Natalie Gonzalez

Mrs. Gonaver

English CP {Block G}

1 December 2015

Adolescent Love/ Pre- Teens Dating

Have you ever walked down the street and noticed young couples together? Many people

have different opinions on this controversial topic. Some, people believe that the children and

their parents are insane for allowing young children to commit to a relationship at such an early

age. On the other hand, some people see dating as a great thing and want their child to be happy.

One thing all sides can agree on is that a relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic, is built

on three things: love, trust, and respect; without these three things a relationship will crumble to

the ground.

The word dating or relationship has different meanings to different people, but in general

it involves two people who are more than friends. A relationship can mean "hanging out", "to

chill", dating, hooking up, being in love, or having strong feelings for one another. Many people

stereotype teens in relationships; they assume that teens don't truly know what love is and

pursue relationships based on physical appearances. The majority of teens in relationships

contradict this statement. They say that they are not only interested in a person's physical

attributes, but also their inner qualities such as kindness and intelligence. For example, Marley a

thirteen year old talked about his girlfriend and said, "She's deep and has real emotions, she acts

like herself and doesn't act fake... I also love her eyes. I get lost in them." Josh a fourteen year
old stated that some of the things he loves about his girlfriend are, "Her attitude, her eyes, her

simile. Regardless of what people say about her, she's beautiful in my eyes." Also a thirteen year

old girl named Pricilla declared, "They have to be honest, respectful, down-to-earth, won't judge

me, and love me for who I am. I hate he guys that just want to 'hit it and quit' or want a girl with

all the looks, even though she might not be the nicest."

Studies show that most parents are against teens dating. There are many risk factors that

can affect young teens in relationships: abusive behaviors, sex, and emotional conflictions.

According to the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, 62% of teens who have been in

relationships know/experienced verbal abuse, and one in five teens in relationships have

experienced/know friends who have been physically abused by a romantic partner. These

statistics can be frightening for parents because they are very protective of their children and

don't want to see them get hurt, especially at a young age when they are still fragile and

developing. Statistics also show that 69% of teens who have had sex before the age of 14 are

more likely to experience abuse in their relationships. Furthermore, 7% of teens in a relationship

either threatened to kill a partner or commit suicide in order to stay together. According to

Rosario Gonzalez, "There's a double standard depending on a child's gender. Although this may

not sound fair, I strongly believe that females are fragile and need to be protected. Females hold

the key to everything, and a male will only get as far as the female will let him... Females have

more to lose." All of these factors are reasons why parents are afraid to let their teens commence

dating at such an early age.

Looking at this topic from an expert's opinion, psychologist and TV personality Dr. Phil

states, "Teenagers, especially younger pre-teens don't need to have boyfriends and girlfriends."
Data shows that approximately three in four teens say relationships commence around the age of

fourteen, and more than one and three pre-teens say they've been in a relationship. Dr. Phil

encourages parents to not allow teenagers to close their bedroom doors when someone of the

opposite sex is over, and to talk to teenagers more often so that they feel comfortable discussing

topics like love and sexuality. Experts also say that most romantic relationships in pre-teens last

up to 5 months; by the age of 16 average relationships last up to about 2 years. In addition, pre-

teen relationships can lead to problems because young children are just beginning to discover

who they really are, and being in a relationship can influence them to change their expectations/

priorities for school, act differently or change around people in order to impress the other partner.

Everyone has their own opinion and different ways of thinking about teen dating. Just

because children are young does not mean they do not understand what love is or how to express

it. Parents should be more understanding and supportive of young teens, but there should also be

boundaries set up. Some of these boundaries could consist of not allowing the child to date until

the age of sixteen so that they may become more mature, not allowing the couple to be home

alone with the bedroom door closed, and having a lot of trust and respect to encourage dialogue

between family members.

Natalie Gonzalez

Mrs. Gonaver

English CP {Block G}

1 December 2015

Works Cited

Caliborne, Liz. "Dating Violence." Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence. n.p., 2002-2015.

Web. 4, November, 2015.

Dr. Phil. "Parenting. Teens and Dating." Dr. Phil. Pestski Productions, Inc, 2015. Web. 4,

November, 2015.

"Your Thoughts on Falling in Love." Teens Health. Nemours, 1995-2015. Web. 4, November,

2015.