JOURNEY TO APOSTASY: AN EXPLORATORY STUDY

An Undergraduate Thesis Presented to the

Faculty of Psychology Department
College of Arts and Social Sciences
Tarlac State University
Tarlac City

In Full Fulfillment of the

Course Requirements for the Degree of
Bachelor of Arts in Psychology

By:
Cayabyab, Jerwin Y.
De Vera, Renard R.
Mesina, Ezekiel A.
April 2018
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Abstract

Title: Journey to Apostasy: An Exploratory Study

Researchers: Cayabyab, Jerwin Y.

De Vera, Renard R.

Mesina, Ezekiel A.

Institution: Tarlac State University

Course: Bachelor of Arts in Psychology

Keywords: Apostates, Faith, Crises, Religious Questions, Signs of Commitment

In our society, religion is greatly emphasized as an important part of our everyday

lives. Almost everyone belongs to a certain religion, however there are individuals who,

unlike a great majority of people, do not believe in the existence of a god – they are

called ‘apostates’. The researchers decided to conduct this study to gain a better

understanding of how people become apostates by studying the stages towards apostasy.

This study sought to find out the (a) respondent’s personal backgrounds

(upbringing, educational background, socio – cultural environment, and previous

religious background), (b) crises the respondents experienced that made them question

their faith, (c) actions the respondents did to find answers to their religious questions, (d)

the respondents’ introduction to apostasy, (e) extension of engagement with apostasy, (f)
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signs of commitment to their identity as apostates and (g) changes occurred after

identifying themselves as apostates. Moreover, it also extracted implication from the

findings on the abovementioned concerns.

The researchers employed a qualitative research design using the case study

approach and utilized an interview guide to gather information necessary in this study.

The research respondents were composed of ten (10) apostates who were at least 25 years

old above and have been apostate for 1 year and has scored at least 3.5 in the Non-

Religious -Non Spiritual Scale.

The findings of the study showed that majority of the respondents were raised to

be religious. Ranking first for the crises experienced by the respondents is being

disappointed by the church members and ranking second is having their prayers

unanswered. Ranking first for the actions which the respondents did to find answers for

their religious questions is spending hours reading books and articles written by scientists

and apostates. For the respondents’ encounters towards apostasy, ranking first was having

encountered apostasy through browsing on the internet. Ranking first, respondents had

their engagement with apostasy extended by joining online groups for apostates. Majority

of the respondents’ sign of commitment to being an apostate was that they stopped

praying. Ranking first, respondents reported that they became more open to different

ideas after becoming an apostate, and ranking second, respondents felt more sense of

freedom upon being an apostate.

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Acknowledgement

The researchers would like to express their deepest and genuine gratitude to the

following persons to the fulfillment of this study.

To their beloved family, for their unconditional moral and financial support and

for the encouragement to finish and finally succeed in their academic endeavor.

To Dr. Enrico T. Tañedo, the researcher’s adviser for the continuous guidance,

support, consideration, informative advice and remarks that he had given. Basically, for

generously giving his time and expertise for the success of the study

To Dr. Editha Q. Villavicencio and Dr. Marie Paz H. Angeles, researcher’s

panelist, for their helpful suggestions and insights to improve the study.

To Mr. Jersey P. Pangilinan, department’s thesis coordinator, for sharing his

knowledge to help the researchers get more accurate and informative results.

To Mr. Nikko Pacanas, the researcher’s language critic, who helped greatly in

the semantic analysis of language and grammar for further improvement of the study.
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Dedication

To my family who supported me dearly, to our adviser for the patience and

knowledge.

To all freethinkers, never be afraid

EZEKIEL A. MESINA
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Dedication

To my beloved family who supported me morally and financially and to our thesis adviser

that has done everything to be able to help us.

Thank you very much

JERWIN Y. CAYABYAB
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Dedication

I wholeheartedly dedicated this success to my family for their unconditional love and

support and lastly to our Almighty God, thank you for all the strength, love, and wisdom

that you have given to me

To God all be the Glory!

RENARD R. DE VERA
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Table of Contents

Abstract ............................................................................................................................................. i
Acknowledgement .......................................................................................................................... iii
Dedication ....................................................................................................................................... iv
Dedication ........................................................................................................................................ v
The Problem: It’s Background ......................................................................................................... 1
Introduction .................................................................................................................................. 1
Statement of the Problem ............................................................................................................. 3
Scope and Delimitation ................................................................................................................ 4
Significance of the Study ............................................................................................................. 4
Definition of Terms...................................................................................................................... 6
Related Literature......................................................................................................................... 8
Related Studies ............................................................................................................................ 9
Theoretical Framework .............................................................................................................. 14
Paradigm of the Study................................................................................................................ 17
Research Design ............................................................................................................................ 19
Research Locale ......................................................................................................................... 19
Respondents of the Study........................................................................................................... 19
Research Instrument................................................................................................................... 20
Sampling Technique .................................................................................................................. 20
Data gathering procedure ........................................................................................................... 20
Presentation, Analysis and Interpretation of Data ......................................................................... 22
1. Respondents’ Personal Backgrounds ..................................................................................... 22
1.1 Respondents’ Upbringing ................................................................................................ 22
1.2. Respondents’ Educational Background .......................................................................... 27
1.3. Socio - Cultural Environment of the Respondents .......................................................... 29
1.4. Previous Religious Background ...................................................................................... 31
2. Crises the Respondents Went Through .................................................................................. 34
3. Actions the Respondents Did to Find Answers to their Religious Questions ........................ 40
4. Respondents’ Encounters Toward Introduction Apostasy ..................................................... 43
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6. Respondents’ Signs of Commitment to Being an Apostate ................................................... 48

7. Changes Observed by the Respondents Subsequent to their Identification as Apostates ...... 50
Implication of the Study............................................................................................................. 53
Summary of Findings, Conclusions, and Recommendations......................................................... 58
1. Respondents’ Personal Backgrounds ..................................................................................... 58
2. Crises the Respondents Went Through .................................................................................. 59
3. Actions the Respondents Did to Find Answers to their Religious Questions ........................ 59
4. Respondents’ Encounters ....................................................................................................... 59
5. Respondents’ Extension of Engagement in Apostasy............................................................ 60
6. Respondents’ Signs of Commitment ..................................................................................... 60
7. Changes Observed by the Respondents Subsequent to their Identification as Apostates ...... 60
Conclusions .................................................................................................................................... 61
Recommendations .......................................................................................................................... 62
References:..................................................................................................................................... 64
APPENDICES ............................................................................................................................... 66
APPENDIX A ............................................................................................................................ 67
APPENDIX B ............................................................................................................................ 75
APPENDIX C ............................................................................................................................ 76
STORIES ....................................................................................................................................... 79
APPENDIX E ............................................................................................................................ 80
Case B ........................................................................................................................................ 82
Case C ........................................................................................................................................ 84
Case D ........................................................................................................................................ 86
Case E ........................................................................................................................................ 87
Case F ........................................................................................................................................ 88
Case H ........................................................................................................................................ 91
Case I ......................................................................................................................................... 93
Case J ......................................................................................................................................... 95
 Chapter 1

The Problem: It’s Background

Introduction

Throughout recorded human history, religion has played a big role in the various

aspects of man’s life. The idea of gods that people worship provides hope, joy and a

sense of purpose. On the other hand, religious leaders, provide their members directions

in the proper way of worship and sets of moral standards that are to be followed in order

to attain an eternal reward of some form. The choices that people make in their everyday

lives are influenced by their religious beliefs. Even the foods that they eat and the clothes

that they wear are influenced by these beliefs to some extent. However, on a much larger

scale, religion has influenced people to make choices that radically affected the course of

history. Wars have been waged in the name of religion – one example is the conquest of

Jerusalem or “the Crusades” which lasted for 200 years, it is estimated that 1.7 million

people died in total in a time when the approximate world population was only at 300

million. Nevertheless, religion has been a big influence in the formation of laws and basic

rights throughout different countries. Hence, religion is indeed a big part of humanity.

The worship of a god or gods is a normal phenomenon in the society. However,

despite this widespread ideology, there are still individuals who lack belief in any

particular supreme divine being who influences, in one way or another, the lives of

people. These people go by different labels such as: atheist, secularist, humanist, religious

“none”, freethinker, irreligious, naturalist, skeptic, etc. while others refuse to go by any
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label to prevent social stigma and discrimination; nevertheless, such individuals are what

we consider as “apostates”.

There is good reason to wonder that apostates do exist in a world where the

existence of a god is a basic concept accepted by society. There have been predictions

that the relevance of religion will soon fade as the world modernizes. In fact, recent

surveys found that the diminishing significance of religion is happening startlingly fast.

Bullard (2016) stated, that the religiously unaffiliated are now the second largest group in

North America and most of Europe. The United States witnessed an increase in the

number of apostates, from 1% of the population in the year 2005 to 5% in 2012. On a

larger scale, they now occupy 13% of the world population, an increase of 9% since

2005, based on a survey conducted by WIN-Gallup International last 2012. In this regard,

there have recently been a growing interest in studying the Psychology and demographics

of apostates. For instance, there are results that characterize apostates as somewhat low in

sociality and high in individualism and nonconformity. They are likewise regarded as

people who prefer rational reasoning to intuition, and who value as well skepticism on

received teachings. In demographic studies, they are also found to be high in intellectual

achievement. (Harris, 2012) Moreover, Hunter (2010), who was wary of the long-

standing correlation between religious belief and external locus of control, argued that

people who have low social status would have frequent experiences of feeling controlled

by external persons and events. These people then connect their experience of external

control to an external power, such as fate or a god.

The Philippines is a country which is predominantly religious, which makes it

unlikely for someone to come across an apostate. More often than not, people assume a
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person is Christian, Muslim or someone who believes in some sort of god; and, when a

person comes out as an apostate, they are often met with surprise or disbelief. The

Filipino Freethinkers (2013) published a blog that enumerates eight possible

misconceptions Filipinos have regarding atheists, some of which are the following:

“Atheists are evil, evil Satanists”, “Atheists have no morals”, “Atheists are a bad

influence on children”, and “Atheists are arrogant godless people”. These misconceptions

could then fuel discrimination and possible hate towards the apostate population.

With the foregoing discussion, the researchers, were driven to conduct an

investigation on apostasy, particularly that of identifying the stages that apostates go

through that lead them to become apostates – with the end in view of yielding results that

would serve as a basis for future deeper studies on the antecedents of apostasy, especially

in the Philippine setting.

Statement of the Problem

This study aimed to determine the stages of apostasy and pursued to answer the

following specific problems:

1. What are the are the respondents’ personal backgrounds (upbringing, educational

background, socio – cultural environment, religious background)?

2. What crises did the respondents experience that made them question their faith?

3. What actions did the respondents do to find answers for their religious questions?

4. How were the respondents introduced to apostasy?

5. How did the respondents’ engagement with apostasy extend?

6. How did the respondents show their commitment to their identity as apostates?
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7. What changes occurred among the respondents after identifying themselves as

apostates?

Scope and Delimitation

This study focused on 10 individuals’ journey to apostasy coming from Tarlac

Province.

This study specifically dealt with the contexts that facilitated religious doubts

among the respondents, the crises which the respondents experienced that made them

question their faith, the actions the respondents did to find answers for their religious

questions, how the respondents encountered other apostates, the kinds of interactions the

respondents had with other apostates, the time when the respondents came to the

conclusion of identifying themselves as apostates, and the changes that occurred among

the respondents after identifying themselves as apostates.

Significance of the Study

This study is beneficial to the following sectors:

The Church, this study will help them broaden their knowledge on apostasy as to

the possible reasons why individuals give up their faith in God. With that knowledge, the

church can create programs to help these individuals deal with their religious doubts.

People having religious doubts often get frustrated if their answers are not being satisfied

by the people they ask from. With the help of this study the Church would understand the

importance of being able to answer these people’s questions

The Family, this study will help the family members generate help and support

for their loved ones and prevent them from unfairly judging the apostates’ reasons as to
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why they abandoned their faith. They can then be able to help the apostates in looking for

answers for their religious questions and be able to accept their family member’s choice

of abandoning religion.

The School, this study will help broaden the insights of the school with regards to

apostasy in order for them to be mindful of the situation at hand. Thus, the school could

create measures to prevent any form of discrimination towards the apostates.

The Guidance Counselors and Psychologists, this study will serve as an

additional reference for them to further understand the situations of apostates and help

them create interventions for this kind of people. There are times when apostasy can have

a negative impact on apostates. The realization that there is no god to help them when

other people can’t can make them feel alone and hopeless, also, when the people around

them discriminate them for being apostates, this can make them feel isolated and

unwanted. Interventions must then be offered to this people to help them cope up with the

consequences brought by their new identities.

The Future Researchers, the result of this study will help them create deeper

studies regarding the possible antecedents and/or demographics of apostasy. Since the

number of apostates are increasing within the past years, studies that try to understand

this phenomenon is important because once this is understood, the results of these studies

could then be relayed to the lay people to educate them as to why there are people who

become apostates and to prevent them from discriminating these apostates.

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Definition of Terms

Below are concepts and terminologies which are operationally defined to facilitate

a clearer understanding of the statements included in this study.

Actions. Steps the respondents took to find answers to their religious questions.

Apostasy. The abandonment or renunciation of any formerly held religious belief without

the acceptance of a new religious belief.

Changes. Internal changes observed by the respondents upon their identification as

apostates such as a change in mindset, sense of freedom, etc.

Conservative. Adhering to traditional values and practices opposing to modern values

and practices.

Crises. Factors that have caused the respondents to develop religious doubts.

Personal Backgrounds. This includes the upbringing, cultural, educational and religious

background of the respondents.

Religious. Upbringing or cultural environment wherein religious beliefs and practices are

emphasized.

Signs of Commitment. Behavioral actions respondents did in response to their

identification as apostates.

Superstitious. Belief and practices about irrational causalities handed down from

generation to generation.
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Technologically Oriented. Having technology such as computers, mobile phones, etc. as

a part of daily life.

Traditional. Having been raised in a cultural environment that emphasizes the

celebration of traditions such as fiestas and Christmas.

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Chapter 2

Review of Related Literature and Studies

This chapter presents relevant literature and studies gathered by the researchers

purposely to develop a thorough understanding and provide a rich background in putting

the study in its proper perspective.

Related Literature

Siner (2011) identified four stages of Atheist Student Identity Development. The

first stage, awareness, is when the student first begins to recognize that he or she may not

believe in a concept of God, that this doubt differentiates him or her from other students,

and that other students exist with similar doubts. It is where the student might still adhere

to a low level of faith but is beginning to give up theistic beliefs.

The second stage, exploration, is when the student discovers that he or she does

not believe in God and tries to figure out what that means. This is also when the student

explores his or her membership in and attitudes toward the atheist community, perhaps by

attending a meeting of a humanistic or freethought association on campus or by finding a

meaningful experience to dialogue with likeminded people.

The third stage, deepening/commitment, is when the student develops self-

fulfillment and self-knowledge about atheism: a “personally crafted ideology around,

including or supporting his/her atheism, likely featuring complex patterns of doubt”. The

student is likely to have “active participation in some not-perceive-the-need-for-a-God

concept. They explore their beliefs sporadically, they may not value community as
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highly, and they ultimately come to the conclusion that there is no one to help mankind

but themselves, so we must help ourselves and others. Scientific humanists, by contrast,

often become aware of atheistic beliefs because they find that science can natural

concepts better than God. They explore their beliefs methodically through science,

joining groups such as The Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the

Paranormal. They ultimately come to the conclusion that science and faith are either at

odds, incompatible, or complementary.

The fourth and final stage, internalization or synthesis, is when the student

incorporates the atheist identity into the rest of his or her overall identity. The student is

fully ready to choose when to come out publicly as an atheist.

The aforesaid literature is similar to this study because it also dealt with the stages

that apostates go through towards apostasy. It also identified that apostasy starts from

having factors that made the apostates develop doubt. These doubts then facilitated the

apostates to make actions to deal with their doubts, similarly, this study will identify the

actions the respondents did to find answers for their religious questions. The final stage

identified in the above literature is when the apostate identifies himself as an apostate

which will also be identified in this study.

Related Studies

Madge & Hemming (2016) concluded that despite having a religious label,

possibly in paper or tradition, growing up in an environment that put little emphasis to

religion may lead to apostasy. They conducted this study on young British religious

‘nones’ which focused on people who describe themselves as atheist, agnostic, or of ‘no’
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religion within a large-scale survey of over ten thousand 13 to 17-year-olds, and

interviews, discussion groups and eJournal entries involving one hundred and fifty-seven

17 to 18-year-olds across Britain. It aimed to understand the diversity in beliefs and

practices among young religious ‘nones’ who report the absence of a specific religious

faith. The results showed a wide diversity among the respondents with regards to the

reasons of why they label themselves as religious ‘nones’ who report the absence of a

specific religious faith. There are those who grew up in a family with minimal to no

amount of religious practice. One interviewee described herself as someone who haven’t

been brought up to any religion or god. Although, she thinks that she underwent the

process of Christening, she and her parents don’t follow a certain religion. In light of this,

we can hypothesize that one possible reason for apostasy is growing up in an

environment which exerts minimal emphasis on religious practices.

The above-mentioned study is related to this study because it also dealt with the

contexts as to why the apostates developed religious doubts. Similarly, this study aims to

identify the contexts that facilitated religious doubts among the respondents.

Chase (2013) conducted a study on the reasons why Millennials from

conservative Christian backgrounds stopped attending church. The purpose was to

understand why attendance attrition is at an all-time high for those in the Millennial

generation, ages 18 to 29. Data from 18 semi-structured interviews with former attendees

demonstrate that this phenomenon is not due to a simplistic list of reasons but is actually

a result of a complex development involving varying interrelated processes. The primary

processes at work are cognitive and spiritual disconnection and disengagement for

personal wellbeing. With regards to cognitive and spiritual disconnect, the study found
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that Millennials describe a process that demonstrates how they are not just quitting

church, but in many cases, they are fundamentally rejecting Christianity’s philosophy of

life. This is no because they just want to ignore what Christianity teaches, but rather

because they simply do not believe it is true. Oftentimes they want to believe it is true,

but their search leads them to dead ends both intellectually and spiritually. Cognitively,

many cannot reconcile what they have learned outside of church with lessons taught

inside church. Spiritually, the Millennials have little to no experience of the supernatural

presence of God, which could supplement the church’s teachings and provide a personal

witness of the veracity of the faith. The absence of both cognitive and spiritual

connection puts Millennial in a different position regarding Christian faith and

attendance. They feel that they must either suppress their intellects or leave. Since

Millennials find it difficult to suppress their intellects for long—if at all—they respond

by abandoning the congregation to which they belonged, and often enough, their faith as

well.

Wright et al. (2011) studied narratives from fifty former Christians drawn from an

online community of deconverts, the writers described their experiences with and

explanations for leaving the Christian faith. The writers gave little mention to non-

Christians as pulling them out of the faith. These narratives emphasized external, rather

than internal, attributions for the deconversion. From these, they identified four general

explanations for deconversion. Intellectual and theological concerns represented

problems with the doctrine of Christianity or general belief in religion. These included

favoring a scientific worldview, not understanding why suffering exists in this life or the

next, and not believing in the Bible as divinely inspired. God’s failures involved
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interpersonal dissatisfaction with God. He did not help in times of need. Interactions with

Christians included various frustrations with Christians, as individuals or as a church.

Christian friends and family would respond to doubts with pat answers or criticism.

Christians’ behavior would not match their beliefs. Interactions with Non-Christians

involved a few references to non-Christians providing support and information during the

deconversion process.

The foregoing studies are related to the study because they also dealt with the

reasons as to why the apostates gave up their faith in God. Similarly, this study aims to

identify the contexts that facilitated religious doubts among the respondents and the crises

they went through that made them question their faith.

Chase (2013) found that millennial apostates consulted their religious peers about

their doubts. The apostates however, were not able to receive satisfactory answers from

their religious peers or even leaders. In one testimony, an apostate was not given any

satisfactory answers to his questions or doubts. Like others, he perceives that Christians

use God and their beliefs as answers for things that carry very little to explanatory power

or weight for someone without the same beliefs. Thus, Millennials are left to fend for

themselves intellectually and spiritually in many cases, grappling with their doubts and

their questions until they find a resolve. Unfortunately for the church, this resolve is often

contrary to belief, adherence to the faith, and attendance. After struggling with their

doubts about Christianity, Millennials finally resolve their search for truth. The common

resolve is that there is no objective truth outside of what they can discover through

empirical testing. Regarding objective truth, Millennials overwhelmingly adopt the

scientific method for understanding the natural world around them.

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Barna Group (2017) concluded that among those who either currently or

previously experienced spiritual doubt, the most common response for about half of them

(45%) was to leave their church or worship gatherings. This was also the most common

activity to halt even among practicing Christians (36%) and regular churchgoers (33%).

Three in 10 adults stopped reading the Bible (29%) and praying (29%), while another

quarter (25%) quit talking with friends or family about spirituality, God or religion.

Millennials were significantly more likely than other generations to stop doing all of the

above, and at rates much higher than the general population. Facing spiritual doubt can

also be a quiet experience; four in 10 doubters (39%) didn’t change anything in response

to their doubt. Though doubt may affect one’s spiritual routines, many refuse to sort

through their questions alone. Four in 10 (40%) of those who experienced spiritual doubt

went to their friends or family to find help or answers, and 19 percent found an ally in

their spouse. The church remained a refuge for one in five doubters (22%), and a similar

percentage (29%) turned to the scriptures for support. Surprisingly, only 18 percent of

spiritual doubters turned to their pastor or spiritual leader for answers, just before books

on God, spirituality or religion (15%). The fact that so few would go to their spiritual

leaders (or church, for the matter) may reflect the awkwardness of confiding in these

individuals and institution that represent one’s questions, as well as the challenges that

ministry leaders face to create safe spaces for doubt. Among practicing Christians, more

than half (52%) would turn scripture, 42% would turn to church, and one in three (32%)

would turn to a pastor or spiritual leader. Other places doubters turned for help or

answers include online resources (12%), a counselor (5%), a conference or retreat (4%).

(One in five [20%] mention they had some other method of dealing with doubt.) Non-
 14

practicing Christians—those who profess a faith but do not actively attend church—

sought answers primarily from friends and family (38%) or the Bible (25%), with very

few turning back to the church (16%) or a pastor (12%).

The above-mentioned studies have bearing on this study since they revolve

around the response of apostates to their religious doubts. These responses would also be

identified in this study as the actions the respondents did to find answers for their

religious questions.

Theoretical Framework

If there is a psychological theory that gave much direction to the course of the

present study undertaking, it is the Integrative Model of Conversion by Lewis Rambo.

Lewis Rambo achieved a degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology and

Religion at the University of Chicago. He is a research professor of Psychology and

Religion at the San Francisco Theological Seminary, a visiting professor of Psychology

and Religion at the Fudan University in China, and the Editor-in-Chief of the Pastoral

Psychology – one of the oldest and most well established academic journal in the field of

Psychology and Religion. He is also the author of Understanding Religious Conversion

and the Oxford Handbook of Religious Conversion.

Rambo’s Integrative Model of Conversion classifies conversion as a highly

complex process. He views it as a process of religious change that is affected by an

interaction of numerous events, experiences, ideologies, people institutions, and how

these different experiences interact and accumulate over time. From his research, Rambo

created this model that occurs in over seven stages.

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The first stage is the context; this is the starting point that consists of a person’s

personal backgrounds – these include cultural, personal, sociological, or theological

factors. The second stage is the crisis; the crisis is a conflict that happened in a person’s

life – either personal, social, or both – that made him question his/her faith. The third

stage is the quest; this is the intentional activity on the part of the individual in which

he/she seeks answers to his/her questions. The fourth stage is the encounter; this is the

recognition of alternative religious option. It may be facilitated by an individual

(“advocate”) or an institution (missionary activity). The fifth stage is the interaction; this

is the extended engagement with the new religious option. The sixth stage is the

commitment; this is the identification with the new religious reality. The seventh and

final stage is the consequences; this is the conversion as a result of a new commitment,

including beliefs, behaviors, and identity.

In connection to the present study, apostasy or “deconversion”, is also considered

as a complex process which possibly occurs in several stages. The stages in Rambo’s

model would be used to identify the stages apostates go through towards apostasy. The

first stage in Rambo’s model deals with the context or the factors that facilitate or hinder

conversion, similarly, this study would deal with the contexts or the apostates’ personal

backgrounds which includes their upbringing, educational background, socio - cultural

environment, and their religious background. The second stage on Rambo’s model deals

with the crisis or events that led the apostates to have doubts regarding their previously

held religious beliefs. This study will also identify whether the apostates experienced

some form of crisis in their lives that led them to question the existence of god, these

crises may be the death of a loved one, natural disaster, etc. Rambo’s third stage is the
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quest. Upon having doubts with their beliefs, the apostates could have had undergone a

quest to search for alternative approaches, within or beyond their original faith tradition

through the form of reading, broadcast media or talking with people who they deem to be

capable of answering their questions. The fourth stage in Rambo’s model is the

encounter. Upon undergoing a quest, the apostates might have had experienced an

encounter with different people who have the same religious doubts or who have already

completely given up their faith. Encounters like these may have strengthened their doubts

or answered some of their questions. The fifth stage is the interaction. Upon encountering

such individuals, the apostates might have had found themselves interacting with a larger

group or a community of apostates. These communities may be found in social media

sites as they are very easy to find or possibly referred to by the individuals they have had

an encounter earlier on. Rambo’s sixth stage is the commitment or the identification with

the new religious reality. Similarly, this study will identify the actions which the

respondents took as a result of their commitment to their new identity as “apostates”.

Rambo’s final stage, consequences, is the conversion as a result of a new commitment,

including beliefs, behaviors, and identity. In this study all the changes that occurred to the

respondents upon identifying themselves as apostates will be identified.

With the help of Rambo’s Model of Conversion, the researchers aimed to

determine the stages that individuals go through towards apostasy.

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CONTEXT
(upbringing, educational background, socio – cultural
environment, religious background)

CRISIS

ACTIONS

ENCOUNTER

INTERACTIONS

IDENTIFICATION

CHANGES

Paradigm of the Study

Figure 1.
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It is conceived that there are contexts that facilitate apostates to develop religious

doubts. This may include different personal, sociological or cultural factors such as an

inclination to scientific thinking or having a skepticism about a lot of things and for

some, growing up in an environment that emphasized little concern about religious

activities (despite belonging to a certain denomination). A crisis is also perceived to have

caused the apostates to question their faith, events such as a loss of a loved one, or having

witnessed a terrible tragedy (death of hundreds due to an environmental cataclysm) or

even simple dissatisfactions from the church they belong to.

The researchers likewise think that upon having reasons for the apostates to doubt

their previous religious beliefs, the apostates did certain ways to deal with these doubts –

to answer the questions they had in mind. Some may have had asked their religious elders

for answers, read different books about history, science and/or religion, or watched

broadcast media involving the topic of religion or non-religion. The answers gathered

from this can then greatly affect whether they would hold on to their faith or not.

Through these searches, the apostates may have had encounters with other apostates

which then led them to interact with a community of like-minded people.

After searching for answers for these apostates’ religious doubts, a certain

decision will then be made by these seekers – all based from the satisfaction or

dissatisfaction of the answers they have gathered. The apostates, have of course chosen to

give up their faith and embrace a new way of thinking, identity and sets of beliefs

Finally, findings from the abovementioned concerns will then be analyzed by the

respondents to identify the stages which the apostates went through towards apostasy.
 19

Chapter 3

METHODOLOGY

This chapter presents the research methodology that was employed by the

researchers in order to finish the study. It also contains detailed information on how the

research was conducted, how the data were gathered and the varied procedures,

techniques, and instrument to meet the objectives of the study.

Research Design

The present research undertaking is qualitative which used case study design. As

such, it will use the semi – structured interview method involving certain indigenous

research techniques such as, padalaw-dalaw, pakikipagpalagayang loob, pagtatanong-

tanong, and pakikipagkwentuhan to build up rapport and gather initial information that

may be essential in the study.

Research Locale

The Researchers conducted the study in the different provinces in Luzon, where

Tarlac is located. Pampanga, Zambales, Bulacan, Bataan, Aurora and Nueva Ecija and

the neighboring provinces: Pangasinan, Metro Manila, Cordillera and Southern Luzon.

Respondents of the Study

The respondents of the study were ten (10) individuals who were determined to be

apostates, and who are 25 years old and above.

 20

Research Instrument

The primary instrument used in this study is a semi – structured interview. This

instrument was used because the researchers aimed to acquire needed information in a

face-to-face manner of conversation. It contained open-ended lead questions intended to

generate variety of responses that will result in the collection of necessary data that will

answer all the concerns in the present study. By utilizing this said interview, the

researchers were able to probe and ask follow up questions. Moreover, it is also the

purpose of the researchers to ensure that the same general array of information was

collected from each respondent while allowing a degree of freedom and adaptability in

getting all the needed data relevant to the particular research problem.

Sampling Technique

The researchers used the non-probability sampling method so called purposive

sampling technique as certain characteristics of the respondents are necessary in the

study. It is defined as selective or subjective sampling and is a non-probability sampling

method. Respondents who participated in the study were chosen based on the identified

criteria which are: (a) ages 25 years old onwards, (b) who are apostates for at least 1 year.

Data gathering procedure

The sample respondents arraying with the respondents’ schedule of interview and

their convenience that will qualify on the criteria will be asked to participate in the study.

The criterion for the respondents to participate in the study was that, they should have

passed the Nonreligious-Nonspiritual Scale (NRNSS). The researchers provided

 21

informed consents which were discussed verbally and documentarily for the agreement of

both the researchers and respondents’ parties after the approval of request. The

researchers made use of the indigenous methods such as: pagtatanong- tanong – in this

method, the researchers underwent a kind of questioning session with their kalahok or

participants. In this method, however, lead questions (those questions which directly refer

to the topic being studied) are not supposed to be asked; instead the questions to be asked

are supposed to have been derived from the kalahok’s answers. The word tanong literally

means “question”. Pakikipagpalagayang-loob – is a method wherein the researchers aim

to establish rapport with the respondents with the intension of gaining their trust and

confidence. In doing so, collecting relevant data was much easier and are more credible.

Pakikiramdam – in this approach, the researcher used entirely his or her own feelings or

emotions to justify if his participants are ready to be part of his research or not. The term

damdam literally means “inner perception of emotions”.

Using the indigenous methods, the interview started by engaging in a light

conservation with the respondents. Establishing rapport will make the respondents

comfortable in expressing this feelings and views regarding sensitive issues and answer

question about the study in details.

 22

Chapter 4

Presentation, Analysis and Interpretation of Data

This chapter presents the results, analyses and interpretations of the data gathered

from the interviews administered to the respondents of the study. The data are presented

in a clear format for better understanding and are then analyzed and interpreted.

1. Respondents’ Personal Backgrounds

This section shows the personal backgrounds of the respondents based on their

upbringing, educational background, employment status, the cultural trends around them,

and their previous religious affiliation and training.

1.1 Respondents’ Upbringing

Table 1
Upbringing of the Respondents
N = 10

Upbringing f P R
Raised by both parents 7 70% 1
Predominantly raised by mother 1 10% 2
Predominantly raised by father 1 10% 2
Predominantly raised by non-immediate family 1 10% 2

As shown on Table 1, seven (7) or 70% of the respondents were raised by

both parents, one (1) or 10% of the respondents was predominantly raised by her

mother. Also, one (1) or 10% of the respondents was predominantly raised by his

father, and one (1) or 10% of the respondents was raised by a non-immediate

family member who in this case was his grandmother.

 23

It was found that two of those who were raised by both their parents grew

up in a home that does not emphasize the importance of religion; instead, both of

them were raised primarily to be respectful, to respect elders and to respect

everyone no matter their racial background. They grew up believing in the

existence of a God but they do not attend church services very often. One of them

attends church with his parents only on special occasions such as birthdays and

Christmas he said “hindi naman sila religious yung mga magulang ko, which is

nagsisimba sila pero hindi yung every Sunday na nagsisimba. Parang occasional,

kung yung may occasion may birthday o pasko lang”, having raised by non-

religious parents, he was not profoundly exposed to the teachings of the church

they belong in, which is the Catholic Church. He grew up not seeing religion as

an important part of life and has therefore shown little interest to it. The other

recalls that she has only attended church three times in her whole life for some

reasons she could not anymore remember, she said “we go to church only three

times when I was still a kid. I don’t remember why we go, but we go”. Her

statement suggests that participating in religious activities was not given much

importance in their home, she did not grow up seeing religion as an important

aspect in life, she believes that there is an existing god but she would not pray to it

as she was not accustomed to doing so. These findings were similar to the

findings of a study conducted by Madge & Hemming (2016) were they have

found out that despite having a religious label, possibly in paper or tradition,

growing up in an environment that put little emphasis to religion may lead to

apostasy.
 24

Another case stated that, apart from being raised to be religious by both

parents, (she was also given a children’s Bible by her parents to have her read it

for her to know about Jesus) she was also raised to be curious. Her parents would

teach her to ask many questions, explore her surroundings and read many books.

“Lagi nilang sinasabi no’ng bata ako na dapat daw mag-explore ako gano’n.

Dapat daw magtanong ako ng magtanong. Maging curious daw” she said. She

became very interested in reading different kinds of books as she grew up, a trait

which could have stemmed from her parents teaching her to be curious. The

remaining cases who were raised by both parents were all raised to be religious

and respectful. They would all attend church services regularly. None of the

respondents reported that they would attend church services against their will;

rather, they would go to church because their parents said that it is important to

attend church – so they had themselves believe that it really is important to attend.

One respondent, once asked whether he would go to church because he want to or

because he was ordered to, answered “Hmmm wala pa ako masyadong ano no’n,

parang isip”. The data shows that it is the parents of the respondents who would

primarily dictate whether they would believe in the existence of a god and

whether they would give importance to religion as a part of their lives. It was

found that the respondents started rationalizing that they should attend church

services because this is what has been taught to them by their parents. At a young

age, they did not have the capacity to search for an alternative to their parents’

religions so they would start sharing the faith of their parents. Other values

emphasized by the respondents’ parents were responsibility, honesty, compassion

 25

and humility. They were all raised with the same values incorporated to almost

every other people.

One case was predominantly raised by her mother because her father was

working out of town and would only go home twice in a month. She was raised

by her mother, who is a mass commentator – someone who assists the active

participation of the assembly by explaining what was happening, indicating

whether the assembly should stand, sit or kneel, reading passages from the Bible,

and so on – to be religious. Aside from religiosity, she was also raised to be

respectful to other people, especially to elders. They would go to church every

Sunday to attend the mass; however, she had narrated that once they got home

from a Sunday service, her mother would act as if she did not just come home

from church and would yell curses at them, as the respondent said “donate siya

ng donate active siya sa church pagdating sa bahay. Parang yung lahat nalang

ng mura nasabi na niya samin. Yan ba yung galing sa simbahan? ‘Diba hindi ba

dapat cleansed yung soul mo? Kasi nahimasmasan ka, kasi you have the word of

God, you have the blessings of God this day. Sana pinagpalipas na niya ng ibang

araw maiintindihan ko pa pero yung kakauwi mo lang galing simba? And then

you’re cursing people na?”, her mother would act the opposite of how a person

who just came home from church is expected to act. She would feel very

disappointed and sometimes, even annoyed by how her mother acts. This finding

about her mother is similar to Karen Horney’s concept of compartmentalization,

which states that, people would divide their lives into different compartments

wherein they would have a different set of rules for each compartment; which in
 26

this case, her mother would act very religiously while inside the church but would

act the opposite while at home.

Another case was predominantly raised by his father because his mother

was an OFW since he was in preschool. He was raised by his father to be

religious. They would go to church every Sunday together with his siblings.

However, aside from being taught to go to church every Sunday, he claims that he

felt that he did not receive enough guidance from his father as his father was a

drunkard and womanizer. “Walang guidance, mama ko nasa abroad tatay ko

nambababae nagbibisyo. So parang feeling ko ang nag ga-guide lang sa’kin, ang

makakatulong lang sa’kin is si God” he said, so instead of having a father to tell

him how to handle his problems and help him make decisions in life, his father is

always not at home, or even if he is, he would be drunk. He would feel alone and

lost because of this lack of guidance, having no one else to turn to for help aside

from his God.

Lastly, one case was raised by a non-immediate family member, his

grandmother. When he was only two years old, his mother went abroad to work,

and at six years old, his father followed. He was then taken in by his grandmother

who raised him to be religious. He also lives with his aunt who is very religious.

He described how his aunt would post posters of Bible verses inside their house.

They would also attend mass services every Sunday in a church just in front of

their house.
 27

1.2. Respondents’ Educational Background

Table 2
Educational Background of the Respondents
N = 10

A. Educational Attainment F P R
College Student 5 50% 1
College Graduate 4 40% 2
Masters Student 1 10% 3

Table 2 shows the educational background of the respondents wherein five

(5) or 50% of the respondents are College students four (4) OR 40% of the

respondents were College graduates, and one (1) OR 10% of the respondents is a

Masters student.

One respondent who is currently a college student in a public school

experienced studying in a Private – Sectarian school in elementary where she

joined a school organization and became an altar server. She recalls how, having

studied in a Catholic School, they were required to attend masses held in the

school and there were a lot of religious events done inside the school like novenas

every Wednesday, praying the rosary every start of classes, and celebrations of

feasts for different saints. She is still currently a college student after transferring

schools. Another respondent also studied in a Private – Sectarian school in

elementary. She said that religious studies were always incorporated in their

curriculum throughout elementary. They were taught stories and morals from the

Bible.

All of the respondents have attended public schools. One of them was able

to study three degrees in a public college school but was not able to finish any of
 28

them. In his first degree, he decided to take up Nursing because it was related to

science, he stopped during his third year because of financial reasons. He decided

to study again and took a degree in Financial Management but then shifted to

Communication Arts after three semesters. He was then turned off by the teaching

style of his professors and decided that it was more practical to just quit school

and enhance his skills on his own. Another respondent is still currently a college

student in a public school because he decided to stop schooling after being unable

to pass a subject in Engineering, even after taking it for three times. This made

him feel like a failure that is why he decided to stop. He now continues his

studies, taking up a degree in Management.

The data shows that all of the respondents have attended Public schools.

They all say that while in a public school, the topic of religion was not being

emphasized unlike in Private Sectarian schools – according to those who have

studied in them. These results are similar to the findings in a study conducted by

Chase (2013), where it was found that secular education makes Millennial’s

aware of an alternative viewpoint that is contradictory to that of what they learn

inside the church.

 29

1.3. Socio - Cultural Environment of the Respondents

Table 4
Socio - Cultural Environment of the Respondents
N = 10

Socio - Cultural Environment f P R

Religious 9 90% 1
Traditional 6 60% 2
Conservative 3 30% 3
Superstitious 2 20% 4
Technologically Oriented 2 10% 5
Non - Religious 1 10% 5

Table 4 shows the Cultural environment in which the respondents grew

up. Nine (9) or 90% grew up in a religious culture, six (6) or 60% grew up in a

culture that values traditions, and three (3) or 30% grew up in a conservative

culture. Also, it shows that two (2) or 20% of the respondents grew up in a

superstitious culture, two (2) or 20% of the respondents grew in a technologically

oriented culture and one (1) or 10% of the respondents grew up in a non-religious

culture.

Nine respondents in the present study described the cultural environment

in which they grew up as religious. Everyone they met while growing up belongs

to a certain religion. In the neighborhood, almost everyone would go to church

every Sunday. They have been exposed to a culture which dictates that having a

religion is essential to be a good person.

Aside from religiosity, the results also show that majority of the

respondents described their cultural environment as traditional. This pertains to

the celebration of fiestas, All Saints’ Day, Christmas, etc. These events are
 30

ingrained into the Filipino culture and are celebrated by almost every Filipino.

One respondent grew up in a home where religion was not emphasized, meaning,

they do not attend church regularly and praying is rarely observed; however, they

would still celebrate Christmas and fiestas without any religious meaning to them,

just out of tradition. This means that, they would prepare Nochebuena during

Christmas eve and would go to their relatives to have a meal during fiestas but the

religious essence as to why those events are being celebrated is not there. Another

respondent, Japanese, grew up in a culture that is not religious; however, out of

tradition, they participate in Japanese festivities such as the Bon Dance – a

festivity to honor the spirits of one’s ancestors, the Spring Festival – a festival

where people throw beans in ceremonies to drive away evil spirits every time

these are held.

Conservatism was also identified by the respondents as part of their

cultural environment. One respondent describes how the culture she grew up in

dictates that women should marry after college and are meant to have kids and

stay at home, not to have tattoos for they are filthy, and to never engage in

premarital sex. Another respondent said that the conservative culture she grew up

into was not welcoming for her as she was part of the third gender. Her

conservative culture dictates that women should act prim and proper, however, as

a lesbian, she acts like a man (by her stature, walking pace, manner of speech,

etc.) and this was not acceptable to their culture. She described how people would

judge her and not accept her for what she is. They would treat her as if being a
 31

lesbian was worse than committing a crime of murder as they would look at her

with disgust.

Two out of ten respondents answered that they were exposed to

superstitious culture. One respondent narrated that superstition is deeply engraved

into their culture that “most people follow them even if they do not actually

believe them”. These superstitions include lucky numbers, lucky colors, and

superstitions about food etiquette like how chopsticks should not be stuck upright

into food because this is a way of offering it to the dead in a funeral. Another

respondent described how he grew up being told by his grandmother to obey

superstitions such as not sleeping with his hair wet, not passing under a ladder and

more.

Finally, two respondents described their culture as technologically

oriented. They had easy access to the internet which exposed them to different

ideologies, such as naturalism – the idea that only natural laws operate in the

world, and beliefs such as nihilism – which states that life has no intrinsic

meaning or purpose.

1.4. Previous Religious Background

Table 5
Previous Religious Background of the Respondents
N = 10

A. Ministerial Training f P R
Music Ministry 3 30% 1.5
Youth Ministry 3 30% 1.5
B. Church Activities
Church Service 8 80% 1
 32

Bible Study 2 20% 2.5

Indoctrination 2 20% 2.5
Church Camp 1 10% 4.5
Catechism 1 10% 4.5

Table 5 shows the previous religious backgrounds of the respondents.

Three (3) or 30% of the respondents was part of a Music ministry, and three (3) or

30% of the respondents was part of a Youth ministry. In terms of participating in

church activities, eight (8) or 80% of the respondents attended church services

regularly, two (2) or 20 % of the respondents underwent Bible studies, two (2) or

20% of the respondents underwent indoctrination, one (1) or 10% of the

respondents participated in Church camps, and one (1) or 10% of the respondents

have experienced Catechism.

Three respondents who were part of the Music ministry were all church

choir singers, one of them was a member of the 7th Day Adventist while the other

two were Catholics. Two of them said that they enjoyed being part of the church

choir as they had time to bond with their fellow choir members. One of them said

that, at that time, being part of the choir made her feel proud of herself as she saw

it as an opportunity to serve God using the talents given to her by God.

Out of the ten respondents, three experienced being part of the youth

ministry. One respondent was a youth leader. As a youth leader, she leads her

members in organizing activities such as presentations and evangelisms. One

respondent was secretary for their youth organization in their church; she was a

previous member of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC). As a secretary, she was in charge

of keeping records used in the organization and the other respondent who was
 33

also a member of the INC experienced being the president of their youth

organization. Both previous INC members felt a great sense of pride whenever

they would fulfill their duties in church which they call as “pagtupad”. One of

them described how she then felt that as if God is very pleased with her having a

duty in church.

Out of the ten respondents, eight attended worship services/holy mass

regularly. One respondent lives just in front of a church where he would go to

together with his grandmother and aunt every Sunday. He said that as a child, he

would only go to church because his grandmother would tell him that he must go.

However, as he grew up, he began to grasp the importance of going to church and

fulfilling other religious activities as told by his grandmother.

Three respondents have experienced Bible study. One of whom was home

Bible studied by a catholic pastor as per his aunt’s request after noticing his

decline in church attendance. He began to lose interest in attending church after

developing a hobby of watching YouTube videos and reading articles about

science, for a month. Another respondent, who was a member of the Catholic

Church, assisted a pastor to conduct Bible studies in their school every Saturday

for almost half a year. Another respondent was invited to a Bible study by her

friend where she attended for 2 months.

Being a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo, two of the respondents underwent

indoctrination wherein a person would undergo a series of Bible Studies, all

dedicated to teaching the doctrines of the Church. There, they have learned about

the doctrines of the church such as: the words of God are written in the Bible,
 34

Christ is the founder of the Church of Christ in the Philippines, Bro. Felix Manalo

is god's last messenger, etc. One respondent, a member of the Catholic Church,

was invited by his Born-Again uncle to annual church camps, where members or

non-members of the church would spend 1-3 or even 5 days or more in a campsite

where a set of activities are observed such as: singing songs of praises, Bible

studies, games, and spiritual recollection. She attended these camps for three

years. Lastly, as a member of the Catholic Church, one respondent underwent

Catechism – a summary of teachings of the Catholic Church in the form of a

series of questions and answers contained in a book, as per her parent’s desire.

Here, she has learned about the doctrines of the Catholic Church like: Jesus is the

Son of God sent to die for the sins of the world, God is a triune God, consisting of

God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Ghost, in accepting Jesus and serving

Him, believers are granted life eternal, members must accept the church as having

the fullness of revelation, and according to Roman.

The aforementioned results fall under the first stage towards apostasy which is the

context. This includes the personal background of the respondents or the starting point of

apostasy. It provides context as to how the respondents got to where they are now.

2. Crises the Respondents Went Through

Table 6
Crises Underwent by the Respondents
N = 10

Crises f P R
Disappointed by the church members 3 30% 1.5
Unanswered prayers 3 30% 1.5
 35

Conflict between reason and faith 2 20% 3

Disagreement with the church doctrines 2 20% 3
Disgusted by the history of religion 1 10% 6

Table 6 presents the crises the respondents have underwent which made

them question their faith, three (3) or 30% of the respondents were disappointed

by the members of the church, three (3) or 20% of the respondents pointed out

that unanswered prayers made them question their faith, two (2) or 20% of the

respondents experienced a conflict between reason and faith, two (2) or 20% of

the respondents disagreed with the doctrines of the church, and one (1) or 10% of

the respondents was disgusted by the historical records of religion.

Out of ten respondents, three have said that they were disappointed by

their fellow church members and that made them begin to develop doubts. One of

them was turned off by, as she said “the hypocrisy of her mother” who would act

as if she was not a church servant. Her mother would yell curses at them even

after coming home from church. This made her feel confused as to how going to

church should be affecting people. As a church servant, she expects her mother to

be a model of Christian values such as gentleness and compassion, but instead,

her mother is short tempered and sharp tongued. She said, “di’ba dapat kapag

lagi kang nagsisimba ano, nagiging mabuti kang tao kasi nga siyempre di’ba na-

cle-cleanse nga yung soul mo, so bakit yung nanay ko gan’on? Kung totoong may

god dapat may magandang transformation na nangyayari sa nanay ko lalo na

nag-se-serve pa siya sa church, kaso hindi e, parang baligtad pa nga”. Being the

person who taught them about Christian values and the importance of going to

church, the respondent looks up to her mother to be the model of what she
 36

preaches and seeing her own mother’s display of hypocrisy caused her to start

questioning the authenticity of Christianity. Another respondent told about how

she would witness her church mates be in conflict with one another due to their

different interpretations of the Bible. She also spoke of how there was some sort

of politics happening within the church that people who claim to be “more

religious” would perceive themselves as elites. She narrated, “as soon as you hear

a lot of doctrines sa loob ng church mayro’ng questions na nag-a-arise within the

church and within the whole idea of religion… marami akong nakikita na pag-

aaway sa loob ng church, may politics din sa loob ng church and yung mga

understanding ng mga religious and non-religious. Yung mga religious para

silang elite, meron silang parang delusion of grandeur” she then felt confused by

the existence of these kinds of scenarios within the church as she has learned from

their preacher that the Bible teaches humility. Lastly, one respondent said that he

began developing doubts due to the attitude of his church mates who he describes

as “hypocrites who love attention, power and money too much.” He stated, “’di

ba dapat kapag Kristiyano ka mapagkumbaba ka? Kaso bakit gano’n, yung mga

miyembro ng Iglesia puro mayayabang? Lalo na yung mga may pwesto sa itaas.

Ang hilig nilang magpapansin, masyado silang gahaman sa pera at

kapangyarihan. Puro sila mga hipokrito”. He narrates of how he would go with

his father to the Central Temple, as his father has a minor position there, and there

he would see politicians going in and out of the Church especially during

campaign periods. He was puzzled as to what these politicians wanted from their

Church and why the administration would allow them there. As a teenager, having
 37

heard stories about how the Iglesia ni Cristo makes a profit from politicians

during elections, he began wondering whether these were true.

Another reason for developing doubts about the existence of God was the

inability to reconcile reason and faith. One respondent talks of how she would

read fictional books notice that these stories were similar with Biblical stories.

She describes them as illogical and impossible to happen in the natural world. The

respondent stated, “everytime na may nag-prea-preach, mayro’n silang mga

statements na Sasabihin, and if it doesn’t follow yung parang logic na alam mo

feeling mo hindi siya makatotohanan. Growing up kasi, mahilig akong magbasa

ng fiction tapos mostly kapag nag-u-usap usap tayo about sa stories sa loob ng

Bible mayro’ng mga similarities sa mga fiction, laging sinasabi ng ibang tao

paniwalaan mo nalang kahit improbable. Ginagawa ko laging thought exercise

na, what if iba palang yung nangyari? Halimbawa doon nalang sa conception ni

Jesus, what if iba pala yung nangyari doon, what if hindi naman pala ito [virgin

birth] yung dahilan?” Being inclined to logical thinking, the respondent would

become confused whenever she hears of stories from the Bible that seem to be

illogical. This made her question the validity of the Bible. Another respondent

who was fond of reading science articles on the internet also found it impossible

to reconcile scientific knowledge with the existence of a god. For instance, if god

made humans distinct from any other animal on the planet, why is it that the

human DNA is 96% similar to that of a chimpanzee? This kind of discoveries

made him develop doubts whether god is real. These findings are similar to that of
 38

Chase (2013) who found out that religious doubts strengthen as Millennials lean

more about science.

Another reason for having doubts is being displeased by the church

doctrine. One respondent narrated how she started developing doubts because of

how her previous church kept claiming that they are the only church that will be

saved. Their church teaches that, only the members of their church would be

granted eternal life, and no other church can provide this. She stated, “kung sa

Iglesia lang may kaligtasan, pa’no naman yung ibang tao? Lalo na yung mga

bata na walang access sa mga turo ng Iglesia? Pinanganak silang gano’n tapos

dahil pinanganak sila na hindi maaabot ng mga turo ng Iglesia e mapupunta na

sila sa impiyerno? Tapos pa’no naman yung mga taong nasa ibang religion?

Naalala ko no’n may kaklase ako na Born Again, sobrang bait niya. Lagi pa

siyang nagababsa ng Bible, kung totoo yung tinuturo ng Iglesia, edi mapupunta

din siya sa impiyerno kahit gaano siya kabait? Di’ba parang kalokohan naman

‘yon?”. Another respondent speaks of how he was dissatisfied by the church’s

doctrines because it would seem that they only choose to follow certain parts of

the Bible and ignore the others like the topic of incest – why was it practiced

during the time of Adam but was suddenly stopped? He narrated “dumating yung

time din na… tawag dito… binasa ko yung buong Bible, then the Bible itself

contradicts each other – each other yung books. Yung Bible is compilation of

books from the word itself Bible and then yung religious Bible which is yung

ginagamit nung mga religions then yun nga nag-co-contradict yung per book.

Bakit ito… uhm… for example old testament, may mga bagay sa old testament na
 39

sinusunod pa din until today, bakit mayro’n din naman sa New Testament na

hindi naman na sinusunod today? Parang vinavalue ng mga tao gano’n, hindi

naman sa sinusunod pero vinavalue ng mga tao today, until today gano’n, just

like… uhm… umpisa palang sa umpisa just like yung sa, diko alam kung Genesis

yun pero… uhm… yung kina Adam and Eve for example… uhm… sa mga anak

nila, diba sila sila lang din so that is incest di’ba? Bakit today ‘di na na-a-apply

yung incest? Something like that”. He felt confused as to why there are parts of

the Bible that contradict each other and why are there parts of the Bible that

people choose to ignore. This made him develop doubts regarding the authenticity

of the Bible’s texts.

Among the ten respondents, three have reported to have started developing

doubts due to unanswered prayers. One respondent narrated “sa nagiging

problema ko sa bahay, sa family, sa buhay na si God nilalapitan ko, hindi ko

nakikita na meron nangyayare” he felt that his prayers were not being answered

and with that he said “alam mo yun nagkakaroon ng conflict, para bang sa

relationship na na-amaze ka isang tao pero sa kabilang banda yung mismong

partner mo e nagkukulang sa’yo medyo maaano ka e, maalis sa part na yun,

mapupunta ka sa bagay na minamahal mo. E lalo na sa buhay natin science and

religion ang talagang… nag-aaway, so nakuha ako ng science” growing up as a

person who loves, the lack of answer to his prayers made him feel disappointed

and led him to develop doubts about God’s existence and start to be more

engrossed in science. Another respondent who failed a subject in engineering

three times have tried praying to God for him to be able to pass that subject but he
 40

still wasn’t able to pass it. He felt hopeless when his prayer was left unfulfilled.

This made them question whether there is really a god listening to their prayers.

These findings are similar to the findings of Chase (2013), where the date shows

that some Millennial begin to develop doubts about the existence of God due to

their prayers being unanswered.

Another reason given by a respondent for starting to develop doubts was

that of how she was disgusted by the history of Christianity. She has read about

the Inquisitions, Witch Trials, and The Crusades and realized how much blood

was shed for the name of Christianity. This made her develop doubts about the

authenticity of Biblical doctrines as these behaviors were extremely differing

from what she has learned about what Christianity is – a religion of love and

peace. This made her ask ‘What was God doing? Maybe he doesn’t exist at all’

The results stated above fall under the second stage of apostasy which is the crises,

this includes the factors that have caused the respondents to start doubting their faith.

3. Actions the Respondents Did to Find Answers to their Religious Questions

This section presents the actions the respondents took to find answers to

their religious questions.

Table 7
Actions to Find Answers to Religious Questions
N = 10

Actions f P R
Spending hours reading books and articles 8 80% 1
written by scientists and apostates.
 41

Discussions with other people they deem to 3 30% 2

be knowledgeable regarding the topics
about religion.
Consulting with church leaders regarding 1 10% 3
their religious questions.

Table 7 presents the actions which the respondents did to find answers to

their religious questions such as “if god exists, why are there a lot of people who

do not believe?”, “why do good things happen to bad people and why do bad

things happen to good people?”, “why are scientific findings incongruent with

Biblical knowledge?”, eight (8) or 80% of the respondents answered that they

spent hours reading books and articles written by scientists and apostates on the

internet and in print, three (3) or 30% of the respondents discussed with people

they deem to know about religion regarding their questions. One (1) or 10% of the

respondents consulted with church leaders regarding her religious questions.

Among the ten respondents, eight said that to look for answers to their

questions, they began reading and science articles from the internet and books that

were written by scientists like Carl Sagan who wrote Cosmos, Stephen Hawking

who wrote The Brief History of Time, Richard Dawkins who wrote The God

Delusion, Sam Harris who wrote The End of Faith, etc. One respondent narrated

“Noong nagkaroon ako ng maraming questions, doon na ako naghanap ng

answers through books and internet. Books tulad ng The God Delusion and yung

Cosmos. Wala naman silang pino-post doon e. Pero highly critical thinking sila.

‘Di naman siya actually answers, pero supplemental sila doon sa isang side ng

content ng dati hindi ko pinaniniwalaan” From these readings, they have learned
 42

more about the theories and knowledge discovered and developed though science.

They have begun to understand what a theory really is – which is the explanation

of natural events that can be tested repeatedly in accordance to the scientific

method, and was then introduced to the theory of Biological Evolution – which is

the change of characteristics within a species over successive generations caused

by random genetic mutations, and The Big Bang Theory – which states that the

universe came from a very small, very dense and very hot state called a

singularity and later expanded (and is still expanding until now); and, by the

means of natural laws, galaxies, stars and planets were formed. With these new

knowledge, the respondents have experienced cognitive dissonance – a mental

discomfort experienced by a person who is exposed to an idea that is

contradictory to his/her held beliefs. With this, they continued to read more books

to find more answers and to reduce the discomfort they were feeling. After having

spent more hours of reading these kinds of books there are respondents who

realized that it was impossible to reconcile Biblical teachings with scientific

knowledge. As for example, the Bible teaches that God created the Universe with

a preconceived design right from the start, however the Big Bang Theory suggests

that the Universe began with no design at all but rather began with total chaos.

There are also respondents who would discuss with other people regarding

their questions. These people were not necessarily religious academics nor

apostates, but people around them who they deem to know about religion. One

respondent would ask his religious aunt questions about the Bible; however, he

would not be satisfied with his aunt’s questions because they do not answer his
 43

questions but rather beat around the bush. Another respondent discussed his

questions like, “why God allows evil to exist?” with people he went with in Bible

studies, but these people would tell him to “just have faith”. Lastly, one

respondent discussed her questions with her church mates and some church

elders, but these people met her with rejection and told her to stop asking and just

believe.

Among the ten respondents, only one was able to ask a religious leader.

She encountered a pastor whom she asked regarding her questions like, “why a lot

of stories in the Bible are illogical?” like frogs falling from the sky and the Earth

stopping from rotating. However instead of getting answers, she experienced

rejection this pastor and was told to beware of logic because “logic is dangerous”.

She was stunned by this statement because she was a person who values logic and

critical thinking.

These results are similar to the results of a study conducted by Keller

(2013) and a study by Chase (2013) where both studies show that doubters who

ask religious leaders did not get satisfactory answers.

The above-mentioned results fall under the third stage towards apostasy which are the

actions, this show the different ways the respondents did to find answers to their religious

questions.

4. Respondents’ Encounters Toward Introduction Apostasy

Table 8
Encounters toward Introduction to Apostasy
N = 10
 44

Encounters f P R
Internet 4 40% 1
Met an apostate in person 3 30% 2
Peers 1 10% 4.5
People around them 1 10% 4.5
Movies and TV Series 1 10% 4.5

Table 8 shows the encounters the respondents had which introduced them

to the concept of apostasy, four (4) or 40% of the respondents encountered the

concept of apostasy while browsing on the internet, three (3) or 30% of the

respondents met an apostate in person who then introduced them to the concept of

apostasy, one (1) or 10% of the respondents encountered the term it from her

peers, one (1) or 10% of the respondents encountered it from the people around

him/her who would ask about his/her religion and when he/she answers ‘none’,

people would say that he/she is an apostate. Lastly, one (1) or 10% of the

respondents encountered apostasy from films and TV series that include a

character who is an apostate.

Respondents who have encountered the concept of apostasy through the

internet narrated that they have encountered it while reading articles on the

internet. One respondent was reading an article about the biography of Richard

Dawkins, it was mentioned there that he was an ‘atheist’. The respondent than

looked up what atheist meant and that was when he was introduced to the concept

of apostasy. All the other respondents have the same story about how they

encountered apostasy on the internet. They were reading articles about science,

history and religion and suddenly, the term atheism or apostasy was mentioned.
 45

They then looked up what it meant and that was how they learned about the

concept of apostasy.

Among the ten respondents, three of them met an apostate in person who

then introduced them to the concept of apostasy. One respondent began

interacting with her past church mate who has now become an apostate; they

started interacting and discussing their ideas about religion, she was then

introduced to the concept of apostasy by this acquaintance. Another respondent

had a relationship with an apostate and her partner introduced her to the concept

of apostasy. Lastly, one respondent who would watch public debates held in a

park near their area between religions met an apostate there. During their meeting,

they began exchanging ideas; with this exchange, he discovered for the first time,

that there are people who do not believe in the existence of a god, this was how he

was introduced to the concept of apostasy.

One respondent was introduced to the concept of apostasy by her peers.

Her friends were not religious and some were apostates. They were having a

discussion about Friedrich Nietzsche for their philosophy subject when the topic

of apostasy was brought up. Nietzsche was an apostate and is well known for his

statement “God is dead, and we have killed him”. Another respondent was

introduced to the concept of apostasy by the people around him in school. People

would ask him what his religion is and he would answer “none”, they would then

label him as an atheist, although he was not yet an apostate at that time, and he

would ask what it meant. These people explained what it meant, telling him that it

was what people who do not believe in the existence of god is called; with that, he
 46

began to read further about it on the internet – this was how he was introduced to

the concept of apostasy. One respondent was introduced to the concept of

apostasy from the movies and series he would watch that includes a character who

is an apostate such as The True Detective, The Big Bang Theory, etc.

The aforementioned results fall under the fourth stage towards apostasy which is the

encounters, this shows the ways as to how the respondents encountered apostasy.
 47

5. Respondents’ Extension of Engagement in Apostasy

Table 9
Extension of Engagement in Apostasy
N = 10

Extension of Engagement in F P R
Apostasy
Encountering and joining 7 70% 1
online groups for apostates
Reading articles about 2 20% 2
apostasy.
Having met and interacted with 1 10% 3
apostates in person.

Table 9 shows the interactions the respondents had which extended their

engagements with apostasy, seven (7) or 70% of the respondents encountered and

joined different online groups for apostates, two (2) or 20% of the respondents got

into reading more about apostasy and one (1) or 10% of the respondents met

apostates in person.

Out of the ten respondents, seven of them joined online groups which

extended their engagement with apostasy. One respondent found the group after

seeing it mentioned by an online page, he was browsing through the Facebook

page of Atheist Republic when he saw the page mentioned that they had

Facebook groups for different countries, he then searched for an Atheist Republic

group in the Philippines and saw that there was one named “Atheist Republic

Metro Manila Consulate”, he joined this group and found out that there were a lot

of Filipinos who were apostates. Upon joining these groups, the respondents

started interacting with the members of the group – through commenting and

replying to comments on different posts in the group about science, mockery of

 48

different religions, etc. – and with these interactions, they were exposed more to

apostasy.

Two of the respondents were exposed more to apostasy due to extensive

reading. After encountering the concept of apostasy, they started reading more

books written by apostates like Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, etc. and books that

talk about apostasy like The Portable Atheist and God is Not Great.

Lastly, one respondent met an apostate in person which led to the

extension of her engagement with apostasy. She had a boyfriend who was then an

apostate who had her become more exposed to apostasy. They would exchange

ideas regarding their views about religion. Her ex-boyfriend would tell her why

he does not believe in the existence of a god. With these discussions, she learned

more about what it means to not believe in the existence of a god.

The findings stated above fall under the fifth stage of apostasy which is the

interactions, this include the different interactions the respondents had that have extended

their engagement with apostasy.

6. Respondents’ Signs of Commitment to Being an Apostate

Table 10
Respondents’ Signs of Commitment to Being an Apostate
N = 10

Signs of Commitment to Being an Apostate f P R

Stopped Praying 8 80% 1
Stopped Attending Church 4 40% 2
Disposed of religious items 3 30% 3
Advertisement of new beliefs 2 20% 4
Declaration of new identity 1 10% 5
 49

Table 10 shows that eight (8) or 80% of the respondents stopped praying,

four (4) or 40% of the respondents stopped attending church, three (3) or 30% of

the respondents disposed their religious items, two (2) or 20% of the respondents

started advertising new beliefs, one (1) or 10% of the respondent declared her new

identity.

Among the ten respondents, eight of them stopped praying upon

identifying themselves as apostates. Since they have stopped believing in the

existence of God, there was no need for them to continue praying. One respondent

has stopped praying for as early as his doubting stage.

Four of the respondents stopped attending church after identifying

themselves as apostates. The remaining respondents have stopped attending

church while they were still in the doubting stage. The respondent found it

unnecessary to attend church services as they do not believe in the teachings of

the church to be true.

There were three respondents who disposed of their religious items upon

identifying themselves as apostates. One respondent who was a Catolic casually

threw her rosary in the trash can inside her bedroom, she said that it had no

meaning to her anymore and thus is unnecessary to keep it. Another respondent

who was a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo collected all his “Pasugo” magazines

into a trash bag and got rid of it. He said that they were not needed anymore and

are now considered as ‘trash’.

Two respondents began posting on their social media accounts about their

new-found knowledge. They would share posts by pages about science and
 50

statements that are against religion. They felt good being able to express

themselves in social media and not having to hide their new identity. One

respondent said that she was not necessarily ‘preaching’ as there was nothing to

preach since apostasy in not a religion and therefore does not have a set of beliefs,

instead, she felt it necessary for people to be aware of different scientific facts and

theories especially since, in the Philippines – being a religious country – scientific

knowledge is greatly misunderstood and sometimes, even rejected by people.

Lastly, one respondent declared her new identity as an apostate. She

changed her religious view on her social media account from Iglesia ni Cristo to

‘none’.

The foregoing results fall under the sixth stage towards apostasy which is the

identification, this includes the behavioral acts the respondents did upon identifying

themselves as apostates, acts that prove that they are now apostates.

7. Changes Observed by the Respondents Subsequent to their Identification as

Apostates
Table 11
Changes Observed by the Respondents
N = 10

Observed Changes f P R
Became more open to ideas. 4 40% 1
Had more sense of freedom. 3 30% 2
Less anxious. 1 10% 5
Became less optimistic. 1 10% 5
Felt uncomfortable being surrounded by believers. 1 10% 5
Stopped being judgmental to the LGBT community. 1 10% 5
Became more pragmatic 1 10% 5
 51

Table 11 shows the changes observed by the respondents resulting from

their identification as apostates, four (4) or 40% of the respondents became more

open to ideas, three (3) or 30% of the respondents had more sense of freedom, one

(1) or 10% of the respondents became less anxious, one (1) or 10% of the

respondent became less optimistic, one (1) or 10% of the respondents felt

uncomfortable being surrounded by theists, one (1) or 10% of the respondents

stopped being judgmental to the LGBT community and one (1) or 10% of the

respondents became more pragmatic.

Among the ten respondents, four have become more open to new ideas

upon becoming an apostate. One respondent describes that upon becoming an

apostate, he became more open minded to different ideas as opposed to when he

was still a believer wherein he would automatically reject ideas opposing his

religious beliefs, like doctrines form other religions and scientific knowledge.

Now, he would willingly listen to different ideas without automatically rejecting

them because he now understands, more than ever, that there are many possible

explanations or a certain idea of phenomena, however, he still makes it a point to

be critical as not every idea is necessarily true. Another respondent describes how

she have become more open minded in a way that she would now try to

understand the different sides of a story before making any form of judgment

unlike when she was still religious that she would automatically judge a person or

situation as wrong because the Bible says so.

The study also found that there were respondents who felt a more sense of

freedom upon becoming an apostate. One respondent describes how he felt more
 52

freedom upon becoming an apostate compared to when he was still a believer that

his church mates would cage him to the idea that “this is your church, this is your

god” therefore, he must follow whatever the church or whatever God says.

Another respondent described how being an apostate ‘freed him from the binding

chains of religion’. Lastly, one respondent described how being an apostate gave

him more sense of freedom as compared to when he was still religious that he felt

that he was being dictated by the church administration.

There was one respondent who described how being an apostate made him

felt less anxious compared to when he was still a believer because he was now

free from worrying whether he was good enough to go to heaven or whether he

was too sinful that he would receive eternal punishment.

Another respondent started to feel less optimistic upon becoming an

apostate because he now has no God to pray to for comfort or help, compared to

when he was still a believer that whenever he had problems, he would just pray

and believe that everything will be alright. Now, he only has himself to rely on to

fix the problems he encounter.

One respondent described how becoming an apostate started to make her

feel uncomfortable being surrounded by believers, it made her feel like ‘Neo from

the Matrix that everyone else is still in a simulation’ meaning, she sees herself as

the only one who knows the truth while other people (believers) are still stuck

believing in lies. And she is the only one who is awake. Another reason for her

becoming uncomfortable around believers was that she became more aware of the
 53

hypocrisy committed by believers and by how they can settle with being religious

through words only but not by deeds.

There is a respondent who answered that upon becoming an apostate, she

stopped being judgmental to the LGBT community as compared to when she was

still a believer because of what she learned from church – that the God condemns

homosexuality. She now accepts homosexuals for who they are.

Lastly, one respondent said that upon being an apostate, he became more

pragmatic because in the absence of a god to pray to for help, all that remains is

himself to solve his problems. So, he became more industrious and responsible

because all he had to count on was himself to achieve his goals.

The aforementioned results fall under the seventh stage towards apostasy which is the

changes, this include the internal changes the respondents have observed among

themselves upon their identification as apostates.

Implication of the Study

Apostates are one of the most stigmatized people in our society. They are often

rejected by people who do not understand them. Because of the perpetuating sigma, a lot

of these apostates feel isolated or even unwanted by society. Thus, the researchers found

it valuable to understand these people, and the best way which the respondents thought of

to understand them is by identifying and comprehending the stages these individuals went

through towards becoming an apostate. For this reason, conducting the study yielded data

from which the following implications were drawn.

 54

Based from the findings of the study, apostates can come from diverse

backgrounds. Majority of them however comes from religious setting. They were born in

religious families and cultures and were raised to be religious. However, there is still a

minority who were raised in a non-religious background. This implies that even though a

person was raised to be religious, that person can still become an apostate. Meaning,

growing up with a religious background does not guarantee a person to not become an

apostate.

The findings of the study also show diversity in the challenges experienced by the

apostates that made them question their faith. It shows that from simple dissatisfactions

within the church (among church mates and the church doctrines), or a thirst for answers

to religious questions left unsatisfied to school issues experienced by people can lead

them to question their faith. However, the leading causes of why people start to question

their faith are the issues within the church itself and the inability to unite scientific

knowledge and religious dogma. This suggests that that religion in itself is a potential

agency for its members to develop doubts. This is because their members who do not

practice what they preach, and doctrines that discriminates non-believers can lead to

members questioning the authenticity of their doctrines.

Moreover, in this age of information, people are becoming more and more aware

of the scientific discoveries being made, and with this knowledge, people start to question

religious teachings as it contradicts scientific facts.

From the interviews with the respondents, it was found that to answer their

questions about religion, most of the respondents engaged in reading – this may include

books and/or articles on the internet – while only a small amount went to their church
 55

leaders to ask for answers. This result is similar to a study conducted by Barna Group

(2017) where it was found that only a small percentage of people going through spiritual

crisis would turn to their pastors for help which may reflect the awkwardness of

confiding in these individuals and institution that represent one’s questions, as well as the

challenges that ministry leaders face to create safe spaces for doubt. With this, it is

implied that people experiencing religious doubts are more likely to turn to the internet to

look for answers possibly because of its ease of access. Furthermore, in our age today, the

internet is the easiest way to read books and articles without having to travel to a library.

There are also a lot of informative videos that makes topics easier to understand. Other

than that, it is also possible that doubters choose to access the internet rather than to ask

religious leaders or ‘religiously knowledgeable’ people regarding their questions because

they are afraid that religious people would judge them based on their questions and reject

them, as some of the respondents in this study had experienced. This likewise suggests

that the internet, which exposes individuals to a wide array of topics, have become more

accessible to people than the Church.

This study found that most of the apostates encountered the concept of apostasy

through the internet. There are respondents who have come across the concept of

apostasy while searching for answers for their religious questions. Some individuals, on

the other hand, encountered other apostates personally which introduced them to the

concept of apostasy, similar to the results of a study conducted by Wright et al. (2011) it

was found that interactions with non-Christians provide support and information during

the deconversion process. It can be concluded that there is a possibility for an increase in
 56

the possibility for doubters to become apostates once they have been introduced to the

concept of apostasy,

Upon encountering the concept of apostasy, the apostates got involved in

interactions which extended their engagement with the concept of apostasy. In this study,

it was found that these interactions mostly happened in online groups. This leads us to the

realization that the internet is the biggest contributor for the apostates to encounter people

of similar interests, thinking or people who are undergoing spiritual crisis like them. It is

likewise possible that meeting apostates can have an influence on doubters for them to

become apostates themselves as they are more exposed to information that might be

contradicting to religious teachings.

Upon having oneself identified to a new identity, a person will show certain signs

of commitment to a new set of beliefs, similarly upon identifying oneself as an apostate,

that individual may show signs of commitment to the new-found identity. In this study, it

was found that most of the respondents stopped praying as a sign that they have already

identified themselves as apostates. Similarly, in a study conducted by Barna Group

(2017) by which it was found that 3 out of 10 adults stopped praying. Aside from this,

there are also those who answered that there was no sign of commitment to their new

identity for the following reasons: a. they have already stopped praying or attending

church as early as their crisis stage, and b. they are afraid that people would discriminate

them if they are to be found out as apostates once they show signs of commitment. Thus,

we can infer that, even though an individual has already committed to the new identity of

being an apostate there is still a difference as to whether a sign of commitment to the new
 57

identity will manifest or not. Ergo, absence of a tangible sign of commitment does not

imply non-identification as an apostate.

Finally, upon having a new identity, in can be predicted that certain changes will

occur to that individual. In this study, a wide variety of changes has been found among

the respondents, each uniquely categorizable from one another. It was found that most of

the respondents answered that upon identifying themselves as apostates, they have been

more open to ideas and beliefs which they were not when they were still believers. It can

be implied that being an apostate can make a person become more open minded to

different ideas because their idea of truth is not anymore limited only to the teachings of

the church. Other than that, being an apostate provided the respondents more sense of

freedom as compared to when they were still believers that they felt dictated or caged by

the church. This leads us to the realization that being an apostate can make a person feel a

more sense of freedom because it is likewise possible that being part of a religion can

arouse a feeling of being dictated.

In the light of the aforementioned results, it can be implied that the journey

towards becoming an apostate involves a lot of different interconnecting factors. There is

no clear aspect that can predict whether a person can become an apostate or not. There is,

however, a recognizable pattern or stages that lead to apostasy. It can be seen that in the

duration of this journey, at some point, these people may require assistance – emotional,

intellectual or even spiritual. The results of this study can aid people to understand these

individuals and thus be able to provide the necessary support that they might need and

most importantly to help dissipate the perpetuating stigma about these individuals.
 58

Chapter 5

Summary of Findings, Conclusions, and Recommendations

This chapter presents the findings, conclusions, and recommendations identified

in the study.

Summary of Findings

The following findings have been found based from the data gathered in the

study.

1. Respondents’ Personal Backgrounds

Presented hereunder are the distributions of percentage of the apostates’

personal backgrounds as to:

1.1. 70% of the respondents were raised by both parents; on the other hand 10%

of the respondents were predominantly raised by mother; while 10% of the

respondents were predominantly raised by father and lastly 10% of the

respondents were raised by a non-immediate family member which in this

case was his grandmother.

1.2. 50% of the respondents are College students; while 40% of the respondents

were College graduates and lastly 10% of the respondents are a Masters

student. Also 100% of the cases have attended Public schools and 20% of the

respondents have attended Private – Sectarian School.

1.3. 90% of the respondents grew up in a religious culture; on the other hand, 60%

of the respondents grew up in a culture that values traditions.

 59

1.4. 30% of the respondents were part of a Music ministry and 30% of the

respondents were a part of a Youth ministry. Also 80% of the respondents

attended church services regularly; while 20% of the respondents underwent

Bible studies; on the other hand, 20% of the respondents underwent

indoctrination.

2. Crises the Respondents Went Through

2.1. 30% of the respondents were turned off by the church members; while 30%

of the respondents experienced unanswered prayers on the other hand 20% of

the respondents encounter conflict between religion and faith. 20% of the

respondents were Displeased by the Church doctrine moreover 10% of the

respondents was Disappointed by the history of religion and lastly 10% were

Influence of their culture that they grew.

3. Actions the Respondents Did to Find Answers to their Religious Questions

3.1. 80% of the respondents answered that they read different books and articles

in the internet; while 30% of the respondents discussed with people they deem

to know about religion regarding their questions; and 10% of the respondents

consulted with church leaders and lastly 10%.

4. Respondents’ Encounters

4.1. 40% of the respondents encountered the concept of apostasy while browsing

on the internet; while 30% of the respondents met an apostate in person who

then introduced them to the concept of apostasy; furthermore 10% of the

respondents encountered the term from her peers; also 10% of the respondents
 60

encountered apostasy from films and TV series that include a character who is

an apostate and lastly 10% of the respondents encountered it from the books

he/she is reading.

5. Respondents’ Extension of Engagement in Apostasy

5.1. 70% of the respondents encountered and joined different online groups for

apostates; while 20% of the respondents got into reading more about apostasy

and lastly 10% of the respondents met apostates in person.

6. Respondents’ Signs of Commitment

6.1. 80% of the respondents stopped praying; while 40% of the respondents

stopped attending church; also, 30% of the respondents disposed their religious

items.

7. Changes Observed by the Respondents Subsequent to their Identification as

Apostates

7.1. 40% of the respondents became more open to ideas; while 30% of the

respondents had more sense of freedom; furthermore 10% of the respondents

became less anxious; also 10% of the respondents felt uncomfortable being

surrounded by theists; moreover 10% of the respondents stopped being

judgmental to the LGBT community and lastly 10% of the respondents

became more pragmatic.

 61

Conclusions

The following conclusions were derived based on the findings of the study.

1. Majority of the respondents were raised by both parents.

2. Majority of the respondents are college students.

3. Majority of the respondents grew up in a religious cultural environment.

4. Majority of the respondents were regular church attendees.

5. Ranking first for the crises experienced by the respondents is being turned off by

the church members. Ranking second is having their prayers unanswered.

6. Ranking first for the actions which the respondents did to find answers for their

religious questions is spending hours reading books and articles written by

scientists and apostates. Ranking second is discussions with other people they

deem to be knowledgeable about religion regarding topics about religion; lastly,

ranking third is consulting with church leaders regarding their religious questions.

7. Ranking first, respondents encountered the concept of apostasy through browsing

on the internet, ranking second respondents encountered apostasy by meeting an

apostate in person.

8. Ranking first, respondents had their engagement with apostasy extended by

joining online groups for apostates, ranking second, respondents got into reading

more about apostasy, and ranking third respondents encountered apostates in real

life.

9. Majority of the respondents’ sign of commitment of being an apostate is that they

stopped praying.
 62

10. Ranking first, respondents reported that they became more open to different ideas

after becoming an apostate, ranking second, respondents felt more sense of

freedom upon being an apostate.

Recommendations

1. The Church can use the findings of the study to better understand that people who

undergo religious crisis should be entertained regarding their religious questions.

According to the results of this study, apostates were somehow rejected by

religious leaders when then were asking questions. Also, the church is

recommended to pay more attention to the conflicts happening within the church

that could lead to a loss of church membership or more serious conflicts.

2. Family units are recommended to be educated regarding apostasy to avoid an

attitude of rejection towards a family member who might become an apostate

someday. Also, the family unit, especially the parents should be more aware as to

whether they practice the values that they preach, because this could lead to their

children questioning their teachings.

3. The school is recommended to raise awareness regarding apostates. The cure to a

perpetuating stigma is awareness, and the best way to raise awareness is through

the school. Also, with awareness possible bullying cases can be prevented.

4. Guidance counselors and psychologists are recommended to develop therapies for

people undergoing religious crises, as to some people undergoing religious crises

can experience confusion. These people might need someone to guide them in a

way that does not include biblical teachings. These therapies can also be
 63

applicable to people who are already apostates, having no God to pray to for

comfort might need a counselor to help them face their problems outside the

context of religious involvements.

5. Future researchers are recommended to widen their scope of respondents. They

could develop cross cultural, longitudinal regarding apostasy or compare the

stages of apostasy among different generations.

 64

References:

Barna Group (2017). Two-thirds of Christians face doubt. Retrieved from

https://www.barna.com/research/two-thirds-christians-face-doubt/

Bullard, G. (2016). The World’s Newest Major Religion: No Religion. Retrieved from

relay.nationalgeographic.com/proxy/distribution/public/amp/2016/04/160422-atheism-

agnostic-secular-nones-rising-religion

Chase, J. (2013). Why they stopped attending church: an exploratory study of religious

participation decline among millennials from conservative Christian backgrounds.

Electronic Theses and Dissertations. Paper 2615.

Harris C. L. (2012). Understanding atheism/non-belief as an expected individual-

differences variable, Religion, Brain & Behavior, 2:1, 4-23, DOI:

10.1080/2153599X.2012.668395

Hunter, L.A. (2010). Explaining atheism: Testing the secondary compensator model and

proposing an alternative. Interdisciplinary Journal of Research on Religion, 6, 1-7.

Madge, N. & Hemming, P. J. (2017) Young British religious ‘nones’: findings from the

youth on religion study, Journal of Youth Studies, 20:7, 872-888, DOI:

10.1080/13676261.2016.1273518
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Siner S. (2011) A theory of atheist student identity development. Journal of the Indiana

University Student Personnel Association, 14-21.

Winston, K. (2012). Poll Shows Atheism on the Rise in the US. Retrieved from

www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-faith/poll-shows-atheism-on-the-rise-in-the-

us/2012/08/13/90080fd6-e57d-11e1-9739-

eef99c5fb285_story.html?utm_term=.6b273de28d29

Wright B. (2011). Explaining deconversion from Christianity: a study of online

narratives. Journal of Religion &Society 19: 1-17.

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APPENDICES
 67

APPENDIX A

NON-RELIGIOUS – NON-SPIRITUAL SCALE (NRNSS)

68
69
70
71
72
73
74
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APPENDIX B

Interview Guide

1. a. What values were incorporated to you by your parents while raising you?

b. 1. What is the highest educational level that you have attained?

b. 2. How well did you do in school?

b. 3. What educational achievements did you achieve?

b. 4. What else can you say about your education?

b. 5. What was your most memorable experience when you were still studying?

d. What does the culture you grew up into say about how you should live?

e. 1. What religion were you raised into?

e. 2. What religious training have you gone into in the past?

e. 3. Tell us something about your previous religious experiences.

2. What did you experience that made you question your faith?

3. What did you do to find answers for your religious questions?

4. How did you know about concept of not believing in the existence of any god?

5. How did you become more exposed to the concept of not believing in the

existence of any god?

6. After identifying yourself as an apostate, what did you do?

7. What changes occurred to you after considering yourself an apostate?

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APPENDIX C

INFORMED CONSENT

Researchers:

We are Ezekiel A. Mesina, Jerwin Y. Cayabyab and Renard R. De Vera, an

undergraduate student at Tarlac State University. We are inviting you to participate in a
research study. Involvement in the study is voluntary, so you may choose to participate
or not. I am now going to explain the study to you. Please feel free to ask any questions
that you may have about the research; We will be happy to explain anything in greater
detail.

We are interested in learning more about An Exploratory Study: Journey to Apostasy.

You will be asked to answer a Non-Religious-Non-Spiritual Scale and an unstructured
interview will be conducted. This will take approximately 30 min. of your time. All
information will be kept anonymous and confidential. Anonymous, this means that your
name will not appear anywhere and no one except me will know about your specific
answers. Confidential, We will assign a number to your responses, and only We will
have the key to indicate which number belongs to which participant. In any articles we
write or any presentations that we make, we will use a made-up name for you, and we
will not reveal details or we will change details about where you work, where you live,
any personal information about you, and so forth.

“The benefit of this research is that you will be helping us to understand An Exploratory
Study: Journey to Apostasy. This information should help us to understand people that
do not believe to any Gods. There are no risks to you for participating in this study. If
you do not wish to continue, you have the right to withdraw from the study, without
penalty, at any time.”
 77

Participant - “All of my questions and concerns about this study have been addressed. I
choose, voluntarily, to participate in this research project. I certify that I am at least 25
years of age.

Print name of Participant

Signature of Participant Date

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APPENDIX D

Stages of Apostasy

Background Crisis Seeking

• Upbringing • Lack of Divine • Reading volumes of
• Cultural Experience scientific and/or
Environment • Conflict between religious literature
• Educational reason and faith • Discussions with
Background • Congregational religious people
• Religious Dissatisfaction
Background

Extension of Engagement Introduction to Apostasy

• Interactions • Internet
• Online • People
• Personal • Media
• Reading

Commitment Changes
• Discontinue of religious practices • Being more opendminded
• Disposal of religious items • Having more sense of freedom
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STORIES
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APPENDIX E

Case A

Genesis’ Stages of Apostasy

Male, 25 years old and an apostate for 3 years. He was a “handog” to the Iglesia

ni Cristo. He was predominantly raised by his grandmother. His mother started working

abroad when he was only 2 years old. He would regularly attend church services with his

father. At 6 years old, his father followed his mother abroad to work too. He was then

taken in by his grandmother. He started to regularly attend a Catholic Church, with his

grandmother and aunt, just in front of their house. He was raised to be religious and

respectful by his grandmother. He talks about how the house would be filled with posters

of Bible verses posted by his aunt. He grew up in a culture that emphasizes religiosity,

tradition and is superstitious.

He studied in public schools from elementary till college (at present). He was an

honor student in elementary and belonged to the special section in high school. People

around him would describe as a very smart person. Despite being an honor student, his

grandmother makes sure that he still attends church regularly. As he started high school,

he became curious about science so he started reading books and internet articles about

science. With his readings, he began to develop doubts about the existence of God. This

is when he started to lose interest in attending church and stopped praying. He would ask

his aunt questions about the existence of God, but he was told to “just believe”. His aunt

noticed his decline in church attendance and thus arranged for a Bible study to be

conducted in their house during Saturdays, this lasted for a month. However, being more
 81

inclined to scientific thinking, he was not convinced by this Bible studies. In fact, he

stopped believing in the existence of a god completely. When people would ask him what

his religion is, he would say “none”, people would then call him an “atheist”. These

people then explained that it was what a person who does not believe in the existence of

God was called. Due to his curiosity, he read more about apostasy on the internet; this

was how he was introduced to apostasy. While reading about apostasy, he learned from

one website he was reading that there was an online group for apostates which he joined.

With this, he interacted with the members of the group through the making comments on

different posts and discussing ideas among themselves, with this, he got engaged more to

the concept of apostasy. He also met some apostates from the group in person and got

acquainted with them. As time passed, he soon identified himself as an apostate, there

was no behavioral commitment as he had already stopped attending church and stopped

praying while still in the doubting stage.

He noticed some changes in him after becoming an apostate. He became less

anxious in a way that, he didn’t have to worry anymore as to whether he would go to an

eternal paradise or a place of eternal suffering upon his death. He also speaks of how he

became more open minded to different ideas as opposed to when he was still a believer

that he would automatically reject ideas against his held faith. However, he also spoke of

how he became less optimistic as he had no more god to pray to for comfort and/or help

whenever he had problems.

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Case B

Exodus’ Stages of Apostasy

Male, 27 years old and an apostate of 6 years. He was born in a Catholic family.

His mother is an OFW and he was predominantly raised by his father. He was raised to

be God-fearing and to honor God in whatever it is that he does. He studied in public

schools from elementary to college. He was at the top of his class during grade school

and an honor student during elementary school. He attends church regularly with his

family during those times. He grew up in a culture that emphasizes religiosity, and

tradition. He describes his father as a drunkard and a womanizer. Despite being raised by

his father, he speaks of how he grew up without enough guidance and that he only

depends on God for guidance. He always prays to God to ask for help. As a child, he

dreamt to become a scientist when he grows up. He speaks of how he would love to read

Encyclopedias as a child. He describes his young self as someone who is greatly amazed

by science. During high school, his academic performance started to drop. He was at the

bottom of his class but has no failing grades. Despite his low performance academically,

he was active in different extra-curricular activities like music and arts competitions and

as a student leader. It was also in high school that he started to develop doubts about the

existence of god. He used to ask questions like: “Does God exist? And if he does, why

are there a lot of people who do not believe in him?” He looked for answers to his

questions by reading different articles online as he started to become exposed in a

technologically oriented culture. Also, he frequently got engaged in debates with people

online regarding the existence of a god. Aside from these questions, he also says that
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another factor of why he started to doubt God’s existence is because of his unanswered

prayers. He speaks of how he comes to God for help but receives none; although, this was

not the reason for why he chose to stop believing in the existence of god, as he says. It

was only some sort of precursor that made him ask more and more questions, and with

these questions he had learned more and more about the world through science. During

this period, he started to decline in his church attendance and prayed less but still

believed but was still not

As he got further into college, studying a degree in Nursing, he encountered the

concept of apostasy through the internet. He did not purposefully search for such a term

but rather accidentally stumbled upon it. And with that, he started to dig deeper regarding

the concept of apostasy and came across different pages on the internet managed by

apostates. He also encountered people personally who also has doubts regarding the

existence of a god. He got engaged in discussions with these people and together, would

participate in debates with religious people. In time, he started to completely stop

praying, doing the sign of the cross and attending church and then identified himself as an

apostate. Upon becoming an apostate, he describes how he became a lot more responsible

and industrious because “there was no one to help him but himself” He did not have a

god to pray to anymore so he must do what he can to achieve his goals. He climbed to the

top of his class once again. Although he was not able to finish his degree, and later

worked in different fast food chains until he started studying another degree (which he

chose to not finish), he says that his becoming an apostate greatly helped him face the

hardships of life.
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Case C

Leviticus’ Stages of Apostasy

Female, 25 years old and an apostate for 4 years. She grew up in a Catholic family

and was predominantly raised by her mother because her father was working out of town

and would only go home twice in a month. She was raised to be God-fearing. She attends

church regularly with her family and was an altar server during elementary. She describes

her mother as a very strict and a very religious person who acts as if she is not a Christian

once at home. Her mother would yell curses at them even if she just got home from

church. She also grew up in a culture that emphasizes religiosity, tradition and

conservatism. They would regularly participate in all Catholic traditions such as fiestas

and Lenten season. However, the conservatism of the culture she grew up into wasn’t

very friendly to her as she was growing up showing signs of being part of the third

gender.

She studied in a Private Sectarian school during elementary and in public schools

during high school and college. She was an honor student in elementary and was active in

extracurricular activities during high school. She joined a school organization in

elementary where she became an altar server. She also participated in a catechism at their

local church.

During her high school years, her family started to express their disapproval of

her being part of the third gender. She started to develop doubts about the existence of

god because of how her prayers were not being answered. That despite working hard for

what she prays for, she still can’t achieve them – prayers for good grades, and for her
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family to accept her being in the third gender. There was also a dispute between her

father’s side and her mother’s side which made her question god even more. She was also

turned off by how people would use the Bible to discriminate the third gender. “It’s like

they’re saying that being part of the third gender is worse than committing murder” she

said. She also had questions like: “why good things happen to bad people and why do bad

things happen to good people?” She was also open to the topic that the Bible has been

corrupted by man. With these questions, she started seeking answers by attending Bible

studies from a Baptist church. She went there together with a friend for a few weeks.

However, she said that her questions were not satisfied by what she learns from the Bible

study sessions. She then started reading articles on the internet to find answers to her

questions, and she stumbled upon the concept of apostasy while doing research. Upon

encountering apostasy, she joined an online group of apostates where she reads up on the

different discussions happening between members there. With further engagement

regarding apostasy and her readings from the internet, she then began to identify herself

as an apostate. After which, she stopped praying, attending church, stopped doing the

sign of the cross and disposed her rosary. She observed changes within herself such as:

she became more open minded in a way that she would now try to understand the

different sides of a person instead of quickly jumping into conclusions unlike when she

was still a believer that the Bible was her only basis of everything that is why she would

be quick to judge a person especially if that person acts “un-Biblically”. However, one

friend distanced herself from her after finding out that she is now an apostate. At

presents. Her parents still don’t know that she is an apostate because she is afraid of what

her parents’ reaction would be considering that her mother is very religious.
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Case D
Numbers’ Stages of Apostasy

Female, 25 years old and an apostate for 8 years. She was born as a Protestant.

She was raised by both her parents. She was raised to be respectful and disciplined. The

importance of religion was not emphasized in their house and she can only remember

going to church thrice in her whole lifetime for reasons she could not anymore remember.

She grew up not seeing religion as an important part of life. She did, however, believe

that there is a god, but she doesn’t pray to it because she was not raised to be prayerful

and was therefore not accustomed to praying. Being a Japanese, she was raised in a

culture with high regards for tradition, superstition and is non-religious, career oriented

and technologically oriented. She was an average student throughout her schooling. She

studied in Public schools from elementary to Senior high school.

As she grew up, she began to wonder why a lot of her classmates have no

religion and do not believe in the existence of any God. She would think that, if god is

real, everyone would believe in his existence as there would be evidence for it; however,

almost everyone in Japan do not believe in the existence of God. This made her begin to

doubt whether God is real. When she entered middle school, there was one time when she

and her classmates were discussing about the works of Friedrich Nietzsche – a

philosopher who is famous for the stating ‘God is dead and we have killed him’ – when

the concept of apostasy was brought up, as Nietzsche was an apostate. This was how she

was introduced to the concept of apostasy. As time went by, having found no answer to

her question as to why a lot of people do not believe and seeing how people can live
 87

normally without a need for a god she soon started identifying herself as an apostate. She

did not do anything upon identifying herself an apostate as she was not really religious

from the beginning. There were also no observed changes upon her identification.

Case E

Deuteronomy’s Stages of Apostasy

Male, 26 years old and an apostate for 5 years. He was baptized as Catholic. He

was predominantly raised by both his parents. Religion was not emphasized in their home

although they would go to church infrequently and in rare occasions such as birthdays

and Christmas. He grew up not seeing religion as an important part of life and has

therefore shown little interest to it. He was raised in a culture that emphasizes tradition,

they would participate in Catholic traditions such as fiestas. He studied in public school

from elementary to high school. He describes himself as an above average student and

received honors in elementary and high school. During elementary, he experienced

participating in Bible studies every Saturday spearheaded by their school science teacher.

He would participate only for the sake of participating and being with his friends but he

was not really interested in learning about the Bible.

He first took Engineering in college but there was one subject which took three

times but still could not pass. He even tried praying to God for him to pass that subject,

but still, he failed. Because of this, he decided to stop studying and began feeling

miserable about his perceived failure. He became uninterested in religious matters and

stopped practicing activities related to religion after his prayer was not answered. He also

isolated himself from people during those times. He would just stay in his room watching
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movies and browsing the internet. He encountered movies and TV series that feature an

apostate as a character in the story like The Big Bang Theory and True Detective. It was

through watching these that he encountered the concept of apostasy. He then started

reading more about apostasy on the internet. After more exposure, he soon identified

himself as an apostate. He speaks of no change within him upon identifying himself as an

apostate because he wasn’t really religious to begin with.

Case F

Joshua’s Stages of Apostasy

Male, 25 years old and an apostate for 10 years. He as born a Catholic, He was

predominantly raised by both his parents to be religious. He was raised to be religious.

He grew up in a culture that emphasizes religiosity and is technologically oriented. He

studied in public schools from elementary to college (at present). He describes himself as

an average student but received honors in elementary. They would regularly attend

church services. In high school, he became part of the church choir. In his later years in

high school, he became so indulged with the topic of religion that he would attend church

services from different denominations like Baptist, Iglesia ni Cristo and Methodist. He

also cooperated with a pastor to conduct Bible studies every Saturday in their school for

half a year, he had to stop attending because his mother gave birth and he had to help her

at home. He enjoyed the experience because he got the chance to bond with people he

knew and met new ones. He also started studying the Bible profoundly and have read it

whole. This is when he started to notice contradictions within the Bible itself. He also

began noticing how the Bible is interpreted in different ways depending on the religion.
 89

This is when he started becoming agnostic. He believes that there is an existing god but

did not believe in religion. This is also when he started noticing how his prayers are not

being answered. He began asking questions and discussing these questions with people

he went together with in Bible studies. Questions such as ‘why God allows evil to exist?’,

however he would be answered with ‘just have faith’.

He encountered the concept of apostasy from a friend who is also an agnostic.

They were discussing their ideas when it was opened to him. In time, he completely

abandoned his belief in the existence of a god and identified himself as an apostate. He

stopped praying completely. He kept this to himself as much as he can because he was

afraid to experience discrimination due to the perpetuating stigma against apostates. He

had an experience when some people came to their apartment to ask for solicitations for

their church, then his roommate told them that he was an apostate. The solicitors then

started to move away as if they were “very afraid” of him as he said. Recently, his

parents found out about his being an apostate and they got engaged into a heated

discussion. He said that they got so angry that he thought his father would punch him. In

the end, his parents decided to let it go and said ‘that’s you, fine’, but they still encourage

him to pray every now and then.

Upon becoming an apostate, he described how he felt a more sense of freedom

compared to when he was still a believer that his church mates would cage him to the

idea that ‘this is your church, this is your god’.

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Case G
Judges’ Stages of Apostasy

Female, 28 years old and an apostate for 3 years. She was born as a Seventh Day

Adventist. She was predominantly raised by both parents to be religious. She grew up in

a culture that emphasizes religiosity. She studied in a Private sectarian school in

elementary and in Public school during high school and college. She is currently taking

up a Master’s degree. She describes how religious studies were always incorporated in

their curriculum when she was still studying in elementary. They would be taught stories

and morals from the Bible. She graduated as class valedictorian in elementary and with

honors in high school. Despite her diligence in studying, her parents made sure that she

still attends church activities regularly. She is even part of the church choir, participated

in Bible studies and became a youth leader in her teenage years. She described her

religious experience as enjoyable yet confusing due to the conflicting doctrines within her

church itself that leads to conflicts among the members. There was also some sort of

politics involved where she sees how the religious people would think of themselves as

elites compared to the non-religious, as if they had this “delusion of grandeur” she said.

As she entered college, having an interest in reading fictional books, she began to notice

similarities between the fictional books she reads and the stories in the Bible. She also

started becoming aware about how a lot of stories in the Bible and doctrines in the church

are illogical. She brought this up with the elders of the church but she was told to just

believe them no matter how impossible they might be. She also experienced rejection

from some of her church mates whenever she would ask such questions. She started

reading books about mythologies and later on started reading books about science. By the
 91

time she has already started working, she encountered a pastor who told her that “logic is

dangerous”, she answered “so what you believe in is illogical?” She then started to

question “if the existence of God is illogical, why believe?” This is when she started to

greatly question her faith and began to purposefully search for answers by reading

articles on the internet and reading books written by scientists, who are at the same time,

apostates. Through these readings, she also encountered the concept of apostasy. She

then began interacting with her past church mate who has now became an apostate, this

person then introduced her to the concept of apostasy. She also had a relationship with a

guy who was an apostate. She also joined online groups consisting of apostates. By 2015,

she began to realize that she is now an apostate. She stopped praying and attending

church. Despite this realization, she chose not to label herself. She also chose to not let

her parents know about it because she was afraid of what their reaction might be. She

noticed how she became more open minded after becoming an apostate. She also stopped

being judgmental to the LGBT community compared to when she was still a believer as

she learned that the Bible condemns such.

Case H

Ruth’s Stages of Apostasy

Female, 32 years old and an apostate for 12 years. She was born as an Iglesia ni

Cristo. She was predominantly raised by both her parents. She was raised to be religious

and obedient to the church administration. She grew up in a culture that emphasizes

religiosity and conservatism. She studied in Public schools from elementary to college.

She was an above average student and received honors from preschool to college. She
 92

grew up as a very devoted church member. She had undergone indoctrination and became

a church secretary. During high school, as she became more engrossed in their religion,

she began to notice how everyone thinks of how “it is only the members of their religion

that will be saved”. This made her begin to question the doctrines of their church. She

then began studying about other religions. She attended church services from different

religions like Born Again, Mormons and Methodist. She stopped attending any church as

she entered college but still believes in the existence of a god.

She learned about the concept of apostasy from her ex-boyfriend who was an

apostate. Upon learning about this concept, she began to read articles on the internet that

deals about this topic. Later on, she joined an online group consisting of apostates where

she began discussing with the members. Some members recommended her books that

might help her answer some of her questions. She began reading books that were

recommended to her by some of the members of the group. As she learned more and

more about the different theories in science, she then concluded that it was impossible for

a god to exist. She then identified herself as an apostate. She stopped praying removed

changed her religion from ‘INC’ to ‘none’ in her Facebook profile. She also became an

admin of an online group for apostates. At present, together with her fellow admins, they

arrange outreach events to help street children, typhoon victims, etc. She says that being

an apostate ‘freed her from the binding chains of religion”. She became more open

minded and less judgmental about people.

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Case I

Samuel’s Stages of Apostasy

Female, 35 years old, and an apostate for 15 years. She was baptized into the

Catholic Church. She was predominantly raised by both her parents. She was raised to be

religious and to be curious about her surroundings. She grew up in a conservative,

traditional and religious culture. She describes herself as an above average student. She

studied in public schools from elementary to college. She was a school journalist from

high school to college. She finished with a degree in English. She and her family

regularly attended church services during her elementary years. She was also given a

children’s Bible by her parents for her to read because she was really fond of reading. In

high school, her aunt began inviting her to the Mormon church and she would come

along. During her second year in high school, she was invited by her uncle to attend

church services in their church which is Born Again. She also attended their yearly

church camps for three years.

As she entered college, she became interested in the topic of witchcraft. She

began reading history books about the witches of the middle ages. She later came across

the topic of inquisition which made her become interested in learning more about the

“issues of religion”. She later learned about the crusades and more. She was turned off by

the fact that Christianity’s past wasn’t as “clean” as she previously thought it was. She

was saddened by all the millions of murders committed in the name of Christianity.

Because of these, she began questioning Christianity and later on the existence of God.

She began reading more and more articles on the internet to find answers as to whether
 94

God really exists. In her mind she said was "If God wanted me to keep believing, I'll find

an answer." She stopped going to any church but continued to pray for an answer to make

her keep believing.

After college, she came across an online group for apostates where she

encountered an online debate group for science and religion. At first, she was only a

casual reader until she too became engaged in debates. Having doubts about the existence

of god plus the absence of answers to her questions, she was often defeated by arguments

from those in the side of science. She hated feeling intellectually inferior so she began to

study more about scientific concepts. She joined more online groups that would consist

completely of apostates, she would watch YouTube videos by different scientists and

apostates, she also started reading books wrote by apostates. She then began to

understand what science truly is and how theories really worked. Later on, she abandoned

her faith completely. She stopped praying and disposed the pamphlets she had collected

from different religions. However, she kept her Bible as it was she described “in itself an

evidence against itself”.

Upon becoming an apostate, she began feeling uncomfortable around believers as

she said that “it makes me feel like Neo in Matrix and everyone else is still in a

simulation”. She also said that she became more aware of the hypocrisy committed by

believers and by how they can settle with being religious through words only but not by

deeds.
 95

Case J

Kings’ Stages of Apostasy

Male, 29 years old and an apostate for 2 years. He was a “handog” to the Iglesia

ni Cristo (INC). He was predominantly raised by both his parents. He was raised to be

religious and to always obey the church administration. He grew up in a culture that

emphasizes religiosity. He studied in Public schools from elementary to college. He was

an average student. He won division quiz bees for World History. He hated school

because he disliked being ordered around and conforming. He was an active member in

their church. He underwent indoctrination and also became the president of their youth

organization when he was still in high school. As he entered college, he began to be

turned off by the members of the church. He describes them as “Hypocrites who love

attention too much. They love power and money too much.” He narrates of how he would

go with his father to the Central Temple, as his father has a minor position there, and

there he would see politicians going in and out of the Church especially during campaign

periods. He was puzzled as to what these politicians wanted from their Church and why

the administration would allow them there. As a teenager, having heard stories about how

the Iglesia ni Cristo makes a profit from politicians during elections, he began wondering

whether these were true. He then began asking questions as to the truthfulness of their

doctrines; because of this, he began to lie low in church attendance and participation.

He began studying the doctrines and ideologies of other religions and he also

started reading about philosophy. By the time he finished college, he completely stopped
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going to church but still believed in the existence of God, although he had doubts. He

would often watch debates between different religions in a public park near their area. It

is also where he met an apostate in person. This was when he was introduced to the

concept of apostasy. They became in touch and would watch public debates on weekends

and would engage in discussions with other people in that area. This same friend invited

him to join an online debate group between Muslims, Christians and Apostates. There, he

became more engaged with the concept of apostasy. He began to completely lose faith

due to the new knowledge about science that he was gaining which renders the existence

of God as impossible. He then identified himself as an apostate after a few months. Upon

becoming an apostate, he stopped praying, tossed away all the magazines he got from the

INC, and he also started to observe secular legalism rather religious legalism. Upon

becoming an apostate, he also felt more sense of freedom compared to when he was still

a believer that he felt being dictated by the church administration.

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