Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Things that are upsetting to my spouse seem like no big deal to me.
I would rather work on a project than sit and have a long conversation.
I need my space in relationships and feel annoyed if someone wants to be with me a lot.
I feel uncomfortable when someone is very emotional, especially if I think I am supposed to help.
I rarely cry.
Score:__________
Section 2
When someone requests my help, I have trouble saying no, so I sometimes find my self-overcommitted
and stressed.
I had a very critical (and/or angry) parent, and I tried very hard to win their approval.
I had a parent that never stood up for himself or herself and passively accepted poor treatment.
When I sense others are distancing, I try harder to win them back.
Score:__________
Section 3
I was instantly attracted to my spouse, and our early relationship was intense and passionate.
I hope for more in my relationships and am often disappointed as time moves on.
I could describe many examples of how my spouse has hurt and disappointed me.
Sometimes I find myself picking fights, and I’m really not sure why.
I make it obvious when I’m hurt, and it makes it worse when my spouse does not pursue me and ask
what’s wrong.
It seems like I end up waiting for my partner to be available and pay attention to me.
Score:__________
Section 4
I have to keep my mate from knowing certain things because he or she would be angry.
Others say I’m in an abusive relationship, but I don’t think it’s that bad.
I was physically, emotionally, or sexually abused during my childhood or observed these things
happening to others.
I get nervous when things are calm because I know it won’t last and I’m waiting for my spouse to get
angry or critical.
Score:_________
Section 5
Growing up, I had an angry parent (or sibling) who threatened me, intimidated me, and/or was violent
toward me.
I feel angry when other people try to control me or tell me what to do.
I lose my temper a lot, especially at home, but my spouse (or kid) deserves it.
By the time I was a teenager, people knew not to mess with me.
By the time I left home, some family members were afraid of me.
Score:__________