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What’s the one rule you’ll always follow
1816 no matter what?
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Submitted on 12 Dec 2018
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[–] anonlaw 3454 points 20 hours ago
The only person you have to live with forever is

Rules:
you. Make sure you can live with you and your (hover for more info)
decisions.
permalink embed save report reply You must post a clear and direct question
in the title. The title may contain two,
[–] pupsnpogonas 258 points 15 hours ago short, necessary context sentences. No
1
text is allowed in the textbox. Your
Have you ever read “The Man in the Glass?” It’s thoughts/responses to the question can
taped to my mirror. go in the comments section. more >>
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Any post asking for advice should be
[–] anonlaw 93 points 14 hours ago 2 generic and not specific to your situation
The Man in the Glass alone. more >>
I had not. Thank you for sharing. I just went

and read it. Yep, that's it. Askreddit is for open-ended discussion
3
questions. more >>
load more comments (5 replies) Posting, or seeking, any identifying

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[–] Thegreatherakles 2220 points 19 hours ago Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal
5
Rule number one : Don't Panic army, or advertising platform. more >>
My dad has drilled this into my head since I was

Questions seeking professional advice
old enough to understand him and so far it's
6 are inappropriate for this subreddit and
worked out will be removed. more >>
permalink embed save report reply
[–] An_Uninvited_Dog 138 points 15 hours ago

Soliciting money, goods, services, or
7
favours is not allowed. more >>
Reminds me of Adam Savage, "Calm people
live. Tense people die."
Mods reserve the right to remove content
permalink embed save parent report reply or restrict users' posting privileges as
8 necessary if it is deemed detrimental to
[–] SonofHarold 11 points 5 hours ago the subreddit or to the experience of
By that logic Jamey will live forever! others. more >>

Comment replies consisting solely of
9
images will be removed. more >>
[–] Zoidberg1028 379 points 16 hours ago If you think your post has disappeared, see
Yeah, in a panic state, you're no use to anyone. spam or an inappropriate post, please do
not hesitate to contact the mods, we're
permalink embed save parent report reply happy to help.
[–] 1075701 113 points 14 hours ago
If anything, you make things worse

permalink embed save parent report reply Tags to use:
[Serious]
Use a [Serious] post tag to designate
your post as a serious, on-topic-only
[–] NMunkM 63 points 11 hours ago
thread.
One time I was scuba diving in low visibility
water so I couldn’t see my partner very well, so
I tried to catch up with him but my rebreather Filter posts by subject:
hose got caught on a rock and made the
rebreather start free flowing (when there’s Mod posts Serious posts
nothing stopping the air in the tank from
escaping) me knowing I had roughly 30 Megathread Breaking news
seconds left of air before I ran out, and a
resurface would be dangerous because of the Unfilter
high pressure change I, instead of panicking,
took a deep breath and took a few seconds to
get calm, and I fixed the free flow by hitting on
Do you have ideas or feedback for
a rock, while it was upside down. Askreddit? Submit to /r/Ideasforaskreddit.
I don’t know what would have happened if I
didn’t stay calm but I think about it everyday
load more comments (1 reply) Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers.
>!insert spoiler here!<
[–] jivanhubbard 225 points 13 hours ago
And don’t forget your towel.

Other subreddits you might like:
load more comments (3 replies) Ask Others Self & Others
[–] MaxHannibal 25 points 12 hours ago Find a subreddit Learn something

This is a guy that knows where his towel is.
Meta Subs What is this ___
load more comments (1 reply) AskReddit Offshoots Offers & Assistance
[–] BatScribeofDoom 79 points 16 hours ago

Ever read the reddiquette? Take a peek!
Is he a Douglas Adams fan, by any chance? :)
css by qtx a community for 10 years
[–] Thegreatherakles 81 points 16 hours ago
No he was an EMT for most of my childhood MODERATORS MESSAGE THE MODERATORS
with certs in swift water rescue, rope rescue

krispykrackers
and a few other things.
flyryan
permalink embed save parent report reply Ooer
canipaybycheck
[–] BatScribeofDoom 21 points 16 hours ago roastedbagel
ani625
Had a feeling the answer was no, but was
TheJackal8
curious. sexrockandroll
It's solid advice either way! e36
IranianGenius
...and 18 more »
[–] Thegreatherakles 19 points 16 hours ago

< > discussions in r/AskReddit X
Yeah dad has some stories of people
29.0k · 7282 comments
panicking and having to basically
Reddit, As of Lately, What Has Been The
giving them a Gibbs slap to straighten BEST Thing You've Recently Discovered on
them out the Internet?
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reply
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[–] neoplatonistGTAW 33 points 15 hours ago
The Full-Bore Linear-Panic is a very effective means of escape from a dangerous

situation, just saying. The idea is not to keep from panicking, but instead to panic in the
correct manner.
[–] EUW_Ceratius 31 points 15 hours ago
Absolutely. Panicking literally never helps. It's better to try and keep calm and figure
something out with all of you resources than to panic and try to use maybe a quarter.
[–] Jauncin 1133 points 18 hours ago*
Thank those doing what are considered menial jobs.

That dude cleaning the gym locker room has gainful employment and makes my life nicer
and cleaner. It absolutely amounts to nothing for me to give thanks and it will hopefully
provide someone in a thankless job thanks.
And I have had to clean toilets at a job in my past. This isn’t benevolence, this is
recognizing another human.
[–] onehitwondur 128 points 14 hours ago
Thank you for thinking others. You're right, costs us nothing. Things that cost nothing
should be given for free
[–] luckycharmz13 1940 points 20 hours ago
Don’t make promises when you’re happy, don’t make decisions when you’re mad.
[–] jburd88_ 652 points 20 hours ago
And always jerk one out before making an important choice.

[–] Virus64 123 points 17 hours ago
What if my choice is to have sex, or jerk off alone?

[–] AudioPuppit 151 points 16 hours ago
Still jerk off either way.

[–] viggowl 217 points 20 hours ago
It scares me how important this is.

[–] The_Lost_Google_User 74 points 13 hours ago
It is surprisingly effective.
[–] Adeloastro 25 points 11 hours ago
This rule really helped me and my family when we had to decide whether or not to
take grandma off life support.
[–] jpterodactyl [ ] 2341 points 20 hours ago
I will always use my turn signal.

If I'm totally alone on an empty street at 2am, going from being parked on the side of the
road to wanting to merge into the street, I'll still use it.
[–] sabbacabbage 597 points 17 hours ago
Good idea. I wish the 18 year old girl who almost killed me on my motorcycle followed
this rule. She "thought she was alone". She did a sudden u-turn in front of me and I t-
boned her going 60 MPH. yeah.....I like your rule.
Edit: this like like 6 years ago and I haven't touched a motorcycle since. Scared straight
I guess. Can't trust other drivers.
[–] Ididitforthelulz22 200 points 14 hours ago

^
This is why I’ll never be a motorcycle guy. Basically, you operate with the
assumption that people around you know how to drive.
Hate to kill the suspense ,but people are terrible drivers.
I can’t tell you the amount of times people who I have met share similar stories
where they did nothing wrong except drive near an imbecile.
[–] TurtleWaffles 81 points 12 hours ago
Whenever I drive, I always operate under the assumption that everything on the
road is out to kill you.
I think that this becomes intensified ten fold when you hop on a motorcycle or
even a bicycle.
You should always be asking yourself what the worst case scenario of any
situation is on the road, whether it's a question of which idiot at that four-way
stop doesn't know right-of-way, or always assuming that not a single person on
the road will be checking their blind spots. You should probably always assume
the worst.
[–] helipod 26 points 12 hours ago
That's cause you're doing it wrong, you're supposed to operate with the
assumption that people around you don't know you're there.
[–] deev85 70 points 17 hours ago
Any turn feels wrong with out having signaled.

[–] Black_Moons 43 points 16 hours ago
Agreed. I find myself signaling sometimes when its just a sharp right in the road
with no way to continue on straight.
[–] May0naise 35 points 17 hours ago
Amen.
It’s all about letting others know what you’re doing. If I have my signal on people know
I’m turning/merging/etc. Id much rather have someone beep at me than accidentally
merge lanes into someone because I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t let them know I
was coming over.
[–] ayriana 30 points 16 hours ago
Yes. And seat belts. My mom still gives me shit for wearing my seat belt at the drive in
movie theater when I was a kid because I didn't feel comfortable sitting in the car
without it.
[–] practicalcabinet 20 points 15 hours ago
Yes.
Fun story: one time, as a pedestrian, I was waiting to cross the road at a y-junction in a
one way road. Cars would approach and, because it was one way, not indicate. Why not,
it doesn't affect other drivers, right?. well, I waited about five minutes because it was a
constant stream of traffic, and nobody was indicating. most cars would use the other
fork, but enough were using mine to not risk it. If they'd all indicated, I could have
walked off rather than stand there like a lemon.
[–] Evan_Wants_Soup 64 points 15 hours ago*
You... I like you

A lot of drivers I see think that turning signals are only for other drivers. If they're alone
on the road, they don't seem to use it. As a pedestrian, this pisses me off. Like, dude, I
wouldn't have started walking if you just used your damn turning signal.
The other one is people who turn on the signal 0.5 seconds before they turn. What does
this accomplish?
[–] jpterodactyl [ ] 22 points 15 hours ago
That too. I had no car for a long time. I walked all over. The amount of times I had
to deal with not being able to predict the turns people make was insane.
And yeah, if you’re going to do it a second before you make your move, or during,
that’s so dumb. It’s like you know you’re supposed to, but haven’t figured out why
somehow.
[–] wooplahh 75 points 19 hours ago
happy cake day and we need more of you on our streets. Turn signals are almost
ingrained in me, like a reflex. You know how you piss whenever you step into the
showers, same should apply to turning
[–] redmeyr 13 points 16 hours ago
like a reflex
[–] Hcysntmf 14 points 16 hours ago
Using my indicators is such a force of habit, I used to spin around in my own driveway
and indicate. Not ashamed of this ahaha.
[–] TFielding38 11 points 17 hours ago
Yep. I have been deep in the woods on a long abandoned logging road, and I still use it.
Better to have it as a reflex
[–] HawxHunter 1112 points 17 hours ago
Always assume it's loaded.

[–] Top_Wop 316 points 14 hours ago
And also assume the safety is off.

[–] AevumInvicta 125 points 13 hours ago
Safety... always off. Now fuck off, I’ve got work to do.
[–] Bishop0420 40 points 12 hours ago
Why don’t you fuck off and then we’ll fuck off
[–] chocolatetorpedo 61 points 11 hours ago
The waitress when I order nachos...

[–] Mike122844 20 points 10 hours ago
Treat every weapon as if it were loaded. Never point a weapon at anything you don’t
intend to shoot. Keep your finger straight and off the trigger until ready to fire. Keep
your weapon on safe until ready to fire. Know your target and what lies beyond.
[–] Gdroku 3915 points 20 hours ago
Don't smoke meth

[–] backcountrybrian 453 points 15 hours ago
Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Don’t do heroin.

[–] RMT002 60 points 9 hours ago
That's too much, man!

[–] fossil12 90 points 19 hours ago
Lol does that mean you're down to eat it, snort it, or shoot it up?
[–] AlreadyShrugging 69 points 17 hours ago
Healthier for teeth and nose. As for shooting it up, if done properly by someone who
knows what they are doing in a sterile environment, that is technically the safest
way to take any drug.
[–] alicecarroll 124 points 19 hours ago
I think this deserves more upvotes.

[–] FailFTW 393 points 19 hours ago
Leave work at work.

[–] TheRealPizza 113 points 12 hours ago
But I work from home

[–] MasterOfArmsIsGood 112 points 11 hours ago
leave work at home

[–] cryystalskull 25 points 9 hours ago
Leave home at home.

[–] xpo140 2005 points 20 hours ago
You should not confuse your career with your life.

[–] 1Rab 668 points 16 hours ago
I'm at a stage where I've confused my career with my life. On one hand, I am 25
earning $90K in a cheap area. On the other hand, I haven't had sex in 6 years.
[–] LordHudson30 1066 points 15 hours ago
Wow I'm doing the same thing but without a career!

[–] poachedeggrolt 98 points 15 hours ago
I just had a conversation with my friend earlier that I haven't really been out there
in the dating scene (like only barely) compared to maybe a few months ago and he
said it's cause I'm too focused on my career. He also said I had shitty jobs before
but my dating life was pretty good, now that I have a pretty great job my dating life
is shit. Oh well...
[–] RJ-Kustoms 47 points 13 hours ago
cause now that you have a good job & are doing good in life, you raise your
standards.
[–] MiloClancey 98 points 20 hours ago
Better yet, don't have a career. Just to be on the safe side.

[–] CJ_M88 64 points 16 hours ago
2 types of people. Those that live to work and those that work to live
[–] SweenCuisine 9 points 17 hours ago
I am learning this presently, it's harder than it seems

[–] Back2Bach 1270 points 20 hours ago
Lower your high beams when an oncoming vehicle approaches at night.

[–] beeblebr0x 142 points 19 hours ago
Wish the jagoffs in Pittsburgh knew this!

Yinzers are shit drivers who love to drive with their high beams on all the time.
[–] mxmnull 47 points 13 hours ago
unless they won't turn off theirs. THEN BLIND THE SORRY FUCKS.
[–] theshoegazer 35 points 13 hours ago
Also, lower them when you're following closely behind someone too.
That means you, all the SUV's with CT and NJ plates who flood Vermont every ski
weekend.
[–] khamulete 286 points 18 hours ago
Listen to the version of the story from all parties when being involved in a discussion before
making judgments.
[–] SomeComediansQuote 104 points 13 hours ago
Make all the judgements you want. Just be ready to seriously rethink them as soon as
new information is presented to you.
'Never bend the facts to fit the judgement, change the judgement to fit the facts' is my
general rule
[–] appleberryblast 820 points 17 hours ago
Never litter. I dont care if no one is around, trash and recyclables go in their place, not in
public space or on the ground.
[–] SpeaksToWeasels 95 points 12 hours ago
Always recycle aluminium! It is one of the most recyclable materials we have.

I'd carry an empty soda can though a desert to throw it in a recycling bin.
[–] Torcal4 106 points 12 hours ago
I just don’t get the mentality to litter in the first place. Let me just throw my garbage on
the floor. That’s fine.
[–] somedude456 30 points 10 hours ago
Especially in a National Park. Like, you came here because it's known to be
beautiful...and you're going to fuck it up? I always carry an extra "grocery" bag and
pick up empty candy wrappers, bottle caps, etc.
[–] kizzyjenks 88 points 12 hours ago
I wasn't even consciously aware how seriously I follow this rule until I read this and
thought about it for a few moments. I can't even imagine the mentality of someone who
thinks it's okay to drop rubbish on the ground.
[–] Spartandonovan100 360 points 16 hours ago
If your wife says she doesn’t need a snack and your at the store buy her a snack or she will
want yours.
[–] blayzeKING 110 points 11 hours ago
Worst thing that happens is now you have two snacks

[–] DarthRen87 34 points 11 hours ago
I've started doing this the last few months. Not because she will eat mine, but because
she hates flowers and I want her to know I'm thinking of her.
Doesn't matter what I buying I'll grab her a chocolate bar or skittles. She had a grocery
bag stash of them after not too long.
[–] starrorange 663 points 19 hours ago
Seatbelt on
[–] _EJPC_ 351 points 20 hours ago
Always say goodnight to someone in your house even after you’ve had a fight or aren’t on
speaking terms.
[–] redneff 354 points 20 hours ago
"Goodnight love!"
"FUCK OFF JOHN"
[–] _EJPC_ 59 points 20 hours ago
Precisely
[–] Alpinestarhero 9 points 7 hours ago*
My wife and I always make a point of saying "I love you" as the last thing we say to
each other before leaving each other for work etc or before going to sleep. This is
slightly odd when we're having a fight and we lay in bed facing away from each other
and we sort of angrily say "I love you." But I do love her and she does love me and just
because we're bickering it doesnt mean I dont love her any more. The best
demonstration of how much we care was this one evenign when we were both hot,
tired, and she had gotten home from work very late due to transport issues. We were
arguing and sot of taking it out on each other and being a bit snipey.
Then my dad rings.
he tells me it's time to come and say my goodbyes to my nan, she was dying.
My wife and I instantly made up without really discussing making up, it was just done
and the argument was forgotten. We quickly ate our dinner, then got our shit together
to make the 2 hour ride to where my family was.
[–] redneff 1171 points 20 hours ago
Cheating is completely off the cards. If you want multiple partners cut it off with your
current one. No excuse.
[–] Hcysntmf 242 points 16 hours ago
Not gunna lie I learnt this by being a piece of shit for a few years. Now I know if I
genuinely get the temptation to cheat then whatever I currently have is over. You live
and you learn I guess.
[–] ResidentInsurance 30 points 10 hours ago
I've always wondered, and now I actually see a person I can ask this: how does a
person even cheat? How do you maintain 2 relationships when it's already taking so
much to maintain just one?
[–] RalphWiggum08 36 points 9 hours ago
Some relationships are a lot of work, some are really easy. And cheating in a
long distance relationship is quite easy (and a dick move, of course).
Also, cheating is not always having two relationships. Sometimes it's "I fucked
that person after a night of partying and then went home to never see that
person again".
[–] Jkiller21 1588 points 21 hours ago
Always respect someone until they give you a reason not to.
[–] Sir_battmaker 201 points 20 hours ago*
I’ve always tried to live life like this and it makes so much difference. When you show
someone respect, more often that not they show it back, and it creates much better
interactions and relationships, and makes my day and their day better. Highly
recommend this to everyone.
[–] Redhawkfour4 66 points 17 hours ago
Just want to inject something in here real quick, I think that the definition disliking
and disrespect have been blurred over the years.
[–] HChimpdenEarwicker 164 points 17 hours ago
Yeah, the whole "respect has to be earned" thing is bullshit. It costs you nothing to be a
decent person.
[–] hectorgrey123 99 points 16 hours ago
I think this comes from the idea that a person can be respected as a human being,
or as an authority, and we use the same word for both. Respect as a human being is
what I default to; respect as an authority has to be earned.
[–] Aggraphine 37 points 13 hours ago
This can go further still, into “if you won’t respect me, I won’t respect you”, but
is often said by an authority figure and essentially comes out as “if you won’t
treat me like an authority figure, I won’t treat you as a person”
And yes this is taken from something else, I’ll dig it up in the morning.
[–] PhysicalCoconut 124 points 17 hours ago
From u/Azathoth_Junior: Respect isn't earned it's lost. I respect everyone unless they've
already proven unworthy of respect.
[–] noimthedudeman 213 points 17 hours ago
Only break one law at a time.

[–] Kagaro 14 points 10 hours ago
One crime at a time

[–] WildThingsKing 438 points 20 hours ago
You can't control what other people say or do, you can only control how you react to them.
[–] MimeticSemiotic 363 points 20 hours ago
Brush my teeth.
No one fucks with dental health.
[–] dookycandy 187 points 19 hours ago
Fun trivia! You only need a pea-sized bead of toothpaste on your brush.
Advertisers show covering the brush, to increase consumption.
[–] miuaiga_infinite 48 points 14 hours ago
Adam Conover?
[–] Cheeseman1478 10 points 11 hours ago
I liked his videos until everything in his videos went political, even if I agree with
a lot of it it’s annoying
[–] iamhumannothingmore 169 points 20 hours ago
Don't be pity friends with someone. Then they'll expect a relationship and hate you for
being kind.
[–] J_M_Black 63 points 9 hours ago
Being someone's "friend" because you pity them is not a nice thing to begin with.
[–] pinkdollydaydream 32 points 6 hours ago
Don't befriend the loner that everyone else hates. I used to do this and more than once
was disappointed to find out that the loner was a loner for a good reason, they ended up
being really spightful and would put me down and think they were better than me.
Sometimes people who hate themselves will hate you for being kind to them
[–] BlanketCop 81 points 18 hours ago
Cherish the people who love you

[–] DisturbedNocturne 30 points 14 hours ago
Mine's along the same lines: Make sure the people you cherish know you do. I went a
long time through my life never telling the people I loved what I thought about them,
and I really regretted it once they were no longer in my life - especially given the times
where someone didn't know how much I cared and that likely contributed to them
leaving. Now, I really try to let the people I care about know how grateful I am that
they're in my life.
[–] Kashi292 83 points 17 hours ago
Always ask permission before you give away someones phone number, even if the two
people have already met.
[–] Zoidberg1028 147 points 16 hours ago
Praise in public, punish in private. Do the opposite and you will lose respect.
[–] Zen_Drifter 258 points 20 hours ago*
Never ever say anything that might imply that you think the woman you're talking to might
be pregnant, unless you can actually see a baby coming out of her at that moment.
EDIT: IIRC this is a quote from John Cleese Dave Barry

[–] PuddleOfHamster 304 points 16 hours ago
I was going to say this.

Related story: awhile back, when I was eight months pregnant, I toddled up to the
counter at the fabric store with some fabric to make a baby quilt for my also-pregnant
sister.
The cashier said "Whatcha making?" and I said "A baby quilt." "Awww, when are you
due?" she asked... and without thinking I replied "Oh, it's not for me."
I have never seen such a look of horror, terror and guilt on the face of another human
being. Eventually I managed to interrupt her apologies long enough to assure her that I
was, indeed, pregnant, even though the quilt was for a gift...
[–] Yorune 83 points 14 hours ago
That story is amazing, and now I know exactly why the above rule is so important.
[–] YouThinkHeSaurus 109 points 17 hours ago
When's that BABY due? "What baby?"

Uhhh...at the zoo, the pandas. I knew they were havin' one just thought maybe we
could talk about it if you want. Talk about the fluffy zoo animals. That they... I hear they
got them over there I guess we could talk about or go pet them if you want.
[–] rgoose83 138 points 16 hours ago
Please say "please and thank you". Thank you.

[–] thepush 129 points 16 hours ago
Seat belts before the car moves. Everyone, every time, I don't care.
I've been upside down in midair in a Ford Focus. I'd 100% have been dead without my seat
belt.
[–] le_petite_melt 61 points 17 hours ago
I try not to judge a person based solely on what other people tell me about them.
[–] madetosink 161 points 21 hours ago
Never trust a fart.

[–] dookycandy 32 points 20 hours ago
... For it can become a shart.

[–] X1project 52 points 20 hours ago
There are certain things that you should always have before you need, insurance, a plunger,
a baseline concussion test
[–] honeycomehome 273 points 19 hours ago
Always go to the funeral.

[–] TedWords 133 points 14 hours ago
I was the only sibling to attend my great grandfather’s funeral. He’s one of my role
models. He always did whatever he could to make sure his family was taken care of.
One of his daughters had Down syndrome and he helped take care of her until he
couldn’t physically do it anymore. He had a very strong handshake, and the will to do
anything he set his mind to. Now his wife is in a nursing home suffering from
Alzheimer’s. I can’t bring myself to visit her because I can’t bear to see her in that
state, and she won’t know who I am. I will still go to her funeral no matter what. People
forget things before they pass from old age, but knowing them beforehand is what
matters.
[–] MURRAUD 16 points 12 hours ago
One of my only regrets is not attending the funeral of a loved one. He passed away
suddenly and I was in shock. I didn’t think I’d be able to face his family and his 9 year
old daughter. Not going just extended my grieving process and left me in denial.
Learned my lesson.
Always go to the funeral.
[–] 0xD153A53 85 points 19 hours ago
"If you ever have to kill somebody, never, ever, tell a living soul."
[–] TedWords 47 points 13 hours ago
*never, ever, say it out loud or write it anywhere.

[–] HanzoShotFirst 12 points 12 hours ago
And make sure you take care of any witnesses

[–] SmoreOfBabylon 84 points 16 hours ago
Be extra kind and considerate towards retail workers this time of year.
I work in retail and I know that every other retail worker gets the same exact asshole
customers that are the bane of my existence. But every once in a while, I'll get a super nice
customer and it will improve my day considerably.
[–] Sammelquest 43 points 20 hours ago
Always be nice to people and make good impressions, you never know when that might
come in handy
[–] iDoNotComprehendThis 29 points 16 hours ago
Totally bagged my first job as a teen like this. My friends had a couple guys over to look
at his car while I was hanging out, he went inside to grab them a few bucks for their
trouble and I was just bullshitting with them for a bit.
At some point I casually mentioned I was really starting to look for a job but having no
luck as an unemployed teen yet, turns out the guy was my friends boss and he liked the
cut of my jib.
Gave me a job on the spot, went in the next day and got started.
[–] LaiqTheMaia 484 points 20 hours ago
Cereal first, then milk.

[–] loneSTAR_06 29 points 16 hours ago
You know what? My kids do this weird ass shit. Not only that, but they DON’T DRINK
THE FUCKING MILK after they’re done.
Idk where we went wrong...
[–] smooresbox 59 points 19 hours ago
I still think about the scene in get out when she dips her Froot Loops. Like wtf was that.
[–] NotMyHersheyBar 74 points 14 hours ago
when a toddler hands you a hollow plastic phone, you hold it to your ear and answer it.
[–] shithawq 37 points 16 hours ago
Measure twice; cut once.

[–] Rainbowtrout11 102 points 19 hours ago
If somebody is suffering through no fault of their own, help them as much as you can.
[–] Drago1214 163 points 20 hours ago
Always be nice to people even when they are rude to you. It’s hard sometimes but it makes
me feel good about myself.
[–] Ruminacholy 61 points 15 hours ago
I love seeing the dumbfounded expression on someone's face when I smile or tell them
to have a good day after they insult me. It makes me feel really pure, if that makes
sense.
[–] Drago1214 27 points 15 hours ago*
Oh yah it’s the best deep down they know they are the ass hate.
Edit: thanks for the silver
[–] arctic1117 30 points 18 hours ago
Dont eat people

[–] fortyandablunt666 88 points 18 hours ago
Never steal, do drugs or drink on company time/property.

Not worth it. Just wait a few hours.
[–] Moleman-NineThousand 62 points 17 hours ago
All wrongdoing should be initially met with corrective, not punishing, measures. Hard
punishment is for when someone has been expressly given every opportunity to correct
what they are doing wrong and actively refuses to.
[–] Okfineyoucaughtme 305 points 18 hours ago
"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what,
no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've
been, ever, for any reason whatsoever."
[–] Ironman9518 84 points 17 hours ago
What say we order some pasta?

[–] KnopeProtocol 41 points 15 hours ago
What say we do
[–] SkiingSpaceman 81 points 17 hours ago
Whenever confronted with any issue, I ask myself “Is this currently my problem?” No? Then
I move to question 2 “If I do not do this, will it become my problem in the future.
If both answers are no, then I’m not doing it.
[–] Alexander-H 257 points 19 hours ago
I live in the United States. I will always come to a complete stop before turning right at a
red light, and, if I am honked at for doing this, I will wait until the light turns green.
[–] Deruug 72 points 18 hours ago
I got a ticket from a camera not doing this at the beginning of the year so I understand
people who make a clear and complete stop.
[–] Bunilla_Ice 59 points 16 hours ago
That is the perfect amount of pettiness. Even better, it's justified.

[–] adjustable_beard 95 points 20 hours ago
Don't talk about fight club

[–] backcountrybrian 40 points 15 hours ago
I see a lot of new faces. Which means that some of you are breaking the first two rules.
[–] GnomeChompske 26 points 20 hours ago
I look both ways before crossing every street.

[–] SydneyCrawford 27 points 13 hours ago
When grandma calls, I answer the phone. I don’t care where I am, who I’m with, or what
time it is.if for some unholy reason I CANNOT answer (which doesn’t happen very often) I’ll
either answer anyways and quickly say “Can I call you back” (if she says no then I’ll drop
whatever I’m doing. But grandma would never say no if it wasn’t actually 400% important)
or I will send her to voicemail, read it once it shows up, and then call her back the very
second I can.
Edit: that being said, like 90% of my non grandma phone calls are sent straight to
voicemail. I don’t have time to be talking on the phone with people who are not my
grandma.
[–] MagicalMonarchOfMo 53 points 17 hours ago
Always, always, assume the gun is loaded.

Too many people have learned this one the hard way.
[–] Rupispupis 141 points 20 hours ago
If you want to have something you've never had before, do something you've never done
before.
[–] wasit-worthit 51 points 16 hours ago
This is way too vague and open for interpretation.
[–] jackdaw_t_robot 54 points 15 hours ago
If you can’t stand me at my wanting something I’ve never had before, you don’t
deserve me at my doing something I’ve never done before.
[–] PM_ME_UR_TURBO 107 points 20 hours ago
Don’t ever mess with a married woman/man.

Actually do it, then it’ll become your rule as well.
[–] tinkervise 197 points 20 hours ago
Never pass a lemonade stand and not buy something. It’s hard enough to find young people
with a work ethic. Ignoring those with one sets a bad tone at a young age.
[–] Arvalic 41 points 10 hours ago
I once passed a cupcake stand where w girls were selling 5$ small cupcakes. They
learned a lesson about pricing your good accordingly that day when I drove off
[–] darklurkerr 34 points 17 hours ago
aw i love this
[–] tinkervise 28 points 17 hours ago
Thank you. I even taught my kids this, so it’s become their thing to point out any
stands they might see too.
[–] nomad_ors 10 points 11 hours ago
I'll pay them if they want to mow my lawn, rake leaves, or dogsit. And I'll pay them
well, but I don't see the point in rewarding them for something I don't want.
[–] Flame-Expression 143 points 20 hours ago
Don't drink and drive. There's no excuse, if you drive while under the influence you're a
piece of shit and your license should be permanently revoked.
[–] justaspacecowboy 35 points 16 hours ago
Came here to say this. It's not just about you, it's about everyone else on the road.
[–] halfarab 56 points 20 hours ago
Always keep your health, mental and physical, and ultimate happiness as your highest
priority. If you're doing something that truly makes you miserable, leave as soon as you
can.
[–] TJTickletits 97 points 20 hours ago
Never take the urinal next to someone unless it's an absolute emergency.
But, how else are you supposed to make new friends?

[–] Mattdog625 11 points 13 hours ago
Sword fight
[–] urbanhippychic 18 points 19 hours ago
Always buckle up!

[–] itsbeckyno 17 points 16 hours ago
I cannot hold other people to the same standard I hold myself.

[–] jamesh31 53 points 20 hours ago
Always wipe front to back

[+] [deleted] 20 hours ago (5 children)
[–] sadisticmasochist2 61 points 20 hours ago
Don’t be a dick
[–] Moleman-NineThousand 15 points 17 hours ago
Assume good faith and common sense of others until they explicitly demonstrate otherwise.
[–] Star_man77 17 points 16 hours ago
I never change my answers in a multiple choice test.

[–] Ilookouttrainwindow 30 points 19 hours ago
Don't look at ur phone when crossing the street you dumb idiot.
[–] LargeSnorlax 267 points 20 hours ago*
Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances date, fool around, or hook up with anyone from
work.
Never.
For any reason.
I get it Reddit, your mother's dog met your father's dog at work, no one cares.
[–] AlreadyShrugging 80 points 17 hours ago
Meh. We hear about all the disasters that happen and its a tired topic on here, but I
surmise that might be so only because the disasters are the only cases that anyone
notices.
The people who date/fool around with coworkers in a non-disastrous manner keep that
shit to themselves and it doesn't come out in the workplace.
[–] alicecarroll 109 points 19 hours ago
I did and we have been together 18 years married for 12!

[–] WaffleHouseNeedsWiFi 42 points 18 hours ago
I married my editor-in-chief. I was her features-section editor and we REALLY hit it

off. Talk about dipping into company ink.
[–] keleles 16 points 17 hours ago

I dated my district manager's daughter for a while. He was also the man who hired me.
Fortunately he liked me a lot and was really supportive of the relationship. When it
ended, our relationship never changed as her and I decided to split mutually, because
neither of us were in a point of time where we could focus on a SO.
UNLESS
You know you're about to be fired anyways, and the cute redhead invites you over to
have a threesome with her roommate (F). THEN, you fool around with that coworker!
[–] premeditatedlasagna 46 points 20 hours ago
I never really got this one. As long as the other person is reasonable and you're not an
asshole there should be no problem. I've dated and hooked up with a number of people
I've worked with over the years and it was never an issue. It was never even awkward.
Well, except the time that my ex told me the next guy she hooked up with had a small
penis. Honestly though it was always just business as usual afterwards. Who do you
people fool around with?
[–] BillyBrehh 12 points 19 hours ago
Make sure I got myself covered Whenever doing something I’ll make sure in a worst case
scenario I’ll be at least fine I’m not selfish I look out for other people too but I can’t help if I
need help
[–] libraintjravenclaw 11 points 14 hours ago
Never show up empty handed.

[–] Toasts_like_smell 67 points 19 hours ago
If provided an ultimatum, i always choose the response that will most upset the deliverer of
said ultimatum.
[–] iDoNotComprehendThis 42 points 16 hours ago
Same.
Trying to manipulate me to your will? Jokes on you, all you’ve done is given me precise
instructions on how to really piss you off instantly.
[–] aGuyNamedFish 20 points 12 hours ago
My wife: It’s either me or the meth, Fish

Me: Fuck off with your ultimatums
[–] soupman66 30 points 20 hours ago
Don't kill innocent people.

But really: say thank you to everyone even if you aren't thankful.
[–] socialldangerr 20 points 19 hours ago
No matter what..... I will never ever cheat on my exams

[–] jimmyk22 48 points 21 hours ago
The Golden Rule. It’s the only rule everyone knows by name
[–] naughtymuffins 83 points 19 hours ago
It's not gay if it's in a 3-way?

[–] KantReasonWithYou 36 points 16 hours ago
True! even if it's you and 2 other guys

[–] jblackstarr 14 points 16 hours ago
As long as you don't make eye contact it's not gay

[–] nitewake 12 points 15 hours ago
Ah, yes. He who has the gold makes the rules.

[–] TeaForAlbion 10 points 20 hours ago
My boy comes first.

[–] Unitedmisanthropes 11 points 17 hours ago
Never date with in a friend group, I've loss many Friends over nasty break ups
[–] Acyrix 19 points 16 hours ago
Don’t fuck your sister

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12/13/2018 What’s the one rule you’ll always follow no matter what?

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The only person you have to live with forever is

I had not. Thank you for sharing. I just went

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4 result in a ban without a prior warning.

My dad has drilled this into my head since I was

[–] An_Uninvited_Dog 138 points 15 hours ago

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[–] 1075701 113 points 14 hours ago

If anything, you make things worse

And don’t forget your towel.

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[–] MaxHannibal 25 points 12 hours ago Find a subreddit Learn something

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[–] BatScribeofDoom 79 points 16 hours ago

[–] Thegreatherakles 81 points 16 hours ago

No he was an EMT for most of my childhood MODERATORS MESSAGE THE MODERATORS

with certs in swift water rescue, rope rescue

[–] Thegreatherakles 19 points 16 hours ago

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[–] neoplatonistGTAW 33 points 15 hours ago

The Full-Bore Linear-Panic is a very effective means of escape from a dangerous

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[–] EUW_Ceratius 31 points 15 hours ago

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[–] Jauncin 1133 points 18 hours ago*

Thank those doing what are considered menial jobs.

[–] onehitwondur 128 points 14 hours ago

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[–] luckycharmz13 1940 points 20 hours ago

[–] jburd88_ 652 points 20 hours ago

And always jerk one out before making an important choice.

[–] Virus64 123 points 17 hours ago

What if my choice is to have sex, or jerk off alone?

[–] AudioPuppit 151 points 16 hours ago

Still jerk off either way.

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[–] viggowl 217 points 20 hours ago

It scares me how important this is.

[–] The_Lost_Google_User 74 points 13 hours ago

[–] Adeloastro 25 points 11 hours ago

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[–] jpterodactyl [ ] 2341 points 20 hours ago

I will always use my turn signal.

[–] sabbacabbage 597 points 17 hours ago

[–] Ididitforthelulz22 200 points 14 hours ago

[–] TurtleWaffles 81 points 12 hours ago

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