Penelopiad Paper

by Celeste Denny

Submission date: 06-Dec-2018 10:54PM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 1052413776
File name: Penelopiad_Paper.docx (26.04K)
Word count: 816
Character count: 4014
 ✔︀

✔︀ Here I think I would

even give Atwood
credit for what she
does: In The
Penelopiad,Margaret
Atwood gives the
maids a voice to
T ense express their side of
the story that unfolds
in "The Odyssey".

"although Atwood gives them a voice, that voice is never actually heard."

T ense T ense

Missing "," into

Use a quote here vs
the underworld and becomes
just paraphrasing the
St rengt hen example text

5 6

defense attorney
I won't mark it everywhere, but you need to watch your tense throughout
^

Improper Cit at ion Support wit h example

He does seem to know, though, since he also checks The Odyssey as a primary source

I feel like the second part of your paragraph more appropriately fits with your second body paragraph
 8

Good quot es
Good Int egrat ion [and] P/V

Support wit h example

P/V
Support wit h example

Good Int egrat ion

Explain why these

words to O are
significant

Support wit h example

✔︀

P/V
Penelopiad Paper
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

/0 Instructor

Celeste--overall you've done a good job, and your

ideas and intentions are clear. T here are moments
where using more evidence to support the claims
you are making would be helpf ul. Also watch your
topic sentence sentence structure; you don't want
your essay to sound f ormulaic by starting each
paragraph with the same phrasing.

Otherwise look at my comments directly on your

paper. (And make sure those citations are right!)

B/B+

PAGE 1

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Text Comment. Here I think I would even give Atwood credit f or what she does: In T he
Penelopiad,Margaret Atwood gives the maids a voice to express their side of the story that
unf olds in "T he Odyssey".

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

Strikethrough.

QM Tense
Use present tense

Strikethrough.

Strikethrough.
 Text Comment. "although Atwood gives them a voice, that voice is never actually heard."

QM Tense
Use present tense

QM Tense
Use present tense

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Text Comment. into

Text Comment. Use a quote here vs just paraphrasing the text

Text Comment. the underworld and becomes

Strikethrough.

QM Strengthen example
Strengthen this example. Look f or more appropriate evidence to include, and then clearly explain
why it supports your claim.

Comment 5
I'm not 100% sure how you are connecting this to the point you make earlier in the sentence. In
other words, why would being excused f rom killing the suitors also excuse him f rom also killing
the maids? Why would that be self -evident, since they don't truly belong in the same category.

Comment 6
Why is this signif icant?

Text Comment. def ense attorney

Text Comment. I won't mark it everywhere, but you need to watch your tense throughout
 QM ^
Insert word:

Additional Comment

ultimately

QM Support with example

Include an example that best supports this point. Each idea needs to relate to your claim and be
supported with an example f rom the source(s).

QM Improper Citation
Improper citation:
Improperly cited material. Please use the link below to f ind links to inf ormation regarding specif ic
citation styles: http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
Additional Comment

Go back to your notes on this.

Text Comment. He does seem to know, though, since he also checks T he Odyssey as a
primary source

Strikethrough.

Text Comment. I f eel like the second part of your paragraph more appropriately f its with
your second body paragraph

PAGE 2

Comment 8
T ry not to begin each topic sentence with the same sentence structure

QM ^
Insert word:

Additional Comment

in

QM Good quotes
Good use of quotes that help support your argument.

Text Comment. [and]

QM Good Integration
 Great, f luid integration

QM P/V
Passive voice:
Passive voice constructions do not tell your reader as much as the corresponding active
version would. For instance, in the phrase "it is understood," a reader cannot know who or what
is doing the understanding. A more active version requires that you tell your reader who is
perf orming the action: "Students understand." While there are rare occasions when a writer
cannot avoid the passive voice, the more inf ormative active version is almost always a better
choice. Changing passive constructions to active always makes writing more lively and
accessible.

Strikethrough.

Strikethrough.

QM Support with example

Include an example that best supports this point. Each idea needs to relate to your claim and be
supported with an example f rom the source(s).

QM P/V
Passive voice:
Passive voice constructions do not tell your reader as much as the corresponding active
version would. For instance, in the phrase "it is understood," a reader cannot know who or what
is doing the understanding. A more active version requires that you tell your reader who is
perf orming the action: "Students understand." While there are rare occasions when a writer
cannot avoid the passive voice, the more inf ormative active version is almost always a better
choice. Changing passive constructions to active always makes writing more lively and
accessible.

QM Support with example

Include an example that best supports this point. Each idea needs to relate to your claim and be
supported with an example f rom the source(s).

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word. Consider using the article a.

QM Good Integration
Great, f luid integration

Text Comment. Explain why these words to O are signif icant

QM Support with example

Include an example that best supports this point. Each idea needs to relate to your claim and be
supported with an example f rom the source(s).
 Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.

QM ✔︀
Nice work here.

QM P/V
Passive voice:
Passive voice constructions do not tell your reader as much as the corresponding active
version would. For instance, in the phrase "it is understood," a reader cannot know who or what
is doing the understanding. A more active version requires that you tell your reader who is
perf orming the action: "Students understand." While there are rare occasions when a writer
cannot avoid the passive voice, the more inf ormative active version is almost always a better
choice. Changing passive constructions to active always makes writing more lively and
accessible.

PAGE 3

Strikethrough.