Poetic Indifference

The word indifference carries negative connotations in today’s society, and is often

defined as apathy or detachment. When we think about indifference in this way, it is hard to

believe that St. Ignatius would ask us to include this ideal in our own life. However, the Jesuit

definition of indifference is framed by the context that we exist to serve God. In the Inner

Compass, Margaret Silf defines Jesuit indifference as “making use of those things that help to

bring us closer to God and leaving aside those things that do not” (Silf, pg. 156). Reading

indifference in this context transforms the ideal into a form of beautiful freedom, in which we

are detached from objects and desires that will impair our ability to praise and serve God to our

fullest potential. Both T.S. Eliot and Emily Dickinson discuss indifference in their poetic works.

Eliot’s “Ash Wednesday” focuses more on the process of achieving indifference, while Emily

Dickinson’s poems “The last night that she lived” and “I heard a fly buzz when I died”

demonstrate the indifference achieved by an individual to their own death and the world to

human mortality.

T.S. Eliot’s poem “Ash Wednesday” first hints that it will be a poem describing a

transformative process with the title. Ash Wednesday is a holy day in the Catholic faith tradition

marking the beginning of Lent, a season in which the members of the Church re-center

themselves and their lives around God. It is a difficult process of turning away from worldly

desires and turning towards God. During season of Lent, the faithful are particularly reminded

to practice the ideal of indifference, because Lent calls for reflection, fasting, and repentance.

During this time, the Church asks believers to reflect on what things in your life may be
distracting you from turning your focus towards God and then try to give those things up for

the entire forty days of Lent, and hopefully for the rest of your life.

In “Ash Wednesday,” T.S. Eliot uses the word “turn” multiple times marking a significant

transition (lines 1,3, 23 and 30). This turn can be interpreted as the process of conversion to

Christian faith, but it can also be read as the redirection of our desires and our lives toward

God. The word “turn” also reminds readers that spiritual growth is a long journey, often full of

uncertainties that requires individuals to reflect on their experiences and seemingly move in

circles with slow progress (Ellis, pg. 77). Eliot also presents the idea that experiencing suffering

and darkness may be a necessary part of the journey toward spiritual growth for some

individuals. At this point in the poem, Eliot emphasizes that indifference is an essential

ingredient in the process of spiritual growth. We must detach ourselves from our desires to

avoid suffering and recognize that the suffering or darkness that we may experience is the

catalyst of spiritual growth in our lives. Eliot cements his desire to attain detachment from the

things that turn him away from God, by making his poem “Ash Wednesday” also a prayer. Near

the end of section one, Eliot wrote “Teach us to care and not to care // Teach us to sit still”

(lines 38-39). This is his poetic way of defining Ignatian indifference. We need to disregard our

desires and objects that will lead us to turn away from God and care that we are using our lives

to serve God to our fullest potential. This sometimes requires us to “sit still” in darkness,

patiently waiting to see the light of God that will lead us closer to Him (line 39).

This idea of stillness also appears in Emily Dickinson’s poem “The last night that she

lived.” The first stanza of this poem establishes nature’s indifference to human mortality

through the phrase “common night” (line 2). The poem then goes on to say that the death of
this person was the unique thing that “Made nature different” (line 4). The following stanzas

emphasize that the humans in this poem are static. They are noticing “Things [they] overlooked

before,” but they themselves are not moving, the world is just continuing to move around

them, as if they were detached from it (line 6). This same theme of noticing small details that

seemed invisible to the human eye before death shifted the perspective is echoed in

Dickinson’s “I heard a fly buzz when I died.” This concept reminds me of the story of Medusa.

The individual that looks at Medusa is frozen in time forever, while the world continues to

move around them, allowing them to see minute details that they had previously,

subconsciously ignored. The humans in these poems begin to recognize things that they were

previously indifferent to, because the action of waiting for death has somehow heightened

their senses.

If I had to choose one word from the poem “The last night that she lived” that defines

the Ignatian ideal of indifference, it would be “Consented” (line 20). Dickinson uses this word to

describe the individuals last act before death and it is a word of welcoming and acceptance. An

idea which is foreign to many of us today, when we think about our own ends. However, this is

exactly what St. Ignatius is trying to illustrate through the principle of indifference. Many of us

desire long lives because we think that will be the most fulfilling due to the extra time to

accomplish more things, but our own desires cloud us from recognizing that for some

individuals a shorter life may be exactly what God is asking of us. For some, a short life may be

more fulfilling and serve God greater than a long life. Therefore, it is necessary to indifferent to

the length of our own life if it means we are serving God as much as possible. Similarly, St.

Ignatius makes it clear that we also need to detach ourselves from earthly possessions, which
Dickinson illustrates in “I heard a fly buzz when I died” (lines 9-11). I think it is significant that

these lines appear in the second-to-last stanza and after the possessions have been “signed

away,” the only thing that remains is the buzzing fly (lines 9 and 12). This is a powerful symbol

of the necessity to recognize the things in our life that become obstacles to us moving closer to

God. After detaching herself from the earthly possessions the only thing between her and the

“light” is the fly (line 14). Once she can no longer see the fly, she is truly detached from the

world and she becomes blinded by the light that releases her to death.

As demonstrated, both Eliot and Dickinson illustrate the Ignatian ideal of indifference in

their poetic works. While these are things that we can practice to further our own spiritual

growth, it is also a concept that we can adapt and see in our work as orientation leaders. Often

times we need to place our own personal desires to the side to ensure that orientation runs

smoothly. For example, a personal desire of mine is to get at least eight hours of sleep every

night, but I can recognize that doing my job to my fullest capabilities means getting only five

hours of sleep some nights. Although, this job can be mentally and physically taxing, it is

important to remember that we are here serve the incoming students of Loyola and in order for

them to have the best experience I need to detach myself from the desires that do not facilitate

our staff in accomplishing this purpose.

Sources:
Dickinson, Emily. “I heard a fly buzz when I died.”
Dickinson, Emily. “The last night that she lived.”
Ellis, Steve. T.S. Eliot: A Guide for the Perplexed. Chapter 3 “’Ash-Wednesday’ and the Writing
of the 1930s.” Pgs. 74-83.
Silf, Margaret. Inner Compass. 1999. Chapter 11 “Pathways to Detachment.” Pgs. 156-158.
T.S. Eliot, “Ash Wednesday.” Section 1.