The San Mateo County Youth Commission Talks About

Depression and Suicide Prevention

Summer, 2010

Ready, Set, Heal! 131 Things to

P. 17 be Happy
About!
p.15

Reflecting on The
Community Resources,
Palo Alto Tragedies
stats and more!
p. 14

Youth Speak Out

About Depression
p. 6
Who Are We?
The Youth Commission (YC) was established
in 1993 by the San Mateo County Board of Su-
pervisors. 25 – 30 youth ages 14 – 21 serve on
the Youth Commission, and they reside
throughout the County. In the YC, members
have the option of serving on a County Board
or Commission or to work collaboratively on
2009-2010 Youth Commission Members
a countywide policy project. We currently
Executive Board:
have youth serving on the Mental Health Board,
the Commission on the Status of Women, and
the Pride Initiative, among others. The YC is
supported by the SMC Health Department,
Health Policy & Planning Unit and the Youth
Development Initiative at Youth & Family En-
richment Services.
The Purpose of the San Mateo
County Youth Commission
• Provide a forum for youth to de-
velop projects and policy recom-
mendations to address issues
that are important to young
people in San Mateo County.
• Provide youth input into policies
and projects occurring in San
Mateo County’s Boards and
Commissions and other govern-
ance structures.
• Disseminate findings and recom-
mendations to the community
and the San Mateo County
Board of Supervisors.
• Collaborate with other youth,
elected officials, and the general
public to address issues of con-
cern to young people.
Co-Chair: Nick Kosturos-Crystal Springs Uplands School-
Policy Track
Co-Chair: James Pollack- Burlingame High School-Peninsula
Partnership Leadership Council and Policy Track
Co-Secretary: John Ha- Mills High School-Policy Track
Co-Secretary: Donald Livingston- Summit Preparatory
Charter High School-Mental Health Board
General Membership-Board and Commission Track:
Terry Chan-Mills High School-First 5 Commission
Sylvia Chen-Mills High School-First 5 Commission
Jessica Esquivel- Sequoia High School—The Pride Initiative
and Policy Track
Rebecca Flores-Notre Dame De Namur University-
Commission on the Status of Women
Melissa Sanchez Rodriguez- Burlingame High School—
Juvenile Justice Delinquency Prevention Commission
Stephanie Young- Crystal Springs Uplands School—
Commission on the Status of Women
General Membership- Policy Track:
Andrew Avila- El Camino High School
Kerri Chiu- Mills High School
Marian Cole-Burlingame High School
Jasmine Elmiari- Capuchino High School
Farsam Fraz- Mills High School
Brittney Filimoehala-Egan– Mills High School
Michael Gao- Mills High School
Sharon Godinez-Woodside High School
Kevin Hill- Sequoia High School
Thomas Hunter- Sequoia High School
Ausjerae Elayne Holland- Eastside College Preparatory
School
Kristie Lui- Mills High School
Edwin Man- Mills High School
Heather Ngai- Burlingame High School
Conrad Postel- Capuchino High School
Shannon Tam- Mills High School
2
Letter from the Editors Table of Contents
Farsam Fraz & John Ha
As editors from the San Mateo County Youth Commission,
The Numbers——5
we present to you this magazine to eliminate or reduce
the stigma of depression and suicide by highlighting per-
In Our Own Words:Youth Talk About
sonal stories, statistics, and community resources. We at
the youth commission view this topic as one of the most Depression——6
relevant issue among youth and have chosen this topic
above all others as our policy track project. Stress and Schools——7
With the recent rise of reported suicides, such as the inci-
dents at Gunn High School in Palo Alto, we feel compelled
OnYourMind.net——8
to raise awareness about this issue and prevent future oc-
currences. To accomplish this goal, we have accumulated
Mental Health Vocabulary—— 9
information from various sources including notes from
local fishbowls on teen depression, personal testimonies,
Submission: Part of My Life——10,11
guest speakers on suicide prevention, and other reliable
online sources. While we hope this magazine pro-
Under the Surface: Depression in Men,
vides valuable information, please know it should not Depression in Women——12,13
replace seeking help from mental health professionals.
We are youth hoping to help other youth. Tragedy at Henry M. Gunn High
By reading these articles, we sincerely hope you will attain School——14
a new perspective and become more open to discussing
this important issue with other youth. We strongly believe 131 Things to be Happy About——15
this is an essential first step in raising awareness and pre-
venting incidences of suicide. Thank you and enjoy. Hopeful Vs. Hopeless——16
— The San Mateo County Youth Commission, 2010 Ready, Set, Heal!——17

Note to Readers: All articles, with the exception of the Submission: My Poem——18
two community submissions, are written by members of
the SMC Youth Commission. This magazine does not claim Stigma and Depression——19
to eradicate stigma; rather, this project seeks to encourage
dialogue around the issues of teen suicide, depression and
stigma. While many “facts” are cited, this content reflects
Community Resources—— 20
YC views and does not address all perspectives. Please
visit NAMI of San Mateo County at: http://
www.namisanmateo.org/advocacy.asp or the Na-
tional Mental Health association at: http://
www.nmha.org/ for more comprehensive informa- Magazine Editors:
tion.
John Ha and Farsam Fraz

3
Contribution for “Talk About It: Break the Stigma”
From: Kristin Dempsey; Behavioral Health and Recovery Services (BHRS)
Co-Chair Suicide Prevention Initiative
I was honored to be asked to write an
acknowledgement for “Talk About It: Break
the Stigma.” As I read through the newsletter,
I was struck by the depth and honesty of the
stories addressing very sensitive mental health
issues, as well as by the amazing production
values (nice job!). I’m also a bit intimidated,
because as I read this, all professional and edu-
cated, I am painfully aware of my assumptions
about youth, and how these assumptions can
be quite dangerous.
Additionally, I am disappointed in my-
self. I was a part of the “Me” generation way
back in the Reagan-Youth 80’s. At least that’s
what I was told. We were amused with the
assumptions made about us as youth by the
older generations. I remember organizing
demonstrations against apartheid or for repro-
ductive rights in the middle of the night, and
musing how somehow we were viewed as part
of a self-interested, self-focused mass of un-
grateful youth, all collectively “out for number
one.” Whatever. We weren’t going to be so
out of touch with our kids. So, how does
this happen, that as we age, we get youth so
incredibly wrong? Ask almost any adult, and no
one can fully explain how we lose touch. We
are good at judging, though. We might not
know how we’ve moved away from the youth-
ful perspective or what has caused the world
to change, exactly, but we like to make all
kinds of pronouncements about the inferiority
of those coming up.
Without lamenting further, I can only
say that for whatever reason, we don’t get it.
One possible solution: adults need to judge
less and really listen. How do you know if we
are listening? The conversations and practices
change. You know, skate parks get built, and
health programs have Facebook pages.
And yes, we really rely on the youth
leaders, such as those on the Youth Commis-
sion, to tell us what’s up, and help us get in
touch with our unhelpful, counter-productive
assumptions. So in honor of the “kids” who
talked with us over the last year, let me ad-
dress a couple of brilliant nuggets I never
would have got if I didn’t listen to some pow-
erful messages from youth.
“I think a lot of the discussion was based on
how to help friends who may be suicidal/
depressed, but there was not a lot of talk
about what to do if you are feeling suicidal/
depressed.”
This is from feedback from Summit High 10th
graders attending a session on suicide organ-
ized by Youth Commissioner Donald
Livingston. Until I read this feedback, I was
easing into the subject, you know, not wanting
to upset anyone, by being gentle and indirect. I
was powerfully moved by the words I received
from the youth: BE REAL. I now have an op-
portunity to change my act; open up, be direct,
stop sugar-coating the painful realities we all
face.
Similarly, I might have assumed that
some youth don’t want to privilege adults with
opportunities to help them deal with Suicidal-
ity, but I discovered through listening that re-
luctance comes not from youthful resistance,
but from overly intense efforts on the part of
adults to get teens to talk. A member of El
Centro’s Youth Advisory Board informed us
that youth “get defensive…you have to work up
to [talking about suicide]…don’t accuse them of
[being suicidal].” Feeling accused and under at-
tack keeps most of us from saying how we
feel, even if what we need to say is critically
important.
There is more we are learning every-
day from our youth leaders, and the youth
they inspire. I congratulate the members of
the San Mateo Youth Commission for being
those talented leaders who are willing to take
the risk of speaking out. I challenge my adult
peers to also risk, move out of their comfort
zone and open up to listening. We have so
much to learn from each other.
4
 By: Sharon
Godinez &
Marian
Cole

• Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for children and youth aged 10-19
(National Center for Youth Statistics, 2005).
• Among high school students in the United States, females were more
likely to report having considered, planned, and attempted suicide compared
to males (Center for Disease Control, 2007).
• Still, there are 4 completed male suicides for every 1 completed
female suicide (http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=705d5df4-055b-
f1ec-3f66462866fcb4e6).

• About 20 percent of teens will experience depression before they reach

adulthood (http//www.teendepression.org/articles5.html).

• As many as 8.3 percent of teens suffer from depression for at least a year,
compared to about 5.3 percent of adults (http//www.teendepression.org/
articles5.html).
• Teen depression can affect a teen regardless of gender, social background,
income level, race, school, or other social factors (http//
www.teendepression.org/articles5.html).
• 30 % of teens with untreated depression are more likely to develop a sub-
stance abuse problem or engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher
rates of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

5
 In Our Own Words:
Youth Talk about
Depression!
The following statements are from real youth at a local
high school in San Mateo County. They bravely share
Quotes compiled by Nick Kosturos their experiences with depression in order to raise
awareness about how real this issue is for many teens.

Young people are dealing with depression by using

“When you are depressed there
is nothing you can do to
make yourself happy,” you
feel “miserable” and “alone.”
“drugs, alcohol, cutting.”
I am not talking about this issue with adults, because
“I can’t trust them, they think you’re sad not de-
pressed.”

When I was depressed, “I didn’t care [about anything] and was crumpled up inside.”

“I have tried cutting and got obsessed with it. Feeling the small pain makes me feel better.”

The community can help

Youth can help their peers with depression by “not
youth with depression
by “beingaware of forcing answers” and just “listening.”
the warning signs
Many youth don’t talk about depression because they’re “fearful of being
of depression and
labeled crazy or psycho.”
raising AWAR-
NESS.”
“I want to help [my friends] who are depressed but don’t know how.”

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

6
 Kerri Chiu & James Pollack

“Stress” is a word prevalent in the lives of high school students in Be sure to use resources mentioned throughout this magazine
San Mateo County, heard in the halls when talking about SATs, dates to your advantage if you start to experience signs of stress, depres-
to prom, and final exams. Stress is an ever-present factor in every sion or suicide. Keep in mind that you are not alone—all students
student’s life. feel stress. For example of the 2,200 Stanford students surveyed in
2007-2008, nearly 12% said they had thought of suicide (Stanford
Both school and one’s personal life have grown to be large con-
Task Force). Stress is not something felt only by those who attend
tributors to the stress of students. We’ve all felt the strain of study-
high school or college; each of us face our own unique challenges
ing for that next test or have been pressured by our parents and
inside and outside of school. We must be aware of our personal
peers to get into a top college. However, this stress can take a sig-
stress triggers in order to adopt healthy coping mechanisms.
nificant toll: if left unchecked, stress can lead to anxiety, depression,
insomnia, changes in weight, and a decreased quality of life.

Of a sample of 5000 Bay Area youth, 54% of high school females

and 32% of high school males reported three or more symptoms of
stress in the past month (Galloway, 2009). Many youth report that
some of the most common stress triggers include grades, parental
pressure, friends, relationships, college, finding a job, standardized
testing or other stressors–everyone can feel the pressure to per-
It is important to use resources at your school and community
form.
to deal with your stress in a healthier way. Talking to a trusted adult
Persistent stress, as previously mentioned, can lead to depres- such as a teacher, college counselor, staff, administrator, or your
sion and other serious consequences beyond the mental health guardians can help with stress in a constructive way.
realm. There are many theories as to the correlation between
Adults often say that high school is the best time of your life but
stress and depression. The prevailing theory is that stress can lead to
it can be hard to think so given the high levels of stress we all ex-
the destruction of neuron connections in the hippocampus (a part of
perience. But remember, it doesn’t have to be as stressful as it is.
the brain). This atrophy can result in increased symptoms of depres-
There is always a place to go for support, and resources are listed in
sion (Bear). This connection means that stress can cause physical
the back of this magazine.
changes, leading to depression over time if left unchecked.
Good Ways to Relieve Stress!
Sources: • Go for a walk/exercise
-M. F. Bear and W. C. Abraham. Long-term depression in hippocampus.
• Call a good friend
Annu Rev Neurosci. 1996; 19: 437–462. doi: 10.1146/
annurev.ne.19.030196.002253.
• Play with a pet
-Galloway, Mollie K., Connor, Jerusha O., and Pope, Denise. 2009. Stan-
ford Survey of Adolescent School Experiences. Presentation at Challenge • Meditation & yoga
Success May Conference, Stanford, CA.
• Listen to music

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

7
Q&A
from
What is OnYour-
Mind.net?
OnYourMind.net pro-
vides a safe and anony-
mous place for teens to
get information and sup-
port from other teens.
You can talk about any-
thing that’s on your mind,
including relationships,
school, depression, stress,
suicide, friends, parents,
cutting, identity, and
health. You can also sub-
mit a question to be an-
swered on our Q&A page,
or connect to resources
for additional information
and support.
Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net
Q: I think my friend is depressed, but I don’t know
what to do. What should I say to him?
A: If you believe your friend is depressed, then you probably have
some good reasons. Maybe he has started to withdraw from social
activities or hobbies that he used to enjoy. Maybe you have noticed
changes in his eating or sleeping habits. Whatever the reasons, you
should try to ask your friend about it. Just tell him that you have no-
ticed some changes and you are concerned. You could tell him the
different things you have observed that have caused you to
worry. Let your friend know that you want to talk to him about
whatever it is that is bothering him. Let him know that you are here
for him and you are willing to listen to anything he wants to talk
about. You could also suggest that he try talking to a school counselor
about what’s going on and offer to go with him to the counselor’s of-
fice if he wants you to. Also, tell him how he can reach a local crisis
line if he’s interested (1-800-SUICIDE or a youth hotline at 1-800-
843-5200). Keep being a good friend to him and looking out for him. If
things don’t improve or you get really concerned, you might want to
talk to a school counselor or other trusted adult yourself.
Q: What are the warning signs of suicide?
A: Warning signs include cutting/self injury, writing a will or giving things
away, saying “goodbye” or “I love you,” threats of suicide, drug/alcohol
abuse, drastic changes in mood, and depression. Symptoms of depression
can include: changes in eating/sleeping habits, isolation, withdrawal, feel-
ings of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness or despair, feeling
lonely, and no longer getting enjoyment from activities that you used to
enjoy. Please remember that none of these things mean someone is suici-
dal. But the more warning signs that are present, the more at risk that
person may be; don’t hesitate to talk about it!
8
 By: Kristie Lui
Mental Health Disorders and the Actors that Portray Them

• Bipolar Disorder (also known as manic depression) is a

mental disorder that causes extreme mood, energy, think-
ing, and behavioral swings. Worse than a typical mood
swing, one with a bipolar disorder can instantly switch from an unnatural ecstasy to an extremely un-
healthy depression.

Jessica Stroup in TV show 90210, Kirk Douglas in movie Lust for Life

• Depression affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Often those diagnosed with de-
pression lose interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel distressed for extended peri-
ods of time. It can affect their body, mood, thoughts, and behavior as well as their eating habits, how they
feel and think, their ability to work and study, and how they interact with people.

James Stewart in movie It’s a Wonderful Life, Isabelle Adjani in movie Camille Claudel, Sean Penn in
movie The Assassination of Richard Nixon

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic, unwanted

thoughts and/or repetitive actions possibly due to deep feelings of doubt. Those with OCD may also be ob-
sessed with germs or dirt, and wash their hands repetitively.

Tony Shalhoub in TV show Monk, Nicholas Cage in movie Matchstick Men, Leonardo DiCaprio in movie The
Aviator

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event in which
grave physical danger is presented. Events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disas-
ters, accidents, or military combat.

Tom Hanks in movie Saving Private Ryan, Robert De Niro in movie The Deer Hunter

• Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it difficult for one to differentiate between real and
unreal experiences, think logically, have typical emotional responses, and behave “normally” in social
situations. A person diagnosed with schizophrenia is capable of having one or more of these symptoms.
Contrary to popular beliefs, schizophrenia does not refer to the illness in which one has multiple person-
alities.

Russell Crowe in movie A Beautiful Mind, Jake Gyllenhaal in movie Donnie Darko, Jamie Fox in
movie The Soloist

Please Note: The definitions and actors provided reflect the perspectives of the author. For more de-
tailed information, please visit the Mental Health Association of San Mateo County at:
www.mhasmc.org.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

9
 The following article was a voluntary response to a request made by the San Mateo County
Youth Commission for youth to share their experiences with mental health issues. The goal of
this individual was to share her personal story, in order to provide hope and inspiration. We at
the Youth Commission are grateful for her courage to share such a personal story.

My name is Tanairi and I am seventeen years old. The story of my life

may or may not help other youth understand that even in the most difficult
situations you are not alone. I hope to get my point across by telling you a part
of the experiences in my life and how I got through dealing with them.
I may be different than others in the case that I have a beautiful baby
girl who is seventeen months old. I can say that from the start she has always
been my motivation to not give up on myself and to find ways to fix my prob-
lems because I know that if I did not take the steps to help myself, there would
be no way I could have taken care of my daughter. My life is no longer about me,
but about her. Honestly that has been the most difficult part because I was used
to being a regular teenager who was able to go out whenever I wanted and now
I can’t. I don’t ever regret having my baby and yes she was planned. She is the
strength within me that I could not have found alone.
I am an alcoholic and it is a disease that can get out of hand and con-
trol your life if you do not do something about it on time; you have to be willing
to give up this habit. I grew up around alcohol, drugs, gangs, and violence. I do not blame all these things for the fact
that I have been locked up several times or that my life seems unmanageable. I believe that the things I have gone
through were all up to me because I could have broken a bad cycle in my family but instead I chose to continue living
that way. I used to watch my mom and dad fight and argue and I would shake with fear because I did not know what
would happen next. My dad would leave the house whenever he felt like it and would not come back for two or even
three days. He cheated on my mom a lot and the fights got really bad so my mom had to kick him out. I remember
feeling scared, alone, and as if my feelings did not matter because all the drama was between them and that they had
forgotten I was even there. My dad was also very hard on me and made me feel as if I wasn’t worth anything; he wanted
me to live up to his standards. I was not able to be myself because I was so used to putting others before me and keep-
ing my head down. My dad left when I was about nine or ten and even though I had bad experiences with him, I missed
him and would beg him to come home. I was missing the male figure in my life. And I had no one to comfort me be-
cause my mom was hurt as well. We were alone, just her and I.
Everyday at school I had a hard time getting through the day because I had so much hate and anger bottled up
inside. I hung out with people who I thought were my family, but they were a bunch of gang members. I was really into
gangs, mainly because I had a sister and cousins who were gang members, so it was normal to me. My friends at school
made me feel good about myself because we went around doing stupid things that helped me get my anger out. I started
drinking at age twelve and I loved the way it made me feel because I didn’t have to feel any pain or anger because the
alcohol made me feel as if I was everything that I was not. All the pain my dad caused me from saying I wasn’t good
enough affected me a lot because I became very self conscious and started believing that maybe I actually wasn’t good
enough. I got into a lot of fights because it was a way in which I was able to get my anger out. I started getting sus-
pended, having to go to Saturday school, having half days at school, and I even got so out of control that my mom had
to send me to Vacaville to live with my sister because she did not know how to deal with me. But it got worse there
because I was into more alcohol, fights, gangs, and became less involved with school. These were my negative ways of
coping with my life, and it was not getting any better.
For some reason, I did not have many girl friends. I was always around guys because they seemed like less
drama and more fun. Since my dad left me I had always looked for comfort in other guys acting like they cared for me
because they were the closest thing I had to feeling a man’s “love.” They were gang members and they couldn’t have
cared less about me because I was just a “home girl.” This was just the way my life was, and I continued to do worse
things and it was easy for me because nobody was there to stop me.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

10
Part of My Life
Although my mom loved me, she was drowning in her own stress and I did not want to bother her. I felt that as long as she
stayed out of my way, I was going to be fine. In high school, I was having so much fun because I would drink all day, every-
day and I was fine. I would get to class wasted or sometimes just not even go at all.
I met my boyfriend when I was in 10th grade and I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I
still feel that way, but it’s not a good thing. He is the reason why I am on probation. He is a gang member and an alcoholic,
so I became more addicted to these things by being around him. At the beginning it seemed like endless love, and we would
do anything for each other. We stole a car and left San Mateo County, not knowing that we would get caught and arrested
the next day. I’m thankful we got caught though, because we had no money, clothes, gas, or place to go. I was charged with
a felony; it was my first charge. We were in Solano County and I got transferred to my county where I managed to stay out
of jail for only a month. I got locked up again in my county, and while I was in jail, I found out I was three months pregnant.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. My boyfriend was locked up in camp for almost 9 months, but I was doing well. I was
staying out of trouble, not drinking, and staying healthy, but only because I was pregnant.

“There are healthier ways of dealing

with a bad situation—you can do some-
thing to change it because you don’t
have to live a certain way forever. Be
strong, believe and trust.”

When my boyfriend got out and I had the baby we did really well, but he had changed so much. He be-
came more possessive of me and really jealous. We started fighting more and more and neighbors would hear us
and the cops were always at my house or his house. I even got arrested for hitting him at school. His parents did
not like me because they thought I was trying to take their son away or that I was trying to get him into trouble. So
as a young girl, I was always getting blamed for things and I would believe I was wrong. His parents decided to take
my baby away or at least tried because I would drink or get locked up; they made it seem as if my boyfriend was an
angel. When I was in the hall, I talked to the staff and they gave me a number to the Insights Program. I got out and
called right away because I was tired of so many things happening to me and I didn’t know how to deal with my
problems. Alcohol was only temporary relief.
When I started going to counseling with the Insights Program, I was really shy and thought to myself: how am I
going to talk to a stranger about my life and my issues? The more I went to counseling, I found out it wasn’t a bad place,
and I became a stronger person. I started opening up more and started to trust my therapist. I began to feel better about
the way I felt and she was able to understand me. Her understanding was so important to me because I’ve always had trou-
ble with people listening to what I have to say and how I feel about things. My thoughts and feelings became valid and that
meant a lot. I was able to talk to her about my life from childhood to the relationship with my boyfriend and everything in
between. I was just starting to work on myself when I got locked up again because of my boyfriend. I got sent to a girl’s
camp for six months and have been working on myself a lot there; I have made many changes thanks to the Insights Pro-
gram, the support I have here, and my therapist. She helped me feel like it was possible to get out of a bad situation. There
are healthier ways of dealing with a bad situation—you can do something to change it because you don’t have to live a cer-
tain way forever. Be strong, believe and trust. I’m doing it and now many people are proud of me and I am really proud of
myself. The one person that I dedicate all my hard work to is my daughter because I know that if I hadn’t had her, I proba-
bly wouldn’t have cared less about changing my life. My baby is my life, world and every reason. Even if you don’t have a
child, know that someone does care about you—and if you don’t believe that, think about your life and the important
changes you can make in your life. You are worth it!!

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

11
 “Under the
By Conrad Postal

It is a common belief that men are impervious to de-
pression, but this could not be further from the truth;
men definitely suffer from depression as well as women.
While depression affects both men and women, there
are differences in the way that men and women are so-
cialized to cope with the symptoms of depression. It is
important to understand these differences in order to
best support men and women dealing with depression.
Suicide is the eighth highest cause of death among males
in the United States (US Dept. of Health and Human
Services 1). Stigma is the shame or disgrace attached to
something that is regarded as socially unacceptable.
Stigma around males and depression is especially perva-
sive, and this perceived stigma can amplify the symptoms
men are already experiencing and decrease the chance
that they will reach out for support.

For men, the ways in which depression is triggered and If you know of a male that seems to be consistently
manifested often coincide with conventional male roles depressed then it is extremely important to be proactive
and stereotypes. For example, men can become dejected and help them identify resources. In conclusion, as a
when they fail to earn a lot of money, because many community we have a responsibility to educate men and
males feel that it is their role to be the provider of the women about gender and the symptoms of depression.
family. Also, some men that become depressed are con- This increased awareness may in turn help decrease the
cerned that they might seem emotionally weak which can stigma of mental health.
threaten their sense of masculinity. This also compounds
Citation:
the problem, because men may be reluctant to admit
that they need help. http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/calltoaction/
fact1.htm
Even if the source of depression is not directly from
masculine insecurity, it is stereotypical and socially ex-
pected for men to appear “tough” and “non-emotional.”
This is important because men will be less likely to ap-
propriately address their depression for fear of seeming
weak. It has been found that between men and women,
men are less likely to go to a doctor to treat their men-
tal illness. Untreated depression has tragic results: even
though more women attempt suicide, four times as many
men successfully commit suicide. Many of these men had
never sought mental health services. In addition, the rate
of suicide among men is increasing. The reasons for this
go beyond not seeking help to expose other issues as
well. Men are less likely to attempt suicide, but the suc-
cess rate is extremely high compared to women because
of their propensity to use firearms.

Furthermore men use their own methods to deal with

their depression and may use or increase use of alcohol
or drugs which can compound the problem once again.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

12
Surface"
By: Jasmine Elmiari

"Like, OMG, I totally hate my life!!!! He didn't call me (the number one method of female suicide), or even self-
back!!!" Is this what a “typical” girl sounds like to you? injury. Such methods of suicide can lead to a higher chance
Such categorizing of perceived female behaviors, especially of attempted suicide instead of committed suicide; women
for teenage females, creates stereotypes about "mood are more likely to survive suicide because these attempted
swings" in women, which can make female emotions too methods are slower and give the victim a chance to be
volatile to be taken seriously. Women are often stereo- taken to the hospital for treatment or for the method to
typed as the more emotional of the two genders, there- be unsuccessful. Nevertheless, it is best to stop an at-
fore leading many people to believe that they are more tempted suicide long before it ever happens.
likely to be depressed than men. Also, many people think
“One of the worst myths about sui-
that women are more likely to commit suicide than men,
which is an immense misinterpretation; recent statistics cide is that asking a person if they
prove that men actually commit suicide four times more want to commit suicide will make
than women do. Even so, women do in- them think more about suicide if
deed attempt suicide three times more than men do, but in
they were not already.”
different ways than men do. In order to prevent suicide in
females, you need to have the background knowledge on
the differences between male and female suicide.
If you are worried that a female friend of yours is
To begin, the reason that any person may at-
contemplating suicide, then you should never hesitate to
tempt suicide is often due to a seemingly endless feeling of
talk to her in private about whether or not she is thinking
hopelessness caused by work issues, relationship issues,
about suicide. One of the worst myths about suicide is
and many other situations that seem as if they will never
that asking a person if they want to commit suicide will
improve. Often, females are not taken seriously when they
make them think more about suicide if they were not al-
experience these feelings and are considering suicide. This
ready. If your friend seems abnormally down and possibly
is because society finds women to be always overly emo-
suicidal, it would be best to talk to her about it. Don't just
tional, and thus assumes that women will eventually “get
write it off that she is being a moody teenage girl who is
over their problem.” This stereotypical view of women can
worrying about "petty" problems; if you are worried, then
lead to society’s ignoring the warning signs of female sui-
it is likely something might be wrong. If you are close
cide. Unlike men, women are not expected to be stoic
enough to be friends, then you should not be afraid to let
about their feelings, but intense depression among women
your friend know what you are thinking; it could save her
is often ignored due to the general stereotype of women
life. A simple talk can show her that other people do care
as overly emotional.
and notice her feelings, and that could prevent her from
Also, the methods that women use to commit
committing suicide, regardless of whether or not she is
suicide are generally more premeditated than those of
considering it.
men. This may indicate that women are less likely to com-
mit an impulsive type of suicide such as stepping in front of Note: The information contained here reflects the perspectives
a train or jumping off of a bridge. Women committing sui- of the author. For more detailed information, please visit the
Mental Health Association of San Mateo County at:
cide are apt to use methods such as a substance overdose
www.mhasmc.org.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

13

Q: What is the best way to deal
with someone who is suici-
dal? What should I do if I think
my friend is suicidal?
A: The best thing to do to help a suicidal
person is to TALK to them about it. Be up-
front, honest, and straightforward about the
topic. Don’t be afraid to say the word
“suicide” or to ask them if they are suici-
dal. Talking about suicide doesn’t hurt the
person! Many times suicidal people want
someone to talk to, but they are afraid or
don’t know who to turn to. So, talk to the
person and let him/her know that you are
here and willing to talk about anything, in-
cluding suicide. If they don’t want to talk to
you about it, you can refer them to a crisis
hotline and that way they can talk to some-
body anonymously. Or you can call a local
crisis hotline and get some resources for
your friend. You can ask the people at the
hotline to give you some referrals to differ-
ent counseling options or support groups. It
might make things easier for your friend if
you do some of the work for him/her. Fi-
nally, if you are worried about someone be-
ing suicidal, you need to tell a trusted adult!
You can tell a parent or family member, a
teacher, counselor, or any other adult that
you trust and can talk to. It’s a lot of stress
worrying about someone being suicidal and it
is too much for one person to handle. Telling
an adult not only helps your friend, but it can
also relieve some of your stress, too.
Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net
Tragedy at Gunn
High School By: Nick Kosturos
In the month of October, 2009, a student attend-
ing Gunn High School in Palo Alto decided to take his own
life at the Charleston Road Caltrain crossing. This incident
marked the fourth time a Gunn High School student de-
cided to commit suicide within the last year. Palo Alto
police have also prevented between eight to ten possible
attempts in the same area.
This recent increase in suicides has especially af-
fected students attending Gunn High School. One Gunn
High School Student said, “I didn’t know him, but a lot of
the kids are taking it pretty hard. The mood at school is
pretty down.” The school administration is trying to ad-
dress the issue of student depression by encouraging stu-
dents to seek out available resources and discuss their
stress, depression, and mental health with school counsel-
ors or other trusted adults.
“Breaking the code of silence so of-
ten observed by teens, even when
they know friends are wrestling with
difficult issues, can be the very best,
most supportive thing they can do
for their peers.”
Gunn High School principal, Noreen Likins, ad-
vised the community: “Breaking the code of silence so
often observed by teens, even when they know friends are
wrestling with difficult issues, can be the very best, most
supportive thing they can do for their peers." The media
and police have stopped publicizing the Caltrain area
where the suicides and suicide attempts have occurred in
order to prevent repeat incidents from occurring and al-
low the community to recover from its losses. This is why
it is so important for youth to keep talking about mental
health—silence doesn’t stop suicide.
The suicides at Gunn High School have affected
the entire Bay Area community and have forced school
administrators to take a second look at their available pro-
grams and services. Let all those personally affected by this
tragic set of events know that the hearts and minds of the
entire Bay Area community are with them.
14
 “Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the
small child, and the smiling
faces. Smell the rain, and feel
the wind. Live your life to the
fullest potential, and fight for
By: Edwin Man and Shannon Tam your dreams.”

1.The smell/feel of basketball 65.Puddles (again!) 103.Wearing PJs all day

fresh laundry
32.The Eiffel Tower 66.Cool bandages 104.Dinner
2.The extra bounce in
your step from new socks 33.Comfortable sweatpants 67.Altoids with friends
34.The soft fuzz inside a 68.Roman numerals 105.Movie nights
3.The smell of new sweatshirt with family/friends
69.Jelly rolls
the air after it 35.Beating an old mile 106.Hot bubble bath
70.Old Cartoons
rains time
107.Handwritten letters
36.Hot soup on a cold 71.New carpet
4.Stepping on crunchy
day 108.Funny catch-
Autumn leaves 72.Hardwood floors phrases
5.Popping Bubble Wrap 37.Laying on cool grass in 73.The first Goldfish
the summer ingredient (smiles) 109.Snowball fights
6.Free Things 38.Old songs that you still 110.Stargazing
74.Light up shoes
7.Being warm on a know the lyrics to
111.Making fun apple
cold day 39.Reminiscing about
75.Velcro
store videos
8.Fuzzy blankets good times 76.Verdant Grass
112.Bubbles
9.Puns 40.The extraordinary 77.Quadratic Formula
feats ordinary people 113.Playgrounds
10.The perfect pair of accomplish together 78.Periodic Table of
Elements 114.Pretty fonts
pants 41.The little things that
79.Noble Gases 115.The Big Dipper
11.Adorable pictures of make your day
animals 80.Pig-Latin 116.Clean bed sheets
12.Witty re- 42.Splashing in 81.Jazz-Age 117.Being organized
marks 82.Root beer floats 118.Being healthy and fit
puddles
13.Chocolate 83.Martinelli’s 119.Big fluffy comforters
14.Fast internet 43.Your favorite food Apple Cider 120.Having no worries
44.Classic Disney movies
15.The smell of 84.Weenie Dogs 121. The Smell of good
Jasmine tea 45.Blowing a big bub- 85.Treble clef food
ble
16.Jokes between 86.Light sabers 122.Clean house/room
friends 46.British accents
87.Origami 123.Dancing slow mo-
17.Toy Stores 47.Brinners (Breakfast for tion
Dinner) 88.Animal crackers
18.Doodling 124.Interpretive dance
48.Getting a good deal 89.Intricate architecture
19.Accomplishing a when purchasing some- 125. Finding a
difficult task thing
90.Blisterfield- The waterfall on a
20.That song that you 49.Watermelons long hike
awkward moment of
can’t help but sing 50.Getting money after
trying to get past someone 126.Falling in
along with recycling love
when you continue to
21.The aroma 51.Beaches
move in the same direc- 127.Music that makes
of freshly you dance
52.Singing tion.
baked cookies
53.Poodles 128.Being invited to a
91.Volunteering birthday party
22.The city at night
54.Cheesecake 92.Presents
23.Calm walks at dusk 129.Singing along to
55.Olympics 93.Summer nights songs you know
24.Cheesy jokes/pick
up lines 56.Redecorating 94.Hanging out with a 130.Blasting music in
pet your car
57.Cashmere scarves
25.Laughing till your
stomach hurts 58.Twitter Tweets
95.Walking on the beach
96.Staying up all
131.Life
26.Receiving packages in 59.Pixar
the mail night with friends
60.Open Houses
97.Watching fire works
27.A good book that keeps
61.Good smelling
you up for hours 98.Your favorite song on
shampoo the radio
28.Clam Chowder 62.Pudding
Bread Bowls 99.Vacations
63.Cartwheels 100.Post-It notes
29.The first snip of construc-
tion paper 101.Last day of school
64.Dinosaur shaped
30.Fake mustaches 102.Dancing
chicken nuggets
31.Making a swish in

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

15
 So when you’re feeling down, your head and heart might be feeling lots of different things. “Others
might notice slight changes in your behavior.” Please remember you are not alone! Use this diagram to
help identify some warnings signs for depression.

VS.
Keep in mind: Despair can be
contagious. You may think
Keep in mind: “this will pass.”
there’s “nothing to gain but all to
There is a silver lining and
lose.” You may think about ways
brighter days ahead. Sometimes
to hurt yourself.
a change in mindset can make all
the difference.

Feel: —alone— You can feel iso-

Feels: like you have support from family
lated, hopeless and rejected. You
and friends that care. You can talk to
may have a hard time concentrat-
close friends and feel trust. You have
ing.
hope that things will work out.

Carries: friend’s and family’s phone numbers on

hand if anything comes up. A personal journal for
processing thoughts. Also has running shoes, a
Carries: Its not uncommon for
yoga mat, camera, or something on hand to have a
people to carry drugs and/or
healthy form of stress release. Strives to have a
alcohol (to numb the pain) and
mental list of personal goals and things to look
possible tools of self injury.
forward to.

Actions: To progressively do things you

Actions: Even getting out of bed may feel
enjoy. You might enjoy going out with
tough. You may start to estrange your-
friends and spending time with other people
self . You may feel lost in your thoughts.
in general. Practice de-escalation techniques.
There may be changes in appetite and
Take long walks in the park or on the beach.
sleeping patterns. You may take less
Listen to soothing music. Write poems or
interest in things you once enjoyed.
create some art. Take yoga classes or do
activities to express your feelings in a posi-
tive way .

If these thoughts or behav-

iors sound familiar please
call the confidential crisis
hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.
By: Jessica Esquivel & Also see the list of resources
Do not stand alone: Stress and depression is not at the end of this magazine.
Brittany Filimoehala-Egan
something you need to go through on your own. Make You are not alone!
an effort to let your friends and family know what is
going on. While it can be difficult to admit how serious
things have gotten, support from the ones you love can
really make the difference. Trust them, and they might
just surprise you.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

16
 By: Heather Ngai

Both families and friends are affected if someone they love takes his or her own
life. The healing process can be long and painful because a loss takes away both energy
and joy from a person. For a long time, families and friends grieve over the tragedy. Dur-
ing this time period, people’s behaviors change and the world to them appears upside
down. Family and friends experience different stages when dealing with a suicide, and eve-
ryone experiences loss differently.
The initial reaction to death is shock (http://www.bbc.co.uk/politics97/diana/
cycle.html). Family and friends are caught off guard not expecting to lose a loved one.
They cry for days and stay in shock for however long it may take. This stage is the most
numbing for many, and they are not able to grasp the ideas that someone close to them is
gone. Feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and rejection accompany the stage of shock.
Parents are often not able believe that they weren’t able to see the death of their child
coming.
Suicide is preventable and “what ifs” constantly race through the minds of parents,
family, and friends. Parents often agonize that they have let their child down. Blame for
the loss may be put on a third party such as a therapist, counselor, school, friends, etc…
who did or didn’t know of the risk, or didn't act. Being blindsided by suicide generates
anxiety, fear and a sense of vulnerability.
“Parents especially believe that they are
The next stage of the grieving dreaming and that all the events are just a
process is denial and anger memory and will fade away. The pain is
(http://www.deathwithoutfear.com/grief-cycle.htm). surreal and the sadness is overwhelming
Family members and friends are not able and confusing.”
to accept that their loved one is gone.
Parents especially believe that they are dreaming and that all the events are just a mem-
ory and will fade away. The pain is surreal and the sadness is overwhelming and confusing.
One way people deal with the pain is by yelling and hitting objects in order to feel in con-
trol (http://www.asbestos.com/support/anger.php)
The last stage of the “grieving cycle” is changes in emotions (http://
www.bbc.co.uk/politics97/diana/cycle.html). Some include helplessness and worthlessness,
which is dangerous because these feelings may remain or get worse. It is important to
seek out help from friends and family, to talk about these changing emotions. Please refer
to the Community Resources (p. 20) for safe places to express your feelings and take care
of yourself!

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

17
 My Poem
I sit

Listen

Wonder…

Door closed

Window open
“I care, you’re like a sister to me, I don’t want anything to happen to
Music blasting you”
Broken mirror “I love you too bro”
Sleeve up No more tears
Contemplating… Scars disappeared
My life wasn’t always so complicated. Just always out of place. Time It’s been ten years
and time again I tried ignoring the many names she yelled at me. The
ways in which she pushed me so far away even when I wanted to be My smile never fades
so close to her. But my sister never understood. She was too deep in As long as he’s near.
her world to acknowledge the love I had for her.
My life at home was no tragedy. The only trouble I had was with my
No more tears older sister. Three years older than me, she never wanted anything to
No more scars do with me. I often thought my life was worthless if my own family
member didn’t want me around. I even thought once or twice about
Only smiles… ending the depressive state I was in, but then I met someone very
At the window special. He listened to me, helped me get my life on track, even made
me smile once in awhile. When things would get tough I would turn
Across the quad. to him, he always knew what to say.
Phone ringing… Now, I don’t contemplate cutting or hurting myself in any way. In-
“Hello?” stead I think about the many books I can read, the many movies I can
watch with my sister who now realizes her mistake, the conversation
“Promise you won’t hurt yourself” I will have with him at the end of the day. A new addiction to my
“There’s no one that cares anyway” family, my dear friend has become my brother. One I can always
count on to get me through the day.
“I care, you’re like a sister to me, I don’t want anything to happen to
you”
The poem was a voluntary response to a request made
“I love you too bro” by the San Mateo County Youth Commission to share
No more tears one’s life struggles in the form of personal statements.
We at the Youth Commission are humbled by his/her
Scars disappeared
willingness to share this personal poem to help other
It’s been ten years youth. Our sincerest thanks.
My smile never fades

As long as he’s near.

“There’s no one that cares anyway”

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

18
 Stigma and Depression
Because stigma around depression labels son struggling with
people as weak or antisocial, young people struggling depression.
with depression often feel embarrassed or forgotten.
Stereotypes about mental health are spread
There are many reasons why in today’s society peo-
through a variety of ways. Some of which include the
ple feel ashamed to have a mental illness, and there
media and “jokes.” In today’s culture, media con-
are many reasons why society must recognize that
sumes much of our daily time, whether we are watch-
depression is common among youth and needs to be
ing TV, reading the paper, or surfing the web. There-
talked about!
fore the media influences one’s beliefs and values. In
One major reason why young people strug- many TV shows, or web sites online, mental illnesses
gling with depression feel ashamed is stereotypes. are portrayed in a negative way, by making them
Stereotypes have been around throughout history. appear overly-dramatic or comical. For example,
Stereotyping is the act of grouping a certain “type” of remember when Brittany Spears shaved her head,
thing together, as if they are all the same. One stereo- and the media was giving her a really hard time?
type that is often believed in is that all people suffer- Well, because the media exaggerated Spear’s strug-
ing from depression or any other mental illness are gles, it allowed a negative stereotype regarding de-
“crazy.” Some may feel ashamed if they believe pression to be further emphasized throughout society.
themselves to be a part of this stereotype regarding When the general public watches these types of pro-
depression. One may also be afraid that other people, grams, and they see a person condemned for their
including one’s friends and family, might stereotype emotional state, it encourages society to look down
him or her negatively. on those with mental illnesses. When someone is
ignorant about mental health, they may believe ru-
Not only do people who suffer from depres-
mors to be facts and act accordingly—this is what
sion not want to admit to others that they have a men-
creates and perpetuates stereotypes in society.
tal illness, but they may also not want to admit it to
themselves. One might try to deny that they have If we can eliminate stereotypes from today’s
depression, and try to convince themselves that they modern culture, maybe incorrect, ignorant and nega-
are healthy, just like their friends and family seem to tive views (stigma) can be completely eliminated as
be. This is dangerous because people who are de- well. There are a few ways people can combat these
pressed should confidently seek professional or common stereotypes. For example, when a stereo-
medical help: people with depression are not “crazy” typical joke is being told around you, you can just
and it is important to take care of oneself and get walk away or even better, stand up to that stereotype.
help! When one finally tells other people that they All of these efforts will benefit those living with de-
are depressed, that they are not just having a bad pression—it is important to encourage people to talk
month or year, it can be very liberating. This is be- about their emotions and seek help if necessary. “Be
cause when one is hiding his or her emotions, one the change you wish to see in the world!”
tries hard to act cheerful around other people, and
this is a draining process that doesn’t benefit the per-

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net

19
 Community Resources!
-Anger Management and Domestic Abuse Therapy
Center: 650-375-0049
430 Peninsula Ave., #7, San Mateo 94401
-Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse
(CORA): 650-312-8515
Teen Hotline: 650-259-8136
36-37th Ave., San Mateo 94401 www.corasupport.org
-Family and Children Services: 650-326-6576
375 Cambridge Ave., Palo Alto 94301
www.fcservices.org
-Family Service Agency: 650-403-4300
24-2nd Ave., San Mateo 94401
www.familyserviceagency.org
-Jewish Family and Children’s Services:
650-688-3030
200 Channing Ave., Palo Alto 94301
www.jfcs.org
-Kara (Grief Counseling for children and adults):
650-321-5272
457 Kingsley Ave., Palo Alto 94301
www.kara-grief.org
-Morris Center for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
(ASCA):
infoascasupport@gmail.com
P.O. Box 14477, San Francisco 94114
www.ascasupport.org
-National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
650-638-0800
1650 Borel Pl., #130, San Mateo 94402
www.namisanmateo.org
-Oak Tree Bereavement Center (Grief counseling for
teens and adults): 415-806-7169
1500 Perez Dr., Pacifica, 94044
www.oaktreebereavement.org
-Puente de la Costa Sur: 650-879-1691
620 North St., Pescadero 94060
www.mypuente.org
-San Mateo County Health System:
www.smhealth.org
Mental Health Access Team: 800-686-0101
Youth Case Management Services: 650-573-3504
-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Admini-
stration: www.samhsa.gov

-Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute (Information and re-

ferral for those with learning differences):
408-972-9774
6268 Snell Ave., San Jose 95123
www.kpinst.org

-Mental Health Association of San Mateo County:

650-368-3345
2686 Spring St., Redwood City 94063
www.mhasmc.org

-Mental Research Institute (Offers mental health

services, including clinical services for Spanish-
speaking clients): 650-321-3055
555 Middlefield Rd., Palo Alto 94301
www.mri.org

20