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Colin Walsh

Professor Ashely Granillo

English 101

19 November 2018

Big Boys Can Cry

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

― Mahatma Gandhi. Within the system of American health care, one of the most crucial of

services such as psychotherapy is often looked down upon by members of both society and the

individual. In Andrew Reiner’s “Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest”, the societal norms of

masculinity are negatively influencing performances within academia. In comparison, men were

more worried about appearance than their exam results, and women worried more about their

time spent on assignments. Andrew Reiner suggests that men suffer from lower grades and lack

of investment in their studies than their female counterparts; and how men are suffering more

from mental health illness associated with traditional male social norms, however, research

suggests that the harmful effects of patriarchal masculinity go beyond academics; The ratio of

mental illness between genders shows that only a minority of male and female are suffering,

struggling to address, and seeking the care that they need for themselves. Americans not only

need to shift their perceptions of strength but also on how we treat mental illness from both

sides; therefore, if more men were to feel more comfortable with their health needs, and

healthcare was more equipped to handle this issue, this masculinity can be used as a constructive

tool for ethical reform.

According to Andrew Reiner, men are not as invested in their studies as their female

counterparts. Within his research, Reiner noted that the stereotypes of gender bias have
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already been sewn in too deep into the fabric of gender norms for students within the realm

of education: “When I asked one of my male students why he didn’t openly fret about grades

the way so many women do, he said: ‘Nothing’s worse for a guy than looking like a Try

Hard.’” (Reiner,590). In most men that were surveyed in comparison to their female

counters, findings were that the foundations of the common male stereotypes seemed to die

hard. When men are continuing to follow these harmful stereotypical practices, they will only

lead to more complications within their mental health beyond education. Men were raised by

their fathers to be stoic, proud, strong, and the head of the family unit. These ingrained ques

are hard to overcome when asking men to seek help for any necessary health issues.

Within the United States, the stigma against mental illness hasn’t always been the

greatest. Americans, have a certain philosophy on going against getting treatment for mental

illness. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, “Only

41% of adults in the U.S. with a mental health condition received mental health services in

the past year. Among adults with a serious mental illness, 62.9% received mental health

services in the past year.” (Hedden, Kennet and Lipari). While this isn’t tied to any binary

gender, the scope of the issue is just as impactful for everyone who needs proper health care.

The harmful and dividing nature of male customs can lead to cases of depression and other

mental disorders. Men have only recently begun to break the stereotypical mold of proud-

strong-indestructible and acknowledge that seeking help may be the best remedy.

With mental illness being one of the most troubling issues that face young adults, the

influence of male customs has a greater influence on what illnesses are more likely to occur.

If someone identifies a man but is not considered traditionally masculine, you will most
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likely be treated differently from others of the same gender. In some cases, the lack of a

masculine identity has led to some of the most numerous accounts of suicide in men within

the United States: “of the sixteen interviewees, more than half had experienced serious

suicidal thoughts or attempted suicide, …seen suicide as a means of re-establishing control or

a way of demonstrating courage, helping them to reconstruct their masculinity”(POYNTON-

SMITH), This piece taken from a survey not only establishes a greater correlation between

the quantity of mental illness in men but also provides a larger foundation of how this

relationship calls back to Reiner’s claim within academics. Like the traditional women’s

norms, male norms are self-segregating into the rules that governed a world order that is

moving past and towards the direction of progress. The constant expectation of behaving

according to the rules of patriarchy is both damaging to the individual and to society.

The common male stereotype of being the strong stoic leader hasn’t really changed for

the last couple of centuries. So, it comes as no surprise that when confronted about the

changes towards the meaning of manhood, a number of individuals are still struggling to find

a proper foothold to embrace the needed change. It’s a common stereotype to say whenever a

man goes to the doctor, more times than not, the man refuses to accept that anything is

wrong. This is tied into the notion that a man needs to at least portray the image of strength.

Although, even with the establishment that men naturally aren’t gifted with an iron will,

especially at an early stage in life when you are most vulnerable to outside influences;

research shows that the opposite is apparently true: “The study finds 30 percent of women

have told a little white lie or omitted information to their doctor, compared to 23 percent of

men, who are more forthcoming and open about their well-being:” ("New ZocDoc Study

Reveals Women Are More Likely Than Men To Lie To Doctors | ZocDoc"). This source was
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collected through a survey that relied on self-reporting. While this information may seem

contradictory, the bias can be overlooked given that it only reinforces the platform of how

both men and women are vulnerable to mental illness by not reckoning the need to get help

for even basic health needs; However, these past patriarchal influences are hard to overcome

when the machoism is ingrained into male society. The male ego is probably the most vital

part in overcoming this ingrained objection to seeking professional help when needed. Once

the male ego is allowed to accept the fact that seeking professional mental help is vital to

overall good health, then males can gain ground to their female counterparts in this area.

Women, on the other hand, have been dealing with the hardships of patriarchal

masculinity first hand. With men dealing mainly with depression, a woman has a wider

variety of issues that originate from expectations of both men and women. Not to say that

women that struggle with mental illness have any less value than men, the importance of men

understanding that expression doesn’t have to sacrifice happiness is the key to dealing with

the source of many social issues that lead to breaks within mental health. “Without a broader

view of the social structure …many women may be less likely to consider depression as

somehow indicative of larger, though diffuse, workings of gender and patriarchy” (Neitzke).

If the source of men falling behind in school or the feeling of inadequacy is linked to the

shortcomings of society, then the act of asking for help can bring strides to helping both men

and women at the same time.

Sometimes seeking help can be viewed as more challenging for some genders than

others. While both sides of the conversation are aware of the damage created by outmoded

customs, the severity of toxic masculinity has led to a concern regarding the agency to seek
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help, especially with women living facing the challenge of having the power to speak put

also too afraid to speak: “As mental disorders…are more prevalent among women...they may

be better informed about mental illness and also…ready to recommend professional help”

(Holzinger). With the stronger insight to acknowledge mental illness, women are more likely

to seek closure from any wounds inflicted from prior generations of not speaking out.

Whereas women have traditionally faced the brunt of the dreadful standards of masculinity,

the pressure of conformity has also made men susceptible to follow the rules.

With each passing day, both men and women are redefining social norms to

accommodate more openness and emotional expression. However, the foundation for this

much-needed change has a long while before true equity is reached. For some men, the

transition between patriarchal and progressive values has been more of a stall then a step

towards healing. “Some theories also contend that men are not permitted to be expressive in

their illness behavior or postpone seeking help in an effort to conform to a socially prescribed

male role where weakness and need for help are not believed to be masculine” (Holzinger).

With the fear of being looked down upon among their peers, and in consequence avoiding

treatment in the form of psychiatric therapy, men can play a significant part in bridging the

gap between the gender spectrum.

Furthermore, the inherit taboo within male culture expands far beyond the divide between

genders. The divide also leans towards the conflict between members of the same social

niche, especially when outward appearance is valued more than the integrity of one's

wellbeing. Men still have to fight a similar battle with women when treating others as their

equals. Similar to the world of cliques in the world of academia, the world of politics has
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been a driving force within the segregation of thy fellow man. In the lead up to the

Presidential race in 1988, “Michael Dukakis had seen a psychiatrist after his brother's death

drove his polls down eight points in a few days. 'Look, I'm not going to pick on an invalid,'

said Ronald Reagan at the time, twisting the knife” (Rich). Just 30 short years ago, the most

visible male figure in the news media was portraying the ever-present male stereotype of

masculinity and image of strength. Even at the presidential level, the need to fulfill the role of

stoic protector has led to many men becoming emotionally damaged and left with only the

option to spread the divide further or be considered an outcast. While we are currently

experiencing the greatest increase of progress within the last couple of decades, examples

within the last few centuries still provide proof that empathy has not yet turned the corner

towards full equality of showing one’s true needs and compassion towards others. Women

have accepted and made significant progress towards seeking help with their mental health

issues, while their male counterparts have made some progress, but have yet to reach the

same goals.

In Conclusion, If more men were to feel more comfortable with their mental health needs,

and healthcare was more equipped to handle this issue, then masculinity can be used as a

constructive tool for ethical reform. While that the claim Andrew Reiner suggests about men

suffer from lower grades than their female counterparts are true, he has only scratched the

surface on addressing the bigger picture. While more research suggests that the harmful effects

of toxic male bonding go beyond academics; The ratio of mental illness between genders still

shows that only a minority of both male and female are suffering from both the aftermath and the

transition out of the patriarchy, many people who haven’t had proper council are struggling to

address their behavior towards others and how it ultimacy affects the world around them.
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Overall, not only we need to shift our mindsets away from roles of outward strength but also on

how we treat mental illness as a matter of grave importance from both sides.
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Works Cited

Holzinger, A., et al. "Gender Differences in Public Beliefs and Attitudes about Mental Disorder in

Western Countries: A Systematic Review of Population Studies. “Epidemiology and

Psychiatric Sciences, ProQuest, vol. 21, no. 1, 2012, pp. 73-85.

http://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2048/login?url=https://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2457/docview/1115

290647?accountid=38295, doi:

http://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2069/10.1017/S2045796011000552.

Neitzke, Alex B. "An Illness of Power: Gender and the Social Causes of Depression. “Culture,

Medicine and Psychiatry, ProQuest, vol. 40, no. 1, 2016, pp. 59-73.

http://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2048/login?url=https://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2457/docview/1761

625783?accountid=38295, doi: http://ezproxy.canyons.edu:2069/10.1007/s11013-015-9466-

3.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Results from the 2014 National Survey

on Drug Use and Health: Mental Health Findings, NSDUH Series H-50, HHS Publication

No. (SMA) 15-4927. Rockville, MD: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services

Administration. (2015). Retrieved October 27, 2015

from http://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/NSDUH-FRR1-2014/NSDUH-FRR1-

2014.pdf

Rich, Frank. “The Last Taboo:” Proquest, College of the Canyons Library, 23 Dec. 1997,

ezproxy.canyons.edu:2457/docview/430887979/B87C931C48ED47D7PQ/4?accountid=3829

5.
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POYNTON-SMITH, EMMA. WHY IS THE SUICIDE RATE HIGHER IN MEN THAN IN

WOMEN?. 2018, p. pg.7,

http://www.psychology.nottingham.ac.uk/staff/ddc/c8cxpa/further/Dissertation_examples/Po

ynton-Smith_15.pdf. Accessed 19 Nov 2018.

"New ZocDoc Study Reveals Women Are More Likely Than Men To Lie To Doctors | ZocDoc".

ZocDoc, 2018, https://www.zocdoc.com/about/news/new-zocdoc-study-reveals-women-are-

more-likely-than-men-to-lie-to-doctors/. Accessed 20 Nov 2018.

Graff, Gerald et al. They Say / I Say. 4th ed., W. W. Norton & Company, 2018, p. 590.
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