Testimony and Reflection on the 1st of the 7 Last Words of Jesus

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
(“Ama, patawarin mo po sila sapagkat hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.”)

Good afternoon everyone!

Before I start I would like to give gratitude to the people behind this program we are in attendance today. Thank you for
giving me this opportunity to speak in front of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for trusting me to share
my knowledge and experience… especially my encounter with Jesus. I am so honoured to be standing here in front of
you this afternoon.

Last year, honestly, was my first time attending the Siete Palabras spearheaded by our parish. For most of I can
remember, I am always at home when Siete Palabras is being done. I am one of those who prefer watching the 7 Last
Words of Jesus on tv at home and there were times that I even fall asleep while the tv show is on the run. I am twenty
four now and I am quite embarrass of how little I was able to give of that twenty four years of life to our God when in
fact God has given and is still giving everything He has to this young lady speaking. This is also why I was so surprised
upon learning that I will be giving a testimonial on the first of the seven last words of Jesus. I never thought of myself
speaking in front of many people in the community where I belong except for school programs. I am not that successful.
I am not famous, enough to be influential. I am not that great as a person. I am simply ME. A human full of flaws. A
human, a sinner. I do not deserve any recognition coming from the church I am attending to for all my life more the less
from God because for many years I am what we call “tulog na Kristiyano”. I do go to church, attend mass, support some
of the activities of the parish, do some charity works and obey some of the commandments of God and that was it. I
thought it was enough doing things the society expects everyone to observe. But I was mistaken. Whatever I have done
in the past, they were never enough to equal what I have received from God and what He has done for me. And I think
whatever I am still doing now and will be doing in the future I can never really be on par with what God stored for me. I
will never be enough to deserve His paradise. And then I was in deep thought again. But why me? Why was I given this
kind of opportunity? Right then and there it hit me. I AM HERE IN FRONT OF YOU TODAY BECAUSE JESUS LOVES ME.
GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH THAT HE WANTED ME TO TALK TO YOU WITH THE GUIDANCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. AND
YOU ARE ALSO HERE TO LISTEN BECAUSE WE ARE LOVED BY GOD GREATLY.

The first of the seven last word of Jesus, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Ama, patawada sinda ta
dai ninda aram kun ano an ginigibo ninda). Imagine how Jesus Christ suffered, how He endured all the wrongdoings of
men. Imagine how hurt He was going through all the excruciating physical and emotional pain especially the betrayal of
His beloved disciples. All His sufferings which led to His death on the cross were deeply rooted from the sins men
committed. And yet, there He was on His final moments asking our Father to forgive those people. There He was, on the
CROSS, the TRUTH condemned by the people.

As I was reflecting on the first last word of Jesus on the cross, I began to re-examine myself---where am I now? Who am I
now? Why am I who and where am I now? Going back to my younger days, I guess it became a bad habit to lie for
personal interests. My lies like any other typical lies started small and then grew bigger as I mature. On this matter I do
not only talk about the lies which one makes to save oneself from rants and sermons like not telling my parents where I
am going after school and whom I spend time with when I’m not at home what are we going to do while we’re out, or
that whether or not I have finished my chores or my assignments or projects before using my phone or surf the internet,
etc. but also the lies of omission and white lies. For example, making excuses--- Excuses just to save myself from doing
my responsibilities as a child, a sister, a friend, a colleague, a part of a community and at times to save myself from the
burdens of the consequence of my unreasonable and not-well-thought-of deeds. Another is praising someone or
something without really meaning it and at times doing it in mockery. Another one is telling someone about something
but with add-ons or deductions. And of all the lies I have committed the biggest one is turning my eyes blind and my
ears deaf to the truth I know and believe in. Instead of correcting a mistake I lie just not to hurt someone or for them not
to be embarrassed or for me to avoid getting into an argument. I thought I was doing well, I thought it’s righteous. But
then my silence and lies aren’t really a good combination. Once my silence and lies go together they form a negative
effect not only on my part but on my fellows as well. Instead of building a good relationship with others I build nothing. I
am like those people who persecuted Jesus Christ. I condemned what is true. I am unforgivable.

Another flaw as I grow and get much familiar with is betrayal. I have betrayed people. I have betrayed myself by
betraying them. Most of all I have once again betrayed God because of doing the action itself. How do we show
betrayal? I guess it is not only by deception but also through letting people down and giving up. When I say I am ok
when in fact I am not it is already deception. When I do something of low quality thus ending up with disappointing
others, it is letting them down. And when I start to think I cannot do anything anymore without even trying it is giving
up. During my college days, I was a laidback kind of student, a passing grade is enough for me, I wasn’t like that during
my high school. Back in high school I was a competitive one always vying for recognition. I guess I have given up early
because I lost my confidence. I lost faith in myself. Whatever I do back then it always ended up short. I always pity
myself for always being second rate (Copycat. Hehe charot!) Yeah, for always being behind others. Because of focusing
on my shortcomings and weaknesses I have forgotten the promises I made. I have forgotten to give my best in
everything I do. I have forgotten that God gave me a gift of talent and skills which I am responsible of refining or
enhancing. I lost several battles because I didn’t even budge a single step. Through my shortcomings I conspired with
what is evil. And for this I am really unforgivable.

And then here comes greed… name it: materialism, craving, meanness, selfishness. This is one of the most common
sicknesses of all men including me of course. This is where you’ll start doubting your significance, then finding fault from
others, blaming them for your flaws and wishing not-so-good things. With greediness in our hearts we are slowly being
sunk into the deep waters and buried into the cold ground. I myself got stuck on this condition. And I can say it was a
moment of darkness and emptiness. At first I didn’t acknowledge I was greedy. Was it greediness when I wished to get
lots of money, get rich, and find a stable high-paying job? Was it greed when I want to get what my friends have also?
Was it greediness for me to be jealous and just wish other people to fail because I feel like I am a failure so they should
also be one? Was it greediness to pent out my anger to innocent people because I feel too much burden and I feel like
no one as in nobody even myself understands me anymore? Was it greed for me to wish things would just end up
already and be over? I cannot say no. And I know then that I was greedy. I am unpardonable.

Before I became a member of the Eucharistic Ministers of the Word of God I felt like hell. Lies, betrayal, greed--- these
engulfed me entirely. Back then it was a life so miserable I just want to end things in one click. Suicide occurred and run
around my head like a sweet temptation. Thank goodness my parents have nurtured me with love and strength to face
life’s challenges. And thank goodness killing oneself didn’t really sound and look good. When I felt like I can’t lean on
anyone… my friends and my family most especially, because for that time being I felt like I’m alone--- I can’t understand
myself well so how could anyone else understand me? Someone came. Actually this someone was already known to me
for years but the relationship we have was like stagnant water. It’s there but it’s not moving. And when I initiated to
work on this relationship it was like fireworks, like when I first noticed him, illuminating the dark sky and giving more life
to it. I only recognized him then but some power did its part and right now my family isn’t just the one I have stayed
together with in one roof. I may have lost papa five years ago but in the process of moving on I gained another family
where I also have several, fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters. They have embraced me as well despite my flaws.
Then I realized I was never really alone. My wickedness and my shortcomings---someone has prayed me to get out of
them and continue to fight for what is good and for the truth. Someone even unknowingly took an action to help me get
out of the darkness. And then I’ve found the path I am meant to take. I learned how to pray as I awakened from the
slumber I was in for many years. I began listening and taking into my heart and mind the word of God. I felt His
unconditional love. And because I am still a sinner, I unceasingly pray. I oblige happily, willingly, and openly in the
sacrament of confession. And through confession I am renewed. I am once more a better person, a better servant, a
better daughter, a better friend, a better version of my past self. And through these efforts of reconciliation with God
through His Son our brother and saviour Jesus Christ I know I am forgiven and welcomed to His paradise.

So to everyone in here let us applaud in the divine and great love of God to us. Let us celebrate meaningfully His love
through Jesus Christ. The cross which Jesus carried, where he was nailed, where he said his seven last words---the first
being “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Ama, patawada sinda ta dai ninda aram an ginigibo ninda),
and where he died for our sins, let us perceive it as our way of salvation. Jesus on that cross, isn’t just about how cruel
men are but also it is a way of showing us that God loves us so much he gave us His only begotten Son to save us and
partake to the promise of an eternal life. Jesus’ first last word shows us also the trait of forgiving. It may be hard for us
humans to forgive but let us do it anyway.

Let your hardened hearts and your pride be melted away by condoning those who have wronged you. Forgive them.
Forgive yourselves too. “Forgiveness demonstrates the presence in the world of the love which is more powerful than
sin. Forgiveness is also the fundamental condition for reconciliation, not only in the relationship of God with man, but
also in relationships between people” (John Paul II, Dives in misericordia, 14). Reconcile with God through confession.
And in this age of technology and modernization let us all be critical in all we post and believe especially from the social
media.