Deng 1

Wenjia Deng

Marie Webb

Linguistics 12

11th February 2019

My Path To Financial Math

It is the evening of November 29th, two hours before the deadline of the application to

the University of California, I sit in front of a desk and stare at my computer. What shows on the

monitor is a man who is in his late 40s. Wearing a pair of glasses with golden frames and a

bright yellow shirt, he has extremely short hair, and the wrinkles on his forehead, with his big

and sparkling eyes, make him appear to be sort of emotionally unstable. The man that looks like

an anxious potato is my father, and he is talking to me with his deep and raucous voice, “have

you decided your major yet? There are only two hours left before you submit your application by

the deadline.”

“I do not know, it is a tough decision to make,” I answer him while leaning back against

the chair and opening a bottle of water. Although I know that people can freely change their

majors after getting into college, I still think picking a major on the application requires much

deliberation because it is like a promise that I make to myself, and it will somehow affect my life

in college. Currently, I am choosing between the financial math and a science subject. I am sure

that I love math and economics, and I can sense my excitement and curiosity every time I have

these two lectures. However, some part of my mind keeps telling me that I should choose a

science major because the traditional Chinese stereotype is that boys are more likely to succeed

as scientists for the rational thinking gifted by the gender identity. Whereas literature subjects
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such as economics are mainly for girls because they usually require students to recite whatever is

written in texts.

I do not know whether to follow my passion or to believe in a traditional saying, and this

is the very conflict battling in my mind now. “Give me thirty minutes, and I will call you back,” I

tell my father this and then close the laptop. Feeling exhausted and stressed, I decide to take a

short break to cool down my firing brain. I get on my bed, plug in a headphone, and start to let

my mind drift away from reality.

As memories flashing back like a photo booth, I start to go over all the moments that I

have experienced since the beginning of my academic journey. In my imagination, I vaguely see

a classroom with four white brushed walls and a blackboard which there is some remaining chalk

on it, and this is my math classroom in elementary school.

I had been good at math since the first grade. Although I did not know if I was genuinely

talented or because my parents provided me with extra math education, I barely got any grades

below 95 out of 100 for math exams. However, while frequently being the type of student that

math teachers praised, I had a hard time studying Chinese, or I never wished to do well in

Chinese tests because it required reciting, which was too much for me. And whenever my

parents or teachers attempted to scold me for my bad Chinese grades, I told them that I was a

boy, so my poor performance in non-science subjects made sense. Such excuse worked every

time until I got in a middle school and began taking science courses such as physics and

chemistry.
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My chemistry teacher was a mid-age lady. She was a little bit obese; her face was square,

and, with a short bob, she looked like an angry Michelin Man sometimes. I did not like her, not

only because I was horrible at chemistry, but also because she always yelled at me in class.

In one afternoon, she came to the class in a bad mood. I could tell she was pissed off

because she looked like a new-cooked dumpling and I could almost see the white smoke emitting

from her red face. I knew why she was angry: someone did terrible in the recent exam, and I

might be one of them.

“Students, your average score at the exam is bad, and that is because many people never

put in enough effort.” She then turned to me and continued, “especially Denis. You got the

lowest score among the entire class. Should you introspect yourself, and I need to talk to your

parents.”

“Well, okay,” I calmly replied but with a shocked expression. I did not care for words

coming from people who I did not like, but I understood that I would worsen the situation if I did

not appear to be upset.

I hated my chemistry teacher as well as chemistry itself. To me, chemistry was a bunch of

mystical characters, and every chemistry course was like neverending torture, exhausting me

with its vapidity. Besides chemistry, I also did not like physics. My physics teacher was a skinny

woman; I did not have a vivid memory of her because she barely paid attention to me for I was

not one of the students who was worth her time.

The stereotype that boys were talented in science did not apply to me since middle

school. Additionally, failing all exams other than math, I began to question the meaning of study

and my true academic interests. Maybe I was wrong on the judgment that literature was not my
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field. In fact, the only reason I hate literature subjects was the requirement of memorizing the

content for test purpose. I somehow appreciated reading books and studying classics. Whenever I

had free time, I liked to read some novels. Besides, every time when my father brought his

friends to home and had conversations about history, politics, and economics, I would want to sit

with them and enjoy the moment of listening and learning new ideas that would change my

perspective. For example, when they talked about the history of the Yuan Dynasty conquering

China and pushing its territory all the way to Europe, I gained a new understanding of the

historical images of China, as being amazed by the powerful epic character Genghis Khan.

Learning history was a different experience from studying science. Unlike studying the science

concepts and applying them, learning history and literature enriched my mind, making me think

like an experienced adult who dealt with everything maturely. What was more splendid was that

I could understand the world better as I studied more literature subjects.

When I got into a US high school, I met my economics teacher Mr. K, who made me fall

in love with this subject. Mr.K was in his 40s but he was already bald, and the only hair on his

head had turned white. In contrast to his appearance of an old man, Mr.K was enthusiastic and

energetic while giving lectures. He used real cases as samples and explained the mindsets and

logic behind every economic decision. Unlike the education that I received in China, Mr.K

barely asked me to memorize key terms, because he believed that the best way of learning was

understanding.

“To succeed in economics, you need to gain the skills of analyzing. In contrast to the

invariant laws in science, economics is alive and everchanging. Therefore, you have to include
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multiple aspects while analyzing and learn to think like an economist.” Mr.K said this in his first

economic class.

Being fascinated by the fantastic world of economics, I spent a lot of time working on

required assignments and doing additional research about economics and the market. The

process was time-consuming, however, I never felt bored; and this was my first time

experiencing the feeling of working on something with passion. Until then, I understood that

gender had no business with a person’s academic career because the only thing involved in

picking a major was your passion. People themselves decided what to study, and both genders

could succeed in any fields once they had interests and motivations.

As memory ends, I open my eyes. Having a long and deep breath, I, now, have made up

my mind. I get back to the desk and then open my computer, as the facetime finishes connecting

and my father’s face shows up on the screen, I say, “I am going to major in the financial math.”

“Why,” my father asks.

“It is my passion,” I tell him, “after all these years of studying in the United States, I gain

a better understanding of myself. I love both math and economics and have totally no interest in

science. If major is what I am going to dedicate myself in the next four years, then I hope the

journey that I am soon to take can evoke my desire of study and satisfy my interests and

curiosity.”

“It seems that you have made up your mind. If this is your dream, then go ahead and

pursue it,” my father smiles and then ends the conversation.

Taking another long and deep breath, I open the application page and then select the

financial math as my major.

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February 11, 2019

Denis Deng
Phelp Hall 3519
University of California at Santa Barbara, CA 93107

Dear Denis:

Life is a one-way journey, and people cannot reacquire what they have given up once they made
a choice. In college, as soon as you decide your major, you will have to dedicate yourself in that
field for the following four years; more than that, your entire life path can be determined. Hence,
it is never easy for anyone to make such an important choice at the age of 18. However, after the
three-year experience of studying abroad, you have become more mature and a better student
than ever. Additionally, the most important reward is that you have found your genuine academic
interest, financial math. As you have set a clear goal, you should start to consider how to
accomplish that goal and succeed in college. Having accompanied you through your academic
journey since elementary school, I know your strengths and weaknesses. To aid you to be a
successful college student, I have a few suggestions for you: discover the joy of studying,
maintain grit, and utilize available resources wisely.

First of all, learning is a boring task and lectures can sometimes be tedious, so it is of great
importance to maintain your curiosity and motivations in the process. In the ​Lab Girl,​ Jahren’s
interest in chemistry was sparked in her childhood as her father usually brought her to the
laboratory and showed her the fantastic world of science (Jahren 7). Therefore, when she grew
up and went to the University of Minnesota, she became dedicative and spent a lot of time
working in the lab and pharmacy. Jahren’s experience is impressive and unique because she
already started to work for her dream at an age that many of her peers were busy with school
work and finding a hard time determining their careers.

What makes Jahren distinctive is her passion. Similar to Jahren’s story, your father significantly
influenced you since you were young, making you fall in love with math and economics by
showing you the fabulous world of math and inspiring you with market strategies. As a result,
when you get bored with classes and find math concepts challenging, you should recall your
interests in the economic and math fields. Think about the joyful moments when you sat beside
your father and listened to the conversations among him and his friends about economics and
markets. Those inspiring ideas are like a pair of wings, lifting you to a higher level and
expanding your view of the world. Besides, remind yourself of the delight when you worked out
a series of hard math problems and the satisfaction in your heart when you gained advanced math
knowledge.
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Moreover, if you feel depressed or wish to quit due to the poor performance in math and
economics and exams, you can go to your professors’ office hours to talk to them. By doing this,
you will not only have your academic problem solved, but you will also have the chance to
discuss with professors about things beyond school. For instance, your math professor may offer
you tricky but entertaining math games to play with, and your economics professor may tell you
his opinions on the market and give you suggestions about stock trading or entrepreneurship,
which will further inspire you. Like Jahren, you have determined your career direction and love
the decision that you made. Hence, it would be best if you believed that the negative thoughts
resulting from obstacles do not mean your passion is fading, and it only symbolizes that you are
reaching a plateau. To make a breakthrough, it is always essential for you to remember your
passion, and, more importantly, to maintain a determined mind.

On the journey of learning, it is preposterous that a student will not face any pitfalls; therefore, to
succeed in college, you should have grit. Jahren claims that “the plant will never again enjoy any
hope of relocating to a place less cold, less dry, less dangerous. It will face frost, drought, and
greedy jaws without any possibility of flight” (52). For plants, once a seed falls to the ground, it
has no other possible future but either keeps ungerminated or sprouts after overcoming various
obstacles. The same thing applies to studying. Being a student, you will face many challenges for
sure. For instance, you may perform poorly on an exam even if you have put in enough effort
and spent a significant amount of time reviewing. You could sometimes feel depressed because
of the burden resulting from a busy schedule, and you may also feel lonely as you are thousands
of miles away from home and barely know anyone who can stand your endless complaints. Life
is uneasy, and grit is what you should have. By being admitted by the University of California at
Santa Barbara, you have accomplished your first life goal and begun your real academic journey.
Nothing is impossible, and every obstacle can be overcome once you have a determined mind. If
you have difficulty understanding the knowledge taught in lectures, you can ask teaching
assistants during sections. Those teaching assistants are zealous older brothers or sisters who
have also experienced similar difficulties and, therefore, can explain those abstract concepts in a
more understandable way. Friends are helpful when you have homesickness or depression, and
they always will always be with you, sharing both your happiness and sadness. Although parents
are far away from you, their love and expectations for you never fade; you can facetime them in
the afternoons or whenever you feel distressed or preoccupied, and they will always be the
audiences who accept all your complaints and then offer you consolation and encouragement.
The journey of learning is tough, but you are never alone. Therefore, when facing drawbacks,
instead of panicking, you are supposed to stay mentally strong and actively look for available
resources for help.

A university never lacks useful resources that help students succeed, and it is essential for you to
utilize them properly. In the ​Lab Girl,​ Jahren describes that a fungus prefers to live with plants
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although it has the ability to live independently. The reason behind this is that a fungus can suck
the sugar from a plant’s root. “The plant and fungus anchor each other and will work together
until the tree is tall enough to fight for light at the top of the canopy” (105). The collaboration
between the plant and fungus results in brighter futures for both of them. Working with others
can ease the difficulty and produces a better outcome; hence, regarding academic success, it is
advantageous for you to study with friends and peers. For instance, you may form or join a study
group consisting of people who take the same course with you. Wechat is a useful application
where you can find and know people in your classes, and it is easy to start a chat group with
them. Besides, you can go to CLAS, the Campus Learning Assistance Service, where there will
be professors and professional faculties who can explain your problems with homework or help
you understand the concepts taught in lectures. Moreover, in CLAS, you can find workshops or
review sessions before midterms or finals, and those will give you opportunities to have more
practice and meet helpful peers.

Life is a one-way journey, and each direction will lead to a bright future if a person can reach the
destination without quitting halfway. Since you picked the path to study financial math, your
challenging four-year college life filled with barriers and obstacles is doomed. However,
succeeding in college is not an unrealistic daydream. To achieve your academic goals, you
should keep passions, maintain grit, and use the available resources wisely.

Sincerely,

Wenjia Deng
South Hall 3431
University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93107
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Work Cited
Jahren, Hope. ​Lab Girl.​ Vintage. April 5, 2016. Print.