As An Actual Samurai

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As an actual, real-life samurai
by - jmagnolia (Sat Aug 9 2003 18:56:57 ) Ignore this
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I am an actual, real-life samurai who follows the code of the

Bushido. Samurai affiliation is not limited to race, so Tom Cruise
being one does not fall into the realm of impossibility. I am an
anglo-American an am a samurai.
J-Mag
Re: As an actual, real-life samurai
by - penneym (Sun Aug 10 2003 05:18:02 ) Ignore this
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There is this one prof at the University of Kanazawa in Japan's. He

is a German who has lived in Japan for 20 years. His Japanese is
great, he even reads period documents from over 1000 years ago
without much trouble. He did his PhD in Buddhist Studies in Japan.
He is an advanced level student of Iaido, Kendo, Judo, Aikido, and
Karate. Probably over 3rd dan in each. His Iaido is so flawless that
he has won general competitions in Japan's Hokuriku region. These
competitions included Japanese practitioners, some of whom had been
training for far longer than this individual. He has written books
about the philosophy of the martial arts in both Japanese and
German. He has even done an in-depth study of the use of the do /
tao term as it applies to the martial arts and their development.
His collection of books and documents connected to the martial arts
and samurai philosophy is one of the best that I have ever seen in
private hands. One time someone suggested that this individual is a
"real-life samurai." He just gave a polite smile and said "that's
silly." True story.
[Post deleted]
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by - jmagnolia (Mon Aug 11 2003 19:19:39 ) Ignore this
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"Samurai is a class your born into, but i think its fine to follow
the code if you wish to do so."
Thanks, but I am a Samurai because I follow the Way of the Samurai.

by - rkroger (Thu Aug 14 2003 14:22:05 ) Ignore this
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Being a real life samurai does that mean when working at the office
and you get caught Xeroxing your butt cheeks that you'll have to
impale yourself on your own sword for the dishonor?
by - Capitaine_Beufcack (Fri Aug 15 2003 03:07:31 )
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Recently I heard the saying: "Often, silence is the best answer". I

will refrain from the wisdom in that statement by calling you an
idiot.
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Fri Aug 15 2003 06:02:27 )
As an actual, real-life superhero, I can tell you that my powers are

vast and great. My public name is one that you would not know, so
let's just say my last name is Smith. I live at Stately Smith Manor
and my secret identity is Comet Boy. I have a yellow cape and I can
fly. I can turn invisible at will, and I have telekinetic powers.
So I have no problem at all believing that jmagnolia is a true
samurai. Dude, we should get together and fight crime.
by - jmagnolia (Fri Aug 15 2003 17:43:16 ) Ignore this
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Look, idiot, I am not joking around. I am a samurai. That doesn't

mean I go around killing people, although I would kill if I had to.
I take my code very seriously. Why don't you try living according to
the code for just two weeks and see how you fair?
Perhaps being engaged in an actual dual would wipe that smirk off
your face.
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Fri Aug 15 2003 19:55:25 )
UPDATED Fri Aug 15 2003 20:19:01
I would love to try living by your code to see how I "fare," but I
would still be but an insect compared to you, o great and mighty
samurai warrior who travels hither thither and yon, righting wrongs
and defending the innocent.
And like I said, I want to fight crime WITH you, not engage in a
"duel." I want us to join forces and clean up this world. You can be
like Batman, because you're so smart, even though you misspelled TWO
four-letter words. Heck, I'm sure memorizing your code and applying
it to every aspect of your 2003 modern American life takes a lot of
effort, right? So what if some people (not that I am naming names)
have already come to the conclusion that you're a teenager living in
a fantasy world, knowing that you'll never actually have to back up
your online boasts of "duels" and encyclopedic knowledge of the
samurai code? That shouldn't matter to someone like YOU, who lets
not the slings and arrows of the world dampen his warrior spirit. A
lesser man would angrily stomp his feet and whine, "I AM a samurai!
I AM, I AM, I AM!" But not you. You are truly a shining example of
how a samurai should be, calmly pointing out to the unwashed masses
how you are, quite simply, their superior.
So give me a call, kouki no sensei, and we'll stride forth into the
world and make it a better place.
by - jmagnolia (Fri Aug 15 2003 22:32:21 ) Ignore this
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I do not pretend to be superior. I am merely a Samurai who follows

his master, and follows the code. I do not wish to cause trouble,
but I will not back down to a smite against my honor.
I do not request your tolerance, for it is not yours to give. From
the source all things come, and all things return. The sooner you
understand this, the sooner you will be able to understand all that
I am.
I am not a complex man. I am merely a follower of the Code.
Good day to you sir.
[Post deleted]
by - penneym (Sat Aug 16 2003 07:54:11 ) Ignore this
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I'm just wondering, who's your master?

by - belacane (Sat Aug 16 2003 12:29:51 ) Ignore this
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Good question. Every time some bozo protests that he is a samurai on

this board, I wonder about that.
Donna
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Sat Aug 16 2003 12:36:18 )
My tolerance is not mine to give......gee, ya got me there. I think

you're a really super-smart fella, but with that one, you seem to
have simply put some words together in a way that sounds
flowery-like.
But shooooot, I still want to be your partner! We can form a new
Justice League, you the modern-day samurai, and me the defender of
freedom known throughout the cosmos as Comet Boy!
I like them fancy words you say; quoting a code is not something
that just ANYONE can do. No sir, you MUST be a real-life samurai to
be able to throw out mottos and deep-sounding phrases, because
that's something that only a true warrior could pull off. I'm glad
to have found myself a crime-fighting partner that's so genuine! And
it humbles me to know that "understanding you" is so clearly my goal
in life. I had hoped to be able to conceal my desire to understand
all that you are in all your complexity, but I guess the cat's out
of the bag now, isn't it?
I admit it, understanding all of who you are is my all-consuming
passion. I'm looking forward to it. The best part is that you don't
sound AT ALL like a teenage geek who sits in his parents' basement,
trying to absorb, osmosis-like, the character traits of people on
Star Trek or Dungeons & Dragons. You have hit the nail on the head;
the very BEST way to get people to take you seriously is to act all
aloof and to spout off maxims that no one uses outside of the world
of fiction. I bet you just have all sorts of people who look up to
you, dontcha? Well, even though there are probably dozens of other
worthy candidates vying to be your crime-fighting partner, Mr.
Samurai sensei sir, I hope you'll grant me a trial period of sorts;
that way we can see how you and I mesh, see if we can develop a
banter that'll play well in the comic books, where REAL life
happens, eh?
Please contact me as soon as possible with your decision, o holy
warrior. And please let me know how I might re-acquire the tolerance
that I had thought was mine to give. Also let me know what other
feelings I am or am not permitted to have. For surely the way of the
wise is to let jmagnolia guide their path.....

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I really hope he has an answer. Maybe it is "Uncle Sam"? (^_^)

by - Capitaine_Beufcack (Sat Aug 16 2003 16:23:54 )
I accept your challenge of a duel, u delusional maniac. Mabye i can

beat u sane.
[Post deleted]

by - jmagnolia (Sun Aug 17 2003 00:19:33 ) Ignore
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HAHAHAHA yeah that's real funny. You must have a great since
of humor. To the guys above you, I have a master and I will
definately not reveal his identity. To the other jack asses on
this board I am not a teeneager, I am 28, have my own job and
will soon have my own place.
Just because you never had the disclipline to live a life of
purpose doesn't mean you must turn green with envy. You
ignorant beetles don't even know what the Bushido is. You will
never know because you are ants. You revolt me.

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>Just because you never had the disclipline to live a life of

purpose doesn't >mean you must turn green with envy. You ignorant
beetles don't even know what >the Bushido is. You will never know
because you are ants.
Hey, hey there. No discipline? I had enough disciplie to learn
Japanese and read "Hagakure" in the original. I've also done
philology type studies on the works of Arai Hakuseki, Yamaga Soko,
Yoshida Shoin, Takasugi Shinsaku, Motoori Norinaga, etc. Turning
green with envy now? Most of this stuff ain't translated into
English there jackass, so where exactly did your magical knowledge
of bushido come from? Let me let you in on another secret - the
abridged translations of "Hagakure" in English are GARBAGE. You're
not going to understand bushido if you are only reading half of the
work and a badly translated half at that. "Book of Five Rings"?
Don't make me laugh, Cleary's translation is crap as well. What? You
can't say beacuse you've never read anything about your precious
bushido in the original?
As for not telling us who your master is, that shows more ignorance
of bushido than anything else. While this may not have made in into
the half of the "Hagakure" that you keep under your pillow, a
samurai in the Edo period, when asked to give his name in a
situation of "honour" would name his lord FIRST as a way to play-up
his importance. So don't give us that "I will definately not reveal
his identity" crap. That is more of an insult to your "lord" than
anything. If you don't think so, it just shows that your bushido
does not go much deeper than spouting fortune cookie wisdom.
Here is the kicker. If you ever told a REAL Japanese person about
your "living by the code" (Mountain Dew Code Red maybe) they would
laugh politely and back slowly away. You're not going to impress
anyone this way. It is just silly. My advice to you, if you're
interested in Bushido, learn Japanese and read the philosophical
texts that you can't buy at Barnes and Noble. Asking people for
fights on internet message boards is NOT the samurai way. That
should be obvious to anyone. If you want to be part of a tradition
like that, have enough respect for it and the culture that produced
it to become a student, don't going around making attempts to
"teach" the true way....
Re: As an actual, real-life normal person
by - belacane (Sun Aug 17 2003 06:27:58 ) Ignore this
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I'm my own master, and graciously allow my husband to share the

title and benefits. I've got discipline enough to give birth to, and
raise, a child, in addition to running a web store and keeping the
house running.
Call me lacking, but I've got no knowledge of samurai ethics. WHY
would anyone claim to be a samurai? It seems like such a historical
thing - like claiming you're a knight of the Round Table. Who's
going to care in your everyday life?? Who are these samurai trying
to impress?
Yes, they're trying to impress us on the discussion board - but
let's say this board didn't exist. Where are their "codes" put to
use in daily life? Fighting people? Fighting is so redneck.
D.
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Sun Aug 17 2003 06:37:58 )
Make up your mind, dude; are we ants or are we beetles?

Hey, if we're beetles, can I be George Harrison?
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>I'm my own master, and graciously allow my husband to share the

title and >benefits. I've got discipline enough to give birth to,
and raise, a child, in >addition to running a web store and keeping
the house running.
Good points. In the end, it takes a lot more effort and discipline
to make a go of it living in your your own society than to think
that you are some kind of master from another age.
>Call me lacking, but I've got no knowledge of samurai ethics.
Why would I call you lacking? I'm a Japanese history PhD student on
scholarship. That is what I do. Knowing about Japan is my business.
You seem to have your own life together with your own things on the
go. I don't run a web store, I wouldn't have a clue about how to
start one. I don't consider myself lacking. I think that everyone
with real discipline and a frim grasp on reality has their own thing
and that is great. Pity I can't say the same for our resident
samurai. It seems like these kinds of esoteric appeals to a code
that is long gone are little more than a silly attempt to fool
people who don't know any better.
>WHY would anyone claim to be a samurai? It seems like such a
historical >thing - like claiming you're a knight of the Round
Table. Who's going to care >in your everyday life?? Who are these
samurai trying to impress?
As I said above, it is probably to make up for the fact that they
don't have a lot going on in their lives. After all, why do a PhD
and learn Japanese or why start a business and try to raise a family
when you can just go around telling yourself that you are a samurai
and thinking that you are better than everyone.... I think that we
know the answer to that and I hope that our "samurai" friends get
the message. Samurai is a word that is tied to Japanese history.
Westerners cannot really tap into that tradition at present. Samurai
was a legal concept from the 17th century until the early 1870's
when the class was done away with by law. Period. There are no more
samurai, just people who think they are. Following bushido is also
not possible in modern society as it is a code that is firmly rooted
in a specific time period with a specific type of social
organization. At present, people can claim to follow the code of
chivalry but the fact is that the church and society as a whole are
not organized in that way anymore. Same for bushido.
>Yes, they're trying to impress us on the discussion board - but
let's say >this board didn't exist. Where are their "codes" put to
use in daily life? >Fighting people? Fighting is so redneck.
Well, it seems like most of these people are reading a little book
called "Hagakure" as the source of "the code". "Hagakure" is just
one man's opinion and it was more or less outdated as it was being
written because of changes in Japanese society. Nevertheless, some
people seem to be reading the English translation and thinking that
it is a good idea to live by that code which plays up sacrifice for
one's "lord" (to the point of thinking about ways to die for him
every day) and a sense of personal honour that is not in line with
modern living (for example, a samurai would say that minutes spend
typing on this message board, boasting, are a waste of time that
would be better spent in service, even turning on a television would
create moral problems for a "real" samurai). Being a samurai had
little to do with fighting, really.... Samurai women were still
samurai and they had their own sense of duties and obligations which
were not (normally) related to martial matters. However, it seems
like our IMDB samurai jackasses like to challange people to fights
knowing that they will never come face to face.... In the end, one
Westerner named Will Adams, was a made a samurai in the early 17th
century. This was based on his ability to supervise shipbuilding and
it was an economic arrangement - ie. he was given a stiped by his
"lord" (he was a direct vassal of the Shogun but that is another
story for another time) and expected to carry out certain duties. At
present, neither Westerners nor Japanese can become samurai just
like I cannot become a Roman Proconsul. Things change.
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I'll be Ringo (^_^)
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I'd be Lennon, but then that puts us back into another discussion -
Indian mysticism - and since we're having trouble with samurai, I
don't think we're ready to tackle Indian stuff yet!! LOL.
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I don't think that there are many white Americans wandering around
calling themselves Indian mystics. In any case, Ringo never had to
worry about that (^_^) In the town where I was born, there was a
man....
by - New_Era (Sun Aug 17 2003 12:31:09 ) Ignore this
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Hate to get involved in this arguement, but I believe Bushido is

'the way of the warrior', and I am a Kendo Practictioner I know a
few things about other Japanese martial arts as well.
Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
Rusty: Reverse that.
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UPDATED Sun Aug 17 2003 18:12:38
Maybe so, but before this past week, I didn't think there were that
many white Americans wandering around calling themselves samurai,
either!
D.
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What does that have to do with me claiming to be Ringo (^_^) In any
case, if you have any problem with anything that I said in the post
above, I'd like to hear it. Let's not forget that the jackass who
started all this did not say he was just a follower of bushido, he
said that he was a "real" samurai, whatever that is supposed to be
(and if you read the above post, you'll see that I have a pretty
good idea). If you practice Kendo, you should know better than most
people the difference between a swordsman and a samurai in the
legal/philosophical/moral sense. Where do you train, BTW?
(Notice that I respond to a statement that "I am a Kendo
Practitioner" with curiousity. You practice Kendo, that's great.
Kendo, at present is both a martial art and a sport. Anyone - white,
yellow, black, or green can do it. Nobody can "just be" a samurai.
You claim to be a samurai, you've got a few screws loose....)
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I've been studying Japanese history and language as a professional

for 5 years but I've never met one. It seems like you start a
message page like this and they just come out of the woodwork (^_^)
by - jmagnolia (Sun Aug 17 2003 20:28:47 ) Ignore this
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For someone who purports to know so much, have you even seen the
film Ghost Dog, Way of the Samurai? That might put things in
perspective for you.
As to the others, I don't NEED to justify my existance as a Samurai
to you. If you are jealous that you don't have the capacity to
follow the code, that's fine. Let those of us who can do.
J-Mag
[Post deleted]

by - Volleistung (Sun Aug 17 2003 20:43:02 ) Ignore
i could've been a samurai. but what i really wanted to do was write
[Post deleted]
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by - penneym (Mon Aug 18 2003 00:47:02 ) Ignore this
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I think that Ghost Dog is supposed to be taken as part parody, BTW.

Funny that you responded to my "Ringo" posts and not the more
complex one above talking about the historical nature of the term
samurai. I don't think that you need to justify your existance as a
samurai to us but you probably need to justify it to history or say,
any Japanese you meet. I could go around calling myself a warrior of
one of the native American tribes but why do it when you would just
offend people who are a part of that tradition?
In any case, if you want to talk about any of the "perspective" in
the above post, go right ahead. I guess everyone has noticed that
while I have been wrong about some things about "The Last Samurai",
nobody has said "boo" about any of my historical points. Put up or
shut up.
PS, I wouldn't be bragging about having seen Ghost Dog to someone
who has seen about 600 or 700 Japanese movies on top of research and
the like. How's that for perspective?
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Mon Aug 18 2003 02:14:54 )
I've decided that I'm a Samurai, too. I have a katana, so all I need
to do is follow these, right?
a sense of justice and honesty,
courage and contempt for death,
self-control,
sympathy towards all people,
politeness and respect for etiquette,
sincerity and respect for one's word of honour,
absolute loyalty to one's superior,
a duty to defend the honour of one's name and guild.
So hey, whaddya know? You've helped indoctrinate a new recruit. Now
all I gotta do is walk around and begin every conversation with,
"You know, as a modern-day Samurai..." and pretty soon everyone will
respect me. They'll think a lot less of actual Samurai, but what
does that matter, when my main goal is arrogant self-promotion?
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(^_^)
Good one, man.
As for your "samurai code" it probably looks a lot like the "codes"
of the other samurai around here - misses the point (which is okay
for you because you're joking).... As you will notice, most of the
concepts on the list are "culture specific" for example - burning an
arsonist alive is pretty far from what we would consider justice but
it was right at home in samurai thought. There was also the matter
of institutionlized homosexuality in samurai society.... The point
being - most of the people on this page are part of the Western,
Christian tradition and are not going to come close to understanding
what the concept of personal honour would have meant to a samurai
without years of reading original sources. That is why all of these
samurai walking around should give it a break and go back to
watching "Ghost Dog" or playing "Shogun: Total War" or whatever got
them started on this buzz in the first place....
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - New_Era (Mon Aug 18 2003 10:51:28 ) Ignore this
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LOL well said. I'm actually a beginner in Kendo and I practice in a

KOREAN center which teaches both Kendo (or Kumdo in Korean), and Tae
Kwon Do. I do not claim to be a Samurai (as I'm not! lol) and yes
there is a difference between a swordsman and samurai as the samurai
follow a VERY strict code that has to be followed carefully, while a
Kendoist practices either as a sport or to create harmony inside
themselves (Kendo/Kumdo also teaches restrain and other important
things that you could use in everyday life especially in a conflict
situation). Kendo is very similar to other Martial Arts from around
the region in the aspects of respect, good attitude, preparedness,
but other things obviously differ like using the sword to spar.
Kendo= Way of the Sword in Japanese.
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I know about kendo. Did you miss the above post about me being a
Japanese-speaking Japanese history grad student (^_^)
Anyway, it is good to see that people with their heads on the right
way are gradually coming to outnumber the other kind on this
page....
I'm very interested in Kendo but I box myself (Western boxing)
although I did learn in Japan. I find that the respect, good
attitude, preparedness, discipline that you mentioned also applies
to the Japanese approach toward teaching Western boxing as well.
Great for fitness - both mental and physical.
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UPDATED Mon Aug 18 2003 13:51:38
I did see your previous posts as well Penneym . I also find Japanese
history fascinating yet it will be at least a few years before I can
take a full course on it if I decide to do so. My geography teacher
taught in Japan for a few years and shared some perspectives on the
culture over there which was quite cool as well. Thanks for your
reply by the way.
-New Era-
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If you are thinking about doing some Japanese history, go for it! I
bet that you will find it rewarding. A lot of the virtues that you
found to be interesting about Kendo and the like pop up in Japanese
religion, philosophy, literature, film, etc. so you can't go wrong.
If you can't take a course on it for a while, why not check out some
books in the meantime? I bet you will like Hiroaki Sato's "Legends
of the Samurai". There are dozens of great Japanese films translated
into English (and 1000's more that will never be....) and if you
want any advice about where to start, I'd be only too happy to
provide.
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Thanks alot, I really appreciate people as thoughtful and

intelligent as you on the boards. I will look into the book you
suggested as well as others my local library can provide. Again,
thanks for the replies.
Best Regards,
-New Era-
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

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Don't worry man, we all figured out that you are not one of the
"real American samurai" (^_^)
As for Rashomon, I'd have to agree with you about it being a great
film. However, I think that Kurosawa gets too much credit for this
one. It is stunning in terms of visuals and structure (music, etc.
are great as well and the acting deserves a special mention) but by
far the best thing about it is the theme/multiple-perspectives idea.
For that, the credit has to go to the author of the original short
stories - Aukutagawa Ryunosuke. I'd encourage you to check out his
works if you like the movie.
It seems like you are a pretty big Kurosawa fan. Have you seen all
of his films? If not, I hope that you will check out his
"modern-day" movies as well as his samurai stuff. While it is normal
for film fans to put Seven Samurai on top of the heap, it is also
most usual for people to put Ikiru at number two on the list (that
is the way that I see it as well). Are there any other Japanese
directors that you like?
[Post deleted]

by - penneym (Tue Aug 19 2003 03:06:07 ) Ignore this
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"In a Grove" and "Rashomon" are the two short stories. It is

interesting to see how Kurosawa took elements from both of them to
make the movie. I think that Kurosawa's "Golden Age" may be late
40's to mid-50's although that is a matter of debate. Yojimbo is a
great work but it represents a shift in style and may fall a bit
outside of Kurosawa's prime.
Have you seen "Kagemusha"? I think it is clearly the best of
Kurosawa's later works. It is another samurai story and you should
take a look.
I haven't seen Wild Strawberries yet either but as far as I know,
Ikiru is pretty unique. I don't think that you can compare it to
Citizen Kane. In any case, Citizen Kane was not seen in Japan until
several years after Ikiru was made so there was no influence on the
Japanese work.
If you like Miyazaki, you should check out some of the works of his
partner - Takahata Isao - Grave of the Fireflies, Omoide Poroporo,
Ponpoko, Tonari no Yamada-kun. As for live action directors, if you
want to get more into "modern day" Japanese works, try Ozu Yasujiro.
Ozu's prime and Kurosawa's prime took place at about the same time
and many think that Ozu was the better film maker.
Hope you can turn up some good Japanese films. Enjoy.
by - Miracle3 (Wed Aug 20 2003 18:59:41 ) Ignore this
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'I know about kendo. Did you miss the above post about me being a
Japanese-speaking Japanese history grad student (^_^)'.
No, we didn't miss it. We are all just so amazed and impressed by
it, that is all.
by - Miracle3 (Wed Aug 20 2003 19:07:48 ) Ignore this
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'PS, I wouldn't be bragging about having seen Ghost Dog to someone

who has seen about 600 or 700 Japanese movies on top of research and
the like. How's that for perspective?'.
600 or 700 Japanese films? Plus research? Wow, how can you go better
than that? You must, like, know everything about Japan and stuff. Do
you speak Japanese too? It must be so difficult for a foreign person
to learn Japanese. What about reading? Can you read those pictures
too?
[Post deleted]

by - penneym (Thu Aug 21 2003 03:09:52 ) Ignore this
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Didn't really mean to brag or anything. I just don't like being

accused of having no perspective by someone who thinks they have
become a "real samurai" after having seen "Ghost Dog".
>600 or 700 Japanese films? Plus research? Wow, how can you go
better than >that?
Another 600 or 700 films plus more research.
>You must, like, know everything about Japan and stuff.
I wish. Anyway, that is why I keep working on it. I do this for a
living so I'll likely keep watching Japanese movies and doing
research on various topics for another 60 years (or whenever I get
too senile to continue).
>Do you speak Japanese too? It must be so difficult for a foreign
person to >learn Japanese.
Yes and yes. It is hard but not as difficult as some people make it
out to be. If you are really interested in Japanese film, culture,
etc. I'd suggest that you do a few courses and try to get in some
kind of exchange program to study in Japan for a while.
>What about reading? Can you read those pictures too?
Yep. Learning enough characters to read books is almost as hard as
learning to speak the language itself but I love reading Japanese
books and the like so the effort was worth it.
by - Miracle3 (Thu Aug 21 2003 18:06:45 ) Ignore this
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'Didn't really mean to brag or anything. I just don't like being

accused of having no perspective by someone who thinks they have
become a "real samurai" after having seen "Ghost Dog".'.
I think you have a point there!
'I wish. Anyway, that is why I keep working on it. I do this for a
living so I'll likely keep watching Japanese movies and doing
research on various topics for another 60 years (or whenever I get
too senile to continue).'.
Just out of interest, how do you make a living out of it? Are you a
writer?
What would you say your top 5 Japanese films are?
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Thu Aug 21 2003 19:32:25
>Just out of interest, how do you make a living out of it? Are you a
writer?
I'm a "professional student" at the moment. That means I go from
scholarship to scholarship until I finish a postdoc and become a
university history prof. Some people may think that this sounds like
a dull lifestyle but I really can say that I get paid to watch
movies and do research on whatever I want.... Sweet, huh?
>What would you say your top 5 Japanese films are?
Tough question. I don't like to rank movies in order so I'll give
you 10 of my favorite Japanese directors (in no order) and my
favorite film from each -
Ozu Yasujiro - Tokyo Story
Kurosawa Akira - Seven Samurai
Miyazaki Hayao - All of his movies are tied for #1
Mizoguchi Kenji - Ugetsu
Imamura Shohei - Ballad of Narayama
Suzuki Seijun - Kenka Ereji / Tokyo Drifter
Kobayashi Masaki - The Human Condition
Oshima Nagisa - Cruel Story of Youth
Rintaro - Galaxy Express 999
Ah hell, here are a bunch of my other favorites - Himatsuri, Avalon,
Lone Wolf and Cub 2-3 (hell, I know they are cheesy....), Okinawa
Kessen, Nikudan, 203 Kochi, Dokuritsugurentai, Omoide Poroporo,
Horus - Prince of the Sun, Boryokudan, etc.
Of the current batch of cult stuff making the rounds in US video
stores, I'd say - Battle Royale, Kids Return, Visitor Q, Audition,
The Happiness of the Katakuris, Afterlife, etc. are all very much
worth checking out. In the end, I should just say that there is a
lot of great stuff out there and even some of the marginal stuff is
still interesting. If you watch a lot of Japanese movies, your
interest is sure to grow along with your knowledge of Japanese film
history and culture in general so I would encourage everyone -
casual film fan, Japanese student, and samurai - to go out and see
more Japanese movies. As for me, I'm going back to Japan next week
so I'll have a chance to see some new first run movies as well as
whatever good stuff I can dig up in video stores. If you have any
other questions about Japanese movies or want some more info on any
of the ones that I mentioned, don't be afraid to post.
by - gford9 (Thu Aug 21 2003 21:55:29 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
i really like Galaxy Express 999. what did you think of Metropolis?
that's cool that you are a student of Japanese history. how did you
get into that? where do you usually stay when you are in Japan?
by - Miracle3 (Thu Aug 21 2003 22:28:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
'I'm a "professional student" at the moment. That means I go from

scholarship to scholarship until I finish a postdoc and become a
university history prof. Some people may think that this sounds like
a dull lifestyle but I really can say that I get paid to watch
movies and do research on whatever I want.... Sweet, huh?'.
Sounds like a good deal if your interest is also your source of
income. Are they Canadian or Japanese universities? I read one of
your other posts that mentioned you were from Canada.
>What would you say your top 5 Japanese films are?
Ozu Yasujiro - Tokyo Story
Kurosawa Akira - Seven Samurai
Miyazaki Hayao - All of his movies are tied for #1
Mizoguchi Kenji - Ugetsu
Imamura Shohei - Ballad of Narayama
Suzuki Seijun - Kenka Ereji / Tokyo Drifter
Kobayashi Masaki - The Human Condition
Oshima Nagisa - Cruel Story of Youth
Rintaro - Galaxy Express 999
Thanks for the recommendations. I would say Sonatine is possibly my
favourite Japanese film, although some of the Kurosawa stuff is
great too. Lost interest in Ghibli films, but Naoshika is still my
favourite.
'Of the current batch of cult stuff making the rounds in US video
stores, I'd say - Battle Royale.'.
You liked Battle Royale? I thought it was junk. Fair enough.
'As for me, I'm going back to Japan next week so I'll have a chance
to see some new first run movies as well as whatever good stuff I
can dig up in video stores.'.
I saw Juon the other day but can't really recommend it. Creepy but
no narrative. I don't expect 2 to be any better.

by - penneym (Fri Aug 22 2003 03:26:28 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Galaxy Express 999 is a great movie. There is a real poetry to the

visuals and the thematic content is very interesting and has some
real impact on viewers. With all of the buzz over Miyazaki in recent
years, fans (especially those in the West) tend to forget that there
are some great "pre-Miyazaki classics" out there and GE999 is one of
them.
Metropolis is a very, very good movie. The only complaint that I
have with it is that both Otomo and Rintaro had done similar types
of films before (with similar themes and execution) so I never got
the feeling that I was seeing an entirely new product. However, the
visuals are great and some of the material (the left-wing riot, for
example) is interesting. I also like how they used elements of the
original manga (very different from the final product) as well as
the Friz Lang classic to add to the feel.
As for how I got into Japanese history, it is a pretty long story.
Let's just say that I realised that the deeper your knowledge of a
culture that is not your own, the better you understand yourself and
the world in general. I think that studying Japan has not only
brought me a lot of knowledge about that country but a whole new way
of looking at Marxism, religion, post-industrial society, etc. In
short, I feel that I know more about the way that the world works
the more I study Japan.... In addition, Japanese movies and novels
give me a lot of pleasure and one of the best reasons to study
Japanese history is to gain a better understanding of Japanese
popular culture.
I've lived in Kanazawa in Ishikawa prefecture. This time, I'm going
to stay in Izumo in Shimane prefecture for a few months. I've done a
lot of travel in Japan. I've been to every prefecture aside from
Gunma and Yamagata. I should be able to get up to Yamagata during
this next trip I'm planning....
User | Report Abuse
>Sounds like a good deal if your interest is also your source of

income.
My thoughts exactly.
>Are >they Canadian or Japanese universities? I read one of your
other posts >that >mentioned you were from Canada.
I've studied at Canadian and Japanese schools and I'm doing my PhD
down under (I like to travel). Probably back to Japan for the
postdoc (350,000 yen a month buys a lot of DVDs....)
>Thanks for the recommendations. I would say Sonatine is possibly my
favourite >Japanese film, although some of the Kurosawa stuff is
great too. Lost >interest in Ghibli films, but Naoshika is still my
favourite.
Fair enough. Sonatine is a very good movie. I think that it is
hilarious. Beat Takeshi brings a real energy to the screen. Nausicaa
of the Valley of the Wind is also a fine film. The Japanese DVD set
with a commentary track by Anno of Evangelion fame is due out in a
few weeks....
>You liked Battle Royale? I thought it was junk. Fair enough.
I think that Battle Royale is one of the 10 best Japanese films of
the past 10 years. I can see why a lot of people don't like it but I
thought that the visuals were very strong and the way that the
director developed the relationships between the young characters
was also great. The movie really hit a nerve in Japan and got
considerable critical and audience acclaim (aside from sparking
protests from conservatives). I think that the reason that Japanese
audiences had such a strong reaction to it was that the behaviour of
the characters in this extreme situation is very easy to relate to.
This is not such a big thing for foriegn audiences (I've talked to
some people in NAmerica who find the reactions of the characters
confusing or "unrealistic"). In the end, the movie was done by
Fukasaku Kinji who did Jingi Naki Tatakai and what is probably the
best Japanese war film - Gunki Hatametu Motoni. These movies broke
real ground in terms of criticism of Japanese society and in
depictions of violence back in the 1970's (they caused the same kind
of explosion of interest in Japan that movies like "The Exorcist"
and "Clockwork Orange" or to a lesser extent "The French Connection"
caused in the USA)and I think that Battle Royale managed to do the
same in 2000. It is not without its problems but it does manage to
get to the bottom of a lot of social issues - teen violence,
bullying, problems with education, economic / pension problems and
the connections between adult and youth society - and does it in a
way that is best described as black humour. A rare type of film but
not for everyone I guess.
As for Juon, I have not seen it yet. I'll probably get it because
its popularity (I like to follow Japanese audience tastes) and I
like horror movies in general.

by - sucresemoule (Fri Aug 22 2003 05:34:12 ) Ignore
So you must be a troll because you follow the Way of the troll !
by - Mithandir (Fri Aug 22 2003 09:55:07 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I know it's a bit off topic, but as I can see this board has already
switched to general discussion about films and books, so i'll allow

myself to ask penneym two ( probably silly :) ) questions... I know
very little about japaneese culture and my interes in it is only
general, so please don't laugh :)
From previous posts we can clearly see what books/movies are _not_
good source of knowledge about samurais and so on... But what is?
Maybe some modern book summarizing the topic? Something I could
found in the library/bookshop/on the net? As i said, i am generally
interested in history and i of course dont expect i'll be "modern
samurai" :), but i'll gladly gain some reliable information...
My second question is, probably, even sillier - you surely read book
"Shogun" by James Clavell. Knowing that he his an american, and that
it is not historical but adventure book, what do you think about it?
I am asking becouse it is one of my favourite books, as fiction of
course, and i am very curious how far from any reality is it.

User | Report Abuse
>I know very little about japaneese culture and my interes in it is

only >general, so please don't laugh :)
Don't worry. I won't laugh. Japanese culture is my "thing" and I'm
sure that you have your own "thing" as well.
>From previous posts we can clearly see what books/movies are _not_
good >source of knowledge about samurais and so on... But what is?
Maybe some >modern book summarizing the topic? Something I could
found in the >library/bookshop/on the net? As i said, i am generally
interested in history >and i of course dont expect i'll be "modern
samurai" :), but i'll gladly gain >some reliable information...
Okay, most of the other posts (as well as my negative tone) came up
not because we were denying the chance of knowing anything about
samurai but rather becasue we were denying the fact that someone now
can claim to be following a long dead code that only existed becasue
of a set of very specific social realities. If you want to know more
about samurai instead of trying to be one, I'd say that you are on
the right track. In fact, it is a great attitude. I think that you
would be well served by a good, general history as well as some
primary sources. For a general history there are a lot of books out
there to pick from.... Maybe Conrad Totman's history of Japan is a
good place to start. He gives a good synthesis of the
English-language scholarship. You shoud follow this up by reading
Hiroaki Sato's "Legends of the Samurai" which consists of (well)
translated primary historical material (ie. bits of old warrior
chronicles, works of philosophy, etc.). I think that if you read
both of these books, you will have a good understanding of who the
samurai were and the type of society that they lived in. There are
plenty of other good books out there for you to look into once you
have the basic idea. I'd suggest turning to the bibliographies of
the two books that I suggested for a good start. You can follow up
on any periods, people, wars, etc. that you find interesting.
>My second question is, probably, even sillier - you surely read
book "Shogun" >by James Clavell. Knowing that he his an american,
and that it is not >historical but adventure book, what do you think
about it? I am asking >becouse it is one of my favourite books, as
fiction of course, and i am very >curious how far from any reality
is it.
Well, as fun as Shogun is as fiction, it really does not have much
to do with the facts. I think that Clavell was not only taking a lot
of historical license, he was just plain ignorant in a lot of ways.
His view of the way that Japanese relate to one another is very
cliche, a real product of the 1980's and the prejudices of that
time. This is not only my attitude but Japanese audiences as well as
notable Western critics had the same reaction. However, one of the
best things about the book is that it encourages people like
yourself to go out and look into the actual history of the period.
If you want to read a good article about the flaws in Shogun, pick
up a copy of Yoshikawa Eiji's "Musashi" in English translation.
There is an essay about the flaws by an ex-harvard prof and
ex-ambassador to Japan (how are those for credentials?). In
addition, "Musashi" (a slanted vision of history but one that
achieves basic material accuracy at the very least) is also a hell
of a good book about one of the most famous samurai in history.
In any case, good luck with your look into Japanese history, I'm
sure that you will have a good time with it.
by - grantohtani (Sat Aug 23 2003 20:57:23 ) Ignore
Nice try, buddy. My family actually came from samurai lineage. Feel
my homogeneous wrath!
by - Hoog (Tue Aug 26 2003 09:38:57 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Arent Samurais those guys who cut up the sushi at the restaurant?
Whoever wants to see Tom Cruise slice up the squids for 2 hours, God
bless'em! I guess if he threw some wasbi in a guys face that might
be cool, but other than that I dont really see what all the hype is
about.
FOR THE LAST TIME
by - tomoz22 (Tue Aug 26 2003 16:54:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
TOM CRUISE IS NOT PLAYING A SAMURAI!!!

Re: FOR THE LAST TIME
by - belacane (Tue Aug 26 2003 16:58:55 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Somehow I doubt that this will be the "last time" this topic comes
up.
by - urbanweight (Thu Aug 28 2003 13:58:49 ) Ignore
I have studied the History of the Samurai at a well known IV league

school. In my opinon, while it is possible for you to a) follow the
'way of the samurai' (bushido) and b) consider yourself a samurai,
in Japan this would not be the case for two reasons.
1) The bushido is an unwritten law. It has been developed out of
years of Samurai heritage. The writings that exist on bushido, such
as the Gorin no Sho, are largely written by samurai technichians who
are not real members of the samurai caste. As such, following the
bushido as it is written does not make you a samurai, just a
follower of a work that chooses to emulate or even exaggerate the
real bushido. I must point out to you that most of the written
bushido is largely false, as it is based on legend as opposed to
fact. It was in fact rare for samurais to commit harikiri or sepuku,
and not a single verifiable source indicates that it has ever
happened.
2) The samurai caste is exclusive. You must be born into it, as it
is much like the nobility. Unless you have samurai heritage, it
would be impossible for you to be recognized in Japan as being a
samurai. In fact, during the periods of Samurai rule following the
Heian period until the late Edo period, it would be illegal for you
to either imitate a samurai or carry a sword.
UW
User | Report Abuse
While I agree with you in general, ie. it is not possible for those
jackasses to go around calling themselves samurai, I think that some
parts of your post are a bit off -
>The writings that exist on bushido, such as the Gorin no Sho, are
largely >written by samurai technichians who are not real members of
the samurai caste.
Point 1 - Gorin no Sho is not about bushido.
Point 2 - Since Musashi was in the employ of the han centered on
Kumamoto, dosen't that make him a samurai? It sure did in the eyes
of his contemporaries and Japanese today.
>It was in fact rare for samurais to commit harikiri or sepuku, and
not a >single verifiable source indicates that it has ever happened.
That's seppuku BTW. It makes a difference when you say it in

Japanese. I've seen quite a few sources that verify that it
happened. In fact, there are even quite a few translated into
English. In fact, there are some Englishmen who witnessed seppuku in
the 1850's and 1860's and wrote home about it. I'm not in the mood
to start a list but I'll suggest some readings is anyone wants to
see it.
>The samurai caste is exclusive. You must be born into it, as it is
much like >the nobility. Unless you have samurai heritage, it would
be impossible for >you to be recognized in Japan as being a samurai.
In fact, during the periods >of Samurai rule following the Heian
period until the late Edo period, it >would be illegal for you to
either imitate a samurai or carry a sword.
Point 1 - What about Hideyoshi? Wasn't the most powerful samurai
ever born the son of a woodcutter?
Point 2 - During Kamakura and Muromachi countless peasants were
given samurai status. "Samurai" was pretty much all about
landholding relationships during this time.
Point 3 - In the Edo period you could still be adopted into a
samurai family and gain samurai status that way. In addition, lots
of commoners were given the special privilage of being allowed to
carry a sword and before 1588 there was no legal proscription, in
fact, many regional lords encouraged peasants to keep arms and areas
of the country under religious rule like Kaga relied on armed
commoners for defence.
BTW, don't you mean that the samurai class WAS exclusive? All of
this discussion is moot because "samurai" was essentially a legal
position or title in Japanese society that was done away with in the
1870s.
by - z_zen (Thu Aug 28 2003 21:17:01 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Your posts are really informative and interesting. Thanks.

Though I think jmagnolia is just fooling around and having fun ... I
have to say, I've never laughed so much reading a thread.
User | Report Abuse
>Your posts are really informative and interesting.
Thanks.
>Though I think jmagnolia is just fooling around and having fun ...
I have to >say, I've never laughed so much reading a thread.
I don't know. I have a hard time thinking that anyone could be
serious about something like that. If he was pulling our collective
leg, he sure did a damn good job. However, if he was joking, why did
he take off and refuse to reveal his master (if I was joking around
I'd probably say that my master was Mr. T or something....)?
A Zatoichi fan, huh? Hear about the new one? I'm heading to Japan
next week so I'll be able to see it opening weekend (^_^)
by - belacane (Fri Aug 29 2003 06:35:40 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
His master is probably either a girl, or someone he's bound to

consider in an authority role (dad, boss), or some other
embarrassing thing.
Still having fun on this thread, though!
D.
User | Report Abuse
How many Americans wake up every morning thinking about dying for
their boss compared to how many wake up thinking about killing their
boss (^_^)
In any case, Mr. T is my lord and I'm sticking with it. I pity the
foo who don't bow down before my lord T.
yes, don't get the hair though...
by - z_zen (Fri Aug 29 2003 16:12:12 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
UPDATED Fri Aug 29 2003 16:20:52
I saw the trailers for the new Zatoichi film, don't really
understand the blond hair though ...
A couple of other films that I've been interested in, and haven't
seen:
"Twilght Samurai"
"When the Last Sword is Drawn"
If you've seen these, I'd be interested in hearing your comments.
Also, there was some discussion above regarding whether samurais
actually committed seppuku. As I understand it, the "47 Ronin" story
was based on a historical event, and all 47 were ordered to do so.
[Post deleted]

Re: yes, don't get the hair though...
User | Report Abuse
>I saw the trailers for the new Zatoichi film, don't really
understand the >blond hair though ...
I don't have any idea, I don't know much about the plot, we'll just
have to wait and see.
>A couple of other films that I've been interested in, and haven't
seen:
>"Twilght Samurai"
>"When the Last Sword is Drawn"
>If you've seen these, I'd be interested in hearing your comments.
The titles don't ring a bell. I'll see what they are in Japanese and
get back to you if I have seen them.
>Also, there was some discussion above regarding whether samurais
actually >committed seppuku. As I understand it, the "47 Ronin"
story was based on a >historical event, and all 47 were ordered to
do so.
Indeed. There are a wide variety of documentary sources relating to
that incident. There is clearly quite a good "paper trail" from
which to approach seppuku.
User | Report Abuse
I have not heard when Zatoichi will be released in NA but I assume

that it will be. Beat Takeshi's films have quite a cult following
over here and he not only stars in this one but is the director as
well. I think that he even wrote the script. It should really be
something. In any case, I am a lucky bastard, ain't I? (^_^)
User | Report Abuse
Okay. I have not yet seen Twilight Samurai. It goes look interesting
but I'm not a big Yamada Yoji fan so I'm not sure how it will turn
out.
User | Report Abuse
I just looked at Jmagnolia's post history and it seems like he went

over on the Seven Samurai board and said that he found the movie to
be an insult because of the way that it dealt with Bushido. He had
BETTER be joking.
by - DesperateIcon (Sat Aug 30 2003 11:07:14 ) Ignore
UPDATED Sat Aug 30 2003 20:37:32
Did any one miss the part where he said he was getting his own place
soon? Won't it be great to practice his samurai ways without his
mama always nagging him about keeping the noise down...
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a
bar last night, the sound wasn't on, but I think I get the gist of
it.

by - Fisherguy (Sat Aug 30 2003 14:31:31 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Somebody put this guy out of his misery, for someone that is such a
diligent(spelling?) samurai he sure posts a lot and watches a lot of
samurai movies.
User | Report Abuse
Nice to see that someone else picked up on this. A "real" samurai

would be too busy serving the lord to waste time posting on IMDB
(^_^) Gotta disagree with you on the samurai movies, however, I
don't think that our "real American bushi" has seen very many.
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Sat Aug 30 2003 19:47:56

User | Report Abuse
Yeah, a walk on in the villiage scene, right? Pretty cool stuff. I

think that it was his first movie work. He has been in MANY great
movies. Ranks right up there with Mifune in my books.
by - heyoan (Sat Aug 30 2003 23:03:39 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am an actual descendant of samurai, the closest thing to a "real

samurai". Not that it matters at all. You're just being a silly
troll but you're more embarassing than entertaining. A "real
samurai" would not have to go around bragging that they are one.
Isn't part of the Bushido code humility?
by - taybme (Thu Sep 4 2003 19:51:35 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
You will soon have your own place? So right now you are a 28 year
old "authentic" samurai who lives with his parents? LOL. Classic.
[Post deleted]

by - urbanweight (Fri Sep 5 2003 06:49:52 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Okay okay I'm now forced to defend myself.

The Gorin No Sho is specifically about fencing, but extolls the
virtues of the Bushido. Mushashi was NOT a samurai in the formal
sense, but considered himself one because he taught many of the arts
associated with the samurai class and was given a lower samurai
position that translates roughly to 'technichian'. Historians
consider Mushashi and the Gorin No Sho the first mark of a) a time
of peace and stability in which the samurai arts became less
utilitarian and therefore studiable by outsiders and b) the first of
the fakir samurai, who waxed endlessly about the 'bushido', but
largely recorded fictive embroidery on the samurai legend rather
than fact. He was also one of the first to start kendo/fencing
schools.
Seppuku (I used harikiri because many westerners are not familiar
with the correct term) and Junshi have never been recorded in a
manner which satisfies historians. The closest non-legendary
reference to seppuku is in the Night of the 47 Samurai, which
derives from a legal document, but the ritual suicide was not
recorded by an eye witness or any kind, just assumed. It is
suspected that at times Seppuku does happen, but happen more because
some samurai feel it neccesary to die like a samurai from the many
legends that litter Japan's history instead of dieing like most
other samurai do- in prison, poor, or from battle wounds. The single
acot of seppuku is debated because it is impossible to stab yourself
in the stomach and then drag the blade horizontally across your
width because the pain from the initial penetration will cause the
suicidie to immediately pass out. This is why Junshi is practiced,
as seen in the death of Mishima Yukio. It should also be noted that
the mysticism and method associated with seppuku only exists to
cover up the fact that seppuku (or, more often, normal suicide) was
practiced by the losing samurai who faced death or poverty anyway.
To reinforce: when seppuku WAS practiced, it was often not done in
the prescribed manner.
Toyotomi Hideyoshi was recruited in a very strange time, and rose to

power in a distinct way that was intirely owed to his tactical
saavy. He is an exception to the rule that the position of samurai
is inherited. Given the japanese inclination towards supporting the
underdog, many historians still question the actual origins of
Hideyoshi. It seems that the people prefer Benkei to a Minamoto
warlord.
It should be noted that the peasants were not given 'samurai'
status, but given the status of ashigaru. Ashigaru were lightly
armed (normally with a spear) peasant-soldiers that were used to
fill out the ranks of a depleted samurai army. Ashigaru could rise
through the ranks (like Hideyoshi, assuming his backstory is true)
through exceptional behaviour. This was not a common occurence.
Between 1467-77, (the Onin War or Era of Warring States), peasants
were armed. They would often go out and kill samurai for weapons to
sell or to arm themselves. During the Taira and Minamoto dynasties,
the peasants were forefully disarmed. This remained the case
throughout history, with exceptions occuring during wartime to
ensure the protection of food on the Shoen estates when the samurai
were elsewhere. In this case, the arms were carefully rationed and
then recollected. The reason for this was that the samurai were
acutely aware of their minority status in Japan, and therefore were
fearful of coup d'etats. As a result, they kept their arms to
themselves as much as possible.
Yes, fine, the samurai caste WAS exclusive. The samurais were
dissolved and eventually even outlawed when during the American
occupation. Nevertheless, the point is that the ancient samurai
caste was highly exclusive and therefore people like the person who
started this post would most likely have not made it in. It should
also be noted that there are no mentions of true samurai that are
foreign to japan due to Japan's extreme xenophobia and isolationist
practices.
Urbanweight
by - mysterywolf256 (Sat Sep 6 2003 13:34:19 ) Ignore
I have come to kill you. I am a man of peace. I am a Jedi. God has

told me to avenge the world!
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks
into mine."
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - master0fpuppets (Tue Sep 16 2003 18:08:15 ) Ignore
it's simple, and might have been mentioned somewhere on this page,
but I'll say it again...
If this guy is a "real Samurai" (if they still exist) he wouldn't be
mentioning it to anyone, let alone on a frigging internet message
board.
That would be like a capo in la famil (The Family/Mafia for those
that don't know that term) posting that he's involved... totally
against "the code", just as doing the same in the Samurai code would
be against said code.
This guy is just looking for attention, which he obviously got, and
will probably do this (or already has) a few hundred times.
Don't feed the trolls.
[Post deleted]

by - hallax3 (Thu Sep 18 2003 00:06:33 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I'm a jew... (which is just as relevent as being a Real American

Samurai). I can't fight or kill but i will manage your money for a
reasonable fee.
[Post deleted]

by - Coolmandafro (Thu Sep 18 2003 14:46:09 ) Ignore
I'm a real life samurai. did i spell samurai right. ok who am i

fooling i have no idea what a samurai is other than a guy who wears
armor and carry's a sword( an to my surprise its not even called a
sword. Isnt it funny how you say sword and its spelt S W O R D. lol
hah ha h ah aha ha aha aha the W is silent hey i am an American
though does this impress anybody.
Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't-Agent Sands

by - Mr_Vonsnickelhofen (Wed Sep 24 2003 12:49:25 )
How many Ninja have you killed?

by - penneym (Thu Sep 25 2003 19:28:21 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
The Gorin No Sho is specifically about fencing, but extolls the

virtues of the Bushido. Mushashi was NOT a samurai in the formal
sense, but considered himself one because he taught many of the arts
associated with the samurai class and was given a lower samurai
position that translates roughly to 'technichian'.
> Musashi was given a stipend and employed as a member of the
samurai class = a samurai.
He was also one of the first to start kendo/fencing schools.
> Not true, there were already 100`s of styles by Musashi`s day.
Seppuku (I used harikiri because many westerners are not familiar
with the correct term) and Junshi have never been recorded in a
manner which satisfies historians.
> What historians. How`s your Japanese? There are A LOT of records.
The closest non-legendary reference to seppuku is in the Night of
the 47 Samurai, which derives from a legal document, but the ritual
suicide was not recorded by an eye witness or any kind, just
assumed.
> Funny, the forced suicide of their master which touched the whole
thing off was recorded in nice detail....
It is suspected that at times Seppuku does happen, but happen more
because some samurai feel it neccesary to die like a samurai from
the many legends that litter Japan's history instead of dieing like
most other samurai do- in prison, poor, or from battle wounds. The
single acot of seppuku is debated because it is impossible to stab
yourself in the stomach and then drag the blade horizontally across
your width because the pain from the initial penetration will cause
the suicidie to immediately pass out. This is why Junshi is
practiced, as seen in the death of Mishima Yukio.
> Junshi just means suicide at the death of a lord (obvious from the
kanji that are used) which is not what Mishima did.... Junshi
happened so often that it was outlawed by the government.... How`s
that for records.... In any case, I think that you are talking about
using a Kaishakunin....
It should also be noted that the mysticism and method associated
with seppuku only exists to cover up the fact that seppuku (or, more
often, normal suicide) was practiced by the losing samurai who faced
death or poverty anyway. To reinforce: when seppuku WAS practiced,
it was often not done in the prescribed manner.
> It sure as hell was when the bakufu were using it as a method of
execution.
Toyotomi Hideyoshi was recruited in a very strange time, and rose to
power in a distinct way that was intirely owed to his tactical
saavy. He is an exception to the rule that the position of samurai
is inherited.
> Which is why I used it to tear down your generalisation.
Given the japanese inclination towards supporting the underdog, many
historians still question the actual origins of Hideyoshi. It seems
that the people prefer Benkei to a Minamoto warlord.
> Which historians? The only book about him in English is Berry`s
Hideyoshi and she sure as hell dosen`t question the story. What
Japanese historians have been doing it? No mainstream ones
anyway....
It should be noted that the peasants were not given 'samurai'
status, but given the status of ashigaru. Ashigaru were lightly
armed (normally with a spear) peasant-soldiers that were used to
fill out the ranks of a depleted samurai army. Ashigaru could rise
through the ranks (like Hideyoshi, assuming his backstory is true)
through exceptional behaviour. This was not a common occurence.
> What about the earlier period during the formation of the class in
late Heian and early Kamakura? Many people of the non aristocratic
classes wound up as samurai. A lot of the Edo rank and file ended up
coming from the Ashigaru as well which is more of a word like
`infantry` is in English. It does not suggest any type of class
status.
Between 1467-77, (the Onin War or Era of Warring States), peasants
were armed. They would often go out and kill samurai for weapons to
sell or to arm themselves. During the Taira and Minamoto dynasties,
the peasants were forefully disarmed. This remained the case
throughout history, with exceptions occuring during wartime to
ensure the protection of food on the Shoen estates when the samurai
were elsewhere. In this case, the arms were carefully rationed and
then recollected. The reason for this was that the samurai were
acutely aware of their minority status in Japan, and therefore were
fearful of coup d'etats. As a result, they kept their arms to
themselves as much as possible.
> The seperation of the classes came in 1588 with Hideyoshi`s
katana-gari edict. The rest of this is fantasy.
Yes, fine, the samurai caste WAS exclusive. The samurais were
dissolved and eventually even outlawed when during the American
occupation. Nevertheless, the point is that the ancient samurai
caste was highly exclusive and therefore people like the person who
started this post would most likely have not made it in. It should
also be noted that there are no mentions of true samurai that are
foreign to japan due to Japan's extreme xenophobia and isolationist
practices.
> Will Adams is considered to be a samurai because of his employment
by Ieyasu and the Japanese like him just fine. Where are you getting
this stuff anyway?
[Post deleted]

by - thecaller24 (Sat Sep 27 2003 20:22:31 ) Ignore
UPDATED Sun Sep 28 2003 15:19:45
Ok hello every1. I only like half read this message board but w/e i
kinda got the jist of what you guys are talking bout. welll let me
say this.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
WAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. THERE ARE NO MORE SAMURAIS,
especially one in america. Also, you could be one of those want to
be samuria fanatics with no lives what so ever and follow that bull
*beep* book called "The Way of the Samurai," No matter how much you
want it to be, anyone who wants to be a samurai, its not gonna
happen you jackass. Who the hell started this message board. He is
the biggest jackass of them all. Hey heres a hint for you, stop
trying to be something your not or never will be and get a girl
friend. Wow.
Also, just for the record. I don't know how right I am but this
could be true. I heard that people where feared by samurais. They
were the meanest people ever. They really didn't stick to their
code. They would even kick a wounded dog. And ill say it again i
don't know how right I am, so just check with that scholar guy. Yea
he seems to know his stuff.
That was my two sense.
Oo yea all u wanna b samurais, you people are just stupid virgins
alright. God get a life.
by - penneym (Sat Sep 27 2003 20:28:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
First off, I`m pretty sorry for being so rude in my last post. It is
just that I don`t like it when I look at these documents all the
time and people just say = there are no such thing. Notice that in
his comeback, the dude did not mention the Western accounts that I
made reference to? Nor did he talk about all of the merchants who
bought samurai status in the Edo period. He also finished off with a
comment about the Japanese as xenophobes. True in certain contexts
but generalisation like that are never good and always piss me off.
In any case, I was writing on a 3 minute time limit last time out so
I did not have time to define some of the Japanese words that I was
using. Kaishakunin were just what you said. Junshi is when a master
dies and his retainers follow him in death by suicide. The `Jun` in
Junshi is the same `Jun` in `Junkyosha` which is what the Japanese
call Christian martyrs.
Harakiri is a VERY great movie. I would suggest that you check out
some of dir. Kobayashi Maasaki`s other movies as well as I am sure
that you will be impressed. `Samurai Rebellion`, `The Human
Condition` and `Kaidan` are good places to start.
[Post deleted]

by - spacemonkey4life (Sun Sep 28 2003 21:33:29 )
i must say its a great pleasure of mine to come and straighten all
of u guys out. and i am very well backing up the caller24 hes got
his *beep* straight keep up the goo d work slugger. anyways if u
wanna b samurias would wake up and realize that u will not and
cannot ever be as cool as a real samurai or someone else potraying a
samurai. what all of u should do is go ahead and get laid once or
tiwce (maybe more for u real nig losers out there, u know who u r)
and join the new american cult, FIGHT CLUB. if u dont understand
what im saying go read the book and watch the movie and if by then u
dont want to blow up your own house, kill yourself. that is the only
code i live by the code of fight club and to a greater extent the
code of chuck palahniuk (author of fight club for all of u
illiterate critons who practice w/ your samuria swords).
you are all part of the same compost heap-tyler durden
ps does anyone happen to know if this movie is based on a true story
or not? maybe u do samurai guy magnolia whatever the *beep* u call
yourself
by - thecaller24 (Mon Sep 29 2003 17:09:19 ) Ignore
Yea what he said. And don't forget it. Cause hes cool unlike u wanna
b samurais.
by - thecaller24 (Mon Sep 29 2003 19:21:22 ) Ignore
Soooo ummmm anyone feel like talking about ancient Jappanese

history. Yea I know it sounds a little geaky or whatever, but I do
have some information to throw around.
by - shimmentakezo (Mon Sep 29 2003 22:11:46 ) Ignore
hello jmagnolia
I was responding to your challenge for dueling anyone
I accept your challenge I live in North Carolina I would be willing
to meet you halfway if you are indeed interested.Would you prefer
shinai, bokken, or sword to sword?...And if sword to sword would you
prefer traditional with the daisho? Please respond and we could work
out the details.
Thank You
by - Da_BumbleBee (Mon Sep 29 2003 22:36:01 ) Ignore
Man I am about to call the looney bin because there are definately a
lot of people here who shouldn't be allowed to walk around in
public.
by - Da_BumbleBee (Mon Sep 29 2003 22:39:52 ) Ignore
Man I am about to call the looney bin because there are definately a
lot of people here who shouldn't be allowed to walk around in
public.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - red_goat (Tue Sep 30 2003 00:43:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Yes I must confess. I too am a real life samurai. My master is Jack

Daniels of Tennessee. You might have heard of him, for he is all
powerful; many have fallen victim to his great and aw inspiring
might. I too wish to follow in his foot steps, but alas I am no
where near his level of enlightenment, so until then I will train
every night .
It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
-Pete Clemenza
by - thecaller24 (Wed Oct 1 2003 19:27:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Holy *beep* shimmentakezo wat the hell is wrong with you. You are
kidding me right. Wow you got serious probs man. Who agrees with me.

by - resistance01 (Thu Oct 2 2003 14:12:36 ) Ignore
As a real life ninja I will have to kill you from the shadows.
Seriously, I respect that you follow the Bushido, but you can't say
that you are a Samurai. You might follow a Samurai philosophy, but
you aren't a Samurai.
by - SpeakerForTheDead (Thu Oct 2 2003 14:18:53 )
You know, this jmagnolia dude seems kinda familiar.

I mean, thier must be plenty of these moronic assjackal's roaming
around in IMDB, but i think i was reading some other deutshe-bag's
scriblings about being a "REAL LIFE SAMURAI" but this guy was saying
he was like a 38 year old dock worker. He was probably lurking
around either a Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai thread, or another one
of these threads. Ill have to look in to it. Who knows, maybe ill
find jmagnolia a life partner.
by - thecaller24 (Thu Oct 2 2003 14:45:41 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Ok that i agree wit. You can follow some sort of philosophy, but
your not a samurai unless:
1. You live and are from Japan
2. Your father was a samurai
3. You live in the 1300's-1860's

by - penneym (Thu Oct 2 2003 18:27:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I can fairly say that most samurai movies from the best - Seven
Samurai to funky stuff like Lone Wolf and Cub and Hissatsu play up
this theme. A lot of Americans are into the romance of the samurai
but many Japanese directors have chosen to play up the abuses of
feudal society (which often serves as a symbol of corruption at
present). Just look at Mononoke Hime, the most popular `samurai`
movie in Japan in decades and you will see what I mean.
[Post deleted]

by - flask (Mon Oct 27 2003 01:40:37 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
You must be one great samurai to go around boasting you are one.
by - thecaller24 (Tue Oct 28 2003 13:59:45 ) Ignore
lol thats funny who sent that in
[Post deleted]

by - brett_callinan (Wed Oct 29 2003 15:22:53 ) Ignore
Man this guy is really a Samurai, his ego slays me.

by - whelanc (Thu Oct 30 2003 11:06:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Can I be a samurai, too? Where do I sign up?

What's the membership fee? Do I get a monthly newsletter telling me
what all the famous samurais are up to?
Let's start a more productive thread...
onon

by - shaidarharan (Sun Nov 2 2003 01:14:06 ) Ignore
jmagnolia came out of the closet to say "I am 28, have my own job
and will soon have my own place."
The funny thing is this sounds the most japanese out of all of his
posts, well, this statement and the many english misspellings (it's
common & acceptable for jap males to live with their parents until
they're married (before 30 years old) and the way jmagnolia sounds,
he's not getting married anytime soon).
I was born into a rear, i mean real samurai family, and i consider
myself an actual, real-life computer cowboy, a cyber samurai (god I
hate hackers). Joking aside, I wish crazy had been put into my brain
so I could act what my blood truely is.
by - gottfrid (Mon Nov 3 2003 09:16:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Well, good to hear that you are a samurai... I myself am a vampire

hunter... I go out at night in cool outfit wearing oakleys and
leather jackets, and kill most of the bloodsuckers I can find. The
only exeception is when the vampire happens to be a beatiful girl,
and in that case I try and heal them, with the knowledge Ive
acquired with dozens of years of practice. And Im white, although
most hunters I know are of african-american extraction...
by - Sildantar (Tue Nov 4 2003 07:37:09 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am Neo, and there is no spoon.

by - El_Durango (Wed Nov 5 2003 22:27:07 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Ok, but do you do birthdays??

My little cousin would love to have a real samurai at his party!
[Post deleted]

by - night1130 (Sat Nov 8 2003 11:21:15 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I wish i could say something serious but we dont need that in a
comedy like this.
Mr. jmagnolia, true samuraies dont just jump into a message board
and shouting "I AM A REAL SAMURAI, FACE IT OR TAKE A DUEL WITH
ME!!", thats all different from the spirit.
I wonder what will Mr.J do when there goes a new ninja movie.
"As an actual, real-life ninja........"
by - hallax3 (Mon Nov 10 2003 06:34:30 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Mon Nov 10 2003 06:35:13
Or when Kangaroo Jack 2 comes out:

As an actual, real life Marsupial

by - golfnut801 (Mon Nov 10 2003 10:31:46 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I have never laughed so hard since John Belushi's cheeseburger,

cheeseburger, cheeseburger...whooooahhhhh!
by - ChishioNoTenshi (Mon Nov 10 2003 12:10:17 ) Ignore
Anatagata wa baka desu!!

by - Obi-Norm (Mon Nov 10 2003 13:26:28 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
After reading most of this thread, I can only say (or write,
actually) that I'm disappointed. So very, very disappointed. I mean,
what's-his-name is working so hard at keeping alive the
defunct-for-generations order of the samurai, and no one is doing
anything to honor the memory of the Templars. Or the Greek hoplites.
Or the Persian Immortals. Or the Gungan slingers. Oh wait... never
mind that last one.
----------------
Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative! -
Scream
Obi-Norm
by - ArN999 (Mon Nov 10 2003 20:54:53 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I didn't have the courage to read all these posts but man, you live
in a fantasy world . if it suits you fine , but aaaa whatever just
try to live in the real world with the rest of us, you 'll see ,
it's quite enjoyable
No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.
How is it that a real-life samurai...

by - wapoe (Mon Nov 10 2003 22:20:26 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
...is concerned with personal noteriety enough to boast his

distinctions on the Internet? Are samurai of words or of actions?
Walk in the shadow of leaves, friend.
by - bgart5 (Tue Nov 11 2003 20:38:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Tue Nov 11 2003 20:44:42
"Recently I heard the saying: "Often, silence is the best answer". I

will refrain from the wisdom in that statement by calling you an
idiot."
LOL!!!
by - Asur18 (Wed Nov 12 2003 01:41:44 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
this guy is so funny...

"Look at us...I'm frozen, you're dead...And I love you!"
by - CitronR (Wed Nov 12 2003 18:42:22 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I feel I should speak, as a Japanese culture nut, and someone who

idolizes the way of the Samurai.
jmagnolia: Were you a true follower of the path, you would not brag
about it, nor would you mention a duel. The Way, as I understand it,
is to help cease conflict, not propogate it.
thecaller24: You speak of getting a life, but you posted a
two-paragraph message about how you're better. Seems to me that if
you had this "life" of which you speak, you wouldn't have time to
feebly try and insult someone on the IMDB. But I'm certain you'll
just respond by calling me a n00b or a f4g, or something equally
weak, so I won't waste much more time.
Anyway, I'm better now. Thank you.
by - homiegesus (Wed Nov 12 2003 21:14:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I cant believe you guys get all worked up on the things jmagnolia
said i say this guy in seven samurai forum and he posted the same
exact thing.
As an actual, real-life samurai
He pissed off the same amount of people as in this one, he just
trying to have fun and see people get mad he doesint actually mean
all this stuff. A real samurai wouldint go into internet forums and
brag about it.
by - bang_bizaboom (Thu Nov 13 2003 08:31:45 ) Ignore
Im a real life Samurai. I follow a strict code of conduct derrived

from the Oksa Kuasko ( Way of the Sofa )I can hold my pee for more
than 10 hours, sleep for 12 hours, control people minds and
thoughts( im 31 and still live with my parents because they think
that they want me to) and go days without taking a shower. It has
taken me years to be come a Sofa Master and one day hope to become
the Sofa King.
How can we expect anyone to listen if we are using the same old
voice? We need a new noise.
Samurai Shmamurai
by - Banter (Thu Nov 13 2003 12:04:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
See, this is the kind of crap that happens when you try to turn Tom
Cruise into a samurai.
[Post deleted]

by - udt101 (Thu Nov 13 2003 19:53:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I personally know of one person who follows 'Bushido' or the Way of

the Samurai. He does not preach to be a samurai, and only brought it
up when our conversation topic altered to cover a man, Miyamoto
Musashi (a well known Samurai, author of the Book of Five Rings). He
only speaks about it when I ask him. He does not boast, try to
conform other people's opinions to match his own, nor does he pick
fights.
At the most, he'll attempt to educate one in the truth about topics
with which he is familiar. And he does not act high and might in
doing so, it is all very laid back when speaking with him. He trains
his mind and his body, and, as I mentioned before, does not try to
start stuff with people.
The original poster on this thread does not at all act like he
follows Bushido. I've not taken the time to read the entire thread,
but he seems very eager to start fights and gloat about his
knowledge. This is not noble.
The responders may practice their ignorance, but this should not
anger you. You should merely pity them and attempt to teach them
without being a little biatch. I doubt you follow Bushido very
closely.
To the rest of you all, it is my understanding that samurai is a
discipline and a social status. To be a samurai in their time, one
would have to be born into the class, or perhaps buy it much like
the knights in Europe in the middle ages, the 'noble' class. But one
may follow the Bushido discipline. Whether that makes them a samurai
or not is up for debate, but if you follow Christianity, does that
not make you a Christian?
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Thu Nov 13 2003 20:25:08

by - nofacefiend (Thu Nov 13 2003 20:23:23 ) Ignore
im pretty sure the title refers to the character Katsumoto...we all

know that the only real white bread samurai is richard
chamberlan...with his feathered 70s hairdoo...yeah i bought the
shogun dvd set...im a sucker for anything about japan...even though
the best part of the set is the interviews with the crew and hearing
all their ethnocentric quibbles with the japanese crew, because
hollywood is the pinnacle of movie making and they know it...if only
the japanese crew would know it.
by - nofacefiend (Thu Nov 13 2003 20:55:43 ) Ignore
christians follow the teachings of christ(or theyre suppose to) do

samurai follow the teachings of sam?
the fact of the matter is that a samurai is a position of birth
passed from father to son. women of a samurai family were expected
to act a certain way and marry within their class but they werent
samurai proper. in order to truly understand what it means to be
samurai you would have to have a deep understanding of the japanese
social fabric which is very different from the western world...in
the west we tend to value individuality while the greater good,
whether it be family, clan or country, is of primary importance in
japan. this simplistic example, of course, doesnt begin to scratch
the surface of a very complex and most often ritualized social
structure. the point is...if youre from anywhere other than japan
and youre not japanese, or havent been adopted by a japanese family
that can trace its ancestry to the samurai class then you are not a
samurai...you may be one hell of a worrior...you may be a kendo
master and follow the code of bushido to the letter everyday of your
life but you are not a samurai...the quicker you realize that the
sooner you will stop looking silly on inet msg boards
you are bringing great shame to your entire family by aspiring to a
social position higher than your birth. ;)
by - senor_coconuts (Fri Nov 14 2003 10:10:19 ) Ignore
I can't believe that someone who clearly knows so little of samurai

is claiming to be on on an internet message board. ahahahahahahaha,
what a tard.
AS someone mentioned before, samurai is a birth rite, only given to
select members of the japanese aristocracy. So unless your a member
of one of a few dozen japanese families, you aren't a samurai. And
bushido doesn't make you anything. Bushido is just like the european
code of chivalry. some piss poor english turnip farmer could
practice chivalry, that doesn't make him a knight! And ghost dog
wasn't a samurai, he just followed the code of bushido. He is LIKE a
samurai, not an actual samurai. Reading a copy of Roshomon doesn't
make you a samurai. Bushido is just a set of laws. Following our
laws doesn't make you a policeman does it? Samurai were the
protectors and followers of bushido, but even peasants tried to live
by that code. It means nothing in relation to whether your a samurai
or not.
So guess what, years of watching anime and attempting to practice
kendo doesn't make you a samurai. It makes you a japaphile. So
perhaps this post should be called "as a real life japaphile"
by - blau330i (Fri Nov 14 2003 13:01:41 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
First of all, to all the samurai warriors out there: I'm glad you
all own katanas and know how to take it out of the sheath, but I
have a Glock-19 9mm. You have to wake up pretty early in the morning
to take me out, brotha. Just remember that the way of the sword
vanished from the realm of warfare by the way of the firearm. Also,
don't mess with me because I practice the Code of the Remote
Control. I'll *beep* you up by throwing it at you.
Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo and especially Sanjuro were all
semi-parodies of the jidai-geki (i.e. "period") films that were
flourishing during the 1950's and 1960's Japanese cinema which were
glorifying the ideas of bushido (especially the movie Sanjuro, where
the nine young samurai blundering through, following the bushido
code to the teeth). I am a little uncomfortable when people use
Seven Samurai as THE movie regarding samurai, but if you watch the
story carefully, it is a movie about class warfare. At the end,
Shimura's character states that it is the poor farmers who've won,
and they've lost.
Way of the samurai? I have to admit, I have to laugh at people who
read these books like the Hagakure or whatever and believe strongly
that this is how these warriors behaved. These were the ideals
handed down by those samurai in power to control their underlings.
The historical way of the samurai was about power and acquiring
power by any means necessary, which in those days meant bloodshed
and deceit, betrayal after betrayal. Kurosawa's Throne of Blood and
Ran are more accurate portrayals of their behavior. Not that these
behaviors were out of the ordinary for any culture during that time.
It was either kill or be killed. One was fighting for survival,
always.

by - bobbyh64 (Fri Nov 14 2003 19:42:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LoL yeah I agree. These guys are funny calling themselves samurai. I
like that post about the guy who said he was a real life super hero.
OMG LOL yeah dude you're a samurai and my left testicle is a
hamster.
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by - scooptheloop (Sun Nov 16 2003 20:07:33 ) Ignore
Christ, I've never heard a bigger load of bollocks in my entire

life. Get a grip on reality, dude. Oh, and a life while you're at
it.
by - DrCRM (Sun Nov 16 2003 21:34:43 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
So, penneym, do you already work at Blockbuster, or is that your

next occupational step?
by - the43rdgunslinger (Sun Nov 16 2003 21:55:34 )
*In the words of Johnny Storm* "FLAME ON!"

by - SamuraIAm (Mon Nov 17 2003 02:58:58 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I understand what you are saying here. I have a NiDan in Kenjitsu

and a ShoDan in Kyujitsu. I have fought people with my sword in real
fights not to the death because people get rather frightened when
they see someone twirling a sword like a helicopter at them, no
matter if they have a baseball bat, nunchakus, or a gun in my cases.
I own guns myself and they have their place. As the guy mentioned
about the gun. People assume that if you have a gun and the opponent
has a sword the swordsman is dead. Reality, and I have been in this
situation, you will not likely get a good shot nor even concentrate
to aim well enough. You are pitting a weapon that shoots a straight
line and has only millimeters of width against a 30" long razor that
no matter where it hits you, you are going to bleed to death at
least. It is a whole different matter when you are up against the
real thing. I guarantee you, you may have a pistol and stand on one
end of a football field and me on another, you might get close to me
in your shots, I will hit you with my arrow. Since most gun battles
are withing 20 feet you better be a pro shooter because you will
only get one shot. And even if I am hit, there is no guarantee I
will stop coming. In the case of the baseball bat, that was easy.
For some reason this indivdual thought I was someone else and wanted
to beat my head in. Dropping a 15 foot pine tree in front him

changed his mind. Nunchakus or "Num Chucks" is the absolute biggest
waste of a weapon I have ever seen. It is originally a bean smasher
that some idiot got the bright idea to make a weapon out of.
Unfortunately for the individual that thought they could beat me
with one found his string cut in half when I connected my sword mid
flight on his favorite technique. So what does all that prove?
Absolutely nothing. It just means I ran into idiots that thought it
was cute to take on someone that had a sword.
As far as the Bushido code and the Samarai thing. You got to expect
to get ripped by people when you make claims to that. I am not a
Samarai by no means. My screen name is SamaraIAm because I thought
was cute for this. SamIam was taken. Samarai means slave or servent
transliterated in English, thats all. There is no honor or meaning
into it. It is just like the colored belts used in the martial arts.
This was a mythology created to keep people motivated that they are
getting somewhere and paying for the schooling. Kendo and Kyudo do
not use belts in reality just the ranking system. And that ranking
is only to place you skill wise with fellow students. Basically the
martial arts is about survival and winning. That is all. Strip away
the personal myth and that is all there is to it. Did Musashi have
honor when he killed that 13 year old boy, or hid in the woods all
day waiting for his opponent to tire and then easily killing him. It
is about winning right or wrong. The mythology or Bushido code was
created to keep people that are well trained in weapons from killing
everyone.
I hope I never have to take on someone in a confrontation again. It
isnt nice and even if you win, there is always a relative that will
come back after you. That 13 year old Musashi killed, was seeking
revenge for his father who Musashi killed months earlier. So dont
let these people get you down, the mythology has it's place. It
gives you a peace in a rather violent and ruthless sport. But I
would recommend that you dispense with letting people know you are a
Samarai. Keep that part to yourself and like-minded people.
If it makes you feel any better, note that most things are myths.
Most of what people tell themselves to get by in their jobs,
religions etc. are mostly myths. Let me give you some examples:
Catholics were started by a Roman conquerer by the name of
Constantine 325ad, he needed a new belief system to sway the people
of Rome. Christianity was getting very popular so he called himself
a christian and formed a new religion to parallel the already
growing Christian movement.
Mormons were founded by a known sex offender by the name of Joe
Smith. Joe was killed by citizens that broke into a jail where he
had been arrested and their motivation was they were tired of his
orgy cult. Brigham Young his second in command, took command and
lead the remaining followers to Utah. There upon he sent his devoted
follower John D. Lee to kill 100 settlers to take their land. John
D. Lee was convicted and hung for the mountain meadows massacre, the
mormons got to keep the land somehow.
Jehovah's Witnesses were founded by a convicted swindler by the name
of Charles Russell. In the mid 1800s he used to sell wheat for a
dollar a pound calling it miracle wheat. After being sued many times
for cons, he embarked on religion. Somehow he managed to keep his
religion intact even after making the infamous blunder where he said
Jesus would come in 1914. He lost 30% of his membership over that.
Islamic faith states it is ok to have sex with animals in the Koran.
It is also their religion to wipe out all infadels. That means
anyone who is not muslim and born of certain race.
In reality, each one of these religions has very smart people. I
would say there is a bigger majority of them that are smarter than
me. So how would I know their myths and they do not. Because I use
myths to socialize not depend my life on. It is just a matter of
information. It is the difference in Kendo and Kenjitsu. Kendo is
the mythology and practice of sword fencing. Kenjitsu is the art of
strategy. You may be faster, stronger but most likely I will would
win in a sword fight. The short answer is I know you operate on
Bushido mythologies which will guide/limit what you will/can do. I
will know these and beat you everytime. Same thing in other
mythologies of life. If you tell me you are an evolutionist, I will
have information detremental to your belief in apes. Does not mean
you will not have certain facts, just maybe not objectively
understood. You may have got the formal eduction Phd etc which is
the "Kendo" of your knowledge, but I will come with "Kenjitsu" the
understanding of key things that will help me win. In the case of
the evolutionist, their formal education is their mythology,
therfore is their weakness.
I belive the Bible myself but I also know there are mythologies in
it. No matter what religion you are, mormon, catholic, baptist,
muslim, evolutionist, Samarai Bushido, if it serves the purpose you
need in life and makes you happy than ok. I am not really downing
anyone of any belief system. Simply stating facts that if we all
examine our beliefs and even the way we talk, we can all be made fun
of easily. We might even be embarassed by some of the things we
adhere too. I dont have all the answers, not even a couple. I just
know some interesting factoids and know that anyone can be made a
fool of. To prove my point the replies of this post are going to rip
me to shreds over every part of this thing. I am sure particularly
the religion part. But that is ok, maybe I am totally wrong. All I
know is people loose their skeptibility real quick and become fast
believers when faced with certain risk. It is so easy to rip this
naive "Samarai" person and me from the safety of your keyboards.
I am ready, give me my severe beating!!!!
[Post deleted]

Re: Begun: This Cultural Exploitation has
by - senor_coconuts (Mon Nov 17 2003 10:29:12 ) Ignore
UPDATED Mon Nov 17 2003 10:32:34
I like how the guy 2 posts aboves ruins his entire 6 paragraph rant
by calling bushido a religion, and comparing it to christianity and
islam. LOL.
Bushido is a social code. That's like calling your state charter a
religion. Bushido were laws, you were just expected to enforce them
yourself if you were a samurai. BUSHIDO IS NOT A RELIGION. Samurai's
religions were either buddhist or shinto, and Bushido was just a set
of laws or social codes they followed, certainly not a religion.
Soldiers follow the martial code, does that make teh martial code a
religion? Is westpoint a school of religious studies? Heck no. Thats
retarded.

by - SamuraIAm (Mon Nov 17 2003 13:16:49 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
It's called personal mythology whether it be religion, codes, rules,
laws whatever. You missed the point by 100 million miles.
by - highlanderj456 (Tue Nov 18 2003 01:10:09 ) Ignore
Holy delusions of adequacy!!! Get of of your mothers basement and go

throw a football around!
by - SamuraIAm (Tue Nov 18 2003 10:31:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I apologize if it sounding slamming. I just find it funny after

being in the martial arts for 22 years people try to explain
Bushido, Ki, Jitsu etc. from their book knowledge.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Nicole01 (Wed Nov 19 2003 08:51:45 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
The lack of tolerance and the high level of ignorance, not to

mention the apparent disregard for the English language, I have seen
on this long post is absolutely horrendous. So JMagnolia thinks he's
a samauri. Who are we to say he's not? He's not hurting anyone,
although I have to say, he opened himself up to a lot of BS by
posting his thoughts on this board in the first place. It seems to
me that if you risk posting anything on this board, you are
crucified. However, he is entitled to call himself Captain Underwear
if he wishes, and I don't see it as my place to question him. In my
opinion, it is not acceptable to beat someone up and make fun of
them just because you can hide behind the anonymity of a board.
I'd much rather he see himself as a Samauri and live a life
according to the code, than some wanna be web nerd who sits behind
his monitor and mocks everyone around him, or some wanna be gangsta
and run around with his pants hanging halfway down his butt.
by - SamuraIAm (Wed Nov 19 2003 11:00:46 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Exactly! Personal myth is important. It helps form what we are. Just

because myth is not "real" does not mean it does not become real.
Everything that has been built is because someone created the
perception of myth of what it could be. This, in my opinion is the
greatest country on earth. But the myth is that it is free. This
country has more laws governing every aspect of our life than any in
the world. However we absolute freedom incurs chaos. We live under
acceptable freedom.
People talk about Hitler killing 6 million people which was
horrible. But no one talks about Stalin killing 12 million, Mao
killing 40 million or our own country killing 30 million Indians.
Abe Lincoln is known for freeing the slaves however on the day he
signed the emancipation proclimation hung 30 Indians. His generals
wanted to hand 300 but Lincoln told them that was too many, he had
an important speech. Point is, it is all about myth. Despite
horrible things this country has done, it turned out pretty well in
my opinion. Reason is because people held the myth that things could
get better and they did. So if this young man wants to consider
himself a Samarai and the definitions of that is he has codes and
honor to live by, whatever floats his boat.
Thanks for the attitude adjustment. I think we all tend to get in a
feeding frenzy of judgement from a guiltless, gutless keyboard.

by - ExecuteDiCaprio (Wed Nov 19 2003 12:17:33 ) Ignore
For anyone who doesn't believe SamuraIAm is a sword weilding badass,

I personally saw him fight those hoodlums and I had a camera handy.
http://www.kongming.net/dw4/i/ss22.jpg
That was a pretty epic battle, wasn't it buddy?
[Post deleted]
Re: Penneym
by - slin2 (Wed Nov 19 2003 15:44:59 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I'm a real life Viking living in Southern California. I like pop and
dance music.
Re: Penneym
by - buckeye_movie_guy (Wed Nov 19 2003 16:24:07 )
There better be a good reason for free speech, because this sure
isn't next time one of yous posts on this thread, take a look at how
long it is and how you really don't talk about anything. You're just
like, wasting electricity. None of this has anything to do with the
movie either.
Bye the way, there are more Jedi's in England then Jews, according
to the last British census.
by - SamuraIAm (Wed Nov 19 2003 23:45:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I enjoyed that one!!! That was a funny picture.

There is no way to know whether someone is telling the truth or
making up crap. Nor does it matter anyway. To be perfectly honest, I
enjoy sword and archery. It never is like the movies though. The
fights are never epic, just short.
As far as Ninjas, the term just means assassin. That is all.
Typically Ninjas were Ronin (masterless ex-Samarai) that were paid
killers. They popped up all through Japanese history. They did not
get popularized in America until shortly after the martial arts
became legal again in Japan.
The other guy is right this has nothing to do with the movie and I
am wasting electricity. So far the previews look cool. However I
loved the previews to Kill Bill but my relatives tell me that movie
stunk. About the only martial art type movie I respect is "the
challenge". Toshiro Mifune did a great job and choreagraphy for
Kendo was done well. That was back when Steven Segall was the
choregrapher and not an actor.
If you have anymore scenes of me in epic battles let me know. Maybe
they will make a video game based on my battles. "Internet Movie
Database Swordman Chat Hero", or "Xeno - The Unix Warrior Admin"

by - dracwlya (Thu Nov 20 2003 10:03:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I don't have a problem with the concept of a caucasian Samurai. I

don't even have a problem with a person who styles themself a
samurai because of their love and fascination for Bushido,
especially if they conduct themselves and their lives to the limit
of their understanding of the idea.
What I do have a problem with is Tom Cruise, as anything. He can't
act. Never could, never will.
That's my only problem with the movie. It looked pretty cool when
you couldn't tell that it was Tom Cruise in the scenes.
by - Jedi Master Kahlin (Thu Nov 20 2003 12:36:29 )
I must say, some people here are rather unaccepting to other

individuals. If he choses to lead his life following the way of
Bushido and the Code of The Samurai, so be it. There are many
faithful followers of the code in this modern time, be it white,
black, yellow, or even purple for that matter. However, I do not
believe that it is in the way of life of a Samurai to publicly
advertise he is a samurai every chance he gets and claim himself to
be one. It is not the most humble of things to be doing. Nor do I
feel it is in their way to strike back with harsh words to an
individual and speak in a condescending manner to them. I feel that
both sides need to take a step back and put better thought into what
they are saying.
Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives
by - Nicole01 (Thu Nov 20 2003 13:46:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hear! Hear! Please note how JediMasterKahlin prefaces his statement

regarding a samauri publicly advertising he is a samauri with "I do
not believe..." rather than "he shouldn't" or "he can't". This is
one of the signs of a mature personality. He's not telling others
what to do, he's stating his opinions and his beliefs in a
constructive and adult manner.
I read these boards to enhance my knowledge, and thereby my
enjoyment, of a movie. Sometimes to get to the good stuff, you have
to read through a lot of tommyrot. I get frustrated with the wanna
be movie critics, and the people who just want to trash the
actor/actress involved. While we are all entitled to our opinion and
the rights to express them, I think it's possible to make your point
without destroying the individual. Example: Dracwyla saying that
"Tom Cruise can't act. Never could. Never will." Umm...okay. He is
entitled to his opinion, absolutely! But could he possibly preface
it with "in my opinion" or "I think that..."? Because now we're
going to have people slamming the board with posts stating that he's
a moron, Tom's a God, blah blah blah. More trash to sort through in
order to find my information.
This board is an excellent tool, if we, the users, keep it as such.
End of sermon for today :)
by - Hyaku (Thu Nov 20 2003 17:14:47 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
To try and and add a little sanity and realism to the thread. With
connections to this Tom Cruise movie Japan's NHK Television called
me this week to do a profile on me.
Why? Because I am by profession on the faculty of a Buddhist
UnIversity and am listed at the Nippon Budokan as a senior member of
one of Japans most famous Kenjutsu schools. I am also the acting
Headmaster of another sword school and have taken well over twenty
Dan grades to reach a senior level in other martial arts.
Am a modern day samurai? If I ever say so. please, would someone
call the nearest mental hospital.
Please don't confuse mass media with the ideals of anyone practicing
the sword.
In receiving the call from NHK I was both shocked and insulted and
of course told them to "Get lost". One might say "Do it and try and
create a sense of realism into the mass media as to what the sword
is all about". Would this work? The answer is "No". I already did
one 40 minute documentary for NHK and other local television etc.
There promise make it realistic is false. It will be aired as,
"Westerner Samurai " to satisfy the desires of the public who love
this melodramatic crap.
What's the Samurai ideal? In theory practice with your weapons
(which at that time were swords. Now they are not but the same
theory applies) to defend yourself and your country. Apart from that
strive to increase the population and look and take care of those
around you. If a few people in this world followed that principle
they would not be in the shi??y situation they are in now!
I log on here because I like "Movies"
The mental hospitals over crowded enough already but judging by Tom
Cruise's interviews he needs treatment
all of you lighten up
by - safex11 (Thu Nov 20 2003 17:57:34 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I dunno, from after watching the movie you could easily say that the
title of the movie isn't about tom cruise. He is a visitor in a

foreign world, and even his character doesn't call himself a samurai
in the film.
Unless of course, you consider that the meaning of samurai is
warrior...hmmm...if that is true, and the word samurai does in fact
mean warrior, then tom cruise, or anyone who makes war their life
can and is in fact a "warrior," or by using basic logic and critical
analysis, a "samurai."
So what if he wears the armor and learns to use the japanese sword?
Just because the Japanese are adotping western techniques into their
lifestyles, doesn't make them western. If he finds a deeper meaning
in the code of bushido, which is something that anyone of us can do
with or without being japanese or having lived 150 years ago when
saurai existed, then yes, you can call him a samurai.
Why? Because it's being used as a metaphor, thats why. And there is
no rule written anywhere that you can't use the samurai or their
beliefs as the basis for another characters motivation, especially
if that said character isn't from japan.
You guys should really see the movie before you jump on it for it's
inaccuricies.
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Thu Nov 20 2003 21:06:14

[Post deleted]
Re: all of you lighten up
by - ExecuteDiCaprio (Thu Nov 20 2003 22:32:14 ) Ignore
You're right, SamuraIAm, the battles tend to be short when you're a

samurai badass. It's funny that the police have never done anything
about you carrying your sword around. They must have heard about
that time you used your samurai mind powers and turned your katana
into a flamethrower and fried that dick who rear-ended you, so now
they're scared!!!! That was a good one too, wasn't it?
http://www.firingsquad.com/games/gta3/images/50.jpg
By the way, I've been thinking of doing some landscaping in my
backyard. Given your expertise, would you recommend I use a katana
on bushes or just pine trees?
by - SamuraIAm (Fri Nov 21 2003 02:01:48 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Yep that is a pretty good analysis of me. I have to admit, you

really have me pegged well. It must be that every time someone
carries a sword somewhere the police immediately haul them to jail.
Police are especially unforgiving for anyone that carries martial
equipment around that is an instructor. Hmmm, but in you vast
expanse of law enforcement knowledge, the police should be able to
psychically know when any situation might be occuring. You should be
lucky they dont.
But more importantly than all that, I am very pleased that I can
entertain you. The way you like to joust posts with me, makes me
feel all warm. Thank you for taking time out of your very busy
important schedule to reply to me. I look forward to your
insightful, useful, and comforting messages. I am never really sure
what you are trying to convey or educate me on, but I am sure it is
meant to benefit.
As far as your backyard or as it is called by some, the neverland
ranch. If I were you; use your nine iron. That will be about the
only thing you can pretend to wield.

by - lhawi (Fri Nov 21 2003 02:08:39 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
i am a true samurai. i follow the way of o-dog the black samurai.
being a samurai is a lifetime passion of love, peace and happiness.
and i am a dedicated father of honor
by - safex11 (Fri Nov 21 2003 09:35:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
stalin killed a bit more than 12 million...some figures put it

closer to 75-100 million.
by - froger737 (Fri Nov 21 2003 13:10:07 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
is this some publicity stunt? Because if it is, it is the single

funniest thing I've ever read. They should fly this guy out for the
premiere, and have him do motivational lectures on the topic and
such. I'd pay money to see this.
by - darth_random (Fri Nov 21 2003 19:54:21 ) Ignore
Very honourable of you to say you follow this code, but it doesnt
make you a samurai. As someone pointed out already, the Samurai in
Japan during the Tokugawa Shogunate before the end of feudalism
proclaimed by Emperor Meiji were a class of people in a highly rigid
class structure. Each daimyo (fuedal lord) kept an army of Samurai
as his private force. One could not simply choose to be a samurai,
one had to be born into the class by a descendant of another
Samurai.
by - Don_Juan_Adan (Fri Nov 21 2003 21:45:51 ) Ignore
www.realultimatepower.net
LOL!!!!!!!! Funny web site man.....

by - Don_Juan_Adan (Fri Nov 21 2003 21:50:32 ) Ignore
LOL!
by - rns8751 (Sat Nov 22 2003 12:44:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Actually that's not entirely accurate. You could be accepted as a

retainer to a lord, and during servitude reach the level of Samurai.
You needn't be born into the class at all.
by - japple011 (Sat Nov 22 2003 17:40:03 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I think you guys might be missing the point. There are no real
samurais left idiots. The samurais disappeared during the Meiji era.
They dont exist anymore. It would be the same as me claiming that
knights in shining armor still existed in the western world.
by - safex11 (Sun Nov 23 2003 09:20:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
right, but is chivalry really dead? i think you miss the point of
the title. the movie takes place at the start of the reformation if
japan, when the samurai were abolished. it's about the last handful
of samurai who refused to throw away their beliefs. they are the
last samurai, not cruise.
he is a samurai only as a metaphor for a warrior, and for sharing a
common set of ideas. don't take everything so damn literal all the
time.
by - SamuraIAm (Sun Nov 23 2003 10:32:47 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
That's right. The official time of the Samurai is over but not for
some in Japan. I dont know if the guy is still alive today but 15
years ago there was a very wealthy and powerful man in Japan that
was considered the last Shoganati. His goal, and he plainly told
anyone including the press, was to take over the government of
Japan. Typically in America when a person makes threats like that
and has an army behind him the government immediately steps in to
dismantle or destroy it. However the only problem with him is he had
a very large following. He had people on his payroll that would die
for him and essentially were Samurai in every since of the word. He
had a court and allowed the press to speak to him one time. The
press was told to stay off the main platform he is on. One reporter
thought that was bs and jumped on it to get the lead questions. One
of 50 archers on the balcony plugged the reporter immediately.
I have not heard anything about this guy in years. He was pretty old
then so he might have passed. That is the only problem with being
powerful enough that the government can not handle you. Time is
always on the side of the government. Our government has done that
to American Indians whose leaders the calvary could not beat. They
simply left them alone till the leader died of old age then took
over the tribe.
There have been a few that hold onto the "Samurai" ways in Japan.
Often it is people that are generational to real Samurai.
by - Teif (Mon Nov 24 2003 14:59:57 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Jan 21 2004 14:59:01
jmagnolia if you ever read this thread again i want you to know that
you did a great job of getting a lot of attention and i'm sure
that's exactly what you intended. you also had bonus of bringing out
a lot of the real freaks out there namely penneym in particular. i
think you gave him the best opportunity he has had in ages to tell
people at great length about his immense knowledge of japanese
history and culture.
I hope the rest of you realise that jmagnolia is laughing his head
off at you for getting drawn into his ridiculous argument and his
mates are probably laughing at you to. I'm only addressing this to
the few of you that came here very frequently to check if he had
said anything new and to boast about your own knlowledge of the
samurai way.
I think the guy on the seven samurai thread put it best when he
said:
Akira Kurosawa did enough research to know that the samurai in

REALITY were not a class of honorable warriors who preferred death
to failing their lord. Their closest equivalent is to the mobsters
of the American prohibition era. They were guys with big swords
who killed other guys who didn't have big swords to scare their
families into paying taxes to their lord. Local governors were
little more than gang lords. Samurai were quick to jump ship at an
offer of more money. Retreat was extremely common. Hell, look at
the establishment of the Shogunate - any TRULY loyal samurai would
refuse to allow a general to take the Emperor hostage. Yet it was
the Shogun who ruled Japan for the majority of it's history.
The myth of the samurai as the righteous warrior defending the
innocent is just that - a myth. The men who wrote the books such
as Hagakure were sad that they missed out on the terrible civil
wars that covered Japan and romanticized their predesessors. The
government exploited the samurai image to use as recruitment
advertisement to the Japanese working class during World War II.
To the working class, this was their chance to move up in the
ever-present class system, which obviously wasn't true.
Trust me, men in the 1500's were no more virtuous than men in any
other era. There has always been men in power opressing the weak,
and the samurai were those people.
And if you really want to do your history, you'll find out that
the bow was the real weapon of the samurai, not the sword. Horse
archers dominated warfare in the early days of Japan. The emphasis
on the sword AND the code of Bushido were both the advent of bored
nobles who wanted to play soldier in peacetime
go to jmagnolias other thread and see how other people responded to

his post without looking as foolish or sad (or indeed pretentious)
as penneym.
sorry to everyone who has written well informed and interesting
posts since then: my post has lost some relevence since, I have to
admit, this thread was so long that i got impatient reading on and
just wanted to have my say about penneym who really got on my nerves
with his overgrown school boy fanatics (as you can evidently tell).
:)
by - Ichuta (Tue Nov 25 2003 13:02:04 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I'm very impressed by Jmagnolia's performance, in which by a simple

2-line post he proved that he was able to drive 200 people nuts.
Admirable AND really scary, perfect demonstration of the power of
manipulation...
Anyway there can't be any more samurai, as the title of the movie
says it, Tom Cruise was the last one.
by - Eric-1226 (Tue Nov 25 2003 14:28:05 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
It's all in the semantics....

If I understand correctly (and if I'm wrong, well, take a sword and
behead me already) but anyway, I think "real", genuine samurai don't
exist anymore, because they died out in Japan, starting in the
1860's when Empereor Meijii officially abolished them in favor of a
modern, western-style army (which is what this movie is about). So
that would make modern samurai - or at least people who claim they
are samurai because they follow the Bushido code of conduct - to
actually be "neo-samurai". As such, people who claim they are an
actual, real-life "samurai" really need to slightly amend that and
say they are a "neo-samurai" - or perhaps just say they practice the
Bushido code. And yes, it is still possible to follow the Bushido
code of conduct [code of behavior valuing honor above life] even in
the modern age.
I, for one, can't and don't fault Jmagnolia for his beliefs or his
comments - in fact I welcome the curiosity in me that his post
elicited, as it helped enlighten me about samurai and Bushido code
and such. Now I will watch the movie with a different perspective.
[Post deleted]

by - aly324 (Wed Nov 26 2003 19:46:25 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
returned? dude, you just wanted to keep this thread alive because
people aren't responding to you. i'll help you with this. but i'm
afraid others are already tired of you. it was fun while it lasted.
you're hilarious.
by - aly324 (Wed Nov 26 2003 19:48:05 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
oh wait, you're 1ia... funny.

by - Eric-1226 (Wed Nov 26 2003 21:18:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Clever! jmagno 1 ia (ya' almost had me fooled there... LOL)
Enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey, use your bushido sword to carve it,
eh?
by - ganja_man (Wed Nov 26 2003 21:23:12 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Nov 26 2003 21:23:46
Yo dude. Get a *beep* life. I noe who im dealing with. I'm dealing a
with some 34 year old guy who lives with his parents. What r u gonna
do to me ...throw ninja stars at me. let me ask u this. Did yer mom
smoke crack when she was pregnant with u?
by - froger737 (Thu Nov 27 2003 13:52:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You had a really straight faced act up until now, but with that last
post you blew it. Now everyone knows your a hack. You even stated
yourself that you were going to go watch a movie to learn how to
dispatch of your foes.
It was fun while it lasted. You should start a new online persona.
How about a ghostbuster? Their board could use a thread called "As a
real-life Ghostbuster I have some problems with this movie."
Good Luck, and thanks for a bunch of good laughs. In all
seriousness, my hat's off to you dude.
by - highlanderj456 (Thu Nov 27 2003 14:02:36 ) Ignore
Next post for jamgnolia for Star Wars III; "As a real-life Jedi...."

by - Eric-1226 (Thu Nov 27 2003 17:10:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Impostor alert! That post that you're referring to is apparently not
from the original jmagnolia, who started this thread in the first
place. Notice that the above post to which you replied is from a
jmagno1a (look closely, it's a numeral 1 in place of the letter l).
Click on both screen names and you will see that they are apparently
completely different people. I think the original jmagnolia has
since departed us for good - perhaps on a samurai mission to slay
the evil beastie boys...
by - froger737 (Thu Nov 27 2003 20:14:17 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
That sucks. I thought we'd pestered him enough to admit to his lies.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Cocephus (Fri Nov 28 2003 15:40:33 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Sadly enough, I only got in on this thread today when I was looking
for discussion on "Seven Samuri". But man, was it worth it...
although it is too bad that Jmagnolia hasn't given any more
information about himself than the fact that he's 28, lives with his
parents, won't name his "master" and lives by the code of honor
found in the script of "Ghost Dogg". "Sticking feathers up your butt
does not make you a chicken", said Chuck Phalaniuk.
Also, in response to the post waaaaaaaaay back, if we're going to be
Beetles, I really want to be George... but if you insist on keeping
that one, John will do. Not Paul... he kinda freaks me out... I
heard he thinks he's a samurai...
[Post deleted]
by - Child-of-the-Crusades (Sat Nov 29 2003 02:32:25 )
looks like someone's learned all their world histroy from Civ
III.....eh, Obi-Norm?
by - slo88princess (Sat Nov 29 2003 13:40:03 ) Ignore
i second that!!!!!!!
by - Okita_san (Sat Nov 29 2003 14:12:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
oh man you must be joking...

by - Zolden0 (Sat Nov 29 2003 23:16:53 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
This is the most hilarious thread in the whole of humanity.

Seriously, this is entirely too funny. "Listen d00d, I am a real
samurai, OK? And even though I follow this ancient code that is
totally freakin awesome and I get to really flip out and kill people
I am posting here on imdb to let others know that i am THE SAMURAI.
Ok thx info."
lolol...
by - chosenone- (Sun Nov 30 2003 06:58:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Why did you come online to tell us this? No one gives a *beep* if
you call yourself samurai or not :)
by - gray_pixel (Sun Nov 30 2003 16:20:12 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
i don't have half the patience required to read this whole thread,
but i still think this warrants a beating:
"Samurai is a class your born into, but i think its fine to follow
the code if you wish to do so."
please. definitions change. perhaps if you lived in a caste-based
society, you'd be correct. otherwise, it looks a whole lot more like
you're trying to use your IMPRESSIVE knowledge to defend an opinion
that was stupid to begin with: OMG TOM CRUSE IS NOT A SUAMRUAI!!!!11
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - ffordegroupie (Sun Nov 30 2003 21:28:33 ) Ignore
Yes, jmagnolia, you are a samurai. And because I have studied

extensive information on old Celtic legends and the ways of bards
and poets, not to mention being able to recite several legends from
memory alone, I must be a bard! Wow!
I just wanted to thank the people on this particular thread for the
back-and-forth conversation, especially those who have recommended
further research or entertainment sources. And of course, those who
have some idea of what they are talkin' about. :) I'll be keeping an
eye on this...
by - MickC (Mon Dec 1 2003 05:09:35 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
If you are a Samurai, can I be a Shaolin Monk? "You may be strong,

but my Wing Chun Kung Fu CONQUERS ALL!"
[Post deleted]

by - antonioraisys (Mon Dec 1 2003 07:45:40 ) Ignore
I have to admit it was funny to read this forum, just one thing.
Does anyone talk about movies anymore?
As an actual, real-life movie fan.
by - michapringle (Mon Dec 1 2003 11:06:51 ) Ignore
hahaha. yeah... isn't this post a riot? Not sure about the movies
bit though...
by - kickthecancrew (Mon Dec 1 2003 14:05:31 ) Ignore
I am Japanese, my last name is Omura, same as the guy in the movie

because were both pimps. Anyways, all my j-friends and I always talk
about how much our culture gets imported to white America and gets
assimilated into the culture. Japanese people have a lot of pride
and will always know that this is our culture even when we were the
most hated race in America.
Fads come and go, but I am Japanese for life.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - dribe (Mon Dec 1 2003 16:34:46 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
OMG you're hilarious! You're obviously a teenager judging by the way

you talk, and you're obviously delusional. The class of samurai no
longer exists and it is true that it was a class you were born into.
You can follow the bushido just as one can study the art of
ninjitsu, but you are not a true samurai. Please come back to the
real world and give up your grandiosity. Thank you, gaijin!
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Mister_T (Wed Dec 3 2003 15:32:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Are you sure you said Samurai and not BOXER? As in Chinese Boxer?
Because those guys believed that they could *ahem* dodge bullets and
some in fact believed they were impervious to them...and you know
how well that movement went...
You are delusional or a troll. Either way, the best policy is always
to give people like you scant attention.
by - Cruel_Intentions (Wed Dec 3 2003 15:42:21 ) Ignore
**Wipes tear** Man, this is the funnies thread i've read in a while
[Post deleted]

by - nazley (Wed Dec 3 2003 22:39:34 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Hi, Jmag I have already inquired about a duel but you seem to have
overlooked me. I live in North Carolina, I havent taken any shots at
you I feel actions speak volumes while words are just whispers.
Please let me know if you are sincerely interested.
thank you
by - jekakale (Wed Dec 3 2003 22:40:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Magnolia! This is master! Quite makeing a fool of yourself and leave

this place at once!
And to everyone else, believe me when I say he is NOT ready to go
out in the world. He is the dumbest student I have ever trained, and
couldn't samurai his way through a watermelon. He is a 5 foot
nothing white cracker-ass, and couldn't defend his honor from a
sea-aneminity. He follows no sense of self-control especially when
watching girls gone wild. Not really his fault though, poor guy
hasn't been with a woman in some time.
[Post deleted]

by - nazley (Thu Dec 4 2003 00:03:23 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Jmag where are you from? Perhaps we could meet somewhere. I will
take a greyhound lol. So sword to sword huh...ok do you prefer the
daisho? Niten Ichi Ryu is the style I practice. I am serious about a
duel, I am not just trying to talk *beep*. So if you are indeed
serious let me know and we can work out the formalities. By the
way...no need in bringing my friends, duels arent about showing off,
I will bring one person as a witness and you can do the same.
thank you
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
My e-mail address is musashi_samooreye@yahoo.com. We have all heard

time and time again how long you have been studying the path of
Bushido, no need to keep stating the same point over and over. I am
no imbecile, and I have not opened my "beak" in any manner that
could be percieved harshly or ignorantly. I think the "imbecile"
quote needs to go more to others who have posted in response to you,
not I. I am merely looking for an able bodied opponent to
participate in a duel with, here in North Carolina there are only
two real schools for swordsmanship so competition is slim. Send me
an e-mail and we can go over the details.
thank you
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
Great I cant wait. Save the warnings, I wasnt anticipating a

practice.
thank you
| Report Abuse
E-mail me and we can plan it out.
thank you
[Post deleted]

by - dracwlya (Thu Dec 4 2003 10:38:58 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
My apologies, Nicole1, you are correct - I should have prefaced my

statement regarding Tom Cruise with "In my opinion".
by - brett_callinan (Thu Dec 4 2003 12:18:59 ) Ignore
jmagno1ia its cool that your trying to immitate jmagnolia but you
have to be more subtle and identify with the character.
| Report Abuse
J mag, I have been waiting but hmm...you havent e-mailed me with any
plans for our duel. I assumed after all the talk that you would jump
at a chance to duel seeing as you have been studying the path of
Bushido for four years and all.
thank you
by - rns8751 (Thu Dec 4 2003 19:41:16 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
He's a liar and a coward, that's all there is to it.

| Report Abuse
Ofcourse, like he said himself those who always use their big beak
usually lose it. A man who does nothing but talk is usually only
talking because that is all that he knows how to do.
by - jekakale (Thu Dec 4 2003 21:09:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
jmag = jfag
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
UPDATED Sat Dec 6 2003 00:34:03
As I have stated before I wasnt anticipating a practice, and the one

who has been opening his "beak" throughout the whole message board
is none other than yourself. The only thing I have opened my "beak"
about is in acceptance to your challenge. I am no coward, if I was a
coward I would be boasting my ego, and doing nothing to prove my
boasts. I havent spoken a single word to raise my own self above
anyone else.
thank you
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
I have already accepted, e-mail me and we can work out the details.
thank you
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]
UPDATED Fri Dec 5 2003 00:53:54

by - thefistoffury (Fri Dec 5 2003 03:11:47 ) Ignore
oh please give it a break jmagnolia

"and will soon have my own place"
so it seems our friend was right and you still live with your
parents in the basement.
oh by the way it doesnt take a genius to know that the bushido is
the samurai code of honour, so dont try being all mystical wise
because your not ok.
out of interest do you look at porn on the internet? because im sure
there isnt much on that in the code of bushido, i mean considering
this is the modern day and age, heck im surprised the bushido even
allows you to use a computer, or wait a minute was it before or
after the computer was invented im not sure.
oh if you have a katana please tell me if its one from japan and how
much was it.
[Post deleted]

by - chinko_ninja (Fri Dec 5 2003 09:30:10 ) Ignore
oh yeah? and I'm a real life Yakuza...
By the way, I've lots of Japanese friends who really don't like
Japanese movies. Including me. But I really love manga though! and
hentai too!!!
Leave it to the gaijintachi to claim to love nihon no eiga to look
and sound cool (like this freak jmag who claims to be a samurai.
that's a riot!!!). But hey, to each his own.
###
Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red dawn.
###

by - nazley (Fri Dec 5 2003 11:46:49 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Jmag, I have nothing else to say...as you and I have both said
talking is nothing, actions are everything. I will wait patiently
for you to e-mail me with the plans for the duel. There is no point
of this worthless talk, we will see who is what when the duel
arrives.
thank you
[Post deleted]

by - razorbladesmile (Fri Dec 5 2003 18:28:13 ) Ignore
hey jmagnolia, you want a duel? I'll give you a duel. Name the time
and place. Whenever. Wherever. Real swords. Sunset. Bring plenty of
bandages. If I let you live I'll show you your real destiny.
[Post deleted]

by - nguarente (Fri Dec 5 2003 19:19:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
YOU'RE RIGHT! He's an actor... Idiot...

User | Report Abuse
Hey Kenshin, shut the *beep* up.

Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
by - SmooveK (Fri Dec 5 2003 19:26:13 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
m ¹ Á Ä ¾ ¤ Ì Í ³ B » ã Ì Ð ï Å Í o È ¢ æ B
-K
User | Report Abuse
That's great man. When you get your own place you can jerk off while
watching Kurasowa films with out your mom busting in.
| Report Abuse
Jmag, I have said I will come to where ever you are to duel. so
e-mail me and we can work it out. So stop "beaking" and get to
e-mailing me with the plans. I will come up there and that saves you
the trouble.
thank you
by - AlexDeLarge87 (Fri Dec 5 2003 19:55:23 ) Ignore
you are 28 years old and you live with your mom? pathetic
[Post deleted]

Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â?B
by - kigaomoidansei (Fri Dec 5 2003 21:42:26 ) Ignore
Damn dude... you really are a stupid douche bag, the only one in
this thread who is embarrassing themselves is you JM. You are the
one in this thread who is making an ass of themselve. Samurai?... My
ass... hey guess what, I'm a ****ing Pirate!
RRRRRR!!!!!!!
Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
| Report Abuse
Stop what Jmag? All I have ever done is accept your challenge. Like
I said earlier I will ride out to where you are and duel you all you
have to do is say when and where,its simple really not even you
could misunderstand that...though for some reason you arent
understanding it. I havent tried to make fun of you or anything,I
have simply inquired about the duel you spoke of. I dont care what
you are an expert in or how many years you have studied bushido, we
all know already. All I am concerned with is a duel, so when you are
done talking and warning me and threatening everyone in the message
board just e-mail me at musashi_samooreye@yahoo.com and if you have
yahoo send me some pm's we can work the details out then.
thank you
Re: Penneym
by - matt-182 (Fri Dec 5 2003 21:50:17 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I think that's due to the high number of Anti-Semitic Jedi in

England.. a true shame, when will they learn?
Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
by - OUKnight99 (Fri Dec 5 2003 22:23:54 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
guys what if JMag is retarded and he really does think he is

samurai? I mean it wouldn't be all that cool to pick on him. Maybe
everyone should just agree with him so he doesn't sneak back
upstairs out of the basement and steal one of his moms knives to
practice his "training" with? I mean can you imagine how badly he'd
hurt himself? It would be terrible, and I don't want that resting on
my conscience, do you?
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
by - nazley (Sat Dec 6 2003 00:04:56 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Mr Jmagnolia I would not hide behind anything, I want to duel you,

and I plan on it. You are a coward if you run from a challenge. In
this whole message board all you have done was boast your own skills
to a ridiculous level, say contradictory statements like: those who
resort to calling names are nothing more than cowards, but the whole
time you refer to the public as ants and imbeciles, and you called
me a coward for accepting a duel, I am sincere about a duel if for
no other reason just to show you something, that like you said:when
all a person does is beak that is all they can do, but you Mr
Samurai all you have done in this thread is talk, or should I say
beak. you are not a samurai how dare you even refer to yourself as
such, you think four years is long enough to become a samurai, maybe
in physical ability but not in the mental state. It takes a life
time of strict devotion to follow the code of bushido. If you want
to know a samurai read about Musashi Miyamoto, or Shinmen Takezo he
was a real samurai who lived by the code of the samurai. He would
never back down from a challenge and died of old age, plus he didnt
run around saying I am a samurai, he was humble a trait of the true
samurai unlike yourself. You are the coward hiding behind this
message board, I will take a bus out to where ever you live, take a
week off work and duel you. You name the place the date and time,
stop hiding you coward and accept this challenge if you think of
yourself as a samurai. I will be there with my katana and wakizashi.
thank you
Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â?B
by - kigaomoidansei (Sat Dec 6 2003 00:25:57 ) Ignore
It's spelt "Duel" dumbass. And we all know exactly who we are
dealing with here, a complete and utter jackass.
In short, shut the **** up.
You think it takes 4 years to become a Samurai?... you really are
ignorant. And Samoorye is right, a real Samurai wouldn't go around
telling everyone he is one. Sounds to me like someone just wants
attention. Now, consider yourself ignored.
Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
by - lusick (Sat Dec 6 2003 01:16:15 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Ants and imbiciles? You claim you are a samurai, and yet have shown
no proof towards this. For a claim this outragous, you just expect
us to beleive you? If you want us to beleive you, you gotta beleive
that our buddy Jasonvoorheeves666 is a superhero.
[Post deleted]

Undeniable Proof
by - rebis2000 (Sat Dec 6 2003 08:07:02 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
For all you jerks picking on JMag, I happen to know for a fact that
he is a real samurai. I tracked him down (I'm a ninja, so it was no
problem) and saw him with my very own eyes. His glittering gold cape
clearly bore the words: "Bushido Man!" spelled out in strips of
electrical tape.
Re: Î © Î © µ ¢ â B
by - OUKnight99 (Sat Dec 6 2003 09:48:15 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
"dual (would you mind using spell check?)"
Dual - \Du"al\, a. [L. dualis, fr. duo two. See Two.] Expressing, or
consisting of, the number two; belonging to two; as, the dual number
of nouns, etc., in Greek.
Duel - \Du"el\, n. [It. duello, fr. L. duellum, orig., a contest

between two, which passed into the common form bellum war, fr. duo
two: cf. F. duel. See Bellicose, Two, and cf. Duello.] A combat
between two persons, fought with deadly weapons, by agreement. It
usually arises from an injury done or an affront given by one to the
other.
Just thought i'd put these up here so that Jfag...err i mean Jmag
doesn't make himself look like more of an ass. Not a very educated
samurai eh?
[Post deleted]

by - Conspiracy_Of_One (Sat Dec 6 2003 10:15:56 )
jmagnolia, your a samurai who spends just a little too much time
online. shouldn't you be training? look out! ninjas!
[Post deleted]

by - Murph McManus (Sat Dec 6 2003 11:56:15 ) Ignore
Who is your master? I'm just wondering.

Wow! Wowwie Wow Wow Wow!
by - mpickett81 (Sat Dec 6 2003 11:56:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I just read some of this thread and all I can say is "wow." This has
to be the most ridiculous set of posts in the world. Either jmag hit
his head while watching Ghost Dog and woke up thinking he was an
urban samurai, or this is all just been one big joke on his part.
The latter seems like a distinct possibility... I mean, a 28 year
old that lives with his mom (I'm sorry, just moved out HAHAHA)
possessing the grammatical skills of a slow-to-learn chimpanzee,
claiming to be a "an actual, real-life samurai" (wow! both actual
AND real-life)... that's just too perfect in its hilarity to be
true. My favorites so far have been the misuse of the word "dual"
and the way jmag turns down people that accept his challenges by
calling them ants. Keep at it jmag, this is way better than anything
that's on TV.
EDIT: OK, I just realized there is a jmagnolia and a jmagno1ia (the
number one replacing the "l" in the original name). So I'm guessing
some guy took a name similar to jmagnolia so he could pretend to be
this samurai that started the threads and have a good laugh?
by - pacinomoss (Sat Dec 6 2003 12:35:16 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
jmagnolia i cannot believe you are carrying on about this samurai

business because you are definitely not one. First off you cannot
even remain calm you act with great hostility with remarks "idiot"
"*beep*". Second samurais are of the past, since the meiji era
samurais were the bottom class of the japanese society below
artisans and farmers and they are now a great pasttime. Third, your
name jmagnolia reminds me of a certain movie P.T. Anderson's
MAGNOLIA, which in return could induce that you are a fan of Tom
Cruise and that was your orignal interest in the last samurai which
brings me to my conclusion, these boards are to debate the beauty of
filmmaking not to pose as someone and waste time so get back
to"meditating" and stop this post "hahahahah"
by - Booker_t99 (Sat Dec 6 2003 12:38:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
you know that "jmagno1ia" is just some guy who is trying to be
"jmagnolia". I don't think the real jmagnolia has been on this board
for quite some time.
by - DashX-2 (Sat Dec 6 2003 13:07:38 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hehe...wow...you're all psychotic.

Though possibly I am too since I read this whole thing. Laughed my
ass off, almost as much as I did watching XXX. Great job, everybody.
Enjoyed it immensely.
by - bjm9588 (Sat Dec 6 2003 14:06:31 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
A yes, a samurai that surfs the internet.

by - razorbladesmile (Sat Dec 6 2003 15:17:38 ) Ignore
Jmag is a liar. I am the Last Remaining Samurai alive. My mom told

me that she met a samurai a long time ago in a Doobie Brothers
concert and they hooked up, cuz, you know, way back then, chicks dig
real samurais. They went to an Authentic Japanese restaurant,
ordered some sashimi (samurais love sashimi), then one thing led to
another and here I am, the REAL and ONLY samurai alive. It's true
cuz I checked, apparently my samurai dad killed all remaining
samurai back then.
I was born a samurai, unlike you who just pretend to be one after
reading some GI Joe comics.
So Jmag, please, for your own sake, stop pretending to be a real
samurai because I am the LAST REMAINING SAMURAI. Tom Cruise ain't
got nothing on me.
By the way, Ghost Dog sucks major ass.
------
Nice legs! When do they open?
by - hannan_matt (Sat Dec 6 2003 15:23:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
if you are an actual samurai, then why are you wasting your time and
words on this message board. if you had any honor, why waste your
time trying to get a bunch of 13 year old kids to think you are
cool?
[Post deleted]

The Samurai vs. the Way of the Samurai...
by - blooddoll6 (Sat Dec 6 2003 18:05:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
reiterated from my other post:

Personally, I do not believe you are a samurai, though you may live
by bushido and follow the way of the samurai, the samurai are
extinct. Now, if you were a member of the ruling class of Japan and
you lived well over a hundred years ago...perhaps but I know that is
not the case.
The samurai encompass much more than just a code of discipline and
the skills of a warrior, they were the rulers of Japan for many
hundreds of years. Since Westernization and imperialism overtook
Japan, the Samurai are forever lost to history.
Now if you say you follow the way of the Samurai, that I can
believe. And while I appreciate the seriousness and dedication it
would take to follow the way of the Samurai, to say you are a
Samurai.. well, you might as well say you are a Roman soldier or a
viking...it is not possible.
Re: The Samurai vs. the Way of the Samurai...
by - thegodfatherIV (Sat Dec 6 2003 18:34:15 ) Ignore
I don't think real samurai's brag about their missions... I don't

even think you are a real samurai. Why would you reveal yourself as
a samurai? Why use the internet to talk about it?
[Post deleted]
by - Eric-1226 (Sat Dec 6 2003 19:39:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
ATTENTION FELLOW BRETHREN OF CYBERLAND: THIS THREAD HAS BECOME TODO

LOCO!!! IF YOU READ ALL THESE POSTS, YOU WILL GO TOTALLY INSANE!!!
SAVE YOURSELVES!! IN THE NAME OF GOD, PEOPLE, RUN AWAY!! RUN FOR
YOUR LIVES!!!!
(Cue the music, "I think I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning
Japanese I really think so....")
[Post deleted]

by - druss44121-1 (Sat Dec 6 2003 20:45:21 ) Ignore
i am a samurai too. but i have this condition. i only remember

things for 15 minutes. so i write all these little notes to myself.
without them I would forget that I am a sumarai. perhaps i would
consider myself a ninja, and that would not be good.
by - nazley (Sat Dec 6 2003 21:22:42 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Damn, all I know is that there is no reasoning with the ignorant, or

in this case disillusioned as well as ignorant. I wonder does your
"master" read what you have written and how you bring nothing but
shame to the proud name of the samurai? No wonder you lived with
your mother and father for so long...they were afraid to let you out
of the house by yourself. And I am sure a real samurai would be
happy to help his parents by doing simple chores like mowing the
yard, especially when you are 28 years old and living at home with
mommy and daddy. Bitching because he asks you to do something to
help out around the house, a real samurai wouldnt bum off of others.
You can say what you want about me and everyone else in this message
board, but your words are the real truth, you are just a sad little
boy who lets his mouth write checks his ass cant cash, you run your
mouth challenging everyone but when someone sincerely accepts you
call them a coward. Maybe you should move back in with mommy, your
spot in her bed is getting cold, and her tits will go dry with out
you feeding on them. If you were a samurai the only way to redeem
yourself would be to commit seppukku because in the short time span
of a few months you have managed to give the whole honor of the true
samurai a bad name. In short when you want to act like a man and
challenge someone to a duel, dont be a baby and back out running
your mouth the whole way home to mommy. I challenge you to a duel
and everyone here in this message board is invited to come, you name
the state, city, date and time. Like I said before I will save your
mom the gas money and you the trouble, just name the place and time.
Come on J mag prove all of us wrong and do something other than talk
for once, agree and give the date and time and place...otherwise be
known as J-mag the little samurai who could'nt.
thank you
by - JCMC (Sun Dec 7 2003 00:43:17 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
"The best part is that you don't sound AT ALL like a teenage geek
who sits in his parents' basement, trying to absorb, osmosis-like,
the character traits of people on Star Trek or Dungeons & Dragons."
wow jason - to find the time to write a mini-online-essay devoted to
putting down someone you don't even know such as jmag makes you the
hugest geek ever. and yes, i am aware that the word "hugest" doesn't
even exist in the english dictionary - i only put it there so you
can put ME down for my lack of proper english grammar in yet another
one of your mini-online-essays crawling with your pathetic online
wit and sarcasm. loser.
by - rns8751 (Sun Dec 7 2003 01:10:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Just a note to Jmag, it's spelled "Hagakure", not "Hakagure".

[Post deleted]

by - JCMC (Sun Dec 7 2003 01:36:49 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
yeoman farmers eat pirates for breakfast. when the yeoman revolution
comes, your pirates will be riddled with a blanket of deadly arrows.

by - pesticide98 (Sun Dec 7 2003 04:00:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
sup y'all!
ghostdawg in the hizouse. all you fake azz samurai need to stop
frontin' i am the one and only true ghostdizawg
samuraiiieeiiiiieieie.
peace foo
[Post deleted]

by - Norm_uk (Sun Dec 7 2003 04:42:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Unless you have the approval of fellow noble born Samurai, are born
into a Samurai family or have the honour bestowed upon you by an
Oyabun rank or higher patron you are NOT a Samurai any more than I
am a Knight because I practise chivallry.
Following the code of the Bushido is open to all fighting men and
has little to do with being a Samurai really since many Samurai
flaunted the code as we saw in WII in the prisoner of war camps.
by - kimikaboo (Sun Dec 7 2003 09:30:52 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I'm also a descendant of samuri, I've been given the family sword
that is houndreds years old. Where'd you get your sword ebay or
toys-r-us?
It's kind of funny listening to argue so passionatly about being a
"real samuri"
Good luck with your hobby
by - choochooman7 (Sun Dec 7 2003 12:18:47 ) Ignore
Jmagnolia
Is all you do is go around to message boards about smaurai movies
and say "Hey I am a samurai and this film is not like what real
samurai are like." All your posts say the smae thing. It's annoying.
Don't watch samurai films if you will find inaccuracies and then
complain on the baords.
[Post deleted]

by - simonsaidno (Sun Dec 7 2003 12:57:04 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
post #300, i couldnt resist

:-P
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Sun Dec 7 2003 14:55:26

[Post deleted]

by - jsangspar (Sun Dec 7 2003 14:29:22 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You ought to start all your sentences with 'As an actual, real-life
samurai,'- perhaps also end them with '... in accordance with
prophecy.' Then realize that without a daimyo, you cannot be a real
samurai.
[Post deleted]
by - ED-210 (Sun Dec 7 2003 14:59:00 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
y'know, while everyone is challenging and accepting duels, i should

speak up. I challenge jmag to a duel, your weapon against mine. You
bring your katana and i'll bring my m-16. I say this because I am a
warrior in the armed forces. I was in Afghanistan, in Kosovo and
Somalia. I have seen violence and death. I am proud to serve my
country and the "Lords" that rule it.
I will show you how a warrior of this age fights and how the ways of
the samurai, but not the philosophy, are gone. I have honour, a
sense of brotherhood, and justice. My humility is lacking sometimes
because I believe someone HAS to do something about this guy.
I deeply respect the samurai of old and only hope that someday i
could live up to their standards. I don't think, however, that I
will ever attain their philosophy or their strict code but I hope
that I have lived my life in the same spirit.
The people here bring up a very good point. Samurai of old do not go
around bullying (and I use this in the loosest translation possible)
people about being a samurai. They would not care if people believed
them or not. I know many people who are experienced in killing
others in combat but are a far cry from being a samurai. So, even if
you do kill me or any other person you fight it still doesn't even
come close to proving you are samurai. It just means you have
learned the part of that life which matters the least.
Which brings me to my next point, do you even have a lord to
protect? The very reason why they existed in the first place? if
not, how many times has this whole persona gotten you laid? I only
assume that could be the reason.
Call me a F**king imbecile, I'll show you what an imbecile can do
when he's done something that most people refuse to do...put his
life on the line for others. Hey, wait a minute...isn't that what
samurai USED to do?
Anyways, I challenge you, Jmag, to a duel. And you will lose...
by - josia (Sun Dec 7 2003 15:09:45 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
"Defending his honor on these boards is so important to him that
I've been staying at his place so i can use his new dell computer. "
This had me lollin' :D

[Post deleted]

by - bill_lives_here (Sun Dec 7 2003 15:28:59 ) Ignore
i wonder if jmagnolia has a big long hard samurai sword which he

uses to deal out the punishment to the narrow-minded who are blinded
to the obvious that he is in fact a mighty samurai who follows the
code tirelessly and humbly follows his master.
crack that whip....the liquorice whip

by - MHofer1984 (Sun Dec 7 2003 15:32:35 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Well said.
Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh!t that high - Gunnery
Sgt. Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
by - MHofer1984 (Sun Dec 7 2003 15:34:44 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Okay, he's gone from lunatic to plain retard. Everyone ignore him
and maybe he'll go away.
Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh!t that high - Gunnery
Sgt. Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
| Report Abuse
Who said I was part of the US armed forces? As far as bragging, I

thought I would simlpy let you know of what I've done concerning war
and battle, which I see that you have not. I am not proud for what I
have seen or done, but I am proud to do what few other people have
shunned away from. I do not pretend to "be" a samurai, but I hope
that I have done their memory proud as far as serving their country.
Now, is that an acceptance to my challenge? It seems I must be

wasting my time because your other challenger is still writing. Just
confess you have no backbone, probably the stench of rotting bodies
in a mass grave would make you soil yourself and cry like a woman
(I've seen it), and we will al leave you alone. Just say it was a
big joke and you were crying for attention. Don't worry we'll have a
hearty laugh, slap each other on the back and go our separate ways.
By the way, think long and hard before you call someone a coward. It
must be quite convenient to sit in your lazy boy, eating doritoes
and watch CNN judging what you see on a screen five thousand miles
away. I have seen more courage and selflessness from a twenty year
old kid than I will ever probably see in you. It is your choice not
to fight, but DON'T call yourself a warrior of old and then judge
someone who has to live the life you pretend to have. You're then
just insulting them.
And my final statement is this, if you truly can dodge bullets, you
should join the ranks of warriors and do something useful with your
pathetic excuse of a life.
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
Gee, if that was your last post, what happened to your last post
three posts ago? I'll tell you, you've certainly made my sunday
reading all this thread. How about writing one more time telling us
this is a waste of your time? Because I am quite sure now that you
are a scared little boy hoping to find out what people think about
you and your little fantasy. If your master (who is a b**ch) is
letting you use his computer to defend his honour, I'm sure he's
quite proud of bringing you into his world so he can have someone to
diddle at night.
Please respond...smite me like the infidel that I am, if you can
dodge bullets I'm sure you'll have no problem finding where I live
in 30 minutes or less to cut my head off before I know what
happened.
Or maybe I should be quaking in my boots.
| Report Abuse
Another thing, I can't find your address please put it up

again....mine is fasteddie11@hotmail.com
now, i wanna shut you up on principle
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
woah woah, what happened to your last post...god, your pathetic!!

by - Xaov (Sun Dec 7 2003 17:56:20 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Vlad the Impaler (a.k.a. Dracula) was a Romanian despot. Killed

hundreds of Romanians and Turks in brutal forms. But is revered as a
national hero because he kept "Islamic" Turks out of "Christian"
Romania.
He has been stated as being the most ruthless tyrant ever.
by - Esplin (Sun Dec 7 2003 17:59:40 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Urbanweight, as someone who comes from an IVY league school, you'd
surely know that it's spelled "Ivy", and not "IV"... perhaps you've
just heard of that classification of school on the radio...?
You seem to have simply restated everything penney said.
by - eskjellum (Sun Dec 7 2003 18:16:06 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
This thread kept me amused for a while (actually it made me burst

out laughing). I remember reading one IMDB user's comment: "Reading
the boards on IMDB proves it: There is no hope for mankind". And
truly, the challenge becomes deciphering who is taking the piss and
who is being serious. I vehemently believe that all you people who
are calling jmagnolia a fool and pathetic loser are only doing so
because you are 1: joking or 2: jumping the gun. If you calmly read
the words, they would take on a..... rather humorous tone, and
instead of becoming aggressive, you would laugh. Agitated minds
create much suffering. If reading an IMDB thread causes you to feel
this way, then you really need to look at your life.
Jmagnolia: You have most definitely mastered the art of war, so thus
I guess to some extent you are a samurai. By so manipulating people
that they completely fail to see the joke, you are indeed victorious
- for what is warfare but a battle of the minds. But the joke is
running out now, don't you agree? It has been a good time for you
I'm sure, but isn't about time you stop making people look stupid.
To you others, look inside yourselves and ask why on earth you are
so eager to call others a fool. It's a shame that this anxiety to
make yourself look good by making others look bad kind of backfires
a wee bit when the guy was joking to begin with.
Sorry to make such a serious reply to a humorous thread, but the
joke ran out twenty screens up and now it's just too great a
reminder of the sorry state of humanity. Take care my fellow beings.
We are sentient for a reason. Think about it.
[Post deleted]

by - razorbladesmile (Sun Dec 7 2003 18:30:56 ) Ignore
You losers are pathetic!!! Armed Forces my ass... armed forces of

what? armed forces of Idaho? Pathetic!
Pirates? The only thing you can pirate are mp3's!
I am a real samurai, not like jmag. He's a pathetic geek with
immature fantasies. Unlike me, I am a real samurai! I even work at a
Japanese Restaurant!
So shut up with all the duels or I'll dunk my wiener in your next
sushi!!!
Any hot chicks out there wanna check out how long my "katana" really
is? *wink*wink*
------
Nice legs! When do they open?
[Post deleted]

by - nazley (Sun Dec 7 2003 19:16:09 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Wow, this is a surprise...I am glad you have seen the light Jmag and
have decided to step up to the plate. I will e-mail you and we can
plan out the duel, and as an added bonus with a one on one e-mail
there is no reason to waste a few months on bragging. I will talk to
you soon.
thank you
[Post deleted]

| Report Abuse
I am sure this will surprise no one as well I just e-mailed you,

shimmentakezo@hotmail.com check your mail.
thank you
| Report Abuse
And whats really funny is I gave you days to e-mail me and you never
did, you post your e-mail address and I respond saying I will write
you...in one hours time you post a reply saying I never wrote you.
Check your mail I wrote you and put in response to as a real life
samurai as you requested. Patience is a virtue.
thank you
[Post deleted]

by - azarbano (Sun Dec 7 2003 20:39:06 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
As an actual, real-life HOBBIT, all I wanna know is where's my

pipe-weed?
| Report Abuse
Yes Jmag e-mailed me in return and we have made an agreement, I will

let him tell you about it if that wasnt his last actual post.
thank you
[Post deleted]

by - snik123 (Mon Dec 8 2003 03:24:57 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hello, are you well-equipped?

[Post deleted]
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - dijonaise2323 (Mon Dec 8 2003 11:46:54 ) Ignore
No dude, i seriously know jmagnolia. He is a real samuria. We got in

this battle thing like a month ago in the crispy cream parking lot.
You cannot make samuria's siece to exist just because you refuse to
see man.
by - dombrewer (Mon Dec 8 2003 14:21:01 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Why on earth are you stupid people still responding to this?

jmagno1ia (with the "one" in his name) has just been messing with
your heads. The guy who wrote the first post hasn't been here in
over a month. Why not try to actually read some of the previous
posts before you all wade in. The new guy is a comedian with
trollish tendencies and he's making all aggressive responders look
like idiots....
by - Eric-1226 (Mon Dec 8 2003 14:29:06 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Exactly! (I called peoples' attention to this impostor several days

ago, but alas, to no avail!)
[Post deleted]

by - fuscillyjerry (Mon Dec 8 2003 16:16:21 ) Ignore
did someone want email addresses so he could duel? what the hell is
going on in this thread? you mean like, e-duel through email? are
you a complete and utter loser? i still can't believe i read
that...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. the only thing worth reading
in here was the guy claiming to be a samurai working at a japanese
restaurant, haha, that was gold.
[Post deleted]

by - JD_Slick (Mon Dec 8 2003 18:08:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
so jmag,
as an actual samurai, does it get you laid?
does your code of honor help break the ice on blind dates?
Do you have a big ass armor suit or anything kickass like that?
How do samurais feel about global warming?
Can you kick MY ASS?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a

warning to others.
[Post deleted]

by - incognitoway (Mon Dec 8 2003 21:30:21 ) Ignore
Why dont you please EXPLAIN to me how you became samuari?

You are born into Samuari or given that honor by another samuari.
People used to hope they were good enough in their current life to
be reborn into samuari status or at least get closer to it.
Bleh just because you play Mortal Kombat all the time doesnt make
you a freaking samuari, and even though you follow the code (which I
am sure you don't) doesnt make you one either. I just means you
follow the rules that a samuari would have to follow without any of
the actual perks of being a samuari.
You need to read shogun, or do some actual research.
by - warlock147 (Mon Dec 8 2003 21:31:33 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
My close friend's father has practiced and studied the arts of

Bushido and has held the katana for decades in honor, and praises
Buddha for hours daily to strenghten his honor and soul. He has
taught me the way of the katana for years now. He told me one thng
when I asked about the Samurai and that is this, he has gone to all
over Japan and asked said question to Shaolin and Buhddist monks and
Bushido Masters even theologists and philosophers. There reply is
the same, The way of the Samurai is dead. It died with rural Japan.
by - sinaan0 (Mon Dec 8 2003 21:36:38 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hey Jmagnolia, I as a REAL modern Aztec warrior could also be your

partner, yes i am a real Mexica warrior, I wear lowrider shirts with
prints of Aztlan, I root for Fernando Vargas, I speak three words in
native Nahuatl (the aztec language for all of you non-aztec
warriors), and I've gone to the pyramides. See , now we can be a
trio, You a samurai, I an aztec warrior, and Comet boy. We could
even split up the bad guys we catch, I'll sacrifice mine in honor of
Huitzilopotzli, you on who ever you want , and comet boy will
probably sacrifice his for little George W Bush.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Patchwork_Giant (Mon Dec 8 2003 22:37:17 ) Ignore
Actually I feel pretty goddamn terrific, thanks for asking.

I am legend
by - SpyderOgre (Mon Dec 8 2003 23:22:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Tue Dec 9 2003 01:48:03
Alright, I've resisted posting on here long enough. JMag, unless you
were born into a Samurai Family you are not a samurai, they're
right. As you stated early on, you're caucasian, dressing black and
acting black wouldn't make you black, hell, it'd probably get you
shot if you rolled through the wrong part of town. I have studied
Kenjitsu as well as Ju Jitsu, just because I have learned the combat
forms of these martial arts does not make me a samurai, I might rank
a hitokiri at best. Just because you know the code doesn't mean you
follow, just because you follow it, doesn't make you a samurai. By
your logic if I followed the Jedi Code, I would be a Jedi. (quick
note, the tactics behind the use of the lightsabre is based
primarily on the Japanese art of swordsmanship)
You are not the only one that knows the code by the way.
Jin - to develop a sympathetic understanding of people
Gi - to preserve the correct ethics
Chu - to show loyalty to one's master
Ko - to respect and to care for one's parents
Rei - to show respect for others
Chi - to enhance wisdom by broadening one's knowledge
Shin - to be truthful at all times
Tei - to care for the aged and those of a humble station
Accepting duels from those that are not of an equal level to
challenge you lowers your status among the samurai if you were one,
which you aren't. Frankly, your very claiming that you are a samurai
cheapens the status behind being a samurai. I am a student of
Kenjitsu, I am a student of Ju Jitsu, I am a student of Taw Kwon Do,
I am a student Muay Thai, I feel that I possess the soul of a
warrior, I am a follower Shao Lin Buddhism. None of this makes me
any sort of ancient warrior. If it sounds like a duck, looks like a
duck, but smells like log I just pinched on your lawn, that doesn't
make it a f*cking duck, that just means I need to see a
proctologist.
by - SpyderOgre (Mon Dec 8 2003 23:42:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Oh wow...this is a jewel too. F*ck you buddy. My brother is a marine

infantryman, he qualified a rifle expert, meaning that at 500 yards
he'd pop you right in the head with that M-16 when I distract you by
shifting from a chudan stance to a waki-gedan. You ain't gonna dodge
sh*t. You won't even have the time to piss yourself before your
brain matter lands about 4 feet away. And I'm sure I'm not the only
one that's noticed this, JMagnolia (Jay and Silent Bob's
MagnoliaFan) so I'm gonna make the movie reference everyone is
thinking, F*ck you jmagnolia, f*ck you up your stupid ass, with your
sayaka (scabbard for the general population) at that!
by - iron_lotus444 (Tue Dec 9 2003 00:02:27 ) Ignore
dont worry jmag i still like you and comet boy and that aztec guy
(sorry i dont know your super-name) id like to join you but i cant
seem to work the sewing machine very well so until i get some sort
of costume/super-name/catch phrase/gimick/superpower/philosophy/a
sandwhich/and maybe an extra set of limbs/eyes or something cool,
(ill take suggestions) so any ways till then keep a spot open for
me.
by - al_graper (Tue Dec 9 2003 00:16:34 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
To be honest, I always wanted to be in cahoots with someone.

by - al_graper (Tue Dec 9 2003 00:16:45 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
To be honest, I always wanted to be in cahoots with someone.

by - iron_lotus444 (Tue Dec 9 2003 00:21:56 ) Ignore
ill be in cahoots with you if your incahoots with me and everyone
else can either be incahoots or out-of-cahoots.
by - Meddler30 (Tue Dec 9 2003 07:36:11 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I really find it amusing when people with no sense of culture try to

steal someone else's culture. "as a true samurai" Oh please c'mon
that's just a bunch of crap. samurai is a culture its not something
u can read up or train with a sensei to become one. u have to grow
up with that culture. it should have been inscribed in ur heart if
possible. u can't just wake up one day and decide that today i want
to be a samurai.
so even though u might think u're a real samurai, chances are u will
never trully be one. sorry about that.
[Post deleted]

by - Volstag (Tue Dec 9 2003 12:46:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
What are the Bushido guidelines for posting to IMDB forums?

As an aside, I find it hard to believe that a devote practitioner of
the Way of the Sumarai would bother boasting, anonymously, on a
public forum.
Rei - to show respect for others.
Shin - to be truthful at all times.
by - jonpotzer (Tue Dec 9 2003 12:55:11 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I would like to take a different stand on this whole claiming to be

a Samurai issue. In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. I
will give this guy the reasonable doubt that he is in fact a real
samurai. I was always taught as an Elf Warrior to trust fellow
internet users. The Elvin code is very similar to the Bushido code.
I would say almost identical. Therefore, myself and JMagnolia are in
fact brothers in a mystical sense. The only different between the
two is I am equipped with Elf magic to thwart evil doers. JMagnolia,
I trust in you brother.
Regards,
J pizzle.
"An elf is only as strong as his Keebler council."
by - warlock147 (Tue Dec 9 2003 14:47:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
hey man you got to realize that the way of the samurai is dead, and
if you watched the Samurai special on the History Channel it will
tell you that the last true Samurai died in the 18th century. Your
so called proof is garbage, hell I can recite parts of the code,and
its spelled "duel", and I can point out a person on a TV special and
say he taught me but it would not make it true, sorry kid your
"proof" has no strenght to it. I new a sensai who studied the arts
of Bushido for 30 years before he died and he did not dare call
himself a Samurai, for its way is dead.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

To Jmag
by - WillowWicca (Tue Dec 9 2003 16:24:15 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
This is probably going to be a big waste of time but I couldn't

resist any longer...
Jmagnolia (or Jmagno1ia), what was your point in posting the way you
did? This isn't meant to be rude or obnoxious, I really, really want
to know because I can't tell anymore. On the one hand, this could be
one huge joke to rile up IMDB. If that was your intent, you
succeeded. On the other, maybe you really are a "Samurai" or at
least believe you are, I'm not getting into that. But really, what
was your intent?? Or purpose?? I, and a whole bunch of others want
to know!
re: I claim I'm a samurai. People act like imbiciles.
Yeah, a lot have. But what did you expect with such a post? You had
to have known that you were going to recieve at least some ridicule.
And your responses to people has not helped your case of being a
supposed mature, well-trained and good "saumurai."
re: I prove I'm a samurai by stating parts of the code. People act
like imbiciles.
Did you know that within heart surgery, mechanical valves are known
for their exceptional durability but need life-long anticoagulation?
Did you know that tissue valves do not need that much
anticoagulation, but they're not as strong or durable?
And what is my point here? I just stated parts of heart surgery.
Does that make me a heart surgeon? NO. Anyone can look up info about
something and state it as their own knowledge. (In my case, my best
friend's dad is a heart surgeon so I just asked him.) You have
proven NOTHING by stating the "code."
re: I prove I'm a samurai by challenging and accepting duals. People
act like imbiciles and make fun of me.
Are you really going to have duels? I got the sense from some
posters you either backed out or didn't reply.
re: I prove I'm a samurai by pointing out who my master is on a
nationally televised cable show. People act like imbiciles and make
fun of me.
Ok, who was he? I forgot his name but was he the tall bald man who
did the sword demonstration? Since you know him, refresh my memory
and just tell me his name. That shouldn't be too hard. And again,
it's very easy to state you know someone on TV. Do you have tangible
proof?
How does this make me feel...honestly, really confused about you. I
don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for you. And believe me, I
know who I am too and am very comfortable with that.
I'm not looking to attack you or anything like that, I'm being
genuine here. And I don't know how you'll respond, if at all, but I
would appreciate a "real" response and not some more recycled lines
of how you've proven yourself and that we're all ants and imbeciles.
If you are indeed who you say are, you should have no problem
responding to my post in a honest, straight-forward manner. I would
think your Master would have taught you that much. PM me if you're
more comfortable with that.
And if you choose to not respond...well...guess we're right.
[Post deleted]

Re: to wicca
by - WillowWicca (Tue Dec 9 2003 17:47:49 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Oh, ganubis, I know. :-) Well, I don't *know* for sure if they are
indeed two different people, but I figured it was worth posting to
see what sort of response I'd get. I can't believe this thread is
still alive, lol.
by - valentino130 (Tue Dec 9 2003 18:33:25 ) Ignore
lol, man everyone is just tearing this guy to pieces. That BBC news
report was just ridiculous. Some people need some serious therapy.
[Post deleted]

by - nazley (Tue Dec 9 2003 20:20:26 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Jmag e-mailed me in regards to my duel and he apologized and called
off the duel. This thread is dead, time to move on to another one.
[Post deleted]

by - Filmfan-31 (Tue Dec 9 2003 21:11:35 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I was a samurai, but they dont offer dental.

Peter: It's his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you
two long, boobless hours.
by - VyseKingofRogues (Tue Dec 9 2003 21:25:50 ) Ignore
I didnt want to take part in this, but I have to say, when I first
saw the Seven Samurai post, I didnt know why everyone was being such
dicks to you, but now that I see it, even if there are modern
samurai, which there may be, I seriously doubt you are one of them,
I'm also still confused about who owns which accounts, with the
Jmagnolia and Jmagno1ia with a 1, becuase the other person made the
parody posts about being on top of the master, which as first I
thought was proof you were just playing, but now Im not sure.
In conclusion, you are a total douche
by - warlock147 (Tue Dec 9 2003 21:26:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I have seen your previous post u also think your a real life jedi
and you like to say that Samurai *beep* in alot of other posts, how
immature can u be, man your sad.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

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by - WillowWicca (Wed Dec 10 2003 16:15:04 ) Ignore
UPDATED Wed Dec 10 2003 16:17:09
Jmag-
You know, I asked you very nicely to answer my post and you still
haven't. You can't even tell me what your Master's name is?
Apparently, it's easier for you to answer the humourous/rude posts
than a serious one. I guess this really is one big joke. Oh well!
[Post deleted]

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[Post deleted]
UPDATED Thu Dec 11 2003 11:07:28

by - WillowWicca (Wed Dec 10 2003 21:30:45 ) Ignore
Oh ganubis, you crack me up. :-)

Alright Jmagnolia (Jmagno1ia), we'll do it this way. Since you can't
simply scroll up the page and find a post specifically titled, "To
Jmag," I'll send you my post in a PM. That way, you don't have to do
any searching and you can respond to me in private, which I had
suggested to begin with in my post. I'm really curious now. I would
think you would appreciate a respectful post, rather than hide
behind vague answers.
As for your so-called Master...I get what you're saying. Here's the
thing though: he was on TV and everyone who watched the show knows
his name. So, what's the point in keeping it so secretive? Unless
you're afraid some "ant" will *specifically* search him out simply
because he's linked to you...is that it? Since I know next to
nothing about the samurai in America, I don't know exactly who
you're talking about, so please explain.
Thank you.

by - gig103 (Thu Dec 11 2003 10:54:25 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Man, this has been a histerical thread. Thanks for the laughs
everyone!
And JMag, stop being such a faggot. You obviously can't live by the
Samurai code even if you wanted. You can't even live up to your word
of "last post" as you have said it 6 times.
You are insulting the real Samurai. I would insult you, but your
life is pretty pathetic ... how is mommy's basement?
[Post deleted]

You know what?
by - artie130606 (Thu Dec 11 2003 12:23:35 ) Ignore
You're not a samurai.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: You know what?
by - DemiMooreisHOT (Thu Dec 11 2003 14:47:58 ) Ignore
sup jmag. I just found this so hey you think you could post what a
typical samurai day is? I am extremely interested on what a real
life samurai has to endure in the modern world. Personally I
wouldn't do it, but if you want to hey thats your prerogative, you
can do what you want. And if these guy are all laughing at you or
whatever, don't worry about it. Also I was curious to where you live
(I'm not talking address, just like near Chicago or southern Italy
or wherever) and how old you are (teenager, 20s, 30s, etc.). I want
to know more about this real life samurai!
Re: You know what?
by - rns8751 (Thu Dec 11 2003 20:25:17 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
It's funny, but every quote that Jmag has used is completely made
up.
"beaking will get you no where, the application of steel will give
you the world"
-the hakagure "
This quote is not in the HAGAKURE (which is the actual name of the
book, not "Hakagure" which shows how uneducated and ignorant Jmag
actually is).
[Post deleted]
Re: You know what?
by - nazley (Thu Dec 11 2003 21:34:11 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hey Jmag,
just wondering, I know you got your sword at Bugei trading, but what
style, model make is it? you should check out last legend.com and go
to sword armory then check out the Oriental realm. They have some
really awesome swords.
thank you

by - scoobiescottie21 (Fri Dec 12 2003 07:10:17 )
the hakagure states very clearly that any one who must resort to
name calling will meet the blade of the masters pupil, jekakale you
are first on the list.
To all the very intelligent and studious people (i know this because
they said so)who have responded to mr magnolia i have the utmost
repect for the Japanese culture and find it completely facinating
and salute your dedication.
Mr Magnolia. Read your quote!"any one who must resort to name
calling will meet the blade of the masters pupil" You follow it up
by telling them to shut their 'Beak'. On several occassions you've
called somebody a name, sometimes a rude one. Therefore you must die
by the blade! Am i wrong?
You also slagged someone off for not using a spell check. And on
several occasions you have made major spelling and grammatical
errors. Although not claiming to be a complete master of the English
Language i can only go to an old saying i have often heard "People
in glass houses......."
You profess to being a Samurai, yet you are rude, you have no
honour, you show other people little or no respect, you call people
names and you are vain. All of which goes against the doctrine of
the Samurai. (this is regardless of what people believe the
Samurai's role was in history.)
I haven't studied Japanese history, in fact the only way i know
anything is through personal reading, and movies (seeing as i'm a
movie freak and this is a movie site), but even Mr Miagi of "Karate
Kid" fame told "Daniel-San" that he must respect his oponent, never
encourage violence, and to always have honour.(Also Daniel-San left
home at 17 to live with him)
Finally, you may have "studied" the Bushido for 4 years but that
doesn't make you a Samurai. I studied the Indiana Jones Films for
several years, as well as the Tomb Raider films, but that doesn't
make me an Archaeologist (never said I could spell).
For 20 yrs i have studied the way of the Scooby-Doo, but that
doesn't mean that i can eat a 3ft sandwich whole, or run scared from
anything not wearing a short skirt (although sounds like a plan to
me).........(Thinks that thru and will probably get reply that Mr
Magnolia wears short skirts so re-think is in order).
In conclusion i may not be as intelligent as some of the other
people on this message board, and i feel that i am not as childish
or as rude as some of the others, but you are, in my opinion, a
Hypocrite. You profess to live by a doctorine, then do everything to
go against it.
Hope i've not sounded to harsh and....."Smoke me a kipper i'll be
back for breakfast."
by - namo05 (Fri Dec 12 2003 07:15:03 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LMFAO
by - pekopoko (Fri Dec 12 2003 09:46:04 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Really, is that possible?

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: You stupid imisills
by - nazley (Fri Dec 12 2003 23:38:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hmm, onions you say, and diced tomatoes? Tell me more about these
onions and tomatoes they entice me. Cheese oh lots of cheese,
couldnt imagine life with out it.
by - aikidoka_girl (Sat Dec 13 2003 20:52:19 ) Ignore
Please do us (and your master) a favor and commit seppuku already.

Oh wait a minute, that is supposed to be an honorable
thing...nevermind. I do kenjitsu (samurai sword fighting) and the
only the problems I really had dealt with slamming swords into sayas
(scabbards) and the way they passed swords off to one another, but
then again, that might just be the school of swordsmanship that I
study that is picky about that stuff. All I know is if I got caught
doing those things in class, I would be in trouble. I digress...it's
a cool story...oh and just because I have katanas, wakizashis,
tantos, bokkens, and shinais, doesn't make me samurai, and just
because I know how to use my swords, and how to show utmost respect
for that culture and the ways of honor and loyalty, etc. don't make
me a samurai either. I do wish however that more of those things
were understood in Western (American) culture, but that is another
rant for another day.
I am a samurai
by - jompman23 (Sun Dec 14 2003 12:08:33 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
why are u guys hatin on this jmagnolia guy so much...

i am a samurai too
i just bought a steak knife and i will die by my steak knife
and my hair..
yea its pretty long i guess, sometimes covers my eyes if its frizzy
thank you
Re: I am a samurai
by - namo05 (Mon Dec 15 2003 11:53:47 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LOL
[Post deleted]

Re: Thanks
by - nazley (Mon Dec 15 2003 22:23:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
lol, what a joke

by - remmy42 (Tue Dec 16 2003 03:11:14 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Being someone's direct descendant does not make you that person...
My great-great-grandfather was Amish. So much for heredity.
I'm also reminded by this topic of the construction foreman from
Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
----------
You don't realize how cold a floor really is until you sit on it
without pants.
Re: You stupid imisills
by - remmy42 (Tue Dec 16 2003 03:14:57 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Trouble with Waffle House is they don't have gravy.

Or cheddar cheese.
----------
You don't realize how cold a floor really is until you sit on it
without pants.
Re: Thanks
by - namo05 (Tue Dec 16 2003 06:54:37 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Jmagnolia stfu. You lame ass *beep*.

[Post deleted]
[Post deleted]

Re: Thanks
by - namo05 (Wed Dec 17 2003 06:19:07 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LOL
[Post deleted]

Re: Thanks
by - pesticide98 (Wed Dec 17 2003 12:01:37 ) Ignore
ahh how the mighty samurai has fallen. gone are the days of old
where he roamed the country side upholding the law and protecting
the innocent.
now he works at a *beep* waffle house off the i95
[Post deleted]

by - flexxjoe (Wed Dec 17 2003 13:17:31 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
As an actual real life soldier who has studied Bushido and is

greatly impressed with the dedication and discipline necessary to
truly follow the way of the warrior, I think you are an idiot. I
have long had a great interest in Bushido and have studied
everything I could get my hands on about the Samurai and their way
of life, but I would never call myself a Samurai. I have tried to
adopt certain aspects of Bushido in my personal and professional
life, but I am not a Samurai. I am a warrior and a soldier who has
seen war and has killed men in armed combat but that does not make
me a Samurai. I have a deep respect for the true Samurai culture
that died out long ago. jmagnolia, you are a fool and if a true
Samurai were to walk the earth today he would surely laugh at your
claim and probably behead you just for dishonoring his culture.
by - nazley (Wed Dec 17 2003 16:58:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am not defeated, and shall not be defeated...I find no one on this

board a threat. However when I get home from work and just want to
relax I get on the net and look in this thread and it brings a smile
to my face, it is like watching an award winning television
show...it has everything drama, suspense, action(well maybe not
action) it has satyr and irony, and the parodies are magnificent.
Keep up the good work everyone.
Sincerely, musashi samooreye
[Post deleted]

by - nazley (Wed Dec 17 2003 19:47:12 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
wow that was insanely enlightening...By the way Waffle House has
some awesome food...where else can you get a great real burger at
like 2 a.m.? McDonalds and Wendy's may be open late or 24-7 but they
dont add the love to each meal. Our friend Jmagn0lia is correct,
love is all we need whether it be greasy and delicious, or just
silky and nauseating.
by - hahajmagisafag (Wed Dec 17 2003 22:42:23 ) Ignore
haha look jmag is a fag. look at what he put on other message

boards.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0086190/board/flat/4515630?d=4715419#4715
419
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0383574/board/thread/4837680
EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGHT AT JMAGNOLIA THE "REAL LIFE" PIRATE, JEDI,
AND SAMURAI.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - scsadx4 (Thu Dec 18 2003 16:30:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
If a duel is what your looking for I will happily honor your

request.I have trained with a katana for several years now.I am also
very familiar with the bushido way of life and I'm a follower of the
Samurai Code. But that does not give me the right to call myself a
samurai. I personally think of you as disgrace to the word samurai.
You know nothing of honor, you just know of what you read. All you
have to do is name a time and place.
by - devilgazuya (Thu Dec 18 2003 17:31:39 ) Ignore
To: Real life Samurai.......Good one, I don't believe even for a

minute that Samurai, sit at home on the internet in their free time
thinking of clever things to say in a message board. All of your
free time would be spent practicing. Please sir, get real.
Courvoisier......please?
[Post deleted]
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

User | Report Abuse
Whoa Whoa Whoa...Hold on a minute Jmag I challenged you, and

accepted your challenge and all you did was talk trash until you
finally e-mailed me back saying how you would publically apologize
and call the duel off. You never did either of those things, but I
would sincerely like to meet you...duel or no duel. So please do not
say that you get no acceptance from challenges because I have
accepted, and challenged you.
thank you
User | Report Abuse
There are way too many j mag clones, in this threads prime I made a
challenge to the first j mag under the name shimmen takezo...no
response. the some time later i came back and there was a new jmag
who sais he is the old one and forgot his password which I believe
because I forgot mine too and had to make a new name hence "musashi
samooreye" I challenged him again and he talked neologic trash for
days. Then said he would accept so i gave my e-mail address which
never got any responses, then he gave his e-mail address and like an
hour later said I hadnt responded, so when I got home from work I
did respond and e-mailed him. He then told me that I seemed like an
honorable man and that he would publically call the duel off and
apologize. His next post was that the arrangements had been taken
care of and this will be my last post. No apology and no
cancellation. Therefore should the duel still be on? and since I
challenged him in the first place shouldnt I have say so of when and
if the duel be called off? Hmm...interesting. Jmagno1ia, not
Jmagn0lia where at in New Jersey are you exactly? I care nothing
about traffic.
thank you

by - RyDawg (Fri Dec 19 2003 01:07:21 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
get a life, give up, stfu, all of u

by - jamie-60 (Fri Dec 19 2003 04:10:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Me-thinks you've all been a bit harsh on jmagnolia, after all any
Englishman will tell you that living your life according to strict
code aint easy. Over here in Blighty most adults have to adhere to
the stringent rules of the Highway-code. These rules hang like the
Sword of Damocles over every driver in the land. And should you
neglect these rules, and say, drive the wrong way round a
roundabout, you can expect to live the rest of your life in shame,
or at least cause a huge traffic accident.
Would now be good time tell you all I'm a Smurf, just like Pappa
Smurf before me.
by - shinigamisan (Fri Dec 19 2003 15:45:47 ) Ignore
ROTFL
Real Samurai.
Anata wa baka desu.
Want to meet me at Shinjuku JR station and show me your skillz.
Oops, sorry, I guess as a Real Samurai we'd probably better meet at
the Meiji Shrine. Harajuku exit on the JR. Short Walk to Yoyogi
Park.
Clean your hands with the Temple water, and clap 3 times before
entering, but I'm sure you have practiced this ritual for many
years.
Dewa mata.
ばかもいちげい
If the above Japanese Hiragana doesn't show on your computer, it's
an old Japanese saying, means roughly "Even a Fool has one Talent".
In this case, forums poser.
by - Robocopm4 (Sat Dec 20 2003 16:10:48 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Samurai were a class of society that were at the top due to there
beliefs and morals. You might (although I doubt you do) have learned
martial arts and swordsmanship but you can never be a samurai cause
the class has dissapeared from society.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - rogerbrent (Sun Dec 21 2003 15:12:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
What a coincidence, so am I! We should hang out and chop some people

up (bad people of course).
by - Eric-1226 (Sun Dec 21 2003 16:15:29 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Jmagnolia is dead! God is Dead! Christ, He has risen! May you all
Live Long and Prosper! Save yourselves, do not walk, run, RUN from
this thread while you still have a breath of mortal soul left in
your dismal un-revamped being!!!!!! Hallelujah brothers and sisters,
Peace Frog from the Virginia Swamp welcomes you to the Wombat token
diatrabe of Frodo the younger and Bilbo the elder into the Grail,
the HOLY grail, that can only be defended with the sword, the cross,
and the BLOOD of your freakness the swizzle-master P.... yeah that's
right the Dude who swizzles wid de organic swizzle stick, wid ma
minizzle in da drizzle. Have a merry Christmas all you
Wombat/Dingbat freaks - and please do not decapitate your Christmas
tree with your Bushido blade before it's time, because that is an
exercise best left to the few remaining roaming phycho-killer
Samurai of the Gobi Desert such as the likes of Jmagnolia but he is
dead so please leave your Christmas tree alone and.... recycle it
responsibly, ya hear????? Repo man is ALWAYS intesnse!!!! Bank on
it. Rats. I hate rats.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - vctortooms (Mon Dec 22 2003 10:53:13 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
To all those reading JMagnolia's posts:

Bahahahahahahahahahaha! (with you).
To JMagnolia:
Bahahahahahahahahahaha! (at you).
That is all.

by - fgalkin (Mon Dec 22 2003 16:32:46 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Bah, samurai suck. I am an actual, real-life Jedi. :P

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
[Post deleted]
by - KoondoggSaints (Mon Dec 22 2003 22:38:07 ) Ignore
You are wrong about that. Definitions do change, but according to

www.dictionary.com, Unless you are a member of the Japanese feudal
military aristocracy, then being a samurai is something that you are
born into. This definition would mean that you MUST BE Japanese or
you must be born into the CLASS. So jmagnolia is a moron. I have
seen guys that say they are wizards, but just because they read a
lame book about spells doesnt mean that they are in fact a wizard.
So no jmagnolia, you are NOT a samurai. You can follow the way of
the samurai, you can treat the samurai code as if it were your own,
but you are in fact NOT a samurai at all. I also doubt that you will
commit suicide out of shame. Here is the definition from the website
I meantioned earlier.
samurai ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sm-r)
n. pl. samurai or samurais
1. The Japanese feudal military aristocracy.
2. A professional warrior belonging to this class.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."

-Maximus
I am an actual real-life Knight who says Nee
by - moffitt2 (Tue Dec 23 2003 07:30:20 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Nee!
by - yifan_tunan (Tue Dec 23 2003 17:49:53 ) Ignore
y l [ æ ¶,
Æ v Á Ä é Ì ª A n È j W Ì l É b ¹ Ä é Ì Ë B iYes, I really
did mean to say "like a foolish carrot" j
³ µ Ä é ª ¢ ¢ Ì æ B g [ ª H × ³ ¹ é Ü ¢ Ë B
ú { ê ª º è Ì Å ä Æ È ³ ¢ B
A real-life samurai who gets picked on over internet
by - Charlie000 (Wed Dec 24 2003 06:57:11 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
what an whiny ass~

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: A real-life samurai who gets picked on over internet
by - squall231 (Thu Dec 25 2003 19:59:14 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Ah. This guy trolled up the Ghost Dog forum as well. And the The
Seven Samurai forum. Don't waste your time on him.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - shinigami_no_miko (Fri Dec 26 2003 10:44:40 )
I would just like to say that this ENTIRE thread has amused me
greatly. Thank you to everyone for making my bad day a whole lot
better! ^_^
[Post deleted]
by - Joshua_the_samurai (Fri Dec 26 2003 22:21:29 )
I asked a Samurai i once met what he thought it mant to be a

Samurai, he said (and I quote):
"Anyone who Devotes themselves compltetly and totaly to a cause,
even to the point of thier own death. . .and expected nothing, not
even the faintest gratitude in return is truly a Samurai."
Joshua
The samurai Has Spoken
by - dysun (Sat Dec 27 2003 06:47:06 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I carry a sword...that makes me a samurai.
[Post deleted]

by - nsix (Sun Dec 28 2003 07:40:22 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I AM A SAMURAI! MY KARATE IS STRONG! HUYA!

yada
by - Cookie-Good (Tue Dec 30 2003 23:55:38 ) Ignore
Okay I was laughing my head off at first, but now it's just old.
Although I have to say, it was really funny.
Now stop posting here. :D
Re: yada
by - buchowski (Thu Jan 1 2004 14:45:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Wow, this has to be the longest thread I have seen on IMDB. Top.
:D
[Post deleted]

by - poca1014k (Sat Jan 3 2004 00:25:09 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
J-MAG THANK YOU SO MUCH On one of the other post A RUDE PERSON who
thinks he/she know the Native Americans. I'm up set with this person
this is what I posted to heror him. I am so glad you have the ways.
We need to talk more. Peace be with you on your RED ROAD.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><>
Dear Before you start running your mouth Know that you are talking
to a Native American,
http://hometown.aol.com/poca1014k/myhomepage/index.html
And No your wrong We beleive that we were all ways here in North
America Most of us believe in the BEAR. We were born of the bear. We
didn't cross over no land bridge we were all ways here That only
white mans words. I that it yourt white. No wnder the East don't
like the white you need to open your mind more. And yes for your
information in the old days we DID that enemy's and took them in to
our village to learn our ways. That what the WAR LORD was doing he
saw that he was good at what he was doing. That like you kill one of
us we take two of you. Killing the women and children you were
taking away a big work force so we made up for it. Now Tell me I'm
wrong. You sound as bout as white as you can be. We Share the same
beliefs in Our view of the white man I can tell you take. We know
what warriors are the white people don't have any.
AND ANOTHER THING If we're mix in with the
CAUCASIAN,MEXICANS,HISPANICS and AFRICAN-AMERCANS Believe me it was
not by chose we did not invite you over here. As far as we The
Native are concern You are still trust passing on our land. And for
your information MEXICANS were Native American before the Spanish
came here there still our people. And you need to think the last I
heard the MEXICAN and the HISPANICS wereone in the same PEOPLE I
happen to be Spanish as well. YYOU sound more like a RED NECK TO ME>
NO PON INTTENED.
Katherine Eagle Bear
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>.
jude0921 2 hours ago (Fri Jan 2 21:15:29)

UPDATED Fri Jan 2 21:33:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------
------------
I read a topic comparing the samurai or their way of life to the
native americans, that the two worlds or cultures would be
identical. This is the most ridiculous, implausible theory i have
ever heard. I don't see how this could be so, a more real comparison
would be the nomadic lives of the mongols to the native americans
and that is where they originally came from but so long ago even
that is not a fair comparison as even genetically and culturally it
is completely split and so long ago! How is it that the samurai is
best compared to the american indians?? because they both used a
crossbow on horseback? Thats ridiculous, everyone did back then.
[Post deleted]

by - coca_soda_classic (Sat Jan 3 2004 00:56:16 )
Good call.
by - Dinosaur_jr_-2 (Sun Jan 4 2004 11:37:42 ) Ignore
Answer me this you *beep*, why are you starting all these topics?
You did this on the Seven Samurai message board as well as the Kill
Bill messag board. What the f uck is wrong with you? Samurais don't
go around the internet talking crap to random people, for thier
well-being, either take this *beep* elsewhere or keep it to yourself
you no-lifed little prick.
by - barret_reich (Sun Jan 4 2004 17:26:13 ) Ignore
I used to believe that humanity was generally good, until I came

here. :-P
Seriously, if all you guys do is sit around all day on your
computers making fun of people on the internet, you seriously have
no life. jmagnolia here, on the other hand, obviously reads
literature and takes martial arts. Now, I'm sure most of us here are
just irritated from work or school and we should all just walk away
from our computers, pick up a good book, heat up some hot chocolate,
and meditate on the curiousities of the internet. You won't do that
of course. You will probably rather post a few messages deriding me
instead. I'm okay with that, I'm used to that sort of stuff. I want
to see what you guys have to say about me anyways anyhow.
- TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR! -
[Post deleted]

by - moz_14 (Sun Jan 4 2004 21:19:04 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
whoever started this whole thread should just shut up already. your
not helping anything by trying to make everyone believe that youre a
real samurai. lets say everyone here agrees with you that you truly
are a samurai. what have you gained by proving that? your just
making everything harder for yourself. and who cares that the
information in the movie is all wrong, or whatever your complaining
about? its not a historical document. its not even real. its a
FICTIONAL movie.
what happened to your "this will be my last post ever?"
by - Nicole01 (Tue Jan 6 2004 06:49:22 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
And here you got me all excited that you would stop posting....how
dare you!
"...this will be my last post ever."
[Post deleted]

Re: what happened to your "this will be my last post ever?"
by - N-ya (Tue Jan 6 2004 11:50:16 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
if you are samurai then maybe you shouldn't be braging about it.
Isn't there something that says your supposed to be humble. I know
"Hagakure" is a good book, I read it too but that don't make me no
samurai and if I was one I wouldn't get online trying to win brownie
points by braging about it.
Mmmm brownie's
by - kered_3 (Tue Jan 6 2004 12:44:43 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
ridiculous poser!
are you japanese?
you need to be a descendent of a "royal" family.
it was a feudal system, there were social boundaries.
despite what you have see in the movies, there were not white
samurai...
you are worth a laugh!
User | Report Abuse
ridiculous poser!
are you japanese?
you need to be a descendent of a "royal" family.
it was a feudal system, there were social boundaries.
despite what you have see in the movies, there were no caucasian
samurai...
you are worth a laugh!
you watch too many movies.

User | Report Abuse
yeah.... well put.

i can't believe people think that they are samurai.
so silly.
the people that think that they saumrai are truly idiots...
they should commit harikiri.
heh...
restore your honor morons.

by - namo05 (Wed Jan 7 2004 06:50:41 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Jan 7 2004 06:55:43
Check this out LOL.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377109/board/thread/4929953
by - sunday12 (Wed Jan 7 2004 07:19:54 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
ok.
by - nazley (Mon Jan 12 2004 20:30:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Yea that is hilarious all these jmag parodies are simply comedic
brilliance.
by - Teif (Fri Jan 16 2004 09:48:31 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
it's one thing being jmagnolia but imitating him! That's REALLY sad.
I can't believe you people fell for this.

by - coldmail (Sat Jan 17 2004 10:17:30 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
F**ing hell, this is the most funny web-site I have ever seen ...
Sarcasm level raises to the maximum there
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: fatty and a samurai
by - Teif (Wed Jan 21 2004 16:17:11 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Everyone know you are not the real jmagnolia, you don't talk
anything like him, so just shut up. Jmagnolia was much funnier than
you and when he first did this it was original. Think up your own
hoax, this on is just a lame copy of a copy of a copy. And out of
all th eclones you are the second least funny. The least funny is
jmagno1ia.
Do you kids want to be like the real UN; or do you want to squabble
and waste time?
Re: fatty and a samurai
by - adam-330 (Wed Jan 21 2004 19:05:43 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hey seriously, are you the guy who made this web page:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/
?????
[Post deleted]

by - MrJinx (Sat Jan 24 2004 09:39:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
They should make the life of Jmagnolia into a movie... it would be

called 'Actual, Real-life Samurai' and star Hulk Hogan as the ninja
baddie: "Karate-chop this, Brother!"
by - amkarateka (Sun Jan 25 2004 13:50:11 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
the code huh where do you live NY ok Jan 31, 2004 my front yard
(1122 brookshire Dr. Tyler,TX) noon bring your sword, ill have mine.
If your not there ill declare myself and my school the winner and
emplore you to restore your self with your Tanto. Kill me or your
self. mmmkay -Hudson Scott blade master of the American Socity of
Karate.
User | Report Abuse
fed us law is 5 and one half in. i am a knife and sword dealer you
cant carry a sword UNLESS it is to or from Martial Arts practace

User | Report Abuse
2pac died
[Post deleted]

by - sapphiredreams22 (Mon Jan 26 2004 01:45:24 )
people are strange when you're a stranger......
hey everyone, just joined. see you guys around!

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]
Re: un fu ck ing beliveable
by - needcatscan (Thu Jan 29 2004 15:11:51 ) Ignore
Out of curiousity, has anyone noticed that the real jmagnolia

stopped posting like months ago? He was funny because he was
serious, these guys are lame because they're pretending to be him.
Out of attention or self importance, I'm not sure, but oh well, the
actual jmagnolia was funny as hell!
[Post deleted]

by - srv_ver4 (Fri Jan 30 2004 05:28:31 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
go on there jmagnolia! win that special olympics! reach for the

stars! infact, i hear the Village People are looking for a new
gimmick...maybe you could apply...unless you're going to be too busy
fighting crime with Comet Boy...which, i must add, i think you
should. i'd buy your comics!
oh, and Ben still says you're a horses d1ck...
by - jasonvoorhees666666 (Wed Feb 4 2004 06:28:46 )
Sorry I've been away so long, but Comet Boy has been spending a lot
of time with Astro Girl, and she really knows her way around a
"black hole," if ya know what I'm sayin. Really knows how to tickle
"Saturn's Rings," if you take my meaning. Really has a way of
squeezing out a "Milky Way."
ah, I don't know what I'm talking about.....
"Let's go do some crimes."
"Yeah....let's go get sushi and not pay."
[Post deleted]
by - barakabob (Sat Feb 7 2004 20:56:52 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Why the Templars? The Templars were part of the crusades and only
represent religious intolerance.
by - barakabob (Sat Feb 7 2004 22:07:39 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
A book I read said that the practice of sepukku after a lord is

called oibara. Is he confusing it with something else or do they
have similar meanings?
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Sat Feb 7 2004 22:51:43

by - ILikeMonkeys (Sun Feb 8 2004 19:48:08 ) Ignore
um ya, i remember reading you write this crap on that seven samurai
post, and you said you are the only samurai... um if you have a
master shouldnt he be a samurai too? your such bull crap dude, quit
playing dungeons and dragons and get outside.
[Post deleted]

by - Hiei (Wed Feb 11 2004 17:45:07 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Will you quit this fooliness, how do you find time for all of this?
your not a Samurai!
by - Ripper85 (Fri Feb 13 2004 10:59:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
not you again..the "i am a samurai" man

by - Hiei (Fri Feb 13 2004 16:25:49 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
This guy is a bigger Samurai fanitic then I am, but I do not go

around bragging that Im a Samurai.
by - jmagnoIia (Sun Feb 15 2004 23:18:01 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
last post
you cannot gasp the depth of your wrongness
ever
last post
by - FLAVOURIX (Mon Feb 16 2004 06:15:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
yeah i cant "gasp" the wrongness either, lol, now that is the
definition of irony if i ever saw it.
by - Hiei (Mon Feb 16 2004 09:06:22 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Notice the last 2 posts of this Jmag dude, differences in the name
is this a joke? there is no "wrongness" but yours that you are too
arrogant to grasp.
by - demandred_999 (Mon Feb 16 2004 15:19:05 ) Ignore
Ok mr real life samurai, i have a news flash for you.
Your not a samurai. The samurai are extinct. You may follow the
code, to a certain extent, but your not samurai.
I heard you say that you have altered the code to accomodate modern
day life, which in itself is sacriliege.
#1, you have to be japanese and have been raised as a samurai to be
a samurai, and to dedicate yourself entirely to the code. Including
seppuku. Seppuku was used whenever a samurai thought he has fallen
from honor, even the small things. A lesser method of apologising
was cutting off a finger if honor did not require seppuku to be
restored. I seriously doubt you would do eithe of these things. And
yes, they are required. If you stray from or think that yo can
modify the old rules in any way to suit the 20th century, than your
not a real samurai.
#2 you must be willing to fight a man with a machine gun with only
archaic weapons. Yes that rule still applies. Samurai found the use
of all firearms dishonorable. You would also have to be willing to
fight him straight up without sneaking up on him because samurai
refused to do such things. If someone was a hundred paces away with
a gun, you would have to walk towards him in the open, without
sneaking, and fight him, giving him ample opportunities to shoot
you. I doubt you would do this either.
The only reason ninja were effective at all in the old days was
because they did not follow bushido. Everyone nowdays is a ninja.
Being a ninja in japan meant nothing except that you would use
whatever and do whatever it took to get the job done. Period. they
were normal guys who did not follow the samurai code.
Im japanese and i was raised knowing more about their culture and
it's history than you could ever know. Even the japanese
accknowledge the samurai as being extinct, and they should know.
You can follow the code all you want, but because you said you
modified the code to suit the modern day world, you have
automatically disregarded the possibility of you even being samurai.
Don't call yourself samurai. Just say you follow the code. That was,
you won't be regarded as a liar, which anyone and everyone should
regard anyone claiming to be samurai.
Well said, demandred 999
by - Hiei (Mon Feb 16 2004 17:17:15 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I agree, and I find that very hard to attack your opponet who has a
firearm, but that is very accurate on what you said about the 19
century Japan theory, because then Samurai resented use of any
firearms, Ninjas dont use guns either to my knowledge, I could be
wrong. many Japanese at that time Samurai/Ninja had overcome swords
over guns against foreigners/ and Japanese who used this. and by
Jmag saying he modified the way of the Samurai into moderned ways,
if the samurai exist today, they would consider that dishonorable
and disgraceful, if you actually saw Last Samurai, it was the
purpose of the war between samurai and Imperialist(the ones who
welcomed foreigners into Japan) because the Menji goverment wanted
Japan to westenize like the rest of the world and except foreign
trade and the samurai didnt like it, so they rebeled, and even if
you ment a Japanese person whose from Japan and follows the code or
in karate, they would sure tel you you are not samurai. because you
disgrace any of their traditional means by trying to modern a way of
living that isnt meant to change.
[Post deleted]

and that is the 100 you have said that
by - Hiei (Tue Feb 17 2004 07:43:56 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Who are you to tell us where or when we can post? you are just
playing a big game. and wont admit your wrong.
the trouble with studying martial arts from books and macho
morons
by - mingo-2 (Tue Feb 17 2004 10:13:39 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Is you end up looking like this guy, insecure, not grounded in

reality, and terrified of his own shadow. He makes up a legend of
himself, so he can be the star of his own comic book. Samurai,
amoung other things, were tools of fuedal lords to oppress the
people. Like Ninga, their press is overblown. Being an anglo,
claiming to be a "Real" Samurai, is like a person having a sex
change claiming to be a "real" woman. Till you give birth, no dice
bunky.
Re: the trouble with studying martial arts from books and
macho morons
by - Hiei (Tue Feb 17 2004 17:02:02 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Lol
[Post deleted]

macho morons
by - eejij11225 (Thu Feb 19 2004 17:21:16 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Um...i think that jmagonolia has either SERIOUS self-esteem

problems, brain problems, fantasy problems, and probably, SERIOUS
ISSUES!! dude, i'm studying japan for history, and aren't samurai's
who follow the CODE supposed to be HUMBLE???? and seriously, what
REAL, authentic samurai thats only 28 years old, uses a username
called J Magnolia? AND, the nickname J-Mag...Hmmm...Let's see, a
fake samurai! btw, look at the contrast between 2 posts...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
--------
I do not pretend to be superior. I am merely a Samurai who follows
his master, and follows the code. I do not wish to cause trouble,
but I will not back down to a smite against my honor.
I do not request your tolerance, for it is not yours to give. From
the source all things come, and all things return. The sooner you
understand this, the sooner you will be able to understand all that
I am.
I am not a complex man. I am merely a follower of the Code.
Good day to you sir.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
HAHAHAHA yeah that's real funny. You must have a great since of
humor. To the guys above you, I have a master and I will definately
not reveal his identity. To the other jack asses on this board I am
not a teeneager, I am 28, have my own job and will soon have my own
place.
Just because you never had the disclipline to live a life of purpose
doesn't mean you must turn green with envy. You ignorant beetles
don't even know what the Bushido is. You will never know because you
are ants. You revolt me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
note how one of them says: Good day to you sir. and the other says:
To the other jack asses on this board...
Hmmm...he must also have SERIOUS mood swings...and if he knew
ANYTHINg about the code, it says that he cannot disrespect his
enemiee, "master", or comrads...HMMMM...well, jasonvoorhees666666 is
his COMrade isnt he? if he isn't then he must be his enemy...and
jason voor didnt ever disrespect "J-Mag, the Samurai"....
all in all, "J-Mag, the Samurai (symbols clashing)" is a person who
has serious mood swings, a 42-year old fellow who lives in his
mother's basement, and is in the belief of Superman, Batman, the
Green Lantern, and think's hes in the Justice League, as J-Mag, the
Samurai (Symbols clashing). Btw, his so called "Master" is probably
the pirated DVD of the Last Samurai which he watches at least 1-2
times a day and practices all the moves on his plastic sword.
good day "J-Mag, the Samurai (symbols clashing)
"I am mature enough to know that your so called "mature" actions is
immature."-Unknown
macho morons
by - Hiei (Thu Feb 19 2004 20:17:01 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
"all in all, "J-Mag, the Samurai (symbols clashing)" is a person who

has serious mood swings, a 42-year old fellow who lives in his
mother's basement, and is in the belief of Superman, Batman, the
Green Lantern, and think's hes in the Justice League, as J-Mag, the
Samurai (Symbols clashing). Btw, his so called "Master" is probably
the pirated DVD of the Last Samurai which he watches at least 1-2
times a day and practices all the moves on his plastic sword. "
LMAO Im sorry but I had to laugh that, playin with his plastic
sword.btw where does it say that he is 28 years old?
macho morons
by - eejij11225 (Sun Feb 22 2004 16:21:39 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
oh the HAHAHAHA part of his thing, read my post CAREFULLY

immature."-Unknown
macho morons
by - Hiei (Sun Feb 22 2004 21:43:56 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
What?
[Post deleted]

by - vorpalcarrot (Sun Feb 22 2004 22:42:47 ) Ignore
UPDATED Sun Feb 22 2004 22:43:14
As an actual, real-life discordian...

I must say I'm glad to see a sense of humour under that kimono jmag.
This post is intended only to contribute to the conversation,not

attack anyone posting hereon.
by - eejij11225 (Wed Feb 25 2004 17:48:48 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
from an earlier J-Mag the samurai post :To the other jack asses on
this board I am not a teeneager, |I am 28|, have my own job and will
soon have my own place.
i hope that answers neotheone's question
immature."-Unknown
by - Hiei (Thu Feb 26 2004 07:56:39 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Huh? he cant be 28, the way he presents himself.

by - eejij11225 (Fri Feb 27 2004 22:29:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
lol
immature."-Unknown
[Post deleted]

macho morons
by - Dinosaur_jr_-2 (Sun Feb 29 2004 15:32:14 ) Ignore
This is f ucking lame now. Why are you all still arguing about this?
to jmagnolia the dick head

by - huggamutter (Mon Mar 1 2004 06:42:41 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
*beep* you jmagnolia, you *beep* bitch. you are such a *beep* pillow
biter that you mom smells of goat piss and you father is the
daughter of a hamster. you code is written by a coke bottle. thats
right every one wants you to shut the *beep* up you asslicking
shithead dick! you masturbate to pictures of grasshoppers. the only
bishido you know is to cut the cheese with a butterknife
macho morons
by - demandred_999 (Mon Mar 1 2004 11:44:33 ) Ignore
Agreed. I already proved that he is not a real life samurai, and it

should end there. Since im japanese, with great knowledge of its
histories, i don't see why this false samurai even bothers arguing.
The samurai code cannot function in todays world, and modifying it
was considered a bastardisation by the real samurai themselves.
Indeed
by - Hiei (Tue Mar 2 2004 07:11:36 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Your Japanese? you live in Japan? if so you would know more then he
does saying that he is a samurai. a bastardisation? why did Meiji
want the samurai gone anyways?
[Post deleted]
Re: Indeed
by - Hiei (Sat Mar 6 2004 11:25:15 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Well proof it, false samurai.

[Post deleted]

Re: You suckers...
by - ISd3d (Fri Mar 12 2004 00:38:37 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
This guy is full of BS. A "real-life" Samurai would never turn tail
and run away like this. You're no Samurai, just a BS-ing little
weasel who likes to play make-believe.
Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos

Re: You suckers...
by - Hiei (Fri Mar 12 2004 21:00:37 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Indeed
"I am Rikimaru, I am a shadow"-Tenchu;Wrath of Heaven

[Post deleted]

Re: Welcome! You're on SomethingAwful!!!
by - Sunarest (Sun Mar 14 2004 22:12:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
has anyone noticed that jmag only uses beatles and ants as insults??
you's think a true samurai would be a bit more eloquente in their
choice of words
[Post deleted]

Re: You suckers...
by - demandred_999 (Wed Mar 17 2004 00:24:58 ) Ignore
This guy is like the magnolia fan from the jay and silent bob movie.
They find him in real life after the credits are rolling, turns out
to be an 8 year old kid, and jay and silent bob just pummel him.
None of these people posting are the original jmagnolia either. All
their names are spelt with numerical digits instead of the first
name he posted with(they are spoofing him).
Yeah i saw that something awful thread too.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: You suckers...
by - Hiei (Fri Mar 19 2004 22:15:30 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
So then who is the orignal Jmag?

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]
[Post deleted]

by - ProkhorZakharov (Tue Mar 23 2004 05:43:04 ) Ignore
OMG penneym, you reminded me! Oh, but do I want to be a Roman

Proconsul! Of course, that was something that you had to be born
into, too... :-(
I know! I'll be a Roman Prefect, then! If I can't be a member of the
1st class Roman elite, I'll be a member of the 2nd class Roman
elite! You could become a Roman Prefect through military prowess and
success (kinda like knights), so, I can do that! I'll also be a
governor of a small Roman province, too...
YES! It is all becomming clear now.
As a real life Roman Prefect, I am the governor of some small Roman
province in North Africa!
I live my life by the unwritten laws of the Roman Prefect. I have
huge parties/orgies all the time committed to wassail and distemper,
and I indulge myself by watching the (often brutal) circus "games."
I am also very decadent, and don't really believe in my gods that I
got from the Greeks, but do admit that they make good statues. And I
wear a breastplate with a leather skirt, and a red-plumed helm.
Re: You suckers...
by - demandred_999 (Fri Mar 26 2004 20:53:56 ) Ignore
Look at the original posters name, then compare it to the second guy
using the zero instead of the letter "o"
Either way, this thread was laughable. Everyone knows real samurai
are extinct. Follow the code as closely as modern times allow, but
altering the code to fit modern times makes you Not a samurai at
all.
[Post deleted]
Indeed , demandred_999 -Sangi
by - Hiei (Sat Mar 27 2004 22:32:18 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I agree, but I noticed that Yakuza follow some aspects of

samurai/bushido, like in movies like Brother and Showdown in Little
Tokyo. yeah samurai become extinct during the Meiji era. so its a
difference between the jmags? BTW demandred_999, anata wa nihonjin
desuka?
by - trips- (Tue Mar 30 2004 12:09:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Alright, jmagnolia, that's quite enough. We all believe that you

believe you're a samurai, now quit letting others belittle you.
And to everybody else, wait to belittle jmagnolia!
Re: Indeed , demandred_999 -Sangi
by - J_magn0lia (Tue Mar 30 2004 19:20:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
AAAGGGHHHHH
they tried to censor me, but they can't ever silence the real deal.
Re: Indeed , demandred_999 -Sangi

by - Hiei (Fri Apr 16 2004 19:23:29 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Shut it, wannabe samurai..

by - ChrisL138 (Tue Apr 20 2004 09:52:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Fool, you spelled "imbecile" wrong. I'm laughing at you. Please keep
posting because you're a comedy goldmine.
by - matthewing (Thu Apr 22 2004 13:05:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
he's no actor;
he's a character.
by - utstimpy (Thu Apr 22 2004 17:55:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
THIS THREAD RULES!!

[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - NobleHam (Thu Apr 22 2004 21:19:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You can be made Samurai by your liege lord, or you are born Samurai.
It is not an order, it is not a "way of life." Samurai generally
followed bushido, but they did not become Samurai by following it.
All people in Japan were expected to follow most of the common
courtesies and intricacies outlined in bushido. Tom Cruise -may-
have been made Samurai by Katsumoto, but it is never stated in the
movie. The name, "The Last Samurai" refers to the group of men who
opposed the corrupt Meiji government, not to one singular man. The
Japanese do not have plural modifiers, so Samurai = noble/nobles.
~ He who has no signature.
by - US_Ken_Fan (Thu Apr 22 2004 21:24:57 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Thank you...can you believe how many people do not get the concept
of The Last Samurai? No matter how many times you say it refers to
the samurai's stand against the government, they just *refuse* to
believe you, and I don't know why. You don't even need the backgroud
of history to understand this (at least in my opinion), the movie
kept away from complicated details and excess baggage, so I cannot
see how some become so confused. You know who the "last samurai"
refers to when Nathan is first hired, I think...they ones he is
supposed to help defeat!
Ken Watanabe "Katsumoto":
http://www.tmsdancer.com/ken_watanabe
by - coldmail (Sat Apr 24 2004 16:06:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Rules a lot. People just don't read the entire thread, and keeps
refuting the theory that there is a real-life samurai in Seattly. I
believe he is a Samurai. If he wants to mastering me (as a real-life
white belt brasilian Jiujitsu fighter), I will be honoured
[Post deleted]

by - TrueTurk (Mon Apr 26 2004 14:06:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Wow.....burned.
Samurai is a social class that no longer exists..
by - US_Ken_Fan (Mon Apr 26 2004 17:15:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
...therefore, no one is a samurai. Samurai class was abolished

during the Meiji Restoration in the 1860's!
[Post deleted]

by - liquid__ex (Wed Apr 28 2004 18:02:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
you guys DO know this is the internet, right. nothings real here. so
your all a bunch of morons, while jmagnolia opperates at a higher
plane then the rest of you. HAHA.
I used to make fun of this situation, but now i applaude you, j.
Bravo! Bravo!
by - US_Ken_Fan (Wed Apr 28 2004 21:56:38 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
JAPANESE HAS NO PLURAL VERSIONS OF NOUNS!!! The word is the same

whether it is 1 samurai or many samurai. This is even true for some
English nouns, but for Japanese this is always the case.
This guy has been pulling everyone's leg for over a year, he even
admitted that in another post. He just wanted to see how many people
fell for his "real-life samurai" joke and see how long this thread
would go. (There are no samurai...the samurai was a social class,
and it was abolished in the 1860's...so, unless "j" is almost 150
years old, he is not even a "former" samurai...and as you can see,
he is not even Japanese, or he would not post such a basic error
about the language.)
Enough already, "j"!
by - Hiei (Fri Apr 30 2004 19:13:26 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Of course, he isnt. he's some obsessed kid over seeing one too many
samurai movies.
by - demandred_999 (Fri Apr 30 2004 19:40:13 ) Ignore
Ok mr real life samurai, i have a news flash for you.

Your not a samurai. The samurai are extinct. You may follow the
code, to a certain extent, but your not samurai.
I heard you say that you have altered the code to accomodate modern
day life, which in itself is sacriliege.
#1, you have to be japanese and have been raised as a samurai to be
a samurai, and to dedicate yourself entirely to the code. Including
seppuku. Seppuku was used whenever a samurai thought he has fallen
from honor, even the small things. A lesser method of apologising
was cutting off a finger if honor did not require seppuku to be
restored. I seriously doubt you would do eithe of these things. And
yes, they are required. If you stray from or think that yo can
modify the old rules in any way to suit the 20th century, than your
not a real samurai.
#2 you must be willing to fight a man with a machine gun with only
archaic weapons. Yes that rule still applies. Samurai found the use
of all firearms dishonorable. You would also have to be willing to
fight him straight up without sneaking up on him because samurai
refused to do such things. If someone was a hundred paces away with
a gun, you would have to walk towards him in the open, without
sneaking, and fight him, giving him ample opportunities to shoot
you. I doubt you would do this either.
The only reason ninja were effective at all in the old days was
because they did not follow bushido. Everyone nowdays is a ninja.
Being a ninja in japan meant nothing except that you would use
whatever and do whatever it took to get the job done. Period. they
were normal guys who did not follow the samurai code.
Im japanese and i was raised knowing more about their culture and
it's history than you could ever know. Even the japanese
accknowledge the samurai as being extinct, and they should know.
You can follow the code all you want, but because you said you
modified the code to suit the modern day world, you have
automatically disregarded the possibility of you even being samurai.
Don't call yourself samurai. Just say you follow the code. That was,
you won't be regarded as a liar, which anyone and everyone should
regard anyone claiming to be samurai.
by - US_Ken_Fan (Fri Apr 30 2004 20:26:05 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Fri Apr 30 2004 20:28:39
you have to be japanese and have been raised as a samurai to be a

samurai...Including seppuku. Seppuku was used whenever a samurai
thought he has fallen from honor...A lesser method of apologising
was cutting off a finger...And yes, they are required
1) A lesser samurai would need the permission of his master to

commit seppuku, and it was not often granted. At least, he was
supposed to have permission.
2) Seppuku was outlawed before the samurai were, so in fact there
are times when seppuku by samurai was prohibited.
3) "Bushido" is a set of moral and practical principles that changed
and evolved over time...these principles did not achieve any
standard form until late in Japanese history, and then were finally
written down.
4) The major focus of "bushido" was not seppuku, but rather; 1)
compassion and practicality, 2) loyalty, and 3) a willingness to die
without hesitation and placing no worth on one's own life, so that
they would not hesitate to serve their samurai masters or their
daimyo in any capacity.
5) Samurai could be ordered to commit seppuku if they were accused
of a crime against the government.
Saigo Takamori (leader of the Satsuma Rebellion) had asked his
daimyo for permission to commit seppuku if the man perished, and his
request was denied, so he did not commit seppuku in that instance.
However, he later tried to commit seppuku (along with a monk) the
2nd time he was banished, because even though he was serving his
daimyo, he felt shamed by being called a traitor by the government,
and was also very depressed. He did not succeed in his suicide
attempt, however. Because this monk did not believe in violence,
Saigo felt he would dishonor the monk by cutting himself, so he and
the monk (who Saigo has been trying to protect) agreed to throw
themselves off the boat into the ocean, which was very cold at that
time of year. They were sucessfully pulled out, but only after
spending several minutes in the water, and they were frozen with
their arms locked around each other. Saigo survived the hypothermia,
but the monk soon perished.
by - ruffryders702 (Mon May 3 2004 20:06:22 ) Ignore
But I thought Tom was the "Last Samurai"?

[Post deleted]

by - Hiei (Wed May 5 2004 20:53:44 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
And if he did fight a guy with a firearm, you better hope your
katana/sword can reflect bullets which it cant.
by - SpiritOfTheWolf (Thu May 6 2004 00:31:04 ) Ignore
So he's not a teenager... he's worse... he's a guy in his late 20's
who STILL lives at home.
by - J_magn0lia (Fri May 7 2004 23:46:23 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
It is obvious from your blatant indignance that you can't handel a

katana or a sword. You should stick to holding your questions till
the professional samurai can answer them. You must learn so much
before you can even touch the sword. And never touch the masters
sword. some one tried to touch my sword last wedensday (not a sexual
innuendo) i beat him with the blunt end so as not to kill him but to
give him a reminder not to touch my sword or any sword that was not
his again. we must only touch our own swords (also not sexual
innuendo) its just out of respect and tradition.
[Post deleted]

by - BearBlue (Sun May 9 2004 14:39:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Wow! I didn't know Samurai's were regulars at the IMDB message

boards...
by - TermlnatriX (Sun May 9 2004 19:05:44 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
If you're a Samurai, how about, instead of talking about it? Prove
it by taking a picture of yourself in full gear, sword, and a note
in your hand, saying "Hi this is jmagnolia, I am a real-life Samurai
poser" That should sum up this whole pointless thread.
by - schweinway (Sun May 9 2004 23:49:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
As an actual, real-life NINJA, I can say this movie paints an unfair

and wholly negative portrait of my way of life and my people.
Furthermore, if you were here, I would definitely explode a
smokebomb in your face and give you a roundhouse kick
by - CringedPeerz (Sun May 9 2004 23:53:58 ) Ignore
Actually, the Roundhouse Kick is an American fighting technique, and

it would be extremely dishonorable, even for a ninja, to use in any
kind of combat situation. You are a liar and a fraud.
by - schweinway (Sun May 9 2004 23:57:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You lie! You have offended my honor. Feel the taste of my exploding
smoke bomb!!
by - tripleo (Wed May 12 2004 02:53:53 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I can't help but think how many noble Samurai sit at their PC with a
box of twinkies and a case of YooHoo and argue with people on the
internet that they are in fact samurai.
I'm thinking you may very well BE "the Last Samurai" of the
Cleveland, Ohio local Computer Club chapter of the Samurai.
If you get schooled in an online duel of words and are defeated in
debate, do you impale yourself with deck of Magic the Gathering
cards out of shame?
by - demandred_999 (Sat May 15 2004 22:52:39 ) Ignore
LOL.
That's the best sum up of the original poster i have heard so far.
I love how online nerds, who likely are having problems with real
life(I.E, getting beat up in high school), create this fantasy world
for themselves on the internet to make themselves feel important and
actually begin believing some of it.
Jim carrey said it best.
Max "mommy says true beauty is on the inside!"
Carrey, "That's just something ugly people say"
Beauty on inside?
by - jrfranklin01 (Mon May 17 2004 21:25:23 ) Ignore
I thought the only thing beauty-on-the-inside would get you is laid

with the lights off.
Re: Beauty on inside?
by - Hiei (Sun May 30 2004 23:38:54 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
LMAO this post has cheered me up on many of my sad days of feeling

depress, it never fails to entertain me! now you have a guy who
thinks hes a ninja? boy you really been playing too much Tenchu.
by - funktastical-1 (Tue Jun 1 2004 22:16:46 ) Ignore
I just gotta put my 2 cents in, i mean this thread is just

ridiculous.
You believe you are a Samurai because you follow the code? Gimme a
break.
That does not make you a Samurai. Samurai were warriors, that was
all they did. That was their profession within a feudal society.
1) WE DO NOT LIVE IN A FEUDAL SOCIETY. Especially if you live in
America. It doesn't make sense.
2) You are DEFINITELY NOT a Warrior. It's just not a profession, I
wish I could tell you it was and that you can really be a samurai,
but it's not, and you can't.
3) Samurai don't really exist anymore, while their belief and honour
system does, they do not. There are still remnants of the ideologies
in Japan(BTW, I recommend everyone who has ever even thought about
it, go to Japan, and not just Tokyo, it is a beautiful country with
an incredible history) but samurai do not exist.
I don't mean to be rude or insulting, but this is really pathetic,
and I find it rather insulting. I myself have been a practitioner of
martial arts for over 17 years(I'm 22, do the math guys), including
Karate (Shurin-Gi), Tai-Chi, some grappling, and kendo. I do not go
to a gym and do it on mats, I go to a classical dojo and train, just
as would be done centuries ago, I speak japanese upon entering the
dojo and it is all very ritualistic. I have an extensive japanese
weapon collection, including 2 150 year old katanas.Also, I try to
follow the code of the samurai as much as I can in my life in order
to better myself.
......BUT, am I a samurai? No. Of course not. That doesn't make any
sense. Would I like to be? Of course, but buddy, it ain't gonna
happen. You just make yourself look foolish.

by - funktastical-1 (Tue Jun 1 2004 22:20:50 ) Ignore
Oh by the way, you can become a Samurai if you're not one, but it is
very difficult. The same way a man born into a lower rank of the
society, usually will grow up and be in that rank, but very rarely
one can rise above it and become a higher ranked Samurai.
Case point....Saigo Takamori, leader of the samurai rebellion, was
born into a low rank samurai family, but managed to become a very
high ranking samurai.
by - kos71ant (Thu Jun 3 2004 00:01:41 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am sorry to say so, jmagnolia, but it seems to me that you only

follow the code of the BULSHITO and not Bushido.
The more I learn, the less I understand
by - xnorwaks (Thu Jun 3 2004 17:17:53 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Sounds like crap to me

by - Hiei (Thu Jun 3 2004 19:29:50 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Funk, I am also a practationer of martial arts, Muay Thai Kick

Boxing, Karate,Tae Kwon Doo, Jujitsu and Kung Fu.
[Post deleted]

by - Hiei (Fri Jun 4 2004 13:33:29 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Bet you that theyre the same person,too.

[Post deleted]

by - Hiei (Fri Jun 4 2004 20:51:13 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
LOL I must admit too, they are some entertaining posts!!

by - BudWisor1012 (Sun Jun 6 2004 15:22:48 ) Ignore
I'll be honest, I gave up reading the 50,000 posts about 1/4 of the
way, but aaanyways...
If one follows Bushido, where does the respect come in calling those
who doubt you names and taunting them? Bushido is basically the
Eastern version of English Chivalry. You should accept their
disbelief since only you know the truth, not trying to prove it with
small online-posting words.
Also, Samurai don't go out revlealing themselves like this, like on
an online message board. Sure they're not the uber-secretive Ninja,
but they do their proving on the battlefield, until then they are
ordinary people.
And to relate this to the movie which I'm obviously assuming started
this whole topic, notice when they're in the Samurai's village,
besides training and those with the roles of
lookouts/guards/important figureheads, no one else is carrying a
sword. They are perfecting their craft and raising families, not
going into Tokyo shouting that they're Samurai.
And as for Cruise's character BEING Samurai, they never say!
Obviously he wasn't born into the culture and society, but he was
welcomed and basically ended up being the brother that was lost to
Katsumoto. So was he welcomed into their society and became a
Samurai, or was he just a new friend and ally that was helping them
for their beliefs? That may be the only real debate the movie should
raise.
So enough ranting, I apoligize for a mile long post, but that's my
two (long) cents.
...
Quick thought...hmmmm...I play Final Fantasy XI Online (MMORPG) and
in the game I'm a Samurai...perhaps that is what makes me one in
real life too... ^^;;
by - j-vandekamp (Tue Jun 8 2004 01:12:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hey you samurai, you know what? I just read this great body building
book by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and guess what....? I just came to
realize that I am Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! Too bad that I have to
move all the way to California now :S Anyway, the point is that you
thinking that you're a samurai is even more stupid than my
idea...LOL Sorry man, gotta go to the gym I guess
by - KrowbOy (Fri Jun 11 2004 03:05:32 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
wasn't gonna say anything until mr. jmagnolia pulled his own card by
yelling and raising cain at things...but these posts are
hilarious...so I guess I need to be thinking him and everyone else
for that. j"magnolia"...I can see ya now sitting in your dark
basement ,with your samurai garb, on in the recliner watching tom
cruise flicks all the time...bet ya love top gun. anyways I have a
confession to make...from the dawn of time I came...moving slowely
down through the centuries...I am an immortal....and pretty handy
with the sword...so u Mr. Samurai...I challenge u to a duel...
the Highlander has spoken....

by - bigbaerdanny (Thu Jun 24 2004 21:37:23 ) Ignore
You really are an idiot, jmag. Clearly you are not real simply for
the fact that you keep going onto different boards and bullshitting
about the same things. Nice try, dipshit.
by - Hiei (Fri Jul 9 2004 14:51:14 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
You are? cant wait til XII comes out.

by - zack007 (Wed Jul 21 2004 15:01:05 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
u know, in the news a while back there was this guy who came into a
supermarket with a katana and a trench coat and sliced some people
there. Unfortunately, this guy didnt plan on GUNS being present, so
now he's dead. lol He was the last samurai.
by - tweeter149 (Thu Jul 29 2004 10:53:03 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Its very hypicrytical of you to blast Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai
as not being a true showing of modern day samurai's on the Ghost Dog
message board but here cite it as reference as to how you live. So
which is it?
by - ffordegroupie (Mon Aug 2 2004 21:59:52 ) Ignore
I am a knight of the round table, because I studied Arthurian

legend, I own a sword that I bought at the actual Renaissance
Festival, and because I memorized the code of chivalry.
Good lord, this astonishing thread is still going. ;)
[Post deleted]

by - ritual_funk (Mon Aug 9 2004 00:57:00 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
j-magnolia, you are not, nor will you ever be a samurai.

keep dreaming.
by - NastyNipple (Wed Aug 11 2004 08:59:00 ) Ignore
I'm sry for asking pherhaps an stupid question, after reading almost
everything in this topic I guess I'm allowed :p But ok... *uch uch*
wannabee-samuraiguy, I'm wondering, how's ur sex-life?
by - overdrawnprocess (Thu Aug 12 2004 02:26:01 )
.... didn't know Samurai frequent message boards.

by - jhetski0925 (Sat Aug 14 2004 21:42:15 ) Ignore
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i really missed talking to jmagnolia. hes
everywhere.
wahahaha great.
im a jedi...
[Post deleted]

by - paintrpolo (Sun Aug 15 2004 20:24:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
quote from the amazing ninja boy a looong time ago

"I am not a complex man"
no kidding
by - Gooyers38 (Sun Aug 15 2004 22:10:20 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I believe you jmag!! Oh God, how I want to BELIEVE!!! Teach me the

ways of the samurai, o great warrior! If I can't be a medieval
Japanese warrior, I don't want to be anything at all.
OK, dude, if you're still out there, get help. Or get a gun and
pretend that you're a hitman, or something.
by - vorpalcarrot (Tue Aug 17 2004 09:44:10 ) Ignore
And I am Pope Vorpalcarrot, the Sunken Buddha of the Paratheo

Anametamystikhood of Eris, Esoteric.
You may now all genuflect before my imense, holy member, for I bring
Hot Dogs and Buns to the masses on Friday!
Praise Eris!
All Hail Discordia!
No, really, genuflect, ya cheeky bastards.
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/

by - jandslegate (Fri Aug 20 2004 18:53:17 ) Ignore
all this mention of Samurai code and following Bushido. That's fine
and all. However, I seem to recall two things...Samurai class did
follow the Bushido Code, but the major portion of their
"Samurai-ness" came from the religious practice of Shinto. I haven't
really heard any mention of this. Secondly, the samurai came about
in the first place as hired enforcers for the local Shogunate. So,
unless you are the hired Samurai hand of say... Donald Trump, I
don't see how you could be getting very far. If you wish to study
Samurai techniques such as sword techniques, various hand to hand
techniques etc. very well. It is impossible in the world of modern
society to 'be a Samurai' especially in America because the US
government doesn't take to kindly to people assuming control of the
law. They tend to frown on militia's and such. By the way, you might
ask how I know all of this. Well, I'll tell you but you must keep it
too yourself. I used my state of the art super computer, located in
the secret cave lair beneath my stately manor in Gotham. Trust me
the Batcomputer never lies...
by - zacharia7 (Mon Aug 23 2004 19:52:58 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
jmagnolia - just by reading your responses to your criticizers

reveals to the world just how much you are unlike a samurai. You've
reduced yourself to petty arguments with most people should just
ignore and pass by. As for your detractors, they're not doing any
better.
by - Julius23 (Tue Aug 24 2004 10:57:19 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
*beep* u white boy the Japs wouldve rejected u as a samurai i hate u

white ass americans always *beep* around in other cultures cause ur
kind lost its own!
by - whos_that_guy (Wed Sep 1 2004 13:32:48 ) Ignore
i have to agree with julius... especially what he said about the

americans,well done!!!! anyway i havent seen jmagnolia respond in
awhile so i assume he is sick of the abuse but anyway,there is no
way your a samurai just because you have a sword and are skilled in
martial arts,its just some fantasy your livin out, next week you`l
probably be a viking or someone out of the matrix cause i think you
saw some japanese film and got caught in the moment. samurai
wouldn`t boast about being samurai,they`d be proud but they wouldnt
go around sayin it,seriously grow up and get a life for yourself. i
cant stand people who go around embracing other peoples cultures,its
pathetic,you are who you are so stop tryin to be someone else,that
just goes to show your not a samurai,a true samurai wouldn`t turn
his back on his own culture and beliefs to pursue someone elses,i
assume your an american,so why cant you be an american,are you that
ashamed of your own country.im from ireland therefore im proud to be
irish.fair enough people can practice martial arts all they
want,besides you`d need it these days. where im from you`d get your
head kicked in walkin across the road to the shop. i bet you jus
deciced you`d say your a samurai to try an gain respect or try to
pull a chick, but i think it kinda backfired on you there chief,from
what i can see you`ve gotten a torent of dogs abuse which you have
to admit you had it coming....as i said before..GET A LIFE
Re: As an actual, real-life member of Blockbuster
by - Conagher-7 (Fri Sep 3 2004 10:56:29 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
As they say around here, "Those who live by the sword get shot by
those who don't."
Seems to me that sums up the state of affairs for the samurai class
after about 1945.
Re: As an actual, real-life smartass
User | Report Abuse
Just out of idle curiosity, do you have a mullet?

And by "hav[ing] my own place," are you referring to a mobile home,
and, if so, is it a single- or a double-wide?
Also, if one of the standards of Bushido is that one will die for
his master, why is it such a secret who that master for whom you
should readily give your life is?
I'm no expert on Japanese history, but I know enough that one did
not wake up one day and declare himself a samurai. If you were a
farmer's son, you would be a farmer, and so would your son. One
didn't easily move among castes.
And finally, how much public embarassment does it take before you
will be forced to commit ritual suicide to preserve your honor?
User | Report Abuse
<<*beep* u white boy the Japs wouldve rejected u as a samurai i hate

u white ass americans always *beep* around in other cultures cause
ur kind lost its own!>>
It's incredibly ironic to hear a defender of "Jap" culture say this,
as a great deal of Japanese culture (perhaps the majority) is built
upon Chinese roots. Japanese borrowed quite heavily from Chinese
culture, much more heavily than American culture has borrowed from
Japanese.
*sigh*
by - vorpalcarrot (Sat Sep 4 2004 14:04:51 ) Ignore
Well posted.
I also find it ironic how many intentionally offensive, poorly
written posts are written by people complaining about how offensive
and ignorant Americans are. Bigotry is bigotry, folks. Not all
Americans are uneducated, xenophobic, nationalists. Just like not
all Brits have bad teeth, not all French are snail-sucking cowards,
not all "Japs" (sic) are ninjas, and not all Russians are criminal
scum. Quit complaining about stereotypes by spreading more sodding
stereotypes.
A jug of wine
A leg of lamb
And thou!
Beside me,
Whistling in
the darkness.
FNORD
And it would be highly offensive for you to call a Japanese
person a Jap
by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Sat Sep 4 2004 22:08:24 )
Yall still talking about this? geez. and I mean, thats just like a
Japanese saying an American is a gaijin or any other race for that
matter.
This is the longest post I have ever seen!!!!!
by - danshibleet (Sun Sep 5 2004 01:37:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
OMF, I have to tell people about this.

...To get to the top you must get of your bottom...
by - dogfactorie (Sat Sep 11 2004 01:15:01 ) Ignore
"WAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. THERE ARE NO MORE SAMURAIS"
there is however, an american ninja. i saw it in a movie
Deliver me from clever art
by - zsbartels (Sat Sep 11 2004 07:21:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
An "IV" league school?

I guess they didn't teach spelling.
I think the kids need to get off the message boards and go to bed so
that the grownups can have a conversation.
[Post deleted]

Re: This is the longest post I have ever seen!!!!!
by - J_magn0lia (Tue Sep 28 2004 20:20:16 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Man what a bunch of losers. The last samurai came out in theaters
over a year ago, adn since then I have bougth dvd. I watched it many
times and it still is very moving but very infuriating that so much
of the poeple who responded to the original posts don't even know
what those things that are spoken of by those who have only joined
most recently.
Of course, nothing new is being said. No one is bringing up any
points that havn't been thught of mby many people before them. it is
simply ideotic to think so.
The reason you all continue to write in is not about samurai or non
samurai ness. sure, us sword wielding, bushido living, shinto
prayin', anglo-japs, frequent message broards to get broads words to
yall.
You just want to be part of the largest message board on the web. so
don't bbe giving ewachother no mess about what other people said.
Your all losers. we're all losers. just quit taking. shut up.
you imbichiles are so stupid i don't want to talk to y'all any more.
so this will be my last post ever.

"America's Place to Work,
America's Place to Eat "
by - whos_that_guy (Wed Sep 29 2004 07:07:39 ) Ignore
somehow i dont think the whole lot of us got together before this
board started and said we`l make the largest post ever,its cause
what you said made people believe how stupid YOU really are. and
whats with the end of your post? "i dont want to talk to y`all any
more"........HOW OLD ARE YOU,5?
by - J_magn0lia (Sun Oct 3 2004 16:36:36 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Dude, do i need to speak friggin foriegn language to you.

Imbicile...
Y'all ain't a sign of juvinille speak. It's dialect. mo fracky.
idota.
by - whos_that_guy (Tue Oct 5 2004 13:31:23 ) Ignore
em........WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD DID YOU JUST SAY? i didnt

understand a single word of your last post
[Post deleted]
UPDATED Tue Oct 5 2004 23:44:43

by - J_magn0lia (Wed Oct 6 2004 05:34:25 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
sniff**Sniff. (all sentamental and stuff) that would make a great

movie.
Oh yeah, it was a movie. The Last Samurai. It is not my fault
samurai's didn't have computers. It was just the time they were born
into. It's not like cave men had tools either. their stuff was made
out of rocks and stuff. It is only in the way of the samurai that
one can hope to understand the samurai. This being true, than it is
hardly reasonable to suspect that one that is not a samurai could
ever be the judge of one that is. I took about a 4-5 month break
from posting here, not jmagnolia but J_magn0lia, and it is sad to
see how many people kept it up. LIke I have said before. LET IT GO
GUYS> LET THIS BOARD DIE> DON"T POST ANY MORE> this is it.
This will be my last post ever, let it be yours too.
by - stephenaott2004 (Thu Oct 7 2004 12:30:46 ) Ignore
I'm an actual tooth fairy.

by - J_magn0lia (Sat Oct 9 2004 14:37:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Not funyn
by - exploitedyouth (Sat Oct 9 2004 16:09:48 ) Ignore
UPDATED Sat Oct 9 2004 16:16:38
Man so much for your last post, but anyways I believe you are an
agent of the Samurai as I am an agent of MI6, agent 007, Bond, James
Bond, shaken not stirred. I have killed many because I follow the
way of the super-duper secret spy. You should join me with the way
you like to handle big bulky.... katanas, we could rid the world of
all evil geniuses bent on world destruction. God I need some sleep.
P.S. Do all Samurai sit around eating popcorn watching Samurai
movies and throwing Shurikens at the screen when it unaccurately
portrays them? Thats what I do when I watch Bond movies and they
portray me wrong, except I shoot it with my silenced Walther PPK.
As an actual, boastful real-life samurai
by - Hey_Nielsen (Sun Oct 10 2004 01:17:29 ) Ignore
well i dont. popcorn,bah. (samurai don't use shuriken) anyway,one

would come to expect that we all should accept that modern samurai
do exist.i won't bore you all with the details(look up J-mags
previous outings with the seven samurai board) although im rather
getting sick of of J-Mags boastfulness (is that a word? oh well) one
can be a modern samurai by following the seven samurai principles,so
in which case you could say im a modern Samurai too( again read my
other post on the 7 samurai board).note the fact that i say modern,
and not a 16th century samurai unless you have the backround,
blah,blah,blah.
Re: As an actual, boastful real-life samurai
by - nomansland (Sun Oct 10 2004 14:40:55 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
lol, and im a ninja!

i must destroy you j magnolia cause unless my sword tastes blood
after i draw it i have shamed myself!
NINJAAAAAAA CHOP!
by - NeoLeo (Mon Oct 11 2004 14:01:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You are incorrect, sir. "Roundhouse" is an American name for an

element that is common to many Far-Eastern fighting techniques.
Whether or not a Ninja would use this move may be debateable, as
would the existence of a "true" Ninja at this point in history, but
the Roundhouse did not start in the States.
Do your research next time before you start labelling others as a
"liar" or a "fraud."
"You came here in that? You're braver than I thought."

by - J_magn0lia (Mon Oct 11 2004 15:50:57 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
nto funny
by - exploitedyouth (Wed Oct 13 2004 08:11:49 ) Ignore
I disagree, I think it's very funny.

Support Iraqi militants and the communist party; vote Kerry.
by - J_magn0lia (Thu Oct 14 2004 20:16:39 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
No one asked for your appinion you trans vested Ite.

by - exploitedyouth (Fri Oct 15 2004 07:19:29 ) Ignore
Ouch i was just called a fake word by a person who thinks he's a
samurai because he watched a few movies about them. The tears coming
to my eyes won't stop.
P.S. they're tears because I'm laughing so hard.
Support Iraqi militants and the communist party; vote Kerry.
by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Sat Oct 16 2004 10:59:45 )
He's back again? Jmag..

by - ipmorrison (Sun Oct 17 2004 15:05:38 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Sun Oct 17 2004 15:14:37
Some points to take notice of relating to thread mistakes:

- Karate was never practiced by the Samurai. Samurai were from
Japan. Karate is from Okinawa. The open-hand martial art practiced
by the Samurai was Jujutsu/Jujitsu (Eastern and Western Japanese
spellings.)
- No real Samurai would call other people names like this guy has
done. I tis against the code of Bushido.
- Bushido is much longer than a few lines.
I studied Daito Ryu Jujutsu, the ancestral style of the Takeda clan,
but I don't believe i'm a Samurai. I just try to keep a bit of
Japanese culture and history alive. I own copies of Bushido,
Hagakure, The Book of Five Rings and The Unfettered Mind, plus
several books on Japanese Feudal history. I also have a daisho
(Katana and Wakizashi) and a tanto, yet I am not a Samurai. I think
this guy needs help.
By boasting, backbiting, and arguing, J_Magn0lia has shamed himself.
You are not worthy of the name Samurai. You are like the man who was
obsessed with dragons. He wore a dragon on his do (breastplate) and
his mon (coat of arms) and decorated his house with dragons.
However, when one day a dragon came to his bedroom window, the man
died of heart failure. You boast about what you pretend to be, yet
you do not have the heart or spirit to be a true bushi (warrior).
"You are not a strong enough enemy for me, but your words are so
courteous that I shall give you an arrow. Take it. It will be a
great mark of honour for you in this world and also something to
remember me by in the next."
~ Minamoto Tametomo, Samurai Archer, the Hogen Incident 1156

by - CringedPeerz (Sun Oct 17 2004 21:55:18 ) Ignore
Wow, I was totally being serious. Good call, dude. Boy, is my face
red. You know, that wasn't even my friend I was replying to, I swore
it was a real life ninja talking about how he'll explode smoke bombs
in peoples faces for arguing with them.
I'm sorry, sir. It appears I have once again have given a headache
to the productive adults of America. Please forgive me as you
continue on your happy, fulfilling life of combing over all of my
internet exploits.
by - ipmorrison (Tue Oct 19 2004 09:31:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
As an amateur student of Japanese Feudal culture and history some

more points -
- Samurai did not come about as hired enforcers for the Shogunate.
The first Samurai (Bushi) preceded the first Shogunate - a military
state. (although "Shogun" was used as the temporary name for a
commander during campaigns as far back as the 8th century AD.) The
first Samurai were, in fact, mounted archers whose "yumi" (longbow)
was a much more important weapon to them than the sword (katana,
tachi - these didn't reach prime importance until 15th/16th
centuries).
- To be a true samurai, the warrior would not have to follow Shinto.
Many samurai were Buddhist or Christian (see Nobunaga Oda)
- The real "Last Samurai" was a warrior by the name of Saigo
Takamori, who headed the Satsuma Rebellion. The character of
Katsumoto in the movie was based on this key historical figure.
(even down to the shaved head - the sign of a priest which Takamori
was.)
by - J_magn0lia (Wed Oct 20 2004 00:53:42 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
nope
by - Gyaldhart (Wed Oct 20 2004 19:28:27 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Hey, come on guys, stop bashing jmagnolia so harshly, if he says he

is a samurai, i believe him, after all, i am a JEDI MASTER and i
have my own lightsaber (green, it represents wisdom). I use the
force to do good and i fight against the dark side of it.
Well, anyways, after reading these posts, i realized that there are
many important personalities here. We have a samurai, a superhero,
and i thought i even saw a ninja guy around, and of course, a jedi
(me); so I thought about Comet Boy's idea (the superhero guy) and i
think its a great idea to make a superhero team with us, weo could
even call ourselves the Fabulous 4 or something like that. Oh well,
please reply this message, i want to defend the galaxy and i could
use some help.
Thanks ^_~
Oh! and i almost forgot.....May the Force be with you.
by - regis_accnt (Thu Oct 21 2004 04:37:49 ) Ignore
I'm of Japanese descent so I have some background here. My family

owns 2 Samurai swords and 1 Samurai armor.
And I think for anyone to claim to be a Samurai today is stupid.
You can be a Samurai enthusiast or whatever you want, but I just

find it offensive for some goofy fag over the internet to claim to
be a Samurai.
Samurai do not go onto the internet and claim to be Samurai, they're
not attentiong hogging dorks with no lives. Stfu.
by - J_magn0lia (Fri Oct 22 2004 05:44:52 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Of japanese descent? of japanese descent? What that gives you some

authority to talk about who and who is not samurai. you must be of
inbred descent.
2 samurai swords huh? and and the furniture is called samurai
armoire, not armor.
finally ...stfu? that dosn't make you japanese. that shows your like
seven years old dude. grow up, then we'll talk.
Except I don't want to talk to any of you ever again.
This is my third and final post.

by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Fri Oct 22 2004 12:32:25 )
Grow up, Jmag..

by - kaoruchan100 (Fri Oct 22 2004 19:41:06 ) Ignore
Oh.. my.. god...

HAHAHAHHAHAHA. My sides hurt.
by - Bloody_Duo (Sun Oct 24 2004 14:14:37 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
dude you do know thats not that same jmag that posted years ago
abouot being a samuri right? And you guys call the real Jmag
dissillunsioned you have people running around using his name just
to look cool or funny
by - J_magn0lia (Mon Nov 1 2004 00:14:24 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
dude, if you doubt the validity or legitamacy of my you obviously

havn't read the whole post, maybe you should do some research befor
eyou go actin like you know everything fool.
by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Wed Nov 3 2004 00:15:22 )
What do you mean its not the same Jmag??

by - Snowman_Mcknives (Mon Nov 22 2004 02:43:48 )
Jim Morrisson, though he's not doing too much walking nowadays
"What they do't seems to realise is that its the meek who're the
problem in the first place
by - J_magn0lia (Thu Dec 9 2004 08:36:12 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I don't mean to start up this thread again, but since it has died
down I feel it is only appropriate that I be the first post and I be
the last.
For akording to the hagakuru, he who is the first and last is also
the alpha and zeta.
This shall be my last post EVER.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

Re: My god people....
by - J_magn0lia (Fri Dec 10 2004 14:29:09 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I have a little secret. I sometimes use different aliases so that I

can argue with mysefl. some of them are more mature than j_mag.
however, anyone has read the entire origianl thread before a third
of my posts were deleated, they would already know this.
I don't think this i my first time confessing this, but
it is my last post ever.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - jmagnolia_ (Sun Dec 26 2004 15:30:10 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I'll give you "arrogant" - it's time for all you non-believers to
pay the piper. This is an ancient Japanese custom that requires me
to systematically hunt you down and 'open a can'... and not just any
can either... a BIG can - the kind of can you need industrial
strength machinery to open.
You should by now know to show the Samurai some respect - do not
think because our transmissions are electronic that I cannot find
you. I can mentally probe your identity and pound you into next
week. My power is enormous. Humility does not feature in my awesome
composition. Do not cross me or you will find yourself betwixt a
rock and a hard man <cue Knight Rider theme music here>
For the record - my master's name is Splinter... Master Splinter
taught me the code of practice and the importance of service level
agreements in the provision of professional services. Such
initiatives are binding and definitive - i warn you - do not breach
the code!!!! (and remember you better have change when the piper
calls because the piper won't break a fitty but will break your
legs)
J-Mag (aka The Piper)
by - jmagnolia_ (Sun Dec 26 2004 15:41:23 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Splinter!! my Master is Splinter Johnson. His close friends call him

Master Splinter for brevity.
Just remember - when a true Samurai wields his blade he can tear at
the very fabric of society... RESPECT!
J-Mag
by - kelly63 (Wed Dec 29 2004 21:22:18 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
"quit playing dungeons and dragons and get outside. "

That's kind of an insult to people who play DnD... We prefer to
believe that we are Wizards, Clerics, Cavaliers or Assassins.
by - danielvine209 (Fri Dec 31 2004 07:57:05 ) Ignore
Why are you guys giving him such a hard time?

I wouldnt clal myself a Samurai, but I consider myself a Ronin, even
my teacher Sensei Tarver of http://www.detarver.com knows that ronin
are around today.
I have read all of the warrior series books and follow the ways of
bushido closely, no, samurai do not exsist these days, you need a
lord that you would die for, if you dont then your a ronin.
Ronin just follow the ways of bushido, but dont have a master, which
is why they are still around.
I dont really care whatever anyone says if they come up with some
jackass comments, cause I really dont give a crap, I beleive what I
beleive, so thats the only thing that matters.
by - Flotis (Sat Jan 1 2005 22:08:08 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Ah, yes. As a real-life Swiss armored pikeman trained in the art of

the pike, I follow the way of the spear in all that I do. Sometimes
it pays off. I play one of the medieval warriors in the Capitol One
commercials.
by - user_plot (Sat Jan 1 2005 23:52:59 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I just finished watching Lord of the Rings, and I've decided that
I'm an actual real life Elf because... well, that's all I got. Take
that Will Farrel!
(In reality, I just wanted to be apart of this colossal thread since

I've been following it for 4 months now...)
by - exploitedyouth (Tue Jan 4 2005 04:56:01 ) Ignore
So we got Jedi, Samurai, Elves, and Ninja all in one thread.

Amazing.
by - ThisBouncingSoul (Thu Jan 6 2005 22:13:19 ) Ignore
Bushido is long dead. The Samurai have been extinct for generations.
You suck at life.
by - danielvine209 (Fri Jan 7 2005 01:02:35 ) Ignore
No you suck at life cause you dont have anything better to do than
to flame somone on their beliefs, Bushido is not dead, its as alive
as anything, it involves Buddism and Shintoism, and Taoism, they all
still exsist, and it you beleive in all of them, your following
Bushido..
by - thesixsamuraikickkurosawasass (Fri Jan 7 2005 05:22:16 )
Oh man... I can't believe I actually went through the WHOLE thread!

three w00ts for me!!!
[Post deleted]

by - hollankreil (Fri Jan 7 2005 20:44:54 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Sat Jan 8 2005 13:06:27
Has anyone in the world recently developed any warrior codes? There
are all these ancient styles of living. Are there any new ones that
resemble the Samurai way but are distinct in their own right?
Personally I thin codes that are masterless are cool because it puts
additional importance on self-reliance and self-discipline. Plus if
you (expletive) up, you have no one to blame but yourself which puts
all the responsibility for improving on your shoulders. Everything
you do right you can claim full credit for because you on your own,
using your own means, were the one who made the improvements.
by - ThisBouncingSoul (Sun Jan 9 2005 15:50:39 ) Ignore
Haha. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. If you
were to follow Bushido nowdays you would be breaking many laws. This
means that you would dishonor your family as well as your superiors.
And as we all know, for a samurai to dishonor their master is the
worst crime imaginable. So no. It can't be followed today. To live
by bushido today would be a walking contradiction. You could live by
your own moral code but to call it bushido would be very wrong and
disrespectful.
[Post deleted]

by - christ-on-a-crutch (Mon Jan 10 2005 00:08:24 )
as an actual, real-life moron, i can spot you as one of my own. put

down your sword, drop the bowl of rice, and come back to the fold.
by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Wed Jan 12 2005 11:13:04 )
LOL Splinter, whoa you trained with the Teenage Mutuant Ninja
Turtles!!
J-mag, you are supposed to -know- your enemy.
[Post deleted]

by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Sun Jan 30 2005 19:08:28 )
Lol It is amazing how he finds time to be all these things...

[Post deleted]

by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Mon Jan 31 2005 18:42:33 )
LOL Possibly.
by - SuicidalSamurai (Wed Feb 2 2005 10:17:53 ) Ignore
A rat for a Sensei? Can't you come up with anything more original
than that?
[Post deleted]

by - exploitedyouth (Fri Feb 4 2005 02:14:36 ) Ignore
Seriously can we let this thread die? It WAS funny about a year ago,
but it is so dead. Jmag is still a moron (IMO), but this is just
getting ridiculous.
by - CrimsonAlchemistScar (Sat Feb 5 2005 16:39:34 )
Please do pass,Hancock, I'd love to see it.

by - thesixsamuraikickkurosawasass (Fri Feb 11 2005 19:27:18
) Ignore this User | Report Abuse
I propose a Toast!
Barnabas! A crate of your finest oranges for this strapping samurai!

by - safex11 (Fri Feb 18 2005 23:16:49 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
i wrote on this over a year ago. wow

by - clong_clong (Mon Feb 21 2005 10:35:42 ) Ignore
It is said that the character of Cruise is inspired from this guy

(yet the real story is somewhat different) :
http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?subchannel_id=60&sto
ry_id=5148&name=Was+the+last+samurai+French%3F
[Post deleted]
by - Jon_LtD (Tue Feb 22 2005 09:21:29 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
.....Sleeping bag, please.

"Today is a good day to die"
by - newssourcecanada42 (Tue Feb 22 2005 14:40:56 )
Hey, riderlarose,
Technically speaking you're not a samurai, you're a butt ninja.
In Florida my boy...when you suck...you suck BiG

[Post deleted]

by - kirk_hammett_hell (Wed Mar 2 2005 08:40:53 )
Look man, I follow the samurai code but that doesn't mean I'm an
actual samurai. I've got a bunch of katanas, also doesn't mean I'm a
samurai. Plus, I don't think you would commit hara-kiri out of
shame. The word "Samurai" itself means to serve, kind of duty. Serve
what? The japanese emperor. According to the fact that there are no
emperors anymore in Japan, you can't be a samurai, it's the way you
live your life, nothing more. And going aroud saying you're a real
samurai doesn't make you look kEwL, it makes you look like a
pathetic idiot who tries to say he's something that he can't be.
[Post deleted]

by - Sarah_darkblood (Fri Mar 4 2005 00:23:36 ) Ignore
I am not sure if this was brought up in the past or not. due to the
fact that i am not going to ever read all of the threads here, but i
shall say it anyway... has anyone discovered that it seems as if
Jmag watched The last Samurai and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Back-to-back.. he makes many remarks to his master splinter...i have
to ask...whitch of the four turtles do you train with?
[Post deleted]

by - trgusa (Wed Mar 9 2005 19:38:26 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
I came here to get a little information on "The Last Samurai" before

I viewed the movie, and to my astonishment I found this unheard of
thread of over 500 replies lasting from August of 2003, until now. I
laughed, I sighed, I read it all... and now three hours later I have
this to say about it...
Whether or not the post was calculated (which I doubt) is not
important. I am amazed at the multitude of human responses, from
anger to outright challenge, and then back to imagination and humor.
A great many intelligent people shared deep knowledge, and others,
well... The entire experience was so intense that I dare say you
could teach entire Psychology or Sociology classes using this thread
as a text, and maybe even pull off a thesis from it.
In the end, it came down to interaction. It came down to not just
the differences between us, but also what we share in common... that
is, the ability to communicate, to express, to convey to each other,
to argue, agree, dissent, forgive, and grow in the process... which
is exactly what movies are all about in the first place.
Someone in this thread said something like "they ought to make a
movie about jmagnolia..." and I agree. I see it along the lines of
"Cinema Paradiso", whereas in the final scenes, we see the beauty of
all these clips, or comments, if you will. Bravo! to you all... you
are stars, and you shine!
And I STILL, have yet to see the D*mned movie!!

by - Captain_Bevo (Mon Mar 14 2005 20:59:06 ) Ignore
i'm a jedi because i follow the way of the force.

by - bobbyh64 (Thu Mar 17 2005 04:48:23 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Thu Mar 17 2005 04:53:36
Wow! I forgot about this thread. I was just browsing through my

earlier posts and I saw this one and I remembered how funny it was
to me. I posted a message in Nov. of 2003 and I decided to scroll
down to see how recent the posts were. I couldn't believe it! Mid
2004. Late 2004. Early 2005 and even this month! I thought it was
hilarious. I also thought your post was hilarious too, and
insightful. This thread does teach us a lot about human behavior and
would be a good text for a psychology course. The funny thing is I
haven't seen this movie either. I haven't read all the posts here. I
just scrolled down to see how recent the messages were and read
yours, which was last. I am proud to be a part of the phenomenon of
this thread. Well, let's keep it going!
P.S. I find it amazing that the first post was three simple, short
sentences, and it has created this multitude of replies. It's mind
blowing! This is how the universe works. One little thing leads to
many, possibly infinite, more things! I wonder if this thread will
keep getting larger and larger like the universe and never stop!?
by - tmf_scipio (Thu Mar 17 2005 13:01:46 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
He started the same type of post on the 7 Samurai board. It's almost
2 years old as well.
"I've seen detergents leave a better film than this." - Waldorf
by - trgusa (Thu Mar 17 2005 13:58:35 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
If by "he" you mean jmagolia, yes, he has posts all over the
internet in various forums... some political, some not(just do a
Google search). Some are literate, some are not... none, however,
are very recent.
Now that I have seen the movie, I can say this... I rate movies on a
A to D level, A being "Must see, must own", B being "Must see at
least once", C being "See if you have nothing better to do", D being
"Forget it". I rate 'The Last Samurai' as a "C" movie, with a few
perks, but otherwise not out of the ordinary for Hollywood
distortions of Japanese history in need of an analogous white male
figure to draw in America's box office money. And believe me... I
researched this movie....
This movie might have fared better with an all-Japanese cast focused
on Saigo Takamori, who headed the doomed Satsuma Rebellion in 1877.
Now THERE is a story worth telling. Read his life's history.
OR, it might also have fared well with "Shrek III- The Last
Samurai?". Heheheh.
Incidently, many of the real "Last Samurai" survived into the early
1900s (unemployed, powerless, and having lost their 8% of Japan's
lands along with their riches, whereas they perished and left only
their descendants, who even today, enjoy a high social status for
their heritage.

by - tmf_scipio (Thu Mar 17 2005 14:39:50 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I have read about Takamori and that would be a wonderful story. We

need somebody like Kurosawa to do a movie about him. Have you seen
Ten to Chi to (1990). Otherwise known as Heaven and Earth?
Excellent, beautiful samurai movie.
"I've seen detergents leave a better film than this." - Waldorf
by - phoenix49t (Sat Mar 19 2005 18:52:38 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Wow this board has been going on a long time! I guess it depends on
how you define samurai. But whatever, i dont really care
by - zerojack89 (Wed Mar 30 2005 23:16:14 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
hey, can i maybe get the number of your master?

by - Gyaldhart (Sat Apr 2 2005 23:58:31 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LOL!
I had forgotten this board for awhile, and i can see that its still
going XD
This guy is indeed an anime fan troll

You'll be the moon, I'll be the stars, together...Till the end of
time!

by - Teif (Wed Apr 6 2005 09:36:19 ) Ignore this User |
Report Abuse
Oh my God i can't believe this thread is still going. This must be

the longest running thread in the whole of imdb. It's entered the
status of legendary. i really hope jmagnolia still pops in to check
on it every now and then.
Hello jmagnolia, good times huh? Still in hiding? Did you sort out
all those clones yet? i heard in the news a few of them got
assassinated, I assumed it was you.
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire'. He got thrown out
of the fire brigade.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Itsaduck (Tue Apr 12 2005 06:08:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
i am an actual real life superman who follows the code of

superman-ness i have the power to be super cos i am superman , fear
me
by - BabeBuchinsky (Tue Apr 12 2005 07:14:35 ) Ignore
I'm an actual real life human being who follows the code of....human
beings.
-i'd rather have a good conversation.
by - saaivu (Wed Apr 13 2005 08:05:01 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
You know... I'm an actual, real-life monk of the Wudan temple in

China. I know how to control my qi, so I'm flying to school like
they do in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Isn't that amazing? I can
be a Wudan monk even when I live in a country hundreds of miles
away. I just saw a movie, read a few books and suddenly I became a
monk.
by - Geniusdude (Fri Apr 15 2005 07:58:06 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I don't know why all of you make fun of such a tradition with such
honor and prestige as the Samurai. It is of noble and humble
origins. I actually only wish that people were to live by that code
more often. People in these days have no honor ro respct for there
daily activities. They don't astrive to be the best that they can
become. The samurai way does not promote greed, or competition, but
more on respected and honor for ourselves and others.
I have studied the Samurai culture for 3 years. I have learned some
Japanese, but not enough to keep up a conversation. I am not white,
or asian in any sense. I am a hispanic that is willing to find out
about other cultures. I speak 6 other languages, 4 fluent and 2
intermediate and I am learning Japanese. If people could strive to
be more open to culture... yes the Samurai are not perfect, but they
try their best to understand nature and the worlld around them and
unite with their energy.
I can say I am a practicing Christian, and I don't believe in their
way of Budism, but the principles are still of moral quality. People
don't embed themselves in trying the best for what they can achieve.
I am not an overachiever of any sense. I just make efficient use of
my time and energy.
by - bluesfan38 (Fri Jun 3 2005 05:57:44 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
in japanese my name means "honorable samurai warrior of wisdom" chi

mu
by - tamer-shalaby (Tue Jun 7 2005 06:06:58 ) Ignore
I really enjoy this movie too much. I like the way of the Samurai
and i thought they are honorable men.
I am very happy to learn about different culture of mine.
By the way, i am from egypt and it honor me to know you.
my email is tamer.shalaby@gmail.com
by - anybody-here-like-movies (Tue Jun 7 2005 16:45:52 )
as a real life samuria also i must ask you to a duel for i am also
trianed under the art of bushido.i challange you to a duel. if u do
not show up you have lost all honor.meet me at 4 george dr west
porters lake canada novascotia.
[Post deleted]
by - nostromo999 (Mon Jun 20 2005 21:48:09 ) Ignore
this is funny, very fun, i remember when this all started.

by - bienetre (Tue Jun 21 2005 01:36:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Tue Jun 21 2005 01:40:03
For someone who's doing their PhD or MA with lofty ambitions of a

post doc, plus the advantages of studying the challanges (sic) at
both Japanese and Canadian Universities, I'm curious: where exactly
a) did you study and b) continue to study? You mention you operate
from "scholarship" to "scholarship"; care to share or name what they
were? Not that many Canadian Universities offer graduate studies and
PhD studies in so specific a field; UBC, maybe other universities in
the West might offer them, but to my knowledge very few do. In
Ontario alone, neither York University or University of Toronto
offer graduate degrees in Japanese History.
For someone as knowledgeable as you are, you come across as a slight
braggart. I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but for the
wealth of information you provide regarding historical facts, you
don't provide any links to your school, specific courses you are
taking, schools you went to in the past, or what you are
specifically studying right now.
If anyone wants to read Japanese History, I suggest reading anything
written by this man:
http://www.yorku.ca/uhistory/faculty/cv/wakabayashi.htm. I had him
for two years for my undergrad East Asian Studies degree at York
Univeristy; PhD Princeton (I'll be the first to drop the name of an
actual university), widely respected and widely read in academic
circles. We also have this guy:
http://www.yorku.ca/yfile/archive/index.asp?Article=4412, who
teaches 2nd year East Asian Studies courses that I took a while
back.
I'd really like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but with such
grandeur and knowledge I'd like to put a name on where it is you
actually are studying now.
Cheers
by - belacane (Tue Jun 21 2005 07:44:25 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
LOL, haven't been checking this thread in a LONG time, but this post
really made me laugh! My kids asked 'What's so funny?'
"You ever get the feeling there's something going on we don't know
about?"
by - kinackin (Fri Jun 24 2005 15:55:21 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
aww man, i only nipped on imdb for a quick look at the last samurai
page after watching it... i have been here all night reading this
thread.
And i would just like to state i am a samurai too and anyone that
wishes to dispute my claim at samuraidity will answer to my uber
sharp Wakizashi + 3.

by - brandyboy89 (Mon Jun 27 2005 10:18:20 ) Ignore
This thread is HUGE!

by - eejij11225 (Sat Jul 23 2005 21:09:34 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
yeah, last time I posted on this i was like in 7th grade, now i'm
going to 9th.
and at the time, the thread was already a year old.
yikes!
by - daydream_queen (Wed Jul 27 2005 13:28:51 ) Ignore
Thanks to this thread, I have decided to change my plans for the
future. I wanted to study political science; but why go to
university when they are so many other career options available? I
have read all the required books and watched all the required
movies, and even managed to find some chainmail for sale at my local
Wal-Mart last Halloween...so I've decided to become a knight. Sure,
I live in 21st century Canada, not medieval Europe, and I don't know
any nobles, but who cares about historical accuracy? With a sword
and a few horseback riding lessons, I will be a bold knight in
shining armour, and will protect my land from evil!
I will get my own place soon, so I can practice my swordfighting
without accidentally decapitating family members who get in the way.
If anyone else on this board is interested, you can come to my place
and we can duel. Samurai, Jedi knights, ninjas, Vikings, hobbits,
elves, and superheroes are welcome. May the best poser win!
Did anybody order an apocalypse?
by - tpac76 (Wed Aug 3 2005 12:15:22 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
daydream queen, you are simply a genuis.

by - daydream_queen (Sat Aug 6 2005 21:13:51 ) Ignore
Hee hee... In addition to being a real-life knight in shining

armour, I am also a real-life genius! I have an IQ of 140 (like
Jessica Simpson, but my hair is better!), I am a Harvard graduate
(though I still live at home, boo-hoo), and I hang out with some of
the most intelligent men and women in the world (you should see the
wild parties we throw!) In between my duels with other knights and
my defense of my land, I work on my Theory of Everything! You might
not believe me, as I have no proof to back up my prideful claims,
but you can come to my house and I will show you the meaning of
genius. Let me dazzle you with my superior intellect. All lesser
mortals on this board must bow down before me and acknowledge my
innate superiority!
(Seriously, I don't think a real-life genius would boast like this
on movie boards. This is one of the funniest threads I have ever
seen.)
Did anybody order an apocalypse?
by - prohibited-name-2779 (Sun Aug 7 2005 11:07:46 )
could you be more pathetic? jeezus, how old are you? 10`11`? get a
life.
by - shauncreaney (Tue Aug 23 2005 12:43:32 ) Ignore
i believe one can abide by a code or 道 if one really wanted,

but to claim to be a samurai, nowadays warrants a visit to the
clinic. there must be more to samurai and
武士道　then just learning sword play and
abiding by a few tenets. samurai don't use computers, post on
forums, nor brag about their training. they also would have sliced a
guy in half for mocking him and his feudal master. (i think)
by - jbmeira1977 (Wed Aug 24 2005 09:46:44 ) Ignore
Who is your Shogun then ? Or are you a Ronin ?

Isn't it "cool" to label ourselves with hip titles from movies and
stuff ?
You may have read Bushido over and over, even memorized it... but
the year it's 2005 man - wake up and smell the SAKE...
There's no need to go on some online forum advirtize your state of
coolness ;)
OR THE NEXT THING YOU'LL KNOW, YOU'LL BE WEARING T-SHIRTS SAYING : "
HEY LOOK AT ME, I'M A WALKING,TALKING REAL-LIFE SAMURAI !!! " FOR
PETE'S SAKE !!!
Hey, my 4-year old nephew thinks he is a Jedi Knight too, but that's
just his thing...
Keep it real.
CoolJoe
P.S: Be proud - you are not alone. I also follow the Tao besides
Bushido.
by - JohnnyRocketFingers (Thu Aug 25 2005 12:01:31 )
Well im very sorry to disappoint EVERYONE but I am in actual fact

the second messiah, thats right the second SON OF GOD!!!!. I have no
powers like my brother but I can say im better than all the really
cool people who claim to be randon stuff in here.
Btw i do have one power, I cant spell randon.
Johnny RocketFingers says: Join us...

by - bh79 (Wed Aug 31 2005 09:18:32 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
UPDATED Thu Sep 1 2005 12:05:01
You need to hook up with our Mr.V- the resident reel life
vigelente...
Go to the Vigilante (1987) board.
Think of all that you could achieve if you were to join forces!! You
would be invincible!
by - ExOblivione (Wed Aug 31 2005 11:14:40 ) Ignore
Yes, Mr. V a.k.a InTheShadow is a real man of honor.

He has a following.
Search him out and find the TRUTH!
"A cage went in search of a bird."
by - bobbyh64 (Fri Sep 2 2005 03:02:30 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am a real life Mafia boss/Buddhist.
[Post deleted]
by - bobbyh64 (Mon Sep 12 2005 01:12:51 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
If you die can I be the 3rd messiah?

by - JohnnyRocketFingers (Mon Sep 12 2005 13:48:36 )
Sure dude, heck I'll even have a word with Pop n see if he can
squeeze you in anyway.
Johnny RocketFingers says: I have this condition...
[Post deleted]

by - amaus86 (Fri Oct 14 2005 12:32:56 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Jmagnolia i respect what you are doing. But it is modern day and
unfortuntaley it is almost impossible to live like one. I have great
respects for the samurai and i can only wish one day the might and
wisdom from the samurai will once be remebered.
" Ah! as the dew i fall. As the dew i vanish.
Unknow.
[Post deleted]

by - zerohero35 (Wed Oct 19 2005 19:39:34 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
Damn, this thread is still going? It's been around since the film
was released.
"I must BREAK you....." Rocky
Hudson: How do i get out of this chicken-*beep* outfit?
by - Devildog1124 (Sat Nov 5 2005 23:32:17 ) Ignore
Samurai? No.
Dork? Yes.
by - mazariegosivx (Tue Nov 15 2005 20:29:26 ) Ignore
If the guy who says he is a samurai would kindly answer the

following question: What does a Samurai (a real one), do to
celebrate the rain season? If you do not answer, then this proves
that you are not a true samurai... :)
[Post deleted]

by - gunner1487 (Mon Dec 5 2005 15:16:23 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
ya, and I dress up and call myself batman.

by - james2406 (Thu Dec 8 2005 02:42:45 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I what you say is true, you live in grave danger. For I am of the
"Natushibi Kotanska" literally translating to "I will fell all
Samurai with my terrible swift sword". I will look for you, keeper
of Magnolia. Warned you be....

by - Self-Pos (Sun Dec 11 2005 14:47:02 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I can't believe this thread is still alive.

Arkitekt- The Average Joe, Da-Scribe- The Jackass, Self-Pos- The
Diplomat. I'm kooky like that.
by - calypsoman25 (Wed Dec 14 2005 18:53:59 ) Ignore
i must be a piece of *beep* because I follow the pipes under the

toilet.
by - bhikkhu (Wed Dec 21 2005 16:10:26 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
This thread will stay alive as long as those who follow the code of
bushido do. And seeing as we have an actual, real-life samurai in
our midst, it will stay alive for a long, long time.
Om Mani Padme Hum
by - crawler_x (Fri Dec 30 2005 19:56:47 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
keeping it alive!
by - Esplin (Fri Dec 30 2005 22:20:06 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I can't believe this crap is still going. I last posted on this

thread more than two years ago.
[Post deleted]

by - GQDESI (Wed Jan 4 2006 13:27:25 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
Yeah so back to the subject LOL!

by - v_voldemort (Fri Jan 6 2006 12:42:08 ) Ignore this
User | Report Abuse
I am Lord Voldemort.
*points wand and whispers Avada Kedavra!
by - saaivu (Mon Jan 9 2006 10:49:27 ) Ignore this User
| Report Abuse
My god, this thread is still going??? How long has it been around
now? Three years or something?
jmagnolia, you sure know how to make people talk ;P
I am a real-life human! Beat that!
Like most things I am nothing, but like everything I am part of a
whole.
[Post deleted]

[Post deleted]

by - Skip_4591 1 day ago (Sun Jan 29 2006 15:29:39 )
i don't know why you people are making fun of this man. I respect
him, and am honored to talk to a real-life samurai. We should all
respect him.
"Mein Fhrer! I can walk!"-Dr. Strangelove

by - cordozardogg 18 hours ago (Mon Jan 30 2006 08:51:47 )
i agree
by - Tsotha-lanti 10 hours ago (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:15:33 )
I am an alien.
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As An Actual Samurai

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As An Actual Samurai

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IMDb :: Boards :: The Last Samurai (2003)

Board: The Last Samurai (2003)

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I am an actual, real-life samurai who follows the code of the

There is this one prof at the University of Kanazawa in Japan's. He

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Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

Recently I heard the saying: "Often, silence is the best answer". I

As an actual, real-life superhero, I can tell you that my powers are

Look, idiot, I am not joking around. I am a samurai. That doesn't

I do not pretend to be superior. I am merely a Samurai who follows

I'm just wondering, who's your master?

Good question. Every time some bozo protests that he is a samurai on

My tolerance is not mine to give......gee, ya got me there. I think

Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

I really hope he has an answer. Maybe it is "Uncle Sam"? (^_^)

I accept your challenge of a duel, u delusional maniac. Mabye i can

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Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

>Just because you never had the disclipline to live a life of

I'm my own master, and graciously allow my husband to share the

Make up your mind, dude; are we ants or are we beetles?

>I'm my own master, and graciously allow my husband to share the

Hate to get involved in this arguement, but I believe Bushido is

I've been studying Japanese history and language as a professional

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I think that Ghost Dog is supposed to be taken as part parody, BTW.

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LOL well said. I'm actually a beginner in Kendo and I practice in a

Thanks alot, I really appreciate people as thoughtful and

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"In a Grove" and "Rashomon" are the two short stories. It is

'PS, I wouldn't be bragging about having seen Ghost Dog to someone

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Didn't really mean to brag or anything. I just don't like being

'Didn't really mean to brag or anything. I just don't like being

'I'm a "professional student" at the moment. That means I go from

Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

Galaxy Express 999 is a great movie. There is a real poetry to the

>Sounds like a good deal if your interest is also your source of

Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

switched to general discussion about films and books, so i'll allow

Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

>I know very little about japaneese culture and my interes in it is

TOM CRUISE IS NOT PLAYING A SAMURAI!!!

I have studied the History of the Samurai at a well known IV league

That's seppuku BTW. It makes a difference when you say it in

Your posts are really informative and interesting. Thanks.

His master is probably either a girl, or someone he's bound to

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I have not heard when Zatoichi will be released in NA but I assume

I just looked at Jmagnolia's post history and it seems like he went

Re: As an actual, real-life samurai

Nice to see that someone else picked up on this. A "real" samurai

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Yeah, a walk on in the villiage scene, right? Pretty cool stuff. I

I am an actual descendant of samurai, the closest thing to a "real

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In the words of Johnny Storm "FLAME ON!"