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February 15, 2010

10 Steps to Successful
Coaching
Sophie Oberstein

©2009 by the American Society for Training & Development


Adapted by permission ASTD Press
ISBN: 1-56286-544-7

Introduction
Workplace coaching has gained in popularity, and it workplace, and more people have a general under-
has evolved from being viewed as a punishment for standing of what coaching is, but most probably
poor performance to a perk for those being groomed do not understand the inner workings of the coach-
for positions of greater responsibility. In 10 Steps to coachee relationship. Coaching is more than patting
Successful Coaching, Sophie Oberstein describes people on the back and giving them enthusiastic
how coaching skills are becoming critical manage- encouragement; rather, it is a management tool that
ment competencies as organizations prepare the next can help employees realize their career aspirations.
generation of leaders using fewer financial, human, For someone who is beginning a relationship as a
and training resources. As workplaces become faster- coach for one of their employees, a colleague, or for
paced and more complex, employees at all levels can someone outside the workplace, there is prepara-
gain value from personalized, skilled career assistance. tory work that must be completed prior to the first
Companies also benefit because of strengthened rela- coaching meeting. Some of that work involves learn-
tionships between managers and their direct reports ing more about the coaching process, but much of it
and through the increased motivation and loyalty of involves an internal analysis of motives and skills.
employees.
Step One: Prepare Yourself for the Coaching Role
Part I: Getting Ready to Coach
Knowing what coaching is—and is not—is part of the
Coaching may be a more common occurrence in the
preparation for coaching. Coming to an understand-
Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

ing of what coaching is all about helps new coaches


determine how to approach the role. Taking a one-
size-fits-all approach is not effective due to the diverse Key Concepts
interests and experiences of people in the workplace
and because of the many circumstances where coach- Coaching is not just about patting people on
ing can occur. the back or giving them encouragement. It is a
powerful management tool that helps employ-
Coaching can be a formal or informal relationship ees realize their career aspirations. Successful
which occurs between co-workers, managers and coaching involves the following steps:
their direct reports, or it can be a formalized relation-
ship between a professional coach and client. Despite 1. Prepare for the coaching role.
the different conditions for coaching, the fundamen-
2. Remove personal obstacles to coaching.
tal principle that it is a meaningful and accountable
relationship created through routine one-on-one con- 3. Create the coaching relationship.
versations is universal to all coaching relationships.
4. Find out about the coachee.
The author believes in allowing “much latitude
5. Agree on the coaching goals.
for defining coaching,” but she also believes there
are some definite things that coaching is not. Some 6. Use the power of possibility.
common coaching myths are:
7. Partner to enhance growth between ses-
• Coaching is giving advice. Coaches actually ask a lot sions.
of questions and help people gain an understand-
ing of their own ideas, so that they gain a new 8. Realign when things go bad.
awareness of themselves.
9. Maintain positive changes.
• Coaches have value because they have experience in
10. Complete the coaching cycle.
the coachee’s area of interest or expertise. In many
instances the best coaching comes from some-
one who has an entirely different experience. The
g g g g
value of coaching lies in helping someone under-
stand their own knowledge and experiences in Information about this book and other business titles:
order to use those effectively in current and future www.astd.org
circumstances.
• Coaching is just like therapy. While deep issues Related summaries in the BBS Library:
are discussed and emotions may be a part of the
conversation, coaches do not analyze the past A Manager’s Guide to Coaching
to determine how their coachees came to be in Simple and Effective Ways to Get the Best
their present circumstances. The goal is to look at Out of Your Employees
where someone is and determine how they can By Brian Emerson and Anne Loehr
get to where they want to be.
Coaching Corporate MVPs
• The coach drives the coaching process. The coachee Challenging and Developing
is actually the one who sets the agenda for meet- High-Potential Employees
ings and works in concert with the coach to come By Margaret Butteriss
up with assignments. When the coach calls the
meetings, determines the agenda, and crafts the
assignments, the coach is acting like a boss rather
than a coach.

Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 2
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

Knowing what coaching is not is one way to under- included, is being too busy to notice what is going
stand what makes a good coach. Because the on. The act of noticing is the first step in overcoming
relationship is a partnership, a good coach must listen the obstacles to coaching. Take some time to sit qui-
actively; understand how to ask probing, open-ended etly and reflect about becoming a coach. Some of the
questions; refrain from giving advice; understand thoughts that might occur are questions about one’s
how to partner to set goals and create meaningful ability to coach and about possessing sufficient skills
assignments; and help establish accountability on to be an effective coach.
both sides of the coaching rela-
tionship. At some point in your coaching relationships you are going to
Another part of preparing to be asking your coachees to address their own obstacles. To be
coach is understanding the desire authentic in doing so, you will want to know that you have
to coach and the benefits of coach- been willing to do it yourself.
ing to the coach. It is important to
establish the motivations behind the desire to coach These self-doubts can be addressed only by examining
“so that when the going gets tough, when it is hard to them to determine their origins. For example, cold feet
understand how to fit coaching into an already busy about having the ability and expertise to coach might
schedule” there is a list of benefits that will serve as actually stem from the common coaching myth that a
motivators. The many benefits that coaches can reap coach is an expert who drives the process. Remember-
include career advancement, becoming a better com- ing that a coach asks questions and is a partner in the
municator, promoting a more productive workplace, process might help quell that self-doubt.
and improving leadership skills.
Another way to address obstacles to coaching is by
Step Two: Remove Personal Obstacles entering into a coaching relationship as the coachee.
Being on the other side of a coaching relationship
Once the coaching role and benefits are understood,
adds credibility and shows true belief in the power
coaches need to address any personal obstacles to
of coaching.
being a coach. This is a very important step and might
be one that many are tempted to skip. According to the Step Three: Create the Coaching Relationship(s)
author, “This is one of the steps that will set apart an
Once potential coaches address their own self-doubts
effective workplace coach from someone who simply
and obstacles, it is time to study and approach the
does a good job creating relationships and motivating
coaching relationship. Workplace relationships are
enhanced performance.”
part of what promote happiness and productivity at
One of the obstacles to any relationship, coaching work. A workplace coaching relationship is different
from the average work relationship, because it is a
unique type of relationship that requires special care
About the Author and attention ranging from “choosing the right coach-
ing partner to establishing interaction expectations.”
Sophie Oberstein is the founder of Full Expe-
rience Coaching, a leadership and personal Whether or not the coaching relationship is formal
coaching practice. Before becoming a coach, or informal, it is one that is chosen by both parties
she served as the Employee Development Man- as a designed partnership where explicit decisions
ager for the city of Redwood City, California. are made about how and when the interactions will
Oberstein has published articles in numer- occur. It is a relationship where the “pulse is checked
ous professional journals and is also author of continuously” and where the roles of both parties are
Beyond Free Coffee and Donuts: Marketing Training pre-defined. One person is seeking to reach a goal,
and Development. and the other is helping with the quest to reach the
goal.

Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 3
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

For those who are not professional coaches and are the coaching process that the coach understands
looking to establish a coaching relationship with a the person being coached. This information serves a
colleague, the next step is finding the coachee. Some couple of purposes for the coach. First of all, it allows
guiding questions that can help determine who to the coach to understand the coachee’s behavior, and
coach include: secondly, it helps to establish the trust and rapport
between the two parties.
• Wait for potential coachees or recruit/approach some-
one? Some coaches might wait for someone to Some coaches accomplish this task by using a person-
approach them with issues or questions, while ality typing instrument or profile. These tools help
others might seek out employees or colleagues to define typical behavior patterns and stumbling
who can benefit. blocks. Knowing these personality patterns helps a
coach anticipate where hang-ups might occur.
• Coach employees or colleagues? Some coaches prefer
to work with a direct report or someone within Other tools can help to identify people’s learning
their department, while others prefer those who styles, and this is knowledge that can enhance the
are further removed from day-to-day contact. coaching relationship as well. It can be a help to know
if the coachee learns better through quiet self-reflec-
• Coach high-potential employees or those who have
tion or through group relationships, and whether
performance issues? Some coaches choose to work
visual, verbal or other stimuli best ensure that infor-
with employees who show potential for increased
mation is absorbed and understood.
responsibility, while others prefer to work with
those not performing up to expectations. The coach might also seek information from others
by asking the coachee to identify a variety of people
Regardless of what criteria a coach uses, the coachee
from work, and perhaps outside of it, whom the coach
must have the desire and commitment to enter into a
can talk with. Insight from others can give the coach a
coaching relationship.
broader perspective than might be
Most of our workplace relationships are haphazard. The people gained from just the coaching ses-
sions alone.
we surround ourselves with are those who just happen to be
on our teams or in our departments; the way we interact with This learning process is one that
will go on throughout the relation-
each other is based on existing cultural norms or assumptions.
ship. During meetings, coaches
observe a lot that helps them to better understand the
Once two parties have decided to work together, it is
person they are coaching. The author believes that a
time to begin building the relationship. It is impor-
“powerful way to learn about the coachee’s style and
tant to set clear boundaries and expectations and to
impact is to observe the coachee at work.” It helps to
begin to establish trust in the relationship. It might
further understand behavior by seeing how time is
help to begin the relationship with each person talk-
used, interruptions are handled, and what interper-
ing about their definition of and ideas about coaching.
sonal skills are displayed.
The author also suggests that this is the time to talk
about how to handle issues that might arise in the If observation is used, the coach should schedule time
coaching partnership. This will help create a chan- to discuss the observation and provide feedback. Use
nel of communication if there are difficulties further the sandwich technique to debrief by giving a piece of
down the road. And, the beginning is also the time to constructive feedback sandwiched between two posi-
establish some criteria for knowing when it is time to tive items or strengths.
stop working together.
Other things that are helpful for the coach to know
Step Four: Find Out About the Coachee about the coachee are values, and skills and achieve-
ments. Some of this information will come out in any
Just as coaches must know themselves and under-
personality instruments that are used, in conversa-
stand their motivations for coaching, it is critical to

Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 4
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

tions with others, and in observation. Another way Setting 3-T goals requires coming up with concrete,
might be to engage in a fun question and answer ses- measurable or tangible, tasks. For example, arriving at
sion that can also serve as an ice-breaker. Coaches can work 20 minutes earlier or speaking up three times in
pose such questions as: a meeting. Some goals are harder to measure or make
tangible, such as becoming more trusting. Tying a slid-
• If you could hear a speech from a leading figure in
ing scale to goals like this can make them measurable.
any field, who would it be?
For instance, when the goal is set, coachees determine
• What would a movie about your life be called? their current trust level on a scale of 1-10. As coach-
What songs would be on the soundtrack? ing progresses, they periodically re-rate themselves
• What would a stained glass window in your on the same scale to determine if they have become
house depict? more trusting.

• What one object should you throw away but The time-bound piece of the goal setting helps to pro-
never will? vide motivation as well as a set period for action. An
example of a time-bound goal is stating that in two-
This discovery process is important for establishing months the coachee will have a system for following
the coaching relationship, and it helps both parties up on calls and letters in place. Adding the phrase “in
make a deeper connection. order to spend more time at home,” makes this a goal
Part II: The Coaching Relationship one that is also tied to something important.
Once the preparatory work for
coaching is complete, the ground
We humans are social animals and our relationships are very
rules for the partnership have important to us. A workplace coaching relationship has the
been established, and the coach potential to be one of those transforming and positive relation-
has gathered information about ships in our lives.
the coachee, it is time for the work
to begin. In order to ensure a productive partnership, Setting goals is just the first part of the process. It is
both parties will need to agree on their coaching goals also important to set up an action plan or a road map
and build their partnership around solid work during for meeting the goals. Some may set up charts or con-
and between coaching sessions. tinuums to show progress, while others might opt for
a self-evaluation prior to each coaching session, which
Step Five: Agree on What Should Be Accomplished
can serve as an agenda for the upcoming meeting.
Both the coach and the coachee need to agree on the
Step Six: Using the Power of Possibility
focus and goals for the coaching relationship. There
are many topics and skills that coaching can focus on, Often times the goals that are set might be modest, or
such as career path, money management, or leader- they might appear to be stretch goals but in reality are
ship, just to name a few. Once the focus is established, not. One of the ways that coaches can really benefit
it is time to set the goals. In a coaching relationship, their coachees is by helping them “dream and plan
goals serve as reference points to be checked periodi- bigger than they think they can.” This helps reinforce
cally. Progress towards goals helps provide proof that the idea that it is possible to reach established goals,
the coaching relationship is working. or possibly even move beyond those goals. Coaches
can use the skill of championing to help reinforce this
Many will use SMART goals. SMART goals are Spe-
power of possibility.
cific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
The author uses what she calls the 3-T goals because Championing may require coaches to push their
she feels that a personal tie-in is missing in SMART coachees to go beyond their comfort zone. After all,
goals. 3-T goals are Tangible, Time-bound, and Tied as the author points out, “People do not need another
to something that matters personally or profession- protector; they need someone who will inspire them
ally. and expand their possibilities.” A coach does this by

Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 5
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

examining the goals and dreams that are presented by the answer
the coachee and exploring ways to make them bigger,
• hearing and understanding both the content and
as well as looking for places where the coachee might
emotion in the answer
be holding back.
When coachees know that they have been heard, they
One caveat to championing is not to take it too far and
will be open to sorting out their feelings and working
turn it into an agenda, or to use it to imply that it is
on solutions.
wrong to do anything other than go for the biggest
dream. After all, the dreams belong to the coachees, Step Seven: Partner to Enhance Growth Between
and, if they choose to follow a different path, that has Sessions
to be okay. “Championing” the dream is simply let- The exploration and conversation that go on in a
ting them know it is okay to go for it. coaching session is important, but so is the work that
Acknowledging is another skill that coaches can use goes on between coaching sessions. Coaching home-
to help reinforce the power of possibility. Acknowl- work is important because coachees have a chance to
edging is like holding a mirror in front of a person work on skills and goals on their own, to make their
and helping that person see the best traits in him or own discoveries about themselves, and to find solu-
herself. Acknowledging goes beyond recognizing tions independently. The homework also serves to
accomplishments and successes and involves reveal- keep the coaching sessions in the forefront rather than
ing a person’s core whether that “be a good person, allowing them to fade into the background between
a powerful person, a thoughtful person, or a smart coaching sessions.
person.” When people see themselves in a positive Coaching homework assignments differ greatly from
light they are apt to accomplish more. those given in school, as both parties partner to create
the assignment, and in fact, the coachee should take
the lead in determining assign-
Coaches are not afraid of people failing or getting their hopes ments. The coach can and should
dashed. They generally believe that people are capable, power- suggest assignments that would
ful, and terrific. They know their coachees are strong enough be helpful, but it must be okay for
to handle hardships in pursuit of a goal. those assignments to be turned
down or modified.
One technique for helping coachees see their pos- Assignments might be work-related projects, answer-
sibilities is through the use of thoughtful questions. ing some thought-provoking questions, trying out
One reason for this is that questions tend to get past a new mantra, or anything else that will help with
people’s defenses and prompt them to devise answers meeting the goals that have been set. Coaching assign-
that work for them. Open-ended, curious, bold, and ments may not always be active. They might involve
often naïve questions are the most powerful. These thinking through an issue or mentally preparing for
are the questions that get at the heart of the matter. a tough meeting. The bottom line is that the assign-
Examples include “why” questions, “why don’t ments must be compelling and meaningful.
you…” questions, or questions about details that pro-
voke thought and internal analysis. Part III: Keeping the Momentum
Coaching relationships require total honesty on the
Listening subsequently becomes a very important skill
part of both parties, and the topics explored can be
for coaches. Coaches can improve their listening by
ones that are uncomfortable to one or both parties.
improving their skills of active listening. Active listen-
Sometimes this can lead to tension and cause prob-
ing involves:
lems in the relationship between coach and coachee.
• restating the answer briefly Keeping the momentum going and the relationship
working can call upon some special skills.
• mirroring the essence or most important points of

Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 6
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

Step Eight: Realign When Things Go Bad relationship of this type, and that exploring the under-
lying issues might produce some positive results. This
There are times when a coaching relationship is not
will help steer the focus away from blame and turn it
running as smoothly as it could. It is incumbent upon
towards making a more positive relationship.
the coach to recognize the situation and to analyze it.
Here are a few signs: Some common reasons which may account for this
rough spot include:
• It is getting difficult. Each session is a struggle that
is dreaded. • the coachee may have forgotten that the coach
is not supposed to provide all the guidance and
• The agenda keeps changing. The coachee is not
answers
focusing and new issues surface each week.
• the coachee has a glass-half-empty attitude and
• The sessions are sounding like broken records. The
needs to be reminded more frequently of suc-
same issues are being discussed with no resolu-
cesses
tion.
• the coachee does not want to deal with emotional
• The discussion is superficial. The conversation only
content
skims the surface and the coachee is uninvolved.
• the coachee lacks confidence, or is overconfident
• Resistance and defensiveness are a part of the ses-
sions. Although formerly engaged and willing Some ways to approach solving the identified issues
participant, the coachee becomes defensive and are to ask the coachee what kind of support would
challenging. be helpful; review milestones that have been reached;
and provide resources for any issues that are identi-
The skill of listening, particularly the “skill of listening
fied.
to what is not being said,” is important in these situa-
tions. The author believes that the
coach must look at the conversa- Many appliances and electronic products come with trouble-
tion “from the fly-on-the-wall shooting guides—those charts that list things that could go
vantage point. From that distance wrong and a few suggestions for fixing them. It is unfortunate
the coach can see how the third
party in the room is doing—that
that in coaching, as in life, the troubleshooting guide is not
is, the relationship.” included.
Relationship realignment starts with the coach. Go
Step Nine: Maintain Positive Changes
back to that self-examination done in preparation
for coaching and make sure that any of the obstacles When the majority or all of the major milestones have
identified there are not to blame. Next, examine the been met, it does not necessarily mean that it is time
relationship with the coachee. Are there any angry or to end the coaching relationship. The ground must
negative feelings? If so, analyze them. Is there profes- be set so that the changes can be maintained. Think
sional or personal jealousy? Is it an issue of respect? about Weight Watchers: when someone reaches their
goal weight, they move from regular membership to
If there are issues that cannot be overcome, then it
lifetime membership, which is designed to help rein-
might be time to sever the relationship and suggest a
force the habits and keep the weight off. It is similar
new coach. If there is not a reason to sever the relation-
in coaching.
ship, then it is time to talk with the coachee. Go back
to the discussion from Step Three about handling the Both coach and coachee will know they have reached
relationship if it should turn difficult. this step when there is not much to discuss from
week-to-week and when the goals shift from meeting
It is important to keep this meeting positive and to
new challenges to remaining in a positive productive
make sure the coachee understands that this relation-
place. People moving into maintenance realize what
ship is important. Explain that this is not unusual in a
Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 7
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

they have accomplished and that those accomplish- relationship. Will the sessions be stopped completely
ments took a lot of work. However, they also may be and immediately or will there be a transition period
afraid that they cannot maintain or move ahead on with meetings occurring less frequently? Is there a
their own. possibility for a recontracting of the relationship in
the future with new goals and objectives? This clo-
Exploring this fear is part of the process. Try to deter-
sure conversation can help cement the learning that
mine if the fear is imagined or real. If it is imagined,
has taken place.
explore techniques such as positive self talk or a
mantra to help the coachee move beyond the fear. g g g g
If the fear is based on real factors, like negative col-
leagues or bosses, then set up action plans that can be Features of the Book
implemented as necessary.
Reading Time 3-4 hours, 230 pages
Another technique for helping a coachee stick with
positive new habits is celebration. Celebrations in Anyone who is exploring the possibility of becoming a
coaching can be festive, but they might also be sober workplace coach can use 10 Steps to Successful Coach-
reflections on what has been accomplished. These ing by Sophie Oberstein as an entry point. It will also
occasions will affirm the work that has been put in prove useful to managers who want to improve their
to the process and provide motivation for continuing. interactions and relationships with their direct reports.

It might be helpful to create a stretch assignment. Each chapter provides guidance in a critical coaching
For example, if learning how to trust in order not to step by providing examples, as well as exercises and
micromanage was a goal that has been achieved, one tools. There are worksheets and plans for the coach to
could ask that those same techniques be put to use in use personally as well as tools that coaches can use in
other areas. sessions with their coachees. Each chapter also has a
section called Applying the Learning that can form the
Scheduling periodic follow up sessions, either in basis for a personal action plan. The tools and infor-
person or via phone, in which the coachee checks in is mation in this book will serve as a roadmap to help
another way to ensure that the change is maintained. prepare new coaches and to serve as a refresher to
At this point the sessions will probably be shorter and those who have been coaching for a while.
further apart, and it might be helpful to identify a col-
league or friend to provide support between sessions.
Step Ten: Complete the Coaching Cycle Contents
Preface
Coaching is a relationship that is designed to end.
Its intent is to create independence and to encourage Introduction
individuals to find their own fulfillment. Step One: Prepare Yourself for the Coaching Role
The four parts to ending a coaching relationship are: Step Two: Remove Personal Obstacles
1. Noticing a sign in the coaching relationship, or recog- Step Three: Create Your Coaching Relationship
nizing that something is changing
Step Four: Find Out About Your Coachee
2. Learning, or incorporating the successes and fail-
ures during the relationship Step Five: Agree on What You Want to Accomplish

3. Celebrating, or acknowledging how each has con- Step Six: Use the Power of Possibility
tributed to the relationship and to the outcomes Step Seven: Partner to Enhance Growth Between Ses-
4. Intention setting, or being clear and purposeful sions
about what comes next Step Eight: Realign When Things Go Bad
Options should be discussed at the end of a coaching Step Nine: Maintain Positive Changes
Business Book Summaries® February 15, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 8
10 Steps to Successful Coaching Sophie Oberstein

Step Ten: Complete the Coaching Cycle


Conclusion
Resources
Index
About the Author

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