Some people say that e- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and

magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the not- too- distant past, the print media, particularly newspapers and magazines, were one of the most
significant sources of information, knowledge and entertainment of the rank and file; and although latest
technology has been increasingly taking over our traditional sources of information, I believe that there is a
limit to the scope of e-books, and therefore, the conventional publication is not completely replaceable.
First and foremost, technology has become incredibly affordable and approachable in this day and age. A
couple of decades ago, for instance, smartphones were not yet introduced. As a matter of fact, computers,
albeit available, were notably uncommon, and hence, were exorbitantly priced. These days, however,
majority of the people own sophisticated gadgets, including, but not limited to, smartphones, laptops,
tablets et cetera. Hence, it can be anticipated that electronic and online books will keep only becoming an
almost- perfect substitute for print journalism.
Having said that, it is conspicuous that the reach of e- books is highly limited by its readers and the writers
alike. It can be well stated that there are a number of people, especially the older generation, who still have
a preference for the traditional publications. They tend to not get out of their comfort zones easily. Besides,
there is a significant percentage of writers who opt to get their books printed as a hard copy. Whether a
writer prefers a hard or a soft print is dependent on his or her preference and the difference in psychology.
To conclude, although I do believe that the latest trending technology is swiftly taking over our lives, and
one of the areas most affected by it is the medium through which we used to read books, newspapers,
magazines, journals, and various other periodicals; however, there, definitely, is a niche of the readers and
writers of the printed versions of books and other publications that cannot be substituted.
(315 words)

TASK RESPONSE: To get a very high grade, you would need a wider range of arguments. You focused
on price as an advantage of e-books. You could have mentioned convenience, social pressure to have the
latest gadget or things we can do with e-books and magazines which make them more attractive (such as
listen to them, interact with them). You certainly don’t need to mention all of these things but writing
about two advantages would be good. Similarly, you explained that older people and some writers prefer
paper versions and although you mentioned their ‘psychology’, you didn’t really explain this or explain
why exactly they might prefer a paper book. You could have mentioned that reading a physical book is
enjoyable, that electronic text can be tiring to read for long periods, that people sometimes enjoy
collecting/keeping real copies of magazines. Again, it would only be necessary to mention one or two of
these to get a high grade.

STRUCTURE: This is a well-structured essay. The introduction describes the current situation and
provides a thesis which is supported by the rest of the essay. Paragraphs 2 and 3 have good topic sentences
and supporting evidence. The conclusion re-caps the main ideas.

SENTENCES: The underlined sentences in your introduction and conclusion are difficult to follow. Of
course it is excellent to use sentences with two parts but my advice would be: Don’t write sentences with
more than one connecting word (‘although’, ‘however’, thus’ etc.) This type of sentence can be correct but
if you make one or two other errors in the sentence, it often becomes very difficult to follow. IELTS
examiners say that you don’t have ‘control’ over the sentence. All the sentences in paragraphs 2 and 3 are
of a good length and are well-constructed.

EXAMPLES OF STRONG LANGUAGE are highlighted in green

A few errors are highlighted in red. Can you work out what the error is? If not, look below…

the latest

Smartphones had not yet been introduced

the majority

You don’t need commas around ‘definitely’ here

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are
leaving their own poorer countries to work in the developed countries. What
problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

The past couple of decades have witnessed a mass immigration of

professionals from numerous developing countries to more economically
strong nations. This increasingly swift migration is effected because of a
number of reasons, the predominant of which is the low wage rate in their
home countries. This trend of moving to developed countries leads to various
repercussions that need to be solved and dealt with. The following essay will
highlight the problems that are caused because of large scale immigration,
and will suggest ways to handle it.

One of the most regrettable consequences is the fact that this trend is
especially detrimental to the interests of the underdeveloped countries
which such white-collar workers emigrate from. Such developing or
underdeveloped countries already do not have a high Gross Domestic
Product, which is simply the aggregate of the incomes of the residents of a
country. Besides this, the aforementioned process of migration also steals
from the natives of the developed countries many employment
opportunities. This, consequently, leads to frustration within them, which is
one of the main pillars of racism.

In order to combat such a situation, it is crucial that the government of the

economically backward countries makes conscious efforts to give incentives
to the educated citizens of their nation to stay in their own country. Offering
employment opportunities can be one such incentive. Better working
environment, through more expenditure on infrastructure, can help too.

To conclude, many people from low- income countries intend to move to

developed countries, especially the Western countries, due to lack of job
opportunities in their own country. This leads to a number of problems, both
for the home country, and the country they settle in. The majority of these
problems can be resolved if the governments of the poorer countries take
corrective measures to stop the brain drain from their respective countries.

(308 words)
LANGUAGE

is effected because of a number of reasons, the predominant of which is =

has been caused by a range of factors, the most predominant one being…

the words ‘country’ and ‘countries’ appear many times in the conclusion. It is
important to avoid repetition. Alternatives include ‘states’, ‘nations’,
‘regions’ and even ‘geographical areas’ and ‘continents’ can be used
sometimes.

TASK RESPONSE

introduction: This introduction is really strong. It re-phrases the question and

shows how important the issue is. The final sentence is a topic sentence
which explains how the writer will answer the question. This is a ‘problem
and solution’ essay and so it would not be a good idea for a writer to give
her/his opinion in the introduction.

Paragraph 2 is very strong. It starts with a clear topic sentence and explains
two relevant consequences in detail.

Paragraph 3 deals with the possible solutions. The essay would be stronger if
the writer had written a bit more about these possible solutions, instead of
just naming them. To make space for extra comments, a more concise
conclusion could have been written.

Conclusion: The conclusion could be shorter and could have avoided

repeating so much information from earlier in the essay. The conclusion
could have started by briefly re-stating the situation or by explaining that this
situation is likely to continue into the future. The writer could have
expressed the hope that those in power will do something to change the
situation.

COHERENCE AND COHESION

The writer has used a lot of language which makes the essay more coherent
and cohesive. This language is highlighted in yellow.
IELTS Task 2 Writing Feedback

Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time jobs and

see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Explain both views
and give your op-inion.

Statistics indicate that a multitude of economically strong nations have been making conscious
efforts to ensure that the younger adults engage themselves in part time jobs. A number of
psychologists claim that such efforts undertaken by those in power are particularly beneficial for the
youngsters. I agree with the idea to a large extent; however, it cannot be denied that there are some
serious negative repercussions as well. This essay will discuss both sides of the issue.

There are a number of compelling arguments in favour of working along with studying, the
predominant one being that it enables the students to partly fund their studies. Albeit low paying,
entry level jobs such as waiting at restaurants and working as a receptionist can be sufficient for
repaying student loans. Apart from this, these tend to help teenage children increase their exposure
and, in turn, such children can learn the fundamental skills of life including dealing with people,
balancing work and life, and managing their finances.

Despite this, the counter-argument that employment of those going to schools and universities is, in
fact, detrimental to their own interests should also be considered. Principally, it is believed by many
that in order for them to perform well in examinations, pupils need to invest sufficient time in
studying at home as well as attending classroom lectures. Furthermore, going to job after attending
the school leaves such students with no time to get involved in any physical activities, which are
crucial for their overall wellbeing.

Having considered the matter in some depth, I tend to agree that the ever-increasing number of
youngsters working part-time is a positive development. I genuinely hope that powers that be will
conscientiously continue encouraging the younger population to work and study at the same time.

COMMENTS

TASK RESPONSE: This essay asks the writer to explain the advantages and disadvantages of the topic,
and to give an opinion. The writer takes a sensible approach and has one main paragraph explaining
the benefits and one main paragraph explaining the drawbacks.

In this type of essay, you can include your opinion in the introduction, which the writer does.
Alternatively, you can have a thesis statement in the introduction which explains that you will look at
both sides of this debate. If you do this, your opinion needs to be made clear in the conclusion.

In paragraph 2, the write gives two relevant arguments in favour of young people working. Each
argument is explained in some depth. In paragraph 3, the writer gives two relevant arguments
against young people working. The second argument, connected to doing physical activity, could be
explained in more detail. A sentence explaining why physical wellbeing is so important in many
different areas would help, especially for candidates trying to get grades above 7.0.

The conclusion is short but not too short. The writer re-states the view given in the introduction, and
expresses a hope for the future. Ending essays with a hope is usually very effective.

COHERENCE AND COHESION: Paragraphs have a clear purpose which is easy to follow. The
beginnings of paragraphs 2, 3 and 4 make it very clear what the purpose of the paragraph is and how
it logically connects to the question or the rest of the essay. The writer includes signposts such as ‘I
genuinely hope that…’ to help the reader understand new information. The writer links ideas with
phrases like ‘Despite this,...’ and ‘Apart from this,…’ and also uses ‘however,’ and ‘Furthermore,’ to
indicate the connection between different parts of the text. The writer uses a lot of words which
connect nouns or ideas to other nouns or ideas. Examples include ‘such’, ‘one’ and ‘their’. Every time
you use language to refer to language in another part of your text, you make your text more
cohesive.

LEXICAL RESOURCE: There is a lot of complex language in the essay. Examples include ‘detrimental’
and ‘conscientiously’. Even more impressive is the use of collocations. These are groups of words
which native-speakers tend to use together regularly. Examples include ‘to a large extent’, ‘negative
repercussions’ and ‘managing their finances’. The writer also avoids basic language with phrases like
‘economically strong nations’ and ‘particularly beneficial’.

GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY: There are many examples of grammar which is complex and
which is used well. The present perfect form in the first line is used well and ‘such efforts undertaken
by those in power’ is a good example of a participle clause. The phrase ‘it enables the students to
partly fund’ is impressive because it shows a two-verb structure used well and ‘one being that’ is one
of several examples where gerunds and infinitives are used correctly. The use of passives with
modals gives the essay a very academic style: ‘should also be considered’ is an example of this.

There are very few errors:

a multitude of economically strong nations = numerous economically strong nations (‘multitude’

doesn’t collocate very well with ‘nations’. We often use this word when we want to indicate that
each of the many things we refer to is slightly different in some way.

engage themselves in part time jobs = get involved in part-time jobs/take up part-time jobs

along with studying = at the same time as studying/while studying

Albeit low paying = Albeit poorly-paid

sufficient for repaying = sufficient to repay

going to job = going to work

GRAQDE: BAND 8.0

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions.
Old- fashioned values such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent
do you agree or disagree?

In the past, an individual was judged based on ethical and moral traits such as kindness and
courtesy. Some psychologists claim that society has been becoming particularly judgemental and
superficial lately and that the members of the society are being given significance based on their
wealth. I partly agree with this idea; however, I believe that moral values are given a far more
significance than wealth. This essay will present both of the aforementioned viewpoints.

Mother Teresa, an epitome of love and kindness, has always been thought highly of by the society
because of her service to the poor and the needy. Many other altruists, such as heads of the
prominent Non- Governmental Organisations, are given remarkable significance as well. As a matter
of fact, the acts of benevolence become known all over the world in a short span of time because of
the social networking websites. The masses tend to have a predilection for those adopting
underprivileged and differently- abled children, and for those marrying acid attack victims.

Apart from this, nations such as Australia, New Zealand and Ireland are renowned for their kind and
friendly people. Japan is well known for the honesty of its citizens. Hence, such qualities are still
considered as the assets of an individual and state alike.

Despite this, the counter argument that humans are being judged on the basis of wealth that they
possess, should be considered as well. Politicians and film stars who have accumulated an
exceedingly high amount of wealth tend to be more renowned. In fact, there are a multitude of
programmes on various media displaying the belongings of such celebrities, including their
bungalows, luxury cars and designer accessories like bags, watches and footwear.

In an ideal world, there would be equality in the level of income distribution, and the society as
whole would not be judgemental; nevertheless, this is not the case. It needs to be admitted that the
number of people who give significance to the intrinsic qualities of a person far outnumber those
who give undue weightage to the rich and wealthy.
Some people become famous at a young age. Is this good thing or bad?

Child artists have remained popular amongst masses for decades. Some psychologists claim that
becoming famous at a younger age has several negative repercussions. I agree to some extent;
however, in my opinion, the positives of such child popularity far outweigh the negatives. The
following paragraphs will highlight the drawbacks and benefits of being renowned.

It is a widely known fact that an extraordinarily high percentage of those who become famous leave
formal education after completing primary schools. This is due to the fact that such celebrities need
to devote a significant amount of time and efforts to their respective careers such as acting, sports
or art. Apart from this, when children are exposed to the barefaced world at such tender age, they
too get involved in inappropriate and outlawed activities such as gambling and consuming drugs.

On the other hand, the number of benefits of gaining fame at a young age abound. Firstly, a child
can start earning at an exceptionally younger age, which effects their financial independence.
Secondly, as a result of beginning the career as a child, such artists tend to have a much more scope
of nurturing their talents and becoming a better version of themselves compared to their older
counterpart. Finally, since the competition amongst children is relatively low, the popularity
achieved helps them avoid the struggle of establishing themselves and making themselves known.

Having considered the pros of becoming a child celebrity, which outweigh and outnumber the cons, I
genuinely hope that the nurturers of the children, particularly their parents and the teachers, will
encourage the talent of these gifted artists to be known.
Quality of life in some cities is becoming worse. What is the main cause of this problem and suggest
solutions to solve this problem.

In the past, the quality of life in a large percentage of the cities used to be high; however, these days,
the standard of living is increasingly becoming poorer. The following paragraphs will highlight why
this is happening, and will suggest solutions to counteract the problem of the degrading quality of
life.

Primarily, the past few decades have witnessed an exponential population growth, as a result of
which, the population density in metropolitan cities has increased drastically. Most governments are
finding it exceedingly hard to provide for food, employment, medical facilities and other basic
necessities of life to the citizens for the resources are not growing at a parallel pace. In order to
counteract this issue, authorities need to act conscientiously to curb the population growth.
Population control policies, such as one- child policy adopted by China, need to be effected by those
in power. Apart from this, it is essential that sex education is provided in the middle and high schools
to teach safe sex to the young adults.

Another reason for the deteriorating life quality is the increase in number of working hours of the
employees. Because of increased time spent at work, individuals are finding less time to develop and
nurture personal relationships. The imbalance of work- life relationship is known to lead to a
stressful life. Furthermore, the extended working hours cause a multitude of health issues, such as
migraine and obesity. In order to solve this problem, the number of hours a person can work in a
week must be fixed. Fines should be imposed on employees and employers to help ameliorate the
health and overall well- being of the society.

To conclude, population explosion and increased working hours are the two factors predominantly
responsible for the deteriorating health and provision of basic needs of life. I hope that powers-
that- be proactively take appropriate steps in order to combat the degrading standard of life.