August 17, 2017

Dark Night

…think not you can direct the course of love, for love if it finds you worthy directs your course.

- Kahlil Gibran

One day I asked God angrily, “What do you want me to do with this heart?!”

But the question that I raised was not enough.There are many thoughts that followed
after and words alone are not sufficient to express the grievances of my heart during
that day. Though God didn’t answered me directly, my eyes saw, in a miraculous
manner, the unfolding of a story. A story that mirrors St. John’s dark night of the soul but
eloquently sings the words of the psalmist “He has put into my heart a marvelous
love.”

I might be harsh the way I treat God with all of these profound interrogations I can
emotionally muster, but still He never failed me whenever I need him most.

…and Love? It’s a mystery.

 August 18, 2017

Castel Sant’Angelo

Beauty is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

- Joseph Ratzinger

Dante: Gee! The altar is so beautiful.

Aris: Ah, those gold leafs are new again…artisans were here yesterday. I saw
them hovering over the scaffoldings.

Dante: I see. Those golden acanthus leaves on top of that pillar reminds me of the
magnificent roman basilicas in Italy.

Aris: If I’m the interior designer of this chapel, I will fill the ceiling with that of
Michelangelo’s Sistine frescoes.

Dante: Really? That’s great! I will ask sculptors too to copy some of Bernini’s
masterpieces and fill those empty niches with…

Aris: Angels after Castel Sant’Angelo?

Dante: The Bridge of Angels leading to it. I love the way Bernini executed his ten
gorgeous angels. Each holding symbols of the Passion of Christ.

Aris: True. They are so beautiful that Clement IX kept two of those ten angels
guarding the Castel for his own pleasure.

Dante: Hahaha! Ain tu? I wonder how these angels guarding the Castel were not
able to defend themselves when the Pope kidnapped them!
 August 19, 2017

Hurt

Hinc mihi fletus abundat, Hence my tears are abundant

hinc fletus inundat. Hence my tears are flowing.
Est mihi pallor in ore, My face is pale
Est, quia fallor amore. Because of love's disappointment.

- Peter Abelard from

Axe Phebus Aureo

7 years ago…and I remember.

Hurt me…it’s ok.

Hurt me again…it’s ok.

Hurt me again and again…it’s ok.

Hurt me, I will not mind.

Love is all that I have and pain is for you to give

I can forgive and in silence I will leave.

I’m sorry.
 August 20, 2017

In Noctem

Ferte in noctem animam meam

Illustrent stellae viam meam
Aspectu illo glorior
Dum capit nox diem

Carry my soul into the night

May the stars light my way
I glory in the sight
As darkness takes the day

- Nicholas Hooper
OST Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2 years ago…

When I was a child I remember my father joyfully chanting the Gloria in excelsis Deo in the choir
every Sunday morn holding my little hand. And now in grief I intone the Kyrie Eleison for his
Requiem Mass. What bittersweet music it was for me!
 August 21, 2017

Oracle

My heart is in a sacred revolt

For a written oracle I cannot change
A bloodless martyrdom, now behold!
Who would dare wage war against the Son of Zeus
Nor dare defile the Delphic stone
Fate has spoken – the string they soaked in bloody Styx!
Contre qui, rosé
Contre qui, rosé,
avez-vous adopté
ces épines?
Votre joie trop fine
vous a-t-elle forcée
de devenir cette chose
armée?

Mais de qui vous protège

cette arme exagérée?
Combien d'ennemis vous ai-je
enlevés
qui ne la craignaient point?
Au contraire, d'été en automne,
vous blessez les soins
qu'on vous donne.

Against whom, rosé,

hâve you assumed
thèse thorns?
Is it your too fragile joy
That forced you
to become this
armed thing?

But from whom does it protect you,

this exaggerated défense?
How many enemies hâve I
Lifted from you
who did not fear it at all?
On thé contrary, from summer to autumn
you wound thé affection
that is given you.

Rainer Maria Rilke, from Les Rosés English translation by Barbara and
Erica Muhl
(XI) La rose complète
J’ai une telle conscience de ton
être, rose complète,
que mon consentement te confond
avec mon coeur en fête.
Je te respire comme si tu étais,
rose, toute la vie,
et je me sens l’ami parfait
d’une telle amie.
The perfect rose
I am so aware of your
being, perfect rose,
that my consent mistakes you
for my elated heart.
I breathe you in as if you were,
rose, all life itself,
and I feel myself the perfect lover
of such a beloved.