Cabrera 1

Salvador Cabrera

Professor Holly

English 28

11 December 2018

Argumentative Analysis Reflection

After much reflection on the feedback I received on how I can better my essay I took the

time to address the things that were told to me. For instance I was told by both my english

teacher and my english tutor to merge my first two paragraphs to create one solid introduction,

and to provide more background information on my topic. I rewrote my introduction

paraphrasing what I had wrote in the first two paragraphs of my intro to creat a solid Introduction

to my essay. I employed a move used by the writing center to write thesis statements “Although

….. Counter (argument), …..(topic or issue).... Should …… (action to be taken).... Because….

(first reason)..., …..(second reason)..., …… (third reason. This is the move I added to introduce

my main points of my essay. Also I introduced a whole new body paragraph to my essay to

provide the counter argument to my essay. This was for the purpose of giving my essay more

credibility. This also allowed me to include more quotes into my essay. Speaking of witch I also

addressed the in text citations and included them based n the feedback.Then I changed one two

of my supporting Maine points. The original fist body point was about identity but instead I

Replaced it with a paragraph about the educational benefits to being multilingual. This was done

because i felt i had more supporting evidence to develop this pont over the original. The main

point for the third body paragraph was kept but I developed it in a different way removing

sentences and replacing them with others to be able to include a quote.

 Cabrera 2

Also I changed the name from native language to heritage language because it sounded better.

Over all I focused on the feedback I received from others to refine my essay it flows a lot more

better and I Was able to include more outside sources along with the counter argument that was

ask of me to develop more. This essay feels to be something new, but instead it is a culmination

of much revising. Also I had to do all the tedious work of selecting better words that made my

point clear throughout my essay. This is more or less smaller revisions that where done. This

essay had the most revisions of any of my works in the past but i'm thankful for it and that it's

finally finished.