Infosys Founder Narayana Murthy’s emotional letter to his daughter Your birth raised the benchmark of my life, in every
f my life, in every aspect. My
is every father’s voice
A lot has been talked about woman’s motherly love, but rarely do we
talk about how being a father changes a man’s life.
Infosys Founder N K Narayana Murthy letter to his daughter, which
has been published in Sudha Menon’s Legacy: Letters from eminent parents
to their daughters, will strike a chord with every father-daughter duo.
In the beautiful letter, he has explained his overwhelming feelings
when he became a father. The letter has the complete journey of his life from
being a father to a grandfather. The letter to his daughter Akshata, also has
a very important life-lesson, which every girl will want to read.
Here’s Narayana Murthy’s letter to his daughter Akshata:
Akshata,
Becoming a father transformed me in ways that I could never have
thought possible. I could never go back to being the person I used to be
before. Your arrival in my life brought unimaginable joy and a larger
responsibility. I was no more just a husband, a son, or a promising employee
of a fast-growing company. I was a father, who had to measure up to the
expectations his daughter would have of him at every stage of her life.
interactions at the workplace became more thoughtful and measured; the
quality of my transactions with the outside world more considerate,
dignified, and mature. I felt a need to deal with every human being more
sensitively and courteously. After all, some day you would grow up and
understand the world around you, and I didn’t want you ever to think that I
had done anything even remotely wrong.
My mind often goes back to the initial days after your birth. Your
mother and I were young then and struggling to find our feet in our careers.
Two months after your birth in Hubli, we brought you to Mumbai, but
discovered quickly enough, that it was a difficult task to nurture a child and
manage careers side by side. So, we decided that you would spend the initial
years of your life with your grandparents in Hubli. Naturally, it was a hard
decision to make, one which took me quite a bit of time to come to terms
with. Every weekend, I would take the plane to Belgaum and then hire a car
to Hubli. It was very expensive, but I couldn’t do without seeing you.
What never ceased to amaze me was how you created your own little
happy world at Hubli, surrounded by your grandparents and a set of adoring
aunts and relatives, oblivious of our absence from your life….
I am often asked about the qualities that I have imparted to my
children. I tell them that it is your mother who shouldered this great
responsibility and I am ever so grateful to her for bringing you up to be the
fine individuals you are. She communicated values more by action than by
talking about them. She taught Rohan and you the importance of simplicity
and austerity. There was this one instance, in Bangalore, when you were
selected for a school drama for which you were required to wear a special
dress. It was in the mid-eighties, Infosys had just begun its operations, and
we did not have any money to spend on non-basic goods. Your mother
explained to you that we would not be able to buy the dress and that you
would have to drop out of the performance. Much later, you told me that
you had not been able to understand or appreciate that incident. We realize
it must have been a bit drastic for a child to forgo an important event in
school, but, we know you learnt something important from that- the
importance of austerity.
Life has changed for us since then and there is enough money. But,
you know, our lifestyle continues to be simple. I remember discussing with
your mother the issue of sending you kids to school by car once we were a
little comfortable with money, but your mother insisted that Rohan and you
go to school with your classmates in the regular autorickshaw. You made
great friends with the ‘rickshaw uncle’ and had fun with the other kids in
the auto. The simplest things in life are often the happiest and they are for
free.
You would often ask me why there was no television at our home
when the rest of your friends discussed stuff they watched on TV. Your
mother decided early on that there would be no TV in Our home so that
there would be time for things like studying, reading, discussions, and
meeting friends. She insisted that it was important to create an environment
conducive to learning at home. Therefore, every night we dedicated the time
between 8 pm and 10 pm to pursuits that brought the family together in a
productive environment. While Rohan and you did your schoolwork, your
mother and I read books on History, Literature, Physics, Mathematics, and
Engineering, or did any office work.
It is quite a well-known fact that when a daughter gets married, a
father has mixed feelings about it. He hates the fact that there is somebody
else in his daughter’s life with whom she shares her affections–a Smart,
confident, younger man who gets the attention that was earlier his alone. I,
too, was a little sad and jealous when you told us you had found your life
partner. But when I met Rishi and found him to be all that you had described
him to be-brilliant, handsome, and, most importantly, honest-l understood
why you let your heart be stolen. It was then that I reconciled to sharing
your affections with him. A few months ago, you made me a proud
grandparent. If holding you in my arms for the first time gave me
indescribable joy, seeing Krishnaa, your lovely daughter, for the first time
at your home in Santa Monica, was a different experience altogether. I
wondered, whether from now on, I would have to behave like a wise, grand
old man! But, then I realized the bonus to growing older and becoming a
grandparent. I would have the joy of pampering a child silly! Besides, you
know what they say about grandparents and grandchildren having a
common enemy-the parent! I am convinced Krishnaa and I will eventually
exchange notes and crib about you and be completely on the same page
when it comes to criticizing you!
As you pursue your goals and live a contended life, remember that
there is only one planet for us to live in and that planet is now becoming
endangered. Remember that it is your responsibility to pass on this planet to
Krishnaa in a better condition than you got it from us.
Take care, my child!
Lovingly, Appa
A Birthday Letter
Central Prison, Naini
October 26, 1930
My dear Indira,
On your birthday you have been in the habit of receiving presents and
good wishes. Good wishes you will still have in full measure, but what
present can I send you from Naini Prison? My presents cannot be very
material or solid. They can be of the mind and spirit,
…… Things that even the high walls of prison cannot stop.
You know sweetheart, how I dislike sermonising and doling out good advice
…….. I have always thought that the best way to find out what is right and
what is not right, what should be done and what should not be done, is not
by giving a sermon, but by talking and discussing, and out of discussion
sometimes a little bit of truth comes out.
I have liked my talks with you and we have discussed many things,
but the world is wide and beyond our world lie other wonderful and
mysterious worlds ……..none of us need ever be bored or imagine
……..that we have learned everything worth learning and become very
wise.
……. But what am I to do then? A letter can hardly take the place of a talk;
at best it is a one-sided affair …… Imagine that I have made a suggestion
to you for you to think over, as if we really were having a talk.
In history we read of great periods in the life of nations, of great men and
women … do you remember how fascinated you were when you first read
the story of Jeanne d’Arc, and how your ambition was to be something like
her? Ordinary men and women are not usually heroic. They think of their
bread and butter, of their children, of their household worries and the like.
But a time comes when a whole people become interested in a great cause.
Then history helps even simple, ordinary men and women to become heroes.
Great leaders have something in them which inspires a whole people and
makes them do great deeds ………
In India a great leader, full of love for all who suffer and eager to help
them, has inspired our people to great actions and noble sacrifice. He has
helped to make the starving, the poor and the oppressed free and happy.
Bapuji is in prison, but the magic of his message has stolen the hearts
of India’s millions.
Men and women, and even little children, come out of their little shells and
become India’s soldiers of freedom. In India today we are making history,
and you and I are fortunate to see this happening before our eyes and to take
some part ourselves in this great drama.
What part shall we play in it?
If we are to be India’s soldiers we have to respect India’s honour, and
that honour is a sacred trust….. It is no easy matter to decide what is right
and what is not. One little test I shall ask you to apply whenever you are in
doubt …… Never do anything in secret or anything that you would wish to
hide. For the desire to hide anything means that you are afraid, and fear is a
bad thing and unworthy of you. Be brave, and all the rest follows ….
You know that in our great Freedom Movement, under Bapuji’s
leadership, there is no room for secrecy or hiding. We have nothing to hide.
We are not afraid of what we do or what we say. We work in the sun and in
the light. Even so in our private lives let us make friends with the sun and
work in the light and do nothing secretly……and if you do so, my dear you
will grow up a child of the light, unafraid and serene and unruffled, whatever
may happen.
I have written a very long letter to you. And yet there is so much I
would like to tell you.
How can a letter contain it? Good-bye, little one, and may you grow up into
a brave soldier in India’s service.
With all my love and good wishes.
Your loving father,
Jawaharlal Nehru
Chanda Kochhar's Heartwarming Letter to Daughter is Winning
Social Media
Most people know Chanda Kochhar as the top honcho of one of
India's largest private banks, an inspiration for working women across the
globe, a Padma Bhushan awardee, and recently also listed among the most
powerful businesswomen in Asia by Forbes. However, this letter from the
ICICI Bank Managing Director and CEO to her daughter gives us an insight
to the woman and working mother behind the super-achieving professional.
And for every daughter growing up with a working mother, this letter is a
must read.
"As a parent with a full time job, one must not let work affect the way
you relate to your family. Remember the time you were studying in the US
and the announcement of my becoming MD and CEO of ICICI was splashed
across all newspapers? I remember the mail you wrote to me a couple of
days later. 'You never made us realize that you had such a demanding,
successful and stressful career. At home, you were just our mother,' you
wrote in your email. Live your life in the same way, my darling," says the
top banker in the letter, which appears in Sudha Menon's book 'Legacy:
Letters from Eminent Parents to Their Daughters'. The letter has received a
lot of appreciation on social media. Ms Kochhar has even been trending on
Facebook since Thursday.
In her poignant letter, Ms Kochchar talks about growing up without
her father who died when she was only 13 and her mother became a working
single parent. She relates the lessons she learnt as a child to the time she
became a working mother herself to her children, Aarti and Arjun.
"If you had complained and whined about my extended absence from
home, I would never have had the heart to make a career for myself. I am
blessed with a great and supportive family and I really hope you too will be
as fortunate when you set out on your own," she writes in the letter, which
is full of heartfelt advice for her daughter, coupled with anecdotes from both
her personal and professional life.
The letter makes for a beautiful read for all women, mothers or daughters.
Read the letter in its entirety below. This one cannot be missed.
Dear Aarti,
It makes me feel so proud today to see you standing in front of me as
a confident young woman right on the threshold of an exciting journey
through life. I am looking forward to seeing you grow and flourish in the
years ahead.
This moment has also brought back memories of my own journey, and
the life lessons I learnt along the way. When I think of those times, I realize
that most of these lessons were actually learnt in my childhood, mostly
through examples set by my parents. The values that they instilled in my
formative years gave me the foundation on which I try to live my life even
today.
Our parents treated all three of us - two sisters and a brother - equally.
When it came to education, or our future plans, there was no discrimination
between us based on our gender. Your grandparents always had the same
message for the three of us - that it was important to focus on what gave us
satisfaction and to work towards it with utmost dedication. That early
initiation enabled us to develop into confident individuals capable of taking
decisions independently. This also helped me when I started out on my own
journey of self- discovery.
I was only a young girl of 13 when my father passed away from a
sudden heart attack, leaving us unprepared to take on life without him. We
had been protected from life's challenges so far. But without warning, all
that changed overnight. And my mother, who had been a homemaker till
then, faced the responsibility of raising three children all on her own. It was
then that we realized how strong she was and how determined to do her duty
in the best possible manner. Slowly, she discovered a flair for designing and
textiles, found herself a job with a small firm, and quickly made herself
indispensable to them. It must have been challenging for her to shoulder the
responsibility of bringing up her family single- handed, but she never let us
feel like it was a task for her. She worked hard till she saw all of us through
college and we became independent. I never knew that my mother had such
a wealth of self-assurance and belief within her.
As a parent with a full time job, one must not let work affect the way
you relate to your family. Remember the time you were studying in the US
and the announcement of my becoming MD and CEO of ICICI was splashed
across all newspapers? I remember the mail you wrote to me a couple of
days later. 'You never made us realize that you had such a demanding,
successful and stressful career. At home, you were just our mother,' you
wrote in your email. Live your life in the same way, my darling.
I also learnt from my mother that it is very important to have the
ability to handle difficult situations and keep moving forward in life, no
matter what. Even today I can remember the equanimity and calmness with
which she handled the crisis on hand when my father passed away. You
have to handle the challenges and emerge stronger from them, rather than
allow them to bog you down. I remember how, in late 2008, we were faced
with a situation where ICICI Bank's survival was in jeopardy in the face of
a global economic meltdown. The situation was being analysed with a
hawk's eye by major media platforms and debated widely in the public
space... I got down to work, systematically communicating with all
stakeholders - from the smallest depositor to the sophisticated investors, and
from regulators to the government - the bank was sound and its exposure to
these institutions involved a small portion of its assets. I understood their
concern because so many of them feared that their hard earned savings in
our bank could be at risk. I also advised staff across the bank's various
branches to lend a sympathetic ear to those depositors who turned up to
withdraw their money, telling them to also offer the depositors a seat and a
glass of water while they waited. And though, depositors were welcome to
withdraw their money if they wanted to, our staff also took care to explain
to them that it would not help them to take their money away, because there
was no real crisis situation.
It was during this period that I took a couple of hours off one day to
attend your brother's squash tournament. I did not know it then, but my very
presence at the tournament went a long way in reinstalling customer
confidence in the bank. A few mothers at the tournament came and asked
me if I was Chanda Kochhar from ICICI Bank and when I replied in the
affirmative they said that if I could still find time to attend a tournament in
the midst of a crisis, it meant that the bank was in safe hands and they need
not worry about their money!
It was also from my mother that I learnt the importance of adapting to
circumstances and not being afraid of the unknown. While working hard for
my career, I looked after my family, and have been there for my mother and
in-laws when they needed me around. They reciprocated in kind with their
unconditional love and support for my career. Remember that relationships
are important and have to be nurtured and cherished. Also keep in mind that
a relationship is a two way street, so be ready to give a relationship just as
you would expect the other person to be giving to you.
My career would not have progressed the way it did were it not for
your father who never once complained about the time I spent away from
home. Your father and I nurtured our relationship despite the fact that we
were both busy with our own careers, and I am confident you will do the
same with your partner, when the time comes. If you had complained and
whined about my extended absence from home, I would never have had the
heart to make a career for myself. I am blessed with a great and supportive
family and I really hope you too will be as fortunate when you set out on
your own!
I remember the day your board exams were about to commence. I had
taken leave from work so that I could take you to the examination hall
myself. When you realized I was coming, you told me how you were used
to going for your exams alone for so many years. It hurt me to hear you say
that, but I also think in some ways, having a working mother made you much
more independent from a very young age itself. You not only became
independent, but also stepped into the nurturer's role for your younger
brother and never let him miss my presence. I learnt to have trust and faith
in you and you have now grown into a wonderful, independent woman. I
now use the same principle at work to make our growing population of
younger talent take on larger responsibilities.
I believe in fate but I also believe that hard work and diligence plays
a very important role in our lives. In a larger sense, we all write our own
destiny. Take destiny in your own hands, dream of what you want to
achieve, and write it in your own way. As you go ahead in life, I want you
to climb the path to success one step at a time. Aim for the sky, but move
slowly, enjoying every step along the way. It is all those little steps that
make the journey complete.
As you go forward, you will sometimes have to take difficult
decisions, decisions that others might scorn at. But you must have the
courage to stand up for what you believe in. Make sure you have that
conviction to do what you know is right, and once you have it, don't let
skeptics distract you from your path.
Aarti, there is no limit to what a determined mind can achieve, but in
achieving your goal, don't compromise on the values of fair play and
honesty. Don't cut corners or compromise to achieve your dreams.
Remember to be sensitive to the feelings of people around you. And
remember, if you don't allow stress to overtake you, it will never become an
issue in your life.
Remember that good times and bad times will be part of your life
equally, and you have to learn to handle both with equanimity. Make the
most of life's opportunities and learn from every opportunity, and challenge
that life brings along.
Lovingly yours,
Mumma
Children’s Day: A letter from poet Gulzar to daughter Meghna
You have already broken the record of your father’s qualification.
Congratulations! You are on a plateau now. You can look at all the horizons
and beyond them, from here
Without effort, one does not find even oneself: Meghna Gulzar
I was in New York on holiday when my graduation results
(St Xavier’s College) came out. Papa collected my marksheet and was
sending it with my mother, who was to fly out to join me, as the letter
mentions.
This letter came in 1994 with my marksheet.
What stays with me even today about this letter is the unflinching
confidence he had in me — and yet, it is so balanced. There is no whiff of
parental ambitions being conveyed to the child. It is just brimming with
hope for the future and its endless possibilities. And lays out a world before
the child to explore.
 Twenty is such a precarious age. You are just about beginning to know
yourself. Or even, becoming yourself. The academic and career decisions
that a young person takes at this stage are so crucial for the rest of her life.
And here, the encouraging, hopeful words of a parent can mean everything.
Like his did for me.
And, as always, even here, he is putting out the fires between my
mother and me.
Like all mothers and daughters, we were never like a real parent-child. We
were more like friends, or even siblings actually. So naturally, there were
quarrels galore.
And, hence, Papa, like the wise sage he always is, is telling me to find other
ways of expressing my love for my mother, besides quarrelling with her!
It’s been years since I graduated. And I have been in the career of my choice
for over a decade now. I think I’m doing pretty well with the faith he showed
in me. But he’s still putting out the fires between Ma and me.
Meghna Gulzar
**********************************************************
From a poet to his daughter
My Graduate Girl,
You have already broken the record of your father’s qualification.
Congratulations! You are on a plateau now. You can look at all the horizons
and beyond them, from here. It needs one more jump to climb onto your
own personality. You have to choose the direction. Just two/three years
more of education, the academic part is over. Whatever you do now will be
of your own interest and choice. But without effort, one doesn’t find even
oneself. Make one more effort to find yourself. You are capable of great
achievements, that I know.
You have only to decide it and you’ll do it!
Your Ma is leaving on the 29th. She misses you very much. You do
love her, I know, but don’t fight with her to express your love. She is a
disciplined person and (has) a very generous heart —and (is) a great teaser
too!
What should I sign at the end, Dad, Papa or — Gulzar
July 1994
Children’s Day: A letter from a cricketer to his children
I’ve chosen to be a little formal as I want to talk about life and its challenges
on this Children’s Day.
From a cricketer to his children
‘You are my most valuable gifts’

Dear Sarvajit and Achinthya,
I’ve chosen to be a little formal as I want to talk about life and its
challenges on this Children’s Day. So, instead of typing on the computer,
I’ve picked up a piece of paper and a pen to communicate. Hope this letter
will stand you in good stead.
Education is your most valuable asset and it’s important to make it
wholesome. But while academic success helps you progress in your career,
to become a good human being and a well-rounded individual, you must
inculcate the right values. Whatever you achieve in your careers, right
values are needed to earn respect.
My parents were always my role models. While growing up, I learnt
a lot from the way they conducted themselves, the dedication they had for
their professions. It’s very important to have a role model and to find the
right direction.
I don’t want to turn too philosophical, but the beauty of life lies in its
unpredictability. When I was young, my life was full of different
expectations and I enjoyed the topsy-turvy nature of it. I was fortunate to
play cricket at the highest level and represent my country. And the game
taught me a lot of things. It taught me discipline, the importance of setting
a goal and achieving it and the value of hard work. Most importantly, I
learned how to handle failures. This is very important, for success and
failure are two sides of the same coin. You must learn to put things in
perspective and have a strong foundation to take both the ups and the downs
in your stride.
You must set your goals and then fix time frames to achieve them.
There’s no point setting a goal without a time frame. It doesn’t serve any
purpose. There are provocations aplenty these days. But if you have a goal
and are passionate enough about achieving it, you will stay focused. You
are my most valuable gifts and I will create an environment that helps you
dream big. I will help you realise all your dreams.
Truly yours,
Dad
VVS Laxman is a former India cricketer. His son VVS Sarvajit is seven
years old and his daughter VVS Achinthya is five
FROM DAD, WITH LOVE – SANJEEV KAPOOR AND RACHITA
KAPOOR
At birth, she flooded her parents’ world with sunshine and laughter.
Growing up into a fine young woman, Rachita Kapoor continues to be the
centre of her family’s attention. Her father, Sanjeev Kapoor pens his
innermost thoughts to his daughter in emotional missives
Dear Rachita
 August 8, 1994 – a rainy morning that changed my life forever. You
came into this world and flooded my world with sunshine and joy!
Sometimes I just gaze at you and marvel at the years gone by. At how you’ve
transformed from the pink, screaming bundle you were to such a confident,
self-assured young woman. I marvel at how good you are at connecting with
people. I am amazed at how popular you are and the number of friends you
have. You are a warm girl and you trust people too easily, a trait that
sometimes worries me. Trust your gut, it can rarely go wrong, especially
when it comes to people.
Papa doesn’t mean to preach, but watching you go through life I can’t
help but feel anxious about what lies ahead and how you will cope. I know
you are a go-getter and will achieve what you have set out to. I want to tell
you that whatever you achieve, never lose your ability to connect with
people. Treat everyone you meet with warmth and respect. This attitude will
go a long way.
You, being the first-born, will always have a special place in my heart;
it was you who completed Alyona and me. It was you who made us a family,
and it gladdens my heart to see both you and your sister Kriti value your
family so much. There is a lot to learn from your family, far more than what
a structured education will teach you, and I speak from experience.
I see you poised to enter a professional world soon and even though I
want to warn you about the mistakes and the pains, I will not. I want you to
experience it all yourself. It’s when you take the knocks with the successes
that you can truly flourish in life. When you set out on your career path, the
foremost thing to have with you is a strong sense of direction and purpose.
Have a goal and pursue it single-mindedly, that alone will take you to your
destination. I tell you this from experience: let the world laugh at your
dreams – the cynics will dissuade you – but you turn a deaf ear to it all and
forge ahead. This was what I did, whether it was to study Sanskrit in a school
which wasn’t allowing me to, or resigning from my job to be on my own or
starting my own channel. All I did was to believe in my dream and it got me
where I am today. Steer clear of negativity and cynicism and that is half the
battle won.
In a few years you will start your own life away from us with your life
partner. Be flexible in your thoughts and attitude. Don’t have very high
expectations from people – just because you are good at something doesn’t
mean the others will also have the same ability – they might have qualities
that you don’t possess. So, be humble and willing to learn, whether it is from
your mistakes or from other’s. Nobody is perfect; the world, including us,
is made up of imperfections, what we do with it, is our creativity and
strength. I can share a simple secret with you, to grow in life happily, only
focus on what is good in a person and rarely on what is not.
The world is changing at a rapid pace, the world your mother and I
inhabited will be very different from the world you will start your life in,
but values don’t change. We have given you the values we’ve grown up
with and I am confident of the way you’ve been brought up and know that
you will never compromise on these values – and I expect you to hand them
over to your future generations as well.
God bless you, my little one. A heart always full of joy and
compassion is what I wish for you today and always. And remember we will
always be there for you, unconditionally.
 Love,
Papa
SANJEEV KAPOOR
Chef and entrepreneur Sanjeev Kapoor stars in the TV show Khana Khazana
which is the longest running show of its kind in Asia and is broadcast in 120
countries. He has also launched the FoodFood channel dedicated to food
and Sanjeev Kapoor’s Khana Khazana which is his line of ready-to-cook
meals. He also lends his names to many restaurants across India.
Children’s Day: A letter from a theatre personality to her son
I write this letter to you in the hope that one day you shall grow up to know
and love India, this vast country we call home.
Dear Hamir,
I write this letter to you in the hope that one day you shall grow up to
know and love India, this vast country we call home. Of the many interesting
ways to do this, I suggest we look at the land through a traveller’s, rather
than a tourist’s eyes. What is the difference, you may ask. A tourist just gets
to see what is prescribed on their tour, with little opportunity or time to
experience the “real” India. But your great-grandparents and grandparents
were travellers. Their work enabled them to not only tour large parts of the
country, but also to meet people and discover it in unique ways.
My mother (Jennifer Kendal) would tell me that the one thing that
fascinated her the most was that every 25 km (and with Shakespeareana they
travelled a great deal by road and rail), everything would change — the
culture, the landscape, the language, the food and architecture, the places of
worship, even the way men tied their dhotis and the women their saris, or
the way they wore their jewellery. The bullock carts and the bulls, too,
would look different. They would have different adornments on their horns
to show their distinct species. This rich variety fascinated her. So it is with
this rich bank of stories that I grew up — the adventures and travails of a
gypsy family!
But what I long to give you is the greatest gift I received from my
parents: our time at our second home in Goa. This was in 1970, long before
Goa became the soulless tourist destination it is now. I was three. We would
spend at least three months every year for the next 13 years here. It was
called the Love House, because of the white heart painted on the roof by
former “hippie” residents.
It was a fishing village then. We pulled our water from a well and the local
pigs helped clean our sewage. Every night, my mother would read in bed
with a torch, because the power supply was weak. Our home was
rudimentary, but warm and happy. What made it happiest was the way the
villagers embraced us into their fold. It was not easy; they took a long while
to accept us. They were proud people, who lived in a tight-knit community.
They reminded me of characters from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s books. I
grew to befriend the children, to learn Konkani, to accompany them to
school, to learn their games, to eat their food, to steal cashew nuts from the
neighbour’s tree, to sing their Christmas carols and so much more. We
celebrated our joys and mourned our miseries together and forged deep
friendships that still last.
What hurts me is that you and my friends’ children will never
experience this magical world, because it no longer exists. You will not
know the thrill of hearing the whistle that meant a big catch had been spotted
off the shore. Within seconds, fishermen would run to the beach to push the
community fishing boat into the sea. An hour later, the net would be hauled
up onto the beach and we would help scoop up the fish with tiny nets. The
fishermen quenched their thirst with Feni shots and we all sang Hai mala
dumsa together. Today, all the schools of fish have been poached by
trawlers, who broke every rule in the book, fishing close to the shore and
robbing the fishermen of their livelihood.
I hope you will grow up to realise that every beautiful story has its
share of horrors.
I am not being sentimental and romantic. I am heartbroken at the pace
at which “development” attacked the basic fibre of this village and uprooted
the values it lived by.
As you grow up, I hope you find the values that bind its people
together, and allow them to celebrate this difference and embrace each
other’s ways. This is what is unique and wonderful about this country. I
hope you can find enough examples of it across this vast land.
Love, light, peace,
Mama
Sanjna Kapoor is co-founder and director, Junoon, a theatre and arts
outreach programme. Her son Hamir is 12 years old.
Children’s Day: A letter from a mother to her son
Every day, my day begins at six with a cup of tea that I make for myself.
Whenever you are in town, I go back to stare at your face.
From a mother to her son
‘I know you are afraid of nothing now’
Dear Babu,
Every day, my day begins at six with a cup of tea that I make for
myself. Whenever you are in town, I go back to stare at your face. You sleep
peacefully, with your lips parted and eyes half open. For as long as I can
remember, this is how you have slept. That’s the only time I see you
absolutely peaceful. When you wake up at 11, frantically asking for your
coffee, and rush to get ready for lunch with your “BFFS”, my day begins.
That day, my day began at 5.55 am. For the first time, you woke me
up with a cup of tea. I asked, “Are you leaving early today?” “No. I’ll be
with you today.”
We cleaned up your room together. You made me lunch. Some
vegetables and meat tossed in a pan, brown bread and old port wine from
my closet. At 4 pm, you said, “Ma, let’s go out.” I was happy.

Like always, you picked out a sari for me. We went to Flury’s. We
ordered a club sandwich and a pie. I saw you fidgeting.
I asked you, “What’s the matter?”
“I want to tell you something. I know you know, though.”
“What do I know?”
“You remember that film, Ma?”
I knew. I remembered. I had denied it.
Two years ago, you wrote and made a film as a part of your
cinematography course. It was a rather intense film about a young man and
his terminally ill mother. When we watched it, I had cried. I didn’t think of
anything else back then. Or did I?
If I didn’t, why did I feel you needed to tell me everything about your
life since then? Why do I check all the time to make sure you get all my
assets after me? Why do I feel the need of a guardian for you, after me?
I’m not very old. Forty-five is definitely not an age to feel threatened.
Then why this craving for your glimpse, every day?
“Well, I made that film for you. I thought you would understand.”
“Understand what?”
“That I’m … I’m a … I do not like girls … not in a girlfriend-boyfriend
way…”
You need not have said anything else. I couldn’t hear anything else.
No more living in denial. In fear. It’s out there. I should feel free.
The sandwich arrived. Like always, I broke off a piece and put it in
your mouth. You had tears in your eyes. We didn’t speak that day.
The next day, I called your best friend in Bangalore. You didn’t know that,
did you? I said, “You knew something more about him than me. But the
truth is, I did know. Always.” He said, “Aunty, it’s as simple as the fact that
I prefer rice for lunch and he prefers bread.”
I knew you chose your life correctly, your career, your friends, your
clothes, your hairstyle, even the kohl you apply on your eyes. I also knew
that the one thing that you didn’t choose, but were born as, is also correct.
It’s like I get to see you as you are, every day.
Strangely, when you leave for college now, I miss you and fear for
you a little less. I know you are afraid of nothing now. “So, you are going
to find someone for yourself, right?”
“Well, you can save me all the work and find someone for me.”
Love,
Ma
Sanchita Sarkar is a Kolkata-based homemaker and her son Aritra is a
student of cinematography at the Film and Television Institute of India

Children’s Day: A letter from a single mother to her daughter
Life is moving so fast. It was just a little over a decade ago. I was sad and
alone, and I prayed for a blessing and found you in my arms!
From a single mother to her daughter
‘You are loved, no matter what’
My darling daughter,
I am glad for this moment when I can sit down to write to you. Life is
moving so fast. It was just a little over a decade ago. I was sad and alone,
and I prayed for a blessing and found you in my arms! I remember telling
you this story earlier and you would tell me that you were the angel looking
down from heaven and chose me to be your mother.
I love how you are growing each day. I was wary of the teens but you
have pleasantly surprised me. I wish you stay blessed, always. Beautiful
souls have crossed our path often and helped us sail through, no matter how
troubled the waters.
Now that you are getting wiser, I know you appreciate how work has
been the one big constant in my life and has healed me at every moment. I
hope you discover happiness and peace in your creative pursuits and know
that this can be your greatest strength.
Life is a mixed bag. It is up to us how we experience it. Anytime you
feel low, turn to something creative that makes you happy. I remember once
when I was drawing and you asked me, as an inquisitive two-year-old, why
I was smiling as I drew. Celebrate the little joys, dear one.
Never be afraid to work hard. Your grandfather would say credibility
is everything. Work hard and know you gave your best. While grades are
not everything, you must aspire to find your place under the sun. Follow
your heart and make your dreams come true.
It took a lot of courage and conviction to bring you up like a princess.
I know that sometimes you are too mature or too bold for your peers. Stay
as you are. I remember being called to school by your Class II teacher
because she said you were overconfident for your age. I am happy you have
an inner voice that does not let you stay quiet. Challenge everything and use
your values, knowledge and experience to guide you. Think and reason for
yourself… you have an independent mind. You are at a phase in life when
you will want to explore the unknown. Be adventurous and free-spirited but
stay grounded.
While you are blessed with well-meaning friends and family, there
will be those who differ. Respect the difference and choose to steer clear. I
still remember how you have bravely put up with heartless words over the
years, how you take it all in your stride. I have silently cried many nights,
amazed at how nasty children can be, and I take great pride in knowing how
matter-of-factly you cut all that to size. There is nothing abnormal about
being raised by a single parent and you are a beautiful example of that.
Understand the dynamics of family, friends, community, country and
the world. If you can’t be patient and understanding to your family, you
won’t be able to do anything for others. The joy of giving and sharing is a
cumulative one, the more hearts you touch, the more love comes right back
at you.
Know that you are loved, no matter what. I love you, always,
Mom
Tina Rajan is an artist, illustrator and graphic designer. Her daughter Ria is
13 years old and a Class VIII student at a Delhi school
Children’s Day: A letter from a teacher to her son
I never thought I would be talking to you about stuff like this in an open
letter, that too in a national daily, but, maybe, it’s best this way.
A hug has no religion and neither does a kind word’
Dear Re,
I never thought I would be talking to you about stuff like this in an
open letter, that too in a national daily, but, maybe, it’s best this way. I have,
over the past few years, been queasy about a few things and what they mean
to me, to your father, and for us as a family, and the more I write, the clearer
it seems to get.
I still don’t know most of the answers, but as long as we keep sending
our questions to the universe, some light will emerge. Rehaan Iyer-Agarwal.
I know by now that you wear your name proudly and love to say it aloud. I
knew I always wanted you to have both our surnames because your father,
an Agarwal and I, an Iyer, brought you into this world together.
Maybe you don’t realise we are two totally different people with very
different backgrounds, upbringings, rituals, cuisine and even festivals, but
just the fact that our names sit pretty together with your name means that it
doesn’t really matter. Someone asked me why I named you Rehaan,
pointing out that it’s a Muslim name.
I found out it has its origin in Arabic and it meant “messenger of God”.
Our help at the time of your birth, Zulekha, asked me if I named you Rehaan
because I liked Aamir Khan. I was confused. She explained that Aamir Khan
was named Rehaan in the movie Fanaa and that he played a terrorist in it. I
haven’t watched Fanaa and this should have made me a little afraid. It
didn’t. I just loved the sound of your name.
Then we applied for your passport and the man who came to our house
for the police verification gave me a lecture on why I was confusing people
by highlighting three different communities in your name. A Muslim first
name and a south-Indian meets north-Indian last name. But you are you first
and everything else later.
The south-Indian meets north-Indian bit? To be honest, that just gives
us more festivals to celebrate. You also have two sets of grandparents who
wear rituals very differently. I am the child of one set, so it’s possible that
my ideas of lighting diyas, agarbattis, bowing before a shrine, waking up
early and drawing a rangoli on Diwali day — emerge from that place.
Rituals have always defined us and sometimes they become us, too. But
sometimes, they have a way of preserving what is pure.You are going to
have a lot of friends who have parents from different faiths. You are also
going to have your own views about faith and religion and that is important.
But I just want you to remember that every religion values a good human
being in pretty much the same way. A hug has no religion and neither does
a kind word.
Soon, you will be all grown up and people will ask you where you are
from. I still don’t know how to answer that for myself, and I keep changing
that every time. Sometimes, I say I am from here and now, sometimes I get
defiant and say I’m from Bombay, sometimes I say I’m from my mother’s
womb and sometimes, I ask them how does it matter where I am from, as
long as I stand before you and listen to what you have to say.
People do this because they are very comfortable as long as they can
put you in a box. It’s neat, it’s compact, it can be labelled. The world loves
boxes. But then, in the end, you are the only one who can decide if you want
to go into a box at all.
Love,
Mom
Children’s Day: A letter from a construction worker to her daughter
I still remember the day when you were born — not the exact date though
— it was Ram Navami. We have celebrated seven Ram Navamis since.
From a construction worker to her daughter
‘Always have the courage to say no’
Dearest Neha,
I still remember the day when you were born — not the exact date
though — it was Ram Navami. We have celebrated seven Ram Navamis
since.
You are my fourth child but third daughter, and your grandparents
didn’t like it. They wanted another grandson. But you proved to be a lucky
charm for us. Soon after your birth, your father and I moved to Pune to work
at construction sites. After nearly 10 years of marriage, I felt free. Free of
being conscious of what the village folk would say if I broke any norm, free
to be the “woman” of the house, free of the need to relieve myself in the
fields after dark. Even today, every house in the village has cellphones, but
no toilets.
I was orphaned early in life as my father died of alcoholism and my
mother died in childbirth. I grew up cooking and cleaning at my nani’s
house.
I don’t have great insights about life as I am not educated, but I would like
to share some things with you. You are only eight years old and may not be
able to grasp the meaning of many things just yet, but I hope you are able to
read this when you grow up.
Just as I do not remember the date when you were born, I don’t
remember Pooja’s (the eldest). She was born a year after I got married. I
was about 16 then. Beta, the first thing you should do when your children
are born is write down their date of birth and get a birth certificate made.
These documents are necessary for things like school admission or for
availing government schemes.
I was extremely nervous when I was pregnant because I didn’t want
to suffer my mother’s fate. I am lucky to have survived but two of my
childhood friends died in childbirth; in fact, nearly every fifth woman in our
village dies like that. The ayah, who took Rs 300, advised me to go for
regular blood tests during my future pregnancies too. It helps beta, you
should also do that when your time comes.
 I have six children, my body feels tired now. I couldn’t muster the
courage to tell your father to allow a family planning operation. The larger
the number of children, the more difficult it gets to sustain a family. Today
I wish to educate all of you and marry you off, but I earn just Rs 300 a day.
You should say a firm “no” after you have your second child.
I don’t know what the future holds for you. But I hope that you choose
to live in the city. Village life is difficult. I wore a pallu all the time I was in
the village, here I am bindaas. I can live the way I want to.
Whatever you do, always have the courage to say no, to express
yourself. It is the only thing I lack and I wish you and my other daughters
don’t.
Love. Your mother,
Sarita
Sarita Thakur, who works at a construction site in Pune, is from Kulharia
village, Dumka district, Jharkhand. Thakur cannot read or write. She spoke
to Alifiya Khan on what she would like to write to her daughter Neha, who
goes to a school run at the site
Children’s Day: A letter from a writer to her readers
I have a confession to make. As a child, I was not a reader. Picking up a
book for “fun” was like hitting the pause button on life.
From a writer to her readers
‘I hope words open the world for you’
My dear readers,
I have a confession to make. As a child, I was not a reader. Picking up
a book for “fun” was like hitting the pause button on life. Basically, it was
something that had to be done as part of our family time. Just before dinner,
we all sat down and each of us read a book. I couldn’t wait for the hour to
end so that I could start talking again.
But then, one day, something happened. I remember the exact
moment, the exact feeling even now, years and years later.
I had picked up a book called Born Free by Joy Adams. I was drawn
into the book, much like Alice down the rabbit hole. It was a book that I
wanted to be in, to be part of. This was the life I wanted to live, these were
the people I wanted to be. The book is the first part of a trilogy about a
family who adopt a lion cub and then set her free. I laughed and wept and
fantasised. After I’d read the trilogy, I wanted — no — needed to read more.
And so I did. And I haven’t stopped ever since.
What is it about reading that hooks people so much? You know the
answer to that, you’ve read it in a hundred posters in the library. But to me,
it is the ability to achieve every single dream and do every single thing, go
to every single place that I want to, from the comfort of my own home. But
not in a hit-the-pause-button-on-life kind of way. More in a get-into-the-
skin-of-the-character, live-the-world-of-words kind of way.
 That’s what got me into writing, too. I wanted to be an actress, a big
movie star with a paparazzi tail. I also wanted to work with wild animals —
it could be crocodiles and snakes. Just something, anything, more interesting
than the life I was leading. I tried everything — did an acting course, spoke
to the zoo director and wildlife rescue people. But no one was giving me a
job. I decided to try to write about the life I wanted. It turned out to be quite
a good story. While I was writing it, I realised that I was living it. And it
was a really thrilling experience. I believed myself, and when others read it,
they believed it, too. So I wrote some more. And more. I knew that this was
what I was born to do.
And yes, I know what you’re probably thinking. That you’d rather live
the adventure than read about it. I get that, I think so as well.
So here’s the thing. Now that I am a writer with a capital W and I
have, well, not a paparazzi tail, but I have had a photo-shoot just this
morning. And there is a young man who is called Paro because he loved my
books as a child. I am travelling the world now, I’m off to Sweden to launch
a book I’ve written with a Swedish writer and I’ve performed stories with a
Zulu writer and an Eskimo. I’m living the best possible life. When I look
back, I realise that words got me here. Words I read, words I wrote and
words I dreamed of.
Words opened the world for me. I hope they will for you, too.
Happy Children’s Day, my dear readers (and those I hope will read
me soon), I wish the best of words to you.
Love and pyaar,
Paro Anand
Children’s Day: A letter from a property agent to his daughter
The day you were born, we began dreaming of an education for you. But
there was a shadow of fear.
‘I never imagined you would achieve so much’
Dear Anjali,
Ever since you came into our life, our happiness has known no
bounds. The day you were born, we began dreaming of an education for
you. But there was a shadow of fear. Our parents didn’t have the means to
give us an education. Would we be able to give you one?
We kept our faith in God. When you were young, we sent you to a
play school, vowing to send you to a good school later. That was easier said
than done. We filled in admission forms in school after school. but were
turned down because your mother and I were uneducated, we couldn’t speak
English. I began to despair.
It was during that time that we met a teacher from Springdales School
who told us a number of students are admitted to every school under the
Economically Weaker Section (EWS) quota. We filled in the form and you
got admission. We were thrilled as we saw our dream of educating our
daughter inching closer to realisation.
 We started sending you to school but we worried about you facing
discrimination in class. Fortunately, that didn’t happen and you became an
active member of your class, participating enthusiastically in all school
functions. When you got an award for full attendance, I was so happy. It
showed that you had adjusted well and didn’t have to resort to making
excuses to miss school, like children often do.

This year has been overwhelming. You have been chosen class
representative, which shows that you have won the love of not just your
teachers but also your classmates. You were also awarded a scholarship
given to meritorious students. At the awards ceremony, as we took our seats, Children’s Day: A letter from a cartoonist to his daughter
right behind the chief guest, my heart swelled with pride. I couldn’t blink A letter from a cartoonist to his daughter...
back my tears. I had never imagined my child would one day achieve so
much.
I hope you go far in life. And I hope the way you have received help
in life, you too are of help to others.
Your father,

Yuvraj

Yuvraj Sharma is a property agent, who came to Delhi about 30 years ago.
His daughter, Anjali, is a class VIII student
 Writing to you in November with the fan whirring above my head. Sheetkaal
kakhon ashbe Suparna?
From a musician to her son
‘It is the search which will give you strength’
Dearest Aarjan,
Writing to you in November with the fan whirring above my head.
Sheetkaal kakhon ashbe Suparna? When will winter come? A poet of this
city had once asked his friend. I think those who have grown up in this city
crave its winter in a way that we who have known other winters in other
lands will not understand or feel. Winter in Calcutta for me is a dry and
dusty time — it is getting drier and dustier every year. And less and less
cold. I remember cold hands and feet under the red quilt in our Shillong
home, and misty windowpanes on which we wrote our names — our hands
and feet were small then. Indrani from my left/lost hill town of Shillong says
they need fans now, even ACs. And their summers are stony hot, because
there is less rain in the hills. Yet, our childhood was so full of the sound of
rain on the tin roof. That is what happens, of course, when we cover our hills
with concrete and line our streets with cars.

In Calcutta, the winter birds do not come to the zoo any more. I’ve
read that in the papers. I think, isn’t that how it was meant to be? That news
doesn’t affect me as much because, actually, there is little I expect from this
city. You need to belong even to hate or feel anger. (Gayatri Chakravorty)
Spivak had talked once about simultaneously being at home and being an
outsider in the same place; the mark of belonging, she said, was the anger
you felt for the place. It worries me sometimes that as time goes, I feel less
Children’s Day: A letter from a musician to her son
and less of anything for this place.

But can it be that I feel nothing? Does that mean I don’t belong? The
students of Jadavpur (University) were singing my songs. What are my
songs if not a part of me?
I am glad you were following the news about the Jadavpur University
students’ movement. Wish you were here at this time. You would have been
able to connect, I know. I saw your face in that crowd. Yours and your
friends’ too. The day after the police beat up the students in the dead of the
night, I joined the protesters and met old friends and new ones. I thought I
recognised some; old faces mirrored new ones. Do you remember the march
against the war in Iraq in London in 2002? On the Tube, it had seemed like
the whole city was going to the march, young and old, children and parents
and grandparents. And at Regent Park — what a sea of humanity! We
marched that day, millions and millions across the world marched, and yet
the war happened. What do we do then? Practise the art of endurance or
hone the spirit of resistance and find new ways of subversion?
You know, I have been thinking a lot about Ananyo of late. You used
to like that song I wrote so many years ago. “In the sameness of things, of
ideas and slogans, in the banality of words and the sameness of gestures, I
look for you, Ananyo, you who are different and you who dare to be
different. But you are so hard to find.” Remember how I would sometimes
sing Aranyo, instead of Ananyo? Now tell me something: what is more
important? To search for someone or something special? To keep searching?
Or to know that however much you search, you will not find what you are
looking for? To know that nothing will change, that we are fighting a losing
battle? But don’t things change? Don’t they move even a little? Didn’t they
move on the day those 60,000 students walked on the streets of Calcutta?
Wasn’t that moment of protest itself the moment of freedom they were
looking for? What is Ananyo if it was not embodied in that very moment?
Yes, Ananyo is probably only a dream, Ananyo might always delude.
Yet, I think that for someone like you, living between worlds, between
languages and identities, it is the khonja, the search, which will give you
strength. Even if you know that you will not get what you are looking for.
Mamma
Moushumi Bhowmik sings and writes and runs The Travelling Archive and
Travelling Archive Records, with sound recordist Sukanta Majumdar. Her
son, Aranyo Aarjan, is 24. He has done his Master’s in media culture from
University of Maastricht, and is looking for himself in London now
Children’s Day: A letter from a Poet to his daughter
I am writing this letter to you not exactly from a prison as Jawaharlal Nehru
did when he wrote his letters on world history to his daughter.
From a Poet to his daughter
‘The capacity for accommodation is our strength’
Dear Sabitha,
 I am writing this letter to you not exactly from a prison as Jawaharlal
Nehru did when he wrote his letters on world history to his daughter, but
from a country that threatens to turn into a prison for the lovers of freedom
and those committed to democratic openness and cultural plurality. Amma
and I have been proud of you not just as a brilliant student, a much-loved
teacher and now a Commonwealth scholar, but for having been socially
concerned and politically alert from your early days. There has hardly been
any major protest movement in Delhi of which you were not a part —
whether it be against atrocities on women or suppression of human rights.
Your poetry reflects your concerns, while your research looks at the colonial
representations of India in the East India Company paintings and related
texts. These are what encourages me to write to you about some of the
anxieties that we both share.
Democracy, as you well know, must constantly expand its base,
remove the curbs on people’s freedom and reduce the presence of the state
in their everyday lives; but I fear the opposite is happening with our
democracy now. I know from your Facebook posts and our conversations
that you have watched its recent turn — elevating to power a political outfit
that has opposed a secular outlook, freedom of expression and cultural
diversity that was so dear to the founding fathers of our nation like Mahatma
Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and BR Ambedkar — with shock and pain. This
party has upheld the idea of a highly reductive and standardised “Indian”
culture which to them means only their own mutilated and sanitised version
of an imagined “Hindu” culture that ignores the contributions of other
modes of life and faith to our composite civilisation.
I need not tell you how India has always not just lived with, but been
proud about the multiplicity of her religions, world views, cultures,
knowledge systems, landscapes, languages and literatures, the very source
of her cultural richness. How poor our culture would have been without the
Mughal miniatures and architecture best represented by the Taj Mahal, Sufi
literature and music, Buddhist and Jain mythology and art, the Parsi ways
of thought and life, Guru Nanak’s syncretism, the translations of the Holy
Bible and the churches in Roman and Gothic styles. How poor our
philosophy would have been without those beautiful conversations and
arguments among the several systems including Sankhya and Charvaka,
Buddhist and Jain that had no place for the idea of God. And how poor our
literature would have been bereft of Shantideva and Ashwaghosha, Ghalib,
Mir and Bulle Shah and scores of writers who belong to different religious
and non-religious thought systems!
Our tribal cultures, that are genuinely native to India, with their
immense variety of languages, oral lore, music, dance, paintings and
sculptures were never considered “Hindu” until their “Sanskritisation”
began recently. Our folk cultures, from which emerged epics like Ramayana
and Mahabharata and many collections of tales such as the Kathasaritsagara,
Brihatkatha and the Jataka, and the systematised forms of music and dance
that we tend to call classical, too, were seldom recognised as “Hindu”, an
umbrella term used by those who came from outside to qualify those who
lived by the Indus river.
The champions of cultural Hindutva have manufactured an
inauthentic and unified-looking collage of a religion by choosing certain
elements from our past to the exclusion of so many others. Ours has been
an inclusive culture with an infinite capacity for absorption of and
negotiation with cultures that had their origins outside the country. This
quality is evident in our clothing and cuisine and even within our languages
that carry words from so many tongues. Our mother tongue, Malayalam, for
example, has many words borrowed from Arabic, Dutch, English, French,
Hebrew, Kannada, Persian, Portuguese, Sanskrit, Tamil and then nativised
so well that we do not even recognise them as foreign. Some states in the
North-east even have English as the state language.
This capacity for accommodation and absorption is not our weakness,
but our strength. And this is what is being sentenced to amnesia in the
divisive practices of fundamentalists and cultural nationalists. Now some of
their spokespersons, who had earlier sent a great artist like MF Hussain into
exile, attacked the great Bhandarkar Institute, destroyed the tomb of the poet
Wali Dakhani and razed to ground Babri Masjid, are taking up cudgels
against the most eminent of our historians. They are striving to crush every
voice of dissent in their attempt to foist a monolithic culture on India.
The future of India is in the hands of freedom-loving, forward-thinking
youth like you. I am sure we will work towards this end together once you
are back, and you will continue my work even after I am gone.
With hugs and kisses,
Acha
K Satchidanandan is a Malayalam poet and critic. Sabitha is a PhD student
at the University of London
Children’s Day: A letter from artist Reena Kallat to her Ahaan
A letter from an artist to her son Dear darling Ahaan, You’re turning nine
in a few days. When I asked daddy if you would be too embarrassed to
receive this note from me, he told me to go ahead and write what I feel. You
perhaps know that you have brought us more happiness […]
A letter from an artist to her son
Dear darling Ahaan,
You’re turning nine in a few days. When I asked daddy if you would
be too embarrassed to receive this note from me, he told me to go ahead and
write what I feel. You perhaps know that you have brought us more
happiness than we could have ever wished for. I can’t forget the joy beaming
through my big smile, on first hearing the news about you, nine months
before you arrived. We’ve loved watching you sing, seated in your yellow
stroller (at one year, few months), relishing the sound vibrations as the
stroller sped over cobbled streets; talking to the animals in various zoos;
giving instructions in the bathtub. We enjoyed recording your tantrums
during the terrible twos, crying and howling when I once bought you new
clothes, throwing a fit because you loved the old ones more. After a tiring
search sometimes, we’d laugh at the quirky things we would find tied
hanging on strings, linking door-knobs to shoes stuffed with water bottles,
moisturisers and keys.
 We were often bemused by those failed attempts at shoving bigger
things into smaller volumes that would frustrate you. From the days of
delightful duckies to spooky sharks in deep seas to hand-crafted cardboard
space shuttles, we’ve seen your interests gravitate to magnets, magic, maps
and maths. You were wonderfully considerate throughout our travels,
finding ways to entertain yourself, distributing the cards you drew at every
sit-down dinner in the company of adults. You joined us at art exhibitions
in museums, galleries, biennales, fairs, no matter where, whichever part of
the world they might be and never complained even after throwing up (due
to your motion sickness). I’ve always felt, I could never do what I do without
your co-operation. While you make us recognize our strengths and help fight
our fears, at times we fail when you decide to get stubborn. You’ve made
us understand ourselves better, through watching you, putting us in touch
with things perhaps we otherwise wouldn’t do, were it not for you.
There are many lessons to learn from the games you play; not just how
to build, improve and excel, but to cope with setbacks and failures too.
While games challenge us, they also get us to participate in solving
problems and look for solutions. You cried bitterly when you lost your way
home in ‘ minecraft’, but it’s helped you to know the pain, of what it feels
like losing all that you’ve created and while we cannot direct the winds, we
can however adjust the sails. Now, as you journey through new worlds in
pursuit of higher goals, let’s remind ourselves that life is actually made up
of little things. Continue to appreciate and value them while looking out for
the invisible patterns in life’s situations ? for in the uncertainty there is
hidden wisdom at play? which only in time becomes visible.
Love, Ma
Reena Kallat is a Mumbai-based artist
AURANGAZEB'S LETTER TO HIS TEACHER
AURANGAZEB’S LETTER TO HIS TEACHER
Sir! What do you expect from me? Is there any justification in your
asking that I, in my capacity of a famous Muslim ruler, should take you into
my court? May be your request would have been reasonable if you had
imparted education to me in proper way. A student, who receives good
education, should respect his teacher as he respects his father. But, what
have you taught me? Firstly, you taught saying that Europe means a small
island called Portugal, that the king of that country alone is great, in the next
position is the king of Holland and then comes the king of England. You
also said the king of the France and Spain are like the petty rulers in our
country and that the King of Hindustan are greater than all those Kings, that
they are the emperors who conquered the whole world and the kings of
Persia, Uzbek, Tartar, China, Eastern China, Pegu, Machina, will shiver at
the mere mentioning of the names of Hindustan kings. Ah! You have taught
excellent history and Geography, indeed! Instead, you should have taught
me about the different countries in the world and their varied interests, the
strengths and weaknesses of those kings, their war strategies, their customs,
religions, Government policies, the advantages, History, progress, downfall,
what disasters and blunders had led to great changes and revolutions-you
should have taught me all these things. I did not learn anything from you
regarding the great men, who established the Mughal empire. You did not
teach me anything about their life histories. You did not teach about the
policies and the strategies that they followed to achieve glorious victories.
You wanted me to learn how to read and write Arabic. You wasted
much of my time on something, which cannot be mastered unless I worked
hard for ten to twelve years. Perhaps, in your opinion, it is a great thing if a
prince becomes a great linguist and a perfect grammarian. May be you
thought this esteem is enhanced by learning other languages and foreign
languages instead of learning his mother tongue, the language of his people
and the languages of neighboring states! Infact, he does not need these
languages. Time is quite precious during the childhood for the people like
me, who belong to the royal family, since we have to shoulder so many
responsibilities. There is an urgent need to learn many things during the
limited time that is available to us. You have wasted all my time in teaching
Arabic for such a long time, which was boring activity. Study of an Arabic
was tragic event in my life. It was useless pursuit. I had to learn it with
extreme reluctance. It has even blunted my intellect. (Persian was the
official language at that time).
Don’t you know that happy childhood memories are preserved
forever, that thousands of things can be learned which makes everlasting
impression on the young minds and that because of their influence, he can
be mentally prepared to take up greater responsibilities? Is it not possible to
learn the laws, prayers, and sciences in our mother tongue instead of
learning them in Arabic?
You have told my father Shahjahan that you would teach me philosophy. I
distinctly remember it. For several years you have fed my mind with half
knowledge of many things which would not satisfy me. All that fanciful
stuff is not at all useful to human society. It is very difficult to understand
them but very easy to forget.
I cannot say how long you had taught me that kind of speculative
knowledge. I could only remember that those ugly and horrible vocabulary
which could surprise and confuse even the most intelligent people. Ignorant
egoists like you, who would like to hide their bad qualities, must have
created such words. By listening to such bombastic words, we should think
that you are knowledgeable and omniscient! We should think that those
wonderful words contain some wonderful inner meaning, which could be
understood only by scholars like you!
You should have trained me to be a person with analytical thinking.
You shoaauld have taught me the techniques of being a person of
equanimity and imperturbable mind! You should have told me the laws and
grandeur of the universe and the fundamental principles of life. You should
have filled my mind with this kind of practical philosophy. Had you done
these things, I would have shown you same kind of reverence that Alexander
showed to his teacher Aristotle. I would have helped you more than that.
Instead of raising me to the skies with flattery, you should have taught
me the essentials of being a good king. You should have given me the
knowledge of a king’s responsibilities towards his subjects and their
responsibilities towards the king. You should have foreseen that a day
would came when I should use the sword in the battle with my brother. You
should have taught me how to lay siege to a town and rally the soldiers who
are scattered in confusion. However, I learned all these things from others,
but not from you.
 Therefore, now you must go to your village. I will not help you in
any manner. Let not the people know who are you. Lead the rest of your
life as an ordinary citizen.
(We have published in an earlier issue of ‘Triveni’ Abraham Lincoln’s
letter to his son’s teacher. Perhaps they are studies in contrast.)
A Letter From Abraham Lincoln To His Son’s Teacher
My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to
him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure
that might take him across continents. All adventures that probably include
wars, tragedy and sorrow. To live this life will require faith, love and
courage.
So dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him
things he will have to know, teaching him – but gently, if you can. Teach
him that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all
men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every
scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a
dedicated leader.
Teach him if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a
dollar found. In school, teacher, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat.
Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does
win.
Teach him to be gentle with people, tough with tough people. Steer
him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
Teach him if you can – how to laugh when he is sad, teach him there is no
shame in tears. Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in
success. Teach him to scoff at cynics.
Teach him if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to
ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers
on a green hill. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one
tell him they are wrong.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when
everyone else is doing it. Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him
also to filters all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good
that comes through.
Teach him to sell his talents and brains to the highest bidder but never
to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Let him have the courage to be
impatient, let him have the patient to be brave. Teach him to have sublime
faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind,
in God.
This is the order, teacher but see what best you can do. He is such a nice
little boy and he is my son.
Letter to Adolf Hitler – from Gandhi
As at Wardha, C. P., INDIA,
 July 23, 1939
DEAR FRIEND,
Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity.
But I have resisted their request, because of the feeling that any letter from
me would be an impertinence. Something tells me that I must not calculate
and that I must make my appeal for whatever it may be worth.
It is quite clear that you are today the one person in the world who can
prevent a war which may reduce humanity to a savage state. Must you pay
that price for an object however worthy it may appear to you to be? Will
you listen to the appeal of one who has deliberately shunned the method of
war not without considerable success? Any way I anticipate your
forgiveness, if I have erred in writing to you.
I remain,
Your sincere friend,
M. K. Gandhi
HERR HITLER,
BERLIN,
GERMANY
As at Wardha,
December 24, 1940
DEAR FRIEND,
That I address you as a friend is no formality. I own no foes. My
business in life has been for the past 33 years to enlist the friendship of the
whole of humanity by befriending mankind, irrespective of race, colour or
creed.
I hope you will have the time and desire to know how a good portion
of humanity who have view living under the influence of that doctrine of
universal friendship view your action. We have no doubt about your bravery
or devotion to your fatherland, nor do we believe that you are the monster
described by your opponents. But your own writings and pronouncements
and those of your friends and admirers leave no room for doubt that many
of your acts are monstrous and unbecoming of human dignity, especially in
the estimation of men like me who believe in universal friendliness. Such
are your humiliation of Czechoslovakia, the rape of Poland and the
swallowing of Denmark. I am aware that your view of life regards such
spoliations as virtuous acts. But we have been taught from childhood to
regard them as acts degrading humanity. Hence we cannot possibly wish
success to your arms.
But ours is a unique position. We resist British Imperialism no less
than Nazism. If there is a difference, it is in degree. One-fifth of the human
race has been brought under the British heel by means that will not bear
scrutiny. Our resistance to it does not mean harm to the British people. We
seek to convert them, not to defeat them on the battle-field. Ours is an
unarmed revolt against the British rule. But whether we convert them or not,
we are determined to make their rule impossible by non-violent non-co-
operation. It is a method in its nature indefensible. It is based on the
knowledge that no spoliator can compass his end without a certain degree
of co-operation, willing or compulsory, of the victim. Our rulers may have
our land and bodies but not our souls. They can have the former only by
complete destruction of every Indian—man, woman and child. That all may
not rise to that degree of heroism and that a fair amount of frightfulness can
bend the back of revolt is true but the argument would be beside the point.
For, if a fair number of men and women be found in India who would be
prepared without any ill will against the spoliators to lay down their lives
rather than bend the knee to them, they would have shown the way to
freedom from the tyranny of violence. I ask you to believe me when I say
that you will find an unexpected number of such men and women in India.
They have been having that training for the past 20 years.
We have been trying for the past half a century to throw off the British
rule. The movement of independence has been never so strong as now. The
most powerful political organization, I mean the Indian National Congress,
is trying to achieve this end. We have attained a very fair measure of success
through non-violent effort. We were groping for the right means to combat
the most organized violence in the world which the British power represents.
You have challenged it. It remains to be seen which is the better organized,
the German or the British. We know what the British heel means for us and
the non-European races of the world. But we would never wish to end the
British rule with German aid. We have found in non-violence a force which,
if organized, can without doubt match itself against a combination of all the
most violent forces in the world. In non-violent technique, as I have said,
there is no such thing as defeat. It is all ‘do or die’ without killing or hurting.
It can be used practically without money and obviously without the aid of
science of destruction which you have brought to such perfection. It is a
marvel to me that you do not see that it is nobody’s monopoly. If not the
British, some other power will certainly improve upon your method and beat
you with your own weapon. You are leaving no legacy to your people of
which they would feel proud. They cannot take pride in a recital of cruel
deed, however skilfully planned. I, therefore, appeal to you in the name of
humanity to stop the war. You will lose nothing by referring all the matters
of dispute between you and Great Britain to an international tribunal of your
joint choice. If you attain success in the war, it will not prove that you were
in the right. It will only prove that your power of destruction was greater.
Whereas an award by an impartial tribunal will show as far as it is humanly
possible which party was in the right.
You know that not long ago I made an appeal to every Briton to accept
my method of non-violent resistance. I did it because the British know me
as a friend though a rebel. I am a stranger to you and your people. I have not
the courage to make you the appeal I made to every Briton. Not that it would
not apply to you with the same force as to the British. But my present
proposal is much simple because much more practical and familiar.
During this season when the hearts of the peoples of Europe yearn for
peace, we have suspended even our own peaceful struggle. Is it too much to
ask you to make an effort for peace during a time which may mean nothing
to you personally but which must mean much to the millions of Europeans
whose dumb cry for peace I hear, for my ears are attended to hearing the
dumb millions? I had intended to address a joint appeal to you and Signor
Mussolini, whom I had the privilege of meeting when I was in Rome during
my visit to England as a delegate to the Round Table Conference. I hope
that he will take this as addressed to him also with the necessary changes.
I am,
Your sincere friend,
M. K. GANDHI