Newsletter of the West Wickham and Hayes Methodist Church No.

125
WEBSITE: http://wwmchaweslane.weebly.com
 APRIL — MAY
Minister in Pastoral Charge
Revd. Karen George  8460 0669 e contact@bromleymethodistcircuit.org.uk
Minister with Pastoral Care
Deacon Laura MacBean  8249 8592 e laura.macbean@googlemail.com

Dear Friends,

As we celebrate Easter and look to the 50 days beyond

—taking us to Pentecost—I would like to encourage you
all to seek moments each day in which you might reflect
on what it means to know the Risen and Ascended Christ
and to experience his presence by the Holy Spirit’s power.

Our days can so easily be taken up with a mixture of the

mundane and the urgent, and even though we reflect
whenever we are able to gather together for worship, it
is really important for us to set aside other times too when we might consider
exactly what the Easter story means for us. We can so readily take for granted the
basis of our faith and easily fail to let its magnitude touch our souls.

To those first Christians the declaration ‘Christ is risen’ was a declaration of truth,
not simply of faith. As time went on it became, too, a very clear declaration
of allegiance to a greater Power than the might of Rome. It was a statement
subverting all that people understood the world to be, a statement subverting
all that people understood God to be, and a statement declaring, without any
doubt, that death was not the end. Add to this the understanding that the cross
on which Christ died - an instrument of shame and torture – came very early on
to be seen as a triumph of good over evil, life over death, forgiveness over hatred,
and it is small wonder the early Christians were ridiculed, and then persecuted,
for their foolish ideas. As Paul put it in 1 Corinthians 1:18 “… the message of the
cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it
is the power of God.”
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I pray that this Eastertide and beyond you would, as Paul puts it in Philippians
3:10, seek “to know Christ and to experience the power of his resurrection” and
that even in times of suffering or struggle, you will conform to his likeness to the
end. To know the power and love of God at work in each of our lives is a privilege,
a high calling and a challenge. May each of us be able to say this Easter, not just
that Christ is risen, but that he is risen in each of us, fully alive and at work in us,
as we share that love, that grace and that power we confess to believe in with
those around us.

May this Easter blessing be true for you this season and may you indeed be able
to say with joy ‘Christ is risen, halleluia!’

May the celebration of resurrected life bring new hope to your being.
May the victory over earthly death turn your eyes to the promises of heaven.
May the empty tomb help you to leave your sorrows at the foot of the cross.
So that God’s hope, promises and forgiveness reign in your life forever.
Amen.

Yours in His service

Laura

REGULAR INCOME
to 28 February
Average regular weekly offering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . £715
Target weekly average . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . £800

Please remember to donate your pennies to

the All We Can East Africa Famine Appeal for the
emergencies in South Sudan, Nigeria, Yemen,
Somalia and other countries threatened by famine.
It’s a race against time to prevent a major disaster
so please support this with all YOU can.
-3-
 NEWS OF THE FAMILY
MOVED Margaret Ford has moved to the Prince George Duke of
Kent Court Care Home, Shepherd’s Green, Chislehurst, Kent, BR7
6PA [020 8467 0081] and would love to have visitors.
WE REMEMBER IN OUR PRAYERS Jean Turner, Marilyn & Paul
Robins and Mary Gearing. Jean Turner is poorly in hospital and she
and her family are very much in our thoughts—we continue to pray
for her improvement and recovery.
BIRTHDAYS We send Happy Birthday wishes to: the following on our
Cradle Roll: Dylan Robert Ephraim Jones who will be three on 19th
April and Cody Joseph Bryan who will be seven on 5th May.

CHURCH ACTIVITIES
EASTER SUNDAY BREAKFAST will follow the 8.00 am Holy
Communion on 1st April. Please add your name to the list at the back
of the church if you would like to come or email judesel@ntlworld.com
MESSY CHURCH will meet at 4.00 pm on 21st April (Bible
Roads). The 19th May meeting is cancelled—see page 7

MUMS
ANSE will meet at 9.00 am on 24th April at 73 Hawes LAne, and
Tuesday 22nd May at St Mary’s Vicarage,The Avenue.

STAY & PLAY was a real success on 15th February with 42 children
and 23 adults enjoying Valentines crafts, delicious treats at the
cafe and plenty of space for toddlers and older children to play.
The next meetings will be 5th & 12th April and 31st May.

of the Bermondsey Mission help the poor of the city with

tinned food, bedding, etc. Contributions can be left in the box
under the blue table cloth at the back of the church or outside
the Secretary’s Office.

THE LILY TRUST We are collecting toiletries, via the Toddlers Group,
for this local charity that helps victims of trafficking. Any donations
can be left at the back of the church, clearly marked please.
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THE SCOUTS are still collecting used postage stamps to raise
funds for the Leprosy Mission. Please leave a 5 mm border
around the stamps and leave them in the box in the display
alcove (near the sound system) at the back of the church

OTHER LOCAL ACTIVITIES

DAME CICELY SAUNDERS CONCERTS are held on the first
Thursday of the month at 7.30 pm at St Christopher’s Hospice,
Sydenham. £10 tickets include interval canapés and wine.
5th April: Charles Johnston, baritone, and Ian Judson, piano,
will be performing songs by Schumann, Britten, Ireland and Stanford.
3rd May: Ahmed Dickinson Cárdenas (guitar) and Catherine Lee (‘cello)
perform an evening of classical favourites..

FREE LUNCHTIME CONCERT with piano and flute will take place
at St Francis Church, Ravenswood Avenue on Friday 13th April
from12 noon to 12.45 pm with light refreshments from 11.30 am.
All welcome.

VISIT TO OBERAMMERGAU Bromley Methodist Church will

be travelling with a group from WW URC from 31st July – 7th
August 2020 to Oberammergau. Staying outside Salzburg for
five nights and then staying in Oberammergau for two more.
The cost will be approximately £1,600. If you are interested please contact Ann
Woollins: 020 8464 8739 or a.woollins3154@btinternet.com

BOOK SALE at Beckenham Methodist Church on Saturday 10th

April from 10.00 am to 4.00 pm. Books, board games and jig-
saw puzzles available and all proceeds in aid of the Redevelop-
ment Fund. Tea and coffee will be available.

JUBILATE CHOIR Spring Concert, with the London International Sinfonia,

including Karl Jenkins’ The Armed Man & Adiemus/Vivaldi: Gloria choruses at
St Matthew’s Church, Chichester Road, Croydon CR0 5NQ on Saturday 14th
April 2018 at 7.30pm. Tickets £12 on the door.

Sidesman to a newcomer at the church door: “Good morning. How far

down do you wish to sit?’
Baffled newcomer: ‘Well, all the way, of course.’

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 FLOWERS
IN CHURCH
April May
1st 6th
Easter Flowers Flower Fund
8th 13th
Easter Flowers Flower Fund
15th 20th
Easter Flowers Angela Hulm
22nd 27th
Angela Hulm Angela Hulm
29th
Angela Hulm
If you would like to provide the flowers
please add your name to the
list at the back of the Church

Troublesome Words—the sound of English!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) We must polish the Polish furniture.
4) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
5) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
6) A sea bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
7) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
8) They were too close to the door to close it.
9) After going out having done some sewing, a sewer fell into a sewer.
10) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear

In the days before WW 2, phonecalls cost two pence. ‘Can you lend me
tuppence to ring a friend?’ a widely disliked MP once asked Winston
Churchill. The great man scoured his pockets. ‘Here’s four pence,’ he said.
‘Ring them all.’

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 WEST WICKHAM METHODIST CHURCH
Hawes Lane BR4 9AA
Saturday 21st April 4.00–6.00 pm
Theme—Bible Roads
STOP PRESS: The meeting scheduled for 19th May
has been cancelled in order to run the concert for
Christian Aid

West Wickham Methodist Church

10.00 am – 12.00 noon
5th April 12th April 31st May
Laura is on holiday & sabbatical during this period so volunteers are
needed to help run these events. Please add your name to the list at
the back of the church or contact Laura on 8249 8592

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 M ANSE
UMS
Manse Mums is an ecumenical support group for Christian mums. Each meeting
includes a topic for discussion, time for prayer and plenty of refreshments.
The meetings are also suitable for mums who want to learn more about the
Christian faith.
All meetings are on Tuesday mornings from 9.00 am to about 11.30 am
Dates to the next six months are as follows
24 April at 73 Hawes Lane, West Wickham, tel 020 8249 8592

}
22 May
at St Mary’s Vicarage, The Avenue, West Wickham Tel 020 8777 5034
19 June
10 July

The Open Door Fellowship

meets on
Monday afternoons
from 2.00–3.30 pm
in the Wesley Lounge
at Beckenham (Bromley Road)
church for conversation and
light refreshments.
ALL WELCOME
April 2nd: No Meeting (Easter Monday)
April 9th: A Favourite Book—Members’ choices
April 16th: Life’s Methodist Influences—Gordon Hughes
April 23rd: The Very Rev. Ray Coster
April 30th: Transport in the 20th Century (part 2)—Leon Daniels
May 7th: No Meeting (May Bank Holiday)
May 14th: Who Do You Think You Are, Biblically?
May 21st: The Beginning of Methodism
May 28th: No Meeting (Spring Bank Holiday)

Your mind is like a TV; when it goes blank, you should turn off the sound.

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 Redevelopment Update No. 10
At the recent Church Council meeting it was reported that an Order of Cost
estimate had been received from Calfordseaden. As a result we concluded that
there will be too great a financial shortfall with the current redevelopment
design. Consequently a design rethink was needed and two options were
suggested.
(a) Explore being our own developer
(b) Build much more high-end townhouses through a bespoke design and build
company called Huf Haus (fully environmentally friendly too, with a short build
time). The aim would be to cover full design, planning permission and building
costs from the sale of the townhouses. It was agreed at Church Council to put
on hold any more exploration with John Spence until the Huf Haus option
investigated further.
Following the church council meeting in February, Huf Haus were contacted
and their director paid a site visit and offered to draw up some initial designs.
The Connexional Property Consultant, to whom we were referred by TMCP,
also paid a site visit and agreed to work closely with us from now on to ensure
we make the best possible decision in terms of maximising our land use and
doing a complete new build. He will refer back to the new Connexional Property
Development team as and when we need it to ensure we get as much support
as possible for our plans.
On 22 March a small team from WWMC (plus our independent Qualified
Surveyor) visited the combined show home and offices of Huf Haus, met their
senior people and planning expert, and had a detailed presentation of proposals
for redevelopment of our site into 6 x 4-bed houses (with parking) and a new
church/community centre (with parking). All our questions were fully answered.
Our Qualified Surveyor is now putting together an embryonic set of proposals
for submission to Connexion but at first sight it does look as though the scheme
can work financially. Subject to the initial approval of Connexion, the first step
would be for Huf Haus to put in a Pre-Planning Application to determine what
issues are likely to be raised by LBB so that they may be addressed before the
application for full planning permission.
The Pre-planning Application will involve a relatively modest cost and there
would also at that stage be another modest payment to Huf Haus for their
considerable work on the plans to date. This expenditure will only arise if
Connexion is happy with the scheme in principle. So, in order to save time, the
Church Council will shortly be asked to approve this expenditure in anticipation
of Connexion approval of the scheme itself.
The Redevelopment Committee
-9-
 EDITH CLARK

Edith Jane Clark was born Edith Collyer on

the 10th August 1923 in Islington, London.
Unfortunately, her father died when Edith
was two years old, and her mother had
a leg amputated when she was still very
young. She also lost her older brother to
appendicitis when he was just 10. Sadly, due
to her disability, Edith’s mother decided that
she could be better cared for at a Children’s Home, and so, aged five, Edith
went to Spurgeon’s Orphanage in South London where she went to school
and boarded. Edith spoke fondly of both her family and her time at Spurgeon’s
Orphanage. She talked about ‘story time’ and how the length of the story
time depended on how well the girls behaved that day! She made strong
friendships and developed her religious faith at the orphanage—one of her
prized possessions being a bible that was given to her when she left aged 15.
While there, she was one of the many witnesses (from a distance) of the Crystal
Palace burning down – a story she told often.
After leaving home, Edith stayed with her Aunty Ginny and it was with
this family that Edith’s love of the open air, photography and sewing grew.
During the war years she continued to work, but she also did her bit for the
country’s efforts, doing some typing and shorthand for the government in the
Cabinet War Rooms. Edith’s career continued and she became the PA to one
of the bosses at P&O Ferries. She was very happy there. During this time, she
developed a love for travel—she travelled to Australia alone in the 1950’s, a
journey that in those days took 48 hours each way.
In the late 1970’s, Edith met Rick Clark (Sue Clouston’s Father) at a
Dancing Club in Beckenham. Rick had lost his wife a few years previously, and
they instantly clicked and started spending time together.
Edith and Rick married in 1981 at West Wickham Methodist Church. Edith’s
kind nature made her an instant hit with his grandchildren, who came along
shortly after. They both continued attending West Wickham Methodist, being
active in the choir, the JMA, the WI and Linden Club. Edith and Rick were always
extremely proud and supportive of their family, and always attended school
plays, concerts and any events that involved the children
Rick passed in 1996, leaving a devastated Edith. Her family and friends
rallied round to help her and she enjoyed frequent visits and days out with the
family. She occupied herself with her church interests, often running people
to and from church, writing often to the grandchildren when they were away
- 10 -
at university or college and keeping the garden looking good. She also loved
her visiting birds, and had several birds that waited for her every morning for
their breakfast of currants! Edith loved her great grandchildren dearly and got
a lot of pleasure from watching them grow and develop, especially listening to
their musical talents and helping with homework etc.
After her move to Cedar View care home Edith spoke often about
playing the ‘Glad Game’ that she had learnt from the story Pollyanna which had
been read to her back at Spurgeon’s Orphanage. She found several reasons to
be glad she was at Cedar View; these included not having have to cook, having
a south facing room looking out over the garden and—most importantly—
Lorraine and Paul’s dog, Scooby, was allowed to visit!!
Edith lived to a grand age and achieved so much in her life – perhaps
the most impressive aspect is that she was at the heart of four families
throughout her life, all of which have fond memories of her and she is already
greatly missed. However, she would want us to find the ‘Glad’ in her life and to
look positively towards the future: as PollyAnna said: ‘“... if God took the trouble
to tell us eight hundred times to be glad and rejoice, He must want us to do it.”
The Clouston Family

West Wickham Methodist Church

in

CONCERT aid
of

Led by Hayes Symphony Orchestra

Saturday 19th May, 2.00–4.00 pm
Cream Teas served during the Interval
Adults £10 (Children free)
Tickets from Christina Messenger 020 8777 0420

My mouth doesn’t seem to have a backspace key.

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 Experience Easter 2018

Between 19th and 28th March it was a great

privilege to welcome children from our two
local schools for a retelling of the Easter story.
Altogether 13 of the 15 Hawes Down Primary
School classes and all four Langley Park Primary
School classes came over to the church for an
hour-long session each.

The children were asked to find a chair for their

coats at the tables and to
make their way to the front
to find out what would
happen next. They were
told that Easter is a very important time in the
Christian calendar and we wanted to share the
story with them so that they might understand
its significance for Christians all over the world.
They were then divided into small groups and
went to a story-telling station to hear a five
minute account of one aspect of the events of
Holy Week.

After each group had visited all the stations and

had a chance to respond in some interactive
way they all
gathered
around the
empty tomb
display at the front of church and heard the
story of the Resurrection. Before returning to
school we served them squash and an angel
biscuit and sent them off with a blessing. We
needed over 600 biscuits; members of Mencap
Day Opportunities made 120 and others were
provided by a lady from Emmanuel URC, a
lady from St Mary’s and six people from our
church—including one of the Messy Church
mums. Seven church members helped with
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 timekeeping and
serving the squash
and biscuits and 10
church members
helped tell the
stories. In addition,
11 people from
other churches in
West Wickham joined us as storytellers,
including five local clergy members and
the minister from Chiselhurst Methodist
Church (it’s great when clergy can call on
a spouse for help!).

Thanks to everyone who made this year’s

Experience Easter event such a success
and to the schools for their enthusiasm in
taking part.
Deacon Laura MacBean

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF POVERTY IN KENYA

Could you buy a laying hen to provide eggs for one of our
Early Childhood Development Centres?

It’s Easter once more and as we all start thinking about buying
the usual selection of chocolate eggs we wanted to ask you a
question... What if you could do something that would make
an incredible difference to the lives of people in desperate
need - for the same sort of money you’d spend on treats?

Just £5 will buy a laying hen for one of our centres and this will produce eggs
that will provide nutrition high in protein to boost the immune system of the
children in our care. Not only that; surplus eggs can be sold to generate income
to benefit all our projects and help us break the cycle of poverty that leads to
dependence on overseas aid.

The church will be collecting your donations in the hope of being able to buy
a flock of hens so please give generously to the collecting box in the church.
- 13 -
 Laura has been spending
some time getting to know
the folk who attend the
Mencap Day Opportunities
Project on our premises.
In February they painted
stones with hearts (or stuck hearts on them) and
on Valentine’s Day they took a walk around West Wickham
to leave them out and about for people to find. The
stones were all labelled ‘Happy Valentine’s Day from West
Wickham Methodist Church’ and people have been finding
them and posting their finds on our church Facebook page
or on West Wickham Mums Facebook page.

In March Laura showed the group how

to creatively reuse old furniture by
decoupaging it with the words of hymns
from an old damaged hymn book. They
loved the idea and went to work with
gusto! Look out for our new-look umbrella
stand one of these days when they have
finished varnishing it at Mencap sessions.

Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

What do you do if you see a spaceman? You park your car in it, man.

A tax collector is a person who has what it takes to take what you have.

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 On Thursday, 8th March our Church was
host for the Churches Together in West
Wickham lunch. Katie was ‘Head Chef’
ably assisted by Jude, Margaret, Christine,
Rita, John and Joan. 35 guests sat down
to cottage pie and mixed vegetables
followed by a large selection of mouth watering desserts ending with coffee.

Eleven local community groups were represented including the guest speaker,
Peter Morton, from West Wickham Residents Association (WWRA). He explained
that the Association was formed on 25th March 1929 to encourage the preservation
of amenities and the betterment of West Wickham and their first activity was the
Boundary Walk on Rogation Sunday—a tradition that continues
today. They organised events in 2002 and 2012 to celebrate the
Queen’s Golden and Diamond Jubilees; they take an interest in
planning applications, policing, local environmental issues etc,
and contribute to the cost of planting street trees.

Ken Bryan from St Mary’s Church, and Co-Ordinator of the Work Club, spoke
of how this Club helps those seeking work, especially people who have been
made redundant.

Rev Hazel O’Sullivan, Vicar at St Francis and St Mary’s, advertised their Summer
Concert taking place on Saturday 21st July, 7.00 pm at St Mary’s Church and
Sunday 22nd July 3.00 pm at St Francis Church. She also spoke on the work of
Gravetalk which will meet at Corza Cafe 111-113 High Street, West Wickham on
17th April and 24th May at 7.30 pm. Topics cover death, dying and funerals.

The Representative from Memory Box Café, Lyn Eustace, told us that they
meet on the first and third Fridays of the month at Emmanuel Church and will
be celebrating their 2nd birthday in April. Memory Box gather for those with
memory issues and their Carers.

Foodbank will be holding a fundraising Concert on Friday, 16th March at St

Barnabus Church, Rushet Road, Orpington, BR5 2PU. Enquiries: 07855 107 839

These lunches are held to enable CTiWW to socialise and network with other
participants giving everyone the opportunity to update one another on what
each Group is doing. Any surplus funds from these lunches are distributed at
the end of the year to local charities.
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 Visionquest
Over 15 years ago our church supported our daughter, Tanya, in setting up a
charity called ‘Forming Futures’ . This came about when Tanya was teaching in
a private school in Cali, Columbia, and was so shocked to see street children
sniffing glue that she rented a large house and obtained training for five
homeless boys They eventually got jobs as bakers, mechanics, drivers and
even a circus acrobat. Tanya later left Forming Futures in the capable hands
of a Columbian lady and is now a Junior school teacher in London. Tanya’s
twin sister Louise also had the spirit of adventure and joined an American
scheme called Visionquest whose objective was to help young offenders into
mainstream society and away from a life of crime. Louise is now a counsellor at
a London University and I thought her account (below) of her earlier American
initiative might be of interest to our readers.
John Manuell

I flew out to Pennsylvania to work for a company called Visionquest, in 1995,

a year after completing my degree and doing a couple of part time jobs.
Visionquest is an innovative program, rooted in American Native Indian
traditions, which worked with at-risk youth on the east and west coast using
mobile programmes (wagon trains and boats) and stationary programmes
(buffalo soldier and boot camps). In November found myself at a camp in
Franklin, a small town near Pittsburgh, where over half of the staff were from
England, Ireland and Jamaica. My duties involved residential social work in a
barren outdoor setting – no frills and certainly no sugar on top. We worked
a split shift from 7.00–9.00 am then back again from 3.00–9.00 pm. Work
dominated our days and the quote often said was this is not a job it’s a life
style. I can remember when new groups of staff arrived there would always be
a handful who left the next day.
The philosophy and the use of native Indian traditions were key to the
programme’s success. There were a few native Indians who we called “chief”
and they would lead the ‘sweats’ (held in a ‘sauna igloo’) and other rituals which
were quite powerful for the young people and for staff to be part of. The idea
was to challenge the boys to reflect upon, and change their behaviour. Much
time was spent in an indoor gym where we would supervise small groups of
eight young men whilst they did basketball, weights and writing. There was at
times a monotony to the routine which is typical of being inside a jail.
When I reflect on my six months working on this programme I made some
really good friends. Some of the American staff who worked there were truly
inspiring in their dedication, youth work and commitment. It must have been
- 16-
tiring to have a consistent staff turn-over but they took it in their stride. I
had some good moments with the young men that I worked with as well as
some very challenging experiences. Sometimes I just wanted to come back to
London and be with my friends—it was all so much easier than working in the
Visionquest soldier camp!
Working in a predominantly male environment just wasn’t my cup of tea
and with 13 months left on my work visa I was fortunate enough to have
established good enough relations to transfer to the boat programme. This
was the cherry on top in terms of my time in America. Working on a schooner
with a small group of females and a few boys, in the most breath-taking
settings, was therapeutic and an experience of a life time. My journey started
in Maine; sailed across to Nova Scotia then back to Maine and down the whole
of the east coast to Key West. I would like to say I learnt how to do my knots, but
I wasn’t that bothered. I did scrub the deck, cook and build a lot of relationships!
I loved to listen and talk to the girls and boys at the helm. Many stories of joy and
pain were told but because we were sailing it somehow felt like a less intense
experience. During the journey back I departed in New York to return home.
What I recall about the time is the magnitude of the experiences that some of
the girls had been through, which they shared whilst living in small quarters.
It was truly humbling. Every type of abuse, poverty, torture and discrimination
was exposed as they told their stories and they were all children. Two of the
young girls were already parents at the ages of 13 years. At times, I felt very ill-
equipped to support them. I marvelled, and still do, at their human spirit and
how many of them were struggling to cope yet eager to learn, and willing to
support each other and hoping for a brighter future. I often think to this day
about many of those girls and wonder what has become of them.
During this time the O. J. Simpson trial was occurring and if there was
anything that could spark a fire in 1990s America, it was race—just like class
ruled here in the UK. A constant question in the States was “Where are you
from?”, and if you were mixed parentage you were black. At Visonquest 95%
of the young people were black or Puerto Rican so when O. J. Simpson was
found innocent there were roars of satisfaction. As if it could even up for the
legacy of slavery and gross racial discrimination that operated institutionally
in the American system.
Twenty five years on I have maintained contact with two friends over here
from Visionquest, one of whom is Godmother to my daughter. With the
awareness that prisons in the UK are over-crowded and there are low rates of
rehabilitation, perhaps the Visionquest programme could be a useful approach
to employ in a justice system that needs refreshing.

- 17 -
 WEST WICKHAM METHODIST CHURCH
Fellowship Group

Ploughman’s suPPer and

? UIZ
NIGHT
Supporting
saturday 12th may 2018
in the Top Hall
Bring a team or join one of ours
Ploughman’s @ 6.00 pm — Quiz @ 7.00 pm
Tickets £5
To help catering planning please let Jude know if you are coming

-18-
FELLOWSHIP GROUP FILM NIGHT
Saturday 7th April
at 6.30 for 7.00 pm in the top hall
 SMILE LINES
The following are extracts from religious exam papers

In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of
Ark, because Noah built an ark. The animals came on in pears.

The Jews are God’s chosen people, but throughout history they’ve had
trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients.

The Seventh Commandment is: Thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says do unto others before they
do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

The people who followed the Lord were called the twelve decibels.

St Paul cavorted to Christianity down the Damascus Road. There he

preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Some hymns for people over 50

Give Me the Old Timers’ Religion
Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
Just a Slower Walk with Thee
Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up
Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I’ve Forgotten Where I’ve Parked the Car
Count Your Many Birthdays, Count Them One By One
Blessed Insurance
It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
Leave us, Heavenly Father, leave us

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 PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR
LOCAL THEATRE GROUPS
15 - 19 MAY 2018
7.30 pm plus 2.30 pm on Thursday & Saturday

at. @ 2.30 Gilbert & Sullivan’s The

Mikado
Directed by Kevin Gauntlett Conducted by John Hargreaves

Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber Tickets BOX OFFICE

based on Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot.
Orchestrations by David Cullen and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
£15 020 8650 1552
Original production by Cameron Mackintosh Ltd and The Really Useful Group Ltd. wwos.org.uk/nextshow
An amateur production by arrangement with the Really Useful Group Ltd.
Directed by Kevin Gauntlett Conducted by T.B.A 31st July~ 4th August 2018, 8.00 pm
Choreographed by Danielle Dowsett
Wickham Theatre Centre
WWOS CHURCHILL THEATRE Corkscrew Hill, West Wickham
020 8650 1552
wwos.org.uk/nextshow
020 3285 6000
churchilltheatre.co.uk Also at the 25th International Gilbert & Sullivan Festival
The Royal Hall, Harrogate – Wednesday 8th August 2018

Wickham Theatre Centre

Corkscrew Hill, West Wickham HAYES PLAYERS
23 ~ 28 April 2018 at 8 pm
rd th

COMMUNICATING
DOORS 2038

by
Alan Ayckbourn

2018 Directed by
Kerry Heywood

1998

An amateur production
by arrangement with
Samuel French Ltd.

www.theatre62.org.uk

Ticket Enquiries from 23 rd March

07542 716888
Theatre 62 is a membership theatre with a licensed bar and is the production arm of Wickham Theatre Trust, Registered Charity and a Company
Limited by Guarantee. Audiences are required to be members or the accompanied guests of members. Membership enquiries 020 8464 1609.

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 Calendar
April
1 Sunday 8.00 am Rev. Derek Stanworth (Holy Communion)
followed by breakfast at 8.30.
10.30 am Deacon Laura MacBean (All Age Worship)
5 Thursday 10.00 am Cafe and Crafts Stay and Play
7 Saturday 6.30 pm Fellowship Group Film Night – Hampstead
8 Sunday 10.30 am Very Rev. Ray Coster
11 Wednesday 8.00 pm Praying Together
12 Thursday 10.00 am Cafe and Crafts Stay and Play
15 Sunday 10.30 am Richard Baker
16 Monday 1.30 pm Baby and Toddler Club
21 Saturday 4.00 pm Messy Church—Bible Roads
22 Sunday 10.30 am Rev. Karen George (Holy Communion)
23 Monday 1.30 pm Baby and Toddler Club
24 Tuesday 9.00 am Manse Mums at 73 Hawes Lane, West Wickham
28 Saturday 9.15 pm Prayer Breakfast
29 Sunday 10.30 am Deacon Laura MacBean

May
6 Sunday 10.30 am Jim Holman

1.00 pm Christian Aid walk
12 Saturday 6.00 pm Fellowship Group Ploughman’s Supper & Quiz
13 Sunday 10.30 am Christina Messenger (All Age & Parade Service)
***Last date for June/July copy ***
14 Monday 1.30 pm Baby and Toddler Club
19 Saturday 2.00 pm Concert & Cream Tea in aid of Christian Aid
20 Sunday 10.30 am Rev. Karen George/ Deacon Laura MacBean

Holy Communion followed by Church AGM
21 Monday 1.30 pm Baby and Toddler Club
22
Tuesday 9.00 am Manse Mums at St Mary’s Manse,The Avenue
27 Sunday 10.30 am Rev Richard Ford
28 Monday 1.30 pm Baby and Toddler Club
30
Wednesday 8.00 pm Praying Together
31 Thursday 10.00 am Cafe and Crafts Stay and Play

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 Future Dates for your Diary
Tuesday 19th June: Manse Mums at St. Mary’s Vicarage, The Avenue
Wednesday 20th June: Praying Together
Saturday 7th July: Prayer Breakfast
Tuesday 10th July: Manse Mums at St. Mary’s Vicarage, The Avenue
Tuesday 10th July: Church Council meeting
Wednesday 25th July: Praying Together

Deacon Laura MacBean

is on sabbatical leave from 23rd May to 23rd August

Praying Matters
‘Praying Together’ Meetings
Wednesdays at 8.00 pm at at Fred and Joye Miles’ house (8289 6112)
11 April 30 May 20 June 25 July None in August

Quarterly Prayer Breakfasts

Saturdays from 9.15–10.30 am
on the following dates:
28 April: Led by Dr Clive Timehin
and Deacon Laura MacBean
7 July: Led by Dr Clive Timehin
Almighty Father shed the light of your love
over the days that lie ahead.
May every thought, word and action
become a worthy offering to you.
Amen

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 USEFUL CONTACTS
Revd. Karen George 8460 0669 contact@bromleymethodistcircuit.org.uk
Deacon Laura MacBean 8249 8592 laura.macbean@googlemail.com
Stewards
John Manuell 8776 0681 Jude Seldon 8777 1552
Mary Lancaster 8460 4972 Marion Graham 8466 8460
Vestry Stewards
Linnett Anderson 8776 2586 Maureen Bazeley 8777 9037
Dot Pullan 8777 9102 Joye Miles 8289 6112

Church Council Secretary Treasurer

Joanna Powell 8289 0871 Maureen Bazeley 8777 9037
Property Stewards Church Bookings
Margaret Cornwell 8658 3979 Joan Clark 8777 7508
Malcolm Taylor 8462 2101
Flower Rota Junior Church
Margaret Cornwell 8658 3979 Marion Graham 8466 8460
Cradle Roll Secretary Praying Together
Linda Harvey 8462 4468 Joye Miles 8289 6112
Scouts Guides
Stuart Haydon 8777 1365 Helen Wilkin 8777 5142
Brownies Baby & Toddler Group
Caroline Thomas 8460 2816 Laura MacBean 8249 8592
Manse Mums Messy Church
Laura MacBean 8249 8592 Laura MacBean 8249 8592
WEBSITE: http://wwmchaweslane.weebly.com

JUNE/JULY NEWSLETTER
Copy should reach the editor by Sunday 13th May
email the material to courtpress@aol.com
or leave copy in the ‘C’ pigeon hole in the Church foyer
marked “FAO Graham Copeland”.
Contributions of articles such as
Interesting places visited, life experiences
family anecdotes etc. are always welcome
We would love to hear from you !
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