What Comes Across As Selfish But Actually Isn'T - AskReddit

12/13/2018 What comes across as selfish but actually isn’t?
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What comes across as selfish but
40.1k actually isn’t?
(self.AskReddit)
Submitted on 12 Dec 2018
submitted 23 hours ago by spankthewhitewhale
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[–] okapistripes 1041 points 15 hours ago
Acknowledging that you don't have the

Rules:
power/resources to care for a loved one and (hover for more info)
seeking help from a nursing home or adult
protective services. You must post a clear and direct question
in the title. The title may contain two,
short, necessary context sentences. No
1
text is allowed in the textbox. Your
Dementia is no fucking joke and it can slowly kill thoughts/responses to the question can
the souls of the family as well as the person go in the comments section. more >>
suffering from the disease. Caregiver burnout can
lead to psychoses, heart attacks, strokes, and Any post asking for advice should be
suicide. These diseases can cause sufferers to 2 generic and not specific to your situation
become abusive and violent. The commercial ideal alone. more >>
of the well-kept grandma who occasionally forgets

things is so, so far from the truth for many 3>
Askreddit is for open-ended discussion
< discussions
questions. morein r/AskReddit
>> X
families.
6479 · 1194 comments
If you Posting,
could run all of your
or seeking, anyhousehold's
identifying
electricity for 12
personal hours after
information, realrunning on a
or fake, will
human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/a5lsh0/what_comes_across_as_selfish_but_actually_isnt/ 1/37
12/13/2018 What comes across as selfish but actually isn’t? : AskReddit
It's sad and causes so much guilt and anguish, but 4 result in a ban without a prior warning.
more >>
that's the reality we must live with.
permalink embed save report reply
Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal
5
load more comments (40 replies) army, or advertising platform. more >>
[–] TerribleAttitude 1604 points 17 hours ago

Questions seeking professional advice
This may be a weird one, but not "letting people 6 are inappropriate for this subreddit and
will be removed. more >>
help" when I did not request help, and offers of
help were politely declined.
Soliciting money, goods, services, or
7
favours is not allowed. more >>
[–] xSilus 329 points 15 hours ago
People have a hard time understanding this. Mods reserve the right to remove content
When I say "I don't need your help" you aren't or restrict users' posting privileges as
8 necessary if it is deemed detrimental to
being polite by continuing to try and help. the subreddit or to the experience of
permalink embed save parent report reply others. more >>
load more comments (9 replies)

Comment replies consisting solely of
9
images will be removed. more >>
[–] friendlyantisocial 25.5k points 20 hours ago x2 If you think your post has disappeared, see
Healthy firm relationship boundaries. spam or an inappropriate post, please do
not hesitate to contact the mods, we're
permalink embed save report reply happy to help.
[–] NotMyHersheyBar 7843 points 15 hours ago
My co-worker thinks "Good morning, how are

you?" is an invitation to a 20 minute Tags to use:
conversation. I get in, I get my cofffee, I start
my computer, I get settled. If I let her go at it, [Serious]
I wouldn't start working til almost 10 am. She
gets put-out when I say, "Welp! Better go Use a [Serious] post tag to designate
____" whatever. I just started and I was your post as a serious, on-topic-only
thread.
friendly the first week to get to know people. I
just want to start my day without talking to
anyone, I'm not realy that friendly.
Filter posts by subject:
permalink embed save parent report reply
[–] shulg 5290 points 15 hours ago Mod posts Serious posts
This is why I stick to "good morning!". This

Megathread Breaking news
is also why I keep walking when saying it.
Unfilter
[–] TyrannosaurusWest 1448 points 15 hours ago
It’s so effective. Smile and wave, look

busy, keep walking. I’ve never been so Do you have ideas or feedback for
productive. < > discussions
Askreddit? in r/AskReddit
Submit to /r/Ideasforaskreddit. X
permalink embed save parent report reply 6479 · 1194 comments

If you could run all of your household's
[–] backwardsbloom 632 points 14 hours ago electricity for 12 hours after running on a
Pace is everything. It doesn’t matter if Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers.
>!insert spoiler here!<
I’m heading to a meeting or checking
out the cookies by payroll, I walk with
a sense of purpose and pace.
Other subreddits you might like:
Generally gets across that I’m not
down for a chat.
Ask Others Self & Others
permalink embed save parent report
reply
Find a subreddit Learn something
[–] Gideon_Wolfe378 221 points 14 hours
ago Meta Subs What is this ___
One of the easiest ways to get out
AskReddit Offshoots Offers & Assistance
of actually doing work is to find a
clipboard, or some strange or
excessively large tool, and just Ever read the reddiquette? Take a peek!
walk around with purpose looking
slightly pissed off. No one wants to css by qtx a community for 10 years
talk to the person that is mad and
equipped. MODERATORS MESSAGE THE MODERATORS
permalink embed save parent report
reply krispykrackers
flyryan
[–] AnAwakenedMind 237 points 14 hours Ooer
ago
canipaybycheck
wanders around aimlessly roastedbagel
ani625
looking angry for entire 8 hour
TheJackal8
shift — clock hits 5 — walks sexrockandroll
straight out the door e36
IranianGenius
permalink embed save parent
...and 18 more »
report reply
[–] FukkenDesmadrosaALV 806 points 15 hours ago
My God, you just broke my mind.

[–] Losephos 196 points 14 hours ago
Other good advice is always walk with a purpose. Look busy. People will
leave you alone!

< > discussions in r/AskReddit X
load more comments (9 replies) 6479 · 1194 comments

electricity for 12 hours after running on a
[–] OaksByTheStream 2260 points 16 hours ago
Exactly.
I've had things I'm not okay with deemed as selfish and controlling.
Alright, make room for someone who understands that they are simple preferences and
you don't have to change to fit within them if that's not what you are as a person. It just
means you're not what I'm looking for, and that's okay. If someone wants to change and
sees it as an improvement on themselves, fantastic. If you're not interested in being
that, this is perfectly fine and I wish you luck in finding a better match in the future.
Is this understanding really so difficult? I don't get it.
[–] KommodoreKRool 539 points 15 hours ago
Rejection makes people ashamed even if it makes sense.

[–] rngtrtl 13.0k points 19 hours ago*
saying no to people. you dont have to always help people if it will spread you too thin. self
preservation is a thing.
EDIT: Wow, Thanks for the silver! :)
[–] Jazehiah 3750 points 15 hours ago
I wish my Dad had given me the following advice earlier:

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
[–] TheSanityInspector 14.7k points 22 hours ago
Being judicious with your time and energy, when people ask you to do things.
[–] pm_me_sad_feelings 2938 points 16 hours ago
There's nothing quite as sweet as looking forward to and enjoying doing absolutely
nothing. FOMO be damned, I relish taking that time and planning not a single thing on
it.

[–] aaaaaahsatan 1202 points 14 hours ago
I've heard this referred to as JOMO: joy of missing out. for 12 hours after running on a
electricity
[–] arest7 15.2k points 18 hours ago
In high school one of the students in year 12 died and his friends were selling bracelets(I
think) to raise money for his funeral. I couldn't afford one (they were like 10 dollars) as I
was in year 9 and jobless without spare money. Anyway a lot of people were upset with me
because I didn't have a bracelet for someone I didn't know and money I didn't have.
[–] FS3608 5048 points 15 hours ago
This is one of the things I hated about High School. Any other time, I might as well not
existed. When something like this comes up and you don't go with the crowd or CAN'T,
they get bent at you. Too bad. They are the ones who should get bent.
[–] Bjames2513 1081 points 14 hours ago
They're always so disingenuous too. 4/5 of the people wearing the bracelets or
donating etc. didn't even know the person was alive the day before. Then in a few
weeks, they forget who even died. The only reason they even pretend to care is
because they think they should
[–] momo_i 794 points 14 hours ago
Oh my god, I’m in high school and this is so accurate. This kid was on football
and the whole team bullied him into quitting. Then, he ended up killing himself
and the same kids who were bullying him spent the day telling me how close
they all were with him. Honestly that death actually made me cut off a lot of
people who didn’t particularly know him or make an effort to be nice to him but
acted like they were his best friend after his death. I never knew him but he was
only popular after he died and that’s so sick. It’s honestly disrespectful to do
that in my opinion.
[–] iCoeur285 75 points 10 hours ago
One of my really good friends died the summer after we graduated high
school. One of his bullies made a Facebook status about how “close” they
were, but all I ever heard from my friend is how much of a dick the bully
was. Other people who never talked to him also made Facebook statuses.
Thing is, my friend moved freshman year of high school and lived two hours
away. I didn’t see any of them make that fucking drive to go to the funeral,
only his actual friends did. I really wanted to call them out on it, but I didn’t
want to make his death about me or stupid drama so I let it go.
load more comments (5 replies) electricity for 12 hours after running on a
[–] scnavi 2421 points 15 hours ago
I found in high school a lot of kids couldn’t understand not being able to buy something
when their parents gave them money. I had to buy my own things and I didn’t buy a
year book or a class ring or get senior pictures done. My prom dress I think was $40.00
and that was a big deal to me. I had bills to pay, I couldn’t afford every little thing and
the kids whose parents paid for everything couldn’t understand that.
I’m a parent now and I’m super proud I can provide for my son btw.
[–] 0range_julius 391 points 15 hours ago
This is happening to me way more in college than it did in high school. I love going
out and spending $10 on Korean food with my roommate, but she invites me to do it
twice a week and I just can't afford that. She gets pretty much unlimited money
from her parents and I haven't gotten an allowance since 2009.
[–] onetimerone 16.4k points 19 hours ago
Telling your family "no" when you feel you have maxed out your contribution to whatever
cause they are campaigning. Especially when their methods of negotiation include applying
guilt.
[–] vibes86 2166 points 15 hours ago
I work in nonprofit finance. If they say no; you stop. I can’t stand people that continue
to ask time and time again. That just cements the fact that they’ll never give. Also, if
you give and they don’t say thank you. I’ll never give again after that.
[–] jter8 1997 points 15 hours ago
This. I’m the Yes Man in my family, being in my early to mid twenties was a constant
stream of “can you do this/that for your aunt/uncle” as well as dealing with the infinite
summer long projects my dad would come up with. It wasn’t just me, it extended to my
close friends as well, always being recruited to do work for family.
At thanks giving my dad say the shape of my uncles back yard and tried to talk me into
“bailing him out” granted his back yard is trashed6479 · 1194 comments
(constantly green pool, fences falling
over, debris everywhere) I told him straight up “no.”
I’ve spent countless hours working for this uncle doing all kinds of things, working
concessions, delivering vending machines and what not. He has two sons of his own.
Why am I the one that gets these tasks.
Because I always said yes. That’s not happening any more. My time, my future are too
valuable now. I’m my own man and I will still help family but only when he’ll is needed.
If you neglect your yard for 15 years, that’s your bed, you sleep in it.
[–] WorkForce_Developer 824 points 15 hours ago
Guilt them back! “Gosh, you need money again grandma? What are we going to do with
you and your drug problem? Well, none of my friends grandmothers ask them for
money, but what should I expect? Not as lucky as them I suppose.”
It’ll more likely piss them off than cause them to storm off. Maybe they learn a lesson,
maybe they avoid you. Either way, you don’t need that negativity anyways
[–] HiBigFatFuknStupid 598 points 15 hours ago
This is...specific.
[–] hun1ergarc1a 47.9k points 22 hours ago x2
Not loaning money because it could potentially put you in a bad position.
[–] ChillinWithMyDog 12.0k points 17 hours ago
I only loan money if my financial stability and my relationship with the person could
both survive not getting paid back. It's more like a gift that maybe I'll get back if I'm
lucky one day.
[–] ConcreteGidget 6400 points 15 hours ago
I never loan money. I loaned a friend a few thousand and had to harass him
constantly to pay me back. He always said he was broke but routinely spent money
on frivolous things which made me resent him. I honestly didn't care about the
money but the betrayal of his word really bothered me. After two months, I told him
I wasn't going to interact with him until he paid me back and he paid me back the
next day.

7: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely separated
permalink embed save parent report reply electricity for 12 hours after running on a
[–] Stagism 2107 points 15 hours ago*
Unfortunately the damage has been done. You'll never feel the same way about
your friend than before you lent them money.
[–] FukkenDesmadrosaALV 842 points 15 hours ago
Same happened to me. But i was young and stupid so i text her, "Keep your
money, i keep my friend".
Funny thing is, i fell on hard times a few months later and she disappeared
with a quickness when i needed her.
[–] CSKING444 241 points 14 hours ago
That reminded me of a quote by, uh..., Someone

Do you want to get rid of a random person? Invest by lending them
$10 and you'll never see them
Hope you're doing well now my bud
[–] Stinduh 660 points 16 hours ago
Yep. If you’re in a position to lend money, consider it a gift. If you ever get that
money back, consider that a gift too.
[–] El_Cochinote 2749 points 16 hours ago
I don’t loan money. I give it to people that need it. They all say it’s loan and will
definitely pay me back. Less than half ever have. That’s on them. It’s also the reason I
never give more than I can afford to lose. It’s also a cheap way to find out what kind of
person the “borrower” is.
[–] herefishyfishy5 428 points 15 hours ago
I kinda do the same but instead when one of my close friends says they can’t go on
a trip with our close group of friends I peer pressure them into it and then pay for
the majority of it without them knowing. They just think it was way cheaper than it
really was and we all have the time of our lives. We’ve been friends for 20 years
(were all only 26) and I’d hate for anyone to miss
6479 anything because of money
· 1194 comments
permalink embed save parent report reply electricity for 12 hours after running on a
[–] me_llamo_greg 57 points 14 hours ago
You’re a great friend

[–] SS__Essess 4460 points 19 hours ago
Two key things my mother drilled into my head when I was a kid: don't lend money to
anyone, don't do anything that gets you in trouble with the Tax Man.
[–] damanas 2858 points 17 hours ago
my mom's variant was that any money you loan to friends or family should be
assumed as a gift, not a loan
[–] trustthepudding 977 points 16 hours ago
Yeah basically don't loan anybody money that you expect to get back.
[–] damanas 686 points 16 hours ago
and sometimes there are people you care about who really need the help
who could really use $200, and giving that as a gift can be fine. it's when
they're chronically asking that it's a problem
[–] fkdurdad 842 points 15 hours ago
There was a time my friend/roommate was $100 short for rent and I said
“THIS TIME ONLY” he actually got it back to me two days later after his
shift then never asked again. So yes edge cases are fine, repeat asking
is a no no
[–] sickburnersalve 340 points 15 hours ago
I had to borrow money, one time, from my best friend of 13 years (at
the time). $200, so I could make rent, because my car got towed
and I was barely scraping by after moving a thousand miles away. (I
needed to get my car out before it started growing fees like mold at
the impound.)
Now, this friend, had a history of lending money to friends that never
paid him back. I think he was disappointed that he was going to be
out $200 because of his expectations, but he knew I did not have
many options then, and just sorta hoped I'd be good about it. Also,
keep in mind, he didn't say anything about that , and agreed
< > discussions in r/AskReddit
immediately after I explained the situation. X
10 days later $200 came out of my6479

next paycheck,
· 1194 comments and I spent an
extra $20 on a book. Put the check in the book, mailed it.
He, after it arrived, called me, immediately! He was fucking over the
moon suprised that someone would come through for him, and keep
their word. I never mentioned the gift or the thank you card, so he
had no idea.
It made it all worth it on my end, just to hear him so blown away. I'd
never borrowed money before or since, but I'm legit happy that I
mustered up all my pride, and suppressed the hell out of it, just so I
could even ask him. We've been close friends for like 23 years at this
point, so overall it seems like it was good for both of us.
[–] Koyomi_Arararagi 175 points 16 hours ago
Never loan money you aren't prepared to never see again.

[–] Renface 36.3k points 19 hours ago x3
Saying “no” to things.

[–] vibes86 19.0k points 15 hours ago x2
‘No is a complete sentence.’ That phrase changed my life.

[–] Iamthelizardqueen52 1945 points 14 hours ago
From "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. A MUST read for pretty much everybody.
[–] myssbitter 803 points 14 hours ago
i got the book because every askreddit thread i'm seeing nowadays recommends
this book. it's like it doesn't want to leave me until i read the goddamn book.
it's a great book so far you should probably read it folks
permalink embed save parent report reply < > discussions in r/AskReddit X
load more comments (44 replies) 6479 · 1194 comments

load more comments (44 replies) electricity for 12 hours after running on a
[–] Catty-Cat 1626 points 14 hours ago
Reminds me of back when I was in elementary school, saying "no" to someone who
wanted to partner up with you for an activity was not allowed.
[–] ReallyBadAtReddit 1247 points 14 hours ago
I can remember a lot of bullshit rules like this from elementary school.
One was that we weren't allowed to invite any classmates to our birthday parties
unless we invited them all — that's not even something the school has control over.
I can remember not being able to say the B.A.D. word. I'm not trying to avoid
saying the bad word or anything; "bad" was the bad word. Luckily, me and all my
grade 1 classmates ripped into it and turned it into a huge joke. Somebody would
say something like "I had a bad day" and the whole class would mockingly chant
DON'T SAY THE B–A–D WORD in unison.
I get what they're trying to do with some of these rules, but it just becomes very
confusing to small children (mostly because they make no sense to adults either).
[–] marisa_maria 495 points 13 hours ago
The party one pissed me off and would give the invitations to my friends on the
side outside of class.
[–] PlatonSkull 80 points 12 hours ago
At my school, there was a more sensible rule: it's okay to invite a few
classmates, but it's not okay to exclude a few classmates and invite
everyone else.
[–] StanFitch 20.5k points 18 hours ago x3
Solitude.
Sometimes it’s insanely healthy to be with yourself.
Sometimes the timing doesn’t mesh with others’ lives.
[–] Evalou0 2043 points 14 hours ago* < > discussions in r/AskReddit X
Oh God, this one. When I'm having a really frustrating day, I will ask my SO what time
he's going to be home from work so I know whenIfI you
should
couldleave
run allwork to household's
of your have time at
home alone. For some reason, it always makes me electricity for 12Like...
feel guilty! hours after
I justrunning on have
want to a
a glass of wine and listen to music in a bubble bath without anyone around or to just...
be alone, but I feel like I'm somehow lying to him or making him think I don't want to
spend time with him. We shouldn't be conditioned to think like that!
Edit: to everyone asking if he is insecure, the answer is a resounding, "no." He is
extremely supportive and understanding when I tell him I need my "me" time. I'm
insecure. When I think of finding out he has been coming home early just to be alone, I
worry it might hurt my feelings, so I assume it would hurt his even though that's not the
case. It's my own issue, and I wouldn't want anyone to assume anything negative about
him. I accept that the guilt may be unnecessary, but because of some personal issues,
that doesn't mean I can just forget about it. I love that everyone here is so supportive
and ready to offer suggestions, you guys are so kind!
[–] HeyyJosh 15.7k points 20 hours ago* x2
Not giving money to family members. My longtime gf's family always asked her for money
and I had to reassure it is okay not to give it because we have our own bills. BTW between
the both of us her mom, brother, and sister have received money at one point in time. I am
almost positive she has paid them more than I know, not my money, but they try to guilt us
because we are in a better situation (we save a little after bills) and will never pay us back.
Edit: Thanks for the silver kind stranger! Also, a little context about our situation. Her mom
will bounce around between IL and FL depending what job she can get. Just randomly
leaves and tells no one but the family in either state. Her sister always just bounce around
from job to job and lives with her dad but always needs money for non bills. The one I don't
mind helping is the brother in the military I know he will not pass us back but we
loaned/gifted them 100.00 for their sons Christmas presents. We have been dating for 3
years and I would say about ten times a year they will ask for $200-500. You feel bad
saying no but sometimes that would make our savings dangerously thin.
[–] malavisch 1884 points 18 hours ago*
My grandmother is like this. She's an alcoholic and constantly in debt because she keeps
taking loans which she then doesn't pay off. No one knows what she does with the
money because it's not like she has expensive or just new stuff at the house, nor does
she spend much on food etc. I'm pretty sure they're taking part of her retirement
money to pay the debt and yet she's still had collectors show up on her doorstep more
than once because she owed even more. She never takes any responsibility for that. You
don't have money because you spent what little you had left on vodka and cigarettes?
No worries, you can just go to your family/neighbors and count on their sympathy,
because what kind of monster wouldn't give a poor old woman 10 bucks so she wouldn't
starve to death? Worst thing is that whenever she was too much in debt (like, we're
talking 10-20k in accumulated loans plus fees), my grandfather would just cough up the
< > discussions in r/AskReddit
money and pay it off for the sake of the family's "reputation". Now that he's dead, my X
uncle (grandma's only son) is doing the same thing. 6479It's honestly
· 1194 commentsinfuriating, I'm just
glad I live too far away for her to try mooching offIf of
youme could
too.run all of your household's
Edit: to y'all who keep saying that she must be spending the money on booze - I am,
theoretically, aware that this is the most likely explanation here. In practice, I honestly
can't imagine blowing your entire salary (or, in this case, retirement) on alcohol. Cheap
alcohol, might I add, because I'm pretty sure she's not buying $200 bottles of whiskey
every day. It really just baffles me (partially because I hate the taste of alcohol, so I
rarely drink it and also can't imagine drinking excessive amounts of it every day, lol).
Edit 2: guys, I understand the desire to give advice, but honestly, I know how to handle
myself in this situation :)
[–] Gr8NonSequitur 751 points 16 hours ago
Worst thing is that whenever she was too much in debt (like, we're talking 10-
20k in accumulated loans plus fees), my grandfather would just cough up the
money and pay it off for the sake of the family's "reputation". Now that he's
dead, my uncle (grandma's only son) is doing the same thing.
That's really the worst thing because your family not only enabled the bad behavior
but passed down enablement to the responsible members of your family. Hopefully
someone bucks that trend soon.
[–] llcucf80 6732 points 22 hours ago*
You are told when on a flight that if the oxygen masks come down, put yours on first before
you try to put them on your child.
You can get yours on relatively quickly, but if you're spending all your oxygen trying to fight
your kid first, that's asking for trouble and it might not be enough time to do both that way
Edit: Thanks for the gold :)
[–] yottalogical 1205 points 20 hours ago
Anyone can last quite a while before dying. The problem is that you will lose the motor
control necessary to put on oxygen masks extremely quickly.
If you have yours on, you’ll be able to help anyone around you, and they’ll be fine.
[–] sarahmagoo 2302 points 19 hours ago
I love this video for showing why to put yours on first.

[–] Roxxorursoxxors 1132 points 16 hours ago
The look in his eyes when he said "I don't want6479 · 1194 comments
to die" was amazing. Maybe I'm
projecting, but it was just a complete and totalelectricity
lack of comprehension, with just
for 12 hours after running on the
a
vaguest touch of confusion, and maybe somewhere humanway sizedback there
Hamster was...not
wheel even
for 2 Hours,
fear, but a memory of fear. Like his brain knew it was supposed to be afraid of dying,
but couldn't remember why.
[–] MrPennywhistle 727 points 15 hours ago
I knew what to do, but didn't know how to accomplish it. I was trying to make
my brain make the decision.... but couldn't. After the oxygen came back to my
brain I felt an overwhelming feeling of shame and embarrassment.
[–] cjmook21 242 points 16 hours ago
He has a Reddit account and explained about that.

https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/4u395e/why_you_should_put_your
_mask_on_first/d5n0uqh/
[–] Damn_Dog_Inappropes 710 points 19 hours ago
I work in a nursing home and in the event of an emergency, we should protect ourselves
first. If we all die trying to save Ethyl and Herbert, that means no one is left to save the
other 98 people who live here.
[–] TheRealJackReynolds 364 points 21 hours ago
I've noticed that too. And it always struck me at first as, "Damn, okay..." because we're
taught children should be put first all the time. But you actually think about it for a
second and it makes perfect sense.
[–] champagneinpapercups 41.6k points 20 hours ago x2
Calling out of work when you're really sick.

People get so much crap for calling out but personally I'd rather someone stay home and
not infect the whole place.

[–] BlueComms 11.1k points 18 hours ago
Taking care of yourself in general in regards to work. I had my supervisor ask me if I
was going to be "in the local area" after I put in for two weeks
electricity for 12ofhours
christmas vacation.
after running on a
This was right after a conversation with another person about how we were going to be
understaffed right after I left for vacation.
First, no, I'm going to be in another state, and second, I'm on vacation. I'm not
working. That's the point of a vacation.
[–] Cowboywizzard 4338 points 15 hours ago
Because of this I'm always "going out of town to visit rural relatives" when I am on
vacation, whether I am or not. I tell them there is no cell or internet service where
I'm going.
[–] Nause0us- 5088 points 14 hours ago*
Had a coworker back in the day berated in front of all of us because she didn’t
answer the phone when it was her day off. She was helping her friend with
cancer move. They demanded she either answer next time or give them another
number to reach her on. Her response was polite but basically boiled down to
“this is retail, I make minimum wage, it was my day off and I’m not obligated to
answer when you call. Piss off.”
[–] _My_Angry_Account_ 2656 points 14 hours ago
Hate the expectation from bosses/managers that employees should give a

shit about their jobs when they are typically seen as expendable resources.
Demanding some type of loyalty from employees in an at-will workplace is
laughable.
[–] IveSeenWhatYouGot 2200 points 13 hours ago*
Agreed. I'm a restaurant manager and sometimes we're undersaffed for

various reasons. If someone has the day off I'll give them a call to see if
they want extra hours or want to help out. If they dont answer or they
say no I never hold it against them. I just tell them ok and enjoy their
day off, then move on. I don't understand why it's so hard for other
managers to grasp that.
Edit: Holy shit thank you for the kind words guys and my first silver. I
just want people to know that there is management out there that cares.
[–] Antiepic93 222 points 13 hours ago
Dude im the same way. I am a supervisor in a retail store and when

people call out and I ask someone on their day off to come in I do
not take it to heart if the say no. Shit if its my day off I wouldn't
come in haha. But some managers take it personal and will say "ok
well it seems like they are not committing to the company ima cut
their hours" and im just like da fuck.

[–] RequiemAA 143 points 13 hours ago electricity for 12 hours after running on a
I manage about 30 employees. This kind of manager retribution

fucking infuriates me. It happened to me last year while I was
helping another department as a stand-in for hourly for the
summer... I was like, fucking really??
[–] Allbakedout 511 points 13 hours ago
This guy manages

[–] thessnake03 396 points 13 hours ago
If you want me to answer the phone 24/7, you provide me with a company
cell phone and at least 6 figures a year.
[–] Oseirus 687 points 15 hours ago
There's an inexplicable stigma on resting while you're sick. If anything, when you get
sick, people somehow expect you to work even harder, like catching a cold or having the
runs suddenly means you need to be an inspirational All-Star to everyone else in your
workcenter.
No. Fuck that. If a normally good employee says they're not feeling well, I am the first
person to tell them to take a sick day. It makes no sense to work someone to the bone
like that. They take longer to recover, and all that time spent at work puts everyone else
at risk. I'd rather lose someone for one day than have an entire shop be sick and
miserable for a week.
Exception being those lovely individuals that conveniently feel ill anytime work picks up.
Either stop eating the spicy tacos, see a goddamn doctor, or suck it up and contribute
for a change.
I'm looking at you, Dave.
load more comments (26 replies) If you could run all of your household's
[–] Itssteakliara 1498 points 18 hours ago
And conversely everyone should shun the person who shows up hack coughing and
sneezing with pus coming out of their eyes because they’re “so busy”.
I don’t care - it’s almost 2019 and we have the internet and phones and incredible
technology. Unless you’re in a service industry where you have to be onsite I don’t want
you there, and even then I’d rather wait an extra day or two than have you sneeze the
next plague in my closed vicinity.
[–] electricblues42 608 points 14 hours ago
It's almost always because the employer heavily encourages this, people tend to
view it with pride that they've never taken a sick day or vacation day, as if their
loyalty to their bosses would be reciprocated it in any way.
[–] ihcuwanfs 381 points 15 hours ago
This also goes for the people who never use their pdo and are so burnt out because
they haven't taken a vacation in years. Its like they are afraid people will notice that
it only takes one hour to do what takes them 8. We already know, just take some
time off so your in a better mood and I can stop hearing about how happy you are
it's Friday.
[–] Needlesstosa 11.8k points 18 hours ago x2
Cutting off toxic family members/in-laws. I have cut my narcissistic abusive sister out of my
life and I am in the process of cutting off my mother-in-law. Life is too short to allow abuse
into your life because your abuser is a family member.
[–] odnadevotchka 1939 points 15 hours ago
Fucking preach. I cut my sister too, for the same reasons. My family doesn't really fully
understand since "it's family", but I refuse to justify my reasoning for not keeping my
abuser in my life.
I hope you are doing well, setting those healthy boundaries, and not letting anyone guilt
you about your choices. Your health is more important than their need to harm
[–] goldensnooch 425 points 13 hours ago
Thank you. It’s fucking difficult. Especially when everyone you run into asks “how is
your dad doing?” And the last thing you want to < do
> is talk to him.
discussions in r/AskReddit X
“I mean, what could he have done that was so6479

bad?”, is comments
· 1194 one of the most painful
questions to be asked. If you could run all of your household's
[–] janefromvegas 310 points 13 hours ago
Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to like them or
spend time with them.
I too am a card-carrying member of the Estrangement Club. Once I was old enough
to GTFO, that is exactly what I did.
[–] hopebirmingham 7085 points 22 hours ago
Limiting contact with a friend whose issues are now affecting your own happiness. You have
to look out for yourself, too.
[–] TheRealJackReynolds 1915 points 21 hours ago
Goes right along with the post about "compassion fatigue."

[–] gingerhaole 281 points 14 hours ago
Jesus Christ, that's the first time I ever heard that phrase and it rings like a bell. I've
had to ghost a good friend who's been going through the same major mental health
shit for like 15 years and has been so stubborn about getting help. I can't say the
same shit anymore, can't give advice that will be ignored, can't worry about them
constantly. I have a family, I gotta spend that energy on my kid and my marriage.
[–] VintageDG 317 points 19 hours ago
This is an interesting concept I haven’t heard of before, thank you for sharing as I
feel I recognise it within me. Thank you!
[–] imbluedabadidaa 12.4k points 22 hours ago x3 x2
Thinking about yourself first. You’re no good to others if you aren’t good to yourself.
permalink embed save report reply < > discussions in r/AskReddit X
[–] armadilloradio 3743 points 16 hours ago 6479 · 1194 comments

Secure your own oxygen mask before you attempt to secure the masks of anyone
around you human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
[–] palacesofparagraphs 1496 points 15 hours ago
I love this analogy. As a kid, I always thought that was such a weird thing to have in
the announcement, since we're taught to help others first generally, until my parents
were like, "If you pass out, you can't help anybody." It's a good reminder when
you're feeling obligated to take care of everyone but yourself.
[–] Wander-Malice 1698 points 20 hours ago
Damn I needed to hear this now thanks Reddit person

[–] butternutpansies 8132 points 18 hours ago
Putting your mental health first.

[–] xR4ND4LLx 518 points 13 hours ago
Few months back I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. The whole situation was really
messy but she wanted to stay friends. For a while I did, but I cut off contact when I
realized I was never gonna heal and be able to move on when I was keeping in touch
with her. Going on two months with no contact, and I’m apparently an asshole for
putting myself first. So yes, this.
[–] golde62 4414 points 15 hours ago
Being proud of your work. I have a friend who’s an awesome artist but always says “I don’t
wanna be stuck up” or “I don’t wanna sounds selfish, but I’m very proud of this piece” like
good bitch. That’s some good fucking art, show off what you got
[–] shtLadyLove 2021 points 8 hours ago
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time, and a well known art critic is in
attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist. < > discussions in r/AskReddit X
"It's worthless," says the critic 6479 · 1194 comments

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway." If you could run all of your household's
permalink embed save parent report reply human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
[–] Lucky_Number_3 322 points 8 hours ago
Saving this in case I spontaneously learn how to draw more gooder.

[–] ljung42 9643 points 19 hours ago*
Keeping healthy boundaries with family and friends.

Edit: thank you for my first Gold kind stranger!
[–] cloistered_around 370 points 12 hours ago
"Do not set yourself on fire to keep other people warm."

Compromise, sure. Find a middle ground--but if you're the only one who ever concedes
that isn't healthy.
[–] PlusThirtyOne 651 points 19 hours ago
Anything in traffic when you clearly have the right-of-way.

[–] ashleezy94 10.5k points 19 hours ago* x4 x2
Leaving a relationship even though the other person is threatening that they will kill them
selves. Went through this in my first relationship ever and it was fucked. He’s still alive so I
know he was just trying to manipulate me.
Edit: Thank you all for the positive feedback. And for my first silver! If anybody is going
through this right now just remember you’re strong and you do not have to be manipulated
like this. It’s okay to leave. Edit x2: Thank you for 3 more silvers! Y’all sweet as hell.
[–] Just-Call-Me-J 3991 points 16 hours ago
My mom's therapist told her this: You are not responsible for their actions.
[–] AlexTheLyonn 2297 points 15 hours ago
"You are not responsible for the dysfunction of others"

[–] FriskySour 632 points 15 hours ago
You and me both, internet stranger. I still regret not calling the bluff. I’m out of that
relationship now, but every day afterwards things just got more manipulative and
degrading.
You’ve got my vote for walking.
[–] cpureset 1730 points 16 hours ago
Lost a close relative to suicide right after he was dumped.

It was not his girlfriend's fault. He was temperamental before she ever met him.
People are not responsible for the actions of others.
[–] Back2Bach 28.6k points 21 hours ago x4 x2
Just wanting to be left alone.

[–] Hysterymystery 8241 points 16 hours ago
Back in college, I'd hit the cafeteria or commons for lunch after one of my classes. By
myself. Now, to me, sitting alone at a table eating food for 10 or so minutes is really no
big deal. But everyone else read it as me being sad and lonely and having no friends.
Like, why is this even a thing? Are we so uncomfortable being alone that we can't spend
10 minutes not talking to someone. So anyway, someone I vaguely knew would see me
and "save the day" by offering a place at their table. Now I have to make the awkward
choice of sitting and making small talk with people I kind of know when I really don't
feel like it or saying "Nope, I'd rather sit alone than with you."
[–] Yuzumi 3537 points 16 hours ago
I found walking around with headphones in the whole day meant I could avoid
talking to people.
[–] parliamentofcats 896 points 15 hours ago
Man, last week I was sitting by myself in the library, headphones on, typing on
my laptop, and this random dude comes and sits down next to me just because
he wanted to talk.
Now, I'm fairly friendly so when he started talking I made small talk and when
he asked what I was doing I told him I was working on something, hoping he'd
take the hint to leave me alone. Nope. He tells me he's going to work on
Wallstreet. You know where Wallstreet is? It's the place in New York where big
businesses do their business, pretty cool right?
6479 And
· 1194on and on like that for ten
comments
more minutes while I try to disengage.
Like dude, you're nice and all, but learn how to read a situation. Especially when
someone is alone, at their laptop, wearing headphones, and typing in a library.
[–] MrJereMeeseeks 1015 points 15 hours ago
What else are they used for?

[–] Chuckbro 1387 points 15 hours ago
Looking cool on planes.

[–] Craptastic19 567 points 15 hours ago
Little known fact, headphones can actually conduct sound from various
electronic devices right into your ear holes
[–] Real_Sea_Witch 919 points 15 hours ago
When I was a 20 year old I used to get a paper and go to a restaurant. I’d sit there
alone eating and reading the paper. I probably looked pathetic to a lot of people but
I loved it so much.
[–] grease_monkey 717 points 15 hours ago
You probably looked very mature. Or like a kid who thought they were very
mature.
[–] xDrxGinaMuncher 530 points 15 hours ago
Or like three kids in a trench coat.


[–] iamgavor 371 points 17 hours ago 6479 · 1194 comments

I want to be left alone most of the time. Trouble iselectricity
I'm happily
for 12married with
hours after two kids.
running on a
It's a fine and slightly stressful balancing act. human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
[–] basquiart 963 points 18 hours ago
Christ, I can relate to this one so much. So many people approach me on the street and
I just always want to be left alone but I feel terrible for ignoring them. I’m really
anxious about people talking to me in public while I’m alone and it seems like every
time I go outside people want to get in my face and talk to me
[–] Bwambochan 591 points 17 hours ago
Invest in sunglasses and ear buds. I visited NYC and the locals will do that to get the
crazy people to leave them alone. I adopted it and works wonders.
[–] PrancingPony88 256 points 16 hours ago
I live in a city and I always wear earbuds. Most of the time I’m not even
listening to anything but it helps me to maintain my personal bubble.
[–] NjStacker22 10.6k points 21 hours ago
Not donating money at drive-thru's, convenience stores, department stores, etc. Most of the
organizations are extremely top heavy and a very small portion of the donated amount
actually goes towards what you're donating to.
[–] WombatBeans 1117 points 18 hours ago
I work retail we have the donation question on the pin pad. Just click no. I’m not
judging none of my coworkers are judging. Click no go about your day we legitimately
do not care.
The people I do judge are the ones that say no but have to defend themselves to me
about what an awesome person they are and all the things they donate to and how dare
I make them feel bad and ask them for more money blah blah blah.
I didn’t put that question there I don’t care what you say to it. I say no to it.
[–] AlreadyShrugging 4686 points 20 hours ago

I refuse to do any point-of-sale donations because:
They use it as a metric to judge low-level employees
If you couldbased
run allon how household's
of your many
electricity
donations they collect. Note, this is not the same for 12 hourssomeone
as expecting after running
whoonwas
a
hired as a salesperson to meet sales quotas for the product they were hired to sell.
The charitable organisations may go against what the employee may believe. They
were hired to be a cashier at a big box store (just as a common example), not be
a spokesperson/solicitor for XYZ charity.
They conveniently enjoy the tax deduction from all those donations. It's not worth
it for an individual to deduct a $1 donation made at a store, but the store sure can
enjoy deducting the donations made by millions of customers if they are a national
retailer.
It puts customers in awkward positions when saying "no" to the cashier.
Donate on your own time, your own terms, and to the organisations you truly believe in.
Leave the cashier out of it.
[–] braden87 3180 points 18 hours ago*
"Would you like to donate to children's cancer/aids/hunger campaign ?"

"No I hate kids"
50/50 for the cashier to either laugh or look at you like a sociopath. It's a fun game,
would recommend.
[–] chewbaccascousinsbro 1698 points 17 hours ago
“No. I like kids and wish them well but I hate most adults and if I pay for this
cause there will just be more of them running around.”
Bonus points if the cashier describes you in some "Name your worst customer"
Ask Reddit thread.
[–] lucky_ducker 575 points 19 hours ago
It puts customers in awkward positions when saying "no" to the cashier.

I always smile, shake my head, and say "sorry, not today."
Lots of people completely lack the ability to say no, especially when in full view
of other customers in the line and being put on the spot. It's exploitative and I
am glad you don't let it exploit you. I just say "No thanks" and nothing else.
[–] ultralink22 65 points 17 hours ago human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
Yeah I just say not this time and act like the one donation I made months ago
counts as too frequent.
[–] pjabrony 278 points 19 hours ago
When they ask me, I say, "No thank you." It throws them off because it makes it seem
like they're doing me a favor.
[–] FarEndofNoveria 228 points 18 hours ago
"No thank you" is a great comeback for ton of awkward situations where someone
asks you to do something. Especially useful with demanding and disrespectful
relatives.
[–] Caveman_ATX 617 points 15 hours ago
Not wanting to go to your destination wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I love you both, and
would love to celebrate your nuptials but I’m not taking my vacation time or spending
money on airplane tickets, hotels, activities, and gifts because you thought it would be cool
get married in Jamaica in March.
[–] ffabulousness 151 points 14 hours ago
Agreed. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and selfish to expect people to travel and spend
potentially thousands to attend a wedding.
[–] yungun_onion 1096 points 21 hours ago
Maybe not giving money out when people need it? I know it's just $5 but my roommate
owes me $10, my sister owes me $50, I owe PG&E $43, Phil owes me $3, Jackson owes me
$6, and Robert owes me $5.
Yeah I quit doing the small lending among friends.If It
youadds
coulduprunquickly andhousehold's
all of your in every group
there is that one who always can't pay their share.
[–] INeedAGoodStory 7354 points 23 hours ago
Self care. I try to treat myself once a month to something, be it have my nails done, hair
cut, massage, etc. Every freaking time I do, SOMEONE has to say, "Wow, must be nice.
Wish I could do that." You can, Susan. Don't buy lunch from work every day and you could
easily do whatever it is that I did.
[–] zoinksjpeg 2033 points 22 hours ago*
Right! or even just spend a bit of time where money is lacking! Just have a night to
yourself. Take a bath, shave, do your nails, moisturize, do a face mask, drink some tea,
watch a favorite movie. It's so worth relaxing, it's always worth spending some time
with yourself.
Edit: woke up to lots of love and my first silver, thank you so much!
Yes, and it's NECESSARY. We live such hectic lives we have come to believe that we
don't deserve to do little things because there just isn't enough time. You sacrifice
pieces of yourself to keep up in the rat race instead of realizing you can keep up
much better when you're relaxed and happy, not stressed all the time and feeling
like there is nothing to look forward to but more stress.
[–] Taco__Lips 1225 points 17 hours ago
Oh god I get this when I mention I travel or that I'm single with no kids... you get that
snarky "MUST BE NICE" and I just say 'yes, yes it is!'
"It really is! I have so much money I don't know what to do with it. Vacation?
Second home? Another two seater car? I'm baffled."
[–] leadinmypencil 364 points 16 hours ago
"But you know what I really appreciate? It's freedom. Freedom to do what I
want when I want and not be answerable to anyone."
"Oh, and money."
load more comments (21 replies) human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
[–] Beefcake-II 546 points 17 hours ago
My girlfriends sister does this but its less about the money and more about the fact that
she has a kid and we dont. Im sorry you decided to take on that responsibility but we
are supposed to feel bad about living our own lives the way we choose?
Does she make you feel bad about doing things you want? That's terrible if so. I
understand completely the stress of having a child (I have one and I lived in a
different state than my family so I didn't have much help when she was younger)
but I would never complain to someone for ... not? having that responsibility. Seems
a weird thing to guilt you for, though I suppose it happens. "You CHOOSE not to
bring a wonderful ball of joy into your lives? How EMPTY AND MEANINGLESS IT
MUST BE TO JUST BE SITTING ON A BEACH SIPPING DRINKS AND NOT WORRY
ABOUT YOUR CHILD RUNNING INTO THE WATER UNATTENDED". Those people seem
to be miserable no matter the circumstances though.
[–] HiddenAmongTheCrowd 6369 points 21 hours ago
Keeping a snack/candy to yourself because you spent your own money on it.
[–] LilLizardBoi 3197 points 17 hours ago*
I remember once I spent my last 3$ on my favorite candy and one of my classmates

just fucking tried to reach his slimy hand into my bag and take one and apparently I
was the asshole for slapping his had away.
Even after telling him that I spent the last of my money on this candy and that it was
literally the only good thing to happen to me all day I was still seen as the ass hole.
Edit: hand not had
[–] number__ten 1195 points 16 hours ago
had away
What is love
load more comments (35 replies) < > discussions in r/AskReddit X

[–] bunnehball 697 points 16 hours ago If you could run all of your household's
If I buy something I like, it gets hidden. I grew up with guys. I've had entire pots of
chili, pans of non pot laced brownies, and 5 pounds of freshly fried chicken strips
disappear in seconds. I did not get a single strip.
However, I do share if I'm trying a new recipe or treat, I share. If it's not to my liking,
it's easy to unload. Or it got messed up. A friend and I tried a sugar cookie recipe that
I've not tried before and forget to put in the sugar. It somehow was edible, but not
great. She dropped it off and they disappeared
Edit: hit submit before finishing the sugar cookies story
[–] missag_2490 749 points 17 hours ago
This. When I was younger I would get something I really wanted with my money and
then other people (adults) would force me to share it. As an adult, fuck that. I
understand sharing but I literally hide stuff now subconsciously because I was always
forced to share the things I wanted. Also don’t assume you can have some and reach
cuz I will get defensive. I will be teaching my kid that it’s okay to not share sometimes.
This is a little sensitive for me.
[–] helloiamsilver 465 points 16 hours ago
I remember way too many times as a kid adults would make me give younger kids
my toys to play with and then when the younger kids wouldn’t give them back I was
just supposed to let them keep the toy because I was older and more mature and
supposed to share etc. Fuck that. That’s my thing and now you’re just teaching the
younger kid to be selfish and spoiled.
[–] Mars-needs-guitars 350 points 15 hours ago
As the elder child this hit me way to fucking hard. I'll never forgive my mom for
making me share my ninja turtles to my younger cousins and all I got back was
Leo's right arm, I cried for fucking days because it took over me a year to save
up for all of them.
[–] alterego1104 199 points 15 hours ago
They broke your things? That you saved for?? That’s unacceptable. There are
two sides to sharing. You should teach your children how to share and/or
take turns. You also need to teach your children respect of others peoples
things , and asking permission to use them. There will always come a time
when someone will say “NO”. Accept it.... move on. That’s terrible.
Edit: ( dang talk text) Words, punctuation etc Sigh 😔
load more comments (19 replies) < > discussions in r/AskReddit X

load more comments (25 replies) human sized Hamster wheel for 2 Hours,
[–] FahdKrath 1942 points 19 hours ago
Not giving to panhandlers.

[–] thecrocodile44 1044 points 17 hours ago
I worked at a casino. One of our third tier level card holders panhandled. You have to
spend nearly a half million in a year to reach that tier level. Apparently he was making
bank standing on the corners with his signs.
It pissed every employee off something fierce, considering we barely made minimum
wage and he panhandled and was a level 3 card member.
[–] te4mrocket 787 points 19 hours ago
Saw a guy twice in one day in the same spot with two different signs. Cancer AND open
heart surgery? Damn. If true I do feel bad for you, but sorry I'm gonna keep my money.
[–] Endulos 466 points 18 hours ago
Haha, that reminded me of some local ads that play.

There's a voice actor whose played in a number of local ads, mostly involving
medical stuff. Dudes had quite a life.
He's a diabetic truck driver who cured his diabetes at a gym (Ad for a local
gym)
He's had open heart surgery at a local hospital (Ad for donating money to the
local hospital)
He's had cancer and survived (Same as the previous commercial)
He was in a car wreck that paralyzed him, but recovered (Ad for an insurance
agency)
He had a kidney donated to him (Again, ad for local hospital)
There's others but I've forgotten him.
[–] notsofamous06 7277 points 22 hours ago*
Cutting ties with extremely toxic people. Some people are not meant to stay and you don’t
owe them any explanation
Edit: Wow, I didn’t expect so many comments and a silver.discussions in r/AskReddit
< > X
Thanks people, I’ll be reading all
the comments 6479 · 1194 comments
[–] RuthlessRavenclaw 1195 points 16 hours ago*
Even if they’re your mom.

Edit: oh wow. I didn’t expect this to blow up. I’ve read all your responses. Hang in
there!! It just so happened I got a phone call yesterday and was told I need to make
things right with my mom. She’s depressed, blah blah blah. I won’t get into everything
that happened recently, but she’s destructive. She ruins every positive thing in her life. I
DO NOT need it in my life anymore. I’m 30 years old. She’s done enough damage. I
need to be there for my daughter now.
[–] SloppyMeathole 2638 points 22 hours ago
Not taking out loans to pay for your kids college when you probably could (but it would be a
stretch).
My parents explained to me that I can take out loans for school, but they can't take out
loans for retirement. They wanted to help financially but couldn't.
At the time I was a little upset. But in the end it was a good thing. I chose an inexpensive
state university, lived at home to cut out room and board, then found out I could graduate
in 3 years, and have my first year of law school count for my last year of my undergrad. I
came out of college (around 2004) with only ~15k in debt, total. It taught me to value
money and not to over spend on education.
[–] philth_ 1005 points 20 hours ago
This is one of those parenting decisions you lament when you are young, but respect as
you get older.
[–] The_Neck 363 points 20 hours ago*
Everyday I get older my father gets smarter.
Come to think of it this might actually qualify as an answer to this post.

[–] hiten42 568 points 19 hours ago
I wanted to go to an expensive, overrated school that would cost 63k a year to attend.
My parents said no, we can't, and I felt devastated.
I put a ton of work into high school and I wanted to show it off with a nice university
school title. I felt like I deserved this after all the studying I put into high school! It just
felt like a huge letdown, since peers who's grades<were way lowerinthan
> discussions mine were goingX
r/AskReddit
to the same university that I ended up going to. I'm 6479still
· 1194a comments
little salty about that, as I felt
that I could have put maybe 60% of the effort into If high school
you could run and
all ofstill
yourended up at the
household's
same college. electricity for 12 hours after running on a
Honestly, the hard work in high school paid dividends. I had good study habits and
understood the best way for me to learn. If my professors sucked, I still knew how to
teach myself outside of the classroom.
I graduated on time with no debt, had a job after graduation, and recently joined a fairly
reputable software company! Yeah people went to Stanford, Harvard, or Princeton while
I went to a no-name public university.. but we work at the same place now. ;)
My parents were definitely right on that one.
[–] SloppyMeathole 756 points 19 hours ago
Congrats to you.
Several years ago I had a funny conversation at work with an Ivy League alum that
went something like this.
Me: I went to [public school] and came out of with less than $15,000 loans.
Co worker: I feel like I got a better education at my private school. I have $250,000
in loans, but it was worth it. The school is very prestigious and employers care about
pedigree.
Me: We work at the same place.
[–] needathneed 4590 points 17 hours ago x2
This may get buried but I just had to end my marriage of 9 years due to my partner's
addiction. I was losing myself in their descent and spiral and I couldn't take it any more. It's
still really fresh and really painful (and actually today is our fucking anniversary) but it's
what I need to do for myself to keep myself alive. I need to trust they will find their way
without me and I'll find my way too. Thanks for reading.
[–] i_said_no_mayonnaise 869 points 15 hours ago
As the addict, I totally respect what you said. Addiction is a very selfish disease and no
one can guarantee sobriety. I hope the best for you.
[–] bubbubbub41 418 points 16 hours ago
Addiction is such a complicated thing. If anyone ever dared to call you selfish, I would
have some words. I bet this took so much strength. I hope you get to take the time to
heal and do what's best for you.

[–] CutieBoBootie 256 points 15 hours ago If you could run all of your household's
You are a person with your own agency. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else
warm.
Ending a relationship is hard and it is okay to mourn it. I'm sorry you have to go
through this. You'll find your own way. I know it.
[–] Dharmsara 15.9k points 22 hours ago
Not wanting to contribute to the leaving gift for a coworker that you barely knew
[–] thatdarnnumber117 6361 points 22 hours ago
I'm OK with contributing for a gift for a co worker I don't know well, but I get along
with. But, I'm not OK with being asked for a contribution if they are leaving the same
week I start.
[–] MicolashTheHelioisk 1169 points 17 hours ago
Sounds like that episode of friends when Ross moved in to the new apartment
building lol
[–] CitizenCAN_mapleleaf 1560 points 21 hours ago
What if it's for Debbie Brown? She got fired 'cuz of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass
around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her
through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people?
It's tragic. It's just tragic
I think the practice of asking around for money at work needs to be eliminated entirely.
I am here to work and make money, not spend money on people I barely know when I
have my own struggles at home while trying to budget for my family.
[–] krukson 1849 points 19 hours ago
Oh boy, you’re gonna love my story. 2 years ago I was working for a big consulting
firm. I’m talking 8 billion dollars in revenue big. We had an office with fully stocked
kitchen for employees and all kinds of perks. We < > alsodiscussions
had a cleaning lady who was
in r/AskReddit X
taking care of the whole floor every day. She would clean the dishes, stock up the
fridge, etc. One day, our manager came to us and If youtold usrun
could theallcleaning lady can
of your household's
barely make it on her shitty wage, and was in a electricity for 12 situation
really tough hours afterfinancially.
running on aSo
to resolve the situation, said manager asked all employees to chip in to give her a
bonus.. I said no, and everyone else hated me for that. But wtf. I mean, corporate
could afford all this shit for regular employees, but they made US pay the cleaning
lady? Totally fucked up.
[–] PM_ME_YOUR_MATH_ROCK 1251 points 19 hours ago
So they basically wanted their employees to pay their other employee so the
company wouldn't have to.
[–] sonofaresiii 67 points 15 hours ago
While it's shitty, it's worth keeping in mind that the one asking for donations
was almost certainly not the one approving her pay and benefits
[–] Fett2 2664 points 21 hours ago
Imitation crab meat, it actually comes from fish!

[–] pjabrony 1218 points 19 hours ago
Comes across as shellfish. Got it.

[–] Man_with_lions_head 641 points 15 hours ago
You know that thing where you go out to dinner with a bunch of people, everybody orders
expensive stuff and wine and desert, but you just order an inexpensive salad? Then the bill
comes, and they decide to split it, and say you owe $235 for your inexpensive salad?
Yeah, fuck that.
Me: "Hey, guys, I ordered a $10 salad, I'm not paying $235." I guess that is not really
selfish, just sticking up for yourself. What co-diner would be pissed if you said this? None.
So, what I am saying, if this ever happens to you, speak up and don't go with the program.
No one will judge you.
Source: Happened to me once. Once.
So, for you youngsters, they say you should learn from others' mistakes? Learn this one.
And, make double-damn sure you ask up front if you6479 are· paying
1194 comments
your own way, or splitting
equally, when you are first asked to go. That way, you can pass. That's the other thing I
learned and do. "Hey, is this a pay your own way, or human
split equal
sized deal?
HamsterI'm a light
wheel for 2eater and
Hours,
don't want to pay $235 for a $12 salad." That's what you say. In a joking way, but makes
the point.
This is if you're not going out for some important meeting with your bosses bosses boss. Or
something like that. That's a different situation.
[–] guccigarbage 272 points 13 hours ago
Never unstood splitting the bill when you’re with a group of friends, just pay for your
own food damn
[–] OrangeRealname 64 points 14 hours ago
some important meeting with your bosses bosses boss

They better be not just paying for my food, but for the ride home too.
[–] casualcat96 79 points 17 hours ago*
Saying no.
I used to say yes whenever somebody needed me or needed something from me. After
going through a few events where I desperately needed somebody to be there for me in the
same way (and nobody was), I realized running myself until I’m dead tired trying help and
please others isn’t worth it.
I don’t have to hang out with people I don’t want to. I don’t have to rearrange my schedule
to swap a shift with my coworker who has poor life planning skills. I don’t have to pet sit for
you even though you know I have nothing else going on that weekend. Last but not least,
I’m not going to be a last minute add on to your vacation because your other friend backed
out and you can’t find somebody else to go.
No excuses necessary, the word “no” is enough. People act like this is some mind boggling
thing and it’s somehow rude.
Edited to add: not buying junk from my coworkers when their kids have a fundraiser at
school or whatever. Over priced junk. Again: No.
[–] Sauce_McDog 2152 points 21 hours ago*
Not giving a baseball to a kid at a game. I’ve never caught a ball at a game in my life and
it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Granted I’m absolutely not gonna shove some kid
aside to get it but if I caught it I shouldn’t be shamed and guilted into just giving it away.
Edit: for those saying I’ll just throw it on a shelf while some kid will get more enjoyment out
of it, not necessarily. I grew up playing baseball and <revere the game.
> discussions Catching a ball and X
in r/AskReddit
displaying it would remind me of accomplishing something I’ve
6479 · 1194 wanted since I was young. It
comments
may just be a ball to you but it holds some value to me. If youPlus I have
could run allaof2your
yearhousehold's
old daughter
and want to give them to her to hopefully pass on my passion for baseball to her. on a
electricity for 12 hours after running
[–] m34tbag 884 points 16 hours ago
Just say "sorry, im giving it to my nephew, poor thing is stuck in hospital with leukemia"
Nobody will question you
[–] sofingclever 813 points 17 hours ago
This is a relatively new thing. When I was a kid, not that long ago, no one would have
dreamed of asking someone else for a ball.
[–] kitty_logan 263 points 16 hours ago
Right! Isn’t the pride that you caught it yourself? Otherwise you could just buy it in
the gift shop.
[–] NotThrowAwayAccount9 647 points 17 hours ago
Applies to any situation where an adult gets something and a kid is nearby. Not sure
when it became mandatory to give them whatever you got because they are a kid.
Often the moment will be more treasured by the adult than the kid.
[–] GTheMan2576783 494 points 16 hours ago
Now this is my recent story from last week

I went to a place with a arcade last week and had won a bunch of tickets and wasn’t
showing them off just had them shoved in my pockets(I got to obsessed with this
sonic basketball thing and ski ball) and these two kids maybe no old than 7 and 9
the 7 year old ask how many tickets I have and tell him no idea(which I don’t) and
than proceeds to ask me if he could have them. I of course said no and this 7 year
old kids throws a fit and the 9 year old goes to get either his parents or his teenage
sister and her boyfriend and demand I give the two of them my tickets to get a
thing. The teenager or parent comes over tells me to do so and this kid is just
balling his eyes out screaming causing a scene. I just again said no and left there. If
they were teenagers not sure why they would assume a grown adult would just give
over the tickets and if their parents then it seems they have bratty kids.
[–] narcmcnarc 109 points 16 hours ago < > discussions in r/AskReddit X
This happened to me and my brother at a cardinals practice, the players were walking
past the lines signing item for everyone and this kid tried
If you to run
could shove
all ofpast
yourus with his mom
household's
and the mom started complaining that her kid wanted thatfor
electricity signature
12 hours and
after she should
running on a get
it over us since we were almost adults, my and my human sized response,
brothers Hamster wheel“yeahfor 2 Hours,
sorry,
we’ve been waiting here for over an hour, should of gotten here earlier” she was pissed
but I didn’t see the problem, just because you have a kid doesn’t mean you’re entitled
to do things like this.
[–] RoseCatalyst 996 points 19 hours ago
Having "deal breaker" standards for potential partners.

[–] AncientRiver 226 points 19 hours ago
Doing whatever it is you need to do to heal, preserve, or strengthen your soul.

[–] mlpbprice 153 points 16 hours ago
Wanting your housemates to keep the noise down. It’s common decency, honestly.
[–] Guazzabuglio 4738 points 22 hours ago*
Not having kids.

Edit: thanks for the Reddit funny money. I don't know what to do with it.
[–] yellowmellowjellow 507 points 15 hours ago
Yep. We're selfish about not wanting someone that doesn't exist.
[–] funkyjiveturkey 123 points 14 hours ago
I've always thought this way to. If I had kids are I'd be selfish going around saying I
never wanted them.
But how am I selfish for not caring for a person that doesn't fucking exist? Am I
selfish because they wish they could have done differently in life?
[–] sharpshooter88 72 points 15 hours ago

Not buying overpriced popcorn from Boy Scouts.
I still do and respect the kid coming to my door but you shouldn’t
If you could run be allowed
all of to use kids in
your household's
a situation where companies make money. I’d ratherelectricity
just givefor 12 cash.
you hours after running
At least Girlon a
Scout
cookies are 6 bucks.

[–] bibliophile4787 72 points 14 hours ago
Asking for no visitors at the hospital right after giving birth.

[–] blackcoffiend 134 points 17 hours ago
Not sharing your supplies with fellow art students who consistently come to class with
nothing.
[–] ThatBritishPleb 474 points 18 hours ago
To my family apparently, just sitting contently in silence. Apparently im rude for not wanting
to join in their inane conversations.
[–] underclassamigo 99 points 15 hours ago
This is the issue my partners family has with me. I'll gladly talk if I feel there's
something I can contribute but I'm perfectly content with just sitting in silence whilst
they have their own conversation.
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Acknowledging that you don't have the

of the well-kept grandma who occasionally forgets

[–] TerribleAttitude 1604 points 17 hours ago

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[–] NotMyHersheyBar 7843 points 15 hours ago

My co-worker thinks "Good morning, how are

This is why I stick to "good morning!". This

It’s so effective. Smile and wave, look

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[–] FukkenDesmadrosaALV 806 points 15 hours ago

My God, you just broke my mind.

[–] Losephos 196 points 14 hours ago

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[–] KommodoreKRool 539 points 15 hours ago

Rejection makes people ashamed even if it makes sense.

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[–] rngtrtl 13.0k points 19 hours ago*

[–] Jazehiah 3750 points 15 hours ago

I wish my Dad had given me the following advice earlier:

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