Approach Women 2 Day Game

www.CarlosXuma.
com
Approach
Women 2:
Real Alpha
DayGame
COMPLETE
REFERENCE
MANUAL &
NOTES
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
Here's how to best use
your Approach Women 2:
Step 1: RAD Program:
Complete
the Fast- www.CarlosXuma.com
Start
Academy NO Have you
completed the 5
step Fast-start
Academy?
STEP 2: Watch
YES
Approach DVDs
STEP 3: Listen to Approach
DVD 3: Class CDs 1-7
DayGame
Seminar
CD 1 CD 2 CD 3 CD 4 CD 5 CD 6 CD 7
DVD 1: STEP 4: Reveiew

Carlos'
Approach DVDs
Seminar
DVD 4: Have You
YES
Approach started
Examples Practicing?
DVD 2: NO
Carlos'
Seminar Listen to
Disc 8
DVD 3: Practice
Approach
Simulator
Notes: Listen to
Disc 9
- Listen all the way through You've Graduated - Every
the program the first time... Congratulations! Time You
- Have your journal ready and Go Out
on-hand as you listen to the
program so you can take
notes...
- Keep Disc 9 in your car or Step 5: Listen to Master
wherever you will listen to it Class CDs 10-16
before you go out to approach
- Review the entire program
at least 3 times over the next
CD 10 CD 11 CD 12 CD 13 CD 14 CD 15 CD 16
8-12 months for maximum
benefit.
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DVD 1:
Victim Goal Setting
______________________
We are the cause of our own failure - and success.

Follow the Some guys set goals in such a way that they ensure they fail, to
instructions prove themselves as being a victim.
in your Anything you do will work - as long as you work hard at whatever
program for system you work. So work at this one.
the correct
You are the man. YOU make things happen... Don't wait!
order of the
discs. Start at your current challenge - your lowest common denominator.
Identify it - wherever you can take action to move forward... like

Read the
getting out of the house because you're intimidated by social
notes along interaction.
with the
program to Men move to the next step too fast - before they have even mastered
the current challenge.
double your
information Break It Down - The Approach
retention. ______________________
1st - Just walk by, occasionally making eye contact. No words

exchanged.
2nd - Come by again, ask for the time.
3rd - Ask if she was there with anybody... it's not the best question
but, it's something. Seeing that it yielded no results prompts you to
use something better.
"A bad technique that gets you to take action will always beat a
great technique you can't do."

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An even better question to use could be... "I don't know what I should
drink. What do you recommend?"
4 Steps to Skill Development

______________________
1. Get Knowledge
2. Rehearse and Customize
3. Implement and Use
4. Sharpen and Saw
Get as much knowledge as you can but just enough that you can still
manage it.
Own it!
Rehearse. Plan an approach from start to finish. Go through the
thinking steps of planning an approach in your own words. Script
yourself. Don't use other people's lines.
Be authentic. Be you.
Keyword Technique is using just a word or two to trigger your recall.

Example: Pop Culture
"Riff" on your keywords - Improvise
Situational Rehearsal
Get out in a situation where you use what you've rehearsed.
Don't spend time learning - making it "bigger" than it really is.
Situational rehearsal is the most important step.
Without intelligent application it is useless.
Improve.
Positive internal results will cement the habit in you.
"Emotional aftertaste" is the feeling you're left with after you've done
something.
Example: Snowboarding... Visceral thrill, adrenaline rush of going

down a mountain at ridiculous speeds.

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Focus is not making your technique perfect, but instead on making
the experience as fun as possible.
Approach Version 2.0

______________________
Approach is a no lose situation.

Lower your investment.
Intruder/Interrupter
Mindset: "What can I do to bring her some fun today?"
Invest in her
Go in with a killer sense of your own value - TOTAL CONVICTION.

Get behind your reason for "interrupting" her day. Or, you'll never feel
good
about inserting yourself into her day.
Enthusiasm and Excitement

Low energy is not appealing, attractive.
Pick up the energy and excitement.
I'm too cool, too relaxed, too laid back - is said because they're
genuinely afraid to reveal what's really going on inside of them.
They're afraid of vulnerability - afraid to show their true personality.
That's what holds most guys back.
You can get energy up by doing a light workout before heading out to
approach.
Example: Push-ups, Crunches
Reconnect to your physical state, otherwise you'll stay in your head.
R.A.D. - Real Alpha DayGame

______________________
Integrate approach skills into your lifestyle.

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DayGame is the ability to approach anywhere, anytime. And, is a
must.
Develop good success habits.
R.E.A.L.
R is... Relaxed and Resourceful
Don't use other people's material.

It is incongruous to who you are - does not match your identity.
E is... Effective and Energized
Use what is effective for you - it is congruous to who you are.

Your energy level and enthusiasm is essential.
A is... Authentic and Alpha
L is... Lifestyle and Lasting

Approach Ver. 2.0 is about making Approaching women a natural and
ongoing habit that you wonʼt even think about anymore.
Inner Game
______________________
The 7 Elements:
Self-Management
Linear Learning
Energy Management
Emotional Energy Management
Front-loading
Enthusiasm and Excitement
Never Lie/Never Own
Approach is a habit not an event.

It is a lifestyle choice not a hobby or discipline.

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Practice - closer to the definition of a "doctor's practice".
Practice means to do something consistently, over and over again in
pursuit of excellence in a particular area.
Practice does not always make perfect. Practice just makes more
practice.
It gets you what you want.
DayGame is the only form of approach that is consistent with an

Alpha Man's Lifestyle.
The Gap
Your "Pick-Up Personality"

The Real You
The gap is the distance between the real you and the person you use
to meet and pick-up women.
Self-Management
Learn how to manage yourself and your emotions. If you can't, you'll
have a difficult life.
Who is your puppet master? Your emotions or your self-discipline?

Recognize resistance - finding places within you. Resistance is an
alert to you.
Rapport-building with women often brings up resistance in men.

All emotions are signals to you that something needs attention.
Resistance is the 1st sign of an inner game issue. Don't resist it!
Figure out what it is showing you.
Linear Learning
The myth of linear learning...
Learning the basics does kill enthusiasm.
Example: Guitar and Music Theory
Get in the dirt. Get to it!

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Immersion first - get into the environment.
Talk to people - all kinds not just women.

Incremental learning is a must, so develop patience for success.
The field - getting out and interacting is 90% of your learning and
success.
Motivation=Fuel
How do you get past your resistance?
Get motivation.
Get in the environment.
Do the things you fear the most as fast as you can - smallest
incremental energy.
Energy Management
What to do to get you to do...

The reality is - You have an infinite reserve of energy.
Bulldog mentality - Example: working out
Use what little willpower you have to implement new habits.
Recommended reading: "The Power of Full Engagement" Tony
Schwartz.
Develop new habits that lead you to success.

The unrealistic expectation that kills your motivation and your game
is...
30 day cycle - 1 new habit per month, every month.
Emotional Energy Management

Watch your emotional energy.
Women's emotional energy is much higher than yours - you will be
drained before she is.
Learn how to recharge in the moment.

The power of Rituals

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Silent observer mode - sit back and think. Recompose, get energy
back to be present in the moment.
Front-Loading
Creating expectations.
If you can't be okay with the interactions not giving you anything -
you're need to get something out of it...You must be okay with it not
working.
Zero investment change - Nothing is guaranteed. That's what makes

it fun every time.
Give value, fun, and excitement.
Make every approach a win.
Resistance is created by risk. The solution is to remove the risk.
Enthusiasm, and Excitement

Energy - The most overlooked part of connecting
with people is how we are attracted to people with energy.
Never LIe/Never Own

Never lie to yourself - it puts you in a place of complacency.
Never attempt to possess or own.
Be the best you possible. You can keep her longer when...
Be okay with not having a woman in your life.
Beliefs are - not truths. If so, they would be facts. They are guiding
principles, theories - a way to help get you through life.
Beliefs don't always serve you. They become your identity, even
when they are false. Think about that...
Myelin Connection
The more you think about something, the more likely it is to become a
part of your identity/reality.

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Myelin speeds neural transmissions and locks them in.
Change - persistent challenge breaks beliefs.

21-30 day cycles to change beliefs and habits.
Dilemma of Desire
Your level
Your goal
Your next steps lie in between - shoot for your abilities.
Shyness - Why?
Shy is not an adjective. It's a behavior. It should be a verb...
It is an action, a behavior.
What your mind thinks and what your emotions believe.
Behavior not identity.
Overcome with progressive acclimation and persistence.
Build habit. Don't fight nature.
Gameplan
___________________
Environment
Create the highest possible success probability
High Probability Dating - find women that are interested
Disqualify first, not last! You can't just let any woman in. She has to
be good enough for you.
Caution not recklessness.
Men emotionally invest in women based on appearance - if she's

beautiful, she's valuable... this is the worst perception to have.
Be skeptical of women who are beautiful.
Women naturally possess the attitude of qualification.
Attitude
___________________
Give before you get, give not get

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Bring her fun - You have the coolest life imaginable and when she
finds out about it, her level of value is raised by being a part of your
life.
It also illustrates why you must define your own success - leave her in
a better state than when you found her.
A story.... being stuck in our own point of view
Example: The Man Next Door

You can't see another person's pain without getting through yours
first.
Don't take others as personal judgement against all.

Most people don't even think of you at all - this fact should set you
free to rake action without shame.
High desire - create trust.

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DVD 2:
Preparation - getting your mindset changed

Change your beliefs
Pre-Approach Checklist
Prepare your mind
Relax your thinking - Try meditation
Prepare your body - Get your physical "jacked up"
Laugh, joke
Relax your body, let confidence show
Your comfort will help or hinder your approach with women. If you're
nervous and tense, so will she. Make her feel safe.
Don't physically hunt her - intersect.

Mind your group - only fellow Alphas
Be social
Kill the salesman - be genuine. You can be this way on the inside, not
the outside.
Remember the need to connect.
Women need to create and nurture relationships.
The R.A.D. Model

____________________
This model builds on what you learned from Approach Women - Now!
A.I.M. model.
Example: Atomic Model. Starts out simple, then gets more detailed.
Atoms then quarks, superstrings
Stay simple until you get success.
Identify

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Relax
Flow into the approach with an observation or comment about the
environment
you find yourself in.
Exit
Define success - All of the above with her feeling good.

Success is not a get result.
Early success - building a habit

Later success - building a connection
Approach goal - remove approach anxiety.

Approach anxiety - goals are to lofty
Get her interested in wanting more.
What's your style? Leverage your strengths.

Funny? Use humor.
Confident? Use direct interest.
Cocky? Use "cocky/funny".
Smart? Use your intellect.
Sensitive? Use your knowledge of emotions.
3 Response Modes
_____________________
"Closed"- Aloof, hard to get, bitchy
Persistence - have a bandolier of stuff to talk about. Make sure your
chatter is original, authentic.
Initially screen them out - better off not to approach them. You're
making it more
difficult for yourself. Don't make it harder than it already is.
"Neutral" - Hard to read, they not "un"-responsive

They are not helping but not against you.
Give enthusiasm, energy.
Plow through.

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"Open" - Easy to talk to.
Good feeling, engaging.
E.D.G.E.
_____________________
E... Engage interest
D... Drive up desire - make her want you. No supplicating, no
weaseling.
G... Get connection - level of interest she'll want to build
E... Escalate and exit - A phone number or email. Another option, the
instant date.
Mental buys. Social buys require rapport/trust on a higher level.

AIDA=
Attention
Interest
Desire
Action
Attraction Elements
_____________________
Target - Ignore if anxious
Approach/Open - Introduction
Attract - Qualification both ways
Bridging/Vibing - Forward-moving energy
Rapport/Connection/Trust
Escalation - Getting interest level up
Close - Next action
This process repeats every time with a woman - at least some steps
will be repeated.
Women's Emotional States

High anxiety
Excited at the possibility
Nervous about looking bad, weird

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Fearful that she has to handle your interest
Worried that she looks good/bad
Hopeful that she will be desired
Embarrassed for you, if you're not smooth
Anxious - no control
Defensive Mechanisms & Testing

All of her anxiety gets pushed on you... "Why is he talking to me?"
Give her a reason to talk to you.
Manage the shock - she is usually in shock so you must ante up 80%
of starting the conversation
Guide her through it - her emotional challenge.
This is the highest anxiety time for a man because you have to
manage the shock.
Opening - not the opener. When you see a change in her physiology -
that signals that she's open to the interaction. She feels safe in the
interaction.
Your talking gives her comfort and relaxes her. Feel free to ramble.
Social Friction
Boredom is a skill.
It doesn't matter how long but how into it you are... How interesting
do you make it?
Remove most social friction - you can't get rid of it all and you
wouldn't want to.
Approach is not a full conversation, a shortened version.

Make it effective in the short amount of time you have.
Attain the goal you've set.

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Don't be a persona. Don't be anything other than you. Don't be a try
hard.
Using other people's material...
Do not use other people's material unless it is something you have

found yourself saying in the past... or would say. Come up with your
own stuff - from your personality - and practice.
Openers
Situational/Observational - Best for DayGame. Has the lowest "prep"

factor, has many combinations.
Whatever situation your in, helps to feed your conversation.

Creating on the fly - by being present and in the moment.
Regional interest
Opinion - Make them relevant to the environment

Indirect - Doesn't immediately broadcast interest. Quick, easy way to
start a conversation. Sneaks under her radar.
Direct - Show interest
Directly indirect - lets her know in a subtle way you're interested and
still being situational.
Example: Next 10 places you go or for the next 30 days, take in the
environment.
No approaching/talking. Come up with a situational/observational

opener based on the environment you're in.
"I couldn't help but notice..."

"Did you see...?"
Lending assistance - Chivalry.
Regional Interest - good for warm up, indirect

Ask an interest question that's important to you.
Example: What's a good place to get Italian food around here?

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Where would you have fun in this part of town?
Opinion Opener - good to start a conversation - inspires a response.

Con - Must be yours or you'll be called out on it. It's "gamey".
Indirect - good warm up. Easy to use but harder to transition

You can ask for the time but how d you transition that into a
conversation.
Don't ask for facts. Ask a question that will lead to other directions.
Examples: Mistake opener - mistaken identity.
Do you have the time? Where is X? This is going to sound gay but...
Make sure you're genuinely interested.
Eavesdrop on conversations - something will come up that you can

talk about.
Example: Movies
Techniques
"Baiting" - Dropping information, and seeing what she does with it.
Does she run with it? Or avoids it?
Example: "Last year when I went to Greece..."
Is her reaction - that's interesting or that's weird
Self-Centered Attention
Watch for two women - ask to satisfy their insecurity
Example: "I like that about you..." " I bet your friends like that about
you..."
Throw out a non-sequitor if you want to determine connection
Investment - the amount of value she places on you.

How much does she have to lose?
Human beings are more motivated by fear of loss the promise of

gain.

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Insuring that there is a low level risk that she'll flake - give her the
feeling that she might have something to lose, she might be missing
out.
Make sure she has an emotional stake in you.

You can call her on her lack of interest.
In order to minimize flaking, you must read her correctly. Give her fun
and value. Get her invested in the outcome (more than her fears).
Crystallization
Give her something to think about that will keep you on her mind.
Simplest way - text message, subtle note - keep it funny
Helps to escalate
Creates response potential because she's been thinking about you.
Taffying
Drawing it out a bit longer without being annoying.
Stretching the approach.
When she shows the need to exit, you're signaled that she's bored.
Bring it up a notch - fun and exciting.
Gets you past the fear of annoying others.
Is a skill for you to be comfortable with perception.
You always want to leave her wanting more.
"You're an adventurer!"
The warrior sees life as a challenge.

Every other guy sees life as a blessing or a curse.
Make life what you want it to be.
Live with purpose.

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DVD 3:
DayGame Seminar
_____________________
Triple Threat - Inner Game, Outer Game, Motivation
DayGame is the only game!

DayGame is... Nightgame is an extension of DayGame.
It is consistent with the confident man's Alpha Lifestyle.
It is congruent to a confident self image.
Alpha Man is the next evolution of what men need to be -

Socially savvy
Emotionally intelligent
Sophisticated
The Gap
You have the "pick-up" you that's attracted to the girl.
You have the real, everyday you.
(You run out of stuff.)
Who do you approach? Old? Fat? Ugly?

Don't just approach women you're attractive to. You place more value
on one than the other in hierarchy.
You create a mental hurdle - creates a "get" mentality that women
can sense.
DayGame is not just approaching during the day.

- Approach outside of bars
- Approach in everyday situations, even at night: the mall, grocery
store
- Talking to everyone and being friendly
- The world
People who have options, win.
Why DayGame?

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- Lifestyle first
- The kind of women you want are more likely to be found.
- Increased available choices - The max = The world
“Nightgame”
What kind of women do you meet in bars? The "Brittanies"
- Young
- Drunk
- Different social focus: all about having fun
Is DayGame harder?
The assumption is yes.
- Because you don't know if she's single
- Women are more likely to see through your game.
- Women may be in a hurry, not interested, or think you're a bother.
You have a fear of being found out.
"Outside-In Living"
"Inside-Out Living" - communicating personality from the heart, your
true self and you don't care how others feel about it.
DayGame is easier.
- No alcohol.
- No loud, blasting music.
- Resistance is lowered.
- More lone wolves
- You appear more real - natural
REFRAME: DayGame is Better Because...

- Very little time is required, you're busy
- She might not go to clubs. The women you want in your life, you're
not going to find in clubs.
- Little competition
- Women in bars are not seriously looking
- Women in bars have already se the frame
Once you master DayGame, ALL game is easy.

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Inner Game
This is where outer game comes from.
Fears: Rejection? Missed opportunity? Boyfriend - does she have
one?
DayGame secret fears:

- She doesn't want to talk to a stranger.
- What will she think about you?
Fears amount to a belief that:
- You're up to no ggood.
- You're not worthwhile
- She'll be annoyed with you.
Negative feelings come from toxic shame.

Shame is a feeling that you've done something bad and you feel
guilty.
It starts by placing more value on other people's opinion of us rather
than our own feeling s about ourselves.
DayGame's secret antidote: We are all hungry for connection. We all
want a bigger social network, more friends.
People want to see people succeed. Not fail...

Inner Game Cure: The Lottery Winner Example
Believe that you're giving value. You're not there to get.

It is important to think that you are a gift.
Putting forth negative, anxious energy makes her feel the same and
she'll shut you out.
Waterfall Technique - stacking efforts to be more successful
There is nothing worse than easy success. You learn nothing from it.
Conditioning
All approaches must be fun! This conditions the nervous system.
Each approach must reward you in some way.

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Beware negative rehearsal. Trust your gut.
Be a social connector. Be a hub of social connectivity.
Example: six degrees of separation.
Approach Anxiety
- Talk to everyone
- Be a social connector - "Hub"
- Plan your approaches - stuck up on standard situational openers
Goal: Extend your social circles.
Acclimation training: Spectrum - Progression
Warm-Up
1. Look at people and watch.
2. Talk to clerks - ask for info/shoot to breeze.
3. Say hi with no eye contact.
4. Make momentary eye contact/smile.
5. Say hi with eye contact.
6. Stop and ask questions - the time, directions
7. Stop and make a purposeful mistake - mistaken identity.
8. Stop. Say hello and a "giveaway" compliment.
Where you go from there is all you...
"Big Picture" Strategy

1. Approach - Direct/Indirect
2. Raise interest. Establish trust and rapport - this is not as intense as
attraction.
3. Establish trust and rapport by revealing information. Check in on
her.
Be socially aware/intuitive. Call her on her hesitation - it shows

confidence.
Situational Relevance
- Make the approach fit the situation.
- Be sincere. Show vulnerability.
Examples: " I was going to let you walk away, but then I said, no
way!"
"I don't have a clever pick-up line, I just came over to meet you."

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Inoculation with every approach - gets you to rationalize or justify

your decision.
Examples: "You're not one of those girls, are you?" " I know you get
hit on all day long..." "If I call you, are you going to let me go to
voicemail?" "You're going to remember me, right?"
Big Sign of your Social Savvy

- Don't ignore warning signals of low trust or brush off women.
- Be memorable
- Call her the next day. Don't wait too long.
- Bring her state back up on the phone. show her that you're fun.
Make her remember you.
- Move fast to a second meeting. Men must take leadership - it's your
job.
Tips:
- Get into a martial arts class. Overcome fear of confrontation.
- Warm up: Talk to waitresses, clerks, anyone and everyone.
- Go to places where you're already excited.
- Start with casual energy. Be more cool and laid back.
DayGame is about increasing your social network.

Crush your inner game.
Grab every opportunity to connect.
If you're on the path you want to be on, women will join you.
Q and A
How do you keep your game "on" when life gets crazy... with exams,
deadlines, etc?
Talk about that time of your life... It's a common experience.

Share the burden of the moment. It's real.
Elaborate on how you talk to everyone... Isn't it draining?

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Balance the need to connect but not with everyone.
"You're going to remember me, right?" Doesn't it come from

insecurity?
Not if done with a touch of humor.
It's all how you do it. If you worry about, you have an inner game
issue you haven't resolved.
It's not the line, it's the person.
What's the situation? The framework?

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Challenge/Response: How to handle women’s testing questions.
Why are you asking me this?
This is what women say when your opener is not calibrated to her
reality. In other words, she doesn’t see any relevance in your
question. This is a good signal that you are not present with her.
Some women will say this if they are just in a bad mood, but it
generally indicates poor calibration.
Your best response: Get REAL and admit it. “That did sound kind of
out-of-left-field, huh? I just wanted to find something to talk to you
about. You seemed cute, and I didn’t have anything else to say. Let’s
try this again...”
Go away!
Wow, big time miscalibration here, or you’ve just met the Queen Bitch
of the Universe. If you suspect it’s the latter, smile and run away from
her before she spreads her “bitch” attitude to you and crushes your
self-confidence and frame.
If you think you’ve just annoyed her, you need to dial down your
energy and cockiness on the approach.
Your best response: “Hey, I’m gone. But I just wanted to say hello...”
I'm not that interested...
This is a response a woman will give if she smells a “pickup” or

salesman vibe from you. You should reflect on how you were
approaching and see if maybe you were coming in with too much
bravado.
Your best response: “Well, I realize you’re not buying, and I’m not
selling, but I’m making some new friends today. And you looked
friendly. Aren’t you friendly?”
You know, I gotta get back to my friends...

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This will happen if you just take too long to escalate and close her
and she really does need to get back to them, or if you reach the
point where she’s lost interest.
Your best response: “Hey, I’m sorry to keep you so long. I just blabber
when I’m around a beautiful woman. But I’d like to show you I’ve got
great conversation skills in me... Let’s try this again sometime. Let me
get your number...”
Why don't you give me your phone number instead?
This is a classic way that women avoid giving their number out, and if
the guy goes for it, she immediately classifies him as a low-
confidence “nice guy.”
Your best response: “No way! Do guys still fall for that one? (jokingly)
Look, we both know that you’d never call, and it’s not your job
anyway. I’m the man. Just give me your number and I’ll call your
answering machine ten times, just like in the movie ‘Swingers...’”
I have a boyfriend.
She might. She might not. But you’ve gotten this far, and it’s unlikely
that she’s showing interest by saying this.
Your best response: “That’s cool. I’m not hitting on you, I’m just trying
to make some new friends. I thought you looked friendly... “
Why don't you buy me a drink?
Classic bar line, and I included it here because chances are you’re
still going to bars.
Your best response: Don’t respond to the request. Keep talking about
other things as if you didn’t hear her.
If she brings it up again, she’s a user and a loser. Move on.
So where do you live?

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Describe it in bigger terms. Never answer the “standard” questions
with standard boring answers that just give facts.
Your best response: “Well, that’s interesting... You know how some
people live where they do because they want to be a part of a
neighborhood? I felt like that, too, and I decided to live in the ...
because...”
You basically paint a more complicated and emotional story with your
answer. The more you can get her involved, the more she’ll pay
attention to you. Review the Deep Rapport disc with Lance Mason
where we discuss this technique.
What do you do?
Again, same as before. You paint a more complicated picture. You

don’t just give facts. You present her with an emotional journey.
What kind of car do you drive?
This is another one of those questions to ignore. You just keep talking
about something you are interested in, and note that this is a big red
flag.
(Unless you were just talking about HER car, and your conversation
turned this way. In that case, you do the same presentation of the
reasons why you chose the car that she can related to before you
actually reveal it to her.)
Where are your friends?
This question is usually asked when she wants to see if you’re a

loner. It won’t come up unless you seem awkward or nervous with
being alone and talking to people.
Your best response: “I’m catching up to them a little later.” And

change the subject. Or tease her: “Why, did you want to see if I knew
any cute guys?”

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Did you read that in the "Game"?
Another question that will only come up if she thinks you’re not being
sincere and you’re running a pickup game on her.
Your best response: “Did you read that book? What did you think
about it?”
And tone down the pickup artist vibe. Get real.
So how old are you?
Something that most women will not ask during day game. They will
probably put out some other disqualifier.
Your best response: (And this is one that I use because it’s true to
how I feel) “Age doesn’t concern me. I hang out with people in their
twenties all the way to their forties. Cool people don’t have a number
to hold them down. You know?”
You know, you're too old for me...
Again, unlikely in day game, but it could come up in clubs.
Your best response: “That’s too bad, really. I don’t like to hold myself
down with a number. I have cool friends of all ages. In fact, I’m kind of
worried that you might be too old for me...”
Sometimes I’ll tease: “That’s age-ism! It’s like racism, only with
numbers! You should be ashamed of yourself...”
Either way, age is something you only get defensive about if it’s an
insecurity. If you act young and don’t let it phase you, you won’t hear
this.
Are you a player?
This is a good sign. It means that she’s picking up on some attraction,

and now she wants to clear her conscience.

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Here are some responses (courtesy of Love Systems):
1. "No I'm not. I'm just playful. I come off like a player sometimes, but
I'm actually pretty genuine."
2. "Thank you. I think you're pretty cool yourself. Wait... do you like to
travel?"
3. "Cool. So my friend Dave over there, he was telling me that
[continue into a new subject]..."
4. "Why would you say that?"
5. "Player? I'm not a player, I'm Super Casanova. I have 19 girlfriends
in this bar and another 23 at home."
6. "Yeah, so what do you like about player guys so much?"
1. Bad. Buys into her reality too much.

2. Good. It establishes your control over the conversation and no
reaction.
3. Decent. You have to be really smooth with the transition so it
doesn’t seem like you’re just changing the subject.
4. Bad. Don’t buy into her challenge.
5. Pretty good. Controls the reality, and it’s fun and funny.
6. Decent. This is the one that I like to use because it uses the power
of an NLP presumption.
I'm sorry, but do I know you?
This is when she feels a bit disconnected from you and your opener,
or she’s very guarded.
Your best response: “I was actually in the process of seeing if you

were friendly.” And keep on going with your line of conversation -
staying sensitive to her connection or lack of.
You're not one of those pickup guys, are you?
Wise ass response: “I don’t drive pickups. I have a cool Yugo,

though.”
Your best response: “Have you seen those shows on TV? My friend
tells me they’re really cool...”

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Again, don’t let these challenges put you in a reactive state.
I'm married...
If you didn’t see her ring, shame on you.
If there is no ring, I usually ask her why there isn’t. Then I make a
new friend.
Are you here by yourself?

So are you here alone?
Your best Tease: “No, I’m here with you...”
Or: “I was actually going to ask you the same thing. You seemed kind
of lonely...”
You have a little something on your face...
Sometimes you get an evil chick who loves to do this to see if you’ll
get self-conscious. Pretty rare during the day.
My favorite response: “What, is it a booger? Ketchup? Or did you just

spit some food out on me...”
Do you say that to all the girls?
This is something a woman might say playfully, or if she is sensitive

to bullshit compliments. Hopefully you didn’t give her one of those.
Your best response: “I only say it to the woman I’m talking to right
now, if I’m genuinely interested in her. Yeah. If she’s cool.”
Are you making fun of me?
This is typically a response to a tease or a joke. Never get defensive.
Your best response: “Oh, sweety, are your feelings hurt? Gosh, you’re
such a delicate flower...” I deliver this with a nice and joking tone.

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You know I don't have a phone right now...
Could be true - but more likely an excuse. If you handled things

correctly up to this point, you wouldn’t have it as an excuse.
Your best response: Step back and reassess your connection to her.
Then you can ask again: “So you do have a phone, don’t you? Are
you screening out those other dorky guys?”
I don't have a cell phone...
Same as before. Every woman on the planet has a cell phone these
days. Even starving nine-year-olds in underdeveloped countries have
a mobile.
Your best response: same as before. Step back and get the trust and
connection that will make her WANT to give the number to you. If you
just blast through this and weasel it out of her, she’ll just flake later
on.
I don't want to get into a relationship right now...
This is what she might say when she picks up the sexual interest
from you. It’s the same as a person going to a car dealer and saying
that they aren’t in the market to buy right now.
If given the right offer, everyone buys.
Your best response: “That’s great, because I’m just looking for friends
right now....” Step back and get connection.
I'm not looking to just sleep with somebody...
Wow, if you get this on a daytime approach, you came on way too
strong sexually.
Usually this indicates a trashed approach, but you can still salvage
some learning experience out of it by asking her what gave her the
impression that you wanted to sleep with her.

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Once in a rare while you’ll get this from a woman just because she’s
damaged after a bad breakup.
Where are you from?
Another question where you must give your answer emotional depth.
Your best response: “You know, that’s an interesting story right

there... Have you ever felt like you were living somewhere that you
were just meant to be? I mean, I’ve been looking for a place that
would resonate with my lifestyle and my direction in life, but ...”
And you also have the opportunity to paint in your reasons and your
passions and your ambitions for her.
Mmmmm I don't know if I want to do that...
This is what you might get from a woman who isn’t really feeling a
good level of trust and rapport, and you ask her to do something
she’s not ready for, like go with you to a mini-date.
Step back and re-establish trust. Just say, “That’s cool,” and get back
to connecting and deep rapport.
Again, you should have that rapport before you ask.
Is that some kind of line or something?
This is a classic case of poor calibration. You were too “gamey” for
her. Maybe you’ve been doing too much bar and night game.
Whatever you said came across as insincere, and that is the biggest
problem.
Drop the routines and get REAL fast, or this is lost. I only ever got this
when I wasn’t really being present with her and tuning in to her vibe.
Are you picking up on me?

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Sometimes a woman will say this jokingly. Sometimes it just means
that she’s detecting your sexual interest and she wants to challenge it
so that she doesn’t feel like she’s the one seducing you.
I almost always reply with: “Is that such a bad thing?”
Your best response: Any genuine response that shows you’re okay
with your interest in her, and you’re also not going to push it.
You're funny!
She’s probably being truthful. You’re doing good. Don’t get all “aw,
shucks” with her compliment. Just keep it up without going overboard.
I don't know you!
This is typically something a woman will only say if she is feeling that
you’re going too fast for her. It’s like she’s saying “I don’t know you
that well!”
Get back to establishing rapport with her.
I'm not going home with you!

I'm not going to sleep with you!
Yowza. She picked up on a pickup vibe. Again, it’s just a case of

going too far too fast. Not likely to come up in day game if you handle
it correctly.
You're so mean!
This is a good sign. It’s when she’s attracted and is being teased
enough to be responsive. If this is a first approach, you’re done. Just
get a date set, get her contact info, and boogie.
My typical response: “You love it!”
Okay, so what now?

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A woman says this when she’s still into the conversation, but she
wants to see if you can still lead it.
Your best response: “Let’s go get a coffee...” or lead into a mini-date

of some kind. If she doesn’t have the time, make a date for another
meet-up.
You're weird!
This is chick-speak for “You’re goofy, but I’m enjoying this.” As long as
it’s delivered with a smile and not too serious an expression.
My typical response: “Weird is the new cool, babe...”
Your best response: “I think you like weird. It’s fun and different.”
You know, I can't believe I'm doing this...
Classic example of a woman justifying her actions to herself so that

she doesn’t have to feel responsible for them.
Be aware that in DayGame this isn’t a likely situation unless she’s

very close to feeling the trust she needs to do whatever it is she’s
doing with you. If that’s going to get a coffee with you, she’s just along
for the ride.
Your best response: “That’s what I like about being spontaneous, you
know? You just do what you want and enjoy life as it comes instead of
planning everything out...”
I don't think so...
This is what you hear when you’ve made a request and haven’t come
close to establishing the trust to cash it.
This is a big calibration issue that you should watch out for. You might
look at how well you’ve been present with her and if you’ve been
ignoring her state while you were up in your head.
Your best response: Don’t argue the point or even a acknowledge it.

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Just get right back to talking about her and re-connecting.
Are you like this all the time?
Most of the time this is what I hear from women who feel that the
man’s state is too playful and energetic for her. She’s intrigued, but
she’s not in rapport, either. He’s left her behind.
Your best response: “I can be a bit of a goofball sometimes. Now are

you so serious all the time?”
I'm not sure if you're my type...
There’s some qualification she’s made about you that you’re not
passing. Some attractive women will say this to push guys away,
because it’s not something you hear from most women.
My favorite response: “What is your type?” And I’m genuinely curious

so that I can find out what she’s thinking and what her experience of
men is.
So?
Clear case of not having any rapport with her. She’s pushing you
away with a bitchy exterior.
Go right back to square one and get her emotionally involved in your
conversation. You lost her at “hello.”
Are you kidding me?
This is a response you typically get when she isn’t able to read your
humor - or sarcasm. There are other ways she will look at you that
say the same thing.
Be careful to not let your humor or conversation get too “brainy” or

sarcastic at first that she has trouble following you. Stay calibrated...

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Your best response: “Wow, that one fell flat, huh? Okay, let me try
again...”
You're such a goofball...
This is like: “You’re weird!” and “You’re funny!”
She’s telling you right away that she’s into you. Women love it.
Instead of continuing down this track, make sure you now get to work
on solid rapport with her. Then close.
Your best response: “Yeah, I think you’re cool, too...”
I don't give out my number...
This is a blatant block. And an indicator that you haven’t achieved any
level of rapport with her.
Tsk tsk.
Get back to connecting, if possible.
There are clever replies for this, but even if they work, they usually
don’t work to forge a solid connection. The number or date you get
will be shaky. REALLY shaky.
Your best response: (Think to yourself, not spoken): “Yes, you do, if
you’re into the guy. You absolutely DO give out your number. But I
haven’t done a good job of proving I’m that guy, so let’s step back a
bit...”
Yeah my number... 555-1212
This is where she gives you a number that you sense is bogus.
By now you know that problems like this don’t happen if you take the
time to learn the correct steps to connect with her.

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Your best response: “I better not write that down yet...” and go right
back to fixing that connection and making it SOLID.
I gotta get going...
Time’s up...
What are you going to do next?
Is she leaving before you’ve finished the job?
See if you can get her to come back... or just close it right here. This
is your opportunity to just “taffy” the moment out a bit and see if you
can keep her attention for just a little bit longer...
Remember that these responses allow you to play with your own
anxiety and just have fun improvising. THAT is the true value of the
simulator - to give you the space to try out crap and see how it feels.
When you can shed that nervous self-consciousness about your

responses, you’ll be well on the path to understanding just how true it
is that it doesn’t matter what you say - as long as you say it with
belief, conviction, and confidence.

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AUDIO DISC 1
Introduction:
_______________________
Simplest strategies to approach women.
Tools to the end all, be all - all the tools necessary are in this
program.
This is the last approach program - Everything that needs to be said

has been said.
There are many common threads between Carlosʼ message and

guests featured on the program.
Modeling - watching others' behavior and adopting them as your

own.
Not just the techniques but the mindset.
We will cover:
Mindset before...
The approach...
Overcoming approach anxiety
How to use the program

Watch DVD with the DayGame Seminar
Complete the 5-Day Fast Start Online Program/ Approach Academy
Listen to the audio discs
Use the exercise disc and focus disc
Listen to the instructors featured on the "Master Class" discs
REFER TO THE INSTRUCTIONS AT THE START OF THIS BOOK
Inner game, how to prepare for the approaching, how to execute the
approach, and what to do after.

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Understand the differential - The Gap
- You have your own self image and the image of the person you
think you need to be to attract women.
- Merge the two.
- Approaching women is not something you do, it's something you
are.
- Change your core identity - to not be the guy who thinks that he's
not an approacher of women.
- Change your mentality - it's who you are, it's not what you do.
Example: Tiger Woods and his identity as a golfer.

Golfing is who he is and is what he does.
You are not a guy who approaches women.
You are a man who is an approacher of women. There is no

difference between the two. They are one and the same.
Vital thinking: You approach EVERYBODY. EVERYWHERE.

ANYTIME.
Opportunity is there for you. You choose when.
Itʼs under your control.
The program includes the 3-Step Anxiety Destroyer. (See your Bonus
content on the DVD-ROM portion of the DVDs. Put the DVDs in a
computerʼs DVD ROM drive and look for the folders on the disc.
This technique will completely get rid of approach anxiety.

You must consistently use it until your identity grabs hold.
Passion/Vision/Purpose
______________________
Important component to your conversations with women - Passion.

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Concept clarification: Passion - What is it?
Passion is associated with a great life purpose.
Example: Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln
People who see others having passionate lives...

Those living with passion don't realize they do the things they do and
how they do it. Things fell in line for them to accomplish what they
wanted to accomplish.
Every person has the ability to "tap" into this fuel source - passion.
Passion: Fuel - you're drive and motivation.
Vision: The thing that you're looking for that's going to bring passion.
Where you see yourself being - a spiritual moment, something in your
mind's eye that trigers a spark... a "wouldn't that be cool" moment.
Purpose: The immediate reason for doing something. (You can have
purpose without vision and passion.)
Example: Guitar playing
Purpose and Passion

- Going after women and approaching is not a passion
- Give value, give back to the world through the process of
approaching women
Vision, passion, and purpose connect to become the driving force in

your life.
Bringing up any of these when approaching will add so much to them.

It will be easier to talk to women and they will respond to you.
Day in the Life of an Alpha Approacher - “Dan”

______________________
Where and how he uses the opportunities to approach
Approaching is only a facet of your life habits.

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Implement good habits every 30 days.
You only have enough energy to implement a new habit - not to grit
your teeth and force it.
If you try to bulldog through certain life experiences, you will not be
successful.
Observe. Do the other behaviors that help.
Danʼs Day in the Life of an Alpha Man Approacher...
Dan wakes up and hits the old alarm button and, he lays there for a
second in bed.
He starts out with a very quick visualization starts thinking, "Okay,

today's another day - another opportunity to get the things in life I
want. I want to be thinking of these things now so I have a day that
works my way. So, what should I be doing?
What should I get done today that I didn't get done yesterday?"
He really takes his time to settle his brain, not to just jump into routine
right off the bat, but to focus on what it is he wants to accomplish -
where he's going to go with the day. What is he going to do today
that's really going to for him.
Takes a few seconds to think ahead.
Then gets on to his morning meditation. He gets out of bed, sits down
in front of his table, where he's got a book on meditation, and a little
statuette of some kind.*
*You don't really need this. You can do meditation anywhere.
Dan sits in front of his table, closes his eyes, and practices breathing,
very deep - low into his stomach...

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Gets in touch with the ability to control his own thinking and his own
mind.
He then goes into a quick visualization of how he wants his day to go

and what he wants to be thinking when he comes back to this point at
the end of the day and reflects on it.
Then, he goes through his rituals - goes to the kitchen and grabs
himself a vitamin, a shot of a special fruit drink, and a protein shake.
He goes out and gets a little bit of exercise, not too heavy duty just
something to get the heart pumping and the blood going - for about
20 to 30 minutes. Gets him moving - push ups, sit ups
Takes a quick shower. Quick check of grooming

Gets dressed.
Eats a good breakfast
Goes online - for just a few minutes as he's getting himself ready to
go to work.
Does a little bit of opportunity hunting, looking for happenings in his

area to use to get out and meeting people - anything that looks like
an opportunity he makes a note of.
Scans his activities calendar - what's going on today, for the next few
days. So he knows where he sits in the week and what things he
ought to be planning for so he doesn't miss any appointments or a
date.
Scans the news headlines to see what's going on in the world and to
find some good thing s to comment about to create good
conversation - provides good openers for conversations with women.
Finally, email. It's last. It's the one thing that seems urgent but never
is.

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Handles a few personal emails, cleans out the spam folder, and then
goes about his day...
As he's leaving the house, he walks by the refrigerator and to see

what his monthly goal is - his current focus for the month, what he's
trying to achieve for his success habit. Below it is his reason, his
outcome of why he's doing this particular habit.
His focus - to use three different ways to meet women and at least
one date per week. His goal three months ago - to say hi to as any
people as possible.
Building on previous successes, to get more contact with other

people especially women.
Goes out the door, sees his neighbor and says something to her in
the hallway.
She's a good ally, and, on the nights he can't make it home, she
helps to tend to his dog. He's got a good strong social network in his
own neighborhood.
He takes the bus or some other form of public transportation - it

affords him the opportunity to talk to people while he's waiting. Takes
the opportunity for some "warm up" good mornings - socially
lubricated.
He stops in at his local coffee shop before he gets into the office and
gets his morning coffee. Looks for opportunity - women he hasn't
seen there before.
Says hello to the barista and other employees.
Gets to work.
Mid-morning break and uses this time to get out and visit other parts
of the building of where he works. There are other offices in the
building - he knows that he can meet new people.

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Talks to his female co-workers and tries to fix them up with his
friends. This gets him in good with them and makes it very likely that
they will reciprocate sometime in the future.
During his breaks, he checks on his Match.com profile, tweak it a

little, and makes it a point to send out a few introductory emails. He
also uses these breaks to go out and get a little sunshine, meditates
and clears his head. Or people watches.
Lunchtime rolls around, Dan knows the best thing to do is not stick
around the building but to go out and expose himself to some
opportunities.
Heads to the bookstore during his lunch, or one his other many
haunts - opportunities to meet people and be social.
He changes the venues and the people to go with to.
If he goes to the same places and/ or with the same people, he gets
stuck in the same routines.
Sometimes goes alone, too.
Once a week, he calls a family member - to reconnect. And also calls

a old friend one day each week.
After work, he heads over to the bar to see what's going on there.
On the way, he grabs a local events paper to see what else is
happening for events in the area.
Every month he makes it a point to catch at least one concert with

friends.
Uses this opportunity to check on his Saturday night fallback routine

for his possible dates - setting up a poker game on either the Friday
or Saturday which will then happen on the night that he doesn't have
anything going on.

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So, what he's doing is giving himself alternatives, so he doesn't feel
desperate to fill spaces in his calendar.
After work, Dan gets home, takes his dog for a walk and watches for
some of the local foot traffic in his neighborhood. He actually stops
one woman who happens to have a dog - the dogs have gotten
tangled up in each other's leashes. Socializes - talks about the breed
of her dog. She's nice but not his type - still gets her email for
the sake of increasing his network and staying in practice.
He goes back inside and calls some of the latest phone numbers that
he's gotten and he sets up a date for Saturday night. Now he knows
to push poker night to Friday night. He's got a good full weekend
ahead.
After setting he's plans for the weekend, he uses that positive energy
- uses the motivation to send out more Match.com intro emails out,
calls another woman, sets another date. He uses this energy and
rolls with it - an important success habit.
And, before it gets to late, he goes into the martial arts studio and
trains a little bit.
He talks to several people and with woman he actually pushes

his game to the next level - not just by asking for her phone number
but actually asks for the date. Sets up the next time for when they'll
meet.
He's done with his workout, gets home and has something to eat.
Watches a movie he got from Netflix. And, as he's watching it, he's
noticing areas where men are portrayed as the losers.
As he's watching, a survey chick comes to his door and asks for a
donation for a group that's trying to prevent global warming. Dan
already has his favorite charities that he gives to so he politely says
no but he keeps a good conversation going with her and he tries out
his rapport building techniques. After all, this is a gimme - she
approached him.

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Then, a little bit later he reads for a half an hour - a little bit of
inspirational reading and a little bit of recreational reading.
Sends out a few "ping" texts to bridge a few of the women he knows
to keep him in their consciousness and awareness - a playful tease to
each one of them. One of them responds but he doesn't make it a
point to respond to her. He knows that if he leaves her hanging she'll
be thinking about him for a while.
And then, he goes back and attends to his social list - he notices
there's been one woman that he's been holding back on for a while.
Calls back Mary Ann and let's her know that while he really does
enjoy her company and the date they had last week, he only really
thinks of her as a friend and they probably won't want to do any more
dates. But, if she wants to do something social, that's always great
with him.
He doesn't do it to hurt her feelings - he does this in a very soft and

gentle way, and what it really does is communicate to his
subconsciousness mind that he is in fact valuable enough and has
his own qualifications and criteria for the women in his life.
There you go, from start to finish, an example of an approacher's

day...
He's not forcing this all in his day - it's a matter of habits and rituals
he's put in.
And, these habits support him and his 30-day effort.
There's a few things he's doing consistently (and you should, too.)
-Scanning for opportunity - always look for the opportunity. Even if

you don't seize every one of them you got to start seeing it - how
much opportunity there is to get rid of your scarcity mindset. Truly
seeing the abundance of women you could be approaching.

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- Works on 30-day success habits everyday. you have a limited
amount of energy to be able to accomplish things in your life and you
want to spend that energy on the most effective and efficient use
which is to create success habits that support you and give you the
lifestyle that you want.
- Positive reinforcement. Throughout the day, reinforces the things

that he's doing with positive mental messages. He rewards himself
when he does something good like when he accomplishes one of his
goals or even works on one of his goals.
Becomes an addictive process.
- People watching - how they interact. and, this is how you develop a
finer social acuity. It's something you should be doing all the time.
- He's also looking for reasons to disqualify women - not reasons to

qualified by them. Also on the alert for any thing that would
disqualify them so that he can cut these women out of the way as
quickly as possible. The ones that are not for him, he shouldn't be
keeping in his life and wasting his time on. You have a limited
amount of time to use for the best things for you so you better be
very indiscriminate about how you approach this particular area of
your life.
Core Concepts
_____________________
Once your confidence is in place, you can use every single strategy
and be successful with it.
Strategies - the use of routines and canned, rehearsed scripts.

the best thing you can do for yourself is to not get into the game of
memorization of someone else's scripts, stories, lines...
Here's why - every conversation is a fluid event. You can use a

memorized opener but once you get past that, everything changes.

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you don't know what her response is going to be and you have to
come up with a response to her response. That's the important part of
the approach - not what you say to start the conversation but what
you say to what she says to what you said to start the conversation.
Example: You can open with... "Who lies more men or women?"
And, she can say, "Who cares?" What do you say to that?
If you're like most guys out there, you won't really have a good
response to that.
Do you care enough?
When a woman does that to you, now you're shut down and that's
where inner game takes over. Is your reality strong enough to handle
calling you on that?
You need to come from a very strong reality to handle her and her
response.
Your reality is better than hers.
Inner game - you don't trust enough in your own reality, your own
experiences.
You want this woman so bad, you think you need her to be added into
your collection of life experiences - when really, it's the other way
around.
The only important thing to have is some ammunition - a bandolier, a

string of bullets. Have a few things in your bandolier but you don't
want to rely on them.
They're there to give you a sense of comfort. If anything comes up, a

pause - you'll have something to throw out. Something random or ad-
libbed is fine, too.

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The best game comes from when you're able to make it up on the
spot - improvise.
The best success comes from not memorizing but to get to that point
you need to memorize. Training wheels - a certain amount of
memorization thrown into the game.
Have you ever seen a person flub a line? Actors in a movie...? Acting
and women can sense the actor in you. You can tell when you see a
bad actor.
Extreme acting vs. Extreme verisimilitude
Other peoples' lines and stories are there to help you - the structure
is the most important part because it gives you the comfort to pull off
the improvisational elements/ ad-libbing.
Only memorize the things you need until you realize why you don't
need to memorize stuff and then stop using it.
One important use for memorization - to give you a sense of comfort

and confidence so when you walk up to a situation with a woman,
you're not going to feel like you're drawing a blank.
The opener is fine to memorize BUT you must be able to deliver the
opener with absolute confidence and congruity.
Okay to have some memorized material but don't rely on it too much
or you'll fall into actor territory.
Emotional Overestimation
____________________
The habit all human beings have, which is to tend to add a little more
meaning which have more emotional attachment to us.
Ever see someone make a big deal out of something where you
wonder what the big deal is? Example: Someone parking too close to
a man's car.

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Your perspective allows you to see the other side of the emotion but
it's not letting you see his emotion. The reason the other person is so
emotionally engaged is because it's his car - he doesn't want
someone possibly "dinging" his car.
The same is true for the things in our lives - attaching too much
emotional meaning to things that don't really have that much
meaning, and, we attach a lot of emotional meaning to things that are
ours, like things going on in our lives.
More important than others - selfishness. Helps keep us on this

planet.
Recognize that emotional overestimation cripples you - you are

closed in by how you view things. You are in the process of attaching
a lot more emotional meaning to things than really need be when it
comes to approaching women especially the results.
It seems like the end of the world if a woman is not into the approach
- rejection. It would kill some guys to have that happen - cause pain.
Until you resolve some of the inner game dilemma, it's going to be
difficult to get past that fear.
She is only one in a hundred women who could do this to you - the
possibility that she could say “NO” ruins the other 99 women for you.
Approach anxiety = Emotional overestimation = Distortion of reality
Example: Something every guy does -> What does he think of a

beautiful woman?
Think she is pure, angelic, desirable. Do anything to have her.

Immediately overestimate her value based on her looks. Her
appearance is the least important thing in the long run.
Old saying: "You show me the most beautiful woman on the planet,
and I'll show you a guy who's tired of sleeping with her."

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Men do tire of women - need to know what's also going on in the
inside.
Men spend the least amount of time screening and qualifying for this.
Men spend too much time overestimating women for the value of
their beauty.
Beauty triggers an emotional need of desire and longing - causing

him to contribute too much value than she actually commands.
Example: Beautiful car with no performance value -a lemon. Would

you want it?
You should have the same rationalization with women.

Watch out for the effect of emotional overestimation - mind tricking
you to put more value to your emotions.
Remove emotions from the picture. Get back to rational thinking.

Rely on a clear perception of reality = Awareness
The ability to see something without the distorting filters of your own
thinking.
Indifference/ Aloofness Attitude

______________________
Guys understand but do not employ it properly
Playing hard to get does work - men and women
Men feels the challenge and goes after her.
When a guy gets harder to get for a woman and she's already
interested - this works for him.

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Attitude - if you are genuinely needing a woman (want is okay, a
certain level of desire is good) but you must find a way to separate
the two.
The want is so great that he let's the woman in his life no matter what
- access to his finances, car, family...
Need screening process = Qualification
Keeps you safe from the effects of obsession and "one-itis"
Create and make sure you have other interests in your life that you
can apply the energy to.
Everyone that comes into my life: Is she going to be someone I want

to be spending my time with? Is she going to be more interesting to
spend time with than playing my guitar? More interesting and cool
than playing with my dog? More cool than practicing my martial arts?
Compare for a frame of reference - her vs. the rest of his passions.
Create comparison - keep searching. Employ the search for passions

now.
Maintain aloofness by having other things going on in your life.

If you don't, the only thing you have to fill your life are women and
that is dangerous.
Next concept to understand: Trust is transferrable. Trust and

credibility can be borrowed.
Best shortcut to rapport.
Get trust from other sources - borrow from the environment, your
friends, etc.
Don't sit there and try to build it up from scratch with every single
woman you meet.

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Pre-proven identity - you're ability to walk up into any environment
and demonstrate that you have connections, a network.
You have a belonging - you have a place there.
Easily done through social proof
Example:Do you know the staff at the bar - the bouncers, the
bartenders, the DJ?
If not, spend a couple of visits there getting the knowledge and the
associations.
Names, schedules, and the like - connect and establish rapport.

Your new knowledge will pay off with women in the future.
Bars are different but social proof is still applicable for DayGame.
Be familiar with your environment - your regular places and you know
the people there like places you shop at.
One lends credibility to the other. Can be borrowed from anyone,

anywhere.
Example: a good wingman
Skill to becoming a proven asset: Get yourself in environments and

establish connections within them. Can be bars, clubs, speed dating
events.
Example: Speed dating event
Look for commonality to build trust but build it immediately by

demonstrating it through your knowledge of the people in your
environment.

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Q and A
___________________
Who should I approach?
The most approachable woman in range to you.
Basically, any woman in distance of you to go over and talk to her.
Do it as fast as you can.
Make sure she looks approachable. If she looks like a bitch, or in a

bad mood, don't sabotage your success by approaching her.
Positive mental momentum.
Who should I go with? Do I need a wingman?
Only if you need motivation or a buddy.
If it is someone who is just going to drag you down - are not in the
same mindset as you, leave them behind.
Being a lone wolf is acceptable and is probably the best way to go out
and approach.
What is the most important thing to do in an approach?
One thing that most guys never do - relax.

You won't be caught up in the moment. Things will flow.
When is the best time to be approaching women?
Let's see...
Option A - when you don't have a girlfriend and you''re looking for one
Option B - when you are in a relationship
Option C - when you feel like it

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The best time is... when you already have a girlfriend - because
you're setting a habit. If you only do it when you're not in a
relationship, what do you communicate?
Desperation, need, desire. When you do it when you're already in a

relationship, you communicate the right things and you'll have a
comfortable vibe. And you're communicating to your nervous system
that whatever relationship your in, you can always get another one if
you had to.
What's the first thing to say to a woman?
Whatever is on your mind.
Men disqualify what they're thinking - that it's the worst thing.
Men feel the need to be clever.
Make it relevant to the situation or her.
What should my body language be?
Stand, back straight and chest out

Head high
Bright eyes, hint of a smile
Feel loose and relaxed
Breathe deeply
What should I be thinking?

You should not be thinking.
See and recognize opportunity when they come and figure out how to
give.
Where do I approach?
Everywhere.
But, don't pressure yourself to think that you must do it everywhere.
Start see the opportunities and seizing them.
Start with the easiest.
Where should I go?

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Bookstores, coffee shops, art shows, the grocery store, parties,
parks, malls - anywhere you see women.
Better question - where shouldn't you go? Your living room. So, go
get out there.
Augment DayGame with online dating, speed dating. you want to

have multiple streams of female income.
When should I go out?
Start with once a week - the bare minimum.

Or whenever you have the opportunity.
Why is DayGame harder than night game?
It isn't - it's a misperception created by your beliefs.

DayGame is actually easier.
Need to get past your own internal sticking points of fear
Why is DayGame so important?
A. iI is a common habit of successful Alpha men. They are never in a

"I'm not approaching" mindset. They are always ready to jump into a
set and chat up people.
B. You're not going to meet your ideal mate in a bar or club.

You're more likely to meet a quality woman during the day - in
everyday life.
How can I get the fastest results?
By using the things taught in this program as soon as you learn it.
You'll learn the easiest step for you as you go along and will be
different for everybody.

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If you're doing the minimum you can do and you have no problem
doing it - that is your point of mastery. You move on from that step...
How do I...?
Hang on. There's a lot of stuff to cover and will discussed in the
program...

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AUDIO DISC 2
Warning!
_____________________
Be aware. Beware your mind's tricks.
Remember, your mind is going to do everything it can to trick you and

stop you from violating your comfort zone.
You're going to come up against a barrier - wondering if you should
do that.
You're mind will slip in with the "loser boy" voice. The voice will say
that it's probably not a good idea to go up and start approaching
women. It will say, "Let's wait ʻtil later. Let's go back home, play a few
games, and have some fun relaxing. You don't want to be stressed
out approaching women. It's easier this way."
"Loser Boy" has a way of sneaking into your thoughts and sabotaging
your best intentions.
Let your mind play its tricks, but be aware of them. Know them and
recognize them when they come up.
Smile at them when they arise and just keep doing. Or... you can go
along with it.
Deep inside you know you're copping out.
Don't do it.
Mind Games
_____________________
Your life is one giant mind game.

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Critical part of your understanding - the whole way that the universe
works around you.
You have a self perpetuating, self justifying reality.
You're thinking controls how you experience life. You unconsciously

let your thinking go in a direction that makes you:
- Comfortable
- Maintains the self image that you want to have yourself. In other
words, if you're not really the person you think you are that's a big
challenge to your reality.
We start to think things that are not true to make ourselves feel
comfortable and just make it through the day. Our psychology is set
up this way - until we can grasp how much you're telling yourself lies
and deceiving yourself, denying yourself of beliefs and realities -
you're never going break free of them and to get the success you
truly can achieve. You'll have little successes and your beliefs will
crumble a little.
Your identity is created and manufactured by your own self

perception and you will do anything to guard and protect it.
The purpose of this program is not to challenge your reality that

much. But, you must understand that most of the things you think
about in regards to women and approaching and talking to women
are simply not true.
Myths:
- Guys have to be rich.
They do get attention, from the "gold diggers".
And women who aren't, know that money will not satisfy them in the
long run.
Women have two strategies:

1. The provider. She will find the guy that can provide for her and
keep her alive

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and her potential offspring alive. But that's not immediately attractive
to her.
When you approach her, you have to come from the other strategy.
2. The lover. The man who provides good quality genes but excites
and sexually arouses in a way that ensures she's going to have
genetic success.
- Guys have to be good looking. It's not important - it's just a bit of eye
candy.
Looks don't engage the deeper part of her mind.
It's a quick ticket into interest but not arousal or full engagement.
Women are not getting the kind of attraction with men that they used
to on a very primal, masculine level.
This is a sociological problem most men have - cannot create the

kind of attraction women truly want.
Guys think looks are necessary because guys are attracted to looks.
Guys are the ones who make the faulty perception and project it onto
women.
Mind games are pervasive. Understand it's your job to make your
mind games work for you.
Giving you mind games to play in the right way.
Manipulating yourself - do it for the right reason, thinking the right

way.
Mind games you're playing right now
Example: Gasoline and your need for it.

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To reconcile ourselves from these mind games, we close ourselves
off from dealing with them.
Play mind games that will make you a winner and get you the results
you want.
Value
____________________
Value is the ultimate establishment of your worth.
The one thing that makes you attractive is your value to other people.
We've done this all our lives - try to be of value to someone out there
like when you're trying to get a job.
Reality is - we actually have to provide more value than we appear or

feel to get back in return. This concept is very important to
understand.
Mentor - most guys have this whim, the turn a dollar into a million
dollars whim.
You'll be a millionaire.
Don't realize that they're really that they're not giving value.
Reality of value - in order to get what it is you want in life, you have to
give enough to the other people in your world what it is they want.
And, more so that they're happy to give back to you.
"Instead of asking for one dollar for free (giving no value), why not
give them a $100 of value and ask them for $10 in return?"
They will be more likely to agree and give you that $10.
Apply the same mentality when interacting with women.
Give them more value than you are taking from the interaction.

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You are giver - meant to get into the interaction, giving women large
amounts of value. Value is the ultimate state of your attractiveness.
You must be valuable to her in some way, to keep you around.

Value is everything to the woman, to you, and what you want to
create in terms if the relationship you want.
The 4 Indicators of Value
Where should you take a woman out for a date?

Guys ask this frequently because they do not understand the concept
of value to a woman.
Taking a woman on just a date is not the best way to create

attraction.
Better to understand how to inject attraction into the approach.
The reality is guys have sold a bogus product - buying her flowers,
taking her to dinner... Doesn't work and here's why. When you start
with the "let me buy you something" frame at the start, you've created
the worst starting point for a relationship. You communicate that
you're not good enough for you, so I'm going to resort to bribery to
sneak past your radar and get you to think that I've got real
value to offer.
Example: The kid who tried to buy his way into being your friend
Worse for a woman to sense this in a guy.
Why do men still do this? It is the option that takes the least amount
of thinking and effort on the guy's part. The lazy man's method.
Occasionally works, but not in the way you think it does.

Women spend a lot of time fantasizing about their ideal man and
what kind of relationship she'll have, thanks to the Disney
programming she grew up with.

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High quality women who are attractive on all levels do not lack for
attention.
They see this "buy her..." approach all the time - it's the needy guy. It
always runs out of gas, when she's wondering if you've got it - if
you're going to be a man and show her a good time. That's what she
really wants.
Women see this needy guy and will use the "let's just be friends" to
end.
Because she wants to know if you can make her feel good.
First component of value:

- Show her fun which is happiness, excitement, adventure
Will you be able to take the lead? Create interesting experiences and
adventures for the two of you? Women don't want gifts. They want
experiences - be swept away in an exciting storyline.
Don't go on dates. They are preprogrammed behaviors.
Alpha Men don't get lucky and they don't play the game to get lucky.
It's not about probability. It's about action and result.
If you have the right system, it will be predictable.
Communicate fun - something that will leave her so thrilled she'll tell
all her friends about this incredible guy she just met.
Reverse engineer her excitement.
Think about what you want to achieve and work backwards figuring
out how to do it.
Second component of value:

Provider ability. Important to show the capability - ambition, internal
drive, working toward achieving something in your life.

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Your ability to provide security - by showing confidence. The ability to
make her world safe, her safe.
Show this not through gifts, money, feeding her but showing her you
can be the person that provides safety.
Third component of value:

Sexual energy. Fulfill her physically. Give her physical sensations of
love and excitement.
Fourth component of value:

Emotional connection - the sense of the two of you getting along,
compatible, alike.
A bond that only the two of you share. Uniqueness is also valued.
Cherishing a woman comes into play. She feels you are emotionally
connected to her and you believe she has value.
The only factor(s) you need to show when first approaching is/are
fun, sexual energy - spark of chemistry, and connection.
When approaching during the day, think about how you view
connection - can go deep in rapport but don't need to be bonded for
life that first time. Give only enough that has her thinking about
reconnecting with you at a later date - give her unique connection.
Value is everything. The only reason a woman wants you or feels

attracted to you is because you add value to her in some way.
Managing Inner Game

_____________________
Reframing - concept in NLP. Where an undesirable behavior or trait is

conferred a positive intention
A person's intention in performing an action - specific purpose in

doing it or the goal they are trying to accomplish.

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Whether or not the action is successful or not, depends on if the
intended result was brought about. We need to get the result in order
to feel like we were successful. That is positive intent.
Guys approaching - want the positive result of getting a number or

some kind of connection.
All human action fulfills a positive intent at some level. We only do

things to satisfy ourselves. Even when it seems negative, we're
always doing something in order to satisfy this need for a positive
intent.
To believe we're doing good or accomplishing something for

ourselves.
The problem is that most people think in terms of negative intent -

think of things in terms that they want to avoid.
Your mind can't grasp the concept - tell yourself to not think about a
pink elephant and what does your mind do? It thinks about the pink
elephant.
Your mind does not understand how to not do something.
It only understands how to do something and sets itself for conflict

when you tell it otherwise.
This is why it's difficult for people.
Examples: Smoking and quitting. Creating more focus on the

smoking.
Taking a certain job, employment opportunity.
Reframing works to create alternatives to satisfy this positive intent.
6 Step Reframe
1. Identify behavior to change.
2. Set up signals - to know that the behavior is occurring

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3. Identify positive intention behind the behavior.
4. Generate a number of possible alternative behaviors behaviors
that will allow you to satisfy the same intent.
5. Choose favored 3 replacement behaviors.
6. Check in to see if there are other internal conflicts. There might be
something else going on inside you.
You don't even need to use all six steps to reframe.
Reframing: Approach Anxiety

Any reluctance, resistance going on inside you that stopping you from
going up and talking to a woman.
Too general - there are many specific things going on beneath it.
Why? What's stopping you from approaching?
It's different things for different guys - shame, rejection, poor social
skills.
How to make it positive? What's the message?
All emotions are signals to you, indicators - telling you something

about the situation you're in. Something important needs to be paid
attention to.
With approach anxiety, it's telling you that you have a reluctance built
up.
But the anxiety is also something you become fixated on.
"How do I get rid of it? Stop it?" Making it a negative, again.

Something you can't stop - it keeps coming up until you know why it
does.
Whatever you're thinking creates the emotion.

Things can happen so fast that you don't realize when you act with
emotion.

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If a woman says anything to you, right away you can feel depressed,
excited, angry. You jump to an emotion based on internal
programming.
Energy that's unfamiliar to you that you haven't yet conquered.

When paying attention to the negative terms, you give them more
power.
Sensation you can use - Approach Excitement
Woman's beauty and femininity has overloaded your circuits she's

giving you a gift of letting you feel the full force of your masculinity.
When you change the emotion of something meaningful, you bypass

all the BS and cut to the chase - the essence of your problem.
Excitement is healthy and good.
Reframe is a well and good but still can't go over and talk to women.
Still need something I can do...

Mental anguish for guys who feel this "excitement".
If not taken care of - inner game, all the techniques and the lines you
have will still not be enough to get you to approach. Guys memorize
all kinds of material and still can't use it because it was never their
material.
Material covers up, like makeup, the fact that you're not comfortable
with yourself.
You need the self confidence to go along with the tools you have.
Reframe: Anxiety is Excitement. I'm emotionally engaged.

Channel the excitement in to positive emotional energy.

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Reframing: Fear of Rejection
Rejection - verb meaning to dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or
not to one's taste. Rejection doesn't really exist in the physical world -
only an opinion.
The way somebody feels - not tangible. When it's not tangible, it's not
the same reality that everyone else deals in.
People's perception is their reality but only to the degree that you
allow them to.
Example: If someone doesn't like me, that's tough because I don't

allow their reality to impact me.
Rejection for you is an un-possibility.
Impossible are thing s that could happen but are very unlikely.
Un-possibilty is something that we conceive in our heads that doesn't
even exist but believe can actually happen to us. Rejection is one of
those things.
We create rejection - it's a psychological concept not a physical

reality.
No one can really reject you. It's their decision for themselves. It says
nothing of the real value of you.
Reframe: Indication of a flaw in a person's ability to decide your

value. They don't know enough about you, can't know enough about
you because if they knew you well enough they wouldn't reject you.
Women do not have the power to reject you because she doesn't
enough to do so.
Don't give the ability to reject over to people who don't even know
you.

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So, if a woman rejects you, she's not rejecting you - she's saying her
ability to make a decision about you is flawed, impaired, inadequate
to handle the task at hand.
If you let her behavior affect you, then you've created the ultimate
feedback cycle.
Where your boundaries have been destroyed and you've merged with
her because her opinion is an actual impact on your life and how you
feel.
Fear of rejection is a rational fear that other's will not accept you for
who you are,what you believe, and how you act.
Pervasive motivator for caution
State of mind
State of being
Driving force behind people that keep them from being real human
beings.
Driven by the need of acceptance by others they lose their own

identities trying to be the people they think others want them to be.
It is the act of giving to people more power than you give to yourself.
You could miss the "one" over this thought - too afraid for fear of
being rejected.
Didn't take the chances and opportunities that can change your life...
Only you have the power to reject things that go on with you and your
life.
The 8 Symptoms of Fear of Rejection

- Display little to no assertiveness - don't speak up for themselves.
- Function as enablers
- Lack courage
- Resort to passive aggressive behavior
- Play mind games.

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- Display a great deal of anger or depression - victim behaviors and
beliefs
- Confused about their true identities - wear masks to hide from
others
- Dishonest with themselves that it carries over to their interactions
with others
You need to feel a knee-jerk reaction to this - to rid yourself of this.

Fight against the pain to get around it.
Practice:
Identify person or persons from whom you fear rejection - beautiful
woman.
Identify how your fear of rejection is displayed - how do act

differently?
Identify a healthy productive, rational behavior - what are the

consequences?
Turn it a round to make it more real for yourself.

Identify the consequences of using the alternative behavior patterns?
Example: Compliments
Define why yo feel certain ways to make concrete, cognitive choices

about what your fears of approach are really about - they're really not
that bad.
Reframing: Fear of Failure

_____________________
Closely related to fear of criticism and rejection

Successful people overcome their fears as quickly as possible.
"Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people."

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The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people
is that the successful person is doing what the unsuccessful person
won't.
Law of feedback - from NLP. States this: There is no such thing as

failure - it's another un-possibility. Doesn't exist - there is only
feedback. Information that adjusts your course and puts you back on
track.
Examples: Airplanes
Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results not as

failure or judgements on themselves.
Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as being permanent and a

personal judgement of their ability.
How to avoid this:

Get to the mindset where you don't believe that failure is an option
- be bold. Be decisive. Take action
- the fear of failure is okay but you have to be able to get past it and
do what you fear anyway
- persist. Don't give up. Try different things until you get the results
you want.
- don't take failure as a personal judgement.
Failure is not a personality trait - not inherited, not genetic.

Simply put, it's a mistake or an error or an outcome that you didn't
want.
Learn to do something different to get to the goal you have.
All of our fears boil down to the fear of dying a lonely death.
The things you imagine rarely come to pass.

The things you worry about almost never happen.
Things will work itself out.
Trial and error is the way of life for the successful Alpha Man.

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Reframe: Fear of being alone

______________________
Guys believe that being alone or without a woman has implications of

being boring, unhappy.
Look at this in a positive light - this fear keeps guys in bad

relationships far too long
Guys lack the skill of qualifying - who's a good match for them.
Rather than going through the effort of getting out of a bad

relationship and finding someone new, they stay - lack of skill.
Don't want to repeat the pain and suffering - better the devil you know
vs. the devil you don't know.
One way the other - she may dump you or you have to break it off
with her anyways. have the possibility in your head at all times.
Being alone is fine - a a great place to be as you're trying to find and

develop your own Alpha lifestyle - working on career, finances, finding
passions.
Don't let the fear of being alone steer you into decisions you don't
want to make.
Even, if you're with someone - you should still be you, have your own
thoughts.
You'll never be completely be with somebody and you'll never be

completely without somebody.
Learn to manage the state in between that a mature Alpha man finds
out his own mental makeup, gets his own inner game together and
becomes mature.

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Brain-Lock Syndrome
____________________
You have a beautiful woman in front of you... What do you say?

All the cool stuff you learned and remembered are out the window.
You're speechless and you feel like an idiot.
How do you over come this?
EXAMPLE CALL from Carlos where he breaks this syndrome down.
What do you do when your mind locks up? What do you say when
you don't know what to say?
You feel like you're in over your head and you don't know what to do -
likened to fear of speaking in public. the more you thin about it, the
worse it gets.
The more you fight against your thinking, the more your mind locks
up.
Guys try to think their way through certain situations that really don't
have a solution because they are thinking too much.
What works ... Honesty. Tell her that she's her in front of you and you
can't find the words to say...
Overvaluing women based on their appearances - adds to this.
Cut straight to the chase and be vulnerable - admit the situation

you're in.
It only gets harder the more you try to think through the interaction.
Don't fight the problem. Don't put more force against force - it only
hurts you more.

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You learn how to step aside and redirect the energy - let it go by you.
Example
Get past the initial hurdle - speed bump, the connection between your
brain and your mouth
Simplest way to get past it is to admit it and watch the reaction in her.
See how warm and accepting a woman can actually be when she
realizes what's going on with you. Remember, women are just as
nervous as you are. Their brains get just as locked up as yours.
Men have to take on the role of keeping the conversation moving -
make it comfortable for the woman to feel like she can talk and
express herself.
Admit what youʼre thinking at that first moment...

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AUDIO DISC 3
Important Rule: Give value to her right away.
Giving value means making her feel better about herself in the
process of opening the conversation.
Guys get stuck in the desire mode - they see a woman and want her
and need to have her. They desire her and her attractiveness and
want to possess her in some way.
Taints your approach and makes you come across with a different
kind of edge.
You don't seem generous, giving, or flexible. You're in it for a

particular agenda of your own.
Best way to give value - compliment.
Yes, Compliment her, but not in the ordinary way that most guys
throw them out there, which is to gain acceptance and kiss ass.
Necessary to use compliments in day game. However, use

indiscriminately and with thought. Don't just base the compliments on
her looks but rather on her appearance.
Go out, talk to the next three women, and give them a compliment out
of appreciation - something very small. Then, let it go - let her go.
You don't need anything from the interaction such as numbers,

emails, dates.
Give her a compliment that will make her feel good.

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Remember to base it on her appearance not her looks (beauty) like
her dress, her shoes, her jewelry, or her hairstyle. Maybe even a cool
tattoo she has...
Women appreciate that you notice the things that they chose to stand
out - the thought it took to get themselves looking the way they do.
If you see a tattoo, you know there was a reason why she got it.
If she's wearing a nice dress, appreciate her for that.
If she's wearing her hair in a nice way, that reminds you of a particular
actress, appreciate her for that. You can eve let her know that it even
looks better on her than the actress.
Your overall mindset is to first appreciate and give something to the

women you approach - The mindset is not to "get" from her like a
phone number or a date. Or even, how do I go up and talk to her...
It's easier when you create a reason or need - a greased chute

makes things easy up front.
Give help or advice, and in a gentle and non assertive way.

- If you see a woman doing something, - struggling, help her
- Hold a door, Pickup and carry a package
- Buying something at the store, give some advice - your opinion
Give her value - information, without wanting something back.
Back to the giving a compliment opener - don't give it based on her

genetic luck.
Compliment her on the choices and her overall appearance - that she
chose well and has good taste.
Example: "I'm not a fashion critic but that..."
Giving her value so that she gets a sense of "He's a giving person."
This is how to start a positive interaction with a woman.

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Think: How do I give her fun? How do I give her a good feeling about
herself?
This will bring you more success.

It will be more of a lifestyle choice than a hobby or something you
have to push yourself to do.
Finding different ways to make people feel good about themselves

will be fun.
Approach Anxiety Strategy and Tactical Combo

_____________________
3-Step Process (will get you past approach anxiety)
Apply it methodically and persevere - it's not very hard.
Most guys believe approach anxiety is something you have for life -
something you can never get rid of. Becomes a self-perpetuating,
self-limiting belief system that they keep and that will never go away...
Becomes part of their identity.
Identity is comprised of your self-limiting and your self-enabling

beliefs.
Beliefs are a double edged sword. Watch out for them.
Not only do the things you believe help get you through the day but
they also keep you from becoming more than what you are now and
all that you can be.
3-Step Process
This is a process of acclimation.
The easiest way to get yourself to do something that you cannot do

now is to take it step by step - it is no different than taking baby steps.
Incrementally increase your exposure to the thing that gives you your
fears.

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Approach anxiety is a low grade form of a phobia. Phobias are
curable.
You never have to live with phobias for your entire life.
Make the decision in your head that you CAN overcome the anxiety.
You may have "twinges" of nervousness but you will not have anxiety.
Approach anxiety = Approach excitement
Step 1
"Day 1/Day 2" Set
For two days, you're going to do one of the steps
First two days, you observe
Put yourself in public situations and observe women - see women,

preferably in the day. Create openers from what you've observed.
Example: You see a woman in a store and she is taking something
down from a display... What would you say to her?
Remember, you are not going to actually approach her. Just what
would you say if you were going to... You could say something like,
"Have you bought that brand before?"
It may be bland and boring but it's something - created off the top of
his head and it has to do something with the environment you're
already in.
The opener doesn't have to be fantastic - just has to be enough to get

her attention. She will probably reflexively block you.
She's probably wrapped up in her own little world - the first thing you
say is to just wake her up to the fact that somebody is talking to her.
She is in her head as she's going about her day, trying to get things
done.

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So, watch what she's doing, what she's wearing, what she's carrying,
who she's with... Whatever you observe, use as the key to your
opener.
Lance's "Back Pocket" Opener: A quick way to get into someone

else's reality. See Disc 11.
Something as simple as asking for the time.
It's not just that but how you bridge it into a conversation.
Example: "Hey, do you have the time?" After she gives it, he says, "
Look, you don't have to give me the time... I already know what time it
is. I just came over to flirt with you."
The opener gets her attention, gets her thinking, and gets her back
into a social awareness - then turns it around on her. Makes it
obvious, his reason for coming over to talk to her.
Guys may be uncomfortable admitting their intentions to a woman up

front.
But, it's important that you do because you're breaking down social
boundaries.
By hiding the fact that you are coming over to talk, you create a
situation in your head where you have ulterior motives - hidden
agenda.
You create a situation where you don't trust yourself because your
intentions are hidden. You create an unhealthy, psychological place to
start a conversation from.
If you are up front about your intentions and are having fun with it,
you actually kill two birds with one stone - You make her laugh. You
admit something - vulnerable, breaking down a social boundary. And,

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she'll much more open and responsive to you. It's when you keep the
intention hidden that will cause you trouble.
Guys go in with the desire to meet a woman, to get her number - he

has all these things running around in his head of what he wants to
get. Shooting down their own ability to stay congruent with the
approach, to stay interesting and to stay in the vibe because they
know this is all going on in their head. And, the woman knows this,
too. It becomes a weird, creepy thing you're both not talking about.
Instead, bring it out into the open as fast as you can.
Whatever opener you come up with, whatever you were able to

observe and use to approach - you now need to bridge into a
conversation.
Make sure it has energy - fun and exciting. Something to talk about
that you can both get into.
Show her you have a different kind of personality - that you're a

different kind of guy.
If you should feel uncomfortable, it's okay to cut it short.

Be satisfied with what you accomplished but next time, take it a step
further to get your comfort level up.
Universal opener should be there for you every single time.

You know it so well, you never forget it.
Example: "Do you have the time?"
Do this for two days and build it to the point that you're seeing
opportunity everywhere you go - but you don't and cannot act on it.
It's like someone's holding you back from jumping into a fight. So at
the end of the two days, you'll be excited to use the openers you've
been able to create. You've created positive mental momentum -
creating a situation where you want something. You are pulled into
the approach, not pushed - by the sheer tension of the social
potential you have.

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No pressure, you have the ability to create things at will.
You've observed, created your openers, and maybe even imagined

how the conversations progressed (in your head)... so you feel more
comfortable.
Have your bookends - the start and finish to your conversation, for
greater success.
Once you control those two elements of the conversation - the

entrance and the exit, you will feel more safe and comfortable going
into an interaction because you control it. The in-between may be
nebulous - unknown - but it's okay, as long as you know how to exit.
Step 2
Starting with day 3 - for the next two days say “Hi.”
Walk down the street and to whoever you happen to see, pass by
them, and say hello. Then, keep walking. You don't even have to look
at them.
You don't even have to register a response. You put it out there with
no expectations - you're just forcing yourself to open up and starting
the process.
Once you get the hang of the first few, you quickly lose the anxiety
especially if you don't expect a reaction. Some people still need a
kind of interaction to feel they were justified in doing what they were
doing. This is not good social conditioning.
Say hello to everyone you see - men, women, children.
Go into stores and say hello to the clerks.
You want to create more positive mental momentum. People do

accept you and would want to interact with you. You're conditioning
your nervous system.

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Do this for two days. And continue to see where opportunities to
"open" are and practice them in your head - the potential.
Building up the charge - to unleash your power.
Step 3
Starting with day 5 - Unleash your approach
Start using your approaches on women. You can use them on men,
too.
You can use it on the lowest common denominator - go into a store

and start opening the "hired guns". The idea way to warm yourself up.
Take all the opportunities you saw before and take a few chances.
In the morning of day 5, build positive mental momentum by
observing, seeing where the opportunity to open is, and practicing
openers in your head like you did on Day 1. Say hi to a few people to
warm up. Then, use your approach.
If you go in sincerely and genuinely, you're not going to have a

problem.
And, if you can reveal your intentions early, you'll kill off the weird
vibe.
If you feel the energy start to dwindle, get back to feeling safe about
talking to strangers. Easy way to do this is to talk to the clerks and
other people who work at stores. Remember it's their job to talk to
people - and, they are friendly.
They don't have approach anxiety because they talk to strangers

everyday.
A good reason to work in retail - to help overcome fear of talking to

people.
This 3-step strategy will kill approach anxiety - if you use it!

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If you're already thinking that it's not going to work for you - you don't
know enough to make that decision. What you're really saying is you
would actually refuse any strategy given to you based on the fact you
don't want to tackle this issue.
Yes, people are different - different cases. But when it comes to

approach anxiety, there are few different cases. They all boil down to
the same exact fears.
If you haven't done anything, you must get out and do something.
Take this strategy, get out there, get active and you should be
approaching women in no time flat. No expectations, just get out
there and overcome your initial hurdle and do the thing that you fear.
If for some reason you find this doesn't work for you, please do a
reality check.
The principles this is based on are absolutely sound, and Iʼve been
practicing this for years.
And, you want to be realistic about how you're using this. Until you've
actually tried it, you cannot say it doesn't work.
Approach anxiety get worse the longer you have it. And, it's harder to
overcome.
The worst thing about it is that you avoid the very same situations
that would actually disprove your fears.
Don't fight it - the advice given in this program, the approach, the
situation - because the more you tell yourself, " Don't be nervous." or
"Don't be scared." - the worse it's going to get, the avoidance of the
situations that would actually serve to stop these fears from growing.
The more you approach, the less you feel the anxiety.

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Recognize that your mind changes how your body feels on a very
primal level.
Your beliefs, your fears, your approach anxiety are actually making
you feel sick on a physical level. The feeling you have is now deeply
ingrained in your behaviors and you want to avoid this. You actually
become afraid of being afraid.
You are misinterpreting the threat of the imagined outcome as being

directly caused by the situation of approaching.
It's not the approach creating it, it's your imagination and situations
outside your control. You've linked the two together.
Example: A woman and her fear of dogs.
The most effective way to overcome approach anxiety, if you have a

deep, strong case of it is to use my compassionate approach.
- The 1st time you go up to a woman say something like this, "You
know, I'm really excited to be doing this. I'm so excited to be talking
to you but I'm also scared stiff because I want to look good and
impress you. So, if my voice shakes little or I stutter and hesitate,
you'll know why."
Instantly, you will get her support. Once you've admitted your
feelings, you don't have to worry about them.
And sheʼll be compassionate to your approach.
You've said more impossible things to women than what I just said
and what I said is actually true. Write it down and practice it. Use it on
the approaches that give you the most anxiety. And then introduce
yourself.
Your mind changes how your body feels on a very primitive level
because we are instinctually guided towards our fight or flight
instincts. Your nerves are your bodies protests against overwhelming

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expectation of perfection or of certain results you cannot guarantee.
The more you try to stick to a perfect plan in your head of an
approach, the more nervous you're going to feel.
Go into every approach with only one goal - to use one new opener
or one transition phrase or one new anything and that's it! Everything
else is just an improvisation of previously rehearsed stuff.
You can never go in with a big agenda of what you want to

accomplish in a conversation and expect it to come out all right
because it won't. Conversations are liquid, fluid, always moving.
Very often, you'll find your fear response as an excuse for you to not
do what you know you need to do. Your mind will do everything to
trick you, to force you to not do what it is you really need to do -
because of fear.
You must go up and approach to feel better.
Neurotic equation
Real symptoms = Real threats
Means the reality that you feel, regarding the symptoms of approach
anxiety automatically translates in your head that the threat has to be
real. The feelings you have - the reality you have for that perceived
threats.
Attributing fear and anxiety to the approach it's not the approach
that's doing it.
Learn to save yourself - recognize the feeling of pain and anxiety .

Symptoms don't have anything to do with the situation you are facing.
Symptoms decrease when you don't see the women being a threat to
you - a potential to tear you down and reject you. And, even if she
does, you have plenty of strategies to deal with that.
Break the mental equation inside your head that tells you that what
your feeling is because of the woman or the approach.

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The 5 Fears of Approach - contributes to approach anxiety
1. Fear of being afraid
2. Fear of what other people think
3. Fear of deviating from the plan or approach method
4. Fear of failure
5. Fear of being in the presence of other people
Solutions for Approach Anxiety

1. Must have an opening and a close established and memorized -
gives control
2. Drop your expectations of immediate results
3. Drop the use of a full plan or method
4. Process the environment first
5. Talk to people you have no interest in, to warm up
6. Breathing deeply - to relax and short physical workout - resets the
dials to your emotions, changes your mental focus
7. Mental engineering and visualization
8. Distract yourself from feelings with mental exercises or a past
memory
9. Have a buddy system (if you can)
The 4 Steps of Connection and Friendship

1. Attention
2. Connection
3. Commitment
4. Action
*Rule of Attraction: A woman isn't in to you until she takes action on

her desire.
Calibration
Calibrate for the environment
Calibration - setting your energy for the surrounding
Example: Your energy level in a bar vs. your energy in church

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Energy of your lifestyle should run through you - a high current
A skill - learn to ride it, learn to keep it from raising your anxiety
High energy environments - women are there for the stimulus.

Bars and clubs - loud music, load talking
Medium energy environments

Restaurants, small social gathering
Low energy environments

Wherever she is and she's not interacting with other people - like
shopping.
Make sure your energy level is slightly higher than hers but at he
same time not to far beyond hers - or you'll come off wrong.
Enthusiastic - be excited to be alive.

No guy is a naturally "laid back" guy. Chooses a very low impact way
of living his life - not revealing his true personality. Guys don't want to
reveal themselves to women, to the outside world - allowing them to
sink into the background.
Playing it safe when it comes to interacting with people - the doom of

your social skills, your social style.
Calibrate to her
Calibrate to the environment
Ramp Up - Energy
___________________
Have routines that gets you energized
Examples:
Call someone - a relative, an old friend
Be around people
Talk to people, particularly strangers

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Prank phone calling
Invent a one-sided phone conversation
Build up your energy from being in whatever state your in - solitary ,

and make sure you ramp it up. Get out and get yourself actively
engaged in other people.

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AUDIO DISC 4
Concept
___________________
Self Actualization - Understand human motivation
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - Pyramid

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The most essential needs are at the bottom and builds on each one.
You have to meet the lowest common denominator need before you
can even think about the next need on the ladder.
Physiological - at the bottom. The basics: food, clothing, and shelter.

Security - social security within family and society.
Love and Belonging - the need to be part of a group. Receive and

give love, appreciation, and friendship.
Esteem - the need to be a unique individual, stand out from the

group.
Self-Actualization - the need to experience purpose and meaning.
Women's needs fit into Maslow's hierarchy.
It is your job to help her meet her needs. Found out where she is in
the hierarchy and help her get to the next level.
Focus of approach is to get her to laugh and have fun. It is your soul
objective.
Escalates and elevates the energy in the interaction in such a way,

you are guaranteed some form of connection.
Primary focus is to get connection.
Connection and rapport is not built on commonalities - not a true

emotional connection. True emotional connection takes work on your
part.
Focus on making her laugh - a joke, gentle teasing.

You're giving to her - starting the conversation on the right foot.
You're getting her to enjoy herself and you - she'll immediately feel a
connection.

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Go into an approach with wanting to make her smile, you'll be going
in with the right intention.
Intention - Do you mean it?
Tease to Please
_____________________
Talk to women for the sheer fun of it.
Sexual tension comes from his ability to tease her. Because...
He's not putting her on a pedestal. He's showing her he can deal with
her in a way that says, "You're not Diametric opposite...” approaching
with compliments, the intention of wanting something from her.
Bribing her to feel good about him.
Teasing = Fun
Example: Don't ever tease a woman based on her looks - too

personal, insulting.
Tease her about something she has with her - handbags.
"Hey, you know what? I bet you have so much stuff in that purse, that
if someone were to call you on your cell phone, it would take you 10
minutes to find it and get it out ."
Example: A woman carrying a bag of groceries.
"Did you know it's a rule in Hollywood films that every bag of
groceries has a baguette in it, especially if it's a romantic comedy?"
Tease nicely - about what she's doing in a store.
Example: A woman's holding a book (on happiness) in the Self Help

section of the store. Make sure you calibrate for the subject matter
the book may be about.

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"Huh... that's an interesting book. Are you feeling any happier right
now? Are you feeling any happier since you started reading it?"
Women will take any tease and laugh at it because to not laugh
creates social tension. Doesn't look or feel good to not give someone
a polite chuckle.
The only kind of woman that will resist this is the bitch - the woman
you don't want to be talking to.
Recognize that when you come into a situation and a woman is non
responsive it's just an indicator that she's no the one you need to be
talking to right now.
Use teasing to start off an interaction with the intention of getting her
to smile.
Architecture of an Approach
_____________________
Method, structure, framework
Need a clear picture of what your success should look like - It's like
building a house with no plans.
The 4-Step Process - E.D.G.E.
★Engage interest.
★Drive up desire, interest.
★Getting connection
★Escalate and exit
Initially, you have to know.... What is this woman thinking? The one
thing she is thinking and asking herself is this - Why is he talking to
me?
You need to answer this as soon as possible.

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The Opening
The opener is the first opportunity for rejection and because of this
has a lot of anxiety attached to it - so much importance is placed on
this one line. But, the opening line is inconsequential. What's more
important than what you say is how look and how you handle it when
you walk up to her.
Most guys walk up with an awkward, uneasy neediness.

Be ready and able to invest your own energy into the interaction -
warm her up.
Be persistent. Believe in yourself.
Recognize and get past your fear of what to say - it's unimportant.
It's only important when you make a bad first impression.
*A woman's beauty is the least valuable thing on this planet.

She gets more beautiful in different ways the longer you get to know
her.
The opener is the least important part of the equation.

Keep openers simple - no investment, no expectation.
If you need a response, you're automatically sabotaging yourself.

Make the approach certain for you by making it a "win/win" scenario.
Attraction is mixed with rapport. building elements.
Don't think linearly. Think holistically.
Map example.
Thinking holistically leaves you open and flexible when the

unexpected happens.
And, have bookends of conversation - entrances and exits

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Risk of Openers
Keep them simple, flexible, and not too risky.
Functional, Required Openers - Obligatory Openers

Questions that people feel obligated to answer.
Starts at an "indirect" angle - you need to build rapport quickly
Opinion Openers
Calibration is needed - for the environment you find yourselves in
A simple question to get her opinion.
Example: "So, do you think it's okay when somebody breaks up with
their boyfriend by using their answering machine or text message?"
This is an awkward opinion opener - calibrate.
Indirect Openers - matter of fact in terms of conversation
Used to cloak or disguise sexual interest so you donʼt raise her

alarms too quickly...
Example: "Mistaken" identity - "Hey, Jenny! Oh my God. My mistake.

You look so much like my friend Jennifer. You're hair is just like hers ."
From there, you need to bridge and connect a normal conversation -
"You know what?The jewelry you're wearing is something she would

wear, too. Where did you get that?"
You can also pretend that they are an employee.

Example: " Hey. Can you tell me where the shoe section is?"
Let her correct you. Then bridge onto normal conversation.
Another example: "This is going to sound really gay..."

Makes it fun - and you're overcoming a little bit of embarrassment.

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Another indirect opener: Eavesdropping on other people's
conversation.
You should always be eavesdropping on women's conversations and

pounce on it whenever you can. they will always bring up a topic you
can add your two-cents to.
If done correctly, 95% of the time they won't mind - welcome another
person's perspective. Listen for commonalities that you can grasp
and jump into the conversation with - preface it with, "Excuse me
ladies. But, I couldn't help but overhear..."
Direct Openers
More difficult, higher risk up front
Don't make any direct expression of emotion for her - you're just
expressing curiosity.
Never go in with a compliment based on her looks. They get this all
the time.
Heavy vs. Light - compliments
Example: "You know, I realize you're probably a little shy but I thought
I'd come over and say hi to you." or "Hi. i just want to let you know
that I think you have a really great smile... you have a really great
energy about you..."
Example: Her perfume
Great direct opener - teasing. Energy gets raised right away with the
tease.
Example of a bad tease/ good tease

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Destroyer Practice Opener
"I'm trying to get over my fear of rejection. would you do me a favor

and tell me to get lost, creep... Go ahead, I can take it."
Shows you're gutsy

Fun interaction
You can go in any direction based on her response.
Directly Indirect
Is when you talk about the situation you're in as if you're slightly

removed from it but it is very clear that you're talking about it
Example: "Why do you think men are so afraid to go up and talk to a
woman?"
Shows you're not afraid
Bring up the very thing you are asking about
Confrontation game
Example: "My friend told me that women like it when guys approach
them and just start conversations, even if it doesn't go anywhere. Are
you like that?"
Situational opener - based on where you're at, the environment

Universal opener
Formula - Uses basic interrogative questions of who, what, where,

when, why, which, and how
Examples
Ask questions about the situation or the environment
See how she responds to the question - Does she open up?

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Set things up so they work for you - the greased chute.
After the "How are you doing?" and she responds openly, follow with,
"I'm making it a point to meet three new people today.
Congratulations. You're one of them."
Memorize 3 to 5 openers that work for you.

Everything else should be off the cuff and situational in nature.
Make a list of the place you go during the day - and think of one
simple opener that would work in any of those places.
Example: This is one of my favorite places to go to in the area. I just

love..."
Universal opener that works just about anywhere.
Observational openers
Make an observation about where you are, communicate it to her,

check in with her, and see if she experiences the same thing.
Shoe store example
An infinite amount of elements tying in to create a multitude of

openers.
Rehearse what you've created
Memorization - practice it in different ways

1. Say it as fast as you can.
2. Say it as slow as you can.
3. Sing it.

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Transition Phase
___________________
The First Turn - where the conversation begins

The most critical point - bridging from the opener to the conversation
The longer you stay approaching, you feel weird
Get to the conversation as fast as possible. The best way to do this,

is by listening to her response - the keywords in her sentence.
Example: Asking for an Italian restaurant in the area.
Be curious to what she says and ask questions about it.
Questions are a great way to keep her talking until you can think of
something to add to the conversation.
If you grab at things that are too abstract, you're going to appear as if
youʼre trying too hard.
Be authentic and real.

Escalate the energy. Turn into conversation to build connection.

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AUDIO DISC 5
Compliance
_____________________
An important step in the approach is to get compliance from a

woman.
Basic form of compliance is getting her to interact with you - seeing

you and acknowledging you is an important first step. Next, she has
to listen to you and to what you're saying - it's a statement to how you
are commanding the approach.
Get her to answer a question. Get her to respond to your statements -

the things that you're saying. The more you make statements and the
more she doesn't respond to them, the less you've achieved in
compliance.
Conversation has to progress beyond an interrogation phase -

question answering doe not mean there is a connection. She needs
to offer up information on her own.
She needs to help you move it forward.
If not, you need to reassess the interaction - handle it or move on.
Another important point, she has to follow along with your escalation.
You need her to get to do something with you - get her number, email
to set up another opportunity to interact with you.
Women - Making Observations

_____________________
Intuitive guesses about her likes, hobbies, habits, her career...

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Making some kind of interpretation about her based her responses to
your questions or something you see about her appearance - cold
reading.
Observation: "You look like the kind of person who would enjoy
helping other people out." (This would be obvious if she was wearing
a nurse's uniform.)
What about a woman who wears a lot of jewelry?
Cultivate this skill - it is a fast rapport building skill. Women will be

more responsive to you - they think you can see things about them
that most other people can't.
Everything you say should have a keen social insight or at least, that
you're trying to look beyond the surface and see the qualities
underneath it.
Make practice observations - start with your friends and family, the
people you know well. Use it to make "baseline" observations about
people and how they behave, then apply them to other people.
You're not trying to stereotype people or be judgmental - just trying to

make a guess to see what someone is like.
These observations will serve you well.
Bridges and Ramps

_____________________
Are methods of connecting with women between your "get-
togethers".
Bridges are non escalating - just to keep her aware of you, that you're
around.
Ramps are the same as bridges but with intention of escalating

tension in order to get another meeting or date.

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Uses: Between meetings, after your initial approach - the first thing
you do is to send a quick text. This would be a bridge - "pinging" her
and keeping her aware of you. A ramp would be something like a
phone call - talking to her, teasing and bringing up the sexual tension
in the conversation because you're leading toward the point of getting
her state up so she'll be interested to see you again.
Must be escalating the energy.
You're either trying to bridge or ramp...
Example: Bridge - a random "ping", an email message making a

small comment.
A ramp - a phone call or face to face meet up where you see her for
just a minute to drive the energy back up again.
Qualification
_____________________
The stage where you have to start become more discriminating -

more perceptive and start looking at a woman with a critical eye.
Next turn or next opportunity for rejection - meaning you can either
reject her or again, she can reject you.
The difference between the "natural" and unsuccessful guy is that the
"natural" has reasons why he would walk away from a woman. He
gives off the aura of "there are things you are going to have to do to
impress me..."
If you don't qualify a woman, you are going to send the wrong
message to her, making it more likely she's going to flake and less
likely that you'll ever get to meet her again.
Why qualify? It gives her the opportunity to start working for your
attention and approval. Shows you have standards and criteria. Locks

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in her interests - she now has a reason why she's going to be
interested in you and she's going to follow up.
Fast approach: Qualification can be implied.
Example: You seem like a cool chick. Why don't you give me you
number so we can meet up another time?" " You look like you might
be fun. We might have a really good time together..."
You can skip some of the rapport, if you can qualify her enough.
You're making a statement that implies your selectivity - how choosy
you are.
Cautionary note: Don't be arrogant. You don't want to go over the top,
be subtle.
You're a little skeptical but you're willing to give her a shot.
Qualification is based on non appearance criteria - qualities you've

set up in advance.
Practice: Sit down with a piece of paper and clearly list out all the
reasons why you would eliminate or reject a woman from your life.
Reasons why she would not be a part of your life. You have them,
don't you?
Carlos' reasons: She needs to flexible. She must be sane. She needs
to be in touch with her femininity. These are just a few...
Create your list based on that. Write down everything that you can
think of that has killed past relationships. Then think further down the
road - what do you want in your life and how would she help you or
hinder you.
Qualification based phrases: "Is there more to you than meets the
eye?" "You know, I saw you across the room and I wanted to come
over and see what you're like."

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"So, what are your three best qualities?" "What have you got going
for you other than your looks?" "Why would I want to get to know you
better?", etc.
You have criteria and you're not going to compromise.
Implement only when there is a connection and she shows interest in

you.
Establish the previous steps before you qualify.
Rapport Building
____________________
The place where trust is made - where you gain a connection with a
woman.
The important thing for a woman is connection. Women nurture and

are instinctually driven to nurture the "connecting" relationships they
have in their lives.
So, she must feel invested in you.
Investment principle is so important in the approach - giving them a

reason to call you, see you. Minimizes the woman's "flakiness".
Connection that was created with the trust, which was created by the
rapport from your interaction - a daisy chain sequence. The equation
of rapport.
Establish rapport with commonalities - anything you have in common

with her. But go deeper into more than this for deep rapport.
Common experience is the best method.

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Something you have both done, some experience you both share that
ties you together. And, not things like favorite color or liking the same
movie. A shared experience is the best way to do this.
Caution: Sometimes rapport is necessary to establish before

attraction.
Some women may have trust issues and to get past them is to have
some kind of connection. Sometimes rapport is attraction and needs
to be focused on especially in Daygame.
Rapport with an emotional context.
Your lives have a lot of emotional context with which to work with -
childhood, family and friends, your work...
Communicate your own personal ideals and philosophy - your up

front and because it can be communicated quickly in the approach,
even in the opener.
Example: "I believe a guy should speak his mind, even if his voice
shakes. So, if I sound nervous, you'll understand why. I felt like I had
to come over and say hi to you. My name is Carlos."
Example: " You know, I don't like to have opportunity slip by and that's
why I had to come over and say hi to you."
Communicates own personal life philosophy while approaching -

does double duty. The examples are direct but even if your shy and
apprehensive at first, there are ways to put it in there.
Emotional Connection = True Intimacy. Guys think that intimacy

means sex - that's not true. Intimacy is the feeling of connection a
woman is looking for - emotional intimacy will lead ti physical intimacy
for you.

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How do you forge connection and rapport? Explore the things you
have in common and inject excitement to it. Raise the energy - make
it fun!
Example: Have you lived in SF all your life?

No matter what it is, you can twist it - make it what it needs to be for
you.
You are the spin doctor of your own life. Create and fabricate the
connection.
Taking what it is and making the most out of it.
Cold reading - it would be a trick if it weren't for the intent. make an

assumption about a woman and her character.
Example: " I get a sense that a lot of men get the wrong idea when
they first meet you. They think you're a little stand-offish and a little
cold. But, you're actually a lot more sensitive and funny than people
realize. Is that true?"
The purpose is to not give out lame observations - not to lie.

You should be able to do a read of your own that applies to her.
The more you see her as a three dimensional, vibrant woman, the
more your "cold" reads will turn into "warm" reads based on genuine
insight.
Cold read examples: "You know, it seems like you have this strong
need for other people to like and admire you but you also have this
tendency to be critical of yourself." "You've got a hidden talent and
passion most people don't really know about and, you want to do
more with it but something seems to be holding you back.", etc.
They don't have to always be phrased as statements, they can be
asked as questions.
Cold reads give her something that she doesn't usually get -
somebody who is actually interested in her right from the very start.

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By the way, another thing that annoys women more than the macho,
aggressive "player" guys is shy guys.
The key to bonding with women is to get connection and have her
share things about herself. then you tell her how much you can relate
to that to establish more rapport. Use this to open real rapport.
Example: " I bet it takes a while for you to trust people. You've been
hurt before and by somebody really close to you. But, the people that
do earn your trust, I bet you'd do anything for them."
Follow up by saying "I'm the same way." and share an experience.

You're laying down the foundation for a deeper connection.
Commonality
_____________________
Creating and fabricating commonality
Google example
Find out what she really likes, it'll be something you can relate to.
You don't need to lie - just find the ones you have in common and
make the commonality stand out.
Once you start talking to this woman, you will find that you do have a
lot in common.
And, if you find out that you don't, it'll be your choice to disqualify her.
You decide if you want to continue trying to build a connection.
Accounting Example: taking a difference between the two of you and

making it a commonality
Body Language
______________________
If you pay too much attention on body language, you're spending too
much time up in your head - trying too hard to make it happen.

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1. Pay attention to how you carry your head.
2. Posture
3. HIps
4. Arm positioning
As long as you have good posture and you don't move around too
much, you're body language is generally good. If you're posture is
bad and you fidget, you're displaying bad body language.
Example of good body language: James Dean
Recommended learning tool: Paul Eckman's "Micro Expressions

Training Tool" and "Subtle Expressions Training Tool"
You must take up space with your body. The more you feel confined
the less you seem confident. Relax and spread yourself out into the
environment you're in. Taking up space displays territoriality and
communicates confidence.
Gestures should be made slowly - be poetic with your motions. Quick,

jerky gestures are off-putting and make others uneasy.
Try video taping yourself so you can observe your own body
language.
You're not going to tell if a woman is interested with you based strictly
on her body language - you need to base it on the over all feel of the
interaction.
Exercise: Watch a movie with the sound off. Try to figure out the
emotion of the scene by simply paying attention to the body language
of the characters.
Exercise: People watching

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Important skill is to have is to observe other people's body language
and be able to make assumptions, read their psychology (their
thinking) by watching and observing.
Elevating Your Game

_____________________
Marketing - Conversion Rate
Changing somebody from an unknowing prospect to a customer.

You want to do the same thing with women - turning them into an
emotionally based customer and you are the product.
Do this by maximizing your results at every opportunity - tweaking

and adjusting whenever necessary, changing the right things in your
approach.
Variable you should be tweaking - "kino", touch

Can be done with Daygame if done correctly - no grabbing and not
from behind.
Should be gentle and on the appropriate places on the body - the

shoulder, the arm, sometimes the hand, and the upper back.
Just trying to initiate contact that will get her attention and let her
know that there's another person there. Touch can change the entire
dynamic of the relationship between you and another person. Touch
bonds us in a way that nothing else does.
CIrcuitry in your brain is geared toward the sense of touch.
Touch gets her attention, establishes connection
Focus on a way to initiate contact - not with words but with a touch,
then follow- up with words. The first touch is gentle and brief - you
pull away.
Also end the interaction with "kino", anchors you physically.

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Escalation
___________________
Interactions from this point are essentially dates.
Escalate to the next step - getting contact information, setting a date
Don't just go for the phone number or email, push for the next
meeting with her.
Escalation is not a problem if you've gotten rapport.
If you fail to get really good rapport, you'll get a phone number much
easier than getting a date but you'll also find out that the number
won't pan out for a getting the date.
Your goal is to get that level of connection such that she'll feel
comfortable enough to set another meeting with you, almost
immediately.
Example: Finish the conversation with, "I got to get back to work but
have fun with your shopping. I hope you find the shoes your looking
for... " and while you're walking away, you turn to say, "Hey. You know
what? It would be cool for us to connect again. I think we should get
together again. You'd be fun to hang out with. What night this wee
works for you?" That easy.
Laying the groundwork for when she's expecting to see you again -
Getting her to look forward to seeing you again.
Escalation leads to a close - how you finish the conversation
Small steps of escalation in the approach:

- Get her attention
- Investing herself by talking to you
- Making physical contact
- Inject playfulness

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Primary escalation is to go from not knowing her to talking to her and
establishing a connection - from "I just met this guy." to "Wow! We
have something special."

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AUDIO DISC 6
Delusion - Guys measuring their success with women by getting

phone numbers.
Phone numbers are meaningless. You come away thinking that you
have something tangible. Socially programmed to believe that phone
numbers are a guys goal with women.
Your goal is to establish connection. The connection leads you to any

number of deeper interactions.
Phone numbers have no value.
The real result you want is the actual commitment from a woman - for
the date.
Change your idea of real results are.
What have the phone numbers really led to? Most led to absolutely
nowhere.
Getting the phone number is a quick and easy cop out - women know
this.
Dismiss the Bitch

_______________________
They way a woman responds to you should be the least of your
concerns.
If you are, you're going to find yourself hinging your feelings on the
outcome - making you needy and insecure about your approaches.
What do you do when a woman is cold to you?

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Interpret it correctly - understand its never about you. She doesn't
have enough information about you to make a decision yet.
Reasons why - Having a bad day. Had bad guys.
She's not a high quality woman - bitch.
How to handle her - break down her defense mechanisms.
Understand where she's coming from, her emotional state.
Example - shows compassion, expresses understanding, educates

and gives her the opportunity to turn it around.
Ideally, approach the woman who is more open to you.
No time for cold women - Dismiss the bitch.
Courtesy Threshold
________________________
Get a woman past her courtesy threshold. Most women will give you
a polite shake.
You need to find out if she's being sincere - if they're investing in the
interaction.
Push them past the courtesy limit - if she's not really engaged,
meaning what she's saying call her out.
Example: "Are you just trying to blow me off?"
A woman appreciates the challenge - creates a sexual tension.
Make it fun, exciting and involving. That helps to make her invested in
you.

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The Chet Holmes Hiring Strategy Example
When a woman brushes you off, doesn't give you a positive

response, it doesn't mean no. Persist, give her the reasons she
needs to say in the interaction. Women are screening out the ones
that are the easiest to get rid of - the one's that don't have the drive,
the one's who don't believe in themselves.
Get in there and give the best presentation.
Psychology of Failure and Success

_____________________
Equally afraid of failure and success
Fear of success with women - Afraid of the great unknown. What

happens next?
To busy thinking of all the other things that may come with the
success.
Fear of failure - scared of being rejected.
Guys are just as afraid of succeeding as they are failing.
Figure out which guy you are, or if not both - drill down to the reasons
why.
Psychological Aspect: How you ruin your game with women...
Department store analogy/example.
Example: "Do you want to go out sometime?" "Can I have your phone
number?"
Self justifying questions - you know how they will respond to them.
Approach technique: Ask a question that you would want to answer.

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Ask the question in such a way that the other person finds
themselves compelled to answer the way you want them to. The
ultimate question.
Don't ask for her number - create an interaction where she's dying to
give you her phone number because she can't imagine the thought of
not being able to get in contact with you again.
Law of the inevitable - an unavoidable event.
What could you to to have a woman feeling compelled to go out with

you?
Approaching Women in Your Social Circle

_______________________
Leeching is not encouraged.
Leeching is using (or, rather, abusing) your social network to get with
women. Use it for how it was meant to be - making friends then
creating connections that allow you to meet new women.
Connector Example: The social person who seems to everybody - the

connector.
You want to have as many people as these in your life as you can.
They will connect you to someone important, perhaps that one

special woman.
Approaching friends of friends is straightforward and easy.
Make sure you have exhausted all your "cold sources" before hitting
the warm market.
Have an abundance mindset.

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Can't be gamey. Come from a friendship based, rapport building
perspective.
Social event - approach with something fairly standard and neutral

Ask questions like "So, how do you know each other?" "What do you
do during the day?" Or say "I think I know you through so and so..."
Remember: Be valuable. Attraction is based on the perception of

value.
You do already have some value - by virtue of the people you both
know.
Status is an indicator of value. Create your own status by creating

your own parties and events.
Leave a good enough impression (fun enough) that they'll want to

include you in other activities.
You don't have to do it all at once. If you are in the same social
network, you will be like to see each other again. Reconnecting is not
an issue.
Be relaxed. Take it easy. The focus is to establish a connection and

standing apart from the rest of the crowd.
Level your social network, will give you a large dividend of return.
LJBF
_____________________
Women need a certain stimulus to change their perception of you -

from the guy they know to that guy they really want to know.
How to approach a "hot" target - women you already know, are

friends with but have yet to make a move on.

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1. Use your familiarity of her to your advantage.
2. Create a noticeable turning point, a new revelation of her - show

her that she's got some thing you haven't seen from her before and
has impressed you. You've changed your mind and are interested.
Women don't want to lose connections. The potential of losing you as
a friend is greater than the potential of gaining you as a lover.
3. Establish in her mind an image of a man she has to know - you're

not the guy she thought you were.
Go out and make her see you with other women - have her see you
interacting, showing that you are a real, confident Alpha man.
Real-time Situation
System to be able to pull yourself into state to call on all that stuff you
memorized.
Situational rehearsal - You must rehearse the stuff you want to use.
Technique for being prepared and to not lose your composure in front
of a woman.
It's not what you open with that's important, but what you say next.
Step 1. Create your own conversational bridge.

Bring up a topic you want to steer the conversation towards.
Example: Your passion for photography
Step 2. Engage your modalities - your senses.

The more of your senses you use, the more things will be embedded
in your mind. Spend some time writing down the words - keywords -
that will trigger ideas in your head like pop culture, food, music,
movies, drama...
Spend time saying these out loud.
Spend time reviewing these things on paper - reading and rereading.

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Step 3. Engage your situation rehearsal technique.
Example: Studying for tests in high school
Spatial relationship - how our mind stores information. More important

to give a relationship to the information you want to memorize, to
make it stick.
Recall and recite these words - in the shower, the kitchen, watching
TV, call home and recite it as a message on your answering machine,
while driving in your call.
Recall and recite while out on a city street.
Get yourself out there - into many types of situations where you have
to recall the same information you're trying to memorize. The more
situations you rehearse in, the better you're going to be when it
actually counts.
Using this technique activates many more neurons to remit this

information deep into your head, your memory. You won't have any of
those embarrassing gaps in your conversations.

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AUDIO DISC 7
Image
_____________________
Looks are not important; image is.
What is image? It is simply the message you are giving a person

based on your appearance. What are you telling people by the way
you look?
For most guys, the message is vague.
It's not your looks your hair, or how good looking you are.
It's what you're doing to create the right impression.
Be deliberate. Does it look like your living on purpose? Women want

to know that you created yourself on purpose - it didn't just happen. It
tells her that you're living your life with purpose and leading your own
life. If you're not leading your own life, how can you lead hers...?
How do you get this image together?

1. Get a good fashion sense.
2. Balding? Are you bald on purpose or are you bald in a way that
says "I'm bald and I don't know how to do this any other way." like
with comb-overs or toupees.
3. If short, get height - with lifts.
4. Get your clothes tailored to fit.
5. Be well-groomed.
6. Accessories - choose the items you'll wear
The key is to look put together, not "pick-up".

Make sure your image is clear, strong, and leading.
Quick Head to Toe Makeover Guide

1. Hair - Make sure you shampoo and condition.

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Get a haircut from a professional hair stylist or barber and get it cut
regularly.
And, make sure that the style is contemporary.
2. Keep skin clear.
3. Eyes - Eyebrows are neatly groomed - no unibrow.
Keep eyewear contemporary and have them fit the shape of your
face.
Other options are to wear contacts or perhaps get laser surgery.
Baggy eyes? Make sure you get enough sleep.
4. Ears - No stray hairs.
5. Mouth. lips, and teeth
6. Facial hair - Keep it well trimmed and neat.
7. Shoulders - Keep good posture.
8. Armpits - Wear deodorant.
9. Chest
10. Stomach - Do a few sit ups to give tone and definition.
11. Hands - Keep smooth and moisturized. Nails are kept short.
12. Hips - Make sure you wear your pants at your waist not around
your knees.
13. Pubic area - Keep hair trimmed .
14. Butt - fitted jeans help to accentuate what you do or don't have.
15. Feet - Take care of them in the same way you would take care of
your hands.
Don'ts...
_____________________
- Don't dress too cool.
- Don't use alcohol or drugs to overcome your approach anxiety.
- Don't reach back into a conversation
- Don't use "cocky/funny" or "neg-ging" without an understanding of
social calibration
- Don't use other people's stories unless you were there or intimately
and emotionally involved in the contents of the story.
- Don't insult or AMOG other guys.
- Don't go out in a bad mood, depressed, or sick.
- Don't show off wealth in any way.
- Don't get addicted to the little victories.

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- Don't ever show jealousy.
- Don't indicate in any way that you're thinking a lot about a woman.
Miscellaneous Tips
______________________
Accept the nature of women - to always surprise you.
Trust the information given in the program. Verify it - try it, see if it
works.
Watch out for the damage control mindset.
You can approach every women but you can't have every woman.
Don't be error focused -become result focused.
Illusion Urgency and Male Panic Syndrome - the idea to do

something quickly in order to save it or fix something.
Introductions - Introduce yourself and then wait to see if she

introduces herself.
Demonstrate rapport - "Rag" on guys - separate yourself from other

guys.
Complimenting - on appearance not looks, appreciate her efforts in

how she put herself together.
Don't be too serious.
Superfast Routine for Going Out: When you've decided to go out, get
in front of the mirror fix your hair, brush your teeth, freshen up your
deodorant, moisturize, put on a light cologne, and put on one bit of
jewelry. Then, untuck your shirt.
Get active.
With DayGame, time is short. You can compress but don't skip to
many steps.

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If you see the interaction will not be possible - forget. Try again next
time.
Create relative static triggers.
Bad attitudes for approachers: Blaming or whining, Supplicating,

Blamers, Haters, Shamers, Safety guy - avoids risks
Essential state when approaching - relaxed and calm.
Don't be too aware of yourself. Forget about you, be more aware of

her.
Focus on one thing, do it right and move on....
Drop failure outcome expectation.
Kino - keep very brief, very incidental, and minimal. You may not even
have to do it at all.
When talking to a beautiful woman, there is always something else

better you can be doing. Talking to a beautiful woman should never
be the highlight of your day.
Tips
_____________________
Texting - part of the process of connecting
Texting - default mode for when you don't want to have full-on
conversation.
Great for reinitiating contact

Building attraction and rapport
Baiting for her interest in you

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Texts don't require a lot from a person to answer. No set strict time
limit - will read and answer it when she has the time.
Will remind her of your first meeting and how fun it was keep up this
emotional state.
Use something from your first conversation to create a slightly teasing

text.
Maybe from your approach you found out she was a dancer, you can
say "Hey, dancer girl. Learn a few swing steps and I'll see if you've
really got the right stuff."
Always make it humorous and fun. Don't make your first text a
pleading attempt to get her out on a date. It's all about staying on her
radar.
Don't send questions but statements about what's going on in your

life.
Keep them unpredictable and variable in length.

Example from Savoy of LoveSystems.com
Humor
_______________________
Have a light hearted edge - do not take it too seriously.
Seriousness - you have some kind of goal to pursue with her.

Humor cannot be taught.
You can only learn humor from observation and practice. You can
only do it.
Free association - take any thing a woman says and "riff" on it.
Observe something and use your imagination to see how far you can
stretch it - making it fun and silly.

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Tin-Tin Example
Playful Misinterpretation or Role Reversal
Examples: "I really don't put out on a first date." "I'm not ready to be
in an relationship right now. My heart... it feels fragile." "I swear, all
you girls think about is just one thing." "God, you're such perverts." "I
bet you just want me for my body."
"Oh my god! Did you just touch my butt, feel me up?", etc.
Taken her female role and reversed it so that you're the one saying
the thing s women normally say.
Get the energy riled up in her - the sexual tension dynamic.

Big Deal Out of Nothing Examples
Not a lot of time for DayGame approaches - no time for the

comedian/jokester.
Be playful - you'll find more success with the approach and you'll
build rapport quickly.
No approach is all that serious or all that important.

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AUDIO DISC 8
Practice and Exercises
______________________
Accomplishments Card
- 3x5 card, cut in half
- Write down all your major accomplishments
- Don’t disqualify your accomplishments
- Any accomplishment - just doing something well is enough.
- Positive present tense
- Keep the card on you and review to boost your value as well
as create conversation topics.
She’s Not Better Than You!

- Walk around in environments with attractive women.
- “She’s not better than me!”
- Justify it!
- Find the flaws and the possible downside.
- Inner dialogue to justify your own internal value and
confidence.
- Pick up a magazine to find the women.
Find Your Level

- Have the lifestyle to approach women, where you don’t care
about her situation
- Figure out where you are on the sliding scale of approaching
- No driving during the exercises!
- Where can you start and actually talk to a woman?
- Your own initiative
- Place, circumstances, intent
- Online
- Part 1 - Where are you now?
- Part 2 - Where could you grow and expand?
- Play it every 10 yards!
- Do what you can manage, and the goal is inevitable
Find Your Word

- Ask friends, then acquaintances
- Find out other people’s perceptions

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- “If you had to describe me in one word, what would it be?”
- Make it anonymous if necessary
Disqualifiers
- List ten reasons you would reject or refuse a woman.
- How much mistreatment will you accept in your life?
- Examples: Education level, drama queen, attitudes,
behaviors, religion, affiliations, job, sexual skill
- Most people don’t lift you up
- The income example
- Similar attitudes
- Is this judging people?
- When it’s good and bad to judge
Rehearsing Relaxation
- Observe others and how they are affected by their
environment
- Wear on the chair
- Raise your heart rate
- Recognize the feelings first
- Talk yourself down to a release
- Example
- Go Blue exercise: Imagine RED when you go into anxiety
- Seek the Blue state - associated with relaxation
- Condition with the colors
Zero Take
- Nothing free in this day
- Reduce your expectations about entitlement
- Learn appreciation for value you’re given
- We don’t appreciate what is free
- The most valuable things were given to you
- ALL GIVE DAY
- Give to other people
- Give money, time, advice, compliments
- My charity event example
- GRATITUDE DAY
- No limitations on behavior
- Contemplate the gifts you have
- Learn how to want what you already have

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- What are you grateful for?
- What separates you from the pack is WHY you’re out
there approaching women
- Schedule the days in each year to refresh your memory
Warmups
- The “Cold” Environment
- Letting go of our thinking
- You are brainwashing yourself every day
- The Forest example of thinking
- A day of approaching with obligatory responders:
- “What time is it?”
- “Can you tell me where...”
- Asking for directions?
- Building response potential
- Approach clerks, anybody
- Get it to the point where you desperately WANT to do more
Opener Practice
- Start initiating contact with other people
- Stretching the interaction out to be more interactive.
- Obligatory openers
- 70-80% of anxiety dissipates when you just interact regularly
with people
Assume Her Mindset

- Looking at the world through another person’s eyes
- Get another person to feel like they were heard and
understood
- Join into the conversation that she’s having in her head
- Not just assuming based on the environment, but really
getting into their mindset
- The grocery store example
- Sometimes it’s better to sympathize than to tease
Ramble Talk
- We self-censor our thinking and it affects your speech
- We are trying to get rid of the critic in our thoughts
- Remove ummms and uhs...
- Leave spaces if they’re thoughtful

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- Filling space is a cheap filler that communicates low
confidence
- Breaking down the barriers - free flowing mind to mouth
Environmental Ownership
- Become familiar with the staff and the environment
- Get physically acquainted with the location
- Be present in the room with people
- Relax into the environment
- Thought Experiment
- Habit to implement
Confrontation Avoidance
- List all the areas where you’re afraid or avoiding interaction
because of the possible outcome
- List all the situations where you avoid challenging a woman
because you fear rejection
- Where do you avoid confrontation?
- Why are you avoiding that situation?
- Letting things go means that you have to make an excuse up
for your mind to accept it
- Personal and professional life list
- These areas weigh on your self-esteem because they don’t
get resolved
- It’s important in approaching because you want to manage
situations when they happen rather than later when you lose
the moment
- Journal them and strategize to solve them
Quirky Faces
- Mirror work
- Loose gestures with your expression
- Model kids
- Facial expressions trigger emotions - 2-way basis
- Practice different emotions
- Micro expressions
Triggers
- Emotional Slippery Slope

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- Start with a stimulus and your nervous system goes down a
path of automatic thoughts
- Recognition is the first step
- Notice your autopilot thought processes
- Defuse the triggers
- Make this a monthly practice
- Open the Hand of Thought
- Let go of thinking and automatic chains of thought

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DISC 9: Turbo Disc
Get your state pumped up!
If you don't have regular social contact during the day, you have an
added challenge to get approaching.
Bust out of that shell!
Make some social contact during the course of the day
Get out of your current frame of thinking, because it insulates you...
Just because you're shy doesn't mean you can't be social.
What antisocial really means...
Every person you meet can be a social contact for you - friends,
lovers, business partners...
You are unique - just like everybody else.
Start with your mood. Get into "face-painter" mode.
Get into an energetic state - like Storm.
Every person has the same physical body - the only difference is in
the thinking
Every so often the Loserboy voice will creep in - Never let him in -
bitch slap him down!
Action is where everything happens...
The Car Analogy
The fuel is your motivation
1. Get physical in some way - get your body warmed up to pull

you out of your head

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Your emotional reset button
Physical activity shuts down your neurotic thinking
The Dynamic Tension warmup
Get out of your car and get around the block
Get amped up mentally - in the right headspace
Using Anthems to get you mentally alert, active, and believing in

yourself
"Watch out world... Here I come..."
2. Review your positive qualities list
Get psychologically attached to each one on the paper
Get fully associated
You have to get back in touch with your feeling of value
Most of the women are not as "high quality" as you think
3. Raise your state - with music
4. Set your Breathing
Proper breathing is very rare
Most people breathe high up in their chest, when you should be

breathing as deep as you can into your body.
30 seconds minimum of good breathing
Breathe into your stomach - inhale once, exhale three times
Exhale/Inhale - Keep filling, hold and then exhale once slowly

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Hum
Do the breathing in a standing position
3-in/out - fast breathing - quick movement of the diaphragm like a

bellows.
5. Visualization exercise
Set the stage, create an environment like the place you're going in
detail.
Go through the visualization and imagine the successful situations

first.
How to go crazy with the visualization
Go straight through to the close
Don't rehearse failure, only success.
The White Tiger Exercise - ADVANCED TECHNIQUE!
How to challenge yourself in your mental rehearsal
Overcome obstacles
The Hero Scene
How to create the visualization
Believe that everybody out there is pulling for you
The scene is your LIFE
6. Review Your Disqualifiers
Filter out MOST of the women you meet as not for you
There has to be certain criteria that a woman has to meet for you

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Know your quality vs. quantity
7. Situational rehearsal
Run through your openers
Stories - What are your stories, and how would you connect to them
in conversation?
8. Get to the close
The human mind HATES uncertainty - it's a form of torture
REMOVE UNCERTAINTY
Lead her to give you her contact information or bridge to another date
Whenever possible - inoculate
Flake prevention
You are the Superior Man
Most excuses are a lack of creative discipline
Choose the best of the best
You only care if this woman can give you the best she has
Your fear is the definition of yourself
Your passion is the core of your existence
Without your passions and purpose you will lead a weak and
impotent existence
Stop wanting women to be "easier"
A woman wants to know that you do not depend on HER

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There are only two options: Fear or Mastery
Don't ever let a woman become the center point of your life, or your
compass will spin wildly out of control

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AUDIO DISC 10
MASTER CLASS: Diego Garcia
Model - 4 Energies
Rapportive/Excitement
Platonic/Romantic
These four energies exist in a spectrum.

Experiment with them - can under do and over do them.
Goal is to find the "sweet spot".
(Part of the ebook "Open Dimensionally" which is included in this

program. See the PDF file.)
Exciting/Platonic - Openers
Examples:
- "Have you ever heard of a gay puppy?"
- " Quick, what's a fifth ocean?"
- " Get this. I'm going to ask you five questions and, I want you to
answer them all wrong."
Rapportive/Platonic - Openers
Examples:
- "Hey, do you know what time the next train is coming?"
Situational openers - casual, situational not random, clearly elements
close to the environment.
They are good to open with but, you don't want to stay in this state
too long.
It gets boring fast!

Shift to other energies in the spectrum - escalate by making it more
exciting or more romantic.
Exciting/Romantic - Openers

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Example:
You - "You must think I'm from the library?"
Her: - "Why?"
You - "Because you've been checking me out all night long..."
It has more flirty energy. It's playful.

It is high risk with high reward because you're throwing out a really
strong vibe.
Rapportive/Romantic - Openers
Example: "Hey, can you evaluate this poem for me?"
A more suave approach.
4 Levels of a Conversation
Deals mostly with rapport
Rapport Spectrum - Conversational Depth
1. Service level: news, events, weather, Hollywood gossip. Subjects

everybody
can relate to/with.
2. Your opinion or your partner's opinion on the subject
3. Long standing belief or attitude
4. Deep seeded emotional issue
Same topic thread, delves deeper into the others psyche.

Build connection that someone would not to separate from.
Excitement Spectrum
Games, Tricks, Jokes
Parasympathetic Nervous System -> Fight or Flight Response ->

Adrenaline
Sympathetic Nervous System -> Rest and Repose Response ->

Dopamine, Seratonin

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How do you bridge? Find the connective tissue that keeps the
conversation going.
Leadership - You can lead any conversation anywhere you want.

Inspired by emotion.
References to Toastmasters.com
Leno, Letterman, Conan O'Brien

Your the host. They're the guest. Your show!
Closers
- Possible "instant date": propose a casual, light invitation. Low
pressure.
- "Seeding", setting a possible date: mention a cool event without
inviting her... yet.
Getting Her Information

Example:
How many email addresses do you have?
Which do you use more often?

How do you spell it? Susie Q's email...
Write it , slide it over, she'll give it... conditioned to fill the form.
Conscious responses lead to connection.

Unconscious responses lead to division.
Let's see what happens.

This is going to be fun.
Models:
She's the employer. I'm he employee. I'm trying to get a job at her
place.
I'm the employer. She's the employee. I'm going to see if she has
anything of value to bring to my company.

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Understanding your intention before going out.
Low pressure invitation.
You can get more information on Diego

Garcia and his work with the Stylelife.com
group by clicking HERE...

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AUDIO DISC 11
MASTER CLASS: Lance Mason
What guys should know...

- Technique: "conversational threads" not stories
Be comfortable. Be confident. Have fun.
Easy Opener:
Do you have the time? What time is it?
Bridge: As she checks her watch, you say... "Well, actually, I already
know what time it is. I just came over to flirt with you."
Men are visually stimulated. Women are not.
Practice. Get in front of the mirror.
Difference between "Day" and "Night" Game
Anything that works at night works in the day - true to an extent. It's
only half successful.
Key difference: When women are out in bars (social environment),

they are ready to be social. She'll be reactive almost every time.
Women during the day are not (always) ready to be social. They are
in an analytical state or in their heads.
Their social brain is inactive.
"Pre-Opener" - What time is it?
Women are empathic and want to be around when the energy is

good.
Get in front of the mirror and practice the "Male Cleavage"

- A big smile, "Shit eating grin"

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Use one opener that you're comfortable with and practice it all the
time and with everybody...
- Women you're attracted to and not attracted to

- "Hired Guns"
If you're in a situation and you feel like you can't do it, don't.
Only do it when you feel comfortable to do so.
"Back Pocket" Opener

You have this one opener and it's always ready.
Another difference between Day and Night Game...

There is time to prepare for night game.
Time is short - is there opportunity to approach?
Rapport - Level of connection to keep it going

Get deep rapport as quickly as possible.
"Small Talk"
You want women to say... "I met this guy. He was awesome!"
You want them in a state where they can't even articulate the
connection.
Go beyond the surface things - go deeper. Emotional.

Example: Iowa - Why did you move? Do you miss it?
The answers to these questions will say a lot about her.
Rapport = Deep Emotional State

Deep Rapport = Shared Emotional State
Connection Story
- To show that yo feel what she's feeling
You can take a situation and make it more intense.

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Meet a woman. Get to know her better in 15 minutes than her last
boyfriend did in 6 months.
The reality... It is so easy!
Guys don't know how to connect with their own emotions.
Important that connection stories come from your own life - a real
story and not someone else's. they don't have to be dramatic, just
something you connect with emotionally.
Stories to relate what kind of relationships you want in your life.
Casually date - connect with the root of that.
Genuine/Sincere
"Talk about why, not the what." - Carlos
Be open to feel.
Pay attention to what makes people unique.
Exercise: Watch TV shows/movies. Pay attention to how the

characters evolve.
Vulnerability- showing this is key.

Deep Rapport Story - Stories you can't tell without crying.
Romance Novels
- Stoic "Alpha" male figure breaks and becomes vulnerable at some
unique quality he sees in her.
Movie Moment Approach

How rapport is the most powerful form of attraction
From total strangers to deep emotional connection - "The Nuclear

Bomb"
The Surface connection - "Me too" mistake

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The point is not the story, but to increase your emotional range
The guitar story and figuring out if it's a connection
Natural, in the moment when you're in the right state.
How to... connection story - "Mythical You Story"
Describe where you're at. Your life.
Tell a story, not to impress but to connect.
Don't assume what you're doing is boring - it's up to you to get it

exciting
You can get more information on Lance

Mason and his work with Pickup 101 by
clicking HERE..

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AUDIO DISC 12
MASTER CLASS: Oliver Turner
What is the source of approach anxiety...

Starbucks story
Approach anxiety will pop up, but you can feel that fear and go ahead
anyway
The Rollercoaster Example - the rise to the top, the scare, then the
dip and the rush...
Commit yourself to get on the rollercoaster each time
It's all about habits - what do you do when you feel the fear? How do
you react?
You choose how you react to the "rejection"
Maintain the feeling of feeling good
The unknown is the fear
Fear of embarrassment or humiliation
Their opinions don't matter - be immune to criticism - bulletproof vest.
Even if you fail, other people will envy your courage
The fear response exercise - ask any question and just walk away.
One every day for 30 days.
The mindset is to have NO mindset.
The car example of eventual mastery
The belief that you are a GIFT
Every woman will have the time of their life with me.

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She will feel good and have an adventure.
Most guys will not give her positive emotions. This is where any guy
can out-perform 90% of the “players” out there.
What is the mindset of the daytime approacher?
The key is to start small and build a habit

Never judge a book...
Accept what is not currently in your perception or reality
Set low standards for yourself at the start - in the beginning.
This is to ensure that you succeed and accomplish it fast.

Build yourself up to be naturally attractive to women.
Consistent and steady improvements are the necessary skill.

Dedicate a block of time to improving your dating life proactively - in
the field.
Confidence when you're out is about how you feel and your current
mood.
Program yourself into a good mood every single day.
Replay in your memory to get back into the experience.
Creating relaxation imagery and triggering your mind to relax.
Start warming up by being social.
Get yourself talkative so you have a smaller gap to cross when you're
faced with opportunity.
Daygame is about energy and calibration.
The Shiny Object Situation

Women are around everywhere you go - opportunity abundance

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Things are more flexible.
Daygame approaching is a rare skill that really impresses women.
The high-speed approach.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do
The quick approach opener

Answer the question that is going on in her head - even without her
speaking to you
Where do you find women in daytime spots?
Colleges, malls, beaches, coffee shops
The direct approach method
Walk up, tell her that you're interested, you want to get to know her
Be picky about who you hang with
She has to be interesting, or just walk away
What do you say when you approach?
Pacing her reality - say something true about the environment
Totally Random Cute opener
The pause is important to let her feel what you said
How do you build the conversation and stay ON?
Spontaneous and in-the-moment as opposed to planned
Active Listening to create connection
Listen and relate to what she's saying
Body language and interaction.

Address her reactions and read her state

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Preventing flaking - You can't solve 100% because it's outside your
control.
Some women are attracted but they're just scared
Give her a unique experience on the approach.
KEY TEST:
She may flake as a way to see how you respond to her flaking.
You can get more information on Oliver

Turner and his work with Captivate to
Connect by clicking HERE..

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AUDIO DISC 13
MASTER CLASS: Scot McKay
Source of Approach Anxiety
Any guy who's said he's never had approach anxiety is probably
lying...
It's natural for men to see a woman he's attracted to and have
nervous energy.
- Likens it to pro athletes who know they have to have something big
happen in an important game.
- Not only from excitement of potentially meeting women but also
from the act of letting our brains get away from us.
- Imagination, idealization of women has gotten men to the point that
they can't even talk to them anymore.
Act before you think!
Don't give women the satisfaction of knowing that you like her.
Don't want to get beat by a woman - giving her the upper hand.
Stop viewing every single interaction you have with a woman as a
competition.
Mindset before an approach?
She's human. I'm a fun, outgoing guy and I'm just going to make
conversation.
I'm gonna see what can do to brighten someone else's life and make
my own life interesting in the process.
No agenda.

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Think of yourself a being worthy of talking to a beautiful woman. And,

after talking to her, you may find...
Transition from non-approacher to approacher?
Be intentional.
Take a stand and be a man.
Just do it.
Start slow -> "hired guns", waitresses, flight attendants

These are women who expect to be talked to - talk to them.
Say that you're not afraid to talk to women.
Intentionalize this and it will turn into a habit over time.
What do you believe about women so that you can approach?
Women want to be approached.
Women are just as insecure as men when it comes to the subject of

dating and relationships.
Women want to be swept off their feet.
If you're willing to get to know them, put aside your need for potential
sexual connection. Relate to them.
Prize for Women - Long Term Commitment

Prize for Men - Sex
You can understand women better.
Steps from no approach to approaching at least 1 woman a day

- Stop viewing it as a contest

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- Realize that women are human being and are subject to the same
kinds of
insecurities as men. And, are sometimes more impacted by them
than men are.
- Get out. Put yourself in a position where you will be seen... Go

dancing, karaoke,
happy hour, the bank, your local fast food joint.
- The women don't have to be attractive
Get the mindset of enjoying relating to women.
Enjoy what you learn through the process.

When you can approach a woman you are not attracted to as fluidly
as a woman you are attracted to... You are trustworthy.
No hidden agenda = Authenticity
How do you get confidence when you're out and about?

Routines and Rituals
Guys pressure themselves to be in "state".
If you've had a bad day, you don't feel good - Don't force yourself to
do it.
It's supposed to be fun. Don't make it "work" or a job for you.

Make it a choice.
Always leverage small successes towards big successes.
If you get one email or telephone number that day, go out and get 10
more...
If you get one "online" response, send out 10 emails to prospective

matches...

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Look your best/ Be well groomed.
- Wear a light cologne
- Keep hair neat
- Nails groomed
- Stylish clothes
How does a guy get out of his head and into the present
moment?
Get it done as fast as possible - the 5 second rule.
Take yourself less seriously.
You like too help other people feel better.

A really cool guy doesn't impose how cool he is to others.
How do you feel when you are rejected?

"No matter who you are... you can't kiss all the girls."
There will always be some women who don't want you.
Don't hinge it all on the opinion of a woman - positive or negative.
Take life as it comes.
How do you feel when you've had NO success?

Get up and move on...
Outer Game
Bars/Clubs vs. DayGame
DayGame is better.
Women are not expecting to be approached.

What you see, is what you get.
A woman is more likely to be herself in the day than when she's in a

bar or club.
Talk to a woman without the intention of hitting on her and you're

more likely to have a normal conversation with her.

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How does a guy make maximum impact on his image/
appearance?
- Haircut
- Shower everyday and after a workout.
- Belt and shoes match
Get help.
Be prepared to meet women and look the part.
Be unique. Find a style that works for you. Stand out.
Short time frame?
Direct game.
Women respond to leadership.
Sweep her off her feet - boldly and confidently.
No hesitation - liken it to a fist fight. Hit hard, hit fast.
Where do you find women to meet for DayGame?
Online
Other than that - EVERYWHERE! Shopping, airplane flights, single
moms...
System or structure to approach? What do you strive to accomplish?

- Starting something social
- Getting to now someone
- Brighten someone else's day and thus doing the same for yourself.
Prefers no system or structure for not wanting to be dependent on

anything other than authenticity.
If you have trouble with finding the words to say next, you need to
work on your authenticity.
Don't ask questions.

Don't assume your bothering her.
Say something bold.
Display leadership - boldness and confidence.

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How do you build attraction and rapport? Qualify?
Attraction:
- Masculinity, Boldness = Leadership
- Not controlling, but be in control
Rapport:
- Potential for connection, friendship
- Show vulnerability, not false approval
Qualify:
- Are they sweet?
- Do they have a warm glow in their eyes?
- Do they have an inherent distrust of men?
Get her to talk about something she's passionate about. It will show
you she can be passionate about you once she gets to know you.
What do you say to a group of women?
"Ladies..., (never refer to them as girls, bitches, or hos)

and follow with... what you were going to say.
Example: "I'd like to ask you a question."
You can qualify the women by their answers and even by how they
interact with each other.
What do you say to a mixed group (men and women)?

Know that if you approach this, you are going to shut down. But, if
you must -
Talk to the guys first.
Look for the relationships within the group. Co-worker? Single?

Related? Married?

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Focus on being social. The less you have an agenda, the better off
you are.
How do you start a conversation going and keep it going?
Let women talk. They like it when you show you care. Take a real
interest in what she has going on.
- Stay in tune with current events.

- Know what women like and learn some things about it.
- Useless information is actually pretty useful stuff for conversation.
- Have a stupid human trick? Share it.
- Know how to fix things, make them work. Solve common, everyday
situations.
Do you use anything memorized?
Don't depend on routines or techniques...
However, when you know something works, remember that it worked.
When you know what people responded positively to, you know it
works.
Closest thing to memorized material - famous quotes, funny jokes,

bad puns are pulled out hen necessary.
Have a collective reasoning of what's worked in the past.
How can a guy feel "on" to keep a conversation going?

Have confidence -Try stand up comedy.
Focus on her
Respond with something interesting that still ties into what she was
talking about.
Her body language...

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Body language for a guy - should they watch/pay attention to their
own?
Her body language is a huge indicator of her interest level.
Very important - a woman's body language is going to tell you she if

she's interested in you.
- Is she turning toward you or away from you?

- Is she looking away when you're talking to her or is she holding eye
contact?
Her playing with her hair or pouting her lips - women know about all
this.
If they aren't attracted to you, they will avoid giving any signals.
However, there are some women who are just friendly - being
coquettish and talk to any guy that's there. It's more an exception
than the norm...
If she's talking to you, interacting with you - showing signs of being

nervous, even if she's enjoying herself. That means she likes you.
For the men:

Don't fidget.
Don't mess or pick at your nails.
Don't look down. Make strong eye contact.
Straight posture.
Don't do anything that shows your submissive.
Face a woman with open body communication - Don't cross your

arms. Palms face forward, open.
Don't touch her. She'll let you know when she's ready for that.
Be patient.
Be in control.

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How do you handle a phone call or text?
Call her. Texting is to be used when a live conversation isn't

appropriate.
You're a guy who likes to talk on the phone - not do a hit and run with
texting.
You want it to get off on the right foot.

If you, get voicemail that's cool but have her call back.
SM doesn't believe in the 3 day rule....he believes in the, "I'm not

needy and I do have options." Rule. Therefore, he'll call you when he
damn well feels like it.
If you get voicemail, you have two choices:

1. Leave you name and say, "Call me."
2. Leave your name and a touchstone - something from or about your
interaction that she'll remember
How do you prevent flakes in the 1st date?
Direct game
Looking for a woman with strong character. One way to know this if a
woman does what she says she's going to do.
This applies to everything in life.
What's your objective?

To brighten her day.
What do you do to get a woman attracted to you?
Be masculine.
Be confident.
Inspire confidence in her. Make her feel comfortable.

Be a man of character.

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Fun, exciting, intriguing...
What are you wiling to do to get a woman interested? What won't you
do?
Not beg or grovel. EVER.

Not sacrificing own integrity.
Not lie about anything.
Not sacrificing dignity or self respect.
Be authentic.
How do you feel when approaching?
Make sure you're in the right state.

Expect butterflies, embrace the feeling.
Take the attitude: I'm here to do something nice for someone else.
Give her the experience she wants, then she'll reciprocate. that is, if
she's a quality woman. If she's just take, take, take in the interaction,
she's not for you.
Why would a woman resist or make it difficult?
If you have a hidden agenda, that you want something from her -
trying to butter her up, sweet talk her - to get what you want (SEX),
she's not going to respond.
If you're genuinely caring about her and what she's like (beyond her
looks), then its going to be easier to approach.
It's all in how you lead the interaction - If you're nervous, she's going
to feel ill at ease because that's where you're leading her.
Being bold and confident, will make her empowered to take to you.
What advice helps with their development?

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Believe that women want to talk to you.
Women want real men.
Put away the shame of being male.
Put away shame for being a sexual man.

Rid yourself of limiting beliefs.
You can get more information on Scot McKay

and his work with X & Y Communications by
clicking HERE..

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AUDIO DISC 14
MASTER CLASS: David Wygant
Approach anxiety is you making up a fantasy about the woman that

you're looking at.
You're making her larger than life. You then psyche yourself out.
She does everything you do, even the gross stuff. Every person is
exactly the same.
The way David broke through was to simply just say hello to women
to build a foundational belief.
The first few will be tense, but you will loosen up. You'll get bored of
just saying hello.
Treat every person exactly the same.
The role play example. The face is the mask over the person that's on
the inside. Ignore the mask.
Talk to women that intimidate you.
Put less pressure on yourself at all times.
Do not approach women for the sake of getting a phone number.

The problem is that pickup techniques do not teach you how to be a
good conversationalist.
5 "W"s - Who What Where Why How
Stay out of your head:

You don't need to impress her; she needs to impress YOU.
Take an improv class, practice conversation.
Practice your listening skills

Watch scenes from movies to practice remembering details

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If you don't succeed:
Abundance mentality or minimalist mentality.
There's always another woman.

Rejection doesn't mean that she didn't like you or wasn't attracted
that means that you didn't fit her life at that moment.
It's not about YOU.
Everything in life is about playing the odds.

You can't beat the odds, but you can PLAY the odds.
If you've had no success that day:

Every day if you try, you'll get better.
Practice the basics over and over and you'll become a PRO
Life is about repetition.
The High School Story - Laura Stewart Moment

You can't be successful with EVERY woman.
They're all the same.
If you're not getting what you want:

Give up! NOT.
It can get you down, but it can't stop you.

Get to the point of frustration to push yourself into action.
The Difference between Day and Night game

Lose the game analogy - Connect with women instead.
Women are looking to create a moment.
The muffin moment example

Save her from the bar and the night game.
Women want a "magic moment" that she can talk about over and
over.
They romanticize "moments" again and again.

They want you to be a story, not a cliche.

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Your image has to fit your personality.
Cultivate an image. It will take time to create, and it will change.

Get pictures in magazines of clothes you like.
Go to stores and try on as many clothes as you can to find your sizes
and good fits.
Get opinions from the clerks, too.
The dress determines the woman.
Never wear athletic sneakers with jeans, or the free t-shirts.

Wear things that are cool, hip, and define your personality.
Have something in jewelry - just don't go overboard.

Have one cool element, like a watch or necklace.
Some locations will have different standards.
The street opener is the rarest case - and it's a rush situation.
Ask for directions.
Use the STOP!
Handling a woman with a dog - her pet is an extension of her.
Focus on the locations where a woman is already stopped and at her

destination.
Favorite places are where YOU go every day.
Make a list of the top 5 places you go. These locations will give you
more conversation because they're real to you and you have things to
talk about.
Structure:
Get into a mode of observation for 2 weeks to get your inner game
set.

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Become aware of your surroundings. Write down what you could
have done in that situation.
Women are about being in the moment, so this lends to you feeling
like you are as well.
Feel attracted and also have her feeling intrigued by you.
Reinforcing that they're great, and that they're great as they are.
The key about observing is that you're able to pay attention to details
and getting out of your head.
You'll also be paying attention.
Don't exclude anyone from any conversation, ever.
She will push her friends on you to test how you behave, and she'll
learn about you.
The more interactions you have with the friends, the more she will be
attracted to you.
To keep a conversation going, you must listen to what she's saying.

Roleplaying example.
Search for something to take the conversation to the next level.

Be more inquisitive.
Body Language:
Forget about a woman's body language - pay attention to your own.
Film yourself and start talking. This will give you feedback on posture
and appearance.
Do yoga.

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Read a book to kids to build your animation.
Practice your voice.
You can get more information on David

Wygant and his work by clicking HERE..

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AUDIO DISC 15
MASTER CLASS: Love Systems
Approach Anxiety:
It gets easier when you approach and get a little better at it.
Perceived loss of social value.
No one really cares.
What are you thinking about the guy who actually does approach the
girl?
Painful loss of identity. Approaching challenges your self-image and

identity.
The more you do it, the more you realize that you create this identity.
Your brain is hardwired for comfort.
Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.

The best are always the ones that fail the most.
To know victory, you must know defeat.
Courage isn't an absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.
When it's in your self-concept, you will be able to do it. You must see
yourself being able to do it.
There is some hesitation, but it gets easier, like jumping into a cold
pool.
When you think of the first few reasons why you shouldn't approach,
make those reasons the reasons TO approach.
This will reverse the mental excuses into enablers.
You make assumptions based on previous experience - but that

experience may not be accurate.
Test all assumptions.

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Get proximity as a way to work your way in.
Start small as a method to get going.
Functional openers to get conversations started.

Don't overthink!
The more you think, the less likely you are to act.
Create the image of the man you want to be, then act in congruency
with that image.
Out of every opportunity you see, take all of them to make a

successful day.
Visualize about that person who is actually who you want to be.
Imagine being that person. The more you visualize this, the more you
are likely to actually do this.
"I'm high value, cool and interesting."

"I want her, but I don't NEED her."
You should always be the one with value.

Boundaries example for Rude Women.
Beliefs About Women:

Limiting beliefs around women
Women love sex as much as men do, but are on a different timetable.
Women want to be approached, just in the right way.
Women like being approached, because they know they are not
going to do the approaching.
The approach during the day demonstrates the willingness to take

risks, which also indicates future success.
Act regardless of how you feel if it's what you want.

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Great people don't want to do the things you don't want to do, they
just make them a habit to do them anyway.
Control the controllables.
Look your best - as you can within your control.
Rejection is a natural part of life.
The guys that are the most successful have been rejected the most.
Your body wants you to learn and calibrate from the experience of
failure - not to give up!
Give her a reason to talk to you by giving some value to the

interaction.
When you have the woman of your dreams in your life, all the things
you did to get her will be worth it.
Getting rejection is the way to get good at dating science.

Fake it 'til you make it.
You can push your personality in any way you want if you're willing to
work on it.
Overcoming shyness means becoming the person you want to be.

The differences between day and Night Game:
1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls

in the daytime than they do at night.
People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t
they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to f*ck off?” The truth is it’s no
less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in
a bar.
I used to think girls were going to react really badly, when in fact, they
probably react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night,
they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it
happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by
your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach

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anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go open
them!
2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than
night game.
There are a lot of venue consideration in DayGame, but in many
situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really
bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a
bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and
want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it
comes across as less congruent.
Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I
just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely
beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello.
How are you?” direct openers are also massively important for
moving sets.
Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop
moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just
need to be committed enough to your direct opener. When you open
a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are
and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving,
wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow
them.
3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night

game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of
Social Pressure they involve.
You have the streets (my favorite), cafés, bookstores, art galleries,
college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so
you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep
girls out.
The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other
people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the
Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the
girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold.

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First, don’t go too direct, either open indirectly or tone down your
Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”). Second,
have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The
strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her
will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel
uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with
time and practice.
But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act
on the outside. Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or
otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the
interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a
fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some
creepy guy on the subway.
4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs?
There is one reason why: alcohol. It normally starts happening after
everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their
buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit
scared of the uber-hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at
her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say
hello.
Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll
be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say,
“Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on
the street to say that!”
5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game
than night game.
The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already
demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct (good on ya!), then this
is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a
matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the
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qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part
of this.
The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her
which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a
few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress
shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kinda
gay - so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly
like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the
situation.
6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and

can take them by surprise.
This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above
it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and
they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being
weirded out.
On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked
her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns
into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very
rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do
approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to
remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night
game set).
The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience
(especially if you use a direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation,
e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it
all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me,
but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in
letting opportunities pass you by.”
7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of
social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your
game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim,

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but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your
time overcoming is logistics.
The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing
other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a
phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this
doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays! In
the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue
changes than end up back at your place.
More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go

home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get
her to come out to a party with you that night. Guys, you need to get
out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone
numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their
digits.
Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a
drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that
day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what
else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world
of logistical management!
8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than
in night game.
Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to
meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a
random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day.
Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see
you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the
daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of
opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present
yourself as well as humanly possible.
Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your
hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers, homeboy).
All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her
when you stop her in the middle of the street.

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9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even
though they really are not.
It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and
it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime.
Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to
another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but
you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl
you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve
of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start
escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might
be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her
and qualifying her a little.
This of course is not everything there is to know about Day Game,
but I’ve covered some of the most salient points here that I think a lot
of people miss about this fine art.
The most important thing guys, is to take action. I have sarged with
so many people who excel in night game, but choke in the daytime.
You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the
day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that
once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and
experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being
willing to burst through that barrier.
The shields are down during the day. Indirect is more effective.
Energy levels are completely different.
Logistics are more important during the day.
Something distinct about your appearance provokes a reaction.
When you talk to them and connect to them, those distinctions all turn
positive.
The distinction of your image and who you are - why you don't want
to dress outside your character and what a woman senses from it.
ONE MINUTE RUSH JOB:

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- Using the time constraint to demonstrate social skills and calibration
- Example of rush introduction
- Find a functional reason to see her again, or find a way to add value
to her life
- Basically, find any excuse you can to bridge the gap to the next
meeting
The best places:
Cafe's, Bookstores, street,
When in a static location where there isn't as much motion, use less
direct openers to lower the pressure on her. If in motion, then you can
transition with a more direct opener.
System or Structure:
Get to know her better first
Success Barriers - where guys stop acting because they're afraid of
success or jeopardizing their current ego boost.
The Extended Connection example - The "Door Bitch" - Close for
what you can when you approach.
3 Things To communicate - Passion, Value, Show exclusive sexual
interest
Using a direct opener is still a bridge to a conversation.
Get her to laugh in the first 30 seconds.
The Direct Opener Example
Start with a functional (or obligatory) opener, then transition the
conversation
The point of opening is purely to get into a conversation with her.
Rapport Building
When you first start talking with a woman you go wide and not deep.
Attraction is skimming and wide.

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When you go into rapport, you go deep.
Recognize a woman for her "Golden Mirror" - Examples
"This job doesn't seem to satisfy you creatively... is this what you
really want to do?"
Talk in emotions instead of logic
Example of the "Beach Story"
You can get more information on Soul and

Mr. M and their work with Love Systems by
clicking HERE..

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AUDIO DISC 16
MASTER CLASS: Will Hicks
Approach Anxiety comes from guys thinking too much.

- mental masturbation, playing the game before the game even starts
Thinking: "What is she going to say?"

Thinking: rejection
Thinking: That it's going to be the most horrid experience.
Guys think really bad thoughts.
Overcame approach anxiety by being a smart aleck, messing with

people.
Going up to groups of people and saying, "Hey, guys. What's going

on?"
Not sitting around and waiting to see what is going to happen.
Mindset:
1st: Why am I even talking to this woman? Is this a waste of time?
Is this a woman I even like? Is this woman even sociable?
Thinking about "getting" with this woman - What's the gameplan?
Factors
- Where on the street is she?
- Walking at a brisk pace? Do you have to stop her?
- Is he going into a store?
If she's worth it, wait until she's in a stopped position.

Example: At a light, both waiting to cross. Going into a store and
walking up to her.

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First thing to do when going to approach?
Get all the ideas of it going to be a bad experience out of your head.
The worst things that could possibly happen, don't happen.

- worse case scenario is she says no.
The no is not always directed at you.
Timing - her time of the month, stress, had a bad day...
Beliefs that allow you to approach easily/quickly:
- Every woman will accept you with open arms, glad you came over
- Every woman will appreciate that he came over o talk to her
- Going to be a good time, have fun. Most guys go out like it's a job.
Even if you didn't get numbers or talk to a lot of women, you should
still have fun.
Women can feel vibe way better than men.

If you go up to a women expecting for good thing s to happen, she'll
feed off of that.
Steps for men to follow.
3 Second Rule
Look for eye contact - if prolonged, she's interested in you.
You have a better chance talking to that particular one.
Wingman Exercise - makes it easier to approach
You and your wingman take turns in the same venue.
You go first, walking from one end to the other, your friend walking 12
feet behind you, taking notes of all the women that check you out.
When done, compare notes. You will get a good idea of which women
to approach.

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How do you approach when doing your everyday stuff?
Routines and Rituals
Listen to songs that "pump" you up... Feel good music.
Listen to inspirational/ motivational speakers
All while you're getting ready or in the car on the way to where you're
going.
Talking to guys of the same mindset as you - with positive attitudes.

Those going in the same direction as you are.
How does a guy get out of his head and into the present moment
of approach?
- You're your own biggest obstacle.

- Put it out of your mind and just go and do it.
- You're there to have a good time.
- You're there to make friends.
- Think that the women will love you and they can't keep their hands
of you.
- Have a "could care less" attitude if anything doesn't happen
- Less pressure with "mini" interactions - talk for a bit and then leave,
repeat.
The more interactions you have, the more they will be comfortable
with you.
Example: The Group Introduction
Key Differences between Night and Day Game
Game in bars and clubs goes a lot faster - less time to make
decisions.
There is more competition - all the guys are trying to talk to the same
"hot" chicks.

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Loud music.
Club environment is contained.
DayGame - is more relaxed. you can take your time and feel out a
situation.
Women are friendlier during the day.

Less pressure. More opportunity - because the world is yours.
Downside to day - just getting a number or an email to connect later.

Clubs you may have the opportunity for "play" the same night.
Generally, "meet to sleep" doesn't happen in DayGame.
How do you handle the two approaches differently?
You're dressed differently. "Night" clothes - peacocking.

Daytime - work clothes.
*Best time to approach - lunch time, especially during the summer.*
You don't have to worry about a routine.

Ask a question.
You can say pretty much say anything during the day. It doesn't
matter.
Image and Appearance
Women care about appearance...

Women care about shoes - so be sure to have your "shoe game" on.
Have a nice pair or two...
Hair - a style that looks good on you. And, make sure your stylist is a
girl.
Get in shape.

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Clean cut. Well groomed. Keep it neat.
Clothes that look good for your body type.
Peacocking - works for some. If you're going to do it, do it.

Image also depends on what type of woman you're wanting to
approach.
How you look depends on many factors

- Where you are, the venue
- What kind of women you're trying to meet
- Age
- Cultural aspect can come into play, too.
Time is limited. What do you do?

Direct opener - Get the info so you can get in contact later.
Example: I'm really busy but would really like the opportunity to talk to
you."
Will has only had one instance when a woman said no.
Examples: "Listen, I only have a minute but I wanted to come and

meet you."
"Do you have a card? I have a meeting I have to go to..." "What's

your name?"
Where do you meet women?
Anywhere - Wherever they are, wherever yo are is the spot.

Sometimes taking to women outside of the club is easier like in the
line, outside to smoke, checking out the venue and deciding if they
want to go in.
Stopped traffic, restaurants, and anywhere there's a relaxed

environment - low pressure. In clubs, there is pressure, especially for
men.

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Women already assume you're approaching because you want to
"pick-up" on them, so talk to them. They're expecting it.
You can even tell them, "Hey, I'm not here to pick-up on you but I
thought you were cute and I wanted to talk to you while I wait for my
friends to come out."
Supermarkets, pool halls, malls - and approaches are based on eye

contact.
Talk to women who want to talk to you.
Structure to Approach
Direct Game/ High Probability Dating

He's the one to determine if he's going to talk to this person - not the
other way around. He's not hoping that the woman likes him and
wants to talk to him.
It's about him and if he really wants to talk to this person.
Does she have issues?

Does she have baggage?
What kind of life is she leading?
Is it going to fit into your lifestyle?
Is she worth more than “pretty”?
Pretty is nice but pretty is also a dime a dozen.
Ask yourself: How is this woman going to fit into my life?
Ask a series of questions to determine what kind of issues she has.
- What kind of relationship does she have with her parents, her
family?
What does she do? What did she want to do before?
Who was the disciplinarian in her family? Father or mother?
Who was she close to?

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Who are the people in her past that she has ill feelings towards?
Does she hold grudges? Because the next person could be you...
Explore her childhood experiences before the age of 10 - before they

can rationalize the need to lie.
Genuinely ask the question and sincerely want to know the answer
and they'll talk.
You do the qualifying. Determine if this is the person for you and your
lifestyle.
During the approach, what are you looking to accomplish?
Compatibility
Chemistry
Is she someone you can work with?
See what she's about. Are you going in the same direction?
What's her fitness lifestyle like? How is she living?
Does she have kids? Does she smoke?
Questions you have to ask yourself if you're going to determine if this

woman is for you.
Most guys are willing to accept anything - willing to accept a woman

just because she like him. Never mind that - she might not be
compatible with you and your life.
Have standards, disqualifiers.
The standards will be different for everybody. It's up to you - they

need to be relevant to where you are in life and what you're trying to
do.
Examples of what you say on approach.

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"Hi." "Are you single?" What's your name?" "Hey. What'd I miss?"
It's not so much what you say but how you say it.
Uses situational openers - using events/happenings in the

environment around him.
Example: Looking over the shoulder of a woman texting. Her

girlfriends will notice and giggle. He'll turn away like it wasn't looking
and then go back to looking.
Jokes and has fun with it.
Standing next to a woman, shoulder to shoulder nut looking the other

way.
Likes non verbal openers, too.
Routine: " I had it all planned out ... What I was going to say to you,
but for the life of me, I can't remember any of it. The best I can say is
hi."
How to build attraction and rapport?
First, you're mindset has to be open. That you're approachable.

You're friendly, enjoying her company. Project this with your eyes.
Say things that make her smile.
Get them to open up by asking them questions about them. This also
qualifies her.
Example: Who are you closer to?Mom or Dad?

Siblings? Close to them or not.
There is no set order, Future questions are based on how she
answered the previous ones.

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You can ask way more questions than you can even make
statements.
just build the foundation so that she'll think about you, remember you.
Set a time later to get together.
Approaching groups?
Again, it's not what you say but how you say it.
Example: "Hey, ladies. What'd I miss?" "Is everyone having a good

time?"
It's like you're already in the conversation. The best way to put
yourself in a group is to put yourself in the group and the
conversation. Act like you belong, like you're supposed to be there.
Mess with them. Teasing, joking. Have fun with it.
Generally tries not to approach mixed sets - men and women.

The odds of success are small - beginners to intermediates do not
have the skills to handle that kind of mixed set or larger sets.
Open smaller sets.
Mixed sets - if you're going to approach do it to have fun and be

social.
Make sure you ask what the relationships are within the group.
How to build conversations and keep it going?
Ask questions. You never run out of material...
Mix in some of your routines and stories about yourself.
Go back to asking questions. When women talk about themselves,

they're making a connection with you. You'll feel like you know her,
know things about her.

178
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Remember, you can ask way more questions than you can make
statements.
Body Language
Eye contact
Posture - Men have a rejected look to them before the even go up to
approach.
It shows that they're thinking that it''s going to go badly.

Stand straight, smile, look like you're going to have a good time.
Be there to have fun. Who cares about anything else?

If nothing else happens, you're still having fun.
How to handle the first call...
Depends on the vibe you got from the woman

Recommends the emergency text message: If she saved your
number, your call or text should come through as yours...
Text -> Hey, you. It's me. Call me.
If you get a text message asking "Who's this?" She has erased your
number.
If she calls back right away to find out who called, she didn't save
your number.
Getting zero response tells you something, too..
This will save you a lot of time and headache dealing with her.
Do not take it personally, her not calling.
How to prevent flaking
Depends on the foundation you've laid

179
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- Is she comfortable with you?
Keep it close to home, close to what you do in your everyday life - like
hanging out at each other's homes or having her come out to watch
your basketball game.
Don't make it a big deal - like a big, fancy dinner at an expensive

restaurant.
Closer to to home the better - the less likely she'll flake.

If she did, it's because you were her back up plan.
Best Advice/ Observations
Guys think to much - working themselves into a mental frenzy.

Be comfortable in your own skin.
Learn to have an indifferent attitude toward the outcome of the

approach.
Don't take it personally.
Work on straightening out your life on a whole. Once it's straightened

out, life will be good. Everything will fall into place.
Women love a guy who has his life together - work, finance, fitness.
Whatever is important to you, you got to get control of that.
Be approachable, look approachable. Are you the person that others

would want to go to ask for help from? Or is it going to be the guy
standing next to you?
Learn to ask a lot of questions

You be the qualifier not her.
You can get more information on Will Hicks

and his work by clicking HERE..

180
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To learn more about any of the contributors to this program, simply
click their link below...
DIEGO GARCIA - Stylelife.com
LANCE MASON - Pickup 101
SCOT MCKAY - X & Y Communications
OLIVER TURNER - Captivate to Connect
DAVID WYGANT
SOUL & MR. M - Love Systems
WILL HICKS

181
LEARNING ROADMAP No games or fake lines...
Attract QUALITY women with the REAL you.
www.CARLOSXUMA.com CD AUDIO
DVD VIDEO
BOOKS
Alpha Lifestyle:
The Alpha Rules Triple-Threat Power Social Skills
CD AUDIO DVD VIDEO
BOOKS
The Dating Black Book Alpha Man 2:

Secrets of the Alpha Man
Alpha Immersion
CD & DVD CD AUDIO

BOOKS CD AUDIO
The Seduction Method

Approach Women - NOW Approach Women 2: Conversation & Persuasion
Real Alpha DayGame
STARTING INTERMEDIATE ADVANCED

TRUE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN REQUIRES
BOTH INNER *AND* OUTER GAME...
Carlos Xuma shares the insider secrets of how to attract women
the right way - by being the REAL you!
R.E.A.L. Game cuts through all the confusing and contradicting

information out there to help you get REAL success with women -
by using the best parts of your authentic personality.
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R = Relaxed & Resourceful
E = Effective & Energized
A = Authentic & Alpha
L = Lifestyle & Lasting
Most approaches and seductions fail because the guy isn’t confident
and congruent with his true identity. He feels like he needs to rely on a
line or “fake” opener to get her interested. While having a few stories and
techniques is important, it’s the attitude that shines through.
“Carlos Xuma is like that older, wiser
brother you always wished you had... You Carlos Xuma gives you both the inner game and the outer game.
know that he cares about you... He doesn't When you have both, your skill becomes natural - and more effective.
brag, he just tells you what he knows - Attraction is predictable and repeatable.
and you know he knows what he's talking It all starts with your natural Alpha Man abilities - the foundation of who
about...” - Jack Kammer, Author you are right now. No more faking it!
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LEARN:
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How to attract women with the real YOU & get more dates
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The successful traits of the Alpha Man - and how you develop them
Proven methods you can use to destroy “Approach Anxiety”
How you leverage the Universal Motivators for change
How you use the power of seductive language and imagery
Using Power Questions to break past social conditioning
How to control your fear, dispel your doubts, & build confidence
Specific techniques and exercises for a Powerful Frame ALL the time
Opening lines that calibrate to your style - and WORK
How to build razor-sharp conversation skills
The Stepping Stones from Approach to Intimacy - Start to Finish
Exercises to raise your level of Power, Control, and Confidence
How to overcome resistance - motivate yourself and others
How to be successful in all areas of your life - not just women...
REAL WOMEN - REAL RESULTS - R.E.A.L. GAME

COMPLETE DATING ROADMAP APPROACH WOMEN - No Rejection
ADVANCED DATING & CONFIDENCE ALPHA MALE CONFIDENCE
CONVERSATION & PERSUASION

POWER SOCIAL SKILLS
“I would have to say that your Alpha Man Pro-
gram is one of the best solutions to getting
this part of your life in order...”
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“...This is more than just a dating guide - it is a

collection of priceless information on how to
improve one's life in general....”
TOTAL ALPHA LIFESTYLE

- M.R.
“...Your stuff is simply GOLD!!” - C.P. in the U.K.

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© DD Publications- Morpheus Productions, LLC
www.CarlosXuma.com
© 2008 DD Publications, Morpheus

Productions, LLC.
The information contained in or made available through

this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services of
trained professionals in any field, including, but not limited
to, psychological, financial, medical, or legal matters. In
particular, you should regularly consult a doctor in all
matters relating to physical or mental health, particularly
concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or
medical attention.
DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no

representations or warranties concerning any treatment,
action, or application of medication or preparation by any
person following the information offered or provided
herein. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates, or any of
their affiliates, will be liable for any direct, indirect,
consequential, special, exemplary or other damages that
may result, including but not limited to economic loss,
injury, illness or death.

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www.CarlosXuma.

DVD 1: STEP 4: Reveiew

We are the cause of our own failure - and success.

Identify it - wherever you can take action to move forward... like

1st - Just walk by, occasionally making eye contact. No words

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

4 Steps to Skill Development

Keyword Technique is using just a word or two to trigger your recall.

Example: Snowboarding... Visceral thrill, adrenaline rush of going

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Approach Version 2.0

Approach is a no lose situation.

Go in with a killer sense of your own value - TOTAL CONVICTION.

Enthusiasm and Excitement

R.A.D. - Real Alpha DayGame

Integrate approach skills into your lifestyle.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Develop good success habits.

R is... Relaxed and Resourceful

Don't use other people's material.

E is... Effective and Energized

Use what is effective for you - it is congruous to who you are.

A is... Authentic and Alpha

L is... Lifestyle and Lasting

Approach is a habit not an event.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

DayGame is the only form of approach that is consistent with an

Your "Pick-Up Personality"

Who is your puppet master? Your emotions or your self-discipline?

Rapport-building with women often brings up resistance in men.

Get in the dirt. Get to it!

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Talk to people - all kinds not just women.

What to do to get you to do...

Develop new habits that lead you to success.

30 day cycle - 1 new habit per month, every month.

Emotional Energy Management

Learn how to recharge in the moment.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Zero investment change - Nothing is guaranteed. That's what makes

Give value, fun, and excitement.

Make every approach a win.

Resistance is created by risk. The solution is to remove the risk.

Enthusiasm, and Excitement

Never LIe/Never Own

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Change - persistent challenge breaks beliefs.

Men emotionally invest in women based on appearance - if she's

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

A story.... being stuck in our own point of view

Example: The Man Next Door

Don't take others as personal judgement against all.

High desire - create trust.

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Preparation - getting your mindset changed

Don't physically hunt her - intersect.

Women need to create and nurture relationships.

The R.A.D. Model

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Define success - All of the above with her feeling good.

Early success - building a habit

Approach goal - remove approach anxiety.

Get her interested in wanting more.

What's your style? Leverage your strengths.