PAULA

He's still sleeping on the couch?! It's been three weeks!

REBECCA
Well, exactly, our relationship is new.

PAULA
Yeah, okay, but he's not sleeping in your bed and he's-he's not telling anyone
you're together.

REBECCA
Of course he's not telling anyone. I'm not telling anyone we're together.
PAULA
Cookie, you-you have to admit it. I mean, you just, you really screwed things
up with Josh. The second that you told him you moved here for him,(imitates
explosion) Game over.

REBECCA
No, no, no, no. You keep saying that, but I fixed it that night. I fixed it on the
way home with Josh, remember? I made Josh feel like he was the one
pushing me into a commitment. I mean, it was a brilliant argument.
PAULA
Brilliant rhetoric, but if it had actually worked, he'd be sleeping in your bed
right now and he's not. Honey, he's just there for the sex. He's exploiting you.
He's he's effsploiting you. (gasps) He's effspl--oh, that's that's really good. I
just came up with that. I should monetize that.

REBECCA
Paula, he's not effsploiting me. If anything, he's, um respeffing me. Yes. He's
respeffing the hell out of me.

PAULA
Face it, Rebecca. What you've got with Josh is an Airbnb with benefits.

REBECCA
What's wrong, Paula? It's like you don't even believe in me and Josh
anymore. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. You don't?

PAULA
I used to think that you two had destiny on your side. I really did.

REBECCA
Paula!
PAULA

I mean, I hate to say it, but I just I don't think Josh cares about you the way
you want him to. I thought you were a great romance and, you know what,
maybe I was wrong.

REBECCA
No, he loves me! He loves me! Listen. Let me tell you something, when we
make love the way he looks into my eyes without blinking, the way he-he
holds me in his arms. I know it. I know he feels the same way. And, hello, this
morning he-he made a massive commitment to me.
PAULA
Oh! What?

REBECCA
It's the drawer, Paula, he has a drawer at my place. I mean, don't you see
what the drawer means?

PAULA
Yes. I do. It means you're ducking a homeless man.

REBECCA
No. You're wrong. Because he loves me.