Secrets

By: Alysha Dugan

Chapter 1

I tore though the branches, running as fast as I could. My heart pounded like a million

drums, all beating at the same time. Tears streamed out of my eyes, hot and salty. As the

sky flashed, I continued in my run. I didn’t dare stop. Rain poured down, soaking my

head. The hard ground melted away, mud splashing up in every direction as I ran. It

squished in between be toes and hit my face. Branches slapped my hard on the face, cut

my arms. I slipped, and fell. I let out a chocked scream as I landed with a thud.

I didn’t bother getting up. It felt like every bone in my body had shattered. I lay there,

mud oozing over my body. I cried though that storm, just like I cried though every other.

A dark feeling crept over my body, consuming it. A shiver ran down my spin. I knew this

feeling. I pushed at it, willing it to go away, leave me alone. But it didn’t.

The last thing I remember was a blinding bright light staining the sky. Then everything

went black.

I wish I could put all the words on paper. Write all my feelings across its vast blankness.

But no words come. My feelings can’t seem to be expressed. They are bottled up

somewhere inside of me, just waiting to explode.

It was that night that they finally had.

I had tried writing songs, poems, stories about my life. None worked. I just shoved the

feelings back, and create new ones. Feelings that don’t belong to me, rather, a character

in a story. Someone with problems so much worse than mine.

The only problem is, all those stories end with a happy ending. When I try to write about

my life, that doesn’t happen. I’m faced with a dead end, a sad end.

And this ending, I can’t go back and rewrite.

Maybe they think I’m crazy. Maybe they think I’m not like them. Maybe I’m not.

This is why they put me in a school for special girls.

Walking up to the boarding school, I looked up at the tall gates that surrounded it. I

wondered why they were there. When I asked, no one would tell me. I watched the lady

who led me here open the gate and push me in. I grip my bag tightly as I walk up the big

old steps to the building.

It sat on hard, dry earth. The school was made of white stone, with two levels and a big

old door. The door was wooden and round. As I walked up to it, I noticed it had more

than one lock on it. The lady pushed me aside and inserted her lock. It clicked softly, just

loud enough for me to hear. The door swung open and I was whisked into a huge room.

A chandelier hung from the ceiling, covered in crystals and lights. A grand stairway led

up to the second floor. Doorways and windows covered the walls, and there was a stone

fountain that had stopped squirting water. Right in the middle of the room, there was a

desk.

As we approached the desk, my stomach flipped. I swallowed hard and made sure to

remain silent as the lady who led me here began to speak.

“I have Christy Turner here. Thirteen, suicidal attempt.” The lady spoke with a deep

voice, checking a stack of paper as she read off the names of my family. I didn’t like it

that they knew so much.

I couldn’t see over the desk, but someone must have been there, because they said
something in response.

Then thee lady was pushing me up the stairs again. I took every step extra carefully, half

expecting a trap door to open up the second I put my foot down. I was relieved when we

reached the end of the stairs, and I could step out into a hallway. It was long and straight.

There were no lights, and walking down it, I felt as if all the air had been sucked out.

The lady stopped in front of a door at the very end of the hallway. She looked down at me

with lazy, tired eyes. “This is your room.” She said plainly. “Unpack, then come down for

dinner when the bell rings.”

I opened my mouth to ask what she meant by ‘the bell’, but she had already turned, and

was heading down the hallway.

I turned back to face the door, and took a deep breath. My hand gripped the metal handle

and pushed with all her might. The door cracked and fell open. I stumbled then stepped

inside.

There were three girls kneeling on the floor. Each had looked up in surprise at the door

opening. I waved at them and did my best to smile. Each girl looked me over, then slowly

turned back to whatever they were doing. I swallowed and looked down at my bags. I

picked them up and piled them onto the open bed. It was small, and the mattress was thin.

There was a tiny window by the bed, and a storage rack underneath it. No pillow, one

small blanket.

I sighed and started to unpack. As I lifted out my pants, something slid out. My notebook.

I almost screamed with joy. I flipped it open and read to myself.

Lydia crossed the woods, turning to make sure he wasn’t following. Once she came to the

river, she untwisted the scarf that held her wings to her body and let them fly up to their
spot on her back. She flapped them twice, then jumped into the air, forgetting everything

around her.

She flew higher and higher, then spun in the air, and dropped. Wind rushed past her face,

pulling her hair back. What she wouldn’t give to have this feeling day and night. All she

wanted was to fly.

She turned again, and glided on her side, letting the world fly past her. She spun once

more and—

Ding! Ding! Ding! Something screamed in my ear. I gasped and ducked, my notebook

falling to the ground. Laughter rang out. I stuck one eye out and looked at the girls. They

were all laughing and pointing at me. She turned to look up at where the sound had come

from. It was a giant speaker right above my head.

I looked down at my feet as the girls continued to laugh, tears gathering in my eyes. I

didn’t know. Soon they all left. I stayed. I knew that was the bell. I knew I was supposed

to go.

I picked up my notebook and leaned against the wall. I opened it back up and began to

read again.

This is my problem. I keep the feelings inside, and slip away into another world. One that

I can control. I am the narrator of this book. I am not the narrator of my life.

______________________________________________-

“Where have you been this past month?” I asked, putting my shirt on the dresser.

“I think I’m in love.” Symone said, walking over to sit on my bed.

“With Who?”
 “Ryan Patterson. We met in Art class because I had ran out of blue paint so I

asked him and…I don’t know. We sort of just clicked.” She sighed happily, as she walked

over towards the door. Meeting her gaze through the full-length mirror she stood in front

of, Symone grinned like there was no tomorrow.

I hate Valentine's.

“This is a bad time for me to be running late,” Angie Miller muttered to herself .I hate

being sick “I have twenty minutes to make it to the wedding.” It was a 15 minutes drive

with light traffic but today it was everything but light.

I broke every traffic law it was. Praying that Chicago finest was not there to see it. I make

it with only minutes to the wedding. Walking very fast not wanting to be late. I walk to

the back praying I am not late and have enough time to see Jacob Times the groom. Seem

like the Lord heard my pray because standing in the back alone is the one and only Jacob,

looking handsome in his tuxedo. Jacob is muttering to himself, I do not know what he

saying because he is speaking very low. I guess he hears me coming and up to me in

shock.

“Hi Jacob” I said with a nervous smile

“What you doing here” Jacob said with a frown

“To see you” I said “and to tell you can’t marry her” this time I have the frown my face

“Why not I love her and want to spend the rest of life with her”

“You don’t love her”

“How in hell you know what I feel.”

“Because last week you were at my house making love to me and telling me you love me.
How in the hell you love her.”

“Because I do and-

I didn’t let him finish what he was going to say I start to beg. I bet you do the same thing

if you if you found out two days ago the man you love, the love of your life is set to get

marry, but not to you.

I guess I should start from where we met. I met Jacob in store parking lot I had trouble

with my bags. I was thinking I was superwoman and carrying eight bags (very heavy) by

myself. I guess he saw me and came to help me. I was startle when I hear a deep and sexy

voice “here let me help you with that”. I look up to see the most gorgeous man in the

world. I was not joking he was a round 6’3 with curly brown hair, deep beautiful gray

eyes, and with caramel skin. “Pardon me “I said a startle a bit. “Let me help you

beautiful”. I blush at the comment. I guess you can say I am beautiful. I’m 5’11 with no

shoes with deep green eyes, with long curly hair, with deep brown skin, and dimples, I

wear a 14/16 in clothes. Some people call me plus-size but I call myself right. I believe

not everyone is meant to be a size two you have to love yourself no matter what size you

are.

I was more than happy to give him my bags. I was slowly losing feelings in my hands.

“Hi, my name is Jacob,” he said, “nice to meet you Jacob, my name is Angie. Thanks for

helping with bags I was starting to lose feeling in my hands”. I said with a smile. “I try

my hardest to save all young lady and they hands,” he said while I laugh .We were at the

car now. I open the truck he place the bags in the car. I close the truck and turn to him. He

was looking at me smiling. “What cha lookin’ at Jacob? I said in my best Gary Coleman

voice. That was the start of our relationship. He was my first everything, first boyfriend,
first kiss, First lover, and now the first man to break my heart.

“Please Jacob I love you. You told me you love me. We been together for a year and you

going to throw it down drain for some woman you don’t know. I will get on knees and

beg if you want me to.”

Not caring who or what can hear and see me. I need him. I love him too much to let her

win him. She doesn’t love him she loves his money. I just found out about her but she

can’t love him as much as I do. It had to be the money and I heard rumors about her

saying she all about the money. Times are one of the richest families in the Midwest. At

the time I met him I didn’t know but when I found out it didn’t matter it me. I know what

you thinking how can you not know that your boyfriend was rich. Jacob has very simple

taste. He did not a big fancy car, or lives in the richest neighborhood.

“No. I want you to leave “Jacob said in an angry whisper

“Please I do anything,” I said the tears are very bad now and I didn’t care. I guess he took

pity on me because he said. “Give me one good reason not to marry Nicole?”

“I’m pregnant”

I kissed her softly as I brushed the hair out of her eyes “Well babe it's not a dream and I

love you so much.”

College: Freshmen

“I know.” I stroked my fingertips across her beautiful skin. “How do you

feel? Did you like it?”
“Yes, I loved it.” She smiled. “I love making love to you.”
“It didn’t hurt?”
“A little, but I hardly noticed after a while. Did you like it? Did it live up
to your expectations?”
“Yes, it exceeded them all. Not just because of what it felt like, but the
feeling it gave me, you know what I mean? It was wonderful.”
I smiled.
“I’m glad. I want to please you in every way.”
“You do please me, in every way. You please me with your love and
your beauty, you satisfy my soul and my body. You make me so happy.”
he kissed me. “I’m so happy to be your wife.”
“I love you, my wife.” Shane smiled and looked into my eyes.
“You wanna do it again?”
I laughed. “Okay.”
I slept, my head on his shoulder, my leg curled over his. He gently
stroked my lower back and hip with his fingertips. I became lost in
contented bliss, letting all the happiness flow over me.

He stepped back and started to dig around in his pocket. I stood there confused as he

pulled out a small velvet box and got down on one knee. My confusion soon turned to

shock. His vivid green eyes staring back at mine.

“Nadine, for four years and eight months from today, I met you and I knew you

were the one that I wanted to be with, the one that I could to raise a family with, the one I

would want to grow old with. I know we’ve had our ups and downs since then, but now I

realize I never want to lose you. So I’m asking this question truly from the bottom of my

heart and soul.”

Five

Will you marry me?”

Four

I stared at him with tears in my eyes. I half-laughed, half-sobbed. "Yes!" I cried. "Oh,

Shane, of course I will marry you. I love you so, so much, too. I love you."

Three

Shane smiled and took the ring out of the box, slipping it on my left ring finger.

Two
I looked at the

“I love you Nadine.”

“I love you too, Shane.”

One

“Happy new year, baby.”

“Happy new year.”

High School: Senior

Nadine's parents upset her holiday plans by surprising her with a Thanksgiving visit that
results in a tense dinner at Maisonette. Among the dinner guests are Felicity's new beau,
David, and his mother, Prof. Sherman. Nadine's parents come for a visit, and reveal some
unexpected news: they are in the process of separating, which devastates Nadine.

An occasion four years in the making, graduation day arrives for Nadine. But the
occasion competes with Noah's marriage proposal. Both momentous events should be
thrilling milestones, were it not for Nadine's uncertain professional future, her (Charisma
disapprove) parents' disapproval of the engagement and the birth of the child her new
fiancé fathered with another woman. Commencement, it would seem, is the least of
Nadine's concerns. With Noah dedicated to living near his son in Arizona, Nadine faces a
heartbreaking dilemma - follow Noah across the country, or live her own life, alone.

Nadine is having weird dreams about Shane that make her realize she wants him back.
She magically traveled back in time to secure her romantic future with Shane, rather than

Noah. The new pairing does come to pass, but Noah senses the forced nature of their

relationship. And, despite knowing that Shane will cheat on her, Nadine can't deny her

feelings for him. Which one is the man for her? The question the story has posed time

and again is finally answered as Nadine finally chooses Shane in her alternate future,

making her wake up from a fevered sleep in the present on the day of her and Noah's

wedding, only to tell present Shane that he is the one she wants to be with. (Shane
manages to catch Nadine in time to tell her he wants to get back together. Nadine

embraces the idea without hesitation.) First, Seth learns that perhaps breaking up with

Mandy in order to be with Jocelyn was not the best idea. Mandy and Seth reconcile. Ryan

gets for an promise ring for Symone. And the story comes full circle as the friends

celebrate at Shane and Nadine's reception.