DIVORCE DEBATE (ANTI-DIVORCE)

OPENING STATEMENT: Divorce is not legalized in the Philippines (Article XV, Sec. 2 “Marriage, as an
inviolable social institution, is the foundation of the family and shall be protected by the State”). As such, it
is deemed immoral, what are your opinions about this?

TOPICS:
SACRED MATTERS
Divorce is immoral. It has been said “Divorce is like the destruction of a country”. And I hold that divorce
is certainly immoral in all but the rarest of cases.
Sometimes, in the case of marital infidelity, relationships can be restored. That’s not to say that all can.
Sometimes, in the case of domestic abuse, relationships can be restored. That’s not to say that all can.
But what in my mind is a greater immortality, is the lack of attempting to repair what was damaged. If
there is physical/emotional abuse, or if there is adultery, or even if there is only “we’ve fallen out of love” ,
divorce has become an “escape valve” used when it’s easier to “bail on difficulty” without actually
addressing the underlying issues, and taking steps to correct those underlying issues.
How can we, as a people, trust one another, when we - as a whole - don’t take marriage; meant to be one
man and one woman (Christian, remember?) joined together for life. Take away the Judeo-Christian
notions of marriage for a moment; I’m speaking of the sanctity of one’s commitment, and remaining true
to one’s own words. If you truly do mean “I love you forever”, then MEAN IT! Do whatever it takes not only
to deal with the difficult times, but be honest with yourself and fix your own issues while working on
repairing any harm in the relationship.

Divorce is immoral, but treating marriage is “no big deal” is also immoral. Why? Because marriage is the
means by which God describes His relationship with us: Loved; by choice; and eternal with no
exemptions.

Marriage is Sacred. It is now being argued that marriage is no better than any other type of relationship
and should not have a special status in law. It is said that marriage is just a piece of paper.
But this is not how God sees it. At the beginning of creation God spelled out the importance of marriage to
mankind when, after Eve was created for Adam, the Bible records: “For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”(Genesis 2:24). Marriage is a
creation ordinance and therefore God’s teaching on marriage and sex is relevant to the world as well as
to the church. Marriage is meant for the good of all people – not just Christians.

It is said in the bible that whosoever breaks the sacred statute of divorce will be committing
adultery.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.
He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF DIVORCE

The effects associated with divorce affect the couple's children in both the short and the long term. After
divorce the couple often experience effects including, decreased levels of happiness, change in economic
status, and emotional problems. Children may subsequently experience anger, depression, or even panic
attacks, unless their feelings are assuaged early on in the separation by each parent. A separation or
divorce can also affect the extended family of a marriage. In some cases, the family members of each
spouse may feel like they have to take sides. The parents may also commit suicide due to these factors.

Ten divorced men commit suicide each day — a rate at least three times higher than that of divorced
women. Divorced men drink and smoke more often; they engage in riskier sex, and are more likely to
avoid doctor visits and die of preventable and treatable diseases. Divorce effects on men’s psychological
and physical health can be summed up in a word: “bad.” If the man in question is a father, a better word
would be “horrible.”
LEGAL
The basis of the non-existence and disallowing is in the 1987 Philippine Constitution, which continues to
uphold the same in all preceding Philippine Constitutions:—
“Article 15. Marriage, as an inviolable social institution, is the foundation of the family and shall be
protected by the state.” — The Philippine Constitution, 1987, Section 2, Article 15.
The Philippine statutory interpretation of Article 15 is that divorce is disallowed because it doesn’t involve
a question of invalidity of the marriage itself but a termination based on a ground and/or intent that
occurred during the marriage.
The Philippine caselaw has repeatedly demonstrated and upheld the constitutional position of no divorce
available that:—
“Divorce between Filipinos is void and ineffectual under the nationality rule adopted by Philippine law”
(Soledad L. Lavadia vs. Heirs of Juan Luces Luna et al. GR No. 171914, July 23, 2014).
Since divorce is disallowed, marriages in the Philippines are not dissolved but made not to subsist via two
methods:—
1. Petitioning the Philippine Supreme Court for annulment of marriage — this court procedure is to
severe marital relations between the spouses by reason that the marriage is susceptible of being
voidable on the grounds provided by law
2. Petition for nullity of marriage — the court procedure is to declare the marriage void from the
outset because it is technically defective in law

As we can see, there is no divorce procedure since divorce is on a reason that arose during the marital
relationship. The two above have reasons that were (or deemed to be) in existence at the outset or
even before the marital relationship.

It is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. Most divorce advocates
gives emphasis on the growing children and women abuse. But I really do not see it as a solution for
these problems. In fact it extends to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and
problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases. And I believe that you will agree
with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family.
But why? Simply because people were given the so-called choice and chance to change while the fact is,
it is where the so-called “rights” is abused. It is where many people make use of the right and abuse it for
their own self-centered selfish quest for happiness and will only bring them to the same situation again
and again and again. That’s why you will see people divorced not just once, nor twice, but multiple times.

It gives a wider path to domestic problems. As I mentioned earlier this right has proven to be easily
abused. And we are not actually giving people a solution to their problems, but a chance to repeat the
same mistakes. Divorce is like a medicine… but an unrecommended one.
For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then
just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will
just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce.
Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.
It gives a wider path for immorality and marital infidelity. Immorality. I guess this is not so much “in”
nowadays. It’s something that most people don’t want to talk about except those that are of the religious
sectors and religious people. I hate to say this but the Philippines have a steep moral degradation and
that is why most of these divorce proponents put forward a SILLY SOLUTION for various problems.
Did we not learn from the US? Did the stats of violence against women and children dropped by the use
of divorce law? We talk much about the positive things that we can get from the divorce law, while the
negative effects far out weighs the positive.

1. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce.

2. In 1991, only 50.8% of American children were living with a mother and a father. The numbers have
worsened since that study.

3. Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.

4. The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood.
By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.
5. Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent
families.

6. Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with
children.

7. Children from disrupted marriages experience greater risk of injury, asthma, headaches, and speech
defects than children from intact families.

8. Suicide rates for children of divorce are measurably higher than for children from intact families.

Source: https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/ and luannadams.com/blog/the-side-

effects-of-divorce/

If the criteria for granting a divorce are well thought of and strict, those applying for divorce can
be forewarned that they must have a truly valid case to pursue its filing. Would this be another
convincing reason for legalizing divorce?
Most countries where divorce is legal have now gone a step further down by accepting what is called a
“no fault divorce”. This means that couples do not need a valid or compelling reason to separate; only a
simple agreement to end the marriage is enough. This paves the way for flimsy excuses (or none) to be
legal grounds for ending a marriage. The petitioner for divorce could cite “irreconcilable differences”
without having to validate

Divorce advocates argue that it is a solution to failed, if not oppressive and dehumanizing unions.
Shouldn’t divorce be a consideration to properly address this and other irreconcilable differences
between married couples?
If a spouse proves not only to be overbearing but also abusive and cruel, or if there are situations in which
living together becomes practically impossible, there are sufficient provisions in the Family Code that
provide for legal separation of the spouses. In some cases, there is even annulment of voidable
marriages. There are also salutary provisions in Republic Act No. 9262 (An Act defining Violence against
Women and their Children, providing for protective measures for victims, prescribing penalties therefore,
and for other purposes) for the protection of women and their children. Legal Separation may be the only
recourse to ensure not only the legal rights and care of the children but also spousal support, visitation
rights, etc.
Divorce must NEVER be considered. There is no difficult situation that cannot be addressed in an
adequate way. Many difficult situations are worsened by the stubborn and blind passions of hate or
indecisions caused by infidelity or an unmentioned third party. Behind most divorces in the West is an
untold story of irretrievable loss and betrayal by one or the other. The marriage fails because one or the
other party wanted it to fail.

But divorce advocates insist that everyone deserves to have another chance to be happy or at
least have the right to re-marry. Why not?
This argument is incorrect. There is NO GUARANTEE that the next union will be happy and successful. In
fact, studies in the U. S. prove that first marriages are the ones that really last and remarriages ultimately
fail. See “The High Failure Rate of Second and Third Marriages”
If legal separation, annulment and declarations of nullity are juridical options which are already available,
why would one want a divorce that will ultimately hurt the family and damage society? Difficult marriages
can be repaired. There are programs that couples can attend to help them out. Besides divorce being
costly, it becomes an easy way out, a way to end a marriage in order to remarry or to start a new life
without the burden of a family.

How costly is divorce?

Church laws are against divorce and Civil laws should not favor divorce. If we speak here of financial
costs, yes, it is costly for not everyone will be able to afford it.
In addition, having another family will mean more expenses to support both families. The effects of
divorce are not limited to the incremental financial expenses. Studies have shown the destructive
consequences of divorce: the devastating emotional and psychological effects on the separating spouses
and the children. The children of divorce will become the parents of tomorrow. They may also fail to
prioritize the strength of their families.

But these are more of an exception and it affects only certain cases. The granting of divorce may
even be simpler and cheaper in the long run, isn’t it?
Divorce also damages the stability and unity of the family, which is the most enduring human institution,
honored and encouraged in all cultures and by every religious faith.
If proponents of divorce claim that this will be cheaper than other legal options, they should instead
encourage the Government to make the present options more affordable.
Couples may try to convince themselves that it is a simple matter and that everything will end in a
peaceful and amicable way. Unspoken and undefined, but clearly evident, are the layers of pain and hurt
underneath that falsely “calm” façade of most of those undergoing divorce. You can’t just commit your life
to a person and then let it go. Divorce causes trauma to the abandoned spouse and unspoken pain to the
departing spouse, however indifferent he or she may pretend to be.
Couples, who fail to patch up their differences, blame each other and then choose to separate.
Separation and divorce adversely affect children’s values system as well as their emotional growth. When
children were involved, social studies have shown that divorce was a life-changing, negative experience
that altered their childhood, adolescence and adulthood. In addition, divorce increased problems
associated with a missing parent or parents — juvenile delinquency, lying, criminality, and school dropout.
Some effects can be staggering like drugs and even suicide!

A recent survey showed 60 percent of Filipinos want divorce made legal. Why does the Catholic
Church still insist on not legalizing what most Filipinos (including their flock) are urging them to
do?
The Catholic Church cannot conform her teachings on preferences that are suggested by surveys, most
of which are emotionally driven and difficult to translate to relevant actions. The sanctity of marriage is
embodied in the moral code that is eternal and immutable. The Church, in objecting to legalize divorce, is
reiterating a position she has held since the time of Christ. The Church doctrine on divorce is
unchangeable because it is a Divine Law. Those in favor of divorce and re-marriage are effectively
claiming human laws are superior to God’s laws.

What do you think are reasons why marriages fail to work?

There are many possible reasons, and foremost is the lack of preparation. Most couples whose marriages
failed have entered into it impulsively or for the wrong reasons. An example is when the marriage begins
because the girlfriend has become pregnant before marriage or when the couple makes a hasty decision
based on physical attraction.
While attraction may have resulted in dating, it must develop into a commitment, a covenant, something
spiritual. Pleasure without commitment is not love at all. Human love should become conjugal love, the
characteristic of which is complimentarity, a convergence of aspirations and dreams. Divorce is a betrayal
of love. This is precisely why it is important for children to learn fidelity and commitment from their own
parents’ marriage.

11. Is this the only reason for what is termed as failure in marriage?
A common reason for married couples who suddenly consider divorce is selfishness of one or the other.
Selfishness to appreciate that everyone changes through the years and to make allowances for it.
Selfishness to depreciate a spouse who has less education or a spouse whom one believes he or she
has outgrown and is no longer “suitable” for his or her professional or intellectual life.
Another reason is that many couples do not work to keep their marriage alive, engaging and worthwhile.
After a time, they take each other for granted. They no longer ensure their best manners for their
spouses. Indifference leads to lack of respect and eventually one or the other “falls out of love.” While
there is something stable in marriage and love, maybe those whose marriages “failed” did not nurture and
attend to this love every single day of their married life.

ANNULMENT vs DIVORCE vs LEGAL SEPERATION

An annulment of marriage is a legal decree that a marriage is null and void. Annulments are granted
when a court makes a finding a marriage is invalid. While a divorce ends a legally valid marriage, an
annulment treats the marriage as if it never existed.
Divorce is an entirely different matter.

It seeks to CUT marriage off, for reasons other than requirements not being met, like, "irreconcilable
differences". There should be no problem with it, as it seeks to improve a person's life by ridding him of
despair from a failed marriage.

However, it has a fundamental moral flaw: anyone who performs divorce should be considered
untrustworthy.

Marriage is contractual, as evidenced by the signed papers and the vows before a judge/religious leader.
In business, people who can't fulfill contracts are deemed untrustworthy, that much is true. You can
cancel a contract, as a client, or as an entrepreneur, but would you still make deals with each other after
being unable to fulfill a contract? A contract is a strong bind, you know. Naturally, you wouldn't want to.
Your trust for the client/firm would drop significantly.

Same goes for people who divorce. "But I didn't know he was like that!", "But he changed so much these
past few years!" What happened to "for better or for worse"? That's just irresponsible.

BASICALLY…
Legal separation allows the parties to live separately, but the marriage is not dissolved and neither party
can contract marriage with a new partner.
Civil Annulment recognizes the existence of a marriage until the time it is invalidated. The consent of one
or both parties to the marriage must be proven to be faulty at the time of the exchange of vows. After an
annulment, parties are restored to their single status.
Declaration of nullity means that there was no valid marriage at all in the first place. The parties could
remarry afterwards because they have, technically, never been married.

A legal separation is a judicially recognized separation between spouses. A legal separation does not end
the marriage and both spouses are prohibited from remarrying or entering into a domestic partnership
with another person. Simply living apart or agreeing to separate for a period of time does not constitute a
legal separation in most states. However, some states consider the date of permanent separation, rather
than the date of legal separation, when determining the length of the marriage for purposes of dividing
marital assets.

ALIMONY
Alimony will be awarded only when a former spouse is unable to meet his or her needs without financial
assistance from a spouse who can afford to pay it. The basic idea behind alimony is that when your
marriage ends, you both should be able to go on living as you were before the divorce. If you make all or
most of the money, you would probably have to share that income with your spouse. It is
disadvantageous as it is hard to defend the position that one spouse should end up living better than
during the marriage and one should be much worse off.

If you didn't, your standard of living would rise considerably above the one you enjoyed while married,
and your spouse's would drop below. maintain the standard of living of the marriage or share equally in
the decline in the standard of living. In most divorces, neither spouse maintains the same standard of
living they had before the divorce. It costs more to run two households than one. Unless there is an
increase in income after the divorce, both spouses will be worse off than they were before.

SOCIETY AND DIVORCE

Divorce seems to be more socially acceptable nowadays and is also the most common issue in the
modern world. With the increase rate of divorce, the pace of emotional instability and crime rate is also
quickening. Its effect on the family life, interference in the development of the children an crime is
obvious.

It is divorce that has an impact on not only their families but also their own children. And children are likely
to be the most painful victims in this battle. It effects on both their feelings and minds. Some kids tend to
stay away from any kind of social interaction and soon become immersed in their sadness. This makes
them very fearful and worried by nature.
Moreover, there are times when children feel so much anger because of divorce that they resort to
committing crimes and taking drugs to overcome this anger. Hence, such children have higher chances of
becoming delinquents. Many children are not able to concentrate on their studies during the time of
divorce. The circumstances surrounding divorce may make it hard for the child to focus on academic
goals. Children are bound to lose their self-confidence in such cases and may not want to study at all.

Most peple think that there is nothing positive about divorce as the negative effects are more obvious and
talked about. Divorce can be a positive thing when the marriage is in high conflict and the children are
exposed to be in an environment where they see a lack of respect and trust. Often when the child has
been a victim of domestic violence then that child will grow up disliking societies' vices. That is surely a
positive side.

In conclusion, it is high time now that the society must do something to preserve the sanctity of marriage.
For of the pace divorce continues to increase at such an alarming rate, then the society itself would be
adulterated. And people would lose faith in the stability of love, marriage and long lasting relaionships.
And life would be far more stressful than it is now.

1. Divorce hurts you

Some of the consequences include the frequent anger and resentment that may linger for years and
deeply affect your life including emotional scars that may never go away. Then, there is the likelihood you
will experience a lower standard of living, diminished social interaction and issues with self-esteem
following separation and divorce that can be very hard to restore.

2. Divorce hurts those around you

Divorce hurts your children, and your family and friends, who are often forced to take sides.

3. Being single again isn’t necessarily going to be the good life

Finding that ideal partner might likely turn into an impossibility or yet another failed relationship.

4. Staying married and working on your marital issues could be your best choice
You may want to work on your marriage instead of disrupting your life and starting all over. Unless there
are issues that are points of no return such as abuse and neglect, there is likely something to hold on to
and build on.

Yet, how can there be hope for a marriage where there are issues that might include poor communication,
loss of love, no mutual interests, constant arguing or fighting, even infidelity?

A starting point is to go back to the beginning and ask yourself what it was that first attracted you to your
spouse and how you felt in the beginning. Make a list of your spouse’s good qualities and why you admire
these. Also, make a list of the good aspects of your marriage in the past and present. (Your partner
should do the same.) It just might be that by remembering the good in the past and what still is good, you
have something to build on. Start thinking of your marriage in positive terms rather than negative.