BEDBUG PRESS MCMXC

THE DARK
ROMANCE
LYRICS & SONGS OF A SHADOW

Maxwell Darray
th
[July 25 , 2013]

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But really, who would do that? I mean I’m giving this to you, the reader,
completely from my own hands. I am the publisher, editor, writer. Truth
be known, I actually I just wrote that in to make it look more professional;
give it to as many people as possible.

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THE DARK ROMANCE 5
I . THE EVENING EPISODE 5
II. HOW LIGHT RUNS 6
III. BLACK VOID 7
IV. ELATION OF STORMS 8
V. THE NIGHT I CALL MY HOME 10
VI. EYES CLOSED & ALONE 11
VII. SHADOW OF MINE 12
VIII. THIS SIDE OF THE SILHOUETTE 14
IX. THE DARK ROMANCE 15
A FAMILIAR STRANGER 16

SLEEPING WITH THAT ONE 18

ARROWS 19

CURTAIN EYES 20

MAY I SLEEP TONIGHT 21

CONCUSSION 22

HOW IT ENDS 23

FOR YOU 25

RETURN 26

RECEPTION 27

COMPLETE 28

CUTTHROAT 30

RETRIEVE 31

STOP THE CLOCK 32

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4
THE DARK ROMANCE

I . THE EVENING EPISODE

I have lost my heart, in the endless dark.

I will be fine, I will be okay, because I prefer it this way.

The dark is mine.
Two sides toss and turn, from the ache.
Remind me how when we were kids,
and never caught a break.
I've never tortured,
staring up at walls of brick,
how I am is who I am,
and I won't stop or quit.
The winding path is the one I took, with no regret,
I won't look back. Keep your light, the dark is mine.

the dark is mine

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II. HOW LIGHT RUNS

If I can’t understand myself,

how can I bond with any other person?
Let me learn how to survive, how to fight this.
I don’t want to go on with this void in my head.
The circles and cycles of collapse.
I’ll fix myself. I have resolve.
I watch how light runs down your face,
don’t let it escape. Stay bright.
hold as much sun as you can
Please, oh please, wait for me.
I’ll get better, I won’t let you go.

6
III. BLACK VOID

If you ever wanted to hear the sound of loss:

Listen to a clock.
Most people wear a watch to know of the time
I wear one to remind me that it won’t stop.
When the ink and paper meet as one
I soon become, redone.
Time comes back, with hands that strangle
and a face to fear.
Man's misfortune, cupped in my hand
The mausoleum of all hope and desire
Please forget to waste your breath trying to conquer it.
The cogs and gears, are sounds of fury.

When I die, it means clocks have given up on me.

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IV. ELATION OF STORMS

The natural world is dull, decaying, and mysterious;

its revelations are evil and hellish.

You are failing in your attempt to make changes.
Chaos devours the intent, lost in the feast,
showing that we were always the beast.
Control the urge, resist the cruelty,
make this life a trophy of novelty.
The fangs won’t rust
it cannot shade,
giving the impression of a sullen fate.
The man, the animal, it all is one.
To make us human,

we have to correct the wrongs that have been done.

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9
V. THE NIGHT I CALL MY HOME

Life ends; death is forever.

Life comes with death.

Death does not come with life.

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VI. EYES CLOSED & ALONE

I do not belong on this planet; I have settled myself into a niche of

condemned content. I cannot escape the horrors of everyday: feeling poor in
society driven by money, a culture that is obsessed with its affluence of
stardom, a social downview of people akin to visual and audible aesthetics; a
world that is futile. If I could make a grand clarification of what and where
I’m bound for, I’ll stay. But, I’m able to take any uncertain path, in which, is
the problem. There is nothing left for me: All I do with my life is try to
figure it out. Why figure it out? Don’t we all end in death? Why prolong
the aching? Why suffer through the turmoil of struggle when we will be
forgotten? Why prove how strong we are when there is nothing to prove?
Birth. Decay. Death. That’s the cycle of life...but, I'm too stubborn. So now
I rot passionately by my own design. In the end, choosing to live means a
stagnant suicide.

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VII. SHADOW OF MINE

I’m not haunted by demons;

I’m haunted by how they were created.
The echo that barks, the loop that sinks,
I promise myself not to speak.

It'll go away, it will fade.

The screen of my eyes won't stop the scene.

It will replay, but soon fade.

A bad memory is only a coded lesson.
Take it in.
the shadow of mine is still mine, the light and the dark.
Don't let it cease, don't let it drift away.

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VIII. THIS SIDE OF THE SILHOUETTE

I'll always be here for you.

Tragedy cups you coldly

A found memory of how time changes everything
What’s good is now bad
what’s bad is now lost
Avoid the glare from the pestering Gods
a sign to know when to run before you can walk.
Quicken the pace
ruiner of natural themes
to let yourself be able to breathe.

You can get upset. You can get what you want
Take charge of the stampede, known as life
and it soon fulfills what you need.

Be angry. Be mad.
Be the violence that the world has and give it right back.

You're not dead, don’t embrace it.

Find refuge in this side of the silhouette.

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IX. THE DARK ROMANCE

I have lost my heart, in the endless dark.

I'm left with nothing, but my sanity.
With the strange way I have taken,
a part of me will stay clear of crowd.
I do this for myself, I do this to myself.
Don't worry about me, I'm home.
There is no escaping the dark, the romance.
The warped ideas that plague my mind have caused a fault in my deserted
ways of how it can be right.

But it won't be, it never will.

I can't change the world,

but I can shape mine.
I can't change the world,
but I have to try.
Pour it out, every breath,
till the end, tears and sweat.
This love and despair won't disappear,

I know where I stand, I know where I am.

My affection cannot be altered,
it will continue on loving the end.

I have lost my heart, in the endless dark.

I'm left with nothing, but my sanity.

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A FAMILIAR STRANGER

Dormant, my desire and my sleep soon invades

What beckons forth, a call that shall alarm,
Awake?
Slumber has never seemed too sweet
as when I close my eyes and yours open.
Distant, but apparent
A feeling of numbness harkens,
constricting my nerves,
I wish I could, I wish I shall
Hold you till the worlds fall down.

So tender is the bashing of my skull,

your memory bruising and curing me
till the back of bones are full.
Sideswiped, tackled down, the world breaks by but only
a whisper of your sound.
Let me regain my rhythm
a process vanquished when you
shake your eyes my direction.
I notice. You notice.

Cast aside all familiar strangers:

your face appears again and again and again,
a spirit of decided judgment
pure, sincere, honest,
I have to reknow the ghost.
You entered my thoughts;
and now, it's where you will always stay.

You're new, but your presence is not

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SLEEPING WITH THAT ONE

Thoughts race from ear to ear, and back again

With the hours we spend sleeping
I don't know if I want to be awake
Let the dark keep us up, staring at my empty room
Your lights strung along the window
a cool breeze from your side
lets me know I have nowhere else to hide

Day evaporates, night cooperates

That dainty smell on my sheets, that bold taste on yours

We say one more minute, but want an hour more
I fold, I shrink, in your arms. I'll hold you close
if you promise to hold tighter
Make it hurt, make me feel something
I write about you, you sing about me
And the two together bond cohesively
As I thought we'd always be.

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ARROWS

I can't find the things to say,

so I'll write them instead.
Sounds last longer when traced in pen.
I want to shake you, with praise and prose.
Have my thoughts be the bow,
and my words be the arrow.
The archer aims for the heart,
a game of love to never miss,
to hit his mark.
All along, I thought we
were meant to be.
But it's a rouse to
that kid with wings.
Play once more, all or nothing.
We need a second chance.
Russian roulette to know we if can ever last.

Tender touch for a rough terrain,

where did we stray?
Why did it come to this?
We kept it together, better than any of our
friends.
I'm sorry if he misses, I'll keep you close
anyway.
Please believe, that there's a choice for you to go,
or for me to stay.

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CURTAIN EYES

Lost in the color, I don't function as well as I used to.

Speed up the process and ruin my life.
Snap my neck, detach my head, and swallow me whole.
Red in my eyes, blue in the lungs.
The artist has no art, it's only shapes and shades.

20
MAY I SLEEP TONIGHT

What if I died tonight.

The monsters creeping as the moon shines
The creatures awake as I shut my eyes
but the ghost persists
I can hear her calling out for me
Do I abide?
Do I follow?
I'm trapped in this bed
with this growing sickness
spreading to my head;
Cut too thin, the covers provide no shelter
I remember this all too well
What if I died tonight.
Invisible, but, present;
Like the wind I can feel him
picking at my nerves
I know
it's there, it can't be here
All I can do is close my eyes
but I wish I could shut my ears

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CONCUSSION

You've kept me drowning

I won't gasp for too long.
The struggle ends,
when this scene dims.
Take to the tender mind
till the torture won't subside.
Take to the lovely absence.
Proceed to lie and steal.
I hate you all, I hate, everything.
Nothing matters, when you're dead.
Watch as the clocks countdown,
nothing can stop it,
nothing to pause it.
It goes, and goes.

I could be cured,
I wish I was spared,
from this dangerous fear.
Let it pass, let it all fall.
The now cripples the mind
from thinking ahead.
Give me my concussion,
I'll die from that instead.

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HOW IT ENDS

Everything ends
once it breaks it can never
be whole or complete again.
Just like it was when I told you
"It will always stay the same"
but it never did. the words painted
a spectrum of hollow pathways
that will allow you to
believe you'll be okay
once you start, it ends
the instant your eyes
doubt the mind is how it begins

this is how it ends,

with solemn goodbye
this is how I know
that you weren't truthful
enjoy the ride, waiver and shake
the genesis caves away
at the blisters and aches

start
continue, end.
start
go on, stop.
by the watchers in the sky, I cannot standby,
as I let my line of sight view the power of my demise.

it never happens. it was all so sudden.

watch it be created then shutout

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FOR YOU

In honor of you, I let myself go.

Cutting the thread of the knot and noose.
Bury me under the weight of thought,
I deserve to be not on your mind.
Give me a sign of these turbulent times.
It was for the best, to wave goodbye.
I will miss you, I hope you do the same.
Let's be civil, and try to remain sane.
When it all fell apart I needed to stand on my own.
Stand back, step aside, and move on.
I drove you into a room of madness
I dragged myself to along the way.

Don't shed a tear, you've cried enough,

It's time for me to feel the pain.
Scars and scares ponder back and forth.
There is no way to pause.
It all comes too fast to see,
You cannot leave time's jaws.
Don't say a word, I know this hurts.
Just try to think of what it's worth.

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RETURN

Capture my eyes, they crave your stare.

Pile on the guilt, let it snap my neck.
I shouldn't have been this way.
Return alive and everything will be fine.
It will be okay.
Up in flames and down in water,
Hold out your lungs for the best.
Crossed fingers on a crossed silver
I can only pray, I can only hope.
I need your attention, I need your pity.

Give back what I have felt, for far too long.

(I hope you return it all)
Do you feel all eyes on you.
(When you walk into a room)
Stand and deliver.

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RECEPTION

Follow the path to

return you back to sanity.
A place not forgotten but
the journey was.
Capture my sense of despair,
I know you can taste it.
You brought this on yourself,
she meant a one good time.
Look at what you've done.
There's no turning back now.
Face the shroud and drown out the sound.

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COMPLETE

Take a look at me, what do you see

Our love is not gone
and the fury continues on
Like a bad dream I wake to your sappy eyes
telling me it'll be alright but I know better
I know you will not vanish
Testify or convince me otherwise that this will get better
Hold me tight and don't let go
I miss your earth and comfort
When you walked away my heart went with you

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CUTTHROAT

My how the times have changed,

the seconds tick away my mechanical ways,
Routine becomes tradition,
and no one breaks the spirit,
Modern times have an end to creation,
a lack of sparks to start the fire,
Bring me back down,
I just don't want to convert my life,
it happens every year and every time,
We have all lost our minds

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RETRIEVE

Talk slower,
my mind can't comprehend
the sounds your shouting.
Swallow your panic.
Take down the worry from your
face and shake out the fright.
The words you stutter cut
my ears, slice my attention into pieces.

I cannot stop the racing of thoughts.

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STOP THE CLOCK

In the midst of your appearance,

I became comfortably confused;
The spark in your eyes ignited
the desire to solve your mystery;
It was right, it was wrong.
Please stop the clock, I want to turn back now;
In over my head I became a broken person,
My pages torn, you read them sweetly,
Turn for more! Discover me like the glares I bore;
Confessions made, tears be shed,
the beginning soon became an end;
I want the clocks to lose color,
only give me night and day;
Her with me, like already seems to be,
What's done is done, I cannot go back.
My time, my escape,
starts when she lays her eyes to mine
Smile are seconds, laughs are the hours,
her warmth the days When she's gone all else shall pause;
she is the affect, and the cause.

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