extended definition alistair.

docx
by Christian Alistair Dumaup

Submission date: 21-Feb-2019 08:29PM (UT C-0800)

Submission ID: 1081798909
File name: extended_def inition_alistair.docx (4)
Word count: 174
Character count: 6333
Two Successes: Explaining complex concepts and processes for a general reader--I understood you. :) 2. Great design-
-it helps a reader make their way through complex ideas slowly and with the illustrations there when you need them. Two
Challenges: 1. Use quotation marks to show when something's a Law (I almost marked you for plagiarism). I like your
example of a piston system. Can you use other real-world examples to illustrate these Laws? It's the real world
applications that add the "wow" factor, I think.

One-Sent Def

I love your use of first person here, but do know that Trefil's text doesn't use it, so it would be inappropriate for our
assigned context.

can't use "system" in def of "system" :)

add example

great example!

Great design feature with right column

 Could add a heading here (history?)

sounds like the physician was formulated.

define this law

to avoid plagiarism, try

making this active voice

nor?
 without the addition of outside forces?

cit at ion add

capt ion add

Since these are "laws," you can quote them
directly (avoid plagiarism)
a URL isn't a sufficient citation. Use Purdue Owl's machine if you like.

good, and thanks!

extended definition alistair.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

25 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
22%
INT ERNET SOURCES
16%
PUBLICAT IONS
16%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
www.eoht.info
Int ernet Source 5%
2
en.wikibooks.org
Int ernet Source 4%
3
Submitted to University of Salford
St udent Paper 4%
4
Submitted to University of Glamorgan
St udent Paper 2%
5
assignmenttutors.blogspot.com
Int ernet Source 2%
6
teaching.ncl.ac.uk
Int ernet Source 2%
7
Submitted to American Intercontinental
University Online
2%
St udent Paper

8
www.swanagetoylibrary.org.uk
Int ernet Source 1%
9
www.authorstream.com
 Int ernet Source

1%
10
www.advanced-steam.org
Int ernet Source 1%
11
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Int ernet Source 1%
12
Spyros G Tzafestas. "Energy, Information,
Feedback, Adaptation, and Self-organization",
1%
Springer Nature, 2018
Publicat ion

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words

Exclude bibliography On
extended definition alistair.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

132
PAGE 1
/150

Text Comment. T wo Successes: Explaining complex concepts and processes f or a

general reader--I understood you. :) 2. Great design--it helps a reader make their way through
complex ideas slowly and with the illustrations there when you need them. T wo Challenges: 1.
Use quotation marks to show when something's a Law (I almost marked you f or plagiarism). I
like your example of a piston system. Can you use other real-world examples to illustrate these
Laws? It's the real world applications that add the "wow" f actor, I think.

QM One-Sent Def
In Markel on Def initions, we learned a strategy f or writing one-sentence def inition, and our
prompt requires students to begin their def initions with one. Can you add one?

Text Comment. I love your use of f irst person here, but do know that T ref il's text doesn't
use it, so it would be inappropriate f or our assigned context.

Text Comment. can't use "system" in def of "system" :)

Text Comment. add example

Text Comment. great example!

Text Comment. Great design f eature with right column

PAGE 2

Text Comment. Could add a heading here (history?)

 Text Comment. sounds like the physician was f ormulated.

Text Comment. def ine this law

Text Comment. to avoid plagiarism, try making this active voice

Text Comment. nor?

PAGE 3

Text Comment. without the addition of outside f orces?

QM citation add
You need a citation here.

QM caption add
you need a caption to explain the relevance of this picture, f igure, or illustration.

PAGE 4

Text Comment. Since these are "laws," you can quote them directly (avoid plagiarism)

PAGE 5

Text Comment. a URL isn't a suf f icient citation. Use Purdue Owl's machine if you like.

Text Comment. good, and thanks!

PAGE 6
RUBRIC: 36 3 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Advanced

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Developing

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Advanced
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Prof icient

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Prof icient

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.