Karen Casillas

Professor Sherman
English 305-03
April 2,2018
Love Components
As living beings, we naturally seek affection from other human beings or simply
from a four-legged animal who makes us company. Many inquire the question, “What is
love?” How can one know what is love, when the term it self can have a universal
meaning. Love is a very broad topic, many of the times it simply a topic avoided;
however I would like to discuss the different categories through which love can be
defined as.
There are many ways we look for love and affection. The foundations needed for
a healthy relationship would be respect, communication, loyalty and honesty. Without
any of these three components, seeking for a perfect companion is an ongoing dream
instead of reality. Without having a good communication, there would not be a
relationship. Before even of the start of a relationship, there must have been some kind of
communication before getting to know the person, more which eventually may have lead
to having a more committed relationship. The most important component would be
communication. While on the other hand, to some there be other factors that compose a
good relationship such as having sexual intercourse. In her poem “True Love”, Sharon
Olds discusses how sex is important for a committed relationship after years of being
together:
In the middle of the night, when we get up
after making love, we look at each other in
complete friendship, we know so fully
what the other has been doing. (624)
I agree with the author while being intimate both partners are being compassionate and in
love. Being intimate with a significant other is more than the feeling of penetration and
pleasurable feeling, but instead it is viewed as way of connecting two individuals as one
unlike any other way. Some people may define sex as a bond that brings two people as
one through a more spiritual and deeper connection.
In like manner of having various components to having a healthy relationship,
there is sometimes a wrong idea of how love can be understood as. Physical affection
plays a strong role in romantic relationships, through affection we as humans tend to feel
a general satisfaction through expressing our emotions through displaying these acts.
However, between affection, domestic violence and abuse is very common among those
who have fallen as victims to misunderstand the difference between these two. For
instance, in What We Talk About, When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver the
protagonist character Terri believes that the act that Ed, her boyfriend at the time was a
sign that he loved her. Terri states, “He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the
living room by my ankles. He kept saying, 'I love you, I love you, you bitch…"What do
you do with a love like that?" (704) in which I can understand since it is said that love
does make someone blind to reality. There are times in which some victims of domestic
violence whether it is presented verbally or physically just take the abuse as “normal” as
it is the abusers way of showing their love for their partner. Many of the times victims of
abuse do not take a step towards leaving a abusive relationship simply for fearing not
finding anyone to love them back or fearing to feel abandoned without the
companionship of someone.