Bar and Bas Mitzvah

By Rabbi Joshua Flug

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I. Introduction-This shiur outline is part of the life cycles series. We will present an
overview of the discussions relating to bar and bas mitzvahs.
II. Talmudic Discussions about the Concept of Bar Mitzvah:
a. The Mishna in Avos states that the age of thirteen is the age of mitzvos. {}
b. The Midrash states that a parent must take care of his child until the age of thirteen.
Once the child reaches the age of thirteen he recites "‫ברוך שפטרני מענשו של זה‬." {}
c. The verse in Shir HaShirim states that one should look at the crown that Shlomo's
mother gave him on the day of his wedding, the day of gladness in his heart. {}
i. The Zohar comments on this verse that the day of his wedding really refers to
the day that he turned thirteen because that day is a day of great celebration
like a wedding day. {}
1. R. Ya'akov Chaim Sofer (1870-1939) comments that the Zohar is
teaching that the day of the bar mitzvah is the day one connects with
his neshamah and that is why we have a seudas mitzvah and divrei
Torah. {}
ii. R. Moshe Sofer (1762-1839) notes that the verse (according to the Zohar)
seems to highlight the fact that the simcha is the mother's simcha. He explains
that the father's simcha is incomplete because it also represents a loss on his
part as he is now exempt from the mitzvah of chinuch for this child. [This
assumes that only the father is obligated in the mitzvah of chinuch. {} This
discussion was addressed in the shiur outline on chinuch.]
d. The Gemara quotes R. Yosef, who was blind, who said that initially he thought that if
someone would tell him that the halacha follows R. Yehuda, that blind people are
exempt from mitzvos, he would make a seudah because he observes mitzvos even
though he is exempt. Now that R. Chaninah has taught that one who is commanded
to perform gets more reward for fulfilling a mitzvah than one is not commanded, he
will make a seudah for someone who tells him that the halacha is that a blind person
is obligated to perform mitzvos. {}
i. R. Shlomo Luria (1510-1574) writes that this Gemara is a source for
celebrating a bar mitzvah. If R. Yosef was prepared to celebrate finding out
that he was obligated to perform mitzvos, certainly one should celebrate
actually becoming a bar mitzvah. {}
e. Other ideas relevant to this discussion
i. R. Malkiel Tannenbaum (19th century) writes that there are two celebrations at
the bar mitzvah: {}
1. The father's exemption from being responsible for his child.
2. The child's new obligation to observe mitzvos.
 ii. R. Chaim ben Atar (1696-1743) writes that it is not only the father that
receives an exemption. Sometimes a child can be punished for the actions of
a parent. When the child reaches bar mitzvah that can no longer happen. This
is how he understands the beracha of Baruch Shep'tarani. {}
iii. R. Moshe Sofer writes that the day of the bar mitzvah is comparable to Matan
Torah in that both were days of taking on the yoke mitzvos. This is why the
Torah doesn't explicitly mention bar mitzvah. The Torah doesn't mention
Shavuos as a day of celebrating Matan Torah because the Torah can't
command the celebration of taking on the yoke of mitzvos. It must come
from one's own desire to celebrate. Similarly, the celebration of a bar mitzvah
must come from the child's desire to celebrate taking on the yoke of mitzvos.
{}
III. When Should One Celebrate the Bar/Bas Mitzvah?
a. Ritva (1250-1330) quotes a dispute as to whether the bar mitzvah is calculated by
hours or by days (i.e. if a child was born on Rosh HaShanah morning at 11am, is does
he become a bar mitzvah on Rosh HaShanah at 11am or when Rosh HaShanah
begins?). {}
b. Shulchan Aruch rules that one becomes bar mitzvah at the age of thirteen years and
one day. {}
i. This is the source for the common misconception that one does not become a
bar mitzvah until the day after one's Hebrew birthday (one must be thirteen
years plus one day old). In reality, Mishna Berurah writes that as soon as
one's thirteenth Hebrew birthday begins, one is a bar mitzvah. {}
c. The Leap Year Conundrum
i. R. Yehuda ben Ya'akov Landa (d. 1493) has a list of riddles at the end of his
Sefer Ha'Agur. The first riddle involves two children, A is born earlier than
B, yet B becomes a bar mitzvah almost a month before A. He writes that this
occurs in a situation where they were born in a leap year. A was born at the
end of Adar Rishon and B was born at beginning of Adar Sheni. Thirteen
years later, if there is no leap year, B's bar mitzvah will be at the beginning of
the month and A's at the end of the month. {}
1. This idea is codified in Shulchan Aruch. {}
2. Rama (1520-1572) adds that if someone was born in Adar of a regular
year and the bar mitzvah year is a leap year, the bar mitzvah does not
take place until Adar Sheni.
d. Should the Bar Mitzvah be celebrated on that day?
i. Rama seems to imply that the beracha of Baruch Shep'tarani should be recited
on the thirteenth birthday. {}
 1. R. Avraham Gombiner (c.1633-1683) writes that the minhag is to wait
until the bar mitzvah boy leads the tefillah or performs some other
public function because that's when it is known that he is of age. {}
2. R. Shlomo Luria writes that in reality, a child does not become bar
mitzvah until he displays physical signs of maturity. That would be
the only day to celebrate. The fact that a chazakah exists that allows
us to treat him like an adult is not a cause for celebration. However, if
the bar mitzvah boy says a d'var Torah, it is no different than any other
seudas mitzvah. {}
3. R. Malkiel Tannenbaum disagrees with R. Luria and maintains that a
seudas mitzvah does not have to be observed on the same day as the
event. {}
IV. What Does a Bar Mitzvah Celebration Involve?
a. Maharil (c. 1365-1427) alludes to the minhag that the bar mitzvah boy reads the
Torah. {}
i. This is recorded as a minhag of Worms in the 17th century. {}
b. The Beracha of Baruch Shep'tarani
i. Maharil recited the beracha with use of Shem HaShem. {}
ii. Rama writes that one should not use Shem HaShem. {}
c. Maseches Semachos records a practice of throwing non-perishable food items during
a wedding celebration. This practice has been adopted in some communities during
bar mitzvah celebrations. {}
d. The seudah and the derasha were already discussed.
V. The age of thirteen vs. physical signs of maturity
a. The Gemara notes that the significance of thirteen years is that the physical signs of
maturity are not significant before then. They are only significant after thirteen years
old. However, without the physical signs, he is not considered a bar mitzvah. {}
b. Rabbeinu Asher (c. 1250-1327) writes the age of thirteen for maturity is Halacha
L'Moshe M'Sinai. {}
c. R. Yosef Trani (Maharit, 1538-1639) writes that the simanim of physical maturity are
simply signs and not the cause of becoming a bar mitzvah. There are some who
never experience those signs and we assume that they were bar mitzvah from the age
of thirteen. {}
d. The Gemara notes that there is a presumption that when a child reaches the age of
thirteen, he is considered to have the physical signs of maturity, even if he wasn't
 checked. This is known as chazakah d'Rava (after Rava, the author of the statement).
However, the Gemara notes that it does not work for all areas of Halacha. {}
i. Mishna Berurah notes that we only rely on chazakah d'Rava for issues
involving dinim d'rabanan. However, for issues involving dinim d'oraisa, we
require verification that he has reached maturity (such as facial hair). {}
ii. This is the reason why some communities don't allow a bar mitzvah boy to
read Parshas Zachor or Parshas Parah (this idea does not appear in Mishna
Berurah, but is recorded by Yalkut Yosef and others). {}
VI. Celebration of a Bas Mitzvah
a. R. Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986) strongly objected to having a bas mitzvah
celebration in a public setting. He felt it was an idea taken from Reform Judaism. He
adds that if he had the power, he would stop bar mitzvah celebrations, because they
have been taken out of hand. However, since they started, he can't stop them. Bas
mitzvahs which were not popular (when the teshuva was written in 1956) should not
be initiated. {}
b. R. Moshe was then asked that all of the reasons that apply to celebrating bar mitzvah
seem to apply to bas mitzvah. If so, shouldn't we celebrate the event? R. Moshe
responds that when a boy becomes bar mitzvah, it is recognizable because he is now
able to participate in the minyan. A girl's becoming bas mitzvah doesn't produce any
recognizable results. {}
c. R. Yechiel Ya'akov Weinberg (1884-1966) disagrees with R. Moshe. He contends
that in earlier generations, it was not necessary to celebrate a bas mitzvah because the
girls were on a higher level and their main influence was in the home. Now, the girls
go to school and are exposed to all sorts of outside influences and if they are not
shown that they are important, it can lead to them rejecting Torah, ‫ח"ו‬. {}
i. R. Weinberg agrees with R. Moshe that it should not take place in a shul, but
he does allow it in a public social hall. {}
d. R. Ovadia Yosef also endorses celebrating a bas mitzvah because all of the reasons
that apply to bar mitzvah, apply to bas mitzvah as well. He doesn't understand R.
Moshe's distinction between bar mitzvah's that are recognizable and bas mitzvahs that
are not, because that wasn't a factor in the earlier discussions about celebrating a bar
mitzvah. {}
‫‪ .6‬חתם סופר על התורה בראשית נ‪:‬כג‬ ‫‪ .1‬אבות ה‪:‬כא‬

‫‪ .2‬מדרש רבה תולדות סג‪:‬י‬

‫‪ .3‬שיר השירים ג‪:‬יא‬

‫‪ .7‬בבא קמא פז‪.‬‬
‫ציון‪,‬‬
‫בנות ִ‬ ‫נה ְ‬ ‫אי ָ‬ ‫נה ור ְ ֶ‬ ‫צ ְאֶ ָ‬
‫רה‪,‬‬‫ט ָ‬ ‫ע ָ‬ ‫מה‪--‬בָ ֲ‬‫ל ֹ‬
‫ש ֹ‬ ‫ְ‬ ‫מלֶך ְ‬ ‫בַ ֶ‬
‫ביום‬ ‫ְ‬ ‫אמו‬
‫ִ‬ ‫רה‪-‬לו‬ ‫ט ָ‬ ‫ע ְ‬ ‫ש ִ‬‫ֶ‬
‫חת‬‫מ ַ‬ ‫ש ְ‬‫ִ‬ ‫ביום‪,‬‬ ‫נתו‪ ,‬ו ְ‬ ‫חתֻ ָ‬ ‫ֲ‬
‫‪ .8‬ים של שלמה בבא קמא ז‪:‬לז‬ ‫לבו‪.‬‬ ‫ִ‬
‫‪ .4‬זהר חדש בראשית אות תרנד‬

‫‪ .5‬כף החיים או"ח רכה‪:‬יא‬

‫‪ .9‬דברי מלכיאל א‪:‬ג‬
 ‫‪ .12‬ריטב"א מז‪:‬‬ ‫‪ .10‬אור החיים שמות כב‪:‬ה‬

‫‪ .11‬חתם סופר על התורה בראשית נ‪:‬כג‬

‫‪ .13‬שלחן ערוך או"ח נה‪:‬ט‬

‫‪ .14‬משנה ברורה נה‪:‬מב‬

‫‪ .15‬ספר האגור הצעות החידות‬

 ‫‪ .20‬דברי מלכיאל א‪:‬ג‬ ‫‪ .16‬שלחן ערוך או"ח נה‪:‬י‬

‫‪ .17‬רמ"א או"ח רכה‪:‬ב‬

‫‪ .18‬מגן אברהם רכה‪:‬ד‬

‫‪ .21‬מהרי"ל הל' קריאת התורה אות ה'‬

‫‪ .22‬מנהגים דק"ק וורמיישא אות רפט‬

‫‪ .23‬מסכת שמחות ח‪:‬ג‬

‫‪ .19‬ים של שלמה בבא קמא ז‪:‬לז‬

‫‪ .24‬נדה מו‪.‬‬

‫‪ .25‬שו"ת הרא"ש טז‪:‬א‬

‫‪ .30‬אגרות משה או"ח א‪:‬קד‬ ‫‪ .26‬שו"ת מהרי"ט א‪:‬נא‬

‫‪ .27‬נדה מח‪:‬‬

‫‪ .28‬משנה ברורה נה‪:‬לא‬

‫‪ .31‬אגרות משה או"ח ב‪:‬צז‬

‫‪ .29‬ילקוט יוסף דיני חינוך קטן עמ' רנא‬

‫)כשרות‪ ,‬שבת‪ ,‬טהרת משפחה(‪ ,‬הטיפול‬ ‫‪ .32‬שו"ת שרידי אש ב‪:‬לט‬
‫בחינוך הבנים‪ ,‬וחובת העידוד והחיזוק‬ ‫ויש טוענים נגד ההיתר של חגיגת הבת‬
‫לבעל בלימוד תורה ובשמירת מצוות‪,‬‬ ‫מצוה‪ ,‬משום שהוא נגד מנהג הדורות‬
‫והיותה שקודה לתת עיני' באיש שהוא ת"ח‬ ‫אבל‬ ‫הקודמים‪ ,‬שלא נהגו מנהג זה‪.‬‬
‫וכל הדברים האלה הם טעמים‬ ‫ויר"ש‪.‬‬ ‫באמת אין זו טענה‪ ,‬כי בדורות שלפנינו לא‬
‫גדולים להתיר חגיגה זו אפילו לפי שיטת‬ ‫הצטרכו לעסוק בחינוך הבנות‪ ,‬לפי שכל‬
‫הגר"א‪ ,‬שהנהו מחמיר מאוד בענינים אלה‪.‬‬ ‫אחד מישראל הי' מלא תורה ויראת שמים‪,‬‬
‫וגם האויר בכל עיר ועיר מישראל הי' מלא‬
‫‪ .33‬שו"ת יחוה דעת ב‪:‬כט‬ ‫וממולא בריח וברוח היהדות‪ ,‬והבנות‬
‫שגדלו בבית ישראל שאפו את רוח היהדות‬
‫בקרבן באפס מעשה וכמעט שינקו את‬
‫היהדות משדי אמותיהן‪ .‬אבל עכשיו נשתנו‬
‫השפעת הרחוב‬ ‫הדורות שינוי עצום‪.‬‬
‫עוקרת מלב כל נער ונערה כל זיק של‬
‫יהדות‪ ,‬והבנות מתחנכות בבתי ספר נכרים‬
‫או בבתי ספר חילונים‪ ,‬שאינם שוקדים‬
‫להשריש בלב תלמידיהם אהבה לתורת‬
‫ישראל ולמנהגי הקודש של היהדות‬
‫השלימה‪ ,‬עכשיו מוטל עלינו לרכז כל‬
‫כחותינו בחינוכן של הבנות‪ .‬והרי זה דבר‬
‫מכאיב לב‪ ,‬שבחינוך הכללי‪ ,‬לימודי שפות‬
‫וספרות חילונית ומדעי הטבע והרוח דואגים‬
‫לבנות כמו לבנים‪ ,‬ואילו בחינוך הדתי‪,‬‬
‫לימודי תנ"ך וספרות המוסר של חז"ל‪,‬‬
‫וחינוך למצוות מעשיות שהנשים חייבות‬
‫בהן‪ ,‬מזניחים לגמרי‪ .‬לאשרנו עמדו גדולי‬
‫ישראל בדור הקודם על הקלקלה הזאת‬
‫ותקנו מוסדות של תורה וחיזוק דתי בעד‬
‫בנות ישראל‪ .‬הקמת רשת גדולה ומקיפה‬
‫של בית יעקב היא ההפגנה הנהדרה ביותר‬
‫של דורנו‪ .‬ושורת ההגיון הישר וחובת‬
‫העיקרון הפדגוגי מחייב‪ ,‬כמעט‪ ,‬לחוג גם‬
‫לבת את הגעתה לחיוב המצות‪ ,‬והפלי' זו‬
‫שעושים בין הבנים והבנות בנוגע לחגיגת‬
‫הבגרות פוגעת קשה ברגש האנושי של‬
‫הבת הבוגרת‪ ,‬אשר בשטחים אחרים כבר‬
‫זכתה בזכיון האמנציפציא‪ ,‬כביכול‪ .‬ואף‬
‫שנוטה אני להתיר חגיגת בת מצוה‪ ,‬מ"מ‬
‫מסכים אני לדעת הגאון ר"מ פינשטיין‬
‫בספרו אגרות משה או"ח ד' סי' ל"ו‪ ,‬שאין‬
‫לחגוג חגיגה זו בבהכ"נ ואף לא בלילה אף‬
‫שאין שם אנשים‪ ,‬כי אם בבית פרטי או‬
‫באולם הסמוך לביהכ"נ‪ .‬ובתנאי שהרב‬
‫ידרוש בפני הבת הבוגרת דרשה מאליפה‬
‫ולהזהירה להיות שומרת מהיום והלאה‬
‫המצוות העיקריות בדברים שבינה למקום‬