questions:
a. What is the root cause of these problems?
b. Are these problems connected? How?
c. Are the meanings of the terms used universal?
• Prejudicing Ideologies and Vulnerability to Exclusion in Childhood.
• Social Construction of Childhood and Problems in Childhood.
• Linkages and the Cycle of Problems in Childhood.

Prejudicing Ideologies and Vulnerability to Exclusion

in Childhood
Prejudicing Ideologies and Exclusion
The common prejudicing ideologies are adultism, sexism, ableism, racism and
casteism. These prejudicing ideologies justify role stereotypes, hierarchy, exclu-
sion, domination, intolerance, oppression, exploitation and violence. They have led
to inequality among children excluding girls, children with disability, and children
of Dalits and tribal communities (Desai, 2002). The Child Protection Working
Group (2012, p. 155) defines exclusion as the processes through which individuals
or groups of children are totally or partly marginalised from being able to play a full
role in society. While exclusion focuses mainly on social relationships, it feeds into
cycles of material deprivation and vulnerability. It is commonly associated with
stigmatised social status that is discriminated against. Exclusion fundamentally
affects the development of a child’s full potential, by blocking his or her access to
rights, opportunities and resources. Excluded children are more vulnerable to
poverty, neglect, violence (abuse and commercial exploitation) and conflict with
law than other children.
According to James and James (2012), vulnerability is a concept that derives its
meaning in the context of specific risks that raise the prospect of immediate or
longer-term harm, and which may require some kind of protective action.
Adultism
Concept of Adultism: According to Fletcher (2013), adultism is biased towards

adults, promoting discrimination against children and youth. He identifies two other
concepts similar to adultism: adultcentrism and adultocracy. Adultcentrism is the
practice of regarding adults, including their opinions, interests and actions, above
young people’s opinions, interests and actions. It is the view that only adults make
substantial contributions to society. It relies on adultocracy to enforce its power.
Adultocracy is the collection of obvious and unobvious tools adults use to impose
their authority, domination and superiority over children and youth.
White (2003) emphasises that while children and young people are of course
vulnerable and in need of adult protection in some senses and situations, approaches
to analysis or action which focus on vulnerability alone are likely to encourage
notions of the young as passive, helpless victims, obscuring their strengths and
competences, their own ideas about ways of coping with adversity, and their rights
to take part as active agents in their own development. Adult control over children
is often justified as necessary for their welfare. However, adult control is often a
means to maintain conformity and social order across and between the generations
as adults seek to preserve and recreate the childhood they remember (James &
James, 2004).
In patriarchal families, children are supposed to be obedient to elders and have
little say in decisions which are made for them. If a child asserts himself or herself,
in the process of disagreeing with the elderly or making his or her own life choices,
the family’s unity and stability are perceived to be threatened. Thus, by age,
children are made vulnerable to subordination and control in patriarchal families.
History of Adultism: Children have been perceived as immature and imperfect by
thinkers from ancient to modern times. According to Aristotle, a human child is an
immature specimen of the organism-type human, which, by nature, has the
potentiality to develop into a mature specimen with the structure, form and function
of a normal or standard adult. Aristotle regarded children as property of the father.
On the ground that there can be no injustice ‘in the unqualified sense’ towards what
is one’s own, he reasoned that a father cannot be unjust to his own child. John
Locke viewed the child as inherently neither bad nor good but rather as a ‘tabula
rasa’ meaning a ‘blank slate’. This idea implied that children could be shaped by all
kinds of experiences during their life. Locke added that the power that parents have
over their children arises from the duty which is incumbent on them to take care of
their offspring, during the ‘imperfect’ state of childhood (Matthews, 2004).
Adultism in Sciences: Even scientific wisdom on child development states that
human competence is essentially a function of age. Erikson and Piaget also char-
acterised childhood development as an orderly, linear progress from incompetence
to competence, which is adulthood. Boyden and Levison (2000) noted that the
overall trend in development sciences accepts transformation from an immature
child to mature adult, simple to complex, irrational to rational behaviours, and
dependent childhood to autonomous adulthood. Children are thus understood to be
immature beings in a state of development and training for competent adulthood.
The concept of ‘developing’ children into adults by ‘teaching’ them implies that
children are not developed or are incomplete and adults are ‘developed’ or ‘com-
plete’. Children are not considered to have human agency in that they are not
viewed as contributing to the accomplishment of a purpose or results (Levison,
2000).
White (2003) noted that childhood is not even an area of study in social sciences,
such as anthropology, sociology (until recently); and economics; political science;
and development studies. According to most economic models, children have been
perceived both as a cost to society and the passive receptacles of benefits and
knowledge imparted by adults. In other words, children’s integration into society is
portrayed, in effect, as a one-way process in which adults give and children receive
(Boyden & Levison, 2000). As Wyness, Harrison, and Buchanan (2004) note, a
political community has an exclusive adult membership with children not consid-
ered competent for entry. Children’s apolitical nature is associated with family
being considered their primary social environment, which is seen as the personal
and private sphere, shielding the children from the public sphere of politics. In their
understanding, the emphasis on rights in the United Nations Convention on the
Rights of the Child (UNCRC, 1989) also locates children as welfare dependents.
With the social construction of adolescence, and extension of childhood to age 18 in
the UNCRC, more persons are covered under adultism.
Adultist Communication with Children: Adults often talk to children in the
protective way that is judgemental, controlling, superior and certain. Hepworth,
Rooney, Rooney, Strom-Gottfried, and Larson (2006) identified the following
protective communication as barriers to communication with children:
• Reassuring, sympathising, consoling or excusing;
• Advising and giving suggestions or solutions prematurely;
• Using sarcasm or employing humour that is distracting or makes light of their
problems;
• Judging, criticising or placing blame;
• Trying to convince them about the right point of view through logical argu-
ments, lecturing, instructing or arguing;
• Analysing, diagnosing or making dogmatic interpretations;
• Interrupting inappropriately;
• Dominating the interaction;
• Responding infrequently;
• Parroting or overusing certain phrases or cliches; and
• Threatening, warning or counter-attacking.
According to Gordon (2000), we tend to use the following verbal messages to
children when they come to us with feelings or problems:
• Judging, criticising, disagreeing, blaming;
• Ordering, directing, commanding;
• Warning, admonishing, threatening;
• Exhorting, moralising, preaching;
• Advising, giving solutions;
• Lecturing, teaching, giving logical arguments;
• Name-calling, ridiculing, shaming;
• Interpreting, analysing, diagnosing;
• Withdrawing, distracting, humouring, diverting; and
• Questioning, interrogating.
Implications for Protective Exclusion of Children: As Qvortrup (1997, cited in
Haydon & Scraton, 2002) noted, adultism amounts to protective exclusion, based
on their alleged lack of capability and competence. According to the EU Canada
Project (2003), adultism may lead to protective exclusion in the following ways:
• Withholding information and access to entitlements on the basis that children
are too immature or incapable or using them ‘properly’;
• Acting ‘on behalf of a child or young person’ using the same rationale;
• Making decisions about a child or young person based on generalised repre-
sentations of children and young people rather than consulting with or treating
situations on their individual merits; and
• Acting as a barrier to the autonomy, independence and empowerment of chil-

dren and young people individually or collectively.
Implications of Adultist Communication on Children: Adultist communication
makes the child ‘hear’ the following about his or her thought processes:
• You do not take me seriously.
• You do not think my judgement is legitimate.
• You do not trust me to work out this problem myself.
• You think I am doing something bad or wrong (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Adultist communication makes the child ‘hear’ the following about his or her
feelings:
• You do not care about how I feel.
• You do not think my feelings are important.
• You do not accept my feeling the way I do (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Children’s reactions to these adultist messages therefore are:
• They stop talking.
• They become defensive.
• They argue/counter-attack.
• They feel inferior/guilty (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Implications for Child Abuse: In brief, adultism implies assumptions about
physical and mental incapability of children, which lead to role stereotypes of
dependency, hierarchy, intolerance, discrimination, and also justifies violence
against them. Thus from an adultist perspective, child abuse is not an anomaly, it is
built into the way in which we define childhood. When parents are given the
authority to control their children for disciplining them, child abuse gets institu-
tionalised in the family.
Other Prejudicing Ideologies
Sexism: Sexism consists of attitudes, policies, institutional structures and actions

that discriminate against one sex (often but not always, against women), limiting
freedom and opportunities (Griffin, 2008). Sexism makes girls vulnerable to
exclusion.
Racism: Racism consists of attitudes and actions, often based on prejudices and
often deriving from stereotypes that discriminate against certain people because
they are seen as belonging to a particular race which is seen as inferior to another.
Racist attitudes include the view that people of some ethnic origins are less
important and valuable than those of other ethnic origins (Griffin, 2008). Racism
makes children of some ethnic origins vulnerable to exclusion.
Casteism: Casteism justifies hierarchy of castes based on natural and social infe-
riority. It is a prejudice about superiority or inferiority of other castes with reference
to one’s own. It justifies intolerance, discrimination and violence against those at
the lower rungs of the caste hierarchy. Casteism makes children of castes consid-
ered inferior vulnerable to exclusion.
Ableism: Ableism describes prejudicial attitudes and discriminatory behaviours
towards persons with a disability (Levi, 2006). The abilities of persons with dis-
ability are overlooked, their capacities are underestimated and their needs are given
low priority (UNICEF Innocenti Research Centre, 2007). Ableism makes children
with disabilities vulnerable to exclusion.
Activities
Activity 9.2: Exercise on My Childhood Experience of Adultism
awareness about adultism based on their own childhood experience.

1. Ask the participants what is the difference between childhood and adulthood.
2. Ask them to fill the Exercise on My Childhood Experience of Adultism (given at
the end of the module) to reflect their experience of adultism in their childhood/
adolescence.
3. Ask each participant to share their childhood experience of adultism and its
impact on them.
• What do these statements convey about perception of children with reference
to adults?
• What is adultism? How is it different from adult responsibility for children?
• What are its causes and justifications?
• How does it lead to protective exclusion of children?
• Does adultism make children vulnerable to abuse?
• Do all of us experience adultism in childhood in one way or other?
• How would you have liked adults to have treated you when you were a child/
adolescent? Why?
• How can adultism be prevented?
5. Show the Summary Chart 9.1 to discuss other prejudicing ideologies and their
implications for sections of children.

Social Construction of Childhood and Problems in Childhood
Social Construction of Childhood
Biology does not determine childhood or adolescence, but provides a context for it
(O’Neill 2000, cited from White, 2003), just as biology (sex) does not determine
but provides the context for the gendered lives of girls and women. According to
Aries (1962, cited from James & James, 2004), childhood did not exist in the
medieval society, as the younger members of the society were not granted a special
or distinctive social status. They participated in the society according to their
abilities, just as adults did. According to Jans (2004), until the eighteenth century,
children were protected and cherished till they were six or seven years old. Later,
they were considered to be pocket-sized adults, who were mostly involved in
employment. Industrial capitalism has led to and science, policies and programmes
have shaped the social construction of childhood. According to a new paradigm for
the sociology of childhood, childhood is understood as a social construction. As
distinct from biological immaturity, childhood is neither a natural nor a universal
feature of human groups. It is a variable which can never be entirely divorced from
variables such as class, gender or ethnicity (Prout & James, 1997, cited in Gallacher
& Kehily, 2013).
Social Construction of Childhood by Schooling
The eighteenth-century philosopher Rousseau is credited with inventing the modern

notion of childhood as a distinct period of human life with particular needs of
stimulation and education. There was an outrage over the conditions of child
labourers in factories, in the West in the late eighteenth century, which had less to
do with exploitation than with fears of unruly and potentially undesirable activities
made possible by an independent income (Burman, 2008). Ruddick (2003) noted
that the modern childhood and youth that emerged at the turn of the last century in
Europe and North America also had strong links to the anxieties of a growing
middle class in Western industrialising nations. According to her, for this class, the
rise of industrial capitalism required a shift in strategies of social reproduction
towards an increasingly educated (male) progeny, as the path into clerical and
managerial work was directed increasingly through the classroom and away from
the ‘shop floor’.
Childhood was thus constructed through schooling, justifying making children
dependent, imposing a middle-class ideal of childhood as a period of helplessness
(Hendrick, 1990, cited in Burman, 2008). This model of childhood upheld the
innocence of the child and their freedom of contamination with the ugly lessons of
civilisation (Burman, 2008). The implications of compulsory education are that
children got domesticated, made dependent and secluded, adolescence got termed
as a disorder and ‘juvenile delinquency’ got socially constructed.
Domestication and Dependency of Children: Education took the children away

from work to schools and life in smaller families. As families became detached
from kinship community, children became the focal point for parents’ gaze. Both
school and family now act as disciplinary structures through which children are
being domesticated (Wyness, 2012). Although schooling is officially classless, it
renders the child (and therefore the family) always available for reformation of their
working-class morals. Childhood thus emerged as a domain to be colonised and
civilised (Burman, 2008).
Seclusion of Children: Due to schooling:

• The position of children evolved from a strong social participation with minimal
protection during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, to a strong protection
with minimal participation during the twentieth century (Jans, 2004).
• A separation was realised between environment of children and that of adults.
As a result, children spend most of their time among themselves, secluded from
the rest of society, in a psychosocial moratorium (Dasberg, 1965, cited in Jans,
2004).
• The Western childhood has become a period in the life course characterised by
social dependency, asexuality, with children having the right to protection and
training but not to social or personal autonomy (James et al., 1998, cited in
Wyness, 2012).
As Jans (2004) noted, education as the distinguishing factor for childhood has
changed with the growing emphasis on lifelong learning. Learning no longer
exclusively belongs to the domain of the school and no longer is restricted to the
youth phase. It is changing the classic relation between children as those who need
to learn and adults who need to teach.
Social Construction of Child Development by Western Sciences
The Western science of child development is critiqued for creating developmen-

talism based on Western, white, middle-class, male constructs of normality. It has
led to:
1. Universal chronologisation.
2. Discontinuity between childhood and adulthood.
3. Social construction of ‘normal’ and ‘deviant’.
Universal Chronologisation: Developmentalism has led to universal chronologi-
sation, based on Western, white, middle-class, male constructs of ‘normality’. It has
institutionalised chronological age within the life course; age is now key to the
definition of what a child is. The ways in which the developmental sciences have
used age to chart out children’s development are problematic as not all children
achieve the same stages at the same age (James & James, 2012). Sigelman and
Rider (2006) note that there are many differences among individuals of the same
age. Thus, age is merely a rough indicator of a child’s level of development.
Childhood is a social construction so chronologisation is not universal:
• In different cultures, the movement of individual children through childhood is
not followed with much precision and age is frequently treated as only an
approximate benchmark. Many different kinds of criteria—although seldom
age—are used to demarcate childhood (Boyden & Levison, 2000).
• Sigelman and Rider (2006) note that age means different things in different
societies. Each society has its own ways of dividing the lifespan and of treating
the individuals who fall into different age groups. Each socially defined age group
in a society is assigned different statuses, roles, privileges and responsibilities.
The UNICEF Innocenti Research Centre (2005) notes that over the past
20 years, theories about a universal process of child development, which can be
applied to children in all cultural environments, have been increasingly challenged.
Their reliance on experiments conducted in contexts divorced from children’s
reality, leading to a consistent underestimation of children’s capacities has been
critiqued. These critiques question not only the assumptions of universal applica-
bility of research based on a limited range of childhood experiences from a limited
cultural environment, but also the failure to reflect the complexity of factors
influencing children’s acquisition of competencies.
As adolescence is a social construct, its age group differs widely between cultures
and classes. Even though the physical maturation maybe completed by the age of
18 years, there can exist much variation in the ages at which children functionally
become adults in a society, by assuming adult roles and responsibilities. These
criteria include the commencement of work, end of schooling, betrothal and mar-
riage. Normally, the criteria that are applied differ according to gender and class. For
street or working children, or girls married off in their mid-teens, adolescence may
end even earlier. On the other hand, during the early years of adulthood, the tasks of
adulthood may yet be in the process of being completed for those going through
higher studies. Thus, it is essential to bear in mind that the experience of adolescence
can differ considerably for individuals going through this stage, as a result of dif-
ferences in socio-economic class and cultural practices, rural, urban or semi-urban
environment, involvement in labour force instead of the formal educational system
and so on (Boyden & Levison, 2000). Youth is a middle-class phenomenon, a luxury
to which the poor have no access as they need to start earning soon (Jones, 2009).
There is a wide variation in national laws setting minimum age thresholds for
participation in activities considered the preserve of adults, including voting,
marriage, military participation, property ownership and alcohol consumption.
A related idea is that of the ‘age of majority’: the legal age at which an individual is
recognised by a nation as an adult and is expected to meet all responsibilities
attendant upon that status. Below the age of majority, an individual is still
considered a ‘minor’. In many countries, the age of majority is 18, which has the
virtue of being consonant with the upper threshold of the age range for children
under the UNCRC. In other countries, this threshold varies widely (United Nations
Children’s Fund (UNICEF), 2011).
Discontinuity Between Childhood and Adulthood: Chronologisation has created

an artificial dichotomy between childhood and adulthood, as though they are dis-
tinctly different from one another. The distinction between childhood and adulthood
at the age of 18 is arbitrary, fixed first by the sciences and then the United Nations
Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989), negating childhood as a social
construct. The prevalent adultist perspective of children considers children
dependent, incomplete, changing, ignorant, becoming and, therefore, rendered
powerless; and adults as independent, complete, stable, knowledgeable, being and,
therefore, given power over the other, alienating one from the other. The former is
given rights and the latter is given duties to protect these rights. In fact, as James
and James (2004) emphasise, it is the supposed differences between children and
adults that underpin the institution of childhood.
Benedict (1938) noted way back that
….our [modern Western] culture goes to great extremes in emphasizing contrasts between
the child and the adult. The child is sexless, the adult estimates his virility by his sexual
activities; the child must be protected from the ugly facts of life, the adult must meet them
without psychic catastrophe; the child must obey, the adult must command this obedience.
…a good son is tractable, and does not assume adult responsibilities; a good father provides
for his children and should not allow his authority to be flouted…. The individual in one role
must revise his behavior from almost all points of view when he assumes the second role. …
adults in our culture put all the blame on the child when he fails to manifest spontaneously
the new behavior or, overstepping the mark, manifests it with untoward belligerence.
According to Benedict (1938), discontinuities between childhood and adulthood

contribute to maladjustment and personality upheavals. The ‘storm and stress’, for
which adolescence is known, is a manifestation of such discontinuous cultural
institutions and dogmas rather than a physiological necessity. Operationally, it
raises the need and problems with reference to age verification as two different sets
of norms and laws apply to those below and those above 18. Thus, there is a need to
consider adolescence as a stage of transition between childhood and adulthood,
rather than a stage within childhood.
Construction of ‘Normal’ and ‘Deviant’: The Western standards of normal

childhood are based on adultist notions of childhood as a basically biologically
driven ‘natural’ phenomenon in which children are distinguished from adults by
specific physical and mental (as opposed to social) characteristics. Although children
worked all over the world before the advent of education, children are now seen as
separated from the world of work and devoting their time to learning and play and
thus economically worthless, apolitical and asexual. Globalisation is transferring
these mythical norms of childhood to the world’s children, a majority of whom are
growing up in poverty groups of the developing nations. The transfer of these
‘normal’ standards to them makes their life seem deviant, inferior or pathological
(White, 2003). Thus, deviance is socially constructed by Western norms and the
world’s children are vulnerable to services that control and work on them to attain
measures that bring them inside the bands of ‘normal’ (EU Canada Project, 2003).
Cultural Determinism and Childhood Vulnerability
As child abuse and neglect first came to public and professional attention in the
Western world, questions arose as to whether child maltreatment was limited to the
Western world or whether it occurred throughout the world. Using a framework
drawn from Western-based conceptions of child abuse and neglect, a Western view
of ‘abuse’ has been privileged. However, cultural relativism is the idea that each
culture or ethnic group is to be evaluated on the basis of its own values and norms
of behaviour and not on the basis of those of another culture or ethnic group
(Rosado, 1994). According to Korbin (1981), while identifying child abuse and
neglect cross-culturally, there are child rearing practices viewed as acceptable by
one culture but as abusive and neglectful by another. While cultures vary in their
definitions of child abuse and neglect, each group nevertheless has criteria for
identifying behaviours that are outside the realm of acceptable child training.
Comparative cultural studies indicate wide variations in what is thought to be
either beneficial or harmful treatment in childrearing; few actions can be taken for
granted as intrinsically good or bad. For example, in some societies a swift, quickly
forgotten slap may be regarded as less disruptive to the bonds between parents and
children than a scolding would be. The Western practices of putting babies to sleep
alone in their own bedrooms are seen as uncaring or even abusive by people in
other cultures (Korbin, 1981). Anthropologists have gone to great efforts to explain
how culturally sanctioned rites that may cause children pain, suffering or harm fall
outside the rubric of ‘abuse’ in that they are collective expressions of cultural
values. As such, not only adults, who perform and perpetuate the rites, but also
children who are subjected to them, view these rites, however painful and terrifying,
as having a positive long-term value. The child’s view of his or her experience and
treatment has long been recognised as an important consideration in differentiating
cultural practices from idiosyncratic abuse (Korbin, 2003). However, Zechenter
(1997) notes that cultural relativism has the potential of undermining the modern
human rights law developed during the last fifty years.
Koramoa, Lynch, and Kinnair (2002) stress the need to provide some middle
ground between absolutist and culturally relative concepts of abuse. They distin-
guish between traditional cultural practices that enhance a child’s cultural identity
and those that cause harm. The problem, of course, is that some practices like
female circumcision do both. Cultural identity is so central to group membership
and thus personal identity that any suggestion of negative effects or inappropri-
ateness of any practice is likely to be sensitive, particularly if any pressure for
change comes from outside the culture condoning the practice. Change is far more
likely to take place when a campaign is led within the same or a similar culture.
Social Construction of Adolescence
Social Construction of Adolescence by Extension of Education: Adolescence

originated in the late nineteenth-century USA when the need for advanced edu-
cation produced a greater economic dependence on parents between puberty and the
time when an individual achieved economic and social independence. Education
introduced two important factors: delay in achieving economic self-sufficiency and
social experiences separated from adult life (Lesser & Pope, 2007). It also extended
the notion of childhood as a period of sexual innocence and latency into adoles-
cence (Kumar, 2016).
As adolescence is a social construct, its age group differs widely between cul-
tures and classes. Even though the physical maturation maybe completed by the age
of 18 years, there can exist much variation in the ages at which children func-
tionally become adults in a society, by assuming adult roles and responsibilities.
These criteria include the commencement of work, end of schooling, betrothal and
marriage. Normally, the criteria that are applied differ according to gender and
class. For street or working children, or girls married off in their mid-teens, ado-
lescence may end even earlier. On the other hand, during the early years of
adulthood, the tasks of adulthood may yet be in the process of being completed for
those going through higher studies. Thus, it is essential to bear in mind that the
experience of adolescence can differ considerably for individuals going through this
stage, as a result of differences in socio-economic class and cultural practices, rural,
urban or semi-urban environment, involvement in labour force instead of the formal
educational system and so on (Boyden & Levison, 2000). Youth is a middle-class
phenomenon, a luxury to which the poor have no access as they need to start
earning soon (Jones, 2009).
Social Construction of Adolescence as a Disorder: Erikson’s theory of ego

development saw the adolescent mind as a ‘mind of the moratorium’, and youth as a
period of ‘structured irresponsibility’ (Jones, 2009). However, when Margaret
Mead (1943, cited in Jones, 2009) studied transitions to adulthood in the traditional
society of Samoa, the girls they studied, could make a smooth transition to adult-
hood through rites of passage, far from experiencing adolescent ‘storm and stress’
talked about in development psychology. Adult roles were known, desirable and
achievable. Jahoda and Warren (1965, cited in Jones, 2009) argued that in tradi-
tional societies, where physiological maturity and social maturity occur simulta-
neously, there are no problems with youth. It was only in industrialised societies,
where there was neither appropriate training for adulthood nor a sure place in the
social world that young people faced an adjustment problem and could find
themselves temporarily in a ‘marginal world’ (Reuter, 1937, cited in Jones, 2009).
The prolonged emotional, psychological and economic dependency led to a
century-long enduring mythology of adolescence, depicted as a period of ‘storm
and stress’ subject to hormonally induced mood swings (Ruddick, 2003). Such
‘adolescent disorder’ is cultural rather than biological.
Social Construction of ‘Juvenile Delinquency’: As childhood is now seen as a

period when the real world of sexual, economic and public action is suspended,
children who assume a different position within the generational hierarchy are
considered a social and moral threat (Wyness, 2012). In fact, without opportunities
for productive civic engagement, young people’s frustrations boil over into violent
behaviour and lead to economic and social instability, sparks that can ignite
long-simmering disputes (World Bank, 2006).
Activities
Activity 9.3: Small Group Discussion on Social Construction of Childhood and

Problems in Childhood
social construction of childhood and its implications for problems in childhood.

1. Form four small groups of participants and allocate the following topics among
them for discussion:
a. Social construction of childhood by schooling.
b. Social construction of child development by Western sciences.
c. Cultural determinism and childhood vulnerability.
d. Social construction of adolescence.
2. Ask the small groups to read the relevant notes and discuss them with examples
from their work experience and implications for practice with them.
inputs.
4. Show the Summary Chart 9.2 to discuss social construction of childhood and
problems in childhood.
Linkages and the Cycle of Problems in Childhood
Poverty in Childhood
Concept: Nolan and Whelan (1996, cited in Lister, 2004) defined poverty in terms
of the inability to participate in society owing to lack of financial resources,
implying low income and low standard of living. Children living in poverty gen-
erally comprise:
• Children of landless and marginal farmers,
• Children of migrant and nomadic families,
• Children of unemployed/unorganised labour,
• Children of slum dwellers and
• Children in street situations.
Causes: Besides social exclusion, what causes child poverty, according to Luxton
(2002), are gendered division of labour, labour market segregation and segmenta-
tion, pay inequalities, the lack of public support for caregiving and men’s wide-
spread reluctance to pay child support.
Effects: Children are the hardest hit by poverty. Deprivation causes lifelong damage
to the mind and body of infants and small children. Child development, especially
in the first years of life, is a succession of biological developments, for which there
is seldom a second chance. Infant malnutrition, for instance, leads to irreversible
damage to health. It impedes the learning capacity of the child, which cannot be
repaired later in life. In the few cases where second chances exist, they are
invariably less effective and more costly than preventive action. Since poor families
tend to be larger than non-poor ones, children are also disproportionately repre-
sented among the poor. No age group suffers more from human poverty than
children (Vandemoortele, 2012). Not only are children likely to live in poverty and
suffer most from poverty than adults, children are also the main link for transmitting
poverty to the next generation (Mehrotra & Jolly, 1997, cited in Vandemoortele,
2012). Poverty begets poverty because child poverty perpetuates it. In this vicious
circle, malnourished girls grow up to become malnourished mothers who give birth
to underweight babies. Impoverished children become—as parents—transmitters of
poverty to the next generation (Vandemoortele, 2012).
Girls from poor families are vulnerable to commercial exploitation through
labour in the unorganised sector, sale, trafficking and prostitution, leading to
increase in teenage pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and mortality. Boys from poor families
seem to be relatively more vulnerable than girls to labour in the organised sector,
physical abuse, substance abuse and conflict with law (Desai, 2001).
Neglect of Children at Risk
Concept: Neglect is frequently defined as the failure of a parent or other person

with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical
care or supervision to the degree that the child’s health, safety and well-being are
threatened with harm (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2014). Since parents
are the main caretakers of children, at the micro-level the cause of child neglect is
inadequate parental care. Thus, child neglect may be defined as failure to ade-
quately provide for children’s basic needs due to inadequate parental care.
Causes: Children in the following situations are at risk of inadequate parental care:
Socially Excluded Children: Socially excluded children such as girls, children
with disabilities, Dalit children and tribal children face barriers in meeting their
basic needs.
Children of Parents in Difficult Situations: Children are at risk of inadequate
parental care when parents are in the following difficult situations:
• Parents affected by substance use, disability or HIV-infection/terminal illness.
• Children of parents facing conflict/violence.
Children Living with Single-Parents: Children are at risk of inadequate par-
ental care when brought up by single-parents:
• Children of unwed parents or sex workers.
• Death, separation, desertion or divorce of parents.
• Migration or imprisonment of a parent.
Children in Emergencies: Children in following emergencies are at risk of
neglect in meeting their basic needs and inadequate parental care:
• Children in natural disasters and
• Internally displaced children.
Effects: Neglected children are vulnerable to separation from parents, abuse,
commercial exploitation and conflict with law.
Child–Parents Separation
Concepts: According to the United Nations (UN) Guidelines for the Alternative
Care of Children (2009), children without parental care are children not in the
overnight care of at least one of their parents, for whatever reason and under
whatever circumstances. These could be:
• Separated children,
• Unaccompanied children,
• Orphans,
• Child-headed households,
• Abandoned/surrendered children,
• Runaway children and
• Children in institutions.
Causes: Parent–child separation generally results from a situation (1) within the
family or (2) in the surrounding environment that makes the family more vulnerable
to breaking up. The first type of separation is most commonly a result of poverty or
destitution; a child may leave, or be abandoned, in order to improve the family’s or
the child’s chances of survival. The second type is most commonly a result of the
insecurity caused by conflict or of an extreme situation such as famine (Save the

Children, 1998). Separation can occur due to voluntary or accidental separation,
abduction (Save the Children, 2004) or death of one or both parents.
Effects: All children depend on others for care and protection from harm as they
grow and develop. Children without parental care may face problems in survival
and development and may have to take on adult responsibilities for younger sib-
lings. They are vulnerable to abuse, trafficking and commercial exploitation and
recruitment for armed conflict.
Child Abuse
Concept: Child abuse is:

• Any intentional non-accidental physical, emotional and psychological or sexual
harm done to a child that endangers or impairs the child’s physical, emotional
and psychological or sexual health and development;
• By older children, parents, relatives, caretakers, neighbours, teachers, employ-
ers, police or strangers; in family, neighbourhood, street, school, institutions,
workplace or police/judicial custody (Desai, 2010).
Causes: According to the psychosocial theories of causes of child abuse, individual
personality characteristics or family characteristics of abusers are responsible for
child abuse. However, the critical theorists opine that people seem to be more
comfortable thinking of abuse as individual or familial although it is systemic or
structural (Burman, 2008). According to them, the causes of child abuse lie in the
adult–child power imbalance due to adultism and patriarchy, and/or socio-economic
problems, and cycle of abuse (Desai, 2010, p. 337).
Effects: Abused children develop low self-esteem, poor management of negative
emotions and problem-solving, and weak communication and social skills. These
traits further make them abusers of children as adults, unless they can break the
intergenerational transmission of abuse or the cycle of abuse.
Commercial Exploitation of Children
Concepts: In commercial exploitation of children:

• Child abuse is connected with cash or in-kind profit for the child and/or adult
third person or persons; and
• The third person or persons who make profit out of this abuse, that is, the
procurers or agents are part of the commercial and/or criminal nexus, com-
prising of largely men, but also women (Desai, 2010).
Commercial exploitation of children comprises of:

1. Exploitation of children for labour: takes place in organised hazardous industries
and unorganised begging, domestic and hotel sector; trafficked and bonded,
unpaid or underpaid.
2. Child marriage: customary union between bride and groom, of whom the bride
or both spouses are below the age of 18, that leads to abuse and commercial
exploitation of children.
3. Commercial sexual exploitation of children: takes the forms of child prostitu-
tion, sex tourism and pornography.
4. Trafficking and sale of children: is gender- and age-specific, rural to urban,
interstate and international, for begging, labour, prostitution, adoption, enter-
tainment, sale of organs and marriage (Desai, 2010).
Causes: According to a United Nations Development Programme Report (1999),
factors contributing to the increase in trafficking of women include globalisation,
and economic liberalisation, increased demand and supply of trafficked persons,
professionalisation of the traffickers and syndicates, modern transport, technology
and the Internet, growth of sex tourism, feminisation of poverty, trading in human
organs, changing nature of prostitution and erosion of social capital. On the other
hand, shifts in the economy have weakened the social structures that ordinarily
serve as a safety net to help meet basic needs, such as public health, education and
other social services, pushing them further and further beyond the reach of those
most in need. As more families drift towards the social and economic margins of
society, their children’s vulnerability to all forms of violence, abuse and exploita-
tion is exacerbated (ECPAT, 2014).
Effects: The result of commercial exploitation is not only impairment of the child’s
physical, emotional and psychological or sexual health and development, but also
child right to health and nutrition, housing, education, rest and recreation, and
participation (adapted from UNESCAP, 1999, cited in United Nations Children’s
Fund, 2001).
Conflict with Law in Childhood
Concept: The UN Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC, 2013) defines a ‘child in
conflict with the law’ as a child alleged as, accused of or recognised as having
infringed the criminal law. ‘Children in conflict with law’ describes the situation in
which the child is rather than labelling the child as a ‘juvenile delinquent’. Conflict
with law in childhood includes status offences, property offences and violent
offences (Desai, 2010, p. 382):
• Status Offences: Status offenders are children who commit an act that violates a
law or ordinance designed to regulate his or her behaviour because of his or her
age or status. Status offences are solely based on the offender’s age and are
unique to juveniles. Anyone above the legal age who engages in the same
behaviours would not be committing an offence (Hess & Drowns, 2004).
• Property Offences: Save the Children (2005) states that the overwhelming
majority of children in conflict with the law (over 90%) are petty offenders, who
mainly commit offences against property and four out of five children who
commit an offence only commit one in their lifetime.
• Violent Offences: Murder, sexual offences, school bullying and juvenile gangs
are manifestations of violent offences. Broadly speaking, the violent offenders
also include children associated with armed forces or armed groups.
Causes: Besides labelling children as ‘juvenile delinquents’, the causes of conflict
with law in childhood comprise of the following:
• Scientific construction of ‘normal’ childhood,
• Social construction of adolescence and testing of boundaries,
• Neglect and abuse,
• Poverty and class conflict and
• Neurobehavioural disorders.
UNICEF (2004) notes that children who have fled their homes due to
mistreatment may be exploited, threatened and treated violently by criminals are
treated by the police as criminals. Children who have been forced into prostitution
are also treated as criminals.
Effects: The philosophy of the justice system for children has generally been
retributive where lack of confidentiality and insensitive treatment by law enforce-
ment agencies and the courts aggravate children’s problems. More serious than the
inaction by the state are acts of commission against children, such as their arrest,
detention and torture (UNICEF, 2004).
Children Associated with Armed Conflict
The problem of poverty, unemployment, deprivation, exploitation and domination

experienced in tribal society has led to a movement for liberation from such con-
dition in these societies. In this struggle for liberation, which has at times taken the
form of armed conflict between insurgents and state armed forces, common people
including children have invariably been drawn either as victims or as participants.
Children have, however, suffered the most as victims. Not only have they found
themselves orphaned due to their parents death but are also physically assaulted,
raped, burnt and even impaired either by the security forces or by the insurgents.
Often they have found their habitat destroyed and are confined to camps without
adequate food, water, sanitation and schools. Insurgent groups recruit children, who
then have to go through rigorous training of combat warfare and hard life quite
early in life and then engage in war with the state armed forces. At times even the
state armed forces recruit children as militia, to fight insurgent groups. The latter is
most evident in the war against the Naxalites in Chhattisgarh. In instances where
children have not been recruited into combat forces, they have been used in varying
ways both by the insurgents and state armed forces as aids in their war against each
other. Often, this results in harassment and violence (physical and mental) from
both the warring parties (Xaxa, 2011).
Linkages of Problems in Childhood
The above concepts show the following linkages of problems in childhood and have
implications for adult life:
• The prejudicing ideologies justify role stereotypes, hierarchy, exclusion, dom-
ination, intolerance, oppression, exploitation and violence.
• All children are vulnerable to exclusion due to adultism and about half the
children are vulnerable due to sexism. A large number of children are vulnerable
due to one or the other disability, or belonging to the marginalised Dalit caste or
to tribal communities.
• Children belonging to the Dalit caste or to tribal communities and in
female-headed households generally live in poverty.
• Children are at risk of inadequate parental care/neglect when they have indi-
vidual, parental or situational problems.
• Neglected children are vulnerable to separation from parents, abuse, commercial
exploitation and conflict with law.
• Children separated from parents are vulnerable to abuse, commercial exploita-
tion and conflict with law.
• The child victims of commercial exploitation are generally neglected school
dropouts from the poverty groups who are commodified mainly for labour or
sexual consumption by the rich adults.
• Girls from poor families are vulnerable to commercial exploitation through
domestic labour, child marriage, sale, trafficking and prostitution, leading to
increase in teenage pregnancy, HIV and mortality.
• Boys from poor families are relatively more vulnerable than girls to labour in the
hazardous sectors, physical abuse, substance abuse and conflict with law.
• Children living in poverty, and neglected, abused and commercially exploited
children are more vulnerable to conflict with the law.
• Children in contact with law generally enter the insensitive retributive justice
system which leads to revictimisation of children.
Effects in Childhood
Neglect, separation from parents, abuse, commercial exploitation, conflict with law
or association with armed conflict in childhood can lead to the following problems,
amounting to loss of childhood and further vulnerability to neglect, abuse, com-
mercial exploitation and conflict with law:
• Loss of self-respect and dignity, leading to submissiveness and tolerance to
more abuse and exploitation.
• Problems with mental and emotional health and social relationships.

• Problems with physical health and development.
• Disruption of education, recreation and cultural life.
Implications for Adult Life and Cycle of Problems
Children’s well-being is crucial not only for their well-being in childhood, but for
their well-being as adults and that of their children as well. It is, therefore, vul-
nerability in childhood as a stage of human life that we are concerned with, for the
well-being in subsequent life stages and subsequent generations. The implications
of neglect, abuse, commercial exploitation, conflict with law or association with
armed conflict in childhood and for adult life are:
• Submissiveness and tolerance to more abuse and exploitation.
• Recycling of the prejudicing ideologies of adultism, sexism and so on.
• Survivor turning abuser/criminal and abusing and exploiting their own or others’
children and other vulnerable groups.
Services are needed for children to prevent vulnerability, exclusion, poverty,
neglect, abuse, commercial exploitation and conflict with law, and break the cycle
of problems in childhood.
Activities
Activity 9.4: Small Group Discussion on Understanding the Cycle of Problems in

Childhood
cycle of problems in childhood.

1. Form seven small groups of participants and allocate the following topics
among them for discussion of causes and implications:
a. Poverty in Childhood
b. Neglect of Children at Risk
c. Child–Parents Separation
d. Child Abuse
e. Commercial Exploitation of Children
f. Conflict with Law in Childhood
g. Association of Children with Armed Conflict
2. Ask the small groups to read the relevant notes and discuss the concepts, causes
and the implications of problems in childhood.
inputs.
4. Show Summary Chart 9.3 and discuss the linkages and cycle of problems in
childhood.
Questions for Discussion: Use the following questions for this activity:
• Do you see linkages in children’s problems and adult life? How?
• How do these linkages help to understand the cycle of problems in childhood?
• How can we break this cycle?

1. Show the PowerPoint slides/a chart on the learner objectives, read them one at a
time and ask the participants if they think they have achieved the objective.

Summary Chart 9.1 Prejudicing ideologies and problems in childhood
Prejudicing Ideology of ProtecƟve Exclusion Vulnerability of

AdulƟsm of Children Children to Abuse
Vulnerability of Girls
Prejudicing Ideology of Exclusion of Girls to Neglect, Abuse
Sexism and Commercial
ExploitaƟon
Vulnerability of
Exclusion and Dalits and Tribals to
Prejudicing Ideology of Poverty among Neglect, Abuse and
Casteism and Racism Dalits and Tribals Commercial
ExploitaƟon
Vulnerability of
Exclusion of Persons with Disability
Prejudicing Ideology of
Children with to Neglect, Abuse and
Ableism
Disability Commercial
ExploitaƟon
Summary Chart 9.2 Social construction of childhood and problems in

childhood
Social DomesƟcaƟon and Seclusion

ConstrucƟon of Dependency of of Children
Childhood Children
DisconƟnuity ConstrucƟon of
Developmentalism between 'Normal' and
Childhood and 'Deviant' in
Adulthood Childhood
'Juvenile
Social Adolescence
Delinquency'
ConstrucƟon of termed as a
Socially
Adolescence Disorder
Constructed
Summary Chart 9.3 Linkages and cycle of problems in childhood
Vulnerability in
Childhood
Implica ons for Poverty in
Adult Life Childhood
Effects in Neglect of
Childhood Children at Risk
Conflict with
Child-Parents
Law in
Separa on
Childhood
Commercial
Exploita on Child Abuse
of Children
Exercise for Activity 9.2: My Childhood Experience of Adultism

No. Adultist Statements Have you been How did you feel
told this when then? What
you were a child/ impact did it
adolescent? How? have on you?
1. You are only a child. Stop acting

like an adult.
2. Stop acting like a child and

grow up.
3. I know what is good for you.
4. I am fed up of cleaning the

mess you make.
5. We know what is good for you.
6. Don’t go out of the house to play

otherwise someone will hurt you.
7. I will tell your teacher that your

classmates are harassing you.
8. You need not know this now.

You will know when you grow up.
9. You are not capable of

making this decision by yourself.
10. You have to do what I tell you

without asking questions.
11. You should only study and not
worry about what is happening
in the family or in the society.
12. You will not understand until
I spank you.
13. If you do not do what I say,

you will have to leave my house.
Acknowledgements This module is adapted from part of the following chapter in a book by the
author: Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 1: Theories of Child Development and Vulnerability in
Childhood. In A Rights-Based Preventative Approach for Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood.
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20individual.pdf.
Module 10
The Ideology of Child Rights
Prerequisite Module
• The prerequisite module for this module is Critical Theories of Deconstruction
of Problems in Childhood (Module 9).
Introduction to the Ideology of Child Rights

and Responsibilities
Comparison of the Needs Versus the Rights Approach
To identify the core ideology of child rights, it is important to compare it with the
needs-based approach. According to Save the Children (2005), both the approaches
are based on a desire to help people survive and develop to their full potential. They
both seek to identify a range of assistance and actions that are needed to achieve
this. Where they differ is in their underlying assumptions and the implications of
these assumptions for programming. Summary Chart 10.1 compares the key fea-
tures of both the approaches.
History of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child
In 1924, the League of Nations endorsed the first Declaration on the Rights of the
Child. In 1948, the General Assembly adopted a second Declaration of the Rights
This module is co-authored by Murli Desai and Sheetal Goel.

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_10
276 10 The Ideology of Child Rights
of the Child, a brief seven-point statement that built on the 1924 Declaration. It
stated that ‘… men and women of all nations, recognising that mankind owes to the
child the best that it has to give, declare and accept it as their duty to meet this
obligation in all respects…’. The same year, the United Nations (UN) adopted and
proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), comprising of
values of human dignity drawn from secular humanism; freedom drawn from lib-
eralism; participation drawn from democracy; and equality drawn from socialism.
As far as children are concerned:
• All the articles of the UDHR are applicable to all human being including
children, except for Article 16, which is with reference to rights in marriage.
• Article 25 particularly states that motherhood and childhood are entitled to
special care and assistance. This article further states that all children, whether
born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.
• Article 26 states that parents will have the prior right to choose the kind of
education that shall be given to their children.
In 1959, a more detailed third Declaration of the Rights of the Child was adopted
by the UN General Assembly. However, a declaration is not a binding instrument
and does not impose specific obligations on Member States. It was the United
Nations International Year of the Child (1979) provided considerable momentum
internationally for childhood issues. A multitude of new child-focused organisa-
tions—national, regional and international—were founded during and immediately
after 1979. Conferences and workshops on a variety of childhood topics encouraged
the exchange of field experience across continents and disciplines. Research,
advocacy and networking on childhood issues led to revised definitions and
understanding of existing problems, highlighted new concerns and raised general
awareness of the magnitude of the threat to child well-being globally. Studies of
hazardous work and child abuse, for example, challenged previous notions that
physical deprivation—in terms of clean water, nutrition, and rest and so on—is the
only major threat to children globally and suggested that such social violations may
also be extremely common and severe. At the same time, traditional responses to
social distress, such as the institutionalisation of children separated from their
families, were found inadequate: they did not reach enough children, nor did they
have consistently positive impacts on the children that they did reach. This implied
the need for new ideas and new approaches (Boyden & Levison, 2000).
According to Boyden and Levison (2000), children’s rights advocates began to
gather evidence pointing to political causes of much childhood deprivation and
suffering. They showed that the State could imperil children just as much as protect
and nurture them, sometimes even under the guise of protection. They uncovered
instances not just of inaction by the State but, more seriously, of acts of commission
against children, such as their arrest, detention and torture. Practitioners and advo-
cates in children’s rights argued for the urgency of defining more precisely the
responsibilities of the modern nation state in relation to children and, especially, the
need to make more explicit its protective roles with regard to children deprived of
family or community support. The UN Commission on Human Rights eventually

began to consider a proposal advanced by the Polish government for a Convention
on the Rights of the Child (CRC), a Convention being more binding on States Parties
than a Declaration. The main idea was, essentially, to make the State accountable for
its effects on children. In 1989, the United Nations General Assembly unanimously
adopted the Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
The UNCRC is the most universally and speedily signed and ratified Convention
in the UN’s history. White (2003) posits the question of whether this is because
governments, power-holders and societies take young people’s needs and rights
seriously or precisely because they do not take them seriously and therefore do not
mind committing themselves to obligations which they do not intend to fulfil, and
which cannot be enforced. According to her, the latter is more likely to be true.
Importance of Child Rights
Human rights cover child rights, so why do we need the focus on child rights? The
Preamble of the UNCRC (1989) notes that the Convention is needed because:
• The child, by reason of his physical and mental immaturity, needs special
safeguards and care, including appropriate legal protection, before as well as
after birth.
• In all countries in the world, there are children living in exceptionally difficult
conditions, and that such children need special consideration.
• International cooperation for improving the living conditions of children in
every country, in particular in the developing countries, is important.
Values of Child Rights
The UNCRC (1989) highlights the following values in its Preamble:

• The inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of
the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world.
• Children should be fully prepared to live an individual life in society and brought
up in the spirit of peace, dignity, tolerance, freedom, equality and solidarity.
Rights-Based Goals for Children’s Well-Being
Following are the rights-based goals for children’s well-being:

• Grow up with dignity in a democratic family and supportive community.
• Achieve enriched development through health, education, play and recreation,
and training in vocational skills.
• Develop self-awareness, proactive thinking skills, emotional intelligence, sen-

sitive interpersonal communication skills and collaborative interpersonal rela-
tionship skills.
• Play a decisive and responsible role in their own life and a participatory role in
the family, school, community, and with reference to the social, cultural, eco-
nomic, political and natural environment.
• Be protected from discrimination, poverty, neglect, parental deprivation, abuse,
commercial exploitation, conflict with law and association with armed conflict.
Limitations of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child
Need for a Life Cycle Approach: The UNCRC focuses on children rather than
childhood as a life stage, implying that children are a never-changing separate
group. According to James and James (2004), the identity of ‘the child’ is a tran-
sient identity for the individual, simply a passing-through en route to adulthood.
A life-cycle approach is needed to understand childhood as a life stage, the expe-
riences of which have a bearing on future phases, either immediate or long term
(United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), 2001). According to Article 1 of the
UNCRC, ‘a child means every human being below the age of eighteen years unless
under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier’. This definition of
children suffers from conceptualisation of children as an agewise homogenous
group. Operationally, it raises the need and problems with reference to age verifi-
cation as two different sets of norms and laws apply to those below and those above
18. Moreover, the UNCRC definition of children as those up to the age of 18 years
is applied across the world, negating childhood as a social construct (James &
James, 2004). Legal age definitions are somewhat arbitrary and do not reflect the
range of children’s capacities, which vary from child to child and depend on the
contexts they grow up in, on children’s mental development, and their social,
economic, cultural and religious background (Lansdown, 2005, cited in
Inter-Agency Working Group on Children’s Participation, 2008). The rights-based
approach needs to use the life-cycle approach to contextualise rights in early
childhood, middle childhood and adolescence as different life stages.
Need for a Separate Focus on Adolescence: There is a need to consider adoles-
cence as a stage of transition between childhood and adulthood, rather than a stage
within childhood. Rights in adolescence need to be dealt with differently than those
in childhood.
Creating the Myth of ‘Normal’ Childhood: Wyness, Harrison, and Buchanan
(2004) note that the UNCRC is based on the norms of a ‘normal’ childhood
development, based on Western, white, middle class, male constructs of normality.
These are based on adultist notions of childhood as a basically biologically driven
‘natural’ phenomenon in which children are distinguished from adults by specific
physical and mental (as opposed to social) characteristics. Children are seen as
separated from the world of work and devoting their time to learning and play and
thus economically worthless, apolitical and asexual. Family is seen as the funda-
mental group of society, ignoring kinship and community as safe and acceptable
spheres inhabited by children (Wyness, 2012). UNCRC is transferring these
mythical norms of childhood to the world’s children. The transfer of these ‘normal’
norms to them makes their life seem deviant, inferior or pathological (White, 2003).
The world’s children are then vulnerable to services that control and work on them
to attain measures that bring them inside the bands of ‘normal’ (EU Canada Project,
2003).
Inadequate Child Participation Rights: The new paradigm in childhood studies
questions the understanding that children need rights because they are dependent
and in the formative period that they are an investment with a goal for outcome as
adults, and children’s interests are to be represented. According to this paradigm,
sentimentality towards children’s vulnerability is no substitute for the recognition of
their entitlement to the right to equal concern and respect as adults (Freeman 1983,
cited in Boyden & Levison, 2000). Importance needs to be given to the child
participatory approach for the recognition of children’s entitlement to the right to
equal concern and respect as adults. White (2003) notes the rights to expression of
views, communication of information and freedom in the UNCRC do not ade-
quately amount to right to participation. These do not deal with the blanket
exclusion of children from social, economic or political processes for which
appropriate age for specific responsibilities may be worked out. Ensuring child right
to family well-being, development and protection is an adult-driven process if the
child right to participation is not promoted.
Approach of the Sourcebook: In order to supplement some of these limitations of
the UNCRC, this Sourcebook does the following:
• Provides the foundation of the psychosocial theories of child development that
provide the life-cycle approach for age-appropriate intervention;
• Examines the sociological theories of childhood that provide the understanding
of diversity in childhood in the context of family and its environment;
• Focuses on enriching the child participatory approach that is at the core of the
child rights approach; and
• Includes the life skill approach that empowers the facilitators, children and the
primary stakeholders to use the child participatory approach more effectively.
Activities
Introductory Activity 10.1: Small Group Discussion on Ideology of Child Rights
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will understand the
ideology of child rights guaranteed by the UNCRC.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by child rights.
2. Form three small groups and allocate the following topics among them to read
and make presentations to the large group:
a. Comparison of the Needs versus the Rights Approach (see Summary
Chart 10.1)
b. History, Needs, Values and Goals of Child Rights
c. Limitations of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child
• What are the advantages of child rights?
• How can the limitations identified of the UNCRC be compensated?
• Categories of Child Rights and Responsibilities
• Principles of Child Rights
• Rights-based Approaches of Service Delivery Systems for Children
Categories of Child Rights and Responsibilities
Categories of Child Rights
Child rights are classified into the following categories:
Child’s Development Rights: Child development rights cover health and nutrition,
education, and rest and recreation.
Child’s Family Rights: Child’s family rights comprise:

• Growing up in a family, parenting by both parents, not to be separated from
parents and reunification with parents
• Democratic family and societal structure
• Family right to assistance for childcare
Child’s Protection Rights: Child’s protection rights cover protection from vul-
nerability, neglect, abuse, commercial exploitation, conflict with law and associa-
tion with armed conflict.
Child’s Participation Rights: Child’s participation rights comprise of:

• Child right and responsibility to express views, being heard and being given due
weight
• Child right and responsibility to seek, receive and impart information
• Child right and responsibility to freedom of thought, conscience and religion
Child’s Family Rights
Child’s family rights comprise the following:

• Child right to grow up in a family
• Parents as the main duty-bearers of child rights
• Child right not to be separated from parents
• Family right to assistance for childcare
Child Right to Grow Up in a Family: According to the UNCRC:
• The Preamble: Recognising that the child, for the full and harmonious devel-
opment of his or her personality, should grow up in a family environment, in an
atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding.
• Article 8(1): States parties shall undertake to respect the right of the child to
preserve his or her identity, including nationality, name and family relations as
recognised by law without unlawful interference.
Parents as the Main Duty-Bearers of Child Rights: According to the UNCRC:
• Article 5: States Parties shall respect the responsibilities, rights and duties of
parents or, where applicable, the members of the extended family or community
as provided for by local custom, legal guardians or other persons legally
responsible for the child, to provide, in a manner consistent with the evolving
capacities of the child, appropriate direction and guidance in the exercise by the
child of the rights recognised in the present Convention.
• Article 7(1): The child shall be registered immediately after birth and shall have
the right from birth to a name, the right to acquire a nationality and, as far as
possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents.
• Article 18(1): States Parties shall use their best efforts to ensure recognition of
the principle that both parents have common responsibilities for the upbringing
and development of the child. Parents or, as the case may be, legal guardians
have the primary responsibility for the upbringing and development of the child.
The best interests of the child shall be their basic concern.
Child Right not to be Separated from Parents: Article 9 emphasises the child
right not to be separated from his or her parents, as follows:
1. States Parties shall ensure that a child shall not be separated from his or her
parents against their will, except when competent authorities subject to judicial
review determine, in accordance with applicable law and procedures, that such
separation is necessary for the best interests of the child.
2. In any proceedings pursuant to paragraph 1 of the present article, all interested
parties shall be given an opportunity to participate in the proceedings and make
their views known.
3. States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or
both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents
on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child’s best interests.
Family Right to Assistance for Childcare: According to the UNCRC:
• The Preamble: Convinced that the family, as the fundamental group of society
and the natural environment for the growth and well-being of all its members
and particularly children, should be afforded the necessary protection and
assistance so that it can fully assume its responsibilities within the community
• Article 18(2): For the purpose of guaranteeing and promoting the rights set forth
in the present Convention, States Parties shall render appropriate assistance to
parents and legal guardians in the performance of their child-rearing responsi-
bilities and shall ensure the development of institutions, facilities and services
for the care of children.
• Article 18(3): States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that
children of working parents have the right to benefit from childcare services and
facilities for which they are eligible.
• Thus, the UNCRC implies that the family has the right to livelihood, housing,
health, child day care and community support so that it can fully assume its
responsibility for children within the community.
Child’s Development Rights
Article 6: Article 6 emphasises the rights to life, survival and development as

follows:
1. States Parties shall recognise that every child has the inherent right to life.
2. States Parties shall ensure to the maximum extent possible the survival and
development of the child.
Article 27: Article 27 emphasises the right to development, as follows:
1. States Parties recognise the right of every child to a standard of living adequate
for the child’s physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development.
2. The parent(s) or others responsible for the child have the primary responsibility
to secure, within their abilities and financial capacities, the conditions of living
necessary for the child’s development.
3. States Parties, in accordance with national conditions and within their means,
shall take appropriate measures to assist parents and others responsible for the
child to implement this right and shall in case of need provide material assis-
tance and support programmes, particularly with regard to nutrition, clothing
and housing.
Child’s development rights to health, education and rest, recreation and cultural
life are discussed in the UNCRC in more details.
Child’s Health Rights
Article 24: States Parties recognise the right of the child to the enjoyment of the
highest attainable standard of health and to facilities for the treatment of illness and
rehabilitation of health. States Parties shall strive to ensure that no child is deprived
of his or her right of access to such health care services.
1. States Parties shall pursue full implementation of this right and, in particular,
shall take appropriate measures:
a. To diminish infant and child mortality;
b. To ensure the provision of necessary medical assistance and health care to all
children with emphasis on the development of primary health care;
c. To combat disease and malnutrition, including within the framework of
primary health care, through, inter alia, the application of readily available
technology and through the provision of adequate nutritious foods and clean
drinking-water, taking into consideration the dangers and risks of environ-
mental pollution;
d. To ensure appropriate prenatal and post-natal health care for mothers;
e. To ensure that all segments of society, in particular parents and children, are
informed, have access to education and are supported in the use of
basic knowledge of child health and nutrition, the advantages of breast-
feeding, hygiene and environmental sanitation and the prevention of
accidents;
f. To develop preventive health care, guidance for parents and family planning
education and services.
2. States Parties shall take all effective and appropriate measures with a view to
abolishing traditional practices prejudicial to the health of children.
Child’s Education Rights
Article 28(1): States Parties recognise the right of the child to education, and with a
view to achieving this right progressively and on the basis of equal opportunity,
they shall, in particular:
(a) Make primary education compulsory and available free to all;

(b) Encourage the development of different forms of secondary education,
including general and vocational education, makes them available and
accessible to every child and takes appropriate measures such as the intro-
duction of free education and offering financial assistance in case of need;
(c) Make higher education accessible to all on the basis of capacity by every
appropriate means;
(d) Make educational and vocational information and guidance available and
accessible to all children;
(e) Take measures to encourage regular attendance at schools and the reduction of
dropout rates.
Article 29(1): Article 29(1) emphasises the goals of education, as follows: ‘States
Parties agree that the education of the child shall be directed to:
(a) The development of the child’s personality, talents and mental and physical
abilities to their fullest potential;
(b) The development of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms, and
for the principles enshrined in the Charter of the United Nations;
(c) The development of respect for the child’s parents, his or her own cultural
identity, language and values, for the national values of the country in which
the child is living, the country from which he or she may originate, and for
civilisations different from his or her own;
(d) The preparation of the child for responsible life in a free society, in the spirit of
understanding, peace, tolerance, equality of sexes and friendship among all
peoples, ethnic, national and religious groups and persons of indigenous origin;
(e) The development of respect for the natural environment’.
Child’s Rights to Play, Recreation and Cultural Life
Article 31: Article 31 of the UNCRC emphasises the right to play, recreation and
cultural life, as follows:
1. States Parties recognise the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in
play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to par-
ticipate freely in cultural life and the arts.
2. States Parties shall respect and promote the right of the child to participate fully
in cultural and artistic life and shall encourage the provision of appropriate and
equal opportunities for cultural, artistic, recreational and leisure activity.
Article 30: In those States in which ethnic, religious or linguistic minorities or
persons of indigenous origin exist, a child belonging to such a minority or who is
indigenous shall not be denied the right, in community with other members of his or
her group, to enjoy his or her own culture, to profess and practise his or her own
religion, or to use his or her own language.
Lester and Russell (2010) note that the two elements of Article 31 highlight three
separate but interrelated roles for States Parties: recognising, respecting and pro-
moting children’s right to play. According to them, all the ‘three Ps’ of child rights
protection, participation and provision, relate to children’s play. Play is not a luxury
to be considered after other rights; it is an essential and integral component under-
pinning the principles of the UNCRC. Adults should be aware of the importance of
play and promote and protect the conditions that support it. Any intervention to
promote play must acknowledge its characteristics and allow sufficient flexibility,
unpredictability and security for children to play freely. However, children’s play
belongs to children; adults should not destroy children’s own places for play through
insensitive planning or the pursuit of other adult agendas, or by creating places and
programmes that segregate children and control their play (Lester & Russell, 2010).
Child’s Protection Rights
The following articles of the UNCRC provides child protection rights.
Article 19: Article 19 of the UNCRC deals with right to protection from neglect,
abuse and exploitation, as follows:
1. States parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and
educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental
violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or
exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guar-
dian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child.
2. Such protective measures should, as appropriate, include effective procedures
for the establishment of social programmes to provide necessary support for the
child and for those who have the care of the child, as well as for other forms of
prevention and for identification, reporting, referral, investigation, treatment and
follow-up of instances of child maltreatment described heretofore, and, as
appropriate, for judicial involvement.
Article 28(2): States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that
school discipline is administered in a manner consistent with the child’s human
dignity and in conformity with the present Convention.
Article 34: States Parties undertake to protect the child from all forms of sexual
exploitation and sexual abuse. For these purposes, States Parties shall in particular
take all appropriate national, bilateral and multilateral measures to prevent:
(a) The inducement or coercion of a child to engage in any unlawful sexual
activity;
(b) The exploitative use of children in prostitution or other unlawful sexual
practices;
(c) The exploitative use of children in pornographic performances and materials.
Article 35: States Parties shall take all appropriate national, bilateral and multi-
lateral measures to prevent the abduction of, the sale of or traffic in children for any
purpose or in any form.
Article 36: States Parties shall protect the child against all other forms of
exploitation prejudicial to any aspects of the child’s welfare.
Article 39: States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to promote physical
and psychological recovery and social reintegration of a child victim of any form of
neglect, exploitation or abuse; torture or any other form of cruel, inhuman or
degrading treatment or punishment; or armed conflicts. Such recovery and reinte-
gration shall take place in an environment, which fosters the health, self-respect and
dignity of the child.
The World Report on violence against children by Pinheiro (2006), the inde-
pendent expert for the United Nations, identified the following key principles which
are reflected in his recommendations:
• No violence against children is justifiable. Children should never receive less
protection than adults;
• All violence against children is preventable. States must invest in
evidence-based policies and programmes to address factors that give rise to
violence against children;
• States have the primary responsibility to uphold children’s rights to protection
and access to services, and to support families’ capacity to provide children with
care in a safe environment;
• States have the obligation to ensure accountability in every case of violence;
• The vulnerability of children to violence is linked to their age and evolving
capacity. Some children, because of gender, race, ethnic origin, disability or
social status are particularly vulnerable;
• Children have the right to express their views and have them given due weight
in the planning and implementation of policies and programmes.
Child’s Participation Rights
According to Boyden and Levison (2003, cited in White, 2003), in the provision
rights, children received health, education and protection services which were also
being provided under the welfare approach. It is the child’s right to participation
that is at the core of the child rights-based approach. Child’s participation rights
even change the welfare approach of development and protection. While receiving
development provisions and protection, children have the right to participate.
Child’s Right to Communication of Information: Articles 13 and 17 of the

UNCRC guarantee child right to communication of information as follows.
Article 13: Article 13 of the UNCRC emphasises child right to communication for
information, as follows:
1. The child shall have the right to freedom of expression; this right shall include
freedom to seek, receive and impart information and ideas of all kinds,
regardless of frontiers, either orally, in writing or in print, in the form of art, or
through any other media of the child’s choice.
2. The exercise of this right may be subject to certain restrictions, but these shall
only be such as are provided by law and are necessary:
(a) For respect of the rights or reputations of others; or
(b) For the protection of national security or of public order, or of public health
or morals.
Article 17: States Parties recognise the important function performed by the mass
media and shall ensure that the child has access to information and material from a
diversity of national and international sources, especially those aimed at the pro-
motion of his or her social, spiritual and moral well-being and physical and mental
health. To this end, States Parties shall:
(a) Encourage the mass media to disseminate information and material of social
and cultural benefit to the child and in accordance with the spirit of Article 29;
(b) Encourage international cooperation in the production, exchange and dissem-
ination of such information and material from a diversity of cultural, national
and international sources;
(c) Encourage the production and dissemination of children’s books;
(d) Encourage the mass media to have particular regard to the linguistic needs of
the child who belongs to a minority group or who is indigenous;
(e) Encourage the development of appropriate guidelines for the protection of the
child from information and material injurious to his or her well-being.
Often the issue is not that children are incapable of making decisions, but that
their decisions are based on poor information, partial information or information
that they have not been able to interpret well for lack of experience. Then,
because children are poorly informed in the first place, we criticise their choices.
Even when they have been informed, children may not be able to make the right
judgments because they do not have the power to make choices. Children often
have sound ideas about their problems and needs and the possible solutions to
these and are better able to protect themselves when properly informed and given
some say in decisions and processes affecting them (Boyden & Levison, 2000).
Access to information is a necessary ingredient for genuine participation.
When girls and boys have access to child-friendly information on issues affect-
ing them, they are better able to make informed decisions. Significant efforts
should be made to increase children’s access to information on issues, policies,
programmes and governance structures that impact on them (Save the Children,
2006).
Child’s Right to Expression of Views, being Heard and being given

Importance: Article 12 of the UNCRC emphasises child right to expression of
one’s views, as follows:
1. States Parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own
views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child, the
views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and
maturity of the child.
2. For this purpose, the child shall in particular be provided the opportunity to be
heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child, either
directly, or through a representative or an appropriate body, in a manner con-
sistent with the procedural rules of national law.
Jones and Welch (2011) note that the child rights-based approach emphasises
children’s dignity, competence and resilience, and children’s voice. Children’s
voice means children being able to speak or express. It is also about children’s
experiences, opinions, ideas being worthy of attention and being given value. In this
approach, children are experts on their own lives and active and able participants,
capable of judgment and insight. Adults are sensitive to the growing capabilities of
the child and support and involve them in making decisions. Children are also
encouraged to take responsibilities within the family and community (Jones &
Welch, 2011).
Significant efforts are needed to create a culture of listening and responding to
the views of girls and boys. Promoting children’s participation is a time-consuming
process of empowering children and preparing adults. Taking children’s partici-
pation seriously involves transforming the power relations between adults and
children. It entails a long, gradual process of changing adult attitudes, behaviour,
institutional practices, approaches, procedures and mechanisms as children’s per-
sonhood is recognised at different levels. When we have arrived at a clear vision of
the positive impact of children’s participation and citizenship, management support
and resource investments are made that ensure commitment to a quality process of
creating a culture of listening to children (Save the Children, 2006).
Child’s Rights to Freedom: Articles 14 and 15 of the UNCRC guarantee child

right to freedom as follows.
Article 14: Article 14 emphasises child right to freedom, as follows:

1. States Parties shall respect the right of the child to freedom of thought, con-
science and religion.
2. States Parties shall respect the rights and duties of the parents and, when
applicable, legal guardians, to provide direction to the child in the exercise of his
or her right in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the child.
3. Freedom to manifest one’s religion or beliefs may be subject only to such
limitations as are prescribed by law and are necessary to protect public safety,
order, health or morals, or the fundamental rights and freedoms of others.
Child Right to Freedom of Association: Article 15 of the UNCRC states that:

1. States Parties recognise the rights of the child to freedom of association and to
freedom of peaceful assembly.
2. No restrictions may be placed on the exercise of these rights other than those
imposed in conformity with the law and which are necessary in a democratic
society in the interests of national security or public safety, public order (ordre
public), the protection of public health or morals or the protection of the rights
and freedoms of others.
Based on the right to freedom of association, the following forms of children’s
associations/collectives can be encouraged:
• Children’s culture and media clubs
• Children’s sports clubs
• Children’s environment/nature clubs
• Students’ councils in schools and colleges
• Children’s parliaments
• Children’s unions
Need for Child Responsibilities Corresponding with Child Rights
According to Boyden and Levison (2003, cited in White, 2003), growing up

without responsibility is not necessarily the most effective way to promote chil-
dren’s well-being and best interests. And a sense of responsibility develops only
with participation. Child rights and corresponding main responsibilities of children
are tabulated in Summary Chart 10.2.
Activities
Activity 10.2: Artwork on Categories of Child Rights
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will:

1. Understand the categories of child rights guaranteed by the UNCRC and
2. Learn the skills to use media for dissemination on child rights.
1. Divide the participants into four small groups and assign each group a category
of the following four rights:
(1) Right to family care
(2) Right to development
(3) Right to protection

(4) Right to participation (see Summary Chart 10.3)
2. Give a copy of the UNCRC to each group and ask them to identify articles that
talk about their category of rights.
3. Ask each small group to discuss the following questions on the category given
to them.
• What does this right include?
• Give examples of when and why are these rights not achieved.
• How can these rights be achieved?
4. Ask each group to prepare some artwork of the child rights in their category.
5. Ask them to present their artwork and posters to the larger group.
• What was your experience of doing this activity?
• Do you think child rights are a fundamental aspect of our daily lives? How and
why?
• How important it is to spread the message about child rights? Does it help others
learn about child rights?
Activity 10.3: Exercise on Matching Child Rights with Responsibilities
to balance child rights with child responsibilities.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by child responsibilities and why these are
needed.
2. Show Summary Chart 10.2 on Child Rights and Responsibilities.
3. From the Exercise on Matching Child Rights and Responsibilities (see p. 305
and 306), cut out each right and each responsibility and distribute to individuals
in the group. Ask them to look for the matching right/responsibility.
4. Once they find their match, ask them to read it aloud and discuss each right with
the corresponding responsibility.
Answer Key for the Facilitator: 1-i; 2-j; 3-k; 4-h; 5-g; 6-l; 7-e; 8-b; 9-f; 10-c;
11-a; 12-d.
• What do you feel about child responsibilities?
• What are the responsibilities of parents to achieve child rights?
• What are the responsibilities of the state to achieve child rights?

Principles of Child Rights
Child Rights Principles
Child rights principles comprise of the following:

• Foster and ensure self-respect, dignity and worth of every child, including those
who have disability, are victims of crime or are in conflict with law.
• Primary consideration to the best interests of the child, in all actions concerning
children.
• Ensure rights of every child without discrimination by age, gender, ethnicity,
religion, disability and class.
• State and society as duty-bearers of child rights are legally accountable to meet
these rights.
Dignity of the Child
Dignity of the child is emphasised throughout the UNCRC (1989):
Preamble: The Preamble states the following:

• In accordance with the principles proclaimed in the Charter of the United
Nations, recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable
rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice
and peace in the world.
• The peoples of the United Nations have, in the Charter, reaffirmed their faith in
fundamental human rights and in the dignity and worth of the human person and
have determined to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger
freedom.
Article 16(1): No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with
his or her privacy, family, home or correspondence, or to unlawful attacks on his or
her honour and reputation.
Article 16(2): The child has the right to the protection of the law against such
interference or attacks.
Article 23(1): States Parties recognise that a mentally or physically disabled child
should enjoy a full and decent life, in conditions which ensure dignity, promote
self-reliance and facilitate the child’s active participation in the community.
Article 28(2): States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that
school discipline is administered in a manner consistent with the child’s human
dignity and in conformity with the present Convention.
Article 37©: Every child deprived of liberty shall be treated with humanity and
respect for the inherent dignity of the human person, and in a manner which takes
into account the needs of persons of his or her age.
Article 39: States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to promote physical
and psychological recovery and social reintegration of a child victim of: any form
of neglect, exploitation or abuse; torture or any other form of cruel, inhuman or
degrading treatment or punishment; or armed conflicts. Such recovery and reinte-
gration shall take place in an environment which fosters the health, self-respect and
dignity of the child.
Article 40(1): States Parties recognise the right of every child alleged as, accused of,
or recognised as having infringed the penal law to be treated in a manner consistent
with the promotion of the child’s sense of dignity and worth, which reinforces the
child’s respect for the human rights and fundamental freedoms of others and which
takes into account the child’s age and the desirability of promoting the child’s
reintegration and the child’s assuming a constructive role in society.
Primary Consideration to the Best Interests of the Child
The UNCRC (1989) not only accepts that children are subjects of the same rights as
adults, it also acknowledges the special status of childhood by providing specific
rights only to those under the age of 18 years, such as the ‘best interest principle’.
Article 3(1): In all actions concerning children, whether undertaken by public or
private social welfare institutions, courts of law, administrative authorities or leg-
islative bodies, the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration.
Article 9(1): States Parties shall ensure that a child shall not be separated from his
or her parents against their will, except when competent authorities subject to
judicial review determine, in accordance with applicable law and procedures, that
such separation is necessary for the best interests of the child.
Article 9(3): States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from
one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both
parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child’s best interests.
Article 18(1): States Parties shall use their best efforts to ensure recognition of the
principle that both parents have common responsibilities for the upbringing and
development of the child. Parents or, as the case may be, legal guardians have the
primary responsibility for the upbringing and development of the child. The best
interests of the child will be their basic concern.
Article 20(1): A child temporarily or permanently deprived of his or her family
environment, or in whose own best interests cannot be allowed to remain in that
environment, shall be entitled to special protection and assistance provided by the
State.
Article 21: States Parties that recognise and/or permit the system of adoption shall
ensure that the best interests of the child shall be the paramount consideration.
Supporting children’s best interests requires the perspective that they have valid
insights into their well-being, valid solutions to their problems and a valid role in
implementing those solutions. Hence children should play a part in defining what is
in their own best interests (Boyden & Levison, 2000). According to UNICEF
(2001), these rights imply the following:
• Children’s own views are a key component in determining their best interests
and should be considered according to the child’s age and maturity.
• The child’s best interests should serve as a mediating principle in conflicts
between the child/children and others, and between conflicting rights of the
individual child.
Universality and Non-discrimination
Universalism is grounded in the principles of solidarity and citizenship; it can foster

social cohesion and build coalitions across classes, groups and generations. If the
poor are provided with access to the same kinds of services enjoyed by the rich,
universalism may also act as an instrument for redistribution and social mobility
and is more likely to have quality and politically sustainable (Sen, 1999).
The UNCRC (1989) emphasises universality and non-discrimination through the
following articles.
Article 1: For the purposes of the present Convention, a child means every human
being below the age of eighteen years…
Article 2: of the UNCRC deals with right to non-discrimination as follows:
1. States Parties shall respect and ensure the rights set forth in the present
Convention to each child within their jurisdiction without discrimination of any
kind, irrespective of the child’s or his or her parent’s or legal guardian’s race,
colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national, ethnic or
social origin, property, disability, birth or other status.
2. States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that the child is
protected against all forms of discrimination or punishment on the basis of the
status, activities, expressed opinions or beliefs of the child’s parents, legal
guardians or family members.
Article 29(1d): States Parties agree that the education of the child shall be directed
to the preparation of the child for responsible life in a free society, in the spirit of
understanding, peace, tolerance, equality of sexes and friendship among all peoples,
ethnic, national and religious groups and persons of indigenous origin.
The Constitutional Fundamental Rights prohibit discrimination on grounds of
religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth.
State and Societal Accountability
One of the key differences between the needs and the rights approaches is that a
needs-based approach does not come with accountability. Many rights have
developed from needs, but a rights-based approach adds legal and moral obligations
and accountability. According to UNICEF (2001), human rights add the notion of
accountability and social justice to the development agenda. To have rights is to
have claims on institutions and people that they should help in ensuring the real-
isation of these rights.
Duty-Bearers: If children are the holders of rights and have a legal entitlement that
their rights are secured, then it is essential that those responsible for delivering on
these rights are identified and made accountable and responsive. If an established
duty-bearer fails in his/her responsibility, she/he can expect to be brought to
account, e.g., for employing underage workers or abusing children in institutions
(Save the Children, 2005).
The core concept of a right is that of an agreement or ‘social contract’ which is
established between the person(s) who holds a right (often referred to as the
‘rights-holder’), and the person(s) or institution(s) which then have obligations and
responsibilities in relation to the realisation of that right (often referred to as the
‘duty-bearer’). Central to the idea of human rights is establishing and sustaining the
relationship between the rights-holder and the duty-bearer. States (and other
‘duty-bearers’) have a primary responsibility to ensure that the rights of all people
are equally respected, protected and fulfilled. If children are the holders of rights
and have a legal entitlement that their rights are secured, then it is essential that
those responsible for delivering on these rights are identified and made accountable
and responsive. If an established duty-bearer fails in his/her responsibility, she/he
can expect to be brought to account, e.g., for employing underage workers or
abusing children in institutions. Rights holders themselves are responsible to
respect and not to violate the rights of others, either morally or legally through
requirements in national legislation (Save the Children, 2005).
State as the Primary Duty-Bearer: Human rights have traditionally focused on
the conduct of official institutions and the special accountability of those respon-
sible for ensuring justice. Once a state has adopted a particular international
Convention, it is obliged to respect, protect, promote and fulfil the human rights
covered by that Convention. States are the primary duty-bearers. Their duty means
that they have to ensure implementation also when it comes to private institutions
like private schools, religious centres and workplaces. They have obligations
towards all children within their jurisdiction (e.g. refugees) and not just their own
citizens (UNICEF 2001). Through the process of signing and ratifying, the UNCRC
countries have made a promise to children, and more broadly to society, and the
international community. Once a country becomes a State Party to the UNCRC, it
has an obligation to adapt or change legislation and policies, and practices that will
bring about the realisation of all children’s rights (economic, social, cultural, civil
and political) and conform to the UNCRC. These countries have also made a
commitment to make available the maximum available resources and to prioritise
children’s interests in decision-making affecting them (Save the Children, 2005).
The State has the obligation to respect, protect and fulfil rights:
• Respect: States must not interfere directly or indirectly with the enjoyment of
the right.
• Protect: States must take measures that prevent third parties from interfering
with the enjoyment of the right.
• Fulfil (facilitate): States must adopt appropriate legislative, administrative,
budgetary, judicial, promotional and other measures towards the full realisation
of the right.
• Fulfil (provide): States must directly provide assistance or services for the
realisation of these rights (Save the Children, 2005).
States are the primary duty-bearers. Their duty means that they have to ensure
implementation also when it comes to private institutions like private schools,
religious centres and workplaces. They have obligations towards all children within
their jurisdiction (e.g. refugees) and not just their own citizens (UNICEF 2001). The
Fundamental Rights of the Indian Constitution also makes the Indian state
accountable to assure the rights of equality and freedom and right against
exploitation, justifiable in the court of law.
Non-State Duty-Bearers: The non-state duty-bearers can be primary or secondary.
Primary Duty-Bearers: The UNCRC recognises parents, family and commu-

nity as the primary caregivers, protectors and guides of children:
• Preamble: The family needs necessary protection and assistance so that it can
fully assume its responsibilities within the community.
• Article 5: Parents, the members of the extended family and community have
responsibilities, rights and duties to provide appropriate direction and guidance
in the exercise by the child of the rights recognised in the present Convention.
From the community, teachers, Anganwadi workers, crèche workers, Child
Welfare Committees, Juvenile Justice Boards, staff of children’s homes, children’s
NGOs, etc. who work directly with children can be considered primary duty-bearers
of child rights.
Secondary Duty-Bearers: Institutions and organisations working indirectly

with children are secondary duty-bearers. In villages, Village Panchayats, Primary
Health Centres and Mahila Mandals and in cities/ towns, Ward Committees,
women’s groups and NGOs, citizens’ groups, senior citizens’ groups, youth groups,
Lions/Rotary Clubs, and family welfare NGOs are secondary duty-bearers.
Activities
Activity 10.4: Role-Plays on Principles of Child Rights
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will:

1. Understand the principles of child rights and
2. Learn the skills to use the medium of role-plays to disseminate child rights
principles.
1. Ask the participants what they mean by principles of child rights.
2. Show Summary Chart 10.4 on principles of child rights.
3. Divide the participants into four small groups and assign each group a category
of the four principles of child rights:
4. Give a copy of the UNCRC to each group and ask them to identify articles that
talk about their category of child rights principles.
5. Ask the small groups to discuss the following questions on each of these
categories.
• What does this principle include?
• Give examples of when and why are these principles not followed.
• How can these principles be followed?
6. The small groups prepare role-plays on dissemination of the respective principle
and present them to the large group for further inputs.
Activity 10.5: Planning Workshops on Awareness of Child Rights for Primary

Duty-Bearers of Child Rights
Learner Outcome: The learner outcome of this activity is that the participants will
learn to plan workshops on awareness of child rights for primary duty-bearers of
child rights.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by primary duty-bearers of child rights and
who are they.
2. Form six small groups and allocate the following primary duty-bearers among
them:
(1) School teachers
(2) Anganwadi and crèche/day care workers
(3) Staff of children’s homes

(4) Child Welfare Committees
(5) Juvenile Justice Boards
(6) Staff of NGOs for children
2. The small groups can plan the awareness workshops on child rights in the
following format:
(1) Target Group and Number of Participants
(2) Objectives
(3) Schedule of Topics and Activities (Summary Chart 10.5)
Rights-Based Approaches of Service Delivery Systems

for Children
Rights-Based Approach for Service Delivery for Children
The limitations of the residual welfare approach can be prevented by the

rights-based approach to service delivery systems for children which is important to
break the recurring cycle of problems in childhood. Save the Children (2005)
identified the following practical benefits of the rights-based approach:
• International agreement and legitimacy: The goal and standards are univer-
sally agreed and set out in an international legal framework which is shared by
governments, donors and civil society. This gives organisations legitimacy and
authority.
• A clear, shared long-term goal (regarding the fulfilment of human rights):
This goal can be shared by everyone working in relief and development, along
with the standards to measure progress towards it.
• Accountability: The responsibilities of governments, donors, the private sector,
communities and individuals are identified and various ways in which they can
be held accountable have been developed and tested.
• Empowerment: The active participation of disadvantaged and discriminated-
against groups is seen as essential to achieving social justice, non-discrimination
and pro-poor development.
• Equity: There is a strong focus on justice, equality and freedom and a will-
ingness to tackle the power issues that lie at the root of poverty and exploitation.
There is a commitment to reach the most excluded.
• Greater impact and effectiveness: Because of its emphasis on accountability,

empowerment and activism, the rights-based approach is seen as being more
effective in the fight against injustice, poverty and exploitation.
• An integrated approach: Rights-based approaches incorporate what is widely
regarded as ‘good development practice’ into one overall holistic approach.
The rights-based principles of service delivery systems for children comprise of
accountability, universality and non-discrimination. These principles have implica-
tions for availability and quality of services and comprehensive, systemic, community-
based and preventative approaches for service delivery systems for children.
Availability and Quality of Service Delivery
Hong (n.d.) recommends the following common criteria to assess the adequacy of
services:
Availability: A range of factors can determine availability, including whether or not
the services are actually functioning and with adequate coverage.
Accessibility: Are services inclusive? Are clients geographically, socially or
logistically marginalised from reaching or accessing them?
Relevance: Does the service delivery reflect the needs, expectations and social
norms of users? If it does not, potential users are unlikely to use them.
Quality: The defining features of the quality of the service vary depending on the
sector and type of service offered. Quality of service can refer to the grade of
efficiency and effectiveness, but it must also include the nature of relationships with
users and the degree of participation.
Participation: The accountability of the service to users includes the participation
of children and their families by being consulted and involved in decisions and
various processes to ensure accessibility, relevance and quality.
Preventative Approach
The preventative approach is an imperative in the rights-based approach as com-

pared to merely deal with social problems as they arise (a reactive approach). It is the
only way to prevent and break the cycle of problems that children face as this
approach is grounded in the ecological perspective, oriented to the future,
empowerment-focused, developmental (adapted from Downs, et al., 2009),
cost-effective and prevents labelling of children. To prevent and break the cycle of
problems in childhood, Desai (2013) used the public health care prevention model to
propose a rights-based comprehensive policy approach for children as shown below:
1. At the primary prevention level, policy for children needs to aim at prevention
of children’s vulnerability by meeting the basic needs for development of all
children.
2. At the secondary prevention level, policy for children needs to aim at prevention
of children’s neglect and poverty, by providing social support services to
children at risk.
3. At the tertiary prevention level, policy for children needs to aim at prevention of
violence against children by providing socio-legal protection.
Universal Community-Based Approach
Services for child welfare and child protection should be universally available and
not dependent on the voluntariness of the organisations that implement them. The
community base for children’s programmes is useful for universality as it can have
a better reach. This approach can also use the community resources (human and
material) and strengths (existing mechanisms), and takes into consideration the
wishes of a community and its feedback in order to develop a project. Families,
teachers, community and religious leaders, as well as government and
non-governmental representatives, all can work together. Specific objectives of
community mobilisation are to empower a community through reinforcement of its
capacities and social networks and to create an appropriate and sustainable project
through community involvement and ownership (Terre des Hommes, 2006).
Save the Children (2010) notes that community-based mechanisms play an
important role because:
• They are in proximity to where children and families live.
• Mobilisation of and support for a network of community mechanisms have
potential for significant coverage at scale and may promote long-term sustain-
ability of child rights action.
• In resource-poor settings and places where the government is unable to fulfil its
duties, community mechanisms may support and supplement government
capacity.
• It is important to build on pre-existing mechanisms and practices at community
level.
• Community mechanisms are important for the functioning of the system and
also draw support from the wider system.
• Ownership and engagement (including by children, families, communities and
government) at all levels is important.
• Community mechanisms are also key local ways of supporting social trans-
formation, such as changing social norms, beliefs, attitudes and practices in
favour of child rights.
• Community is the important system to prevent problems for children and protect
and rehabilitate them.
The universal community-based approach can meet the following common
criteria recommended by Hong (n.d.) more effectively:
Availability: A range of factors can determine availability, including whether or not

the services are actually functioning and with adequate coverage.
Accessibility: Are services inclusive? Are clients geographically, socially or
logistically marginalised from reaching or accessing them?
Relevance: Does the service delivery reflect the needs, expectations and social
norms of users? If it does not, potential users are unlikely to use them.
Quality: The defining features of the quality of the service vary depending on the
sector and type of service offered. Quality of service can refer to the grade of
efficiency and effectiveness, but it must also include the nature of relationships with
users and the degree of participation.
Participation: The accountability of the service to users includes the participation
of children and their families by being consulted and involved in decisions and
various processes to ensure accessibility, relevance and quality.
Single-Window System for Convergence of Multidisciplinary Contribution
The UN Guidelines on Justice in Matters involving Child Victims and Witnesses of

Crime (2005) recommend a multidisciplinary approach in developing protocols for
cooperation among the wide array of services such as victim support, advocacy,
economic assistance, counselling, education, health, legal and social services,
together with the police and the prosecutor. Hong (n.d.) notes that several social
centres may provide different services but well-coordinated so that there is
one-window system to prevent fragmentation and facilitate convergence. Working
together for successful outcomes for children is essential. To facilitate this, it is
important that agencies coordinate their activities and are clear about both their
responsibilities and their expectations of others. Even though one designated child
protection agency should have overall accountability, it may not provide all
services. Although one agency should be responsible for managing cases, multi-
disciplinary working ensures the best use of resources and enables a more
comprehensive view of a family’s situation and what support is needed.
Comprehensive/Integrated Systems Approach
Need: Children should first and foremost be seen as whole human beings and not be
labelled as a certain category. Because children’s problems are interlinked, the
policy approach for children has to be integrated to be effective. The system-
building approach has moved away from categories of problems and towards
preventing and responding to abuse, exploitation, neglect and violence together
(Hong, n.d.). Save the Children (2010, p. 2) notes that the shift towards a focus
on systems by agencies working on child protection has been driven by the fol-
lowing factors:
• Dissatisfaction with the impact of fragmented approaches.

• Concerns about undermining existing traditional or state and community pro-
tection mechanisms.
• A growing understanding of children’s experiences—which often indicate a
range of interconnected protection failures.
Requirements: According to Save the Children (2010), a holistic, systemic
approach to child rights, which emphasises prevention, will achieve the following:
• Convert fragmented programme and policy efforts for children into investment
in a sustainable benefit of child rights.
• Address the full range of child rights in each context, rather than focusing on
one or two ‘fundable’ concerns.
• Make existing children’s organisations and interventions more efficient by
improving coordination, maximising scarce resources and eliminating
duplication.
• Unite the child rights efforts of all actors at the various levels, emphasising their
complementarity, under a common goal and to common standards.
• Link children with a range of services and actors and maximise benefit from
finite resources.
• Focus on dynamic interplay between the components rather than consist simply
of a list of components.
• Place a strong emphasis on prevention and thereby also achieve greater
long-term cost-effectiveness.
• Focus on prevention of and response to violence, abuse, exploitation and
neglect.
• Work for the protection of all children to address underlying vulnerabilities,
rather than targeting individual groups or categories of vulnerable children with
disparate initiatives.
• Recognise children as people and not just categories.
According to the World Vision International (2011), a systems approach:
• Requires more sustainable, comprehensive and long-term responses to child
protection issues.
• Strengthens the critical roles and assets of the key actors responsible for child
protection: government, civil society, parents, caregivers, families and other
community structures—which together provide formal and informal child pro-
tection mechanisms and services.
• Maintains continuity, sequentiality and sustainability.
• Is sufficiently flexible and robust to implement a wide range of interventions
for the benefit of all children in various situations, while simultaneously
addressing, promoting and advocating for the interests of significantly under-
represented, marginalised or vulnerable children in a particular situation or
context.
Activities
Activity 10.6: Small Group Discussion on Rights-Based Approaches of Service

Delivery Systems for Children
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will learn about the
rights approaches for service delivery systems for children.

1. Form five small groups and allocate the following topics among them:
(1) Availability and quality of services
(2) Comprehensive approach
(3) Systemic approach
(4) Community-based approach
(5) Preventative approach
2. Ask them to read and discuss their topic with examples.
3. Ask them to present their discussion to the large group for further inputs.


Summary Chart 10.1 Comparison of needs approach and rights approach
Needs Approach Rights Approach

• Address symptoms • Address root causes
• Short-term perspecƟve • Long term perspecƟve
• Voluntary • Mandatory
• Private charity • Public obligaƟon
• Children are recipients of services • Children are acƟve parƟcipants in
• Fragmented the service delivery
• HolisƟc
Summary Chart 10.2 Child rights and responsibilities
Child Rights Child Responsibilities

1. Child Right to Family Care 1. Child Responsibility for Caring for
Family Members
2. Child Right to Development 2. Child Responsibility for Self-
Development
3. Child Right to Protection 3. Child Responsibility for Self-

Protection
4. Child Right to Participation 4. Child Responsibility for
Participation
Summary Chart 10.3 Child rights to participation
Child Rights to ParƟcipaƟon: Child Rights to ParƟcipaƟon: ImplicaƟons of Child

•ParƟcipaƟon in family •Right to express views Right to ParƟcipaƟon:
•ParƟcipaƟon in child- freely •Children learn to take
headed households •Right to informaƟon responsibiliƟes.
•ParƟcipaƟon of children •Right to be consulted •Children learn
living by themselves on •Right to decision-making democraƟc
the street •Right to freedom of decision-making.
•ParƟcipaƟon of children associaƟon •Children can protect
in insƟtuƟons themselves.
•ParƟcipaƟon in school/
college
•ParƟcipaƟon in community
•ParƟcipaƟon with the state
Summary Chart 10.4 Principles of child rights
Dignity of the
Child
Primary
Accountability Child Rights ConsideraƟon
of the Duty- to the Best
Bearers Principles
Interests of the
Child
Universality
and Non-
DiscriminaƟon
Summary Chart 10.5 Rights-based vision for children
Following aspects comprise the rights-based vision for children’s well-being

• Grow up with dignity in a democratic family and supportive community.
• Achieve maximum development through health, education and play,
recreation, cultural and artistic activities.
• Develop self-awareness, proactive thinking skills, emotional intelligence,
sensitive interpersonal communication skills and collaborative interpersonal
relationship skills.
• Play a decisive and responsible role in their own life and a participatory role
in the family, school, community and with the state, together with the adult
not by themselves.
• Be protected from discrimination, poverty, neglect, parental deprivation,
abuse, commercial exploitation, conflict with law, and association with
armed conflict.
Exercise for Activity 10.3: Balancing Child Rights with Responsibilities

(Taken from UNICEF Youth Advocate, n.d.)
Child Rights Child Responsibilities
1. All children have rights no (a) Children also have the

matter who they are, where responsibility to listen to others
they come from or what they and respect their opinions.
believe.
2. Every child has the right to (b) Children also have the
special help or care if they responsibility to eat maintain
have any kind of disability. personal hygiene, have nutritious
food and lead a healthy lifestyle.
They also have responsibility to
help others be healthy and thrive.
3. Every child has the right to be (c) Children also have the
treated equally and fairly. responsibility to make the most of
their education and respect the
abilities of others.
4. Every child has the right to live (d) Children also have the
a full life and grow up healthy. responsibility to respect the names
and identities of others.
5. Every child has the right to (e) Children also have the
know and grow up with the responsibility to respect other
support of their family. people’s language, culture and
beliefs.
6. Every child has the right to (f) Children also have the
relax, play and meet with other responsibility to help others feel
children, to feel safe and have secure and protected and not bully
their rights respected. or harm others.
7. Every child has the right to (g) Children also have the
think and develop freely and responsibility to respect, support
use the language and customs and care for their family.
of their family.
8. Every child has the right to (h) Children also have the
survive and develop through responsibility to help make sure
access to good health care, people in need also enjoy the
nutritious food and clean water. right to live and be healthy.
9. Every child has the right to feel (i) Children also have the
safe, live in a safe environment responsibility to respect the rights
and be protected from neglect of others, including other children
or abuse. and adults.
10. Every child has the right to an (j) Children also have the
education that respects and responsibility to treat others
develops their personality and equally and help children who
abilities to their full potential. need support.
11. Every child has the right to (k) Children also have the
speak freely about matters responsibility to treat others
that concern them and for their equally, fairly and with respect.
opinions to be listened to.
12. Every child has the right to a (l) Children can choose their own
name and identity (including friends but also have the
religious, language or ethnic responsibility to include all
identity). children and ensure everyone has
the opportunity to participate.
Acknowledgements This module is adapted from the following chapter by the author: Desai, M.
(2013). Chapter 13: Childhood Vulnerability and Rights-Based Policy Approaches for Children. In
The Paradigm of International Social Development: Ideologies, Development Systems and Policy
Approaches. New York: Routledge, Studies in Development and Society Series.
References
Desai, M. (2013). The paradigm of international social development: Ideologies, development
systems and policy approaches. New York: Routledge, Studies in Development and Society
Series.
Downs, S. W., Moore, E., & McFadden, E. J. (2009). Child welfare and family services: Policies
and practice (8th ed.). Boston: Pearson A and B.
cwab/index.htm.
Hong, S. (n.d.). Child protection programme strategy toolkit. Bangkok: UNICEF East Asia and
Pacific Regional Office. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/eapro/Protection_Toolkit_all_
Parts.pdf.
Inter-Agency Working Group on Children’s Participation. (2008). Children as active citizens:
Commitments and obligations for children’s civil rights and civic engagement in East Asia and
the Pacific: A policy and programme guide. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/eapro/
Children_as_Active_Citizens_A4_book.pdf.
James, A., & James, A. (2004). Constructing childhood: Theory, policy and social practice. New
Jones, P., & Welch, S. (2011). Rethinking children’s rights: Attitudes in contemporary society.
London: Bloomsbury.
Lester, S., & Russell, W. (2010). Children’s right to play: An examination of the importance of
play in the lives of children worldwide. The Netherlands: Bernard van Leer Foundation.
Pinheiro, S. (2006). World report on violence against children. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.
org/lac/full_tex(3).pdf.
Save the Children. (2005). Child rights programming: How to apply rights-based approaches to
programming. In A handbook for international save the children alliance members (2nd ed.).
Sweden: Author. Retrieved from http://images.savethechildren.it/f/download/Policies/ch/child-
rights-handbook.pdf.
Save the Children. (2006). Children and young people as citizens: Partners for social change: 2
Learning from experience. Sweden. Retrieved from http://resourcecentre.savethechildren.se/
library/children-and-young-people-citizens-partners-social-change-learning-experience-part-2.
Save the Children. (2010). Strengthening national child protection systems in emergencies through
community-based mechanisms. A discussion paper. Retrieved from http://childprotectionforum.
org/wp/wp-content/uploads/downloads/2012/05/Community-mechanisms-in-emergencies.pdf.
Sen, A. (1999). Development as freedom. New York: Random House.
Terre des Hommes. (2006). Child protection manual for intervention in humanitarian crisis.
Retrieved from http://www.tdh.ch/en/documents/child-protection-manual-for-intervention-in-
humanitarian-crisis.
United Nations Children’s Fund. (2001). Pocket guide for a rights-based approach to
programming for children: Application in South Asia. Kathmandu: Author.
White, B. (2003). A world fit for children? Dies Natalis Address delivered on the occasion of the
51st Anniversary of the Institute of Social Studies, The Hague, The Netherlands. Retrieved
from http://lcms.eur.nl/iss/diesnatalis2003_WhiteOCR.pdf.
World Vision International. (2011). A systems approach to child protection: A world vision
discussion paper. Retrieved from http://ovcsupport.net/files/Systems_Approach_to_Child_
Protection_World_Vision.pdf.
Wyness, M., Harrison, L., & Buchanan, I. (2004). Childhood, politics and ambiguity: Towards an
agenda for children’s political inclusion. Sociology, 38(1), 81–99.
Module 11
Approaches and Skills of Engagement
with Children
• Self-empowerment (Module 2);
• Proactive thinking skills (Module 3);
• Emotional intelligence (Module 4);
• Sensitive interpersonal communication skills (Module 5);
• Collaborative interpersonal relationship skills (Module 6); and
• The ideology of child rights (Module 10).
Introduction to Child Rights-Based Engagement

with Children
Professional Relationship
The professional relationship between a child and a practitioner is different from

other relationships as it is a:
• Purposeful Relationship: Children need to know the exact purpose of meeting
the counsellor. The counsellor should, therefore, know what information the
child has been given before the first session and clarify, affirm or correct per-
ceptions about what will happen;
• Exclusive Relationship: The worker should develop an exclusive relationship
with the child which is not influenced by others, mainly the parents;

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_11
310 11 Approaches and Skills of Engagement with Children
• Safe Relationship: In order to give the child a sense of security and pre-
dictability, structure is important which includes:
– Giving the information about the expected length of each session; and
– Setting behavioural limits to protect the child, the counsellor and property
from damage.
• Authentic Relationship: The child–counsellor relationship should be a genuine
and honest relationship which allows the child to be natural and spontaneous;
• Confidential Relationship: The exclusive relationship has to respect confiden-
tiality. The child should be ensured that the fears, anxieties and negative thoughts
towards parents or others will not be disclosed to them without the child’s per-
mission. The child should have control over factors such as who will tell whom
and when. This will make the child feel safe in making disclosures; and
• Non-intrusive Relationship: Too many questions should not be asked to dis-
close information which is private and scary to share, as it may be intrusive and
may silence the child (adapted from Geldard & Geldard, 2002, pp. 12–16).
Professional Engagement
Engagement is the first stage that focuses on establishing a professional relationship

between the practitioner and the child (adapted from Hull & Kirst-Ashman, 2004).
The main purpose of this stage is to build rapport and trust between the practitioner
and the child.
Introduction in the First Meeting: For building rapport and trust with the child, it
is important to communicate warmth, genuineness and empathy (adapted from Hull
& Kirst-Ashman, 2004). Specifically, greet children in such a way as to encourage
them to talk. While greeting them, it is important to extend the courtesy of asking
the child how he/she prefers to be addressed (Hepworth, Rooney, Rooney,
Strom-Gottfried, & Larson, 2006). In the first meeting with the child, the case
worker may do the following:
• Articulate the nature of the case worker’s relationship with the child with ref-
erence to helping the child;
• Follow the child’s lead in beginning the ‘getting to know you’ process and not
start by asking about his/her problem or other personal questions; and
• Invite the child to select and get engaged with the toy, media, storybook, or game
that he/she finds interesting (adapted from Dishion & Stormshak, 2007, p. 83).
The International Rescue Committee (2012) recommends the following to create
a supportive environment for interviewing a child.
• Obtain permission;
• Explain who you are;
• Maintain equality;
• Ask for permission to speak;
• Explain what will happen;

• Explain the process;
• Talk with the child with trusted adults;
• Do not make promises you cannot keep; and
• Do not force or pressure the child to talk.
Build Confidence and Trust: According to the Interagency Modular Training
Package (2008), building confidence and trust with children in following ways is
the first step of interaction with the children:
• Create a safe environment;
• Do not frighten the child;
• Let the child feel confident before expressing him/herself. Remember that
children need to tell their story in their own way;
• Each child’s experience is unique and different from that of others. Children will
describe their experience according to their character, culture and level of
understanding;
• Do not make assumptions about what a child means;
• Try to remain open to their way of describing what happened, and to find out
what it is that they want to say;
• Try to be at the same level as the child;
• Be honest, do not make false promises and never lie or mislead a child. Tell the
child the truth in an age appropriate way;
• Children have their own way of describing things, and they may use a word that
means something specifically to them. Sometimes children want to please, and
they will give the appearance of understanding, but in fact they might not do so;
• If the child has been trusting and has spoken of many things, it may be the first
time that the child has felt that an adult has listened to them;
• Do create a rapport with the child—be open, relaxed and comforting;
• Do show a measure of accessibility and reliability; and
• Do accept the child the way she or he is.
Ask Questions: Open-ended questions are advantageous because they give the
child greater control over the conversation and more discretion in introducing
significant material. Facilitators may also use closed questions (questions that can
be answered with just ‘yes’ or ‘no’) to obtain greater clarity and focus, to obtain
more definite or detailed information (Kadushin & Kadushin, 1997).
Approaches of Engagement with Children
Following are the main approaches of engagement with children, discussed in this
module:
• Strengths-based and person-centred approaches of engagement with children;
• Culture-sensitive approach of engagement with children;
• Participatory approach of engagement with children; and
• Ethical approach of engagement with children.
Activities
Introductory Activity 11.1: Introduction to the Methodology of Professional

Engagement with Children
requirements of a professional relationship and the approaches of professional
engagement with children.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by professional relationship;
2. Discuss Summary Chart 11.1 on professional relationship; and
3. Discuss Summary Chart 11.2 on approaches of professional engagement with
children.
Activity 11.2: First Encounter with a Child
of the first encounter with the child.

1. Form three small groups and allocate the following life stages and situations
among them:
(1) Early childhood: A three-year-old girl in a crèche, whose mother is late to
pick her up;
(2) Middle Childhood: A nine-year-old boy who is in the first standard in
school as a late entrant; and
(3) Adolescence: A 16-year-old boy who is a mischief-maker in the
neighbourhood.
2. The small groups to read the section on the first encounter and plan role-plays to
demonstrate the skills of the first encounter with the child;
3. The small groups to present the role-plays to the large group and obtain further
inputs;
4. Use the following questions to process this activity:
• What was new that you learnt was useful?
• Which part was difficult?
• Strengths-based and person-centred approaches of engagement with children
• Culture-sensitive approach of engagement with children;
• Participatory approach of engagement with children; and

• Ethical approach of engagement with children.
Strengths-Based and Person-Centred Approaches

of Engagement with Children
Problem-Based Approach
The problem-based approach encourages the following individual rather than

ecological accounts of psychosocial functioning:
• The person is the problem;
• There are fixed, inevitable, critical and universal stages of human development;
• Childhood trauma invariably leads to adult psychopathology; and
• The disease linear module is used with reference to causes and solutions
(Saleeby, 2006).
Strengths-Based Approach
In the strengths-based approach, the social worker builds on the child’s strengths or
capabilities for achieving positive and lasting change instead of trying to eliminate
his/her problems or deficiencies. The strengths-based perspective is an important
counterbalance to the preoccupation with children’s problems, pathology and def-
icits that is so pervasive in the service delivery system and inherent in many of the
practice theories and models used by social workers (adapted from Sheafor &
Horejsi, 2006).
The social worker should help the child identify his/her strengths and build upon
them. Because clients are true experts on their situation, in this perspective the
professional role is mostly that of facilitator or consultant (adapted from Sheafor &
Horejsi, 2006). Sheafor and Horejsi (2006) provide the following guidelines to
maintain a focus on strengths, drawing on suggestions made by Cowger (1994,
cited in Sheafor & Horejsi, 2006):
• Believe the child. Assume that he/she is honest and trustworthy unless it is
proven otherwise;
• Display an interest in strengths. Listen for and call to the child’s attention all
indicators of the child’s competence, skills, resourcefulness, and motivation to
make his/her situation better.
• Assume that the child is an expert on his/her behaviour, life and situation and
knows best what will and will not work in a change effort or treatment plan.
Give primary attention to the child’s own perceptions and understanding of his/
her situation;
• View the assessment and the service planning as joint worker–child activity;
• Assess but do not diagnose. Avoid the use of diagnostic labelling as for it draws
attention away from child’s strengths and places the focus on pathology and
deficits;
• Avoid discussion of blame and what the child or others should or should not
have done previously. Time is better spent on here and now problem-solving;
and
• Assume that within the child’s family, social network and community, there is
an oasis of potential resources, both formal and informal, that can be drawn into
the helping process.
Person-Centred Approach
According to Rogers, the following practitioner attributes can create a

growth-promoting climate in which individuals can move forward and become
what they are capable of becoming:
• Congruence (genuineness);
• Unconditional positive regard (acceptance and caring); and
• Accurate empathic understanding (an ability to deeply grasp the subjective
world of another person) (Corey, 2005).
The person-centred approach aims towards the client achieving a greater degree
of independence and integration. Its focus is on the person and not the person’s
presenting problem. It aims to assist clients in their growth process, so they could
better cope with their current and future problems (Corey, 2005).
Activities
Activity 11.3: Role-Plays on the Strengths-Based and Person-Centred Approaches
of the strengths-based and person-centred approaches with children.

1. Use the same three small groups and same situations:
(1) Early childhood: A three-year-old girl in a crèche, whose mother always
comes the last to pick her up;
(2) Middle childhood: A nine-year-old boy who is in the first standard in school
as a late entrant; and
(3) Adolescence: A 16-year-old boy who is a mischief-maker in the
neighbourhood;
2. Show Summary Chart 11.3 to discuss the strengths-based approach;
3. Show Summary Chart 11.4 to discuss the person-centred approach;
4. Ask the small groups to plan role-plays to demonstrate the skills of the
strengths-based approach and the person-centred approach with the child; and
5. The small groups to present the role-plays to the large group and obtain further
inputs.
• How was the strengths-based approach used?
• What was its effect on the facilitator and the child?
• What are the advantages of the strengths-based approach?
• How was the person-centred approach used?
• What was its effect on the facilitator and the child?
• What are the advantages of the person-centred approach?
Culture-Sensitive Approach of Engagement with Children
Cultural relativity is the practice of evaluating any culture by its own standards, and
trying not to project your value system onto them. There are reasons that groups of
people do what they do, often reasons that make perfectly good sense to them
(Leeder, 2003). The culture-sensitive approach ensures that the worker is attentive
to ethnic, cultural and religious diversity among clients and that the problems and
effects of discrimination and minority status are addressed in practice (Sheafor &
Horejsi 2006). Cultural competence can be achieved in:
• Awareness: recognising one’s own biases and gaining knowledge about
sociopolitical issues affecting those from other cultures;
• Knowledge: culturally factual information about other groups; and
• Skills: action that results from integrating awareness and knowledge (Pederson,
1994, cited in Robbins, Chatterjee, & Canda, 2006).
Mason et al. (1996, cited in Robbins et al., 2006) defined a five-stage model in
which practitioners move from culturally damaging practices to those that respect
and deliver culturally relevant services:
1. Cultural destructiveness: attitude, policies and practices that are harmful to

individuals and their cultures;
2. Cultural incapacity: not harmful but lack of capacity to work with different
cultures;
3. Cultural blindness: failure to acknowledge differences in culture;
4. Cultural pre-competence: acknowledgement of differences in culture and efforts
to improve; and
5. Cultural competence: acceptance and respect of cultural differences and cul-
turally relevant services.
The NASW Code of Ethics (2008) describes cultural competence as an ethical
responsibility to clients as follows:
1. Social workers should understand culture and its function in human behaviour
and society, recognising the strengths that exist in all cultures;
2. Social workers should have a knowledge base of their clients’ cultures and
be able to demonstrate competence in the provision of services that are
sensitive to clients’ cultures and to differences among people and cultural
groups; and
3. Social workers should obtain education about and seek to understand the nature
of social diversity and oppression with respect to race, ethnicity, national origin,
colour, sex, sexual orientation, age, marital status, political belief, religion and
mental or physical disability.
The following strategies for cultural competence are selected from those com-
piled by Hull and Kirst-Ashman (2004):
• Consider clients first as individuals then as members of a multicultural group,
and finally as members of a specific group, to avoid overgeneralising;
• Do not assume that ethnic identity tells you anything about a person’s values or
behaviour. Within-culture differences are substantial, and two clients from the
same culture may have vastly different life experiences;
• Treat ‘facts’ you have learned about cultural values and traits as hypotheses and
subject them to testing with each new client;
• Identify strengths in the client’s cultural orientation that you can build upon;
• Be aware of your own attitudes about cultural pluralism; and
• Demonstrate interest in the client’s traditions and customs.
Following guidelines for multicultural work are selected from Shebib’s
(2003) list:
• Openly acknowledge and discuss cultural differences;
• Avoid stereotyping by exploring individual differences;
• Be alert to how language, including non-verbal variables, can have different
meanings for people; and
• If you are using a translator, look at the client and not the translator.
The World Health Organization, War Trauma Foundation and World Vision
(WHO et al., 2011) recommend preparation for the following questions while
working in different cultures:
Dress:
• Do I need to dress a certain way to be respectful?
Language:
• What is the customary way of greeting people in this culture?
• What language do they speak?
Gender, Age and Power:
• Should women only be approached by women helpers?
• Who may I approach? (In other words, the head of the family or community?)
Touching and Behaviour:
• What are the usual customs around touching people?
• Is it all right to hold someone’s hand or touch their shoulder?
• Are there special things to consider in terms of behaviour around the elderly,
children, women or others?
Beliefs and Religion:
• Who are the different ethnic and religious groups in the village?
• What beliefs or practices are important to these people?
Following are some suggestions about the religious aspects to be sensitive about:
• Be aware of and respect the person’s religious background;
• Listen respectfully, and without judgment, to spiritual beliefs or questions the
person may have;
• Do not impose your beliefs or spiritual or religious interpretations of the crisis,
on the person; and
• Do not agree with or reject a spiritual belief or interpretation of the crisis, even if
the person asks you to do so (WHO et al., 2011).
Activities
Activity 11.4: Self-Reflections on Culture-Sensitivity
self-awareness on cultural sensitivity with others.
Procedure: Ask the participants to write about their own cultural sensitivity in their
diary with reference to their racial/caste/tribal background, mother tongue/regional
background and religion answering the following questions:
1. What is my racial/caste background? What assumptions do others have about

me because of my racial/caste background? What assumptions have I developed
about people with racial/caste background other than mine? What are the bases/
sources for these assumptions? How have these factors influenced my work with
them?
2. What is my mother tongue/regional background? What assumptions do others
have about me because of my mother tongue/regional background? What
assumptions have I developed about people with mother tongue/regional
background other than mine? What are the bases/sources for these assumptions?
How have these factors influenced my work with them?
3. What is my religion? What assumptions do others have about me because of
your religion? What assumptions have I developed about people with religion
other than mine? What are the bases/sources for these assumptions? How have
these factors influenced my work with them?
4. Discuss Summary Chart 11.5 on the culture-sensitive approach to be used with
children.
Participatory Approach of Engagement with Children
Children’s Agency
Boyden and Levison (2000) argued that children are not merely beneficiaries or
passive recipients of adult intervention, or a future societal asset, but social agents
in their own right. Supporting children’s best interests requires the perspective that
they have valid insights into their well-being, valid solutions to their problems and a
valid role in implementing those solutions. Children’s agency is a key contributor to
their development, and, hence, children should play a part in defining what is in
their own best interests. For adults to better understand children’s problems and
needs, they require children to explain and interpret their childhoods; only children
can provide real insight into their feelings and experiences. Even in adversity,
children are active survivors. Because children’s responses to adversity are neither
direct nor predictable, but subtle and complex, children in difficult situations should
not be conceptualised merely as susceptible victims. Representing children as
passive victims rather than active survivors undermines the possibility of them
acting on their situation and thereby further threatens their self-esteem and
self-efficacy. The view of children as resourceful suggests that children may be
better served by assuming an active role in their own protection and at least some
degree of responsibility for their own safety, insofar as this is possible (Boyden &
Levison, 2000).
Benefits of Child Participation
According to Council of Europe (2004), following are the benefits of child par-
ticipation for children:
• They are taken seriously by adults. Ideally, they become acquainted with a
culture of democratic decision-making, in which children and adults are equals;
• They participate actively in areas of life which are normally off-limits to chil-
dren, such as decision-making on a local policy level. This gives children a
sense of importance and builds up their self-confidence;
• Participating in a decision-making culture can increase respect for property and
goods held in common. For example, children report that they handle new
equipment and installations more carefully if they have participated in the
decision-making process on what equipment should be bought and how it
should be installed;
• They learn to work as part of a team, which has a positive effect on relationships
between children. In mixed groups, gender equality is reinforced;
• They learn that, in well-implemented projects, participation can be fun, lively
and enjoyable; and
• They develop important personal and social skills, such as methods of conflict
resolution, decision-making and communication. In some projects, they learn to
speak in public in front of adults, and to explain why they hold a certain opinion
or why they reject or dislike something.
Child Participatory Approach
A rights-based approach to programming requires participation of stakeholders and

empowerment of the people concerned throughout the programming cycle. In this
approach, efforts to achieve outcomes should be balanced by attention to partici-
patory processes (EU Canada Project, 2003). According to Hart (1997), partici-
patory approaches can range from adult-initiated, shared decisions with children to
child-initiated, shared decisions with adults. Only through direct participation can
children develop a genuine appreciation of a sense of their own competence and
responsibility to participate.
According to the Council of Europe (2004), participation with children can be
managed adequately only if the whole process is designed in a child-friendly way,
with due attention to the age of the children. The role of the involved adults is to
create a child-friendly practice, by playing a supportive and not an intervening role.
It is the children who are the real experts. They make the following suggestions to
make the participatory process child-friendly:
• Involve children as early as possible ideally, during the preparation phase—as this
strengthens their motivation and identification with the programme objectives;
• Treat children with the same respect as adults and take their views and interests
seriously. This will help them feel important;
• Try to guarantee easy access to information on the project and its outcomes for
the children involved, as well as outsiders;
• Keep the organisational structures and procedures transparent, including
schedules, and session rules;
• Create an open, tolerant and nurturing environment that encourages the children
to say what they think;
• Use the type of language that children can understand, and listen carefully to
what they have to say;
• All written material should take into account the ages of the children;
• Use child-friendly settings, methods and techniques, such as amusing games,
varied materials, colourful photographs, paintings and symbols, such as animals,
flowers and smiling faces;
• Be honest and explain to children, giving concrete reasons, when you think that
their ideas are not realistic;
• Be careful to not overstrain children, for example, involving them in a long
conversation;
• Take into account that children and adults have different time horizons. It is
motivating for children to achieve at least some results promptly. Visibility of
results is a main factor of success in children’s views;
• Be self-critical and flexible. If some methods, tools or approaches turn out to be
not child-friendly enough, you need to adapt your original ideas to the children’s
needs and requirements;
• Establish ground rules with all the children at the beginning; and
• Participation should be voluntary, and children should be allowed to leave at
any stage.
Save the Children (2006) recommends:
• Advocate for children and young people’s active participation in families,
schools, communities, local governance, policies and programmes in all deci-
sions that affect them;
• Develop and apply minimum quality standards on children’s participation and
partnerships with adults; and
• Build upon early child development work and adopt a life cycle approach
enabling participation of girls and boys at different ages and abilities.
Monitoring and Evaluation of Child Participation
Children’s participation can be monitored and evaluated based on:

1. Behavioural or attitudinal outcomes: outcomes associated with children’s
participation that have influenced those directly or indirectly involved in or
affected by participation initiatives—for example, children themselves, their
parents or caregivers, staff of the supporting organisation or members of the
wider community; and
2. Wider external outcomes: outcomes which indicate that a concrete change has
happened in the community, or at local or national level, as a consequence of the
children’s participation (Save the Children, 2014).
Activities
Activity 11.5: Exercise on My Attitude to Children’s Participation
awareness on their attitude to child participation.

1. Ask the participants what they mean by child participation and child partici-
pation rights;
2. Explain briefly that child participation rights comprise of child right to get and
share information, express views, be heard and be given importance and freedom;
3. Ask them to go through the Exercise on My Attitude to Children’s Participation
(given at the end of the module) and state if they agree or disagree with the
statements;
4. Discuss each statement and the responses from the participants;
5. Use the following questions for this activity:
• How does our experience of adultism make us adultist when we become
adults?
• Is age linked to maturity?
• Are responsibilities more important than rights?
• Are rights more important than responsibilities?
• Do children have responsibilities towards their own and others’ rights?
• Should children keep away from interest in the matters of the family,
community and society at large?
6. Discuss Summary Chart 11.6 on the need to move from the adultist approach
with children to the participatory approach with children.
Ethical Approach of Engagement with Children
Social work ethical principles of self-determination, informed consent, avoid con-

flict of interest/professional boundaries and privacy and confidentiality are dis-
cussed in this section with reference to children.
Prevent Conflict of Interest/Professional Boundaries
According to Section 1.06 of the NASW (2008) Code of Ethics:

(a) Social workers should be alert to and avoid conflicts of interest that interfere
with the exercise of professional discretion and impartial judgment. In some
cases, protecting clients’ interests may require termination of the professional
relationship with proper referral of the client;
(b) Social workers should not take unfair advantage of any professional rela-
tionship or exploit others to further their personal, religious, political or
business interests; and
(c) Social workers should not engage in dual or multiple relationships with clients
or former clients in which there is a risk of exploitation or potential harm to the
client. In instances when dual or multiple relationships are unavoidable, social
workers should take steps to protect clients and are responsible for setting
clear, appropriate and culturally sensitive boundaries.
According to Section 1.09 of the NASW (2008) Code of Ethics, social workers
should under no circumstances engage in sexual activities or sexual contact with
current clients, whether such contact is consensual or forced.
Self-Determination
According to Section 1.02 of the Code of Ethics of the US National Association of

Social Workers (NASW, 2008), ‘Social workers respect and promote the right of
clients to self-determination and assist clients in their efforts to identify and clarify
their goals. Social workers may limit clients’ right to self-determination when, in the
social workers’ professional judgment, clients’ actions or potential actions pose a
serious, foreseeable, and imminent risk to themselves or others’. Self-determination
embodies the belief that depending on their age, children have the capacity to
develop solutions to their difficulties, as well as the right and capacity to exercise free
choice responsibly. Such a positive perspective engenders hope and courage on the
child’s part and nurtures self-esteem. These factors, in turn, enhance the child’s
motivation, which is indispensable to achieving a successful outcome. If case
workers provide solutions and advices, they foster dependency and demean children
by failing to analyse and affirm their strengths (Hepworth et al., 2006).
Privacy and Confidentiality
Case workers are expected to respect clients’ privacy, to gather information only for
the purpose of providing effective services, and to disclose information only with
client’s consent. There are limits to this principle when seeking supervision or
consultation, when clients waive confidentiality, when the client presents danger to
self or others, for reporting suspicion of abuse and when presented with subpoena
or court order (Hepworth et al., 2006). The privacy and confidentiality of the child
need to be ensured in the following matters:
(1) Access to case records or other personal records;
(2) Sharing personal background;
(3) Interviews, photographs or ‘observation’ of activities by press persons or others;
(4) Unrequested entry into children’s ‘private space’ and access to their personal
possessions; and
(5) Meetings and conversations with parents and family (Frederick, 2005).
To maintain confidentiality, case files must be kept in a locked and secure location
and access to them should be restricted only to relevant, authorised programme staff.
Those staffs who are authorised to access these files must not discuss any detail of any
registered child with any non-authorised person (Save the Children, 2011).
According to the NASW (2008) Code of Ethics:
(a) Social workers should respect clients’ right to privacy. Social workers should
not solicit private information from clients unless it is essential to providing
services or conducting social work evaluation or research. Once private
information is shared, standards of confidentiality apply;
(b) Social workers may disclose confidential information when appropriate with
valid consent from a client or a person legally authorised to consent on behalf
of a client;
(c) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in
the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons.
The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential
does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable
and imminent harm to a client or other identifiable person; and
(d) Social workers should inform clients, to the extent possible, about the disclo-
sure of confidential information and the potential consequences, when feasible
before the disclosure is made. This applies whether social workers disclose
confidential information on the basis of a legal requirement or client consent
(adapted from According to Section 1.07 of the NASW, (2008)).
Informed Consent
According to Section 1.03 of the NASW (2008) Code of Ethics, social workers
should provide services to clients only in the context of a professional relationship
based, when appropriate, on valid informed consent. Social workers should use
clear and understandable language to inform clients of the purpose of the services,
risks related to the services, limits to services because of the requirements of a
third-party payer, relevant costs, reasonable alternatives, clients’ right to refuse or
withdraw consent and the time frame covered by the consent. Social workers should
provide clients with an opportunity to ask questions. In instances when clients lack
the capacity to provide informed consent, social workers should protect clients’
interests by seeking permission from an appropriate third party, informing clients
consistent with the clients’ level of understanding. In such instances, social workers
should seek to ensure that the third party acts in a manner consistent with clients’
wishes and interests. Social workers should take reasonable steps to enhance such
clients’ ability to give informed consent. They should obtain clients’ informed
consent before audiotaping or videotaping clients or permitting observation of
services to clients by a third party.
For younger children who are by nature or law too young to give informed
consent, but old enough to understand and agree to participate in services, the child’s
‘informed assent’ is sought. Even for very young children, efforts should be made to
explain in language appropriate to their age, what information is being sought, what
it will be used for and how it will be shared. In some situations, informed consent
may not be possible or may be refused, and yet intervention may still be necessary to
protect the child. For example, if a 12-year-old girl is being sexually abused by her
father, she may feel loyalty to him and her family and not want to take any action.
That does not mean that agencies can ignore what is happening. Where consent is not
given, and where the agencies involved have a legal mandate to take actions to
protect a child, the reasons for this should be explained and the participation of
children and non-offending family members continually encouraged (Global
Protection Cluster, European Commission Humanitarian Aid & USAID, 2014).
Activities
Activity 11.6: Small Group Discussion on Ethical Principles
ethical principles of child-centred work.

1. Show Summary Chart 11.7 to introduce the ethical principles of engagement;
2. Form four small groups and allocate the ethical principles for reading the rel-
evant notes and conduct discussion with examples; and
3. Ask the small groups to make a presentation to the large group for further inputs.
Activity 11.7: Case Study Discussion on Ethical Principles and Dilemmas
Learner Outcome: At the end of this activity, the participants will learn to apply
the ethical principles to different situations of children.

1. Form five small groups to discuss the ethical dilemmas in the following case
studies.
(1) An NGO uses a photograph of a five-year-old girl child, or a poor family as
the cover photographs of its annual reports;
(2) A case worker of a nine-year-old boy living in an institution that takes
children of single parents gives his widowed mother a job to do household
work in her own house;
(3) A 14-year-old boy who is tourist guide on a hill station does not want to go
to school as he said that after school the job he will get in his town is of a
tourist guide so why go to school;
(4) A 16-year-old girl, who talked to a Childline worker on the phone that she
wants to commit suicide, insists on only talking and not wanting to accept
any referral for help; and
(5) A 15-year-old adopted boy wants to know who his biological parents were.
2. Ask the small groups to present the plans to the large group and conduct
discussion.
1. What ethical principles are causing a dilemma in this case? Why?
2. How would you resolve the dilemma? Why?

and ask the participants if they think they have achieved the objective; and

Summary Chart 11.1 Professional relationship

(Adapted from Geldard and Geldard, 2002, pp. 12–16)
Purposeful RelaƟonship
Exclusive RelaƟonship
Safe RelaƟonship
AuthenƟc RelaƟonship
ConfidenƟal RelaƟonship
Non-intrusive RelaƟonship
Summary Chart 11.2 Approaches of professional engagement with children
Strengths-based
Approach
Ethical Approach Person-Centred

Approach
ParƟcipatory Culture-SensiƟve
Approach Approach
Summary Chart 11.3 Strengths-based approach

(Adapted from Sheafor and Horejsi, 2006)
Avoid discussion of blame and the use of labelling
Help the child iden fy his/her strengths
Build upon the child’s strengths to make his/her

situa on be er
Focus on here and now problem-solving
Summary Chart 11.4 Person-centred approach

(Adapted from Thompson and Henderson, 2007)
The Person-Centred The Person-Centred Practitioners Use

Practitioners Refrain from
• Giving advice or solutions • Active listening
• Diagnosis • Empathic reflection of thoughts and
feelings
• Interpreting • Clarification
• Moralising • Summarisation
• Making judgements • Confrontation of contradictions
• General or open leads that help
child self-exploration
• Unconditional positive regard
Summary Chart 11.5 Culture-sensitive approach
Be aware of our cultural biases
Be aware that even within-cultures, differences

are substan al
Consider children first as individuals then as

members of a mul cultural group
Treat facts learned about cultural values and

traits as hypotheses
Iden fy strengths in the child’s cultural

orienta on that we can build upon
Demonstrate interest in the child’s tradi ons

and customs
Summary Chart 11.6 Adultist versus participatory approach with children
Adultist Approach Participatory Approach

Adultist Assumptions about Assumptions about Children in
Children Participatory Approach
• Adults’ opinions, interests and • Adults and children are equal.
actions, are superior to children’s
opinions, interests and actions.
• Focus is on vulnerability of • Focus is on strengths of children.
children, ignoring their strengths.
• Children are only beneficiaries or • Children’s agency is a key
passive recipients of adult contributor to their development.
intervention.
• Children are a future societal asset. • Children are social agents in their
own right.
• Children lack the competence or • Children have valid insights into
experience to take decisions about their awell-being, valid solutions to
their life. their problems and a valid role in
implementing those solutions.
• Only adults know what is in • Children should play a part in
children’s best interest. defining what is in their own best
interests.
Adultist Child Rights Approach Participatory Child Rights Approach
• Children should have only rights to • Children have rights to express
development and protection and views, being heard and being given
not to participation/responsibilities. due weight.
• Children have rights to seek,
receive and impart information.
• Children have rights to freedom of
thought, conscience and religion.
• Children have rights and
responsibilities.
Outcome of Adultist Approach Outcome of Participatory Approach
• Children develop lack of confidence • Children build self-esteem, self-
and guilt. confidence and decision-making
skills.
• Children avoid adults or argue and • Children develop interpersonal
counterattack them. skills of communication and
conflict resolution.
• Child protection without participation • Children take part in family and
leads to exclusion of children. community life.
• Children become vulnerable to adult • Children can play an active role in
abuse and exploitation. their own protection.
Summary Chart 11.7 Ethical principles of engagement
Self-
Determina on
Privacy Ethical Informed

Confiden ality Principles Consent
Avoid
Conflict
of Interest
Exercise for Activity 11.5: My Attitude to Children’s Participation

No. Attitude to Child Participation Agree-1
Disagree-2
Not sure-3
1. Young children lack the competence or experience to
take decisions about their life.
2. Children should obey adults for their own good.
3. Children must carry out responsibilities before they can

be granted rights.
4. Children should have only rights and no responsibilities.
5. Children’s participation is not part of our traditional

culture, so not important.
6. Giving children participation rights takes away their
childhood.
7. Children who are given participation rights do not
respect adults.
Desai M. (2010). Chapter 3: Conceptual Framework for Rights-based Preventative Approach for
Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. In A Rights-Based Preventative Approach for
Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg: Springer, Series on Children’s Well-Being:
Indicators and Research.
References
An Interagency Modular Training Package. (2008). Introduction to child protection in

emergencies. Author.
Corey, G. (2005). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (8th ed.). Australia:
Thomson Brooks Cole.
Council of Europe. (2004). Children, participation, projects—How to make it work! Germany:
Author. Retrieved from http://www.bernardvanleer.org/files/crc/3.A.5%20Council_of_
Europe.pdf.
Dishion, T. J., & Stormshak, E. A. (2007). Intervening in children’s lives: An ecological,
family-centered approach to mental health care. Washington, DC: American Psychological
Association.
cwab/index.htm.
Frederick, J. (2005). Guidelines for the operation of care facilities for victims of trafficking and
violence against women and girls: Rationale, basic procedures and requirements for capacity
building. Kathmandu: Planète Enfants. Retrieved from http://www.childtrafficking.com/Docs/
planete_enfants_2005_guidelines_for_the_operation_of_care_facilities_20060223.pdf.
Geldard, K., & Geldard, D. (2002). Counselling children: A practical introduction. London: Sage
Publications.
Global Protection Cluster, European Commission Humanitarian Aid & USAID. (2014). Inter
agency guidelines for case management and child protection: The role of case management in
the protection of children: A guide for policy & programme managers and caseworkers.
Hart, R. A. (1997). Children’s participation: The theory and practice of involving young children
in community development and environmental care. London: UNICEF & Earthscan.
Education.
Hull, G. H., & Kirst-Ashman, K. K. (2004). The generalist model of human service practice.
Singapore: Thomson.
Leeder, E. J. (2003). The family in global perspective: A gendered journey. London: Sage
Publications.
National Association of Social Workers. (2008). Code of ethics of the National Association of
Social Workers. Retrieved from http://www.socialworkers.org/pubs/code/code.asp.
Robbins, S. P., Chatterjee, P., & Canda, E. R. (2006). Contemporary human behavior theory: A
critical perspective for social work (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson Allyn & Bacon.
Saleeby, D. (2006). Introduction: Power in the people. In D. Saleeby (Ed.), The strengths
perspective in social work practice (4th ed., pp. 1–24). Boston: Pearson.
Save the Children. (2006). Children and young people as citizens: Partners for social change: 2
learning from experience. Sweden: Author. Retrieved from http://resourcecentre.
savethechildren.se/library/children-and-young-people-citizens-partners-social-change-learning-
experience-part-2.
Save the Children. (2011). Case management practice within save the children child protection
programmes. London: Author. Retrieved fromhttp://www.savethechildren.org.uk/sites/default/
files/docs/Case-Management-Practice-Within-Save-the-Children-Child-Protection-
Programmes.pdf.
Save the Children. (2014). A toolkit for monitoring and evaluating children’s participation: A
10-step guide to monitoring and evaluating children’s participation. London. Retrieved from
http://www.unicef.org/adolescence/files/ME_toolkit_booklet_4-2014.pdf.
Sheafor, B. W., & Horejsi, C. R. (2006). Techniques and guidelines for social work practice (7th
ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Thompson, C. L., & Henderson, D. A. (2007). Counseling children (7th ed.). Australia: Thomson
Brooks/Cole.
World Health Organization, Wartrauma Foundation & World Vision. (2011). Psychological first
aid: Guide for field workers. Retrieved from http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2011/
9789241548205_eng.pdf.
Module 12
Parenting Education
• Self-empowerment (Module 2),
• Proactive Thinking Skills (Module 3),
• Emotional Intelligence (Module 4),
• Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills (Module 5),
• Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills (Module 6),
• Psychosocial Theories of Child Development (Module 7),
• Ecological Theories of Family and Childhood Diversity (Module 8),
• Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood (Module 9),
• The Ideology of Child Rights (Module 10) and
• Approaches and Skills of Engagement with Children (Module 11).
Introduction to Child Rights-Based Parenting Education
Parents as Primary Duty-Bearer for Child Rights
Parents are the primary socialising agents in a child’s early life, and socialisation is
the principal means for shaping the attitudes and behaviours acquired early in life
that persist throughout adulthood (Zimmerman, 2001). The UNCRC (1989) iden-
tifies parents as the primary duty-bearers of child rights:
Article 3(2): States Parties undertake to ensure the child such protection and care as
is necessary for his or her well-being, taking into account the rights and duties of his

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9_12
334 12 Parenting Education
or her parents, legal guardians or other individuals legally responsible for him or
her, and, to this end, shall take all appropriate legislative and administrative
measures.
Article 5: States Parties shall respect the responsibilities, rights and duties of
parents or, where applicable, the members of the extended family or community as
provided for by local custom, legal guardians or other persons legally responsible
for the child, to provide, in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the
child, appropriate direction and guidance in the exercise by the child of the rights
recognised in the present convention.
Article 14(2): States Parties shall respect the rights and duties of the parents and,
when applicable, legal guardians, to provide direction to the child in the exercise
of his or her right in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the
child.
Article 18(1): States Parties shall use their best efforts to ensure recognition of the
principle that both parents have common responsibilities for the upbringing and
development of the child. Parents or, as the case may be, legal guardians have the
primary responsibility for the upbringing and development of the child. The best
interests of the child will be their basic concern.
Parenting Education
After years of doing therapeutic work with parents, Ginott (cited by Duncan &
Goddard, 2005) noted that most parents need parenting education rather than
therapy as they are only ill-informed.
Aim: Parenting education aims to provide appropriate guidance for their role as the
primary duty-bearer of the rights of the child.
Learner Objectives: The learner objectives of parenting education are for
parents to:
1. Understand their role as the main primary duty-bearers of child rights,
2. Develop their life skills,
3. Develop their marital relationship skills,
4. Develop awareness of adultism and implications,
5. Understand the ideology of child rights and responsibilities,
6. Develop parenting skills in general and
7. Understand children’s age-group-based parenting.
Content: To meet the above objectives, the content of parenting education is
recommended in the following areas:
• Life skill development of the parents,
• Marital relationship skills,
• Awareness of adultism and implications,

• Ideology of child rights and responsibilities,
• General parenting skills,
– Assertive parenting style,
– Appreciation for child’s play,
– Assertive communication with the child,
– Developing child’s life skills,
– Positive disciplining of the child and
• Children’s age-group-based parenting.
These topics may be planned in the following ways:
Life Skill Development of the Parents: Conduct the following modules on life
skill development for parents from Sourcebook-I:
• Self-Empowerment,
• Proactive Thinking Skills,
• Emotional Intelligence,
• Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills and
• Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills.
Marital Relationship Skills: This module discusses concepts and theories of and
activities for marital relationship skills.
Awareness of Adultism and Implications: Conduct the activity on Exercise on

My Childhood Experience of Adultism from Module 4 of this Sourcebook with
parents.
Ideology of Child Rights and Responsibilities: Conduct the following activities

from Module 5 of this Sourcebook with parents:
• Small Group Discussion on Ideology of Child Rights,
• Artwork on Categories of Child Rights,
• Exercise on Balancing Child Rights with Responsibilities and
• Role-Plays on Principles of Child Rights.
General Parenting Skills: This module discusses concepts and theories of and
activities for marital relationship skills and general parenting skills.
Children’s Age-Group-Based Parenting: Conduct the following activities from

Module 2 of this Sourcebook with parents:
• Small Group Discussion on Development in Early and Middle Childhood and
• Small Group Discussion on Development in Adolescence.
Suggested Workshop Plans for Parenting Education

Sessions of 3 Modules for Parents of 10-14 Years Age Group
Hours Each
01 Introduction to Parenting
05 Life Skills Development
02 Understanding Children in Middle Childhood and their Problems
01 Engagement with Children
01 Supporting Children’s Associations
20 Child Rights Education
30 Total
Sessions of Same Modules with Advanced Activities for Parents of 15-18
2/3 Hours Years Age Group
Each
05 Life Skills Development
02 Understanding Children in Adolescence and their Problems
01 Engagement with Children
01 Supporting Children’s Associations
20 Child Rights Education
29 Total
Steps: Parent education should ideally be conducted for both mothers and fathers
and so best conducted as evening or weekend sessions. Ginnot (cited in Duncan &
Goddard, 2005) suggested four steps in the process of supporting parents: recita-
tion, sensitisation, learning of concepts, and teaching and practice of better skills:
1. Recitation: In this stage, parents are encouraged to talk about their challenging
experiences as parents. This allows them to discover that all parents have
problems. It also allows the parenting educator to model attention, under-
standing and acceptance. Many parents have never had someone sensitively
listen to them before. It is important for them to feel heard and understood.
2. Sensitisation: After parents begin to feel accepted, valued and safe, the educator
turns their attention to understanding their children’s feelings.
3. Learning of Concepts: Parents can learn principles that will help them be more
effective and apply them to situations in their homes.
4. Teaching and Practice of Better Skills: Parents learn how to use their new
skills and get practice in applying the principles.
Activities
Introductory Activity 12.1: Parents as Primary Duty-Bearer for Child Rights
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will learn their role as
the primary duty-bearer for child rights and need for parenting education.

1. Ask the parents what they think is their role as parents.
2. Show the Summary Chart 12.1 and discuss parents’ role as the primary
duty-bearer for child rights.
3. Ask the parents what they think is the need for parenting education.
4. Show the Summary Chart 12.2 and discuss the objectives of parenting
education.
• Marital Relationship Skills
• Parenting Skills
Marital Relationship Skills
The quality of the marital relationship of parents is an important determinant of

parenting skills, especially for the parenting partnership.
Concept of Marriage
A marriage is a legally recognised union between two people, generally a man and a
woman, in which they are united sexually, cooperate economically and may give
birth to, or adopt and rear children (Strong et al., 2008, p. 8). Strong et al. (2008,
p. 9) observe that the following factors are common in marriages across cultures:
• It establishes rights and obligations connected to gender, sexuality, relationship
with kin and in-laws and legitimacy of children.
• It allows the orderly transfer of wealth and property from one generation to the
next.
Marital Relationship Skills
A married couple needs to develop:

• An identity as a married couple which defines boundaries with reference to
regulating distances with others outside the marriage;
• Interdependence, retaining individual-level identity, and structure and flexibility
as a couple;
• Egalitarian and strengths-based perception of each other;
• Acceptance and respect for and celebrating differences with one another;
• Empathy and unconditional love for each other;
• Assertive, open, direct and clear communication with each other;
• Sensitive listening to each other;
• Giving positive feedback to each other;

• Requesting behaviour change to each other;
• Satisfactory sexual relationship;
• Joint activities;
• Win-win as the goal in the relationships;
• Collaborative conflict management with each other; and
• Partnership in parenting.
Darnell (2001) recommends being non-judgemental, putting others first and
express appreciation, as necessary for learning to love the partner:
Being Non-Judgemental: Being judgemental includes our notions of good and

bad, right and wrong, should and should not, which can generate considerable
negative feeling and assumptions about our significant others. It can interfere with
true acceptance of the other person and even of our own feelings. This does not
mean that we stop discriminating whether we like or dislike what they are doing. It
also does not mean becoming passive and accommodating to whatever goes on. In
fact, by being non-judgemental, we feel less victimised by any aversive behaviour
on their part and feel free to be more loving and more proactive when we disagree
with what they are doing.
Putting Others First: We need to enjoy giving in a relationship, putting the other’s
needs first. However, we should not overaccommodate or overfunction simply out
of habit or fear of disapproval or rejection.
Express Appreciation: Sometimes we assume that our loved ones know how we
appreciate them. Sometimes we allow our frustrations to interfere with expressing
our appreciation. We must let the significant other know how we appreciate them.
Even if the desired outcomes do not occur, we need to acknowledge their good
intentions and efforts.
Gottman (cited by Ford, 2006) recommends the following seven principles for
making a marriage work:
1. Enhance your love maps by continually updating your knowledge about your
partner.
2. Nurture your fondness and admiration for each other.
3. Turn towards each other instead of away by staying connected.
4. Let your partner influence you.
5. Solve your solvable problems.
6. Overcome gridlock by moving to discussion.
7. Create shared meaning.
Fisher (cited by Ford, 2006) offers the following suggestions for making mar-
riages last:
• Keep infatuation alive by scheduling time together and apart.
• Approach your marriage as you would a friendship.
• Allow for the differences between men and women.

• Do not try to force your partner to change.
• Communicate by sharing thoughts and feelings.
• Be faithful.
Activities
Activity 12.2: What is Marriage?
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will learn to compare
their own perception of marriage with their spouses’ perception.

1. Ask the parents to respond to the following open-ended question on a sheet of
paper:
Marriage means………………………………………
2. Ask the spouses to exchange these sheets to understand what the spouse thinks
of marriage.
• How similar was your response to that of your spouse’s? Why?
• How different was your response to that of your spouse’s? Why?
• Is the difference a problem or an advantage?
Activity 12.3: Marriage Quiz
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will learn to develop
awareness on what marriage is or is not.

1. Circulate the following Marriage Quiz, given at the end of the module, to each
member of the group and ask them to respond to it.
2. Ask the spouses to exchange their responses to understand what the spouse
thinks of marriage.
Questions for Discussion: Take each item of the quiz and ask the following
question to discuss:
• How realistic is this statement? Why?

Activity 12.4: Quiz on Gender Roles in Marriage
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will learn to explore the
stereotyped versus the egalitarian gender roles in marriage.

1. Circulate the Quiz on Gender Roles in Marriage, given at the end of the module
to each member of the group and ask them to respond to it:
2. Ask the spouses to exchange their responses to understand what the spouse
thinks of marriage.
Questions for Discussion: Take each item of the quiz and ask the following
question to discuss:
• Is this a stereotyped or egalitarian statement?
• What are the reasons for you agreeing to it?
• What are the consequences?
The following activities can be conducted on the following topics adapting

activities from the module on Collaborative Interpersonal Relationships:
• Assessment of Interdependence and Adaptability in Marriage,
• Reflections on Recognition of Strengths in Spouse’s Faults,
• Passive, Aggressive and Assertive Communication in Marriage,
• Role-Plays on Open Communication in Marriage,
• Sensitive Listening Skills in Marriage,
• Giving and Receiving Negative Feedback in Marriage and
• Giving and Receiving Positive Feedback in Marriage.
Parenting Skills
Self-Identity as Parents
Anderson and Sabatelli (2007, p. 199) note that the beginning of parenthood, rather
than marriage, is the most accurate marker event for achievement of adult status in
our society. Marriages can end but parenthood is lifelong. When a couple moves
from just a couple to a couple rearing children, the family moves from an
adult-focused to a child-focused system. This change has implications for changing
self-identity for parents from a spouse to a parent of young dependent children to
parents of children growing towards independence. Generally, parents make these
shifts depending on their observation and experience of their own parents.
With the birth of the first child, parents have to make the following changes:
(1) Make readjustments in the conjugal sub-system to:
(2) Make space for a new parenting subsystem with their children,
(3) Make adjustments between work and family life and
(4) Make readjustments in their filial system to make space for their parents’
grandparental subsystem.
Collins, Jordan, and Coleman (2007) note that parents need to understand the
changes needed in parental life style with change in the child’s developmental
stage. When the children move to the stage of adolescence, parents have to make
the following changes:
(1) Make readjustments in their parenting subsystem to allow the adolescent
children for more independence,
(2) Refocus on their conjugal subsystem and career and
(3) Make readjustments in their filial system accommodating for caregiving of and
losing ageing parents.
Bonding Between Parents and Children
Children’s earliest interactions occur within the family and can be positive or
negative. For this reason, factors that affect early development in the family are
probably the most crucial. Children are more likely to experience risk when there is:
• Lack of mutual attachment and nurturing by parents or caregivers;
• Ineffective parenting;
• A chaotic home environment;
• Lack of a significant relationship with a caring adult; and
• A caregiver who abuses substances, suffers from mental illness or engages in
criminal behaviour (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2003).
On the other hand, families can serve a protective function when there is:
• A strong bond between children and their families;
• Parental involvement in a child’s life;
• Supportive parenting that meets financial, emotional, cognitive and social needs;
and
• Clear limits and consistent enforcement of discipline (National Institute on Drug
Abuse, 2003).
Assertive Parenting Style
Parenting styles can be classified into passive, aggressive and assertive where
assertive parents are the effective parents.
• Aggressive parents keep their children in control and end up with children who
are either frightened and intimidated or rebellious and defiant.
• Passive parents allow their children to control them, devalue themselves and
then lose patience with them.
• Assertive parents are clear, firm, determined and fairly confident, and relaxed
(Biddulph & Biddulph, 2007).
For assertive parenting style, parents need to develop:
• Self-identity and self-esteem as parents;
• Assertiveness as parents;
• Proactive, rational, realistic, flexible, creative, self-responsible and positive
thinking skills as parents; and
• Emotional intelligence as parents.
For assertive parenting style, parents need to develop:
• Egalitarian and strengths-based perception of their child,
• Sensitivity and empathy for their child,
• Unconditional love for their child,
• Sensitive communication with the child,
• Appreciation for child’s play,
• Skills to promote the child’s life skills,
• Positive disciplining of the child’s behaviour and
• Collaborative conflict management with the child.
Sensitive Communication with the Child
Adultist Communication: According to Gordon (2000), parents tend to use the

following adultist verbal messages to children when they come to them with
feelings or problems:
• Judging, criticising, disagreeing, blaming;
• Ordering, directing, commanding;
• Warning, admonishing, threatening;
• Exhorting, moralising, preaching;
• Advising, giving solutions;
• Lecturing, teaching, giving logical arguments;
• Name-calling, ridiculing, shaming;
• Interpreting, analysing, diagnosing;
• Withdrawing, distracting, humouring, diverting; and
• Questioning, interrogating.
These adultist responses make the child ‘hear’ the following about his or her
thought processes:
• You do not take me seriously.
• You do not think my judgement is legitimate.
• You do not trust me to work out this problem myself.

• You think I am doing something bad or wrong (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
These adultist responses make the child ‘hear’ the following about his or her
feelings:
• You do not care about how I feel.
• You do not think my feelings are important.
• You do not accept my feeling the way I do (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Children’s reactions to these adultist messages therefore are:
• They stop talking.
• They become defensive.
• They argue/counter-attack.
• They feel inferior/guilty (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Positive Communication: Parents need to use the following skills:
• Assertive, open, direct and clear communication with their children.
• Sensitive listening to their children.
• Giving positive feedback to their children.
• Giving negative feedback to their children.
Listening to children includes:
• Listening to the child’s stories that include experiences, behaviour and feelings,
emotions and moods.
• Listening to child’s point of view.
• Listening to child’s decisions.
• Listening to child’s intentions or proposals.
• ‘Hearing’ opportunities and resources (Egan, 2002).
When children talk, parents need to listen to them actively and ask questions in
order to understand their thoughts and feelings and give feedback that conveys
acceptance and respect. This approach conveys the following to the child:
• Your ideas are worthy of being listened to.
• I want to hear your point of view.
• I want to know you better.
• You have a right to express the way you feel (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
According to Miller (2007), children need to feel affirmation, affection and
acceptance through unconditional positive regard in the following ways:
• Affirmation for being: I am glad you are who you are.
• Affirmation for becoming independent: It is okay to try new things on your own.
• Affirmation for learning to think: It is okay to make mistakes as long as you
accept responsibility for making amends.
• Affirmation for developing an individual identity: You can express your own
thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection, it is okay to disagree.
Active listening:
• Fosters catharsis.
• Helps child be less afraid of negative feelings.
• Promotes a relationship of warmth between parents and child.
• Facilitates problem-solving by the child.
• Influences the child to be more willing to listen to the parents’ thoughts and
ideas (adapted from Gordon, 2000).
Miller (2007) recommends the following for assertive communication:
• Use of simple language and short statements is effective.
• Honesty is essential even about sad events.
• Directness or getting right to the point is essential.
• Tact keeps channels of communication open.
• Concreteness makes communication clear.
• Respect is an integrated part of assertive communication.
• Optimism boosts cooperation by sharing hope.
• Flexibility is necessary to distinguish assertiveness from stubbornness.
• Confidence strengthens assertive communication by projecting assurance that
what is being said is really meant.
• Persistence conveys that we really mean what we say.
• Assertiveness with empathy is strength and love rolled into one.
Appreciation for Child’s Play
Child’s play is child’s fun and work and contributes to their development signifi-
cantly. Parents should plan for the following range of play media that encourage the
child to use and explore all developmental domains appropriate for the child’s age
group:
1. Real-life toys: Doll house with dolls, furniture and household items, cars,
buildings, animals, medical kit, school kit, money and so on.
2. Creative expression and emotional release media: Chalks and blackboards,
crayons, paints, brushes, white and coloured paper, scissors, puppets, clay, sand
tray and so on.
3. Acting-out and aggressive-release media: Inflatable punching toy, pounding
bench and so on (Barlow et al., 1985, cited in Thompson & Henderson, 2007).
4. Story books and games (Geldard & Geldard, 2002).
While selecting the media:
• Focus on the features of the play and not on the features of the toy.
• Select toys that let the child tell his or her story (Daswani, 2007).
Parents need to:

• Encourage children to play, laugh and use their imaginations.
• Respect playtime and its rituals as much as the other routines.
• Let the child select the game to play.
• Let them get dirty in the sand, water, water colours and so on.
• Let them teach you how to use their toys.
• Show them what and how they played as a child.
• Many everyday objects, if safe, can become the toy of the moment.
• Children need time for self-initiated play (Daswani, 2007).
Developing Child’s Life Skills
Build Self-Esteem in the Child: Self-esteem in children is based on three sources:

• Messages of love, support and approval from others;
• Specific attributes and competencies; and
• The way one regards these specific aspects of the self in comparison with others
and in relation to one’s ideal self (Pelham & Swann, 1989, cited in Newman &
Newman, 2007).
Parents need to encourage the child to develop self-esteem by:
• Praising the child when he does something well.
• Rewarding efforts and small steps and not just success.
• Avoiding praising only perfection (Marion, 2007).
Develop Child’s Emotional Intelligence: For development of child’s emotional

intelligence parents need to:
• Teach children to use words to describe their emotions.
• Create a safe emotional climate to talk about negative and positive emotions
(Marion 2007).
Promote Children’s Independence in Problem-Solving: Parents need to help

their child move from dependence to independence to interdependence with the
parents and other people. Gordon (2000) notes that all children have mostly
untapped potential for finding good solutions for the problems they face so parents
should let children own their problems and find their own solutions. If they hand
them pre-packaged solutions, children remain dependent and fail to develop their
own problem-solving skills. Instead of taking over their children’s problems and
come up with solutions, they should be facilitators or a catalysts or helping agents,
helping the child work through the problem-solving process on his or her own
(Gordon, 2000).
Positive Disciplining of the Child
According to Durrant (2007), positive discipline is non-violent and respectful of the

child as a learner. It is an approach to teaching that helps children succeed, gives
them information and supports their growth. According to him, positive discipline is:
• About long-term solutions that develop your child’s own self-discipline.
• Clear communication of your expectations, rules and limits.
• About building a mutually respectful relationship with your child.
• About teaching your child lifelong skills.
• About increasing your child’s competence and confidence to handle challenging
situations.
• About teaching courtesy, non-violence, empathy, self-respect, human rights and
respect for others.
History of Disciplining Methods: Biddulph and Biddulph (2007) trace the
following history of disciplining methods used by parents:
• Hitting and Hurting made children fearful or broken spirited or they became
angrier and hit back. Children learn that it is okay to hit if you are bigger.
• Shaming and Blaming took the place of hitting and hurting which resulted in a
damaged self and children became what they were called.
• Rewards and Consequences with reference to star charts, pocket money and
bearing the natural consequences work but not enough.
• Time Out or sending the children to their room to cool off works as it gives time
for parents to cool off too. However, it does not involve thinking about change.
• Stand and Think is thinking and teaching method of disciplining where the
indiscipline is dealt with.
According to Miller (2007), punishment is intended to retaliate or pay a child
back for something he or she has done. It is used to bully or coerce children into
behaving the way we want them to behave. Biddulph and Biddulph (2007) give the
following explanation for why parents put children down:
• You repeat what was said to you,
• You just thought it was the right thing to do and
• You are stressed out.
Positively Dealing with the Child’s Problem Behaviour: Biddulph and Biddulph
(2007) recommend the following ‘Not to Dos’ with children:
• Do not use put-downs.
• Do not compare.
• Never talk to other people about children’s faults in their presence or hearing.
• Do not use guilt to control children.
Marion (2007) recommends the following positive discipline strategies:
• Help children save face and preserve their dignity.
• Set the expectations for desired behaviour clarifying boundaries or limits.
• Encourage positive behaviours and deemphasise negative behaviours.

• Give meaningful feedback to children.
• Redirect very young children from a forbidden or dangerous activity.
According to Marion (2007, p. 280), children manifest behaviour problems
when their following needs are not met:
• Feeling of being loved and appreciated.
• Feeling of being safe and secure.
• Exercise and physical activity.
• Sound sleep and rest and play.
• Adequate nutrition, including enough water.
• Basic medical care.
Miller (2007) identifies the following reasons for children’s problem behaviour
which can be prevented:
• Inappropriate expectations.
• Misunderstanding expectations.
• Immature self-control.
• Boredom, fatigue and discomfort.
• Desire for recognition and discouragement.
• Frustration and rebellion.
According to Miller (2007), mildly annoying behaviour, that is neither harmful
nor unfair, can be ignored in the following ways:
• Focus attention elsewhere.
• Discreetly redirect to more positive substitute behaviour.
• Assist the child in recognising the general effects of positive behaviours.
Miller (2007) recommends that child’s harmful or unfair behaviour needs to be
immediately interrupted in the following ways:
• Redirect inappropriate behaviour firmly and respectfully.
• Explain the potential consequences of unacceptable behaviour.
• Emphasise unconditional caring and affection.
• Maintain and express confidence that a problem will be resolved.
• Protect children’s dignity and privacy.
Grunwald and McAbee (1985, cited in Collins et al. 2007) recommend the
following principles of natural and logical consequences:
• The consequences should be directly related to the behaviour.
• The consequence should be meaningful to the child.
• The consequence of the behaviour should be known ahead of time.
• The child should be aware that there is a choice between appropriate behaviour
and behaviour that will lead to negative consequences.
According to Newman and Newman (2007), discipline should:

• Help the child interrupt or inhibit the forbidden action.
• Point out a more acceptable form of behaviour, so that the child will know what
is right in a future instance.
• Provide some reason, understandable to the child, why one action is inappro-
priate and the other more desirable.
• Stimulate the child’s ability to empathise with the victim of his or her
misdeeds.
Activities
Activity 12.5: Sharing Experiences of Parenting
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will review their
experience of parenting and share them.
Procedure: Ask the parents to reflect on their experiences of parenting as follows

and share with their partners:
• What were the three best moments of being parents? Why?
• What were the three lowest moments of being parents? Why?
• Where do they feel they need help in parenting?
Activity 12.6: Video Discussion on Parenting
Learner Outcome: By the end of this activity, the parents will develop awareness
on the importance of being part of their child’s life.
Procedure: Show the video film: Pyari Muskan Hindi by Save the Children.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKplB3jilhg&list=PL38322753F73B5A71
Questions for Discussion: Use the following questions to discuss this film:
• Why is Muskan sad?
• Why do parents not have time for Muskan?
• What are its effects on Muskan?
• How could these problems be prevented?
• How can parents be part of their child’s life?
• How can they encourage their dreams?

Activity 12.7: Role-Plays on Parenting Skills
parenting skill.

1. Show Summary Chart 12.3 to introduce the parenting skills.
2. Form five small groups and allocate each set of parenting skills among them:
a. Bonding between parents and the child.
b. Sensitive communication with the child.
c. Appreciation for child’s play.
d. Skills to promote the child’s life skills.
e. Positive disciplining of the child’s behaviour.
3. Ask the small groups to read the notes, discuss and prepare a role-play of the
respective parenting skill for Muskan.
4. Ask them to present their role-play to the large group for further inputs.
Activity 12.8: Planning Education on Parenting Skills
plan workshops on parenting skills.

1. Use the same five small groups.
2. Ask the small groups to plan parenting education on the respective parenting
skill in the following format:
a. Target group and number of parents.
b. Objectives.
c. Schedule of topics and activities.
3. Ask them to present their parenting education plan to the large group for further
inputs.


Summary Chart 12.1 Parents as primary duty-bearer for child rights
• Parents are responsible for care, development and protecƟon of

their children.
• Parents are responsible to promote and protect child rights.
• The best interest of the child is the basic concern of parents.
• Both parents have common responsibiliƟes for the child.
Summary Chart 12.2 Objectives of parenting education
• Understand their role as the main primary duty-bearers of

child rights
• Develop their life skills

• Develop their marital relaƟonship skills
• Develop awareness of adulƟsm and implicaƟons

• Understand the ideology of child rights and responsibiliƟes
• Develop parenƟng skills

• Understand children’s age-group-based developmental tasks
Summary Chart 12.3 Parenting skills
AsserƟve
ParenƟng Style
PosiƟve SensiƟve
ParenƟng
Disciplining of CommunicaƟon
Skills
the Child with the Child
AppreciaƟon for
Child's Play
Exercise for Activity 12.3: Marriage Quiz

No. Marriage is… Agree/
Disagree
1. Marriage is a sharing relationship.
2. Marriage solves all personal problems.
3. Marriage is what you make it.
4. Marriage is a bed of roses.
5. Marriage is a commitment.
6. Conflicts are not present in a happy marriage.
7. Marriage means to forget everybody else besides the

marriage partner.
8. Marriage means dissolving self for the marriage partner.
9. Marriage means companionship to carry out life tasks.

Exercise for Activity 12.4: Quiz on Gender Roles in Marriage

No. Role of Men and Women in Marriage Agree/
Disagree
1. Men should be in control of themselves at all times.
2. Women are unsuited for management posts.

3. Women should never take part in business and politics.
4. Men and women are on par, only biologically different.
5. Women should necessarily know home management
which is not necessary for men.
6. Upbringing of children is mainly the mother’s job.
7. Men only can control family affairs satisfactorily.

8. Women are made better cooks than men.
9. Husband and wife should share household chores.

10. A married woman should work only if she can also look
after the household work by herself.
11. Not only the wife but also the husband should care for
and respect his in-laws.
12. Husband and wife are equal partners in marriage.
Desai, M. (2010). Chapter 11: Parenting Education. In A Rights-Based Preventative. Approach for
Psychosocial Well-Being in Childhood. Heidelberg: Springer, Series on Children’s Well-Being:
Indicators and Research.
References
Anderson, S. A., & Sabatelli, R. M. (2007). Family interaction: A multigenerational develop-

mental perspective (4th ed.). Boston: Pearson.
Biddulph, S., & Biddulph, S. (2007). The complete secrets of happy children. Sydney: Harper
Collins Publishers.
Collins, D., Jordan, C., & Coleman, H. (2007). An introduction to family social work (2nd ed.)
Australia: Brooks/Cole.
Darnell, D. (2001). Learning to love. Counselling and Psychological Service: University of New
York at Chapel Hill.
Daswani, S. (2007). Parental involvement in children’s play. In K. P. Nonis & S. Daswani (Eds.),
The power of movement: How to enhance children’s cognitive, social, emotional and physical
development (pp. 1–14). Singapore: Prentice Hall.
Duncan, S. F., & Goddard, H. W. (2005). Family life education: Principles and practices for
effective outreach. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.
Durrant, J. E. (2007). Positive discipline: What it is and how to do it. Sweden: Save the Children.
Egan, G. (2002). The skilled helper: A problem-management and opportunity-development
approach to helping (7th ed.), Brooks/Cole.
Geldard, K., & Geldard, D. (2002). Counselling children: A practical introduction. London: Sage
Publications.
Gordon, T. (2000). Parent effectiveness training: The proven program for raising responsible
children. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Marion, M. (2007). Guidance of young children (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/
Merrill/Prentice Hall.
Miller, D. F. (2007). Positive child guidance (5th ed.). Australia: Thomson.
National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2003). Preventing drug abuse among children. Retrieved from
https://www.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/preventingdruguse_2.pdf.
Strong, B., DeVault, C., & Cohen, T. F. (2008). The marriage and family experience: Intimate
relationships in a changing society (10th ed.). USA: Wadsworth.
Thompson, C. L., & Henderson, D. A. (2007). Counseling children. Australia; Belmont, CA:
Thomson/Brooks/Cole.
Zimmerman, S. L. (2001). Family policy: Constructed solutions to family problems. London: Sage
Publications.
English–Hindi Glossary
English Hindi
Acceptance
Activity
Activity time
Adaptability
Adolescence
Adolescent sexuality
Adultism
Affirmation /
Aggressiveness
Anger
Anxiety
Artwork/Posters
Assertiveness
Assessment
Awareness
Best interest of the child
Biological changes in puberty

https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-10-4729-9
356 English–Hindi Glossary
English Hindi
Body language
Case study discussion
Categories
Child abuse
Child development
Child responsibility
Child rights
Child trafficking
Childhood
Children in conflict with law
Children with disability
Children’s associations
Children’s empowerment
Cognitive development
Collaborative
Commercial exploitation of children
Commercial sexual exploitation of children
Communication
Conflict management
Connectedness
Constitutional rights
Creative thinking
Critical thinking
Cultural rights
Critique
Culture-sensitive approach -
Dalit children
Decision-making
English Hindi
Development
Dignity
Direct
Discipline
Disciplining
Discrimination
Diversity in childhood
Early childhood
Education
Emotional awareness
Emotional expression
Emotional intelligence
Empathy
Empowerment
Engagement with children
Enrichment
Environment
Equal/Egalitarian /
Ethical approach
Exclusion
Exercise
Expected outcome
Experiential method
Facilitating
Family
Family dynamics
Family interactions with its environment
Family life
English Hindi
Family rights
Family structure
Family well-being
Fear
Feedback
Flexible thinking
Forgiveness
Friendship
Game
Gratitude
Group
Happiness
Humility
Humour
Hurt
Ideology
The Indian Constitution
Industrial context
Infancy
Integrity
Interdependence
Interpersonal
Irrational thinking
Joy
Laughter
Life-course theories
English Hindi
Life skills
Listening
Love
Marital relationship
Methodology
Methods
Middle childhood
Negative emotions
Negative thinking
Parenting education
Participatory approach
Passiveness
Patriarchy
Person-centred approach -
Personality
Physical abuse
Plan
Planning
Play, recreation and cultural life ,
Positive feelings for others

Positive perception of others
Positive emotions
Positive thinking
Post-industrial context -
Pre/Non-industrial context -
Prejudice
Primary duty-bearers of children
Principles of child rights
English Hindi
Proactive thinking
Problem-based approach
Problem-solving
Procedure
Protective
Psychosocial
Psychosocial development
Puberty
Questions for discussion
Quiz
Rational thinking
Reactive thinking
Regulating negative emotions
Relationship
Respect
Rigid thinking
Role-plays
Sadness
Self-acceptance -
Self-confidence
Self-empowerment -
Self-esteem
Self-defence
Self-identity -
Self-respect
Self-responsibility
Sensitive
Skills
English Hindi
Small group discussion
Smile
Spontaneous
Story
Street plays
Strengths-based approach
Sympathy
Systems theories
Teamwork
Theory
Time management
Tools
Tribal children
Unconditional love
Uniqueness
Verbal communication
Video discussion
Warmth
Workshop

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Rights-based Direct Practice with Children

Series Editor: Child Rights and You (CRY)

This series provides comprehensive source material for teachers, trainers,

Child Rights and You, commonly abbreviated as CRY, is a non-proﬁt organization

More information about this series at http://www.springer.com/series/15428

ISSN 2520-1751 ISSN 2520-176X (electronic)

© Child Rights and You 2018

Printed on acid-free paper

This Springer imprint is published by Springer Nature

December 2016 Puja Marwaha

Aims and Target Groups

The series of Sourcebooks on Rights-based Direct Practice with Children provides

Fig. 1 Conceptual framework of rights-based direct practice with children

Fig. 2 Ideologies of child rights

Fig. 3 Methodology of Direct Practice with Children

supplementary childcare services: day/night/after-school care for children, and child

This series recommends the methodology of facilitating participatory group

Aim and Learner Objectives

The sourcebook-I on Introduction to Rights-Based Direct Practice with Children

intelligence with reference to awareness of emotions in self and awareness of

Piloting of the Sourcebook

After preparing all the Training sourcebooks, I conducted a six-day Training of

culture-sensitive approaches provided enriched and insightful skills. The

Part 1: Foundation of Life Skills

Part 2: Introduction to Theories, Rights and Skills of Engagement with Children

Module Aim and Objectives

The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops: The aim of this module is

Self-Empowerment: The aim of this module is to develop self-empowerment

Emotional Intelligence: The aim of this module is to develop emotional intelli-

Sensitive Interpersonal Communication Skills: The aim of this module is to

Collaborative Interpersonal Relationship Skills: The aim of this module is to

Psychosocial Theories of Child Development: The aim of this module is to

Critical Theories of Deconstruction of Problems in Childhood: The aim of this

Child Rights-based Engagement with Children: The aim of this module is to

I have prepared this sourcebook by using my book A Rights-Based Preventative

Mumbai, India Murli Desai

1 The Methodology of Participatory Group Workshops . . . . ....... 1

Part I Foundation of Life Skills

Application of Proactive Thinking Skills to Problem–Solving

Part II Introduction to Theories, Rights and Skills of Engagement

Theories of Development in Middle Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196

Ethical Approach of Engagement with Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 321

1.1 Teamwork skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

6.5 Levels of cohesion in relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176

3.12 Game of Practising Problem-Solving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

7.1 Reflections on Effects of Heredity and Environment on One’s

12.5 Sharing Experiences of Parenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 348

Introduction to the Methodology of Participatory

© Child Rights and You 2018 1

the chance to contribute. An ideal number ranges from 12 to maximum 25 (Terre

Concept of Experiential Learning: According to Terre des Hommes (2008),

Principles of Experiential Learning: The experiential learning process is based on

3. People believe more in knowledge they have discovered themselves than in

Introductory Activity 1.1: Teamwork

Procedure: Use the following procedure for this activity:

Activity 1.2: Group Story

Procedure: Use the following procedure to conduct this activity:

8. Introduce the following units of the module:

Time Estimate: 30 min

Planning for Participatory Group Workshops

Selection and Baseline Assessment of the Target Group

Aim and Learner Objectives

• R-Relevant: The objectives must be relevant.