Cuevas 1

Sabrina Cuevas

Professor Batty

English 102

08 December 2018

Revision Reflection for Poetry Essay

In my poetry essay, the first major change I made was in terms of my thesis statement.

Although my original thesis statement was clear, it made an argument that was not hard to argue

with. So, instead of keeping my original thesis statement, I modified it to state, “ It might be said

that “Cyanide Sun” is promoting unrequited love. After reading and listening to the song, I see

that through the use of figurative language, symbolism, repetition, tone, tempo, and diction, its

overall significance is to serve as an example of how to not behave towards a person when their

love is no longer mutual.” In changing my thesis statement, I also made sure that I added a

counterargument that I was able to properly argue against. In the paragraph where I mention the

counterargument, I made sure to bring the other side’s argument into view, rather than just

briefly touching on it. In changing my thesis statement, I also made sure to go back to all of the

supporting body paragraphs and change some of the topic sentences and closing sentences

around to make sure that they relate back to my new thesis statement instead of the old one.

In terms of literary devices, I made sure to devote one paragraph to one specific literary

device. To be more specific, when I discussed the song’s use of figurative language (connotation,

metaphors, and personification), I made sure to discuss each of these literary devices in separate

paragraphs. I also made a similar change to my essay when I discussed other literary devices

such as symbolism and repetition. These specific changes were made in order to ensure that the
 Cuevas 2

structure of my essay wasn’t all over the place. When it came time to discussing the song’s use

of diction, I made the choice of discussing this in the paragraph where I bring up the

counterargument. When refuting the counterargument, I discussed the song’s use of diction in

order to strengthen my refutation and overall argument about what the song’s significance is.

The last change I made to this essay was in the conclusion paragraph. In the original

graded draft, I had some ideas in the paragraph that didn’t exactly relate to what my thesis stated.

I mentioned in the original draft’s conclusion that dwelling over a person who no longer loves

you is not worth it. However, this was something that I did not have stated in my thesis. In the

revision process, I made sure to change my thesis so that those ideas would now be mentioned in

the actual thesis and part of my draft’s conclusion would now be relevant to my new thesis

statement.