Forged into an Adult

There is this idea of being forged in the fire of misfortune that has appealed to me

recently. Those who are able to achieve greatness through adversity are my role models. My

parents divorced when I was eight years old, and I have found that growing up started at a young

age. I vaguely remember what it was like to have a nuclear family unit when my parents were

together. Going to each of their houses every other week had its toll on me. Even at this point in

my upbringing I was able to overcome the desire to be a victim and learn to be more dependent

on myself than my parents.

Growing up, I knew there was something wrong with my mom mentally. I learned when I

was older that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When I understood what that was it

made sense that my mom wasn’t fit to take care of me full time, and my mom and dad went to

court fighting for custody of me. In the end I had as much to say in the verdict as they did.

Choosing to be with my Dad was hard, especially being away from my mom for so long.

However, that was one important decision that I had to make. This was an example on how I had

to “adult” at such a young age.

Of course I had my older siblings, so they helped me make decisions too. My sophomore

year of high school, my dad had full custody of me but fell ill. He was diagnosed with stage 4

bladder cancer my seventh grade year and was seemingly cured. With chemotherapy, radiation

and one big surgery, he recovered until the summer before my sophomore year of high

school. My brother took care of me as my dad was in and out of the hospital through the

summer. Eventually, we learned that my dad wasn’t able to survive anymore. A combination of
returning cancer and several strokes proved too much for him. He was my best friend, and I felt

so alone. I felt like an adult. This was the second moment in my life where I could take matters

into my own hands. I could choose to live with either my mom or older brother because my

dad’s wishes were for my brother to take care of me if anything happened to him.

My mom had been doing well at this point in time so I was considering living with her. I

remembered how stressed my mom got when she took care of me full time so I decided to live

with my brother. My mom and brother began court proceedings for who would have custody of

me until finally, I told her to stop and that I wanted to live with my brother. She respected that

and now we are closer than ever.

There are decisions in a person’s life that are hard but have to be done. Fire is often hot

enough to melt steel and resolve can be just as powerful to overcoming any obstacle life throws

our way. All of the circumstances that I have been faced with during my lifetime have forged me

into the person I am today. Although some are unpleasant, there are good ones too. I have grown

as a student, sister and friend. Adulting at such a young age has given me a different outlook on

life; it has taught me accept the heat and be forged in fire.