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Northcountry News• PO Box 118 • North Salem, NH 03073 • 603-328-5071
Winter is here! Think frozen Anglea, Christmas Day by PM - Hanaway Theatre, The
ponds with ice skaters. Gustav Holst, African Noel Silver Center for the Arts -
Snow-covered trees. Icicles. by André Thomas, and other Plymouth, NH - Adult
Hot chocolate. What better seasonal selections. We look Admission: $15 - Senior,
“Berman’s Bits”
Berman’s Bits
of the joke making the e-mail snow sled: "Beware: sled and how society wrongs
rounds that ends with the may develop high speed them by saying otherwise.
line: “And that, your honor, under certain snow condi- What was that saying
is how the girl ended up in tions." The first-place cham- about neither rain nor snow
my room. So help me God, pion was found on a bottle of nor dark of night? From
by Dave Berman or my name isn’t William
Jefferson Clinton!”)
drain cleaner. It says: "If you
do not understand, or cannot
Ottawa comes word of about
10 Canadian postal workers
Finally, from the read, all directions, cautions (out of 20,000) who refused
(I thought it would be inter- (garbage in, garbage out). Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and warnings, do not use this to deliver mail in tempera-
esting to change things up a Next, if you are not 18, shades of Buffalo Bill (who’s product." (Personally, I like tures of about 40 below zero.
bit. To show how much you might want to skip this defunct). “Vice President the fourth-place winner the Officials were investigating
things have transformed in next Bit and move on to the Cheney led a "hunting" party best. It was found on a five- and may recommend disci-
society [or haven’t], what next one! You have been to the Rolling Rock Club in inch fishing lure that had plinary measures. (By the
follows is a column from warned! From Reuters: in an Ligonier, Pa., to shoot pheas- three hooks. It said, way, a big tip of the
2004. affidavit earlier this year as ants which had been special- “Harmful if swallowed.” Berman’s Bits keyboard to
part of his divorce actions, ly bred to be killed by the Well, d-uh! all the people who do have to
(January 19, 2004) the President's brother, Neil Club's members and guests. If you have ever been at be out there in extreme con-
Bush, admitted that he had Cheney reportedly bagged an art museum and suddenly ditions to keep things going!
Greetings, and thanks for engaged in sex with several 70 ring neck pheasants plus felt faint or felt a wave of While it is your job, we
joining me for another week! women while on business some captive mallard ducks anxiety or felt overwhelmed appreciate it far more than
Starting us off this week are trips in Asia, but that he did (what a man!), and his party by seeing too much at once you will know! Thanks!)
a few news stories you may not seek them out. No, killed 417 of the approxi- (or maybe even while read- In the ever-tightening race
have missed. First, imagine instead he insisted that they mately 500 pheasants ing my column), there is a for the Democratic nomina-
how you’d feel - a Dallas simply came to his door (we released. A Humane Society name for the affliction. tion, I have been listening
couple couldn’t believe their all should be so lucky). executive deplored the shoot, From a story in the Miami carefully before I decide on
eyes when they opened the Asked his ex-wife's lawyer, suggesting that clay-target Herald, it’s called Stendhal’s which person gets my vote. I
envelope and the number "Mr. Bush, you have to admit shooting would be just as syndrome and has been fol- have even been listening to
read $7,714,510.21. The lot- it's a pretty remarkable thing challenging said: "This was- lowed for about two cen- stories on the so-called
tery payoff? No, it was their for a man just to go to a hotel n't a hunting ground. It was turies. (Just to be sure that “fringe candidates.” At my
water bill! Fortunately, a room door and open it and an open-air abattoir (slaugh- doesn’t happen here, I will age, my hearing isn’t what it
quick investigation revealed have a woman standing there terhouse)." be sure not to include too used to be, so during one
CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK (page4)
the statement was because of and have sex with her." The Ottawa Citizen many Bits at once.) story, a name jumped out at
a computer error – GIGO Responded Bush, "It was reported that a 14-year-old Ya gotta love those moth- me requiring further investi-
girl was singing Christmas ers whose wonderful chil- gation. Turns out it wasn’t
carols at her home in dren are never wrong and what I thought. The name
Cloverdale, B.C., Canada, can do no harm. Said one sounded a lot like Berman
when neighbors called 911 to such mother, “It was a practi- Supreme but was, in fact,
report a woman was scream- cal joke that has been blown Vermin Supreme, which may
ing. Police answered the call, out of proportion.” Hey, still not be far from the truth.
but the girl's mother said no she’s right – I thought the Just thought I’d throw that in
one was screaming. "I know “joke” was a regular laugh so you won’t waste a vote on
my voice is bad and I'm just riot as well! From an AP me this time around. (I’m
assuming she has my genes." story, the “joke” in question thinking Senate or House in
Officers noted in their report involved her junior high a few years.)
that the girl was "Exercising school son and some other In an unrelated Bit, the
her vocal chords" and there boys (I’m chuckling already) folks in Hustisford,
was not "any danger, except taking some wood glue and Wisconsin have something
perhaps to surrounding win- sticking on a mayonnaise to look forward to each year.
"Inspiring Healthy Choices For Life" dows." label and offering it to some For the 39th year, the village
Stupid Pills Dept. The Hmong students (Thai and celebrates the New Year with
Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Vietnamese). What a laugh! the Hustisford Toilet Bowl
Route 25 Hatch Plaza Watch recently held a Wacky The kids who ate the glue Parade (I am surprised the
Warning Label contest. Area required medical treatment, town missed out on the
radio listeners decided on with some still being treated. opportunity to offer the site
Plymouth New Hampshire 03264
603-536-3400 this year’s winners, which I mean, can’t you just picture for a game for the worst col-
follow. The third-place win- the results? By the way, no, it lege football teams – they
ner went to a foot-tall com- wasn’t racially motivated the could call it the Toilet Bowl).
pact disc holder that carried school and police concluded. Anyhow, among the high
KennellOrtho.com
the warning label: “Do not Yeah, you have to love the points of the event were
use as a ladder.” The sec- sense of humor of some of floats (no, not floaters)
including one of Santa
pulling a captured Saddam
Hussein and one of a sled
Congratulations Jessica
ca ~
We remove what
Finally, a definitely unre-
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Smile
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We haul it away.
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www.Bestfares.com want to get away now here Either it’s an electronic
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www.Expedia.com that may seem to good to be But time is ticking, there’s no
www.HotelDiscounts.com true, but they are real. The time to waste. My email is
www.Hotels.com sites are; full of “You better hurry up!”
www.Hotwire.com and “Last chance” deal mail-
www.Orbitz.com www.11thHourVacations.co ings. Popular toys sell fast Rte. 302 (West of Lisbon) • Landaff, NH
www.TravelNow.com m and if I do not act fast, I can (603) 838-2400 • www.curtnrod.com
www.Travelocity.com www.AffordableTravel.org only watch the sadness and
www.LastminuteTravel.com disappointment on my chil- “Your One Stop Home Decor Outlet”
Before you Buy know your www.Laterooms.com dren’s faces. Just like last Over 1400 window treatments, styles, colors and
year when I could not find sizes in stock, plus accessories galore, all displayed
grand total with taxes and www.Site59.com any Hatch Animals either in
processing fees, be certain a store or online at the begin- throughout our six showrooms.
the price has not gone up. If you are traveling by car ning of December. There’s
The initial price on cheap Continued on page B-7 no better way to describe this Hours: Thurs. thru Sun. 10-5 • Closed Mon., Tues. & Weds.
web sites may look good but
Page B-3 • November 30, 2018 • northcountrynewsnh.com |NORTHCOUNTRY NEWS
North Country Happenings...
open to the public: AMC Tuesdays - T.O.P.S. (Take Monday’s beginning January gram. By joining the pro-
Pinkham Notch Visitor off Pounds Sensibly) Weigh 8th: gram residents get free
Center, Route 16, Pinkham in - 5 PM - 5:45 PM; Drawing from Life, 6-8pm access to a large catalog of
Ongoing Events
arren Masonic Hall - break- Notch, NH. For more infor- Meeting - 6 PM at Horse Joseph Patch Library, contemporary best sellers
fast from 7-9 on the first mation contact the AMC at Meadow Senior Center, Warren, NH, 03279 they can download onto
Sunday of each month. Hope (603) 466-2727 or www.out- North Haverhill. Please bring a sketch pad and home computers or personal
to see you there. doors.org. ——————————— your favorite drawing tool! devices at any time day or
——————————— ____________________ Connecticut River Valley If you don’t have one, no night. Interested? Sign up at
The Warren/Wentworth Food For on-going events at Beekeepers Assoc meets worries! Haverhill Library. Our hours
Pantry, serving residents in WREN (Women’s Rural every thirdThursday 7-9 PM Try ours! are 4-7 p.m. Mondays,
Warren, Wentworth and Entrepreneurial Network) of at the Grafton County exten- Info: 603-764-9073 Wednesdays, and Thursdays;
Glencliff, is located behind Bethlehem, please visit sion office building, 3855 _____________________- and 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
the Warren Wentworth www.wrencommunity.org or Dartmouth Collage Hwy, Tuesdays and Saturdays
Ambulance Service building call them at: 603-869-9736. North Haverhill, NH. Holderness Historical
and is open every Friday CRVBA17@gmail.com. Society open on Summer
from 1 p.m. - 3 p.m. For eli- For ongoing schedule at . Saturdays Open 10-12noon The Joseph Patch Library is
gibility information or to Silver Center for the Arts, —————————— ______________________ pleased to announce A
make a donation, stop by or Plymouth, NH, call 603-536- Lots of things going on at Common Ground Forum
ARTS or visit them on the the Newfound Audubon separate Support Groups For meeting 1st Thursday of the
call 764-5265. The pantry web at: Caregivers & Those with
gratefully accepts food or Center. For scheduled events Alzheimer’s/Dementia month at 6:00- 7:15 p.m.
monetary donations as well www..plymouth.edu/silver and information, please go Join us for stimulating con-
——————————— to: www.nhaudubon.org. every Wednesday at 2pm versation and shared ideas
as donations of personal and Friends of the Library have Laconia Congregational
household care items. _______________________ Church Parish Hall on a monthly topic
——————————--- establishing a __ Campton Historical All ideas are welcomed, a
Conversational French group 18 Veteran’s Square moderator will be present to
Nightly Entertainment at the Joseph Patch Library Society Laconia, NH
Indian Head Resort, Lincoln The Old Town Hall in For more information call ensure that everyone will be
745-8000 in Warren. We meet on Campton heard. Joseph Patch Library
Monday mornings, 9-10. Comfort Keepers at 603- is located 20 NH Route 25,
www.indianheadresort.com Join us! All skill levels are Open, Thursdays 9 AM to 4 536-6060
PM Confidential and non- Warren, NH. Call 603 764-
Woodstock Inn, Station & welcome. For questions or 9072 for more info.
CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK (Page 8)
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We have a variety of jobs that match your passion for fun and
outstanding employment perks. Some of the jobs include:
Property Maintenance Supervisor HELP WANTED
Tuning Technician Help Wanted in one-man heated door shop, assembling new
entry, interior doors, custom and D&D. Includes some ware-
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To apply online please visit: www.loonmtn.com/jobs
For an application or to schedule an appointment, see
Equal Opportunity Employer James Hazen, Budget Lumer, 1139 Clark Pond Road,
NOTICE
North Haverhill, NH 03774, 603-787-2517.
Northcountry News
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PAGE A-5!
NORTHCOUNTRY
NEWS
NORTHCOUNTRY NEWS| ncnewsnh@gmail.com • November 30, 2018 • Page B-8
North Country Church Directory
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Page B-9 • November 30, 2018 • northcountrynewsnh.com |NORTHCOUNTRY NEWSJune 1
North Country Business Directory - Support Your Local Businesses....
Appliances & Repair Auto / Truck Care Building - Const. - Drywall
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CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK (Page 14)
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NORTHCOUNTRY NEWS| ncnewsnh@gmail.com • November 30, 2018 • Page B-10
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Building - Const. - Drywall Campgrounds Coins
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Page A-7 • November 30, 2018 • northcountrynewsnh.com |NORTHCOUNTRY NEWS
ney had he lived to see it. Jackson, by way of after all. Then I told him of
The Adventures Jack Ryan dreamed of climb- Newburyport (the other the wonders of the last few
ing all these mountains and home that has helped define days and this entire journey.
Think Local,
he dreamed of being a writer. me for as Plutarch wrote: Then we sat some more and I
of Tom & Atticus Shop Local,
In the end what my father “The city makes the man… held Atticus on my lap and
from page B-1 Eat Local,
pack. And I thought of being had to settle for one of his ”), we made a detour to the same cool earth that now
nine children to do them for Medway, the little town I holds my father’s body held
Support Local!
there on top of New England him. I’m hoping it meant grew up in. There’s not me.
to watch the sunrise, as we
It’s The Right
plan to do one upcoming something to him, hoping it much there these days other
still does if he’s somewhere than a few strip malls, some It’s funny what happens
Thing To Do..
winter morning. looking out over us from overpriced houses, and com- when you first take a step
It’s funny, when we are away wherever he is. muters. And there’s no rea- onto a trail and head into the Northcountry
from home I often think of son for Atticus and me to go woods. You really do have
I thought about my father there other than that’s where no idea where it will ulti-
News
these mountains, but in the throughout our drive down my parents are buried. mately take you. But this
mountains I often think of into Connecticut and while much I do know, it’s not
other things, especially when we were there and could just My mother was gone far too about the mountains. It has
You can place your
we are climbing them. imagine him calling his sis- early for me to remember never been about them. It’s
Full page ad here
And that gets back to my ter, Marijane, in Arizona and much of anything about her. always been about where to ad your support
original point. It’s not really telling her all about it. You I was only seven when she they take you and who they
see, he would have said little died Christmas week. So take you to.
for our Local
about the mountains. It’s of it to me, and would have when I visit the cemetery I Community!
never been about them. exhibited little pride or do it more for my father.
Thinking about these great excitement for me to witness. And there Atticus and I sat
Country/
peaks and the places we’ve For whatever reason he halfway between that perfect
been when writing about would have kept it hidden. bookstore in Madison,
them and the success we’ve But that doesn’t mean it Connecticut and the moun-
Primitive
had, I couldn’t help but think wouldn’t have filled him up tains we now love and call
of someone who would have and lifted him up. home. I read him the pro-
logue to the book. It was
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enjoyed every bit of our jour- So on our way home to first written as a letter to him,
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NORTHCOUNTRY NEWS| ncnewsnh@gmail.com • November 30, 2018 • Page A-8