the Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Univer

se 205

The Search for Signs of 1neI1igent

Life in the Universe
‘S \Vrittcn by Jane Wagner
1’cJi &1 and pi cIncc1 by LiR Twilin

TRUDY
rt•rnIj G
Frankly, infinity doesn’t affect me personally one way or the other.
-‘4’

You think too long about infinity, you could go stark raving mad.
F $
,
But I don’t ever want to sound negative about going crazy
I don’t want to overromanticize it either, but frankly,
goin’ crazy was the best thing ever happened to me.
I dont say it’s for everybody;
4) 4.

some people eouldnt cope.

But for me it came at a time when nothing else seemed to be

working. 1 got the kind of madness Socrates talked about,
“A divine release of the soul from the yoke of
custom and convention.” I refuse to he intimidated by
reality anymore.
After all, what is reality anyway? Nothin’ but a
collective hunch. My space chums think reality was once a
primitive method of
crowd control that got out of hand.
In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up
in a three-piece business suit.

I made some studies, and

reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in
touch with it. I can take it in small doses, hut as a lifestyle
I found it too confining.
It was just too needful;
it expected me to be there for it ciii the time, and with
all
I have to do—
1 had to let something go.
I 206 Drama: Monologues

Now, since I put reality on a back burner, my days

are
jam-packed and fun-filled. Like some days, I go hang
out
around Seventh Avenue: I love to do this old joke
:
I wait for some music-loving tourist from one of
the hotels
on Central Park to go up and ask someone,
“How do I get to Carnegie Hall?”
Then I run up and yell,
“Practise!”
The expression on people’s faces is priceless. I neve
r
could’ve done stuff like that when 1 was in my right
mind.
I’d be worried people would think I was crazy
.
When I think of the fun I missed,
I try not to be bitter.

See, the human mind is kind of like..

a piñata. When it breaks open,

there’s a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the
piñata
perspective, you see that losing your mind
can be a peak experience.

I was not always a bag lady, you know.

I used to be a designer and creative consultant. For
big
companies!
Who do you think thought up the colour scheme
for Howard Johnson’s?
At the time, nobody was using
orange and aqua
in the same room together.
With fried clams.
M
Laugh tracks:
I gave TV sitcoms the idea for canned laughter.
I got the idea, one day I heard voices 2.
and no one was there.

Who do you think had the idea to package pant

y hose
in a plastic goose egg?
 The Search for Sign
s of Intelligent lif
e in the Unive
rse 207
One thing 1 personal
ly don’t like about pa
When you roll ‘em do nty hose:
wn to the ankles the
can’t walk too good. way I like ‘em, you
People seem amused
loss of dignity? You , so what’s a little
got to admit:
It’s a look!

The only idea I’m prou

d of—
my umbrella hat. Pr
otects against sunstro
muggers, For some rea ke, rain and
son, muggers steer cle
wearing umbrella ha ar of people
ts.
So it should come as no
shock. I am now cre
these aliens from oute
. .
ative consultant to
r space. They’re a kind
fact-Finding committ a cosmic
ee. Amongst other pro
searching all over for jects, they’ve been
Signs of Intelligent Lif
e.
It’s a lot trickier than
it sounds.

}ane Wagner is a pla

ywright, writer of scr
The Search for Signs eenplays and teleplay
of Intelligent Life in the s, designer, and pro
Desk Award for “Uniq Universe (1986) wo ducer.
ue Theatrical Expe n both a New York Dr
award. Her teleplay rience” and a New ama
fT. won a Peabod York Drama Critics’
with Lily Tomlin. y Award. She has co Circle
Lily Tomlin has create llaborated on severa
d a multitude of me l projects
television, stage show morable comic chara
s, films, and Broadw cters for
Laugh-In between 197 ay. She was a regula
0 and 3973, as well r on the television
in 1996, She won an as the series Murphy series
Oscar nomination Brown with Candice
movie Nashville (19 as ‘Best Supporting Be rgen
75). (Jane Wagner born Actress” for her rol
1nnessee 19.35: Lily To e in the
mlin born Michigan
1939)

RESPONDIN
G
Meaning
I. What do you know ab I
out Trudy from what
what is not said? Wr she says? What do
ite a character sketc you know about her
mation to support yo h of her using both from
ur view. explicit and implicit
2. What is the nature of inf or
the social commentar
answer with specific y made through this
references to the tex monologue? Support
t, your