Welcome to the ​Ask the Village​, an online community of new (and old!

) parents looking for

the coziness of a traditional village in today’s anonymous online world. You have either
joined us from a sister group or been added here by another member. We would like to extend
a warm welcome to you and inform you of the local laws, aka our group policy.
We believe in ​gentle, child-led parenting, which includes the ideas of full-term
breastfeeding or else responsive formula feeding, baby-led weaning, gentle discipline
and night-time parenting​, and we try to arrive at our position on parenting from an
evidence-based perspective​. This means a majority of ​comments and admin remarks will
reflect our bias ​towards accepting biological norms, gentle parenting attitudes and scientific
evidence. At the same time, where there is no evidence of harm, we are not averse to
accommodating alternative positions. We are a pro- choice forum and believe in respecting a
parent’s choice in following what they deem best for their familial situations. We are
pro-vaccination​. We are essentially a space for parents/caregivers of young children. In our
existing setup, we admit as members parents/caregivers of young children, as we feel we
would be best equipped to provide peer support for parents who have children below 18 years.
We are happy to have as members direct caregivers like grandparents who provide support to
parents / help raise children under this age.
Ask The Village (ATV) takes pride in being a ​liberal space​. We believe in choice and
diversity. We believe in feminism and equal rights for all. We espouse gentle parenting and
treating children with the same respect that we accord to adults. We are also evidence-led and
leaning away from baseless myths and superstitions.

ATV would also like to be a space that is respectful of opinions. We want members to feel
safe even when they are saying something that goes against popular opinion. For this, it is
crucial that admins and members remain polite and non-judgemental in their responses.

For specific queries on weaning (introducing solid food to babies) and working outside the
house, please post on the main sister group for more focused and helpful responses. Links to
these groups are given at the end of this document.

WHO ARE OUR MEMBERS?

This is a peer-to-peer support group. All of us here are parents​, though some of us may
have moved on to roles of parents-in-law or grandparents and similar. There are parents here
of assorted genders, communities, ages, biological and adoptive; some are even
parents-in-waiting.

While some of our members may have training or expertise in areas such as medicine,
physiology, education and so forth, and we may at times tag them for help or an opinion, ​this
group is in NO WAY intended to dispense expert opinion and nor are members with
such expertise obliged to weigh in on matters of their professional interest​. If they do so,
it is out of courtesy, and not to be taken in lieu of formal professional advice.

Views differ greatly on many topics in this group. ​We endeavour to promote an
atmosphere of tolerance and mutual respect.​ If you disagree with or are offended by a post,
we hope that you will remember to express your views in a respectful manner. We like to
think that we are a diverse group and that members will feel free to disagree or share a
different approach, so please speak up if you have a different perspective—there will
probably be a number of quieter members who share your thoughts. There is rarely a
complete consensus in this group.

RESPECT & PRIVACY

- This is a ​closed group​, which means that non-members cannot read posts to the group
but they ​can​ see who the members of the group are. Members may add friends to the
group but the admin team needs to approve their membership and will point them to
this policy document to ensure that all members have an understanding of the
expectations and of the privacy settings of the group.

- Please be aware that, while we moderate and vet members quite closely, ​we cannot
guarantee the complete privacy of anything you post to this group​. It is a large
body of people and most members are strangers to you.

- Unlike many parenting forums where an alias is used, most of us participate here with
our real names and hence privacy is very important to us. ​We expect members to
respect others' privacy and will not tolerate breaches—but cannot guarantee they
will not happen​.

- Please note that many sensitive topics are discussed here and we share some amount
of personal information, photographic and otherwise, here. We ask that you ​do not
share screenshots of group activity outside this group, nor share screenshots of
activity within other closed or secret groups here for discussion.​ This would be
regarded as a gross breach of etiquette and privacy, and ​will result in the offending
member being banned from all sister groups.

- Do not download or use photographs or information (including our files and

albums sections) for use without our permission or the express permission of the
original poster.

- We are all for healthy, respectful debate, but ​please stay polite​. Remember that tone is
not easily read over the internet, and a jocular remark can be taken as offensive, for
example—so think about that when posting, and keep it in mind should someone
object to your post or comment. ​Ad hominem attacks or abusive language and
prejudicial opinions will not be tolerated. People who are found or are reported
for internet bullying or making personal attacks on a member or admin of this
group are liable to be banned at admin discretion without any information or
intimation.
 - Please refrain from posting jokes or memes that are sexist. They are contrary to our
group ethos and values. However, in the interests of openness, admins will not delete
such posts but may choose to close such threads on their own discretion.

- Please take all reasonable safety precautions when sharing private information
and personal details. This includes scenarios such as sharing your contact
information and location; setting up face-to-face meetings; engaging in swap and
sell transactions; advertising your professional or business details.

- Please do not share in the group photographs of any third party other than
yourself or close family members without said party's express permission! ​This
too is regarded as a violation of privacy.

- Posts, photographs, links and comments posted on Ask the Village are for information
and support only. They are not specific to anyone's individual circumstances.

- Links are provided for information and convenience only. We cannot accept
responsibility for the sites linked to, or the information found there. Please note that
the linked websites may deal with privacy differently, and Ask the Village accepts no
responsibility or liability for the privacy practices, or the content of any linked site,
readers are requested not to reproduce this in whole or in part.

- Even for meet-ups, please seek permission from an admin before posting about the
meet-up and event links. While meet-up posts are not considered promotional, we
expect a heads up from organisers before posting about it.

GENERAL RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

We will delete/block members who

● spam the group or its individual members
● make promotional posts outside of the guidelines listed below
● breach our privacy policy and post screenshots of posts from the group
● dispute or contest our albums. Group albums are invaluable, assiduously-collated
resources and are not up for debate
● block any or all admins on Facebook
● make voting requests for baby/ beauty contests, voting contests, petitions, funds etc.
● are the subject of repeated complaints for disrespectful comments, inflammatory or
prejudicial posts or unfair selling/swap tactics
● deliberately mislead us as to their personal or professional details
● continue to comment on closed threads.
 ● use the group for data mining/research.
● make personal / passive aggressive attacks on any member of the group, admin or the
admin team

- Since the group is fast-moving, it helps if you use the search bar at the top of the page
to check if something similar to your query has been asked before. More often than
not, similar questions have been posted and answered by several members.

- Please avoid the use of text speak or unorthodox abbreviations​—dropped vowels,

concatenated spellings, unusual acronyms such as 'dat' for 'that', 'blv' for 'believe',
'OSM' for 'awesome', '2' for 'to', 'gr8' for 'great' and so forth. Everyone who responds
on and moderates this forum is voluntarily sharing their time with you, and we would
ask that you remember it takes extra effort to decipher such coded writing!

- There is an internet etiquette with regards to typing in all-caps. It can be understood as

emphasis when typing off more limited devices like a phone or tablet, but is more
commonly understood as SHOUTING. ​As in any polite drawing room, we request
that you do not raise your voice in conversation.

NOTE: Members who attack admins or other members of Ask the Village, ​might be
removed from the group and any sister groups without warning.

If a post violates the guidelines and policies of the group, it will be deleted by the admin
team. Please familiarise yourself with the group policies before posting on the Village.

This post lists out the reasons why posts are deleted
https://m.facebook.com/groups/313270022178902?view=permalink&id=648641945308373&
ref=bookmarks

MEDICATION AND HOME REMEDIES

- Please ​do not recommend or ask for any medications​ by name on the group,
traditional or otherwise (this includes specific homeopathic and ayurvedic
preparations)

- Please do not prescribe use or buying of medical devices for children or adults. These
devices are meant to be used under specific guidance of a doctor or a trained
physician.

- Medications should only be used when ​prescribed by a doctor who has personally
examined ​the patient.
 - NEVER prescribe orally ingested home remedies for children under 6 months​ or
those not yet weaned.

- Honey in any form​, in recipes or as a medicinal substance, is NOT to be

recommended for children less than a year old.

- Traditional or novel practices that constitute a safety hazard for the baby such as
suffocation or a choking risk, poisoning or toxicity, should not be suggested. ​If you
see such a suggestion on any thread, please alert the admins of your concern.

PROMOTIONS & SALES

If you have a business/service to promote, please make note of the following:

- Linking to your business/ group / blog: ​Is allowed on a post ONLY when a member
is looking for information in an ISO (In Search Of) post. ​For example: If a member
is looking for recommendations for a busy book, you can post your business link
only in the comments section and wait for the OP or other members to contact
you privately or on your business page. ​Posting your business page without
members having requested specific information is not allowed at all. Such posts will
be removed and member tagged on Village to notify them of deletion.

- New businesses: ​If you are starting a business or have a new business that you want to
promote, please do NOT make a post in the group. You are allowed to link to your
business/ blog/ group only if a member is asking for specific information regarding a
service or a product on a thread.

- B/S/T: ​We are NOT a B/S/T (Buying/ Selling/ Trading) forum. ISO posts by members
are allowed only for services and products. No selling or swap requests are allowed at
any time. Such posts will be deleted and OP notified on the group wall of the same.
Repeat offenders will be banned. ​For example: If you are looking to buy or sell a
pre loved car seat/ toy, this is not the forum where you should be posting.​ We do
NOT allow borrowing or lending posts either

- Indirect promotions: ​Are not allowed on the group at all. Please do ​not​ make indirect
references to a service via a post at any time. ​For example:​ “I had a great day today
making baby apparel, I am so happy!” OR “My blog got so many responses today, I
want to share my happiness with you!” OR “My client called me to say her baby had
the best time with the Busy Book I made for her!” “Help me find a name for my
business!” These are all indirect promotions and will be deleted immediately.
Violators will be given a warning and repeat offenses will lead to a temporary or
permanent ban. You are allowed to link your business page, only when a member is
seeking information about a product. ​Please do not try to bend the rules by making
 indirect promotions.

- Job postings:​ are not allowed on the Village. If you are looking for a job/ change of
job option, this is not the right forum to be posting in. You can only view the work
from home (WFH) options set out in our albums section, not post requesting for more
options.

- Linking to other non- sister groups: ​you can link to other groups if someone is
asking for a recommendation for a certain product or service. Please do not promote
groups otherwise.

- Bumping up promotional posts:​ Do not bump up ISO posts by commenting with

“PM Me” or “Please send me a link”. Such comments will be immediately deleted.
The links are available in the comments section, please access them without constantly
bumping up the thread as it buries other threads from members who may have posted
for help and information.

- Posting your Instagram or Twitter or blog link (or any other social media site link) is
considered promotional as well and should only be done on ISO (In Search Of) posts.

Note​: Ask the Village or the admin team are not liable for any product / information
posted in any of the groups or for vendor products/ links mentioned in the threads.
Please do your own research and homework before buying/ subscribing to any
information posted in such groups/ blogs or vendor pages. Please take up disputes/
claims directly with the vendor or service provider. The admin team at Ask the Village
has no legal standing in these matters.

- Posts are deleted by admin ONLY if they are in violation of group policy
specified above, or show extreme disturbing content.

ANONYMOUS POST GUIDELINES​:

- ​Like the admin page linked here and send your anonymous posts as a message (not
as a post) to the
page.​https://www.facebook.com/AskVillage-​Admin​-886823934778741/…
- Please make sure that you aren't using SMS speak. We need to be able to understand
what you are saying before we post.

- No medical queries/ job hunts/ travel itineraries/relocation information in anon posts,

please. Such anons will not be entertained at all.

- No anons for friends. It is a breach of privacy to discuss the problems of someone

who isn't a member of the group.
 - Anons are for sensitive issues and support. Posts that are critical of members or
offensive to any section of the population will not be entertained.

- Since the admin team is all mothers juggling various responsibilities along with
voluntarily taking on admin responsibilities for Ask the Village, anon posts might take
up to 48 hours to go on the group. Please be considerate and do not ping individual
admins for reminders. In case it is something urgent, please ping on the page.

- When members respond to anonymous posts, they are requested to be gentle and
non-aggressive. ​Comments that are deemed insensitive will be deleted
at admin discretion.

- We have a dedicated thread for domestic violence and you can access organisations
that help victims of domestic abuse via this thread:
Domestic Violence Support Thread
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1497151637279165&set=oa.4643562604
03610&type=3&theater

- Please note that ​all anon posts will be posted at admin discretion.

- our guidelines are also linked here

https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheBSIMVillage/permalink/848896005282965/

SUNDAYS OFF:

The Village and all our city and sub groups will be closed every Sunday, from 07:00am
IST till 07:00am IST on Monday. What does this mean?
It means,
- No new posts can be made.
- No old posts can be commented on.
- No anonymous posts will be posted by the admin team.
- Folks sending in anons or writing in to the admin page, will get an auto reply
mentioning the Sunday off, and their posts will be made only after 07:00am on Monday
morning.
- Folks sending joining requests to the Village, will get added only on Monday.
Link to the announcement:
https://m.facebook.com/groups/313270022178902?view=permalink&id=89012408116015
7

The onus is on you to read and adhere to this policy document. We are not class
monitors and you are not children. Do not simply say, 'Admins, please delete if
inappropriate.' Take the trouble to revisit the policy and check. If still not clear, please
PM the AskVillage Admin page
https://www.facebook.com/AskVillage-​Admin​-886823934778741/…​and we will get back to
you within 24 hours usually.

The information contained here has been taken from sources that are believed to be accurate.
We cannot claim it be correct, complete or accurate. Ask the Village accepts no liability
whatsoever for any loss - direct or indirect because of use of this document.

Village Sub Groups:

We have several sub groups that come under the Village umbrella. Village ethos and rules
apply across all sub groups and city groups.

Village Bookworms:​ For those who love reading and have kids who love reading or being
read to. ​https://www.facebook.com/groups/VillageBookworms/

City Sub Groups:

The Bangalore Village: ​https://www.facebook.com/groups//
The Chennai Village: ​https://www.facebook.com/groups/chennaivillage/
The Delhi /1345980488775922​: ​https://www.facebook.com/groups/162182474234336/
The Mumbai and Pune Village: ​https://www.facebook.com/groups/158456404888516/

Your admins​,

Anjana Arunachalam, Arpita Chatterjee, Debduti Sengupta, Saloni Sharma, Shyamashree

Rudra.

Links to Sister Groups:

Baby-Led Weaning India (Self-Fed Babies)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/blwindia/

Traditional Weaning India

https://www.facebook.com/groups/twindia/

Work-Life Support for Indian Mothers

https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsworkingoutsidethehouseindia/